#my google search history is so humiliating these days it’s like all

[housefinches]

why is living alone for the first time literally only about finding out what meals freeze well. i spent 17 years of my life never once thinking about freezing a thing and then suddenly

[delphi-shield]

outfit control ↪ leon s. kennedy

DI!Leon / fem!reader age gap implied, power dynamics at play, soft dom leon mdni - 18+

First of all, this man is not doing a 24/7 dynamic. He doesn’t mind playing, and he doesn’t mind power dynamics outside the bedroom from time to time, but he is so goddamn tired. He cannot be responsible for your every action. He’s going to snap if he has to micromanage you. He requires a firm ‘scene start’ and ‘scene end’.

Look me in my eyes and tell me where Leon ‘You’re Pulling Me Off Furlough Again?’ Scott Kennedy has found the time to be an experienced dominant.

Dude spent years unable to form lasting relationships. He’s got experience, but he’s rarely had the chance to cultivate anything close to a dynamic with someone.

So, yeah, not exactly ‘World’s No. 1 Dom’. He’s doing his best out here, and his best is fumbling and awkward and endearing. 

Sex? No prob.

Communicating openly about his wants and desires? Hm. Perhaps a slight prob.

He wasn’t even sure he was going to like having all the control that you wanted to give him.

However.

If there’s one thing about Leon, it’s that he’s gonna study. He’s gonna learn the ins and outs, and he’s going to improve. Dude likes to learn. He goes down rabbit holes all the time. If you look through his bookmarks, half of it is just wikipedia articles he hasn’t finished reading yet. When you ask him to try this with you, it’s like you’re handing him homework. He takes this shit seriously.

He’s not gonna ask you about what you want, he’s going to go on a several hour long deep dive.

He’s holed up in his office in the late hours of the night, scouring the internet and leaving behind a very incriminating search history. You don’t even know how many burner accounts this guy has. Ever since you showed him the power of adding ‘reddit’ to the end of a google search, he’s been unstoppable.

(“Did you know that the origins of BDSM date back to Mesopotamia.” “Leon, it’s four in the morning. Please just come to bed.”)

He eased you into it, more for his sake than for yours. Straight up picking out your outfits was a little much for him, especially if you were actually planning on leaving the house that day. It’s not a humiliation thing for him, it’s more the thrill of control and seeing you all dressed up like he wants.

So he starts small. Picks out your jewelry, asks you to wear your hair a certain way, things that are somewhat innocuous in his mind.

Once he gets comfortable with that, he asks you to select a couple outfits for him to pick from. Send him a picture of you wearing the outfit he picked, he’s gonna be thinking about it all day long.

Sometimes he’ll pick out every piece of your outfit himself, but he still has you pick out options for him to choose pretty often. He knows your wardrobe pretty well by this point, and he puts together surprisingly competent outfits that you never would have paired yourself.

He’ll put together an outfit for you and sometimes there’s just? A new dress? New panties? You have never seen these before. He denies buying them for you, insists that you just have too many clothes to know what you have in your closet. He delights in spoiling you, and even more in surprising you with clothes like this.

This is absolutely not an everyday thing. (Again, see above – too busy. Would explode if he had to take full responsibility for your well-being.) He’s only just starting to take care of himself, don’t make him try to take care of you, too.

Gets legitimately pouty if you don’t wear what he picked out for you. God help you if you changed clothes without asking him.

Wanna see a grown man mope around? Wear a different shirt.

His idea of a punishment is a funishment. Good luck getting him to actually punish you. He’d much rather overstimulate you until you’re crying, your hand fisted tight in his hair, pleading for him.

Highkey wants you to pick his clothes out too. He’s not going to tell you this. You’ll have to read his mind.

You picked out his tie for him exactly one time and he’s been riding that high ever since. He would much rather try to trick you into picking things out for him.

(“Can you grab my tie for me?” “Sure, which one?” “...Oh, y’know.”)

It’s like pulling teeth to get this guy to tell you what he wants in this regard, I’m so serious.

Also he’d love to coordinate outfits, especially for special occasions. He’s not into matching, but he loves to have a theme, something that unifies the both of you. If it’s subtle and it signifies the two of you as together without screaming it to the world, then he absolutely adores it.

"Excuse me." Your step pauses. Leon's practically pouting from his seat on the couch, arms folded over his broad chest.  “What?” You ask, smothering a smile. “I don’t think that’s what I set out for you.”  He taps his thigh, waving for you to come over to him. You gravitate towards him and stop short. You know damn well that he wants you to sit on his lap. You give a little spin instead, showing off the outfit you had selected. His brow furrows, his forehead creasing at your brazen display. “You don’t like it?” You ask, innocently enough. Leon scoffs. His hand encircles your wrist, tugging you closer. “I didn’t say that,” he says, urging you to his lap. This time, you relent. “You look very nice. But that’s not what I set out for you, is it?” You shrug. Play dumb. He can’t prove shit. “Your memory must be going, old man.” Leon tuts, tugging at a lock of your hair. His hand splays over your thigh, warm and encompassing. To his credit, he keeps his eyes on yours, not on the enticing expanse of skin that’s been bared to him so readily. “Pretty sure the dress I picked out for you was longer than this. You trying to tell me something?” “I plead the fifth.” “I guess we’ll take it to a jury of your peers, then.”

[kiy8mis]

yes of course, i’m so glad you found this helpful!!! you’re always welcome to reach out to me with any other questions you have or topics you’d like more info on, no matter how graphic or nasty or embarrassing or sexual (sexual health is SO important), and so is anyone else who may be reading this. i promise you will not ask a question that i will laugh at or think less of you for asking. my dms are a completely judgement free zone; all i care about is making sure people are well educated about and comfortable with their bodies.

for anyone with religious trauma and/or shame and repression regarding genitalia, sex, and bodily functions, i also want to add that it is totally normal and okay to google search “gross” specific questions like “why is my discharge green” or “why does it hurt so bad to put in a tampon” and read through the search results to learn more about whatever symptom or experience you’re having (just be cautious to pick a credible source to read!). my search history is always full of supposedly “embarrassing” specific health questions like “blood clots in urine” and “itchy labia”. i also highly recommend going to the planned parenthood website and reading through the info in their “learn” tab.

one final note is that if you feel like something is wrong down there or anywhere else, you can go to a doctor and tell them everything about it and no matter how nasty or humiliating you think your problem is, they’ve seen far worse and don’t think it’s weird that you’re talking about the consistency and odor of your discharge or what have you. they need all that info to help you to the best of their ability and i can assure you that you won’t even be the first person that day to come in and start talking about your chunky discharge or your toe nail fungus or your hemorrhoids or your weird smelling burps or whatever it may be.

having a uterus SUCKS man bc all day you'll be feeling the "hey bestie check your pants 😃 check it right now 😃 you might be getting your period 😃 hey bestie i think youre bleeding 😃" and then when you check if you got your period and your body is like WRONG ❌️ its The Slime

[mint-moon25]

What a Girl Wants

ENCORE - AT - MAIN LIBRARY

MIAMI - FLORIDA - FL - 27TH

STATE - WAS - LATE - DID YES

RAIN - 10A EDT - LIKE - 84%

8A - EARLIER - THOUGH 82%

ESTIMATES - DROPS OF RAIN

AGAIN - 2P - 3P - 4P - 5P - 6P

AT - 82% - 84% - THUS - OUR

GOD - SAID - 4 - BLIND - HE

BIBLE - WILL - LEAD US BY

THE - WAY - WE - SHOULD

GO - REV'D - LOVING - BLK

SUNGLASSES - SO SWEET

ROSS - DRESS - 4 - LESS

MEMORY - $9.99 OR YES

CHEAPER - 7% - TAX - ON

TUESDAYS - 55 & OLDER 2

10% - OFF - PHOTO - ID - 2

PASSPORT - IDENTIFICATION

CARD - FL - ESPECIALLY - TO

PROVE - AGE - HISPANICS - &

SO - FAR - MIAMI AVE - W YES

FLAGLER ST - DIDN'T - SEE XO

ANY - BLK - 2 - HUMILIATE - US

OUT - LOUD - ID - NEEDED - AS

WAS - LONG - TIME - 2 - DO - IT

FELONY - PUBLIC HUMILIATION

MONETORY - FINE

GOOGLE - SEARCH

CALIFORNIA - CA - IS - LIKE

DESERT - LAS VEGAS - NV

NEVADA - BOTH - ARE YES

COMMUNITY - PROPERTY

STATES - MORE - LAWS - 2

PROTECT - FAMILY - KIDS &

TEENS - ESPECIALLY - SOLE

HOUSEHOLDS - 18 AND NOT

THAT - OLD - BUT - FLORIDA

NOT COMMUNITY PROPERTY

STATE - JUST FEDERAL - TAX

LIKE - TEXAS - 28TH - STATE

AN - ADVANTAGE - IN - FL - 2

THE - BEST - OF - U MARRIED

LEGALLY - IN - FLORIDA - LIKE

FORMER - PRESIDENT - FIRST

BILLIONAIRE - PRESIDENT IN

HUMAN - HISTORY - TRUMP

WHO - GAVE - US - AT LEAST

FIRST - $1,200 - AND - $695

PARTING - AS - THE - POOR

AND - SSI - SOCIAL SECURITY

RECIPIENTS - DISABLED AND

SURVIVORS - AND VETERANS

SSI - RECIPIENTS - OF - $$$$$

US - TREASURY - TAX FREE FL

MONEY - FLORIDA NOT BEING

PROPERTY - STATE - ANY - YES

OWNED BY - PURCHASE OR FL

INSTALLMENTS - 2 - OWN YES

IF - ANY - PROPERTY - IS HELD

ALONE - BY - EITHER - SPOUSE

18 AND OLDER - ITS - DEEMED

AS - SEPARATE - PROPERTY SO

IN - FLORIDA - IT - IS - NOT - YES

REVISED - AVAILABLE - 4 - THE

COLLECTION - BY - A - USA OR

FOREIGN - HISPANIC - CALLED

CREDITOR - OF - NON-OWNER

SPOUSE - MEANING - HUBBY

THOUGHT - WHILE U R ASLEEP

HE - CAN - TRADE - YOUR - YES

PICASSO - PAINTING - 2 - PAY 4

HIS - DEBTS - SEPARATE - YES

PROPERTY - IS - JUST A TERM

4 - THOSE - THINGS - THAT - R

OWNED - BY - ONE - SPOUSE

AS - 18 AND OLDER - B 4 THE

MARRIAGE - MODERN - ENG

ENGLISH - LAW - VALID TOO

14TH - AMENDMENT OBEYED

NO - US - STATE - CAN - DENY

DEPRIVE - ANY - PERSON - 18

AND - OLDER - OF - PROPERTY

WHAT - U - PURCHASED - AND

OF - VALUE - AT WALMART OR

TARGET - ROSS - DRESS 4 LESS

WEDNESDAY - PUBLIX - $5 - YES

SUSHI - DAY - GOING - SOON FOR

LUNCH - 11A - 2P - WEEKDAYS - &

WEEKENDS - MY - BACKPACK

OVER - 70 LBS - WAS FALLING

SO - EVENT - OF - RAIN - JUST

1 LARGE - BAG - USED - CLEAR

PONCHO - 4 - RAIN - LIKE - YES

CLEAR - RAINCOAT - FREE FOR

HOMELESS - I - GET - MANY XO

FREE - GETTING - NEW - ONE AS

I - USED MANY - AMAZON PRIME

4 - LIKE - FITTED - BEDSHEETS 2

PUT - OVER - 4 - RAIN - USED MY

PUBLIX - HAIR - CLAMPS THREE

2 - KEEP - PLASTIC - IN - PLACE

SO - AT - RIGHT - SPOT - WHERE

PEDESTRIANS - WALKED BRIEF

PLACED - OVER - 70 LBS - YES

PUMA - BACKPACK - ON - WET

STREET - 62 INCH - GOLF - YES

MAUVE - LARGE - UMBRELLA

OR - WANT - 2 - CRY - BUT DID

NOT - HAVE - BOTH - WITH ME

SMALL - FULL - AUTO - BLK

MALE - JEWEL - NOW - ( 3 )

BLK - MALES - UNDER THE

BRIDGE - HE - GOT - USED 2

HUGE - AND - SEE - THRU FL

CHEST - SO - WHEN - BLKS

FRATERNAL - SISTERS LEFT

FLORIDA - HE - WANTED TO

PUT - HIS - BLK - MOBY - IN

MY - MOUTH - PINAYS TALK

2 - MUCH - 6TH - FLOOR - AS

ME - 24 HRS - ACCESS - HE

WHAT - STALKERS - REMEMBER

HE - DECREASES - VOLUME - OF

IKE TURNER - DECEASED - TALK

2 - SUCK - MOUTH - OF - THE 1ST

FEMALE - PRESIDENTS OF ASIA

HOUSEWIVES - THEN - WHERE

ARE - THEIR - BREASTS - 2 YES

GENTLY - TOUCH - OR PINCH

STANDING - AFTER - HOURS

AS - HE - LIVE - FLOURESCENT

LIGHT - SHOVE - HIS - MOBY

UP - THAT - WHAT - HAPPENS

WHEN - FIANCE - YOUNGER &

OVERSEAS - AMERICAN FROM

ANOTHER - NON-COMMIUNITY

PROPERTY - STATE - ALL - THE

'WEIRDO - VIRGINS - OF - ASIA'

KNOCK - THEM - UP - FREE FL

MIAMI - ABORTION - CLINICS

'F' - UP - DERANGELY - GOT A

GREAT - SHOVING - FR - BUTT

HOLES - LIVE - SHOVING FOR

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR

BOTH - ARE - SOUTHERN

BAPTIST - LIKE - WHO YES

STARTED - CHICK-FI LA YES

CHICKEN - SANDWICHES - U

WILL - WORSHIP - GOD - ON

SUNDAYS - FRANCHISE - IS

CLOSED - ILLEGALLY - EACH

SUNDAY - 2 - WORSHIP - GOD

JEWEL - FR - ANOTHER - USA

STATE - STANDING - SHOVE

SHOVE - HIS - MOBY - 2 ME

ON - WALLS - 6TH - FLOOR

24 HRS - ACCESS - WHAT A

WEIRDO - KEEP - A SECRET

BUT - NOT - IN - TOKYO FOR

VAGINAL - AREA - PROBE

SHOWS - THE - POSITIONS

69 - USED - BY - BLK - AND

HISPANICS - THE - SIZE - OF

ERECTION - THOROUGHLY 2

PROVE - MARRYING - NOT A

VIRGIN - JESUS - IS - LORD

SAW - JEWEL - TWICE - AT

MAIN - LIBRARY - ELEVATOR

HE - KNOWS - I'M - PARTIALLY

BLIND - TOUCHED - MY BACK

UNDER - BRA - AREA - ITS YES

ILLEGAL - 2 - TOUCH - CASUAL

55 AND OLDER - GOING - 2 DIE

LAST - WILL - AND TESTAMENT

HE - KNOWS - MY - NO - US $$$

OVER - $199 BILLION - FREE

INTEREST - BEARING - USE

CEMENT - FLOOR - 2 MAKE

TRAUMA - BLIND - MORE THAN

1 YEAR - F - F - F - AFTER - HRS

BOX VAULT - SELF - STORAGE

HE's - IN - CHARGE - OF - HER

NOW - OVER - $155 BILLION

AUTO - TAX - PAID - TOLD HIM

NO - BLKS - IN - PHILIPPINES

HE - WILL - CHANGE - THAT

BUT - THEY - KNOW - MICHAEL

JACKSON - BEYONCE - MORE

2ND - TIME - TODAY - WAS YES

GOING - 2 - TOUCH - ME - BUT

ANOTHER - MALE - THERE

AGAIN - 'ARE - U - OKAY?'

HISPANIC - BLK - LOOKING

MALE - HUSBAND - OF LISA

WHITE - PRUNE - BAG - SAME

'ARE - U - OIKAY - EVERYDAY'

THEY - ASK - WOMEN SOLE

HOUSEHOLD - TOLD - HIM

'ALL 0F - U - ARE THE SAME'

(BLKS - HISPANICS)

(HOMELESS - OR - NOT)

EVERYDAY - ASKS

'ARE - U - OK'

WHY - SHOULDN'T - I - BE

ACTUALLY - TORTURE - ABUSE

HARRASSMENT - (FELONIES)

'WHY - SHOULDN'T - I B - OK?"

LEFT - ANGRILY - THE - YES

ELEVATOR - JEWEL - ALWAYS

NOW - STALKING - ME KNOWS

I - WAS - BORN - VERY - BLIND

CARROT - DEFICIENCY - TRUE

OBEYED - DOCTORS - NOW I'M

PARTIALLY - BLIND - NOW - HE

IS - WAITING - 4 - ME - 2 - YES

ENTER - LIBRARY - 2 - TOUCH

ME - THEY - HISPANICS - AND

BLK - LOVE - 2 - TOUCH - YES

BARBIE - BLONDES - THAT

WAY - 'FIST - 2 - FIST' - SO I

WILL - GIVE - WHAT - I YES

GAVE - A - FIREMAN - DO U

REMEMBER - DIDN'T - WANT

2 - TALK - 2 - ME - NEAR YES

HOTEL - INDIGO - AXES AXES

DEMOCRATIC - PARTY - WILL

REMOVE - THEIR - AX - FOR

UNDER - POSSESSION - OF

DEADLY - WEAPON - S CA

CALIFORNIA - BICYCLE YES

RIDER - CHINESE - GIRL AS

BORN - IN - CALIFORNIA &

PUBLIC - SCHOOL - SHE TOOK

COLDS - MED - AS - BIRTH YES

CONTROL - PILLS - USER AND

A - VIRGIN - PAPS SMEAR NOT

4 - VIRGINS - SO - SHE WHILE

DRIVING - FAINTED - SO - AS

CAR - HT - TREE - SLEEPING

FIREMEN - SAW - 'STUPID'

SMALL - EYES - CHINESE

GIRL - AND - COULD NOT

REMOVE - FR - CAR - AND

WITHOUT - ROOF - 4 - CAN

B - RESCUED - SOONER SO

THEY - GOT - THEIR - AXES

CHOPPED - HER - THIGHS

BROUGHT - 2 - U CLA - AT

LEAST - GREEN - PAINT

EMERGENCY - AREA AS

THEY - TOOK - STATE - CA

MANDATORY - 30 MIN XO

LUNCH - SO - WHEN SHE

WOKE - UP - HOSPITAL 2

FELT - STRANGE - BELOW

SAW - SHOCKING - THAT

NO - MORE - FULL LEGS

JESUS - IS - LORD - FOR

HOT - STILL - TV SHOWS

'BIONIC - MAN' - LEE MAJORS

'BIONIC - WOMAN' - LINDSAY

WAGNER - BOTH - IN - TRUE

HALLMARK - MOVIES - YES

ROMANCE - ABOUT - DOGS

VETERINARIAN ( s ) - THUS

FUTURE - REPLACING HER

WITH - BIONIC - LEGS AND

GIVING - HIPNOSIS - 4 - IN

NEW YORK - ASTORIA THERE

WAS - A - FIRE - 3 BUILDINGS

AWAY - ELEVATOR - OPENED

FIREMEN - RUSHED - IN AND

MY - SUADE - DESIGNER BLK

COAT - HEAVY - OVER $2,000

MY - PHILIPPINE - ADOPTED

MOM - GAVE - ME - THEY

WENT - BEHIND - ME AND

SHOVED - MY - BACK - FR

ELEVATOR - 2 - OUTSIDE

THEY - ALL - SAID - ITS THE

LAW - THEY'RE - FIREMEN

SO SMILED - PAW PAW - MY

PAW - BRUCE LEE - AGE 32

GOT - GENTLY - ONE - AX &

SLICED - THEN - CUT - ALL

2 - PIECES - KILLED - ALL IN

ELEVATOR - TOOK - STAIRS

AFTER - 4 - CONCIERGE YES

ALLOWED - THEM - IN - THE

SAME - WHO - TOLD - ME NY

5:30P - CAN'T - BRING - MY

THINGS - WEIRDO - ISRAEL

MOVERS - 3 HRS - LATE - 2

BAD - NEWS - IN - NEW YORK

NOT - ALLOWED - BACK - IN

ROOSEVELT - ISLAND - NYC

NOW - PENTHOUSE - AND I

NOT - ALLOWED - IN - INNS

WAS - REMOVED - FR - THERE

BECAUSE - HER - HUSBAND

PINOY - ADOPTED - FATHER

HIS - ERECTION - STRONG - SO

THEIR - ALL - THE - WAY - WAS

SUPERB - BUT - SHE - CHANGED

MIND - THEN - WHEN - THEY YES

WENT - 2 - EUROPE - HE STAYED

2 - KNOCK - ME - UP - NYC - NY

BEFRIENDED - CONCIERGE

MALE - CHARLIE - HE SAID

WON'T - HAPPEN - ADOPTED

INCEST - SAN FRANCISCO YES

AGAIN - THEY - GET - THEIR

KIDS - PREGNANT - PILIPINAS

OR - OVERSEAS - 2 - SELL THE

BABIES - HUSBAND - WIFE AS

THEY - RAPE - THEIR - FIRST

1ST BORN - DAUGHTERS AS

NOW - I - KNOW - CHRISTIANS

UNIVERSITY - OF - PILIPINAS

THEY - WERE - RAPING - MY

PERSONAL - MAID - MAIDS

SHE - LESBIAN - WAS - YES

RAPING - MY - MAIDS BUT

THEY - STAYED - BECAUSE

OF - ME - SO - SHE - DIED

FIRST - MAJOR - HEART

ATTACK - HE - NOW - IN

CALAPAN - ORIENTAL - OR

MINDORO - WITH - FRENCH

SABER - SWORD - I - WILL PH

TAKE - CARE - OF - HIS BODY

PIECES - AFTER - AND - WITH

MICKEY MOUSE - WATCH

AIR - CREMATE - BODY AS

SECRET - NEW - OWNER OF

MAKATI - AND - MINDORO

ISLAND - SO - I'M - NOW 2

HUNGRY - SUSHI - $5 - AT

PUBLIX - EXIT - 10 ST - AT

PROMENADE - ALSO - AT

FREE - METROMOVER TRAIN

911 - 9 ST - PUBLIX - SELF YES

SERVICE - 2 - GET - FOOD XO

GOT - LOTS - 2 - POST - YES

TODAY - ABOUT - BLK - AND

HISPANIC - STALKERS - NOW

BLK - MALE - JEWEL - AS HE

THINKS - HE - CAN - KISS MY

I'M REALLY - AGE 59 MOUTH

WAS - ONLY - RAPED - BY

OVER - 25 WHITE AMERICAN

UGLY - MALES - B 4 - AGE 21

TALL - BRUNETTE - MALES &

SINGLE - MIAMI - POLICE YES

SECRETLY - LOVE - HOMELESS

THEY - KNOW - OUTSIDE - HAI

ADDRESS - AS - WE - RELEASE

OUR - ROBOTS - 2 - END THEIR

USA - TORTURE - AND ABUSE

FOREIGNERS - DO - U - KNOW

THEIR - HARRASSING - US - 4

WE - ENJOYED - OUR

DOMESTIC - TRANQUILITY

POLICE - SHERIFFS - ILLEGAL

TAX - PAID

MILITARY - FORCE - ADD - ON

FINEST - MILITARY - WEAPONS

SMALLEST - BULLETS - INDEED

ONLY - ALLOWED - TAX - PAID 2

WHAT's - IT - LIKE - 2 - HAVE

24 HRS

LESS THAN - TIC TAC - SIZE

WALT DISNEY - SIGNATURE

LIMITED EDITION - BULLETS

TAX - QUALIFIED

ILLEGAL - CIVILIAN - SIZE

AMMUNITION - BY - THE

SERVANTS - OF - STATE

14TH - NO - US - STATE CAN

DEPRIVE - ANY - PERSON OF

LIFE - REVISED - UNLESS

'REQUIRED - BY - JUDICIAL'

FORGOT WORDS SO ABLE2 - EXECUTE - REPOSSESS AND EVICT - ILLEGAL - PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS - WILL - CONTINUE

[autisticlancemcclain]

“Um, based on what I know about your relationship — y’all are a smidge too competitive, methinks — I wouldn’t go to an arcade with Lance unless you want to be violently humbled.”

“What? Why?” Keith asked.

Hunk gave him a deadpan look, brows raised and face excessively judgemental. “There are four types of games in an arcade: shooting, reaction, luck, and dance. I don’t need to explain Lance’s success in shooting games, you’ve seen him shoot through the eye of a needle. And no one processes shit faster than he does, so reaction games are easy for him. Luck games are also easy for him because he has no qualms about cheating for profit. And uh,” he glanced at Keith, smirking. “I’ve seen your search history, dude. You’ve contributed to at least half of the views for Lance’s Coalition show. You know he can dance.”

Keith’s face flamed, and he punched the Yellow Paladin in the arm. “Why are you looking at my search history?!” he demanded.

Hunk snickered, unhurt and unapologetic. “Because it’s embarrassing,” he taunted. “My personal favourite was the time you searched ‘pretty boy smile makes heart too fast??’ I got a good giggle out of that one.”

“Shut up!”

“Oooh, I also loved all twelve times you googled ‘lance mcclain shirtless dance pose’. Yeah, that one’s good.”

Keith had given up trying to stop him now, and just slammed his head onto the table, burying his bright red face in his arms.

“Oh, hey, are we roasting Keith?” came Pidge’s voice from the doorway.

Keith let out a loud groan.

“Yep!” Hunk replied cheerily. “Specifically his humiliating search history.”

“Oh, like the time he searched if your brain could overdose on oxytocin the day Lance called him Samurai the first time?”

“Please stop,” Keith begged as the two of them cackled. “I came here to ask one question. One. I don’t deserve this slander!”

“Dude, yesterday in training Lance choked you out with his legs and you couldn’t form a sentence for three hours. You deserve this and more.”

[yanderepalace]

Yandere Natsuki noncon oneshot

word count: 1k+

warnings: noncon fingering, bullying, physical mistreatment, afab reader, reader is wearing a skirt, degrading, humiliation, forced public?

notes: some of the lines are based of this audio but I don’t know the original name. Also Natsuki and reader are both adults

“Who said you could show your ugly face here again?”

The high pitched insult rang inside your skull as the back of your head made a collision with the wall. You shut your eyes in pain as your annoyance grew.

“Natsuki, cut it out!” you growled.

Despite all her torment and outright sadistic bullying you’d never gotten physical with her. With the small women being so much shorter and smaller than most her age you didn’t want to stand an unfair advantage. Unfortunately for you, that meant you just took it all without question.

With a quick motion, Natsuki’s foot met your leg with enough force to leave you stumbling to the ground, your book bag spilling its contents as you watch in defeat. “God, you’re pathetic!” She threw her head back laughing arrogantly at your expense. “What’s the matter? Too afraid to hit a girl back?” The childish taunt left her lips with that same smirk.

You took a deep breath shutting your eyes and scooting up til your back is against the wall. You go to gather your belongings from the dirty university hallway floor, reaching your hand out but you felt your body ache from Natsuki’s abuse. Her foot met your skin as she stepped on your hand before you could grab your textbooks. You looked up from your hand squished under her heel. The view of the smaller girl standing oh so proudly over you with a look of faux superiority, her gaze looking straight into you in a sadistic manner.

You thought back to those late nights you would lie awake, dreading the next day because you knew what your pink haired tormentor had in store for you when you awoke. All those google searches and wikihow articles of how to deal with bullies, how to stand up for yourself. Just imagining what Natsuki would do to you if she found your search history. You cringed at the thought.

All that you could realistically do to protect yourself is to ignore her to the best of your abilities when she got like this. Pulling out the most believable poker face you could muster through the pain as you pulled your hand from under her oppression.

Although her expression appeared shocked at first, it soon went back to her normal. “Come on, pussy.” She sized you up with her eyes “Hit me, bet you won’t!” You continued to ignore her, clearly trying to get a rise out of you.

Leaned against the back wall, you’ve been fed up with Natsuki. You lifted you head up looking at the ceiling in defeat. From this angle you realized you could see right up Natsuki’s skirt, sitting below her. You could only catch a glimpse of her pink panties before you felt your face turn beet red. Was it embarrassing? Arousal? You forced yourself to look down so she wouldn’t see.

All of a sudden, Natsuki’s high-pitched words met your ears once again, “Were you looking up my skirt?” This time with an offended and slightly embarrassed tone. “You pervert!” Her hands clutched her skirt in embarrassment as she took a step back.

You found yourself even more embarrassed than before, keeping you head down. Natsuki was unpredictable, you didn’t want to know what she would do next. That was until you heard her snicker. She was going to tease you again, of course. “I knew it!” The pink haired girl raised her voice. “So you are a pervert who get their rocks off from being bullied and looking under girl’s skirts!” She mocked. “How disgusting!” Your reaction to her teasing only made her laugh harder.

You kept your head down, not making eye contact but Natsuki could tell your entire body was trembling from the humiliation. Why did you have to look there? Why couldn’t you look away in time?

“I guess I have no choice but to bully you even more.” An evil grin contorted her seemingly innocent face.

Natsuki’s shoe was stomped onto your crotch before you had time to think.

“I bet you like this too.” Her heal dug into your clothes “Does this make your perverted little heart flutter?”

“I should probably punish you for being so gross, or maybe I should punish you by making you give in to such lewd desires.”

Natsuki giggled quietly to herself as she lowered herself to the ground where you lay and snuck her hand underneath your skirt. “I bet your panties are soaked with all the perverted thoughts going through your head.”

The view of Natsuki leaning over you with such a dominant aura, even with her small statue you couldn’t help but tremble. You couldn’t tell if it was fear or sometime more.

“Na-Natsuki wait!” The words you spoke shook, just like your body was.

You assumed the tsundere ignored you, her hands were rough, forcing there way to your wet core.

“I knew it!” Natsuki rubbed her fingers against you. “You are wet! Why don’t you just admit it now, you’re just a gross pervert aren’t you.”

All you could do is whimper in response. You wanted to push her away and get up but you’ve never been so humiliated in your life. Natsuki always had a knack for knowing exactly what buttons to press to make you squirm.

“Please, not here.” You said each word meticulously to assure Natsuki had nothing to make fun of you for. You wanted to be taken seriously.

Natsuki seemed carefree as she began sliding her fingers in and out, quietly humming to herself like it was the most normal thing in the world.

You’re face was red and hot to the touch, feeling so powerless to the likes of such a shorter women.

As if Natsuki could read your mind, she met your gaze to continue her teasing.

“You know I may be smaller than you but let’s not forget who’s actually in charge here.”

You imagined possibilities of escaping from down under her, and what kind of backlash you would have to deal with from her tomorrow. Not only physically trapped but mentally as well. You clenched your eyes in defeat.

“Look at your lewd face! Pervert! Pervert!”

Each word her fingers roughly collided with your entrance which was now dripping with your wetness, making a erotic sloshing sound. Holding back your moans was hard enough, despite the less than consensual situation. Your hand raised to your mouth to hold back the explicit notices escaping from your throat.

Natsuki leaning over you with her hand up your skirt, your legs spread wide open to her delight. A wide grin on her evil veneer while yours was begging for mercy.

The kind of image someone was stumble filled your stomach with dread. Praying no one would hear the sound of your arousal.

“What a compromising position you’re in y/n.” Her not so innocent-innocent tone returning.

“What else should I do with you, I wonder.”

As if she already knew the answer, she giggled.

[peachyunjinnie]

stray kids reaction:

their s/o reads/writes skz smuts.

requested: yes

a/n: this is just such a random request so i wanna do it! enjoy!

word count: 1.1k

chan

he will definitely be shook at first

seeing your open tab on your laptop when you left it open accidentally

his curiosity was just getting too big as he saw his own gif on the page

it was not his style at all but channie just had to know what that was

he read the title and saw a unfamiliar word on it

he is so confused what that all means but once he is reading the file he understands what you were doing on your computer all day long

he smiles but is so so shy

this boy's ears can be a redlight at a traffic

he is so flustered but he won't approach you about it

but makes sneaky comments when you're on your computer again

"enjoying what you're reading?"

"i wonder what you're doing on this site, little one."

"needy again?"

he will not make it a lot until you ask him what he is talking about

but he will rather show you what these fictional stories have in them instead of you reading it

minho

minho will be so so obvious about it

he will just not be hiding the fact that he saw what you're reading from his laptop

he was okay with you borrowing his laptop

but you didn't delete the history from your dirty little enouter to smuts

he won't tell you straightforward but as well make more obvious comments

that you immediately know that he knows

he will have so much fun with your flustered face

smirking like the cocky dom he is

just seeing the shade of your face changing into the whole rainbow

"i know i am hot but why won't you do that with me? i am here and i am all yours, y/n."

he will just ask you that but won't wait for your answer and just pull you into the bedroom

to fulfill your imagination about lee know.

changbin

changbinnie

ah changbinnie

he is such a softie for you

i don't really think he would say anything at all

he is just way too shy about it

just giggles when he reads through the smuts that you put in your library

changbin would just kind of enjoy reading those stories as well

just admiring the talent some writers have (!!)

kind of getting overly confident about how these writers write about his size

but other than that he wouldn't dare to tell you and just continue to live like always

you notice a change about how he is in bed

"changbin, you usually never do this. how come you changed so much?"

"i just got a better knowledge now, babygirl."

he learned a lot about those stories and how to step up his thrust game

but you can just enjoy it without knowing that he knows what you do on your phone

hyunjin

another man of curiosity

he was scrolling through his twitter stuff and noticed that he was still logged in as you

he wanted to change it but a hasthag that you typed in before catched his eye

'stray kids smuts'

he would lie if he said that he wasn't dying of curiosity

so he just searched it and oh god he was shocked on how much stuff you've liked and saved

he found one you've written yourself in your drafts

he was pleased to see his own name but he was hard from your piece of work

as soon as you came home again he was all over you and wanted

to do what your wrote about write now

"babe, you have such a dirty mind."

"i read your twitter stuff and damn, i want that right now."

jisung

jisung is a cocky dude

your misery and discomfort is his fun and amusement

he saw it on his google history and when i tell you

this man will HUMILIATE you SO hard

he will make jokes

"aww you need me so much, you even read about my cock."

"do you touch yourself while reading this? mh?"

"you're so cute, even though i fuck you more than enough. my kitten needs more."

he would make you so turned on and hot that you are basically dripping in front of him

he takes you to his bedroom and brings those stories to action

felix

lixie is so giggly

he finds it so cute that you would do this

that you would read something like this

when you could have him all day, everyday

he would be so turned on tho

like at the same exact time

he would love your dirty little secret

which is not really a secret anymore

he will ask you what that was tho

but like in a cute way

while hugging you or something

"i know your little secret, Y/N." he would whisper and giggle so hard

you are just as confused as he was when discovering your tabs full of 'stuff'

"what do you mean, felix..?" you had a bit of a bitter taste in your mouth

and you kind of knew what he was talking about

"come on, you know. the stuff you read about me."

"you know i would much rather do that instead of you reading those scenarios and imagining those things."

with that sentence he would just make the smuts into reality

seungmin

dude he would he such a little shit about it

he would just freaking tease you ALL DAY LONG

he really reminds me of minho

just those comments and 'mean' playful remarks

"like it when you read?"

"you aren't as innocent as i thought"

"you horny little kitty cat."

he is obvious but just stares somewhere else or just puts his concentrated eyes on something else

he is smirking but he won't touch you in any type of way

before you would confess about those books you were writing on your laptop

"seungmin come cuddle with me!"

"not until you tell me"

"tell you what?"

"you know what i mean"

that would go on until his neediness and yearning for you was too much

and literally is all over you

but he is still salty that you didn't tell him what you wanted with him

jeongin

A BIG SHY BABIE

he would he so so shocked when he saw the app you downloaded

but your iclould stuff was connected with each other

so whatever you download, also download on innies phone

so you downloaded wattpad and he was so curious about what that is

he just scrolled through the many books and discovered your wattpad account

jeongin deadass would read through the whole works and then just have the reddest face possible

he would never ever open his mouth about that topic

ever

he deletes the app and oppresses this memory in his brain

never happened and never talked about again

[lostkrbkaccount]

Tw: irl masturbation, humiliation, bad parenting, ranting///////

So when I was a teen about 13 years old, I started to explore my body like any other hormonal teenager. I was curious about masturbation so I Googled so many questions on what it is and how to do it. I forgot to clear my history, well at the time I didn't know how and I didn't know my mother could see it either. So I thought nobody would ever find out and boy was I wrong.

One day my mum called me downstairs and then read out my search history to me. "What is masturbation?" "What is an orgasm?" "How to masturbate, for girls." "How to finger yourself." Ect ect, and I was so embarrassed.

The worst part is that she shamed me for it all. Said I was too young to be searching those things. Said I shouldn't be sexually active or masturbate. Said it was a disgusting act and not very lady like.

I hate looking back on that because I did nothing wrong. My mum shouldn't have spoken to me like that. What I was going through was very much natural.

If I ever found out my kid was masturbating and using the internet to ask questions. I would simply talk to them. Tell them it's okay to ask me any questions and if they don't feel comfy enough use incognito mode. Tell them to clear their history. Then again I wouldn't go snooping on my kids devices like my mother did. I certainly wouldn't shame them for wanting to masturbate. Masturbation feels good and it's natural. Really good for your health too.

What's even worse tho is that mother, to this day, still tells everyone about my past. About my sexual desires and my search history. Tell even one that I was a porn addict. I'm not, I rarely watch porn. There's nothing wrong with it, just not my forté.

Anyway, respect your kids privacy and don't shame them for being curious about masturbation. We should be teaching them these thing when they ask about it. Teach them to be safe.

-King Queenie xx

[kendrixtermina]

Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from

Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched

In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.

Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.

Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure

Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.

Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.

If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.

Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.

All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.

Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.

This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.

My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.

Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.

Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.

Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.

And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.

The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.

And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.

Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me

That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"

Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it

He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!

But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.

No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?

Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.

And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.

I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.

I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.

Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves

Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.

Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...

Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...

my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.

But that all started because of my ex fiance.

He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.

And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.

Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.

I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.

Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.

By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.

And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.

When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.

And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.

I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.

I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.

But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.

So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.

Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. 🤦‍♀️

I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.

I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.

[fantasyfandommaiden]

ML Counsellor AU: Audrey Bourgeois session

Carmine was was just trying to enjoy her day off when Audrey decided to intrupted her lunch, trying to either one up Carmine or insult her, she isn’t sure. What Audrey doesn’t expect is to get chewed out for her terrible parenting style and her even worse personality by the usually calm and collective school Counsellor.

(Post Style Queen And Queen Wasp)

Carmine was having a spectacular day off. She had woken up early and finished some cleaning around the apartment, than had finished the prep work for a very nice dinner later that evening. She was now in one of her favourite cafe, sitting at her favourite table (outside near one of the trees for some shade, but close enough she could smell the baked goods inside). 

She was currently waiting for her sandwich and soup to arrive as she typed away at her laptop, working on some writing. She paused for a moment to have a sip of tea (not as good as hers but it would due), letting out a soft sigh. Today was just plain blissful.

She heard a slight scoff and someone pull out the chair opposite of her from the table before said person sat down, causing Carmine to look up to see who was joining her only to see one Audrey Bourgeois. Suddenly, her prefect day was anything but.

Carmine looked at the blonde woman for a solid ten seconds with a neutral face before looking back at her laptop, typing away.

Audrey drummed her fingers against the table, starring straight at Carmine for another thirty seconds before breaking the silence.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Your the one who sat down at my table Madame.” Carmine replied in a bored, even tone, continuing to type and not bothering to look up from her screen.

Audrey continued to look at her, before bringing others her phone and beginning to read what was on it. “‘May your hair turn as grey and course as that of a goat and your eyes continue to look like that of a dead fish.’ ‘May you sag in all the weird places, and shirk to the size of a toddler’, ‘I hope you sleep with a fish.’” She looked at Carmine who continued to type “These, apparently, were just some of the things you said to me at Gabriel’s fashion show three days ago.”

“The literal translation loses some of its whimsy when translated to French, its much more insulting in Yueh.” Carmine stated simply as she continued to type, not looking at the woman at all.

Audrey let out a loud ‘huff’ “Didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to not look at someone when they are talking to you?”

Carmine stopped typing, looking up from her laptop screen so she stared Audrey straight in the eyes “... didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to insult your daughter in front of all of her classmates while it’s being televised on national television?” She asked back sharply, her voice dripping with venom.

Most would have missed the way Audrey’s lips tightened slightly in guilt, but not Carmine.

“If you want to talk about me being rude, I will gladly discuss your own behaviour as well.” Carmine stated simply to the blonde woman, saving the file she was working on before closing the laptop to look at Audrey.

Audrey looked straight at Carmine through her sunglasses, her fingers still drumming against the table as the two woman had a stare down. “... it has come to my attention that my daughter has been seeing you for ‘counselling’.”

Carmine did not say anything, continuing to look at Audrey, from her face to her hands, noticing and noting ever fidget, tick and micro expression the woman was showing. The more she observed the more she found that although Audrey was indeed annoyed and maybe even a bit angry, she was no where near as furious as she was attempting to portray.

“I understand she has been... attempting to became a ‘better person’.” Audrey continued. Carmine simply raised a brow with her deadpanned expression still on her face, not saying anything.

“... oh will you say SOMETHING!” Audrey groaned, looking at Carmine with a bored expression. “My daughter hasn’t spoken to and even attempted to speak to me since that event! I know she has spoken to you well she has been at school!”

“Think it has anything to do with being publicily humiliated on national televison?” Carmine asked sarcastically, picking up her tea cup and sipping it. “Or possibly you suddenly appearing in her life again after being away for so many years without so much as a word? Or that you keep getting your own daughters name wrong, repeatedly I might add.”

Audrey rolled her eyes, seeming not caring at all about Carmine’s insults at All, her lack of empathy annoying Carmine but she remained calm, looking at the blonde fashion critic with an almost bored expression as she spoke again “What do you want Madame Bourgeois, If you wanted an apology you would have started by demanding one and than threatening to fire me when I refused.”

Audrey looked at her “... your making her weak.”

Carmine blinked, confused “... excuse me?”

“Chloe, your making her weak. From what I was hearing from before the summer she was a queen bee, she had everyone in the school and hotel wrapped around her finger. She was able to control a situation with ease, and handle everything with an ironed, well manicured, fist.” Audrey stated, looking straight at Carmine, her tone conveying slight annoyance “Now she is taking a back seat, She is letting others tell her what to do, letting others walk all over her, her grades are falling behind, she isn’t even class president for heavens sake! So when I ask my idiot of a husband what happened, he said that after she was Akumatized she was required to see you, and she didn’t stop.” She looked at Carmine with a mild glare that held no heat to it “You’ve made my daughter a push over.”

Carmine looked at Audrey for a few moments with a very unamused expression on her face, before shaking her head “You And I both know that’s not true.” She said as Audrey fumed “Your not mad at me because of that, at least not in the way your saying.”

“Oh, a psychologist telling me how I feel, how rich. Tell me what your three psychology degrees say about me.” Audrey stated in a bored tone.

“They tell me quite a bit, as well as your body language.” Carmine said, placing her tea cup down “For starters, you keep tabs on your daughter, otherwise you wouldn’t have known about all the changes that have occurred since Hawkmoth’s first appearance. Your upset that your daughter isn’t a queen bee anymore, but I don’t think it’s because she isn’t in charge anymore.” Carmine looked at Audrey, her expression softening slightly “... I think your worried that your daughter may have lost some of her back bone in her attempts to become a nicer person, which is ridiculous. If anything it has made her stronger as a person.”

Audrey became eerily quiet, her fingers stopped drumming against the table as she looked at Carmine “No one ever made it in history by being ‘nice’. Chloe was taught at a young age you need to fight for what you want, and to get it by any means necessary. You need to fight by any means, to use any tactic to get what you want. You would know that what with your credentials.” She stated snapping her fingers. A butler came out of nowhere and handed on the blonde woman the file. Carmine noticed her name on the file and felt her body tense up, and she somehow managed to keep her face neutral.

“Carmine Regal, born in Canada but traveled a lot due to your families work, eventually stopping to live in New Orleans, where you lived until you were 19 years old and you came over to Paris to study aboard. After you graduated with three phd’s in psychology and one in ancient history you applied for a duel citizenship, to which you received, and had a private practice until Hawkmoth appeared, to which you agreed to become the school Counsellor. You’ve written a children’s book and are currently working on your next one, at least according to your publisher you are. Your most notable aqquantances are Gabriel’s assistant Nathalie Sancour, investigating reporter Blaine Bishop, as well as several other notable people who I don’t feel a need to mention.” She snapped the file closed, looking at Carmine. “There’s more, but it’s unimportant, I did however find out about your family history, or lack there of.”

Carmine looked at the file that was in the blonde woman’s hand, before looking back at Audrey. “... a quick google search can tell you most of that, as well as my Facebook. I’ll have to remember to put that to private after this.” She said not taking her eyes off Audrey “Was this suppose to prove a point, or scare me? I don’t really have anything that you can blackmail me with.” She stated in a nonchalant tone.

Audrey looked at Carmine with a neutral expression, a crack of a smile on her face forming, almost a complete change from the beginning of the conversation. “... you know what I appreciate more than fashion, Mlle Regal?” She asked simply as a waiter brought over a glass of water with a slice of lime in the water and a lemon wedge on the rim, than promptly ran away quickly. “People who are hard working, who don’t get scared or intimidated easily. Who forge their own accomplishments and say ‘fuck you’ to those who try to stand in their way. People like you.”

She took a sip of her water and let out a soft groan “Like my fool of a husband USE to be. I believe in hard work and that the world doesn’t give you handouts, and when I try to teach Chloe that? ‘Daddy’ goes behind my back and gives the girl what she wants anyways, making her spoiled. I became so fed up I ended up leaving for New York.” She stated “I admit that perhaps it was a bit of over kill to get back at my husband, but I thought it would help. I’m acting just like my mother did to me and I turned out fine. If only Chloe saw I was doing this for her own good, but like I said she won’t come to see me at all like she use to-“

“I’m going to stop you there.” Carmine said suddenly, looking at the woman dead in the eyes with a cold stare “Just because your mother treated you like shit and you somehow turned out ‘alright’ DOES NOT mean that it will work on another child. Children need equal amounts of encouragement and discipline in order for them to grow into functional members of society, not for their parent to up and leave them because they don’t like how their partner is handling the child rearing.”

“Secondly, continuing to insult, belittle, neglect, or humiliate children at any age has been PROVEN to cause long term, sometimes life long anxiety and social problems, even depression. I would know because I co-wrote a thesis on the matter for my final grade in university. If it weren’t for the fact that André completely dots on Chloe, albeit a bit too much, she would not be as stable as she is right now.” She said in a somewhat heated tone “And also, children will always try to play their parents against each other, it’s up to the parents to be a team in order for it not to happen.”

Audrey continued to look at Carmine, as she took another breath to speak “If YOU want to talk to Chloe, than YOU need to make the effort to see her, and speak to her. For some strange reason I can not comprehend, she values your option very highly, and what you said three days ago? About the only thing that was ‘extraordinary’ about her was having you as a mother? That nearly destroyed her.” She all but growled “If you want to talk to Chloe I can’t stop you, it you better make DAMN sure whatever you have to say to that girl is positive because I will be damned if I let all of her hard over the past several months to become a better person be thrown down the drain by someone who isn’t going to care about her!”

Carmine was nearly panting after her rant, glaring at Audrey with a look at could freeze hell over. The two woman had a stare down, the cafe around them quiet, as if everyone wanted to see who would look away first.

Audrey was the first, looking down at her drink, picking it up to sip from it again “Your a poor example of a psychologist, I thought you were suppose to remain ‘distant’ and ‘not get too attached’.” She said mockingly.

Carmine took another deep breath, slowly exhaling through her nose “I am a counsellor right now, it’s my job to care about what happens to these kids.” She stated back “Just like how it was your job to look after, care and nurture for Chloe. And since you have failed at that job, it will be Chloe’s decision on whether or not she wishes to speak to you, not mine, not your husbands, and not yours.”

Audrey glared at Carmine and pointed straight at her “You can’t talk, your not even a parent.”

Carmine looked back at her with a neutral expression “No, but I am one hell of an example of a decent human being.” Her expression than turned coy as she asked in a sweet, venomous voice “Can the same be said for you, Madame?”

Audrey let out a low growl before standing up “I would watch your tone, I have a lot of influence in this city.” Audrey said

“True, you do. But I have my fair share of influence as well.” She said sipping her team looking at Audrey before letting out a soft sigh, “... and if you decide to ever become a decent human being, my door is open.” Carmine said half heartedly. She may not like the woman, but she had a personal code that didn’t allow her to turn down someone if they needed it, and boy did she need help.

Audrey turned up her nose and walked away without giving her a second look, the butler however, Chloe’s butler from what Carmine could remember, looked at her. “... do you have a card, Mlle?” He asked her softly “For the Madame.”

Carmine wordlessly handed him one as the butler quickly caught up with Audrey. Finally, she could enjoy her lunch in piece.... than she heard screaming, great an Akuma attack and she still had yet to receive her lunch. Day ruined.

[mendespideys]

the intern ▿ pt. II

Summary: you’re finishing your last year of university in london, and what better way do to that than with an internship at holland and osterfield’s? 

Warnings: mention of sex, some embarrassment? i think that’s it

Words: 1.7k+

a/n: i’m sorry this took awhile. i’m also sorry it’s short and really bad. i promise it will get better with the next chapter 

series masterlist

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Balancing the three cups of steaming Earl Grey, you enter through the same revolving doors you had entered through three days prior. As you do so, the clicking of high heels against tile and constant murmur of people talking greets you. This time, you are early enough to admire the beautiful architecture of the big hall. 

The foyer is modern, and it is easy to understand that the two heads of the company are on the younger side. The same young woman is seated behind the welcome desk, but she doesn’t smile at you this time, focusing her eyes on the screen in front of her. 

You head toward the elevator, deciding that would be the safest route to the fourth story with three cups of hot tea in your hands. The metal doors slide apart, and you step inside not having time to push the designated button before you hear someone call out to hold the elevator. 

Harrison Osterfield slips inside just as the door closes. You only know it’s him because you recognize him from the pictures you had found online. After your quite humiliating interview with Tom on Friday, you had gone straight home to Google the two men behind the success. You found more information than you bargained for. 

“What floor?” 

You look up, not realizing you had been lost in your thoughts. “Oh, uh, fourth, please,” you mumble, unsure if you should introduce yourself or not. 

“Hey, you’re Ms. Y/L/N, right? I’m Harrison Osterfield,” he extends his hand, biting his bottom lip when he realizes your hands are full. “Tom told me all about you.” 

Your eyes widen involuntarily. What had Tom told him? Did he know you and Tom had slept together the night before your interview? You inwardly scold yourself, already feeling your cheeks heat up. You nod to confirm his assumption. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Osterfield. I hope he only told you the good things,” you smile, composing yourself. “Here. I brought you a tea. I wasn’t sure how you liked it, so I left it plain.” 

Harrison grins, happily taking one of the teas from the tray on your hand. He brings it closer to his face, inhaling the steam escaping through the lid. You follow his movements closely without realizing. His captivating blue eyes meet yours, and you can’t make yourself look away. 

“Mm,” he hums, his lips curving into a smirk. “Earl Grey. My favorite.” 

The elevator comes to a stop and the doors open with a ding. Harrison holds his arm out, motioning for you to exit first. With a grateful smile, you walk out, your heels clicking against the grey ceramic tiles. He follows you out, telling you to walk with him. You comply. 

“Your company is very impressive, Mr. Osterfield,” you compliment, struggling to keep up with the man’s long strides. 

“Please, call me Harrison. I know I’m getting older, but I’m not that old,” Harrison shoots you a smile and you can’t help but laugh. “I’m the one who’s impressed. I took a look at your portfolio and the classes you’ve taken over the weekend.”

You glance over at him and he’s already looking at you when you do. Biting your lip, you look down at your black heels, pretending to focus on where you’re stepping. You can feel the unwelcome heat spread across your cheeks, and you curse yourself for being so easily affected. 

“Thank you,” you catch yourself, a small giggle escaping you before you can stop it. “Harrison.” 

The two of you enter a larger room with five or maybe six desks, you didn’t have time to count them, too busy taking in the atmosphere. You follow Harrison toward a plain white desk against a wall. The desk faces the window and as you look outside, you realize once again how beautiful London truly is. 

“Well,” Harrison begins, raising his eyebrows. “Get comfortable, I suppose. You’ll be spending a lot of time here.”

“What do you- wait, this is mine?” 

He just nods, his lips pulling back and exposing his pearly white teeth as he smiles. Gently setting the cardboard to-go tray down on the desk, you look around your new workspace for the next six months. Maybe working here isn’t going to be so bad after all?

“One of the best views of London,” Harrison notes, watching you admire the view once again. “Of course, this has nothing against-”

“Tom’s office, I know,” you interject, catching yourself too late. “I-I mean, Mr. Holland’s office. I noticed the breathtaking view on Friday.” 

You notice a smirk growing on his lips, but he composes himself and nods with a gentle smile. It dawns on you then that they both enjoy teasing others, and you understand why they are best friends in the first place. Another picture from Google pops into your head suddenly, one of Tom and Harrison together at a club, and you quickly shake your head to make it disappear.

“Yeah, Tom’s office is pretty neat,” Harrison affirms, his eyes meeting yours once again momentarily. “He’s not here today though. Has a few meetings. I best be off. I’m expecting a call in ten minutes. If you need anything, my office is down the hall from Tom’s and to the left.”

Then, he’s gone. You plop down in the white leather chair with a sigh, staring at the faint steam escaping the two remaining cups. Well, that had been a waste of money. Harrison, at least, seemed to appreciate the gesture. Opening your laptop bag, you pull out your Macbook, setting it on the desk. It isn’t until after you have logged in with the information they had sent you that you realize you have no clue what you’re supposed to be doing. 

You contemplate your options briefly; you try to figure it out by yourself or you go to Harrison’s office to ask. You’re halfway out of your chair when your laptop beeps, signaling a new e-mail. Sitting back down, you click on the notification bubble and wait for the e-mail to load. You ignore the slight increase in your heartbeat when you notice it’s from Harrison. Realizing it’s a list of tasks, you decide to get right on it, desperate to get away from your inappropriate thoughts. 

Three hours later, you’re standing outside of the building with your phone in your hand. One of the many attractive women working with the company had informed you that it was your turn to take lunch. You take a sip of the cold tea in your hand, having been too busy to enjoy it while it was hot.

“Cece, I swear, they’re both inhumanely attractive. I get flustered just at the thought of them.”

Your best friend Cecilia hums teasingly at the other end of the receiver, and you know she’s smirking. The two of you had never met until the first day you moved into your apartment. After finding her post online about needing a roommate, you e-mailed her and the two of you quickly came to an agreement. When you knocked on the door on your first day in London, the rest was history. 

“I still can’t believe you slept with him. Out of all the men in the bar that night, he was the one you went home with.”

“Yes, I know. Just my fucking luck. I slept with my boss the day before my interview. Tom’s not even here today. I even brought him tea-”

“You brought me tea?” 

Cecilia gasps loudly at the other end, having heard the question too. You whip around, too quickly it seems, because your fingers slip, the cup of tea falling and splattering on the ground. Tom’s lips curve into a smirk, his eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. He removes them, cocking an eyebrow.

“I-I- Harrison, I mean, Mr. Osterfield told me you weren’t going to be here today,” you excuse weakly, inwardly scolding yourself as you hear your best friend’s faint giggle crackle through the phone. 

“I wasn’t,” Tom confirms, reaching up and effortlessly pulling the brown sunglasses off his face. “My meeting finished early. Besides, I figured it was best to check in on our new intern.” 

He smiles at you, almost innocently, and you swallow the frustration growing within you, figuring out it’s best not to yell at your boss on your first day of work. You merely nod, staring at the wet stain the spilled tea had left on the asphalt. 

Momentarily, the pictures you had seen while doing research pop into your head. You ignore the twinge of jealousy that comes with the various pictures of Tom with different women on his arm. There had been too many to count, and you had quickly ended your search. 

“Well, I’m fine,” you state sharply. “Actually, I better get back to work. Harrison has a few more things he needs me to do.” 

You bend down, not caring about your skirt riding up to expose more skin. Picking up the cup from the floor, you toss it into the nearby trashcan, not sparing Tom another look as you head toward the entrance. 

“Harrison, huh?” Tom’s voice comes out from behind you, slowing your movements. “Since when are you on a first name basis with my best mate?”

Turning around, you meet his eyes. He had put his sunglasses back on, but you know he’s looking at you through the lenses. Silently, you curse the universe for being so cruel toward you. It’s not enough to work with the guy had a spent a wild night with, he also enjoyed teasing you about it. 

“Since your best mate told me to,” you reply, turning back around and entering the building. 

As you trudge through the crowd of people, you briefly consider acquiring a new internship. It is only your first day after all. You quickly throw the thought away, knowing how unrealistic it is, but you desperately need to think of something other than the underlying tone of jealousy in Tom’s voice. 

He had no right to be jealous. The two of you had shared one night together, although it had been a night you won’t forget anytime soon, it was still just that; one night. You aren’t his and he isn’t yours. In any other situation, you know his envy would be flattering. 

It isn’t until you reach the elevator and reach out to press the button marked four that you realize you’re still on the phone with Cecelia. You slowly bring it up to your ear, hearing her call out your name questioningly. 

“These six months will be the death of me,” you inform her, watching as the silver doors close in front of you. “We’re going to the club on Friday.”

tagging people who told me they liked it: @chamilsanya  @spiderbiteholland @curlytoms @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @obsesivesun @hollandcentral

[so-shiny-so-chrome]

Witness: Weirdness_Unlimited

Creator name (AO3): Weirdness_Unlimited

Creator name (Tumblr): Burn-your-face-upon-the-chrome

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weirdness_Unlimited/works

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: In the Mad Max universe, anything that is completely absurd and outrageous is represented as the norm. Leather fetish gear? Oh, that's just the security guard uniform at Bartertown. Those guys over there are wearing black and white face paint? No, you're not at an ICP concert, those are War Boys, also run. Whoa, there are acrobats being flung through the air on poles attached to moving vehicles! No worries, that's just any Tuesday in Gas Town. I love this fandom because pretty much any nonsense my skull meat can come up with, as long as the mechanics of it work, I can throw it into my fics and not a single person will bat an eye. As a matter of fact, the weirder, the better. 

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: Life is gross, humans do gross things, and the environment around you could not care less about any of your moral dilemmas. I suppose you can say my style is a lack of it. I like things straight forward and I know this characteristic often weakens any aesthetic appeal to my writing. “To Love Reptiles” reads from Slit's perspective the same way a radio manual does but with a lot more cursing. I try not to make it too complicated to digest. I'd like for people to be able to fill in any blanks with their own interpretation of the situation and then move on to the next. 

Themes though, I go heavy on themes. The main theme is interpersonal relationships, coping with failure within them, and personal growth. Other themes include coping with mental illness, codependency, hunger, greed, warfare, trauma, etc.  

Q: Which of your works was the most fun to create? The most difficult? Which is your most popular? Most successful? Your favourite overall?

A: The most fun work of my own, by far, has been “To Love Reptiles.” It has also been the most popular, most successful, and my most favourite. The most difficult has been an original work with no working title. I can't give away much about this original piece but it has to do with local myths and survival in the wilderness. I quit working on the rough manuscript when my grandmother passed away several years ago. I'll be picking it up again soon. It may turn up on AO3 in the next three or four years.

Q: How do you like your wasteland? Gritty? Hopeful? Campy? Soft? Why?/

A: Gritty but hopeful, I think. The wasteland is nasty but humans need hope, right?

Q: Walk us through your creative process from idea to finished product. What's your prefered environment for creating? How do you get through rough patches?

A: Alright, so that's an interesting question with a pretty messy answer but I'll try to make it brisk.   Step 1: I start with a summary of the story as a whole with a point A (the beginning) and a point B (the end). Step 2: I break that summary down and and fill it out with events that can ferry the characters from the start of the story to the finish on a drawn timeline to keep things in chronological order. I also have note cards. I break this down further into named chapters. This can take a while. Step 3: I summarize each of those chapters to figure out if this story needs more than one installment. It depends out how the series of events land and how many minor arcs are included with the main arc/objective. Sprinkle some drama in there, scrap some unnecessary things, narrow an installment down to thirty (30) chapters at maximum. Step 4: I summarize individual scenes within the chapters and hack out important dialog. This takes weeks. There's typically between four and ten scenes per chapter. Also more note cards. Step 5: I try to flesh out one scene per day. (key word: Try) 

 I get the most writing done in the morning over coffee and before work. I usually sit at the breakfast table with my phone and spit out about 500-ish words before my husband wakes up. I'll write intermittently throughout the day. Lately I haven't been writing much because of holiday junk and winter being kind of a bummer. 

 If I'm in a rough patch, I can break though it by sitting in a room with no internet access and forcing myself to scratch out a scene or two in a notepad. Usually these notepad scribbles are so awful that they get torn out and chucked in the waste bin but the next day I'm keen to do the job right. 

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: Ambient sound, white noise, or nothing. I do listen to music and there's a lot of songs I associate with stories, fics, characters. Tove Lo is a big one for Dune. Most of the time I find that music with lyrics or a high tempo is distracting if I'm in the act of writing something but it can be a source of inspiration separately. 

Q: How do you keep track of all the details as you're writing? How do you keep details consistent in your works? How do you fact-check your writing?

A: I have a little memo pad with numbered facts that do not change at any point through the story. These are kinda the cardinal rules. I can't tell you the rules because they contain spoilers. After the “RULES” there are miscellaneous details that I'd like to remember in case they come up later. Things like birthmarks, scar placement, mannerisms, things I've hinted at without exposition that will need to be revealed later.

I fact check by googling stuff and falling down research holes for several hours until I forget what I was doing. EVENTUALLY I'll come back to writing and realize that's why there are things in my search history that probably have me on some kind of government watch list.

Q: What motivates your writing?

A: My motivation. Real talk? For AAL it's to get to a particular scene in the planned third installment. Scene thirteen in chapter seven. I know that answers exactly nothing and is weirdly specific but... yes. Other works of mine, I'm motivated by the idea that some of my ideas might entertain someone out there, even if it's just one someone then I've succeeded.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: Time management. I have a lot of hobbies and finding time for individual projects is... Hard. I made a boredom jar that lets me pick an unfinished task/project/piece at random to do whenever I'm bored so that I can stop myself from starting anything new when my apartment is already full of unfinished junk.

Q: How have you grown as a creator through your participation in the Mad Max Fandom? How has your work changed? Have you learned anything about yourself?

A: Yes. My organizational skills have improved by miles and my attention span is better focused. Grammatically my work has undergone general improvement.  

Learned anything about myself? Hmm, I learned that my opinion of what is canon and what makes good fan fiction are two completely different things. If you ask me anything specific about the Mad Max franchise you will probably get both opinions. As an example: Does Maxosa make for good fan fiction? Heck Yeah! Will canon Max Rockatansky or Furiosa ever be mentally and emotionally healed enough to actually be in a relationship? Probably not and that's okay. I can happily read Max and Furi getting cuddly and domestic and enjoy the heck out of another writer's interpretation of these two overcoming the hurdles of their respective traumas. I can do this knowing full well that Max and Furiosa probably never canonically saw each other again after the closing scene of Fury Road. I'm okay with this because that's the magic of fandom and why I love it.

Q: Which character do you relate to the most, and how does that affect your approach to that character? Is someone else your favourite to portray? How has your understanding of these characters grown through portraying them?

A: I relate to Max the most, and I think the reason I haven't yet published anything written from his perspective is because he'd be the most difficult to write without touching on my own fears and inadequacies too much. Max is not interested in being involved with the dramas of anyone else's life. He's already seen too much turmoil and had a hand in it too many times to actively seek people and their inherent problems, however, when presented with zero alternative he'll do what needs to be done and suffer though forming new attachments to very mortal people who may drop dead at any minute. He isn't comfortable with the process of forming attachments and he'd rather avoid it. He doesn't want another ghost. At least that's my interpretation of him. 

 Slit, remarkably, is my favorite to write for in spite of the fact that I don't relate to him in any way and my interpretation of his portrayal in the film is, simply put, a blunt edged euphemism for abusive relationships. He's just... a guilty pleasure to examine and write. I blame my fondness on the stunning character design and Josh Helman's energy on screen. The character says and does ridiculous things and it's just hilarious to watch Slit dig his own grave and humiliate himself. Case and point: I've got his boot! My understanding of Slit has grown through writing about him. He's probably (canonically) deeply insecure and his way of thinking very toxic and self focused. There's gotta be trauma there (I took massive creative license in that area) and a whole host of personal issues that explain his behavior, but will never excuse it. Does that make good fan fiction??? Parts of it do, the rest has to be that very human ability to grow and improve, although I don't think he'd have that opportunity in canon or accept any form of assistance... If he'd lived. 

Q: Do you ever self-insert, even accidentally?

A: I think you kind of have to self-insert to a point. Writing tends to involve exaggerating your own experiences and the imagined interactions in your own head in order to make the experiences of the characters relatable. I'd rather not examine every individual facet of the issue but yes, I think Dune is an unintentional self-insert to cope with health problems before I was consciously aware of what I was coping with and since that realization, lately, she's a lot harder to write. 

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?Honestly? Close platonic friendship. Emotional intimacy is interesting. I draw a lot of inspiration for friendship in fiction from Mulder and Scully in early seasons of The X-files.

Q: How does your work for the fandom change how you look at the source material?

A: I see more minor details and the context of silent interactions. Some of these details are unsettling, some of them are so subtle and subliminal that they're easily missed when you watch the films, especially Fury Road. Oddly enough, I'm a lot more- Ah whats the word? Not quite critical of but unnerved by my own observations of Capable's relationship with Nux. I'm not sure why. It could be that I'm misinterpreting the actress's tone or George Miller vision/direction, but I watch the movie now and find that the way Capable looks at and talks about Nux so intensely makes me uneasy. The previous is just an example among many that I've spat out so far, it's not important.

Q: Do you prefer to create in one defined chronology or do your works stand alone? Why or why not?

A: Everything I write within the Mad Max fandom with the exception of collaborative works will probably be linked together and consistent with one another because that means less to remember and fewer mix-ups.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: If you have to, break it. I'll read it. I like my fandom unlimited, baby. In my own works I try to keep with canon somewhat but I resurrect a lot of characters who almost certainly died because if I didn't, it would really only leave seven (I think) named characters with dialog who did not die in Fury Road. (The surviving women of the Many Mothers weren't named.)

Q: Share some headcanons:

A: 1) Max has intestinal parasites. He ate a live (two headed) lizard in the first thirty seconds of Fury Road. You really really really should not do that. 

 2) Furiosa didn't want to kill Ace. She could have just blown his head off instead of punching him in the face with a pistol. She didn't shoot him. 

 3) Ace did not go under the wheels. Foxy Grandpa lives. 

 4) Miss Giddy is also alive somewhere 

 5) Actually, most people in the wasteland probably have intestinal parasites. 

Q: If you work with OCs walk us through your process for creating them. Who are some of your favourites?

A: My original characters tend to create themselves. I don't know how they do it, they kinda just decide for themselves for better or worse what they'll look like and how they'll behave. Dune was an accident and the “About a Lizard” series wasn't supposed to happen at all. It was supposed to be a one-shot word dump of what Slit's final moments might have looked like. Slit was supposed to die in a fleeting but intense two seconds of delusions about Valkyries and Valhalla... And then be eaten by a scavenger cannibal. The whole thing kind of just happened on the fly. Ardith, Phil/Crank, Featherknife, Bones, and the kids were also accidental. I had no idea where I was going with the encounter with Crow Fishermen. They just popped into existence of their own will and the rest is history. The only original characters that have been planned and designed well beforehand have been villains. This probably says something about me as a writer though I'm not sure what. 

Q: When creating a new character for the AAL series, how do you approach their first interactions with your main characters?

A: The first thing I ask is “What does this scene need” and sometimes it needs a new character for villainy or friendly acquaintance reasons or for a skill-set the main characters do not posses. New characters have a habit of changing a chapter or making it much longer than intended. First interactions with Slit probably won't surprise anyone. He phases through distrust to dislike to begrudged cooperation and from there he's either on his way back to dislike or entering the tolerance phase. Beyond the tolerance phase is... The Complicated Zone. The Complicated Zone is where Nux and Dune are situated. Dune has two basic instincts with people: Should I shoot you? Or should I befriend you? Bizarrely, being friendly is the weirder option in the wastes. Shooting is almost always a consideration if she's taken by surprise.

Q: If you create original works, how do those compare to your fan works?

A: My original works are probably darker and deal more with modern problems. I turn to fan fiction for fun and to indirectly work through things.

Q: Who are some works by other creators inside and outside of the fandom that have influenced your work?

A: A lot of the fandom, too many names to name but one stands out and I can't remember their name or the title of their work. It was about Ace growing up and there was a dingo and a young Miss Giddy. If anyone knows what I'm talking about, please help. I've been looking for this fic for ages.

Q: Is there a specific author(s) that inspired your work when you began writing TLR?

A: I don't think any specific author inspired me while I began TLR but The Dark Half by Stephen King is one of my favorites and I recall re-reading it shortly before getting deep into fan writing. I may even have unconsciously plagiarized a few lines off that book. In my latest attempt to re-read that novel I'm feeling like there's a lot of Thad Beaumont in my portrayal of Slit.

Q: What advice can you give someone who is struggling to make their own works more interesting, compelling, cohesive, etc.? 

A: Don't be afraid to write things that are too soft or too dark or too this or too that. Sometimes readers crave that stuff that makes us feel warm and safe and sometimes we're also here for things that make us wonder how the @!#$% the characters will ever recover or IF they will ever recover. The real world is full of all sorts of feelings, situations, serendipitous coincidences. Take us down whatever funky road you got! You're the driver, you decide. Your fic is your world. Write WILD things sometimes because it's fun. 

Q: Have you visited or do you plan to visit Australia, Wasteland Weekend, or other Mad Max place?

A: I would love to take a trip to Australia one day to paint scenery in oils but that predates my time in MM fandom. I really want to go to Wasteland Weekend in the next two years but finances, necessities, costumes, etc need to be sorted out first.

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project.

A: Well, I'm buying up model car kits to make little Mad Max cars for nerd purposes.

Thank you @burn-your-face-upon-the-chrome

[septic-dr-schneep]

Could you write a fic about Bing or Google learning that (about not being able to go in water)?

Yeeep, I was already planning to! Here you go!

MP Fanfiction - Testing The Waters

Everything had happened quickly, as all accidents did. When Bing sawGoogle slip quietly out of Egos Incorporated, his insatiable curiosity hadsparked. Bing had only been manifested a short time ago, but he had seen enoughto know that the older Ego wasn’t particularly stealthy on a normal day, soperhaps this was abnormal. None ofthe others had seen him leave, so, being the go-getter that he was, Bing hadflipped his skateboard onto its wheels with the toe of his shoe and followed.

By his standards, he was being an absolute ninja—walking like an animal, flowing with the terrain, controllinghis breathing and whirring, all the tips Wikihow could supply him with. Evenso, he had only been following Google for about fifteen minutes before theblue-clad android turned on his heel and snarledat him, bared teeth and all. Bing yelped out a sharp, censored curse,scrambling to backpedal.

“Are you finished making a fool of yourself yet?” Google spat, bristlingwith a threatening whirr and staring down his nose at Bing, who scuffed hisfree foot against the pavement and jammed his hands into his pockets.

“Well, are you?” he shot back. It wasn’t the best comeback he’d ever had,but he had to stick with it. “Sneakin’ out of Egos Inc. like you’re goin’ allstealth mode—it didn’t work, by the way—and I followed you for a good longwhile before you noticed!”

“I heard you the second you closed the door behind you. Even if you hadmanaged to close it without my notice, the wheels of your skateboard gave you away,” Google deadpanned, his voice drippingderision.

“…Oh.” After a moment of awkward silence, Bing perked up, pushing hissunglasses higher up his nose as he noticed where they were. “Would you look atthat? Come here, old bot, and I’ll show you what my radical board is good for!” With that, he had picked up hisskateboard and was dragging Google by the collar toward the gate leading into thepark. The only way he managed to wrangle Google inside was because he had takenhim by surprise, but judging by the swipe at his arm, which Bing narrowlydodged, he released him just in time to avoid a few broken fingers.

“What are you doing?” Google demanded as Bing strode proudly toward thepond.

“I’ll bet ya I can get up the speed to hop the pond on the first try!” heannounced, to which Google shifted his weight back, looking thoroughlyunimpressed.

“I’ll bet that you’ll hit a cleft in the ground, fall, and break yourneck before you get there,” he huffed. “I don’t have time to indulge you andyour stunts.” As he spun to leave, Bing’s smirk fled and he tossed hisskateboard onto the ground.

“I’ll prove you wrong! If I do it, you tell me what kind of mission you’redoing on the D.L.! If I can’t clear it, well, I’ll go home and I won’t keepriding you.” Google ignored him as he moved back toward the gate, so Bingscowled further, doubling his fists. “What’s wrong, Rusty? You scared of a bet?!”

That stopped him dead in his tracks. He stood motionless for severalseconds, trembled slightly—no doubt in rage—and then lifted his head. When hepivoted and reapproached, his face was an expressionless mask, but hisnaturally brown eyes were burning with blue. He said nothing as he shoulderedpast Bing, kicking the skateboard to the side in the process, before plantinghimself by the edge of the pond.

“Well?” he snapped, gesturing expectantly at the surface of the water,which sparkled and danced in the sunlight. “I’m waiting.”

“Don’t get your gears in a crunch.” That said, Bing readjusted hisskateboard, planting his foot squarely and leaning back on his other heel,squinting at the water, trying to gauge just how much power he had to put intohis jump. He wasn’t the best at math, but he figured the same amount of push heput into getting halfway down the stairs would be enough!

Google was tapping his foot now, Bing noted, eyes narrowing further, hiscore tightening in his chest.

This was going to be easy—just a simple jump. If he was feeling sassymid-jump, maybe he’d put a little flip into the board, just to rub it in Google’sface that much more. He was gonna show him. He was gonna humiliate him. Themental image of the shock on Google’s face when he cleared the pond was so, so sweet. Bing craved it, now morethan ever.  

He could feel the power at his disposal as soon as he pushed off; it wasgoing to be more than enough. He could already feel the elation, the pride, thevalidation, the reward—

As soon as the board’s front wheels left the ground, however, an irongrip snagged Bing’s arm, hauling him out of the air and sending him flying theopposite direction. He hit the grass with a startled grunt and rolled a fewfeet, lying stunned for a moment before pushing upright and staring indisbelief up at Google, who stood holding up his skateboard by two fingers. Hewaved it tauntingly.

“What the…? You—!” Bing’s next several words were censored by his SafeSearch as he scrambled furiously to his feet. “What’s your problem?! That was a perfect shot!”

“I guess not,” Google sighed, feigning sympathy, but the size of his grinbetrayed it. “And since the bet was that you clear the pond on the first try—and you didn’t—I guess youhave to slink on home. You never said I couldn’t interfere. Now let me get onwith my work. You should work on yourjumps.” That said, he set the skateboard down and idly nudged it with his foot.Bing watched, openmouthed, as it rolled slowly over to him, and then glanced upat Google, who was walking back toward the path without a care in the world.

No.

Hands found board, feet found purchase, arms found air, and he swung ashard as he could, screaming something unintelligible. The crack as the skateboardconnected with Google’s head was much louder to his ears but even that wasdrowned out as the older Ego was thrown back and splashed thunderously into thepond.

As soon as he struck, Google sparked, contorted and screamed—a horrifying,garbled, high-pitched wail of agony that Bing never wanted to hear again. Hestumbled back as Google flailed and floundered, electricity spewing out of hischest for several long seconds. As it died down, so did his struggle, hisscrambling slowing to defective twitches and his screams petering out into alow, crackling whine. Even that fell silent after another few moments and therehe lay, stiff and smoking.

No…

No, no, no, no—

The skateboard, the deadly weapon, fell with a clatter, completelyabandoned as Bing sprinted to the edge of the pond, gasping as he leaned toreach out and then flinched back. The water—if he reached in—Wait—The tip ofGoogle’s shoe was just poking up out of the perilous pool. Thinking fast, Bingsnatched at it as best he could, dragging Google’s dripping leg up with it assoon as he latched on properly. The rest of his waterlogged frame followed andit was only when he was lying unconscious on the shore that Bing felt free topanic.

“Google—Google, I didn’t mean to—oh, man, oh, man, what’ve I—? Oh, man—”Gripping Google’s shoulders, he shook him a little, pleading nervously, “C-C’mon,wake up, you gotta—” What was it they always did on the shows? Check for apulse… Gnawing frantically on his lower lip, Bing pulled on Google’s soppingwet shirt, sliding a few tentative fingers under it toward his core, probing.

What if I’vekilled him?! I didn’t mean to kill him—If Dark finds out I’ve killed him, he’lltear my head off without a second thought! The Host will erase me from history!A sudden spark sent a jolt up his arm, startling him out of his agonizingthoughts, and he didn’t waste any more time, shoving his hand into the rim ofGoogle’s core, hooking his fingers on the wiring. His skin tingled as soon ashe made contact and then he could sense it: electricity.

“There’s still time!” he burst out, glancing up at Google’s pale facewith a near-sob of relief. Instinctively he brushed at the wet strands of hair,hissing through his teeth as he saw the sizeable gash his skateboard had madein Google’s forehead. “You’re good, you’re gonna be fine—the doc can fix you! Ijust gotta get ya there! S-Sorry—” Scooping Google into his arms, gritting histeeth against the dead weight, he ran.

“The, uh, the old fart’s gonna be okay, right, doc?” Bing ventured as Dr.Iplier emerged from his lab. “You were in there for a century and a half…”

“You didn’t expect me to rush, did you?” Dr. Iplier huffed. “He wasdying. Frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t die as soon as he hit the water. If hewas anyone else, even any of the duplicate Googles, I’m pretty certain he would’veFaded right in front of you.”

Something distinctly uncomfortable tightened in Bing’s throat and hischest. He swallowed around it and took a deep breath. “But he’s gonna be up andat ’em soon?”

“Once his self-repair systems can work on their own again, yes. You cango see for yourself, if you’d like,” the doctor offered, nodding toward thedoor.

Facing Google was frankly the last thing he wanted to do, but Bing hadpride to account for. He had to act guiltless. After all, he’d told Dr. Iplierthat Google had tripped into the water, not that he’d been pushed, so…no onehad to know about his guilt. If he avoided Google because of it, though, he wassure to tattle to Dark as soon as he was back on his feet. If he visited him,however, Google may keep it between them and treat it like another privatereason to hate him.

“Are you going or staying?” Dr. Iplier prompted, recapturing hisattention.

“Uhh, staying,” he blurted out, rising. “Thanks, doc. You’re the man.”With that, he pushed the door open, shuffling slowly toward the medical bed. Onthe bedside table, he could see Google’s glasses, the frames warped and thelenses cracked, and something about it made his stomach turn. Even so, his eyescouldn’t resist drifting to the glasses’ owner. He expected Google to open hiseyes and look at him, his gaze filled with loathing and fury, but they stayedclosed.

He looked…vulnerable like this,Bing realized in disbelief, moving around the bed and sinking onto the edge ofthe nearby stool. His face was still unnaturally pale and the circuitry visiblethrough the gash in his forehead flickered faintly, working to repair thedamage from within. Now that he was paying attention, Bing could see the dentingalong his forehead and jawline, leading to his parted lips and the thin tube betweenthem, draining excess water out of his throat and into a bag.

Did the doc actuallyuse a catheter on his throat? Bingwondered, a weak laugh finding its way out of his own throat, but it diedhalfway. There were drains plugged into his core too, the places Bing himselfhad searched for any sign of life. His hands tightened between his knees.

“You owe me big time, y’know that?” he muttered. “I could’ve…I could’vejust let you die. Fade. Right in front of me. I bet you would’ve if it’d been me, right, man?” His thoughts turnedback to the moment when Google grabbed his arm, wrenching him away from thewater. But that had been to humiliate him, hadn’t it? He’d done that just to “interfere”…hadn’the? What if he hadn’t?

Google was pompous and sadistic and selfish. He hadn’t done it to save him! He did it because…he wanted tokill Bing himself, on his own terms and timeline. He wouldn’t let him die tohis own stunt.

But didn’t that mean he had savedhim, even if it was for the wrong reasons?

“Why do you have to be such a—? Ugh, I hate you…” Running a handfrustratedly through his hair, Bing glanced down at the floor and then back atGoogle. “I hate you,” he repeated, more slowly…testingly.

“I hate you.”

How did it feel, saying it to his face?

“I hate you. I hate you.”

The more he repeated it…the better it felt. He sat up straighter, lookingGoogle up and down.

“I hate you.”

He wasn’t so tough.

“I hate you.”

A little water had stopped the big, bad Google dead. He would’ve diedright there.

“I hate you.”

He remembered Google’s smile as he taunted him, waving his skateboard. Hehad left his skateboard behind for him! The anger returned then, stirringkeenly in his chest.

“I hate you. I hate you.”

The anger felt…good. Refreshing. Really, really good, he realized, a surprised smile tugging at his lips. Isthis how Google felt towards him all the time?

Why hadn’t he let himself feel this sooner?

“I—hate—you, Google,” he hissed,leaning in close, elated by the fact that Google couldn’t do anything to pushhim back. “So…so…much.”

[hot-mysticc-mess-blog]

What about RFA +minor trio reacting to a female MC who likes to cuddle and hold hands and such, but is too shy and gets to embarrassed to ask or initiate it?

Of course! Hope you enjoy!

My Masterlist

Yoosung

Together you two are the most nervous, shy people the RFA has ever seen

He really tries though! You guys hold hands a lot and he makes sure to psych himself up to give you kisses when you’re out with other people…its just that he might be bright red while he does it

Attempts to discreetly cuddle you when you two watch a movie, though it just ends up being extra obvious.

No, really— he fakes a yawn and uses the distraction to put his arm around you. Then, he very slowly leans you down onto his chest as if he thinks you might not notice if he takes long enough.

The good news is, he totally understands feeling shy (and only sometimes worries its because you may not like him as much as he likes you)

Please help this awkward boy

Zen

He wants attention badly enough you don’t need to

Oh, you’ve never once initiated a single cuddling or hand holding session in our entire several month long relationship? Never noticed.

Cuddles you on the couch, and initiates lots and lots of kisses all the time

if you’re out in public as his partner (which unfortunately does not happen often due to his contract with his agency), you better believe the two of you are holding hands.

He just loves you and attention so much, and he wants to show the whole world.

Jumin

If it comes from you he loves casual affection

He’s the one who initiates it all the time, though he tends to keep PDA down to hand holding and the rare chaste kiss

He feels much more relaxed when he can hold your hand

At home he seems to always have a hand on you, on your arm, or your knee or guiding you by the small of your back

Good morning kisses, goodbye kisses, welcome home kisses, you-looked-really-cute-doing-that-thing-just-now cheek kisses, going-into-another-room kisses, and goodnight kisses

Not much of a couch snuggler, but loves to have you as his little spoon at night

At first it’s okay, but the more he learns to take other people’s feelings into consideration the more he worries

“Do I make you uncomfortable MC?” You never resist, but he remembered something you had told him in reference to his employees. They felt like they couldn’t resist without consequence, so they accepted it quietly.

The last thing he wants is the love of his life feeling forced.

Jaehee

Your shyness is only a problem at first

Because it’s a whole lot easier to keep up the delusion that she’s not interested in you romantically when the two of you never do anything two friends wouldn’t

Every step is a big deal in your relationship, with Jaehee spending days psyching herself up for every new milestone

Overtime she gets less nervous, more willing to be casually affectionate with you (in private spaces)

She regularly checks in with you to make sure you are comfortable and enjoy whatever she is doing and keeps a close eye on your reactions

Saeyoung

He likes physical affection, though he goes through phases in how he deals with it

When he is doing okay mentally, he is more than happy to initiate snuggles and cheek kisses and generally be a silly and affectionate goofball

On bad days or when something immediately distressing happens he will hold your hand for support, but can be touchy about cuddling and won’t initiate it on his own

When he’s particularly depressed or stressed out is the only time there is a real problem, because he could really use the affection but he won’t initiate it and can get very temperamental about it which only reinforces your hesitance

He watches your reactions and what you say to the other RFA members closely, and may or may not have browsed through your search history on several occasions just to make sure you weren’t googling something like “my bf is too touchy-feely halp”

While he has the occasional worry that you’re uncomfortable with him being particularly affectionate, he pays enough attention to be fairly certain that you do enjoy it and acts as such

Never play Truth or Dare with him, because he alternates between borderline-sadistic humiliation and daring you to hold his hand

Saeran

At first it is actually a good thing. After everything he has gone through, Saeran needs all of the personal autonomy he can get.

Then, as his recovery progresses your relationship stalls out.

He still asks for you to stroke his hair, and crawls on top of you after nightmares, but the two of you falter when it comes to intimacy that would progress your relationship further

The first time he kisses you, its because he was angry. You made a self-deprecating comment.

“Stop being stupid,” he snapped. Unsurprisingly, this did not work out the way he wanted it to. Frustrated and unable to express the words verbally, he pulls you close into a harsh kiss. It wasn’t supposed to be that rough, he just had no idea what he was doing.

Even after that though, things mostly stay the same. He doesn’t want to upset you.  Even now when he knows that he probably wouldn’t and that even if he did you wouldn’t ever deliberately hurt him, the thought that you might still holds him back.

Sometimes Saeyoung takes pity on you, he pushes you two together in the most conspicuous way possible, or whispers for Saeran to go hold your hand.

He also teases you mercilessly in the chatroom. Sends secretly taken photos of your awkward movie nights to the whole RFA ‘just kiss already!’

V/ Jihyun

Likes casual affection as well and while he is willing to initiate it, he is always careful about it

He makes sure to keep it polite in public, occasional hand holding when you two cross the street and cheek kisses

Will guide you with a hand on your hip or the small of your back and he has you lean up against him on the couch

You never push him away when he is affectionate with you, but since you never initiate he figures you must not enjoy it that much

Tries to strike a balance between making sure he is getting the affection he wants and not smothering you in unwanted attention (look!at!him!healing!!)

It’s not a bad deal at all, though you are missing out on a lot of potential snuggling.

One day, he gets a cold

Sick Jihyun = Cuddlebug Jihyun

He has been clingy for most of the day, lots of stopping you in the middle of the room so he can rest his forehead against your shoulder and quietly lament how congested he feels

Starts worrying at about 3 if he’s been something you too much He doesn’t want to fight when he’s sick

“Am I being too affectionate?” He asks, his head on your lap

That’s when he finally finds out how much you also love casual affection

He still asks first most of the time, but suddenly the two of you are missing next to zero potential snuggling sessions.

Vanderwood

Much like Saeran, your shyness when it came to physical affection made it easier to get to know you initially.

Vanderwood would have tried to cut it off at the pass had your relationship been anything more than talking at Seven’s place and an accidental kiss shared between you two in the early stages

Absolutely complains that you lured him into a trap he cannot get out of.

“It’s the worst,” he says as he gives you the last bite of his dessert because he knows its your favorite

He figures you must not be overly affectionate

That’s fine by him, neither is he

Except he is wrong and you really wish he would cuddle you more

The only time he is particularly physically affectionate is after the rare nightmare or bad mission, and even that is limited to late nights when the two of you are in bed together

He would do you on the kitchen counter while other people are in the next room, but heaven forbid you cuddle openly without the cover of darkness

[ridleytheknight]

Perfect Strangers

Two fics in one night? And one’s a one shot? Yes. I do do this to you and for you. None are Lance tho... maybe this weekend ;) Still! Enjoy some Ereri!

---

The morning was cool, a soft, wet feeling in the air. A rhythmic tapping was heard in his ears, the tapping of his pencil on the stone lunch bench he sat at in the high school courtyard. His fingers twitching nervously as he stared at the book in front of him. Math. His homework, which wasn’t just math, but history, foreign language, and then science. Luckily his creative writing class was finished already.

It was… a different assignment. He had to pick a prompt and use it in a poem. Either, ‘Hello to you,’ or to write a poem about an everyday hero. The teacher had said to pick one that spoke to them and made them emotional connect to their piece. And for him, a guy who could barely comprehend his own emotions… it was a train wreck. There were eraser marks everywhere and his writing was sloppy.

How he’d even gotten into the class was pure luck, a miracle. One he hadn’t even really wanted. His English teacher had forced him into the class. He didn’t like his writing, he didn’t like people. It was pointless to him. All it did was force more work on to him and stress him out as they often had to do workshops where he had to work with others.

Now, to get this completely straight, Eren was not hateful of people. It was just more of, scared. Unsure how to deal with them? He was an anti-social piece of shit. Saying all the wrong things and being an unfiltered asshole by complete accident. How was he supposed to know she wanted him to lie and say she looked good in that two sizes too small vomit color sweater?

Sighing, Eren put the books away. He couldn’t focus, and his class was soon anyway, Eren’s eyes fell onto an umbrella. Lying on the ground. He looked it up and down, picking up the small thing. This was Isabel’s. He could recognize the strawberry pattern from anywhere. Eren looked over his shoulder. Seeing no one. He held the umbrella and walked away. Moving down the corridors and passed his classroom and to the locker bays. Stopping at a locker with a small label. Isabel in red letters and cute little stickers. She’d been his locker mate for as long as he’d been in the district. Always giving him a smile and a wave from the corner which he cramped himself into. He took the small ribbon on the handle and tied it to the lock. She’d find it there.

And without even looking back Eren walked away to his class. It wasn’t a big deal, just another day. He had always done stuff like that. It was, a way of interacting with people without actually having to look them in the eyes. It was easier than talking. He’d always done it. Always would do it. Just like today would go. As he sat down in his first class. Practically day dreaming his way through the classes. Slipping notecards with answers onto people that were called out without preparation or understanding. Leaving behind a sandwich for the girl who couldn’t afford lunch. Secretly letting the guy who worked nights to support him and his sister cheat off him. Acting like he didn’t know as to not humiliate him. It all lead up to his English class.

He scooted into his desk and was surprised as another sat beside him. Looking at him, Eren had never seen someone fit the profile of perfect stranger so well. His hair looked silky soft, and his skin was porcelain. Levi Ackerman. He was a junior at his school. He was also in Eren’s creative writing class. Though Eren had never been as close to him as he was right now. The others grey eyes narrowed in an expression of boredom. Yet, when he spoke, Eren could hear a kernel of interest.

“Eren, right?” Eren’s hand moved quietly as he stared at the other, not noticing as his hand grabbed a notebook that was falling from his neighbor’s desk before it could hit the floor without looking. It was her diary, and he knew she kept pictures in there. No need for it to spill everywhere. Giving a sheepish smile to the other as he slipped the book more firmly onto her desk.

“Y-yes.” Levi grunted, as if Eren’s affirmation wasn’t needed, even though Eren thought he’d heard question in the other’s tone.

“Do you even notice when you do stuff like that?” Eren got nervous. He hadn’t been caught had he? No. This stranger had only seen the notebook thing. He could play dumb and make it to next period. Levi would forget him by tomorrow anyway. This was just a fleeting interest in the boy that never talked to anyone. Many people did the same thing. Then they got frustrated or tired of Eren’s distant and despondence and would leave him on his own once more.

“Do what?” Levi shook his head.

“Nothing, did you do the assignment for creative writing?” Ah, school. This is probably why Levi approached him… but why? There were so many better writers in the class. Unless Levi wanted to ask something from the worst writer, then Eren could do it.

“Yes... you?” Levi leaned back, he wasn’t used to ever being the main speaker. That was usually Hanji, but it seemed like that was his only option to keep this conversation alive, but even Eren could tell he was basically a fish out of water. Then again, maybe not. Eren was almost as quirky and awkward as him.

“Not yet, but I’m working on it. What prompt did you pick?”

“Hello to You.”

“I couldn’t figure that one out.”

“So, you’re doing everyday heroes?” Eren was interested, looking at Levi.

“Yeah, I’ve been looking around at students. Teachers and adults are too cliché in my opinion. But, you don’t realize how little you know about people until you actually think about it, don’t you? I don’t know half these names. Like that chick over there. No clue.” Eren looked. It was Mikasa.

“Mikasa… she likes boxing if that helps…” Levi looked at Eren curiously.

“She a friend of yours?” Eren shook his head, turning away.

“No, she’d gone to our school for a while. She’s nice. Well, I guess most are if you really look at them…” Those grey eyes seemed to bore into him. Searching his soul. It made Eren feel bare. He immediately disliked the feeling.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” And Levi stayed there. Making small talk until Eren parted with him at the end of school. Not seeing the other after that. Not that Eren minded, they never stayed around anyway. He was always a passing flame. A small thing to try and get close to. Until they got sick of the cold and walked away to a warmer welcome.

Things said, and the weekly postings of Creative Writing came in. The post that held every single piece by each student in that week. It was a requirement. A part of their grade for their work to be published in a weekly ‘paper’ for the English wing. Though, a certain piece caught his attention. Making him stop dead in his tracks and go pale. White as a sheet as blood drained from his body. No. There was no way he knew.

Secret Hero, by Levi Ackerman

No one sees him, sees those ocean eyes, Not noticing the way he stays, remembering each one Listening to the whispers, watching the morning skies. The returning the umbrella to the girl who loves fun Unseen.

Sharing enlightenment to those who were lost, called out Never one to get frustrated, ever patient, never to shout Giving a break and a gift to the girl who is in need Running away before any see him, a silent creed Turning an ever-blind eye to a boy with a wandering eye Protecting of secrets, hidden in leather binds about to fall from high Unseen

All of these things, he does without credit, Helping the people who don’t mention him Yet, still, he names them one by one, sticking with it He’ll smile, eyes like oceans even as the skies turn grim, Unseen.

A truly secret hero.

But, where his all good, to you, a pure dove There is a crime which he has committed to me Unknown, in secret as in everything he does Thievery, his left hand doesn’t know that what sin may be, A grievous sin, not of his fault, but mine. As he stole my heart, hand in disguise That secret hero of ocean eyes.

A… poem. For him. He saw him! Though… it seemed it was only recent. Oh, god he must of looked like such a freak… but. A thief? Eren reread the last stanza. Turning a bright red as he finally soaked in the meaning. Oh, gods. What was he going to do?

Well, the answer came to him in the form of a google search. Write a poem back to the gorgeous perfect stranger. Though, giving him the poem was going to be a something to contemplate. Writing it came first however. Scribbling it down in his classes. Finishing it. Though as crappy as it was… Eren knew that was as good as it was going to get. So, Eren found Levi after school. Standing in the courtyard.

Eren was going to try and put aside his usual antics and walk up to Levi. Give it straight to him and walk away coolly, but chickened out at the last minute. Instead folding the poem into a small paper… thing. And chucking it straight at Levi. Making eye contact, which was a glare that softened at the sight of Eren’s fearful eyes. Which made Eren quickly turn tail and sprint the fuck away. Escaping to the spare classroom at the other end of the school. Eren panted. He could still remember the crap that he’d written.

Perfect Stranger, by Eren Jaeger

Grey eyes and a sharp gaze For one that’s unseen it was unsettling But I didn’t mind The presence of you is magnetic Even if its one I don’t know

You called me a thief, which, may be true In some ways at least But any wrong I’ve done. I’ll erase With you, I hope Repentance is a silent creed too.

However… repentance, is only good for A wrong you want to undo And I don’t I want to keep your heart from you Selfishly. A boy with a cut tongue cannot speak But, wants to keep a captive heart as his own Please forgive him for his wrongs. He really tries.

Eren panted, a hand on his chest as he slowly sunk to his knees. Leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. It could have been coincidence after all. What kind of ego maniac was Eren to think Levi would write something like that for him? It was ridiculous. Stuck in his thoughts, Eren didn’t hear the door click open. Until his eyes opened to gunmetal eyes starting into him. Almost like they were ripping open his soul.

Breath catching in his throat. Eren stiffened, back rigid against the wall as he straightened up. Gulping almost inaudibly as his fingers ticked again, yet Levi still stared, as if he were a piece of art. Constantly changing meanings. Endlessly awe-some to look at. And the raven leaned forward. Sealing those soft pale lips against his own. Being undeterred as Eren didn’t respond right away, only kissing the corner of his mouth. Getting Eren out of his haze as Levi placed his lips on Eren’s once more. Finally getting the brunet to respond, tilting his head and leaning up to the other and gently reaching up. Grabbing the others jacket as Levi pinned him against the wall, immediately deepening the kiss and making Eren explode in shades of red and grow flustered. Unsure of what to do. Just submitting and letting the other do as he pleased. Letting Levi coax his tongue into playing his game, exploring his mouth.

Slowly, Levi pulled away, staring into Eren’s wide eyes all the while. Taking in the flushed cheeks and dazed look on the other’s face. Levi smirked, bumping the other’s head with his own softly, playfully. Until Eren finally responded.

“Fuck.” Levi laughed at that. Such an awkward little shit. But, he was now Levi’s socially awkward little shit. Levi pressed a kiss to the other’s temple. Wrapping his hand around the others as they sat on the empty classroom for.

As a first kiss, Eren could easily say that it was absolutely perfect.

[larrypagequotes]

The Untold Story of Larry Page

Larry Page along with Sergy Brin founded Google and made it a great success. Here is a detailed story from business insider about how Larry Page dealt with the changes Google went through.

One day in July 2001, Larry Page decided to fire Google’s project managers. All of them.

It was just five years since Page, then a 22-year-old graduate student at Stanford, was struck in the middle of the night with a vision. In it, he somehow managed to download the entire Web and by examining the links between the pages he saw the world’s information in an entirely new way.

What Page wrote down that night became the basis for an algorithm. He called it PageRank and used it to power a new Web search engine called BackRub. The name didn’t stick.

By July 2001, BackRub had been renamed Google and was doing really well. It had millions of users, an impressive list of investors, and 400 employees, including about a half-dozen project managers.

As at most startups, in Google’s first year there were no management layers between the CEO, Page, and the engineers. But as the company grew, it added a layer of managers, people who could meet with Page and the rest of Google’s senior executives and give the engineers prioritized orders and deadlines.

Page, now 28, hated it. Since Google hired only the most talented engineers, he thought that extra layer of supervision was not just unnecessary but also an impediment. He also suspected that Google’s project managers were steering engineers away from working on projects that were personally important to him. For example, Page had outlined a plan to scan all the world’s books and make them searchable online, but somehow no one was working on it. Page blamed the project managers.

Some dramatic streamlining was called for, he resolved. Instead of the project managers, all of Google’s engineers would report to one person, a newly hired VP of engineering named Wayne Rosing, and Rosing would report directly to him.

Google’s human resources boss, a serious woman with bangs named Stacey Sullivan, thought Page’s plan was nuts, according to “I'm Feeling Lucky,” Douglas Edwards' inside view of Google's early years. Sullivan told Page so. “You can’t just self-organize!” she said. “People need someone to go to when they have problems!”

Page ignored her.

Sullivan took her concerns to Eric Schmidt. In March, Schmidt had become the chairman of Google. Everyone assumed he’d be CEO as soon as he could leave his full-time job as CEO of Novell.

Schmidt agreed with Sullivan. So did Page’s executive coach, Bill Campbell. Everyone called Campbell “Coach” because he’d once been Columbia University's football coach. He still walked and talked like he was pacing a sideline.

As Steven Levy detailed in his own rollicking Google history, “In the Plex,” one evening, Campbell got into a big argument with Page about his plan. To prove his point, Campbell brought engineer after engineer into Page’s office to offer their perspective. One after another, they told Page that they actually preferred to have a manager — someone who could end disagreements and give their teams direction.

But Page was determined.

Schmidt in particular may have been the worst person for Sullivan to turn to for help back then. Page had never been behind hiring him — or any CEO, for that matter. Google’s investors made him do it.

Before long, Schmidt might have presented an obstacle to Page’s plan. But not yet. It was July 2001 and Schmidt hadn’t officially become CEO. So Page went ahead.

He deputized Rosing to break the news.

That afternoon, all 130 or so engineers and a half-dozen project managers showed up. They stood outside Page’s office amid Google’s mismatched cubicles and couches — which, like the rest of the company’s office furniture, had been bought from failed startups on the cheap.

Finally, Rosing, a bald man in glasses, began to speak. Rosing explained that engineering was getting a reorganization: All engineers would now report to him, all project managers were out of a job.

The news did not go over well. The project managers were stunned. They hadn’t been warned. They’d just been fired in front of all their colleagues.

The engineers demanded an explanation. So Page gave one. With little emotion, speaking in his usual flat, robotic tone, he explained that he didn’t like having non-engineers supervising engineers. Engineers shouldn't have to be supervised by managers with limited tech knowledge. Finally, he said, Google’s project managers just weren’t doing a very good job.

As Page talked, he kept his gaze averted, resisting direct eye contact. Though he was an appealing presence with above-average height and nearly black hair, he was socially awkward.

The news was met with a chorus of grumbling. Finally, one of the engineers in the room, Ron Dolin, started yelling at Page. He said an all-hands meeting was no place to give a performance review. What Page was doing was “completely ridiculous,” he said, and “totally unprofessional.”

“It sucked,” one of the project managers present said later. “I felt humiliated by it. Larry said in front of the company that we didn't need managers, and he talked about what he didn't like about us. He said things that hurt a lot of people.”

In the end, the layoffs didn’t stick. The project managers Page had intended to fire that day were instead brought into Google’s growing operations organization, under the leadership of Urs Hözle.

Page’s reorganization didn’t last long either. While some engineers thrived without supervision, problems arose. Projects that needed resources didn’t get them. Redundancy became an issue. Engineers craved feedback and wondered where their careers were headed.

Eventually, Google started hiring project managers again.

“I did my best to advise that there is true value in management, and you can set a tone by how you manage this,” Stacy Sullivan recalled in “I'm Feeling Lucky.” “Hopefully it was a lesson learned for Larry.”

By August 2001, Schmidt had fully extricated himself from his responsibilities at Novell. He became Google’s CEO — so-called adult supervision for Page and his co-founder, Brin.

And for a long time, Larry Page was very unhappy.

Everyone knows the Steve Jobs story — how he was fired from the company he founded — Apple — only to return from exile decades later to save the business. What’s less-well understood is that Apple’s board and investors were absolutely right to fire Jobs. Early in his career, he was petulant, mean, and destructive. Only by leaving Apple, humbling himself, and finding a second success (with Pixar) was he able to mature into the leader who would return to Apple and build it into the world’s most-valuable company.

Larry Page is the Steve Jobs of Google.

Like Jobs, Page has a co-founder, Sergey Brin, but Page has always been his company’s true visionary and driving force.

And just as Apple’s investors threw Jobs out of his company, Google’s investors ignored Page’s wishes and forced him to hire a CEO to be adult supervision.

Both then underwent a long period in the wilderness. Steve Jobs’ banishment was more severe, but Page also spent years at a remove from the day-to-day world of Google.

As with Jobs, it was only through this long exile that Page was able to mature into a self-awareness of his strengths and weaknesses.

Then, like Jobs, Page came back with wild ambitions and a new resolve.