#my girl just likes girls. she aint dating. she dont got the competence for that. but yknow. girls. maybe... maybe shell meet someone...
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#I didn't have enough characters. so had to include ocs again#I will like to mention that I will be participating in artfight this year. Will be drawing a lot of beyblade ocs then.#but uhhhh *if you wanna pick Avery yknow*#my girl just likes girls. she aint dating. she dont got the competence for that. but yknow. girls. maybe... maybe shell meet someone...#yknow at the world championships... as you do...#I dont remember who told me to include lesbian demure but ig lesbian demure is here#I had many gender and sexuality revelations about reiji in this poll making process. I must turn them all over in my head#though. if we're being honest here guys. look into my eyes. yall know who im voting for#i have 1 brand in this fandom#wow I wrote a lot of tags this time. welp. girls#beyblade#beyblade metal fight#mfb pride fight#sometimes you just add a joke option. just for you.
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What You Need
A/N: too many au fantasy fics where Jordan is the fine ass neighborhood weedman consume me lately. Someone help! 😭 Also, I hope its clear when I refer to J as they or he and she. They when I or a character is vaguely talking about them in general; he or she to help differentiate between their ability to transition or whoever your being intimate with at the time. I hope that makes sense. Just wanted to put my own flavor on my stories but still respect the proper pronouns. I'd love feedback on my Jordan li fics. And please remember, these fics can take a long time to write so pretty please don't flag them as your content consumption is your responsibility. Anyway enjoy!
I step out my brand new stark white BMW, rolling my narrowed eyes as I scan the immediate vicinity. Not payin no mind to the group of dudes starin my way a few cars down, I realize Jordans ass aint nowhere to be found. Too many times over the years of em bein my connect, this mf done made me walk up them damn rickety stairs to grab my sack when they lyin ass specifically promised to be in the lot.
I'm already inna rush to get to my date with Dre. That's why was tryna get a little relaxation; I really didn't wanna show up all tense and hit him with all this attitude at once. A little me time to calm my nerves would do my ass some good after this nightmarish day. And maybe if the date goes well enough, Andre could gimme a hand with that too. Though its impossible to deny if the plug wasn't such a fuck boy, I'd be tryin to give them this work instead. But in no way am I finna compete with any of the hoes on their team.
Bending to reach into my ride, I snatch my cell from the cup holder and slam my car door. My nails click clack across the screen as I text Jordan. I'm already teetering on the edge of insanity so I'm not in the mood to be late or deal with their cocky ass attitude. This was so not supposed to be one of my usual pick ups that lasted over half an hour cause of their antics.
Me: you told me you'd be in the lot when I pulled up.
Not more than 10 seconds go by before I get a response.
This Fuckin Guy: my bad cutie, jus cum up here.
Me: i already let you know I had plans and to be down here this time.
This Fuckin Guy: ik but I had to serve last min. damn.
I roll my eyes as I read the word 'serve'. Yeah, they probably up there servin some lil bitch on her back. For some reason that thought got me on 10.
Me: cus you always wastin my time boy. but fine, i'm comin up.
Me: and my shit better be ready too.
This Fuckin Guy: whatchu need again?
This Fuckin Guy: nvm, Daddy knows exactly what you need..
This Fuckin Guy:
Nibbling my bottom lip softly, I stare at the pic of they fine ass way longer than I'd ever admit to em. Fuck, they just don't realize how many times I've woken up from random scenes of them starin at me like that before diggin me out. Panties and sheets be so fuckin drenched with my juices when I slid my fingers between my lower lips and replayed em back in my mind over and over.
It's so fuckin Jordan to be on standby waitin for some snarky ass remark back, I'm sure of it. But I dont give them the satisfaction, continuing to climb the stairs carefully in my dainty heels.
And I'm absolutely proud of the way I ignore the pounding and slick building between my thighs as I head up the last step and briskly walk to Jordan's apt. Damn I feel a bit pathetic from gettin so horny from a photo that wasn't even a shirtless, nude or dick pic.
I don't even get a chance to knock on the door as an attractive slim blonde with a messy bun and black skin tight leggings opens it. Her expression a bit shocked at first as we briefly stare at each other before she gives me a small smile and quickly walks towards the staircase. Of fuckin course they have some damn bimbo on her way out as I'm coming up. Typical fuckin Jordan. Can't even deny the girl was kinda bad though; that lil fact gone get Jordan popped fa sho.
"Really? Tryna fuck me right after you jus slid in sumn? Nasty ass.." I throw insults at them as soon as I step inside, slamming the door in hopes the lil hoe hears.
"Fuck you on about now?" Jordan's voice is bored from her spot on the couch as she rolls up, not even bothering to look my way.
"I'm speakin on the fact that you tryna hit right now but you got some broad leavin as I'm comin up. Like, the fuck?"
These hands rated E for everyone and they know that. I put a hand on my curvy hip and stare em down. Smoke is finna start steamin out my ears at Jordan's nonchalant behavior. Walkin up to the couch I flop down on the opposite side, full lips pressed into a thin line. Unfortunately my gaze melts more into eye fucking than the daggers I was jus hittin em with as I notice how attractive they are, so damn focused rollin the perfect blunt.
"I ain't fuck her." Tone of voice resembling one to use with a child; clearly she think I'm playin.
I follow the line the tip of her tongue makes as she finishes rolling the blunt. Damn, how I need to feel them doing that allover my fuckin body. I pray Jo ain't got super senses too, like I would just die inside if she could actually smell how wet I was for them right now.
"That right? Then why shawty hair was messy? And why you lookin relaxed as fuck, like you just took a load off? Talkin bout literally.."
"Ion know.. Why you ain't ask her? Told you, I had a order. And maybe I'm calm cause I'm always chill. You needa relax too, princess. Let's smoke."
Always tryna smoke ass; not sure how there's ever any left for them to sell. I roll my eyes at her slick ass, leaning back and folding my arms. Jordan finally looks up at me, dark brown eyes trailin down my frame slowly as she openly ogles my fit.
"Spark it then. But I can't stay long. I told you: I got plans tonight."
"Yeah, you said that. But you ain't say what you got planned the night."
"Cause that's nun ya concern-" my mouth is quick to slam shut at the penetrating stare I get before I can finish my thought.
I've seen that look before; would kill for a view of it while Jordan digs me out actually. (I almost whimper out loud as I envision just that. ) My attitude is immediately extinguished as she checks me without a sayin a fuckin word. She holds my gaze for a few seconds before casting her gaze back down, givin the blunt one last light lick. Clearly amused and feelin triumphant with how I'm put in my place, she openly grins. The silence only lasts half a minute be I speak again.
"Gotta date tonight." I say quietly, absolutely hating myself for how weak my voice comes out.
I expect another death stare but only receive a frown and flared nostrils as Jordan continues to look down. And then more silence. So I speak up again.
"You mad?" Tone a bit stronger this time.
That gets me someneye contact.
"The fuck you think?"
"Well, you shouldn't be since you just-"
"Why you so worried if I'm fuckin when you clearly tryna get ran through tonight?"
The question is like a whip across the face. My cheeks heat as shame flushes through me. My mouth open and closes a few times, struggling to respond. Jordan waits for my response with a confident smirk, transitioning before pulling in a big hit.
"I'm not- I.. That's not why-"
I'm interrupted as he leans over to my side of the couch, grabbing my neck and pulling me in. Sexy ass taking advantage of my lips parting in shock at his grip to blow smoke into my mouth. I take it in without a thought, immediately becoming pliant for him as I inhale. It feels so fucking intimate I want more in an instant.
"Who's the date with?" His fine ass asks me softly, hand still lightly grasping my throat. His thumb rubs my skin there lightly as he takes this moment to assess my fit again.
"Andre." I answer on an exhale, mesmerized by the way he licks at his pretty pink bottom lip.
That makes him pop his gaze back to me, his hold a bit firmer as he reconnects with my y/e/c eyes.
"You not fuckin goin, ma. We clear."
"We're clear."
My response is instantaneous and I have no idea who've I've become in this moment. What I am painfully aware is that he's gettin hard, silver basketball shorts doin nothing to hide his yummy fuckin girth.
Clearly my pussy is way more interested in gettin piped by Jordan than Dre; our close proximity has my desperate empty cunt clenching nonstop. I feel like I'll combust if they don't touch me soon.
"What a good fuckin girl you can be. Who knew?"
The praise has the softest of sounds bubbling from my lips as he takes a longer drag, leanin forward to give me another hit. Since this one's bigger, it has my mind a bit hazy as I exhale. I close my eyes, arms droppin to my lap as I enjoy the high and his big palms wrapped around my neck. A shiver of arousal runs through my frame as he moves to whisper at my ear.
"You like when I tell you how good you are for me? Cause you are honey." I moan an affirming 'mm hm' as Jordan licks and kisses at the sensitive spot behind my lobe. "In fact, can fuck my good girl like she need. Is that what you want? Huh? Itchin for Daddy to slide in them guts? I can.. And I will princess. Gonna get that lil pussy creamin round my cock in no time."
I should be shamed in how my head nods rapidly without my permission, mouth opening to say yes but moaning like a whore instead. I'm completely in shambles, loving the way my welcoming high enhances my craving for his cock.
"Lay back then. Show me how pretty that pussy is." He demands, releasing me and gesturing to the carpet with one hand as he takes a hit and sets the blunt down in the ashtray with the other.
Normally I would at least try to be sensual, make a show of it but I'm too tense right now. I don't even bother to undress as I lay on my back as quick as I can manage, swiftly slippin of my heels and throwing them aside. I'm so thankful for the access the deep slits my fit provides. I only need to spread my thighs and pull my salmon colored thong to the side.
"Damn that lil kitty.. So beautiful, look how she flutters at me baby. Think she want Daddy to come play in it."
Those dirty words make me hungry; fuckin pulsating at how he talks to me. I watch lustfully at the way Jordan stands and strips to his snug black boxer briefs. He smiles at me like he knows something I don't. Get goosebumps from how he stares down at me like he wants to wreck me.
I'm salivating when he pulls his long cock out through the opening and starts shows off. He strokes from tip to the base slowly, starin between my legs like hes inna trance. Dark brown eyes intently focused on the way wetness starts to stream from my slit to my juicy brown ass. I'm so jealous of the way he milks drops of precum on every upward stroke, consistent little grunts of pleasure spilling from him; I want that pleasure.
"Come on Daddy, I'm so ready for it." I goad him.
"Mmm. Fuckin lil slut for me know that?" He groans as he gets on his knees between my legs.
"Yeeees, I knooow." I moan out to his fine ass. "Wish you'd do somethin bout it already."
Grippin the base of his dick, he swipes back and forth through the excess moisture leakin from my slit while grabbing the blunt to take another hit.
"Aight, bet. Legs: shoulders."
I stall for just a moment at his simple request before obeying, setting an ankle at each of his shoulders slowly. My tummy clenches at the thought of the deep fuck I'm about to receive.
Jordan grunts lowly, slidin through once more before slappin my clit thrice with his twitching length. My wails are fuckin thunderous, dramatic ass fuck as an intense sensation swirls in my pulsing cunt. Too damn sensitive, soggy little button throbbing ferociously, I miss the descent of his cock to my drenched hole as the sensations flow throughout my overwhelmed frame.
"Damn you so noisy, baby. Ooooh fuck, Daddy gone enjoy this shit."
He moves forward, tip of his dick pushing at my opening as I groan in absolute peril at his thickness. Gripping and yanking at the plush carpet, breath punching out as his mean ass pulls back and thrusts into me sharply. The deep rumbling moan in his chest has a warmth lickin up my spine as my lil puss struggles to strangle the first few inches of his fat cock.
"Waitwaitwait. Pleeease Jo, please! Sobig, too much. Juswait, juswait.." I whine, releasing the carpet to slap and push at his toned chest and abs.
"No." Jordan snaps, snatching my wrists together and bringing the blunt back to his lips with his free hand.
"Do what you need to take this dick cept that. Do that shit again and it's up." He says, thick smoke billowing from his nose as he gazes at me ferally.
His pace to start is fuckin lethal. I'm already cock drunk when he pulls out and stabs in half way repeatedly, hastily dropping the blunt back in the ashtray. My toes curl at the feeling of him fucking me so roughly. Each thrust gives way for the next, helps make me even slicker so he can slide in further. It's happening too quick, he's digging me out faster than I can breathe. My freshly waxed eyebrows pull together as I yank at his grip on my wrists.
"Oooh shit, that feels sooo good. Yeeees, y/n. Can't believe I'm in these guts. Mmmmfuck, don't fight it. You wanted this shit, right?" He asks, serving me powerful precise jabs.
I realize now that my lids are shut tight, eyes rolled back; my mouth open wide as I sob at the intense fucking I'm receiving. For the sake of satisfying him I offer two jerky nods to his question, pussy walls fluctuating sporadically around his prick.
"Not even in all th-the way. Gone let me all the way inside ma?"
I wish I could've stopped the involuntary 'nooooo' that I moan but at this point my brain is becoming mush. It should be illegal for how fast Jordans reduced me to an incoherent mess.
"Ahhhhh y/n, thas not nice. Why you so mean to me all the time?"
Jordan's teasing damn near falls on deaf ears as he takes my right ankle and adds it with the other. Freeing my wrists he places a thumb on my clit and rubs quickly, holding both legs over his left shoulder. My hands quickly find their place back into the carpet, yanking handfuls as he sadistically unravels me with pure amusement on his face.
It's a surprise I don't deafen us both with the shrieks being forced from me. His frenzied pace increases as he spears me over and over, staring intently at the way I take his cock. My orgasm is so dangerously fuckin close to the surface and I hope he's ready.
"Oooh my go- shit! Ain't neva had a pussy so tight, so fuckin weeeet round my shit. Gone let me keep her all to myself? Huh ma?"
"Yesyesyesyes!"
My crazed chants is the best I can do at this moment as he molds the shape of his dick to my walls. Overwhelmed and overstimulated would be an understatement; finna have me gushin his dick in under 5 and that's a fuckin record for me.
"Good giirrrl, pretty. Ah, ah, this- aahhh God.. This my pussy now y/n. You mine now. Got it?"
Fuck me all these questions don't help my scrambled mind. This a fuckin quiz or something? My response is a garbled jumbled mess of high pitched keens.
"I said do you fuckin understand?" He growls out with one brow raised, passionately drilling my pussy faster.
"YesJo, yeeees! 'M sorry, 'm sorry. SosorryDaddy- please!" I keen in hopes of some type of mercy.
But I get none. Tears track done my cheeks like a heavy rain on a stormy night from being subjugated to this all-consuming pleasure.
"Awww, you look so cute when you cry on my dick baby. Thas it, take it just like that for me. Uhhhfuck, gonna give my perfect princess a big ass nut. Know you want it too y/n; gonna make you leak wit it."
Thanks to his persistence he actually slides into the hilt. I wonder if he can see his long fat cock in my tummy. He's so fuckin big that I wouldn't be surprised. A chuckle reaches my ears as I feel the dam about to burst.
"Mmmm.. Naw ma, wish I could see my fuckin dick in ya tummy-"
Christ, I didn't even know I was voicing my fried ass thoughts. Such a fuckin shame it's at that moment I come and unfortunately miss the rest of his sentence. My cunt compresses the dick that's hell bent on unraveling me from the inside out. The pleasure spikes and my back arches as I fight to accept it. I shake like a leaf as he fucks me fiercely, fingers speeding on my beating little button. A clear stream splatters against his lower body as he praises my efforts.
"Did so good for meeeee, ah ah ah fuck! Mmm, hell yeah y/n! Pleeease gimme my reward! Earned it didn't I? Need it so bad, so fuckin bad! Cuuum baby! Good girl, good girl! GOOD. FUCKIN GIRL!"
I give him two more squirts as he punctuates his words with searingly deep stabs before a heavy warmth blooms in my achy abused little puss. Fuck me, the sensation of Jordan filling my cunt like he owns me is addicting; so damn soothing to the battering I just received. Almost feels like a soothing balm applied to a sore limb. And God damn if he ain't so damn loud as he comes to his end, complementing my poor over used lil puss over and over.
He ceases rubbing my clit to grip both of my legs in a bear hug and creampie me till his nut begins to leak out generously from around his dick. Daddy leaves kisses up and down my calves and legs as he roars out the last of his pleasure. Wish I could snap a pic of the way he tosses his head back before dropping it forward, puffing out heavy grunts of my name; his hips giving stuttering circles as he drains the last bit of his cream into me.
Finally, I'm able to gulp in some air as he hips halt their sweet torture, both of us huffing like we just finished a marathon. Jordan sits back on his haunches, palms sliding down to pull my ass into his lap with both hands. He stays just like that, big dick slowly beginning to soften within me. Daddy looks so fuckin handsome: so damn flushed and sweaty, long damp strands of hair fall into his face; pretty eyes low from smoking and all the work he just put in as he gazes at me with a endearing expression. I press a shaky hand to his chest, feeling his heart race just as fast as mine.
"Get what you need, ma?" He asks, smile dazzling the fuck outta me.
"Yes Daddy."
#jordan li x you#jordan li x reader#jordan li x y/n#jordan li#black reader#all readers#black fanfiction#smut#daddy k!nk#creamp!e#dirty talk#submisive and breedable#derek luh#Spotify
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Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs
Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ? I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro
full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies
dormitory room: 105
birthday: 20 march 1995
soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza
favorite dish: efo riro
aesthetic: when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands
Bio Points
her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit
she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa
she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !
Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’
loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted ! was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states
her mom made some calls and went “ gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”
she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see !
Other Information
Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)
Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)
Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck
Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye
Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build
Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101
Personality
the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy.
she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu
easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready
rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart
she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming
is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand
she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer
just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich
Fun Facts
has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese
has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man
is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday
likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit
is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff
doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit
if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y
she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul
isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there
don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place
Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know
kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything
Possible Connections
crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok
flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her
enemies/angst !!! — or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that. so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!
fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !
friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right
mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”
anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu
( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )
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Indie & Rio
Indie: where you left me to go mama?? Rio: aw bubba 😧😔 Rio: plenty of stuff in the kitchen if you ain't already raiding Indie: got my head in the fridge never over its madness Indie: 🍾 + 🍊 for breakfast innit 😂 when you lavish Rio: 😂 we on the champagne too Rio: calling a 2 drink max for you so you don't rinse 'em 😜 Indie: dont be lawin that for me too tho Rio: Bitch I is, keep up Indie: naaaah thats only a glass in each hand Indie: you got rules whenever you be but cant gimme none Rio: 😑 Rio: even you can't test me rn tho Rio: on ☁9 Indie: jam girl im playin 🍾 aint lush 😕 aint be telling mckenna that i cant hang w the poshos but fr Indie: is it? whats got you feelin higher than me? 411 Rio: not got dem mature tastebuds yet younger 😉 Rio: [Picture in the Tiffany shop] Indie: allow it i got 👅 that 💸 cant buy bitch Indie: what bling the boy tryna drop on you 👑 didnt even hear you arguing like 👏 get it girl Indie: guilt gifts be 🔥 Rio: Better than the 🚬 joke I thought you would Rio: maybe you are gettin so grown 😜 Rio: nah nah Rio: not even Rio: idk how to say it it feels surreal, like Rio: you'll think i'm playing fr Indie: innit tho 👵👵👵👵 Indie: ?? Indie: youre playing not to take me w to get a 👶 🎁 but you kno 💖💖💖 Rio: That is a good idea tho the price tag would have you shook Rio: [Pic] Rio: It's an engagement ring Rio: ahh I feel a bit sick Indie: YOUVE GOT JOKES MAN 😂😂😂 Indie: even mckenna aint that highkey he gonna proper wife you rn Rio: mad init Indie: serious? Rio: yeah Rio: promise Indie: 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲 Indie: bitch i aint wearing no dress to the 💒 tho Rio: i know Rio: but how you gon' be maid of honour if you don't? 😘 Indie: ill tax that best man role from other mckenna if you keep playing 💪😎😎 Indie: & i aint callin you mckenna now thatd be a madness of getting you caught up w that boy in convos Rio: Fine we'll discuss this later Rio: 'cos ain't like it's happening now so you know Indie: locked you down w out locking in a date i get it Rio: Yeah Rio: what do you think then Rio: honest Indie: its sick news Indie: the boy be acting right & appreciating what he got 👑👑💖💖 Rio: i'm so glad you think so Rio: thanks, babe Rio: ain't gonna make a big song and dance and tell everyone but i ain't gonna hide it either Rio: know everyone gonna have an opinion, again Rio: just can't get enough, clearly 😂 Indie: feelin the love that you spoke it to me Indie: the only opinion that counts b that he aint finding no better hoe here, in the 24 or anywhere Indie: facts Rio: You gonna make me cry and they gonna throw me out this boujee ass store Indie: wipe dem tears on 💸💸💸 so they kno you can hang still Rio: 😂 Rio: already gonna be out here wearing someone's college tuition on my finger like Rio: see why people do this more than once, get a nice collection going Indie: mckenna gon 😭😭😭 boy is soft Indie: dont let him hear you chatting bout no round 2 Rio: 😏 Rio: poor baby, don't be mean Indie: catch me getting married never i gotta live this thru you amp bitches Rio: Fair, didn't ever expect I would Indie: gon kick it old school like your nan 👶👶👶👶👶 but no 💍 Rio: 😖 Glad you out here thinking so highly of me bitch 😜 Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: is you got the fear tho for reals or nah? Rio: It's weird Rio: I know it's what I want like I didn't even think about saying nah but Rio: you have every other voice in your head saying it's too quick or we shouldn't even be together at all, you know Indie: i feel it Indie: i got em in mine tryna chat against everything i tryna do all the time Indie: gotta just chat back that they bein dry Rio: Yeah Rio: you right Indie: how we celebratin this?? thats what i wanna be knowing Rio: we should go out for dinner Indie: catch me thirdwheelin over 🍝 soz baby boy 💋 Rio: shh nah, it'll be good, there are some fancy places that do food you'll actually eat so we can live lavish Indie: tell him bring a friend if he rollin w any still 😂😂😏💘😏 Rio: Not tryna get you NONE at my engagement party tah Rio: get you fill o the food tho 😋 Indie: it aint gotta be heavy Indie: been long since anyone meshed me tho so help a hoe out Rio: hmm don't be tryna play addickted Rio: i'll get you a vibrator, like Rio: not to say go fuck yourself but Indie: 😂😂😂😂 when your ma been out for the day & brings home 🎁🎁s like Rio: pah, he'd actually die of embarrassment Indie: when you out your man as vanilla tho Indie: o mckenna Rio: I just don't reckon he wants to think 'bout you meshing Rio: no offence, like Indie: back trecking like its your job baby Indie: 👀 you & his ways Rio: 🙈 den gurl Indie: too late to swerve dat 🏩 Rio: 🙄 just be thankful i never brought it to ours when we was sharing Indie: safe Indie: I kno you in your ☁ rn but when you back cos shit b testing me & dat 2 drink minimum Rio: What's up? Indie: ex-boy got a new 💘 so he tryna pass my shit back but cos i aint there hes @ the squad & they vexed @ me cos of Indie: 💔💔💔💔💔 Rio: 😔 Rio: Are the lads gonna get it or nah Rio: Don't suppose it's worth seeing if Drew still wanna be Dad of the year one last time, like Rio: may as well use him if he's offering, yeah? Indie: things been heated since the 🐕 & what of mine they are holding so like no beef to the lads but idk Indie: am i tryna text him ever tho 😒😒😒 Rio: Yeah, we'll go 'round the houses when I'm back Rio: someone will go get it Rio: don't worry Rio: we won't be long now Indie: & like not tryna still have love for that boy but aint it mad quick miss me for a few after you dash me Rio: It is Rio: but I ain't surprised, it's how lads, esp lads like that, do Rio: doesn't mean it didn't mean nothing to him necessarily Rio: could still be crying 'bout it in your inbox in a few, not trying to give false hope even 'cos fuck him Indie: i dont wanna be hurtin over this no more Indie: gotta get not bothered Rio: I know Rio: fake it 'til you make it, babe Rio: all you can do Indie: innit tho Indie: tell mckenna to buy me bling too thatll help 😂😂😂😂 Rio: 😂 Rio: 'course Indie: not saying he gotta drop a rents worth on the drip like Indie: just how much he feelin Rio: also not tryna be your sisterwife like Indie: no mood Indie: he vanilla but i aint tryna compete w your moves still Rio: Teach you but I'd have to charge Indie: hes on daddy hype too hard i cant be chattin like that to him or no lad soz boy Rio: Don't really put you in any mood but 😒? Rio: Fair Indie: why drop 💸💸💸💸 on therapy when you can spend on 🚬 its all good Rio: It ain't Rio: but we'll make it Indie: you reckon drews gon show w 👶🎁🎁🎁 or imma be repin for the fam? Rio: I don't know if that'd even enter his head Rio: tbh Indie: she could ⛔ us all in a big sweep Indie: me you & him Rio: She could Rio: I don't think she will you though, babe Rio: not like you've done shit wrong Indie: she just aint about me Indie: i feel it w her too Indie: itll b how itll b Rio: yeah but she can't be that petty Rio: even if she wanna Rio: she's a grown ass woman Indie: neither of em out here acting like they grown Indie: why she gonna start when she have this kid Rio: 'cos she'll have to Rio: unlike Drew she can't just pass it around and hope everyone else does it for her Indie: yeah but she know your ma in law got her back & your real Rio: She can't let Bea raise her kid for her Rio: or Ma Rio: anyway, she's got too much pride in everything not related to Drew, trust Indie: tru Rio: I promise, it's gonna be fine Indie: i got trust in you babe thats how im here Rio: 💘💘💘 Indie: dont be letting it slip now you got 💍 Rio: Never Indie: its chill then Indie: what we tryna wear tonite bitch? Rio: got enough trust in me to lemme pick you up some fresh garms or? Indie: hmmm Indie: cos you in a ☁ yeah Indie: theres your engagement gift ✌ Indie: do it how you gonna Rio: 😂 you know I'm good Rio: and no 👗s Rio: not taking the piss Indie: 👀 Indie: no 🤡ing Rio: would I do a thing like that? Indie: nah but mckenna will if he gets pissy you aint shopping for him 😂😂😂 Rio: We already had to treat him 'cos you know Rio: men don't cuffed 'til the day of Indie: you rode him in there say no more 🤐🤐🍾🍾 Rio: 😂 Rio: Not what I meant even but not gonna lie Indie: 😏😏😏 Indie: i been knew Rio: Keeping it unpredictable is our predictable, babe Indie: you out there vibin 😍😍😍 its a day when you can be extra Indie: make most Rio: As if there's a day when I ain't 😉 Rio: At least my Ma can't say shit to me, she was a marriage and 2 kids deep by now with Eds on the way so Indie: his gon get vocal tho man i feel it Indie: 👀 his dad @ me like 😒 how she livin Rio: I know Rio: Hoping they don't notice, like lemme forget which finger this meant to go on Rio: 😬 Indie: she gon be busy @ the business end of her sis when we hit dubs you all good 😂😂😂😂 Indie: & you could always swerve it so the 💎 not facing out when they 👀 Indie: ✌ hacks Rio: am I tryna stop a muggin' or 😂 Rio: you jokes Rio: also never wanna think about her business end thanks 😷 Indie: innit her drum not got dem thin walls like ours 🙏🙏🙏 or they aint vocal how you and mckenna do Rio: Literally can't imagine how this baby came to be Rio: but I'm chill with that, I don't wanna Indie: used that medical shit fr he aint been near her thats how i clue it Rio: i'm creasing rn and can't even explain 'cos nah Indie: serious she that bitch you tryna lips her & she gotta go shower Rio: I know Rio: Childbirth gonna break her 'less she got that c-section on lock Indie: hit her w all the good gear 🚀🚀🚀🚀 Rio: Probably wanna do it without for the brag idk Indie: o snap Indie: truuuuuuuu Rio: She gotta be ready to drop any day, like Indie: 👀 &👂 Indie: we turnin up if she want us or nah Indie: how many mckennas 👶👶s you gon have? Rio: We'll be about, can't avoid School forever Rio: and shut up bitch 😂 Indie: cmon man i kno you 💭 on it Indie: he a pretty boy Rio: nah Rio: i got a life to live babe Indie: your ma been proved you can have it all bitch Indie: birth dem 👶👶s give em posh names & send em to fancy school like they da Rio: yeah n she given me enough sibs to never need my own Rio: not to mention all your drama 😜 Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: im a drama free zone now ty what you sayin Rio: whilst we in this postcode maybe Rio: but not for long babe Indie: nah for long imma be swervin that shit ✌✌ Indie: any postcode Rio: 👏 sounds good to me too Indie: got ink to jog me if i tryna slip Rio: yeah Rio: least you didn't get the M too Indie: like i been said id just put an a on it for that shoutout to my 3 mas baby 💖💖💖 all good Rio: there's always that Rio: if you really want you can add to it Rio: reclaim it, like Indie: hacks Indie: but i aint got no 💸💸💸💸 for Rio: I can pay Rio: or Ma would do it Indie: o yeah Indie: imma hit her up when we home Rio: Have you decided where you gonna be? Indie: mayb w bills cos she 😢💔 idk Rio: Yeah? Indie: if edie back then naaaaah Indie: or if drew been locked up can squat in the flat til it reclaimed Rio: We'll work something out Rio: I'll probably look for a new place Indie: you not gon move in mckennas dubs yard like you own that? Rio: Don't think the rest of 'em would appreciate that like 😏 Indie: other mckenna would rollin in that big drum solo gotta be dry Rio: Yeah still don't think I'm housemate choice no.1 Indie: thats her bad cos you 👑👑👑🔥🔥🔥👑👑👑 Rio: 💘💘💘 Rio: You biased Indie: nah i not Indie: im not here for drew just cos he blood Rio: Anyway, can't be presuming that's how he wanna be living, like Indie: is it? Rio: Yeah, he ain't coming here 'til October imagine if I'd legit moved myself in 😂 Indie: he put a 💍 on it how he not gon be down Rio: that's like rule no 1 init Rio: gotta make sure you've got your own taken care of in case everything goes tits Indie: safe Indie: 👑 moves be like Rio: If I really was probably shoulda said no shouldn't I Rio: kick it like his Ma Indie: if he wants a girl like his ma you need to have a convo Indie: that some freaky shit Rio: 😂 Rio: psych101 would blow your mind Indie: i aint even tyna kno what you mean Indie: old white dudes be cracked Rio: Yeah wouldn't have you buzzin' 'bout your daddy issues Indie: what they sayin bout? i wanna fuck drew now? plot twist fam Rio: you know Rio: we all do but clearly got it twisted 'cos my type ain't ever been my da Rio: no offence boy but Indie: your da be 😍😍😍 god bless Rio: have we swapped? 😂 Indie: he raised me higher than drew done so Indie: daddy caleb come thru Rio: 😷 Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: Such a grown convo Indie: hoe im keepin you grounded Indie: livin that grown life 24 7 w mckenna Rio: tru Rio: it's a madness i should still be in school Rio: i feel so 👵 fr Indie: you is Rio: cheeky cow Rio: meant to hype me not wreck me 😂 Indie: he be too tho Indie: so tamed its a madness Indie: remember how he used roll Rio: well you know Rio: 😻 game so strong Indie: you no need my hype bitch Indie: you know what you done Rio: You reckon Indie: girl aint be gettin a callback you got 💍💎💎 & 💒 hype Indie: he kicked it long distance for you & he aint putting in effort no way fore then Rio: Yeah Rio: ignore me Rio: just the fear init Indie: get a new drink Indie: chase that Rio: 🍾 Indie: check your boy i bet he aint feelin no fear Rio: He wouldn't say if he was Indie: hed chat it to you Indie: that boy always talking Rio: 😂 thought you reckoned he was the strong silent type Indie: that was afore he was my new daddy Indie: now i 👀 Rio: 😏 Poor boy Rio: I'll keep it on the dl, protect his ego Indie: ill keep it uncommon knowledge to protect this roof over Rio: yeah, least wait 'til you safe in the 24 to be rude 😜 Indie: innit Rio: right, we heading back Indie: ✌✌ Indie: in a few Indie: less he wants you all to himself Rio: he already been had that Indie: he gave you 💎 you can give him a day 😂😂😂 Rio: is it? Rio: why you want air? 👀 Indie: jam ma im tryna do you & your mans a solid Indie: fore i 3rd wheel your nite like Indie: aint this bitch in your pocket & way when we rollin in the 24 Rio: hmm Rio: if you're sure Indie: trust Rio: then we'll be back with your garms and the reservation later then Indie: safe Indie: dont be doing anything i aint tryna Indie: 💖💖💖💖💖 Rio: 🧡🧡🧡
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My take on our MysMessian chat-nerds...
And why I chose who I chose ...
(These aint facts or anything, they're just ... Opinions and thoughts and how I interpret it. I could be entirely wrong about some things but eh)
Jumin: An extremely serious and "cold" character. From what I've seen so far, he would be date-able™, but hes a tad too serious. This lass needs someone with a sense of humor and an open fire of a heart, and Jumin might be a good friend or so, but from what I've noticed, he's rather distant and constantly busy, which makes him seem like he's constantly surrounded by people who need him to be "professional"
Seven/707: This guy... He's definitely a funny guy. He's constantly joking and could probably have you wheezing of laughter on the bathroom floor at 4am when you've been trying to brush your teeth for a solid 2 hours after a night of movies and snacks. But to me, (like I've stated above, these aint facts, these are just my thoughts and opinions) Seven hardly takes anything actually seriously. Maybe after a tragedy... (He'd definitely laugh at the story of how I drank water and accidentally got water in the "air vents" and I got stubborn and tried chugging down even more water and nearly drowned. I laughed at it, dont worry, it was just stupid) But in My opinion, hed rather be one of my best friends. Someone you can meme around with and if you're feeling down, he's definitely there for you to laugh with instead. But he's... Too much memes, too little serious. So he's opposite of Jumin.
Zen: Do I need to say anything else others than that this man would most likely have a huge dilemma wether to kiss you or the mirror next to you...? He'd be on a debate with himself for an hour. But dont worry! I think he's a gentleman as well! He would probably take good care of you. He also seems protective and loving and would smash walls to rescue you. But he loves his work so much. Or should I say... Works... He would also be busy and your life would most likely be filled with paparazzis as soon as you stepped out the door. This man loves the attention, and even though he may seem like a desperate man on search for a new Girl, rumor has it he's never cheated. But too full of himself, and definitely too full of fancrowds and work!
Jaehee: im not gay
But!
If I was!
This Girl, first of all, seems to have her heart set on Zen. But others than that, she's a very calm person. She's got emotions, but others seems to think she's a robot. An assistant, and nothing more... However, as her friend, I've/we've seen more than that! She talks about her emotions sometimes, how she's sad that nobody sees her as a human. Id totally call this girl over to my home and have a girls night and just let her relax and feel that she can trust someone. I havent made any move on her, others than being friendly, and even though I know she's "just a bot" in a game, I can't help but respect this womans feelings. So I took a harsh step back from Zen and let her know that Im not set to be her rival. Im actually working almost equally as much (as the opportunities comes to me) to try and get Zen to notice her. Sadly, I made the mistake in the beginning of not acknowledging her feelings for him, and Zen was in the beginning my main boy. I was completely set on Zen until this woman started showing signs of emotions towards him.
Yoosung: This is the last boy I know is "date-able" in the game... i bet there's more... But eh.
Yoosung is a cheerful young man, with many emotions and feelings. He seems like a mess at some points, but he's also a gentle soul. He's caring, and very smart, but not intelligent enough to not be an easy target for tricks and teasing... He's a gamer, and tries to get more hobbies besides "LOLOL" - The game. He's also seemingly a good cook and I value that. I love to cook, personally, and anyone who can cook, friend or more, is of high respect. It shows some sort of health and competence somehow... But then again, Im a cancer, so I love my home. He seems to do so as well! I also play games and do nerdy shit so we'd come along fine. This... Is actually the person I least expected to think was interesting enough. He's rather feminine, and more a boy than a man, but I suppose my irl boyfriend is the same. Except my irl boy is a bit more mature... (im just playing this godforsaken game to see what its about. Im not.. actually... Crushing... On anyone here...)
Anyway. Yoosung is also the person I relate to the most. He drinks alot of milk chocolate even, and tries joining the coffee-barista club! Which both of those drinks, I hold dear to the very core of my heart. He plays games... And he's so emotional. He's both funny and serious as well, plays games but also studies... Id say he's rather balanced!
So I chose that guy because of all those reasons.
And he reminds me of my irl boy as well... So yeah :^)
#mysmes#mysme 707#mysme jumin#mysme yoosung#mysme zen#mysme jaehee#mysme#mystic messenger#mysticmessenger#thoughts#opinions
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Alrighty. EFF IT- LIFE UPDATE POST!
Soooo a lot of good things have been happening in my life. I know from my posts I sound bitter, sad, heartbroken, blah blah but its been a rough time in my life and I’m finally understanding and accepting my life, my lessons, my blessings, my mistakes and experiences. *Someone told me recently my blog is very raw* but I like to keep it real and what not, plus no one knows me on here lol i have followers from all over the US to international countries as well. Also I feel like I haven’t done an “intro” about myself in a long time.. I think since I’ve started blogging so what the hell…. this is going to be long but hey whatever!
Intro!-
Hey guys! Im Salia Sheikh, 25 (old af, jk!), I look younger than my age (thanks to good genes lol), I am still in school, pursuing a career in Business. I love to read, write (duh I have a blog for a reason!), paint, work out, try new food, BIG FOOD JUNKIE, binge watch amazing shows on Netflix (bae for life), I love the color purple and blue. If school wasnt so damn expensive and I didnt have a timelime (being brown aint fun… sometimes) I would definitely get a degree in business of course, dermatology and psychology. I love learning new things and expanding my mind. I come off as a bitch sometimes to people because of the way my face can be… AKA RESTING BITCH FACE. But honestly its just me observing and understanding how people think and work. I know I am a weirdo but whatever! Humans are so freaking interesting. Oh did I mention I live in PNW!? Seattle. <3 Rain city lol. If I could live anywhere else it would be California, Chicago or New York. Anywho enough about me… lets get into the juicy stuff right?
This summer I had a lot going on! I was at the doctors a lot, i went through a lot exams for my breast cancer and it was a very rough time… but I got through it. Alhumdulillah I have such amazing friends and family to support me and were there for me. Along with that, I went through a very harsh break up and I know that a few posts below this one I went off on my ex FJ, but in this post Im not going to bash on him or anything. Honestly…. my tumblr isnt made to bash on anyone. I wouldnt want to be talked about on the internet but sadly… it happens. So anyways, I went through a rough heart break that honestly I dont blame anyone but myself and because of this heartbreak I am beyond hard on myself with a lot of things but especially guarding my heart, my feelings and letting anyone in. I was told by someone that I wore my heart on my sleeve and that I took this relationship too seriously. Its true, I was madly and crazy in love with him but he wasnt. I would push and force him to make it work but when the other person doesnt see any solution or anything to fix it, you should really just back off Sally. One person cant do all the work, it becomes so draining. I literally have so much love to give but at the same time Im just kind of tired, exhausted, bitter and numb. Its weird because I just said Im full of love but at the same time a heart break really gets you guarded. But you know this was a lesson for myself, to not get ahead of yourself, dont have expectations and if you arent getting what you deserve please walk the fuck away, like ASAP. Just abort lol. Because at the end of the day as hurt as I was, I made myself go through hell because I chose to be like very stupid, LIKE VERY. But at the same time, I take it as a blessing in disguise in many ways and a lesson I would love to teach my daughters and possibly sons. Anywho… along with this I was in school UGH, but because I have a goal and I am so motivated I didnt let it affect my school at all. One thing I did do in the past was let such little things like this get in the way of my focus in school and at the end of the day my dreams and career will be right next to me but the person whos temporary will not be. I will not sacrifice my school for anything. This summer I went to Atlanta with all of my cousins and we had so much fun! And then I came back and attended another wedding. It was a lot of chaos but a lot of fun. I come from a very huge family on both sides, and if youre brown you know three day weddings are HECTIC AS HELL! But I gotta say it was a roller coaster type summer.
Once all of the wedding shenanigans were over and all of my cousins flew back to the East Coast and I started school again. After my break up I really started focusing on my mental health, focusing on school, having a better relationship with my parents (its been a rough road but alhumdulillah I am so blessed with such amazing parents. esp my mom helping me a lot through my break up and all .) I didnt even think about talking to any guys or whatever it was literally not even in my head because I was so focused on myself. But a little birdie out of the blue and into my life for a short time but a sweet time. HA is literally every brown girls dream man. A little white wash (EDM LOVER), knows urdu, deen, open minded, handsome as hell… and family orientated. OH AND TREATS A WOMAN RIGHT! Honestly my first impression was like “fuck boy. STRAIGHT UP F BOY! Cocky, too into himself, thinks hes better than anyone…” OH ALSO- didnt meet him off of dating apps lol, its called IG thats the new hook up spot jk! But when you actually talk to him and stuff omg… he is so different. I dont think I have laughed this much while talking to someone, he is so hilarious. He opened my mind to a lot of things that I didnt know about or he pushed me to see things differently, which I loved. When we started talking I was very upfront and blunt with him. As a brown girl I dont have the freedom to just get up and leave for a guy. Period. He understood that and accepted it. He told me he had no expectations. What I really liked about him was that he would always communicate, he was very honest and he was really respectful. When I say REALLY RESPECTFUL, like super. We were talking about our exes (no I didnt say bad shit lol) and he brought it up and he told me that his ex would everyday for six months since they were together would ask, “when are we getting engaged?” Not once did he say, omg shes bat shit crazy.. or annoying or whatever. He just said that much and he was like “you know I felt pressured and I wanted to explain myself why I broke up with her.” I mean if he wanted too he could made her the victim… but damn. Very kind. Not just that when he came here he was showing me a convo with this girl who was kind of mentally not there, and she would act weird its really hard to explain but he talked to her respectfully and was like “hey listen if you want to make friends you have – “ something along those lines. He was just really nice to her because he knew that something wasnt right with that girl at all. I mean I know a lot of people who would straight up just cuss her out… like without a doubt. I remember one time he asked me over FaceTime, “why are you waiting after you get your degree to get married?” I kind of just ignored it lol. But then one night he was with his cousins and cousin’s wife in DC and he FT’d me and all I heard was a girl yelling, “Who are you talking too!? Who is this bitch!?” And he goes “oh this is bae”, and after she saw me (without make up and my raspy voice at 12am lol) she was like “OMG SHES SO PRETTY and her voice is so cute! Shes such a good girl being at home lol.” Then he goes, “Hani, ask her why she wont get married while being in school?” And she said, “look Im 23, still in CC and Im married, you can too.” I wasnt going to put anyone under the bus and be like “well arent you going to be rolling the dice on me!?” - (because someone said that once to me…) like I said, I dont bash on my ex at all. Even after that, he asked me again lol, “IF we were to get married why wont you get married, transfer your credits and stuff? You can work if you like but even if you dont its okay… just go to school. I gotchu bae.” Im just like “uhh…. wouldnt you want someone who has everything set?” He literally probably wanted to slap me for saying that and he was like “No… what am I here for?” Honestly he was so accepting of me, my past, my dreams, my goals, honestly everything. Even when he came here it was like I knew him from a long time ago, it wasnt causing me to have anxiety or feel scared. We laughed so much, watched so many shows and ate such amazing food. OMG. It was so good to be true, i mean we trusted each other, communication was there. He told me some things that really made me realize wow he is so freaking amazing… His brother doesnt have his AA or degree, his sister in law has her AA but he helps a lot around the house. Hes such a good son and omg, when I say more guys should be like him I MEAN IT. He was suppose to be a police man lol but then he went back to school and took a few classes and became a consultant. He didnt have a stable job until he came back to VA. I mean he was on contract to contract and even jobless for a few months but he was so positive and happy, which is why I loved being around him. Whenever he would FT me, he would be around his cousins and they would always say, “H is so loyal and faithful, family orientated and he will treat you right.” like as if I didnt know that lol. But you know after he left something really unexpected happened and it wasnt in our control to save it. But it was no ones fault either, sometimes life does a plot twist on you when you least expect it but I had accepted the unexpected and like someone wise said (Jatin, this is your shoutout), “you cant compete with history.” It took me a while to understand but I definitely knew that he was always honest, communicated with me and he was amazing. We didnt really need closure but trust me the way we had closure was like I dont even need to talk about this again. Not every situation needs it but sometimes you need it. But you know, this was Gods way of showing me and saying, “Salia… dont lose faith in guys. There are good guys out there.” And you know, there are. But I dont want anyone right now. Im perfectly fine being single. Plus I am already a brat, sassy mc sassy… with me being a little numb sometimes… I think I have a lot to say sometimes and I have a strong personality lol, it would drive someone nuts. But Idk everytime I talk about HA my heart melts just a little because I was treated with so much respect and he would always tell me that I was a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. But sometimes good things dont last forever. I accepted it.
Along with losing him, I chose to cut off a friend who meant the world to me. She was like a little sister and a best friend. After going through so much in just a few months I realized what I want, who I want in my life and what Im going to do about it. I cant handle negativity… like AT ALL. Friends are suppose to support you, be happy for you and be there for you. This friend lol.. she wasnt there for me at all during my break up, i get it YOU DONT LIKE FJ but I need my girl to be there for me.. shit. I felt like she was jealous and trust me I aint hot shit… Im very like normal, pakistani, short girl… living life. But the vibe and the way she started acting about HA was weird. None of my best friends asked me questions like, “Did he kiss you?” like what…. thats not why he flew here for from VA…. But either way she was asking weird questions like, “was it just fun and games”- PAUSE! So I know Im 25, brown girls get the pressure once theyre in their 20s… But I am in no rush to get married and that is not because I dont have a degree- TO HELL WITH THAT. I can burn that shit and I would still be amazing. But like you dont talk to a guy and jump into the marriage topic, wth? HA and I had a very clear understanding that we are going to take baby steps, no telling parents, siblings, whatever… no labels. TAKE IT SLOW. But either way she was just a total bitch. She loves saying, “I told you so.” Either way I had enough of her, her nazar (evil eye) and negativity. Like I dont need that… I need to be around people who support me, love me and dont bash on my ass. I love my circle small and ever since I cut her off of my life, I am doing so much better because I dont have a gun to my head. It wasn’t even over a guy that I ended our friendship… it was because she wasn’t a good friend and she was jealous. She was never truly happy for me about anything. She envied the relationship I have with my mom and would always be like oh your mom was okay with that? Isk just very weird vibes…. I really wish that she changes her way of approach and what not. No guy is going to love a girl who expects so much and no girl is going to be with a friend who is so judgemental as fuck. Period. I never cuss any of my girlfriends out ever. But she really pissed me off and I felt judged and like a hoe. I really dont need that, thanks anyways.
Now that I got that out of my way, like I said earlier… I have been working on myself. I started going to the gym but its been a while because of school and working a ton of hours. But now that I am on break I am going to go back to the gym, start reading my book- EVERYONE MUST READ “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life“- literally eye opening and so funny! It has changed my life. Reading really does help with your knowledge and growing as a person. If anyone knows any good reads, please drop me a message! :) Im also going to start reading the Quran but in English translation because I really want to know what Im reading and what the Quran is saying, I just want to self educate myself and know about my religion, I am not religious at all… but one thing I do want to start doing is praying and being connected with Allah. I think having a spiritual connection is so good for the mind and soul.
As I was turning 25 I was thinking a lot about myself, my past and my future. I am a thinker but I also love testing myself. When I was 23 going to 24 I was a very weak person. I was fragile and sensitive to a lot of things. I didnt have thick skin at all. I will admit that and I was little a push over. I lost myself at the age of 23, I had a stalker who ruined my life. I never had anxiety my whole life… I took everything like it was nothing. But after dealing with that… it made me weak. I wasnt the Salia that everyone knew. But now that Im past it, I went through some tough stuff in 2017… it made me wiser, smarter, grateful and stronger. I dont get affected by anything lately… and I was very hesitant to post this but its my blog, my page and I will do whatever to it. Plus I love to write. I feel like a lot has happened but I have been just writing bits and pieces here and there. But I guess I thought I would write something its been a while. lol.
ALSO- Im flying out to Arizona next week for the weekend and I am so excited! to celebrate and have a vacation and to be not dealing with school for a month! Hell yaaaaaa. *THIS WAS MY FAV LIFE UPDATE IN THIS LONGGGGGG POST*
Okay guys… its 1246am here! Im off to bed. Have fun reading this, judging this, whatever you want :D
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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now
Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?
Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?
Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!
Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.
She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?
HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas ❤
Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.
Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.
Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:
HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.
We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.
Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.
Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.
Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.
The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.
The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??
Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.
Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.
Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .
Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.
Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?
Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.
Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.
Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.
Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.
Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?
Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.
PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.
Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.
There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.
They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?
They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.
Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.
The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.
The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?
Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?
Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!
Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?
Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.
EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!
Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.
Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.
Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?
Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like
Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.
She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.
NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.
She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?
Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.
Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.
Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.
Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.
Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.
Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.
However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.
Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.
Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.
Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.
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Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/
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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now
Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?
Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?
Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!
Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.
She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?
HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas <3
Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.
Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.
Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:
HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.
We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.
Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.
Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.
Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.
The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.
The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??
Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.
Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.
Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .
Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.
Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?
Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.
Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.
Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.
Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.
Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?
Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.
PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.
Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.
There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.
They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?
They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.
Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.
The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.
The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?
Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?
Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!
Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?
Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.
EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!
Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.
Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.
Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?
Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like
Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.
She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.
NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.
She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?
Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.
Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.
Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.
Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.
Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.
Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.
However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.
Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.
Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.
Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.
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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163039991272
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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now
Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?
Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?
Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!
Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.
She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?
HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas <3
Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.
Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.
Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:
HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.
We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.
Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.
Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.
Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.
The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.
The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??
Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.
Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.
Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .
Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.
Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?
Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.
Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.
Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.
Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.
Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?
Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.
PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.
Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.
There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.
They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?
They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.
Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.
The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.
The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?
Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?
Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!
Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?
Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.
EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!
Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.
Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.
Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?
Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like
Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.
She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.
NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.
She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?
Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.
Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.
Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.
Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.
Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.
Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.
However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.
Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.
Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.
Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.
div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/
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Pretty Little Liars Recap: Yes, We’re Back, You Can All Mellow TF Out Now
Well okay, a girl goes on vacation for one week and gets no internet and suddenly people freak tf out about no recap last week. Not that I blame youIm fucking hilarious. But hello, Im back so could you just like, chill for a sec?
Since service was not on my side last week, Ill be sure to touch up on points from last week in this recap. Because Im like, such a good friend. Also, last weeks episode wasnt even that good *cough, cough, like this whole show, cough* OMG who said that?
Tiffany: OMG Britney! Britney: What? You were thinking it! Tiffany: Yeah but you said it!
Last week Hanna decided shes sick of putting up with the other liars’ baby back bullshit. She knows Noel was the one who tortured her and shes here to fuck shit up. She told Caleb she was off the grid and bounced. This episode is going to be directed by Quentin Tarentino.
She told the Liars shes off to NYC, and they think thats weird. Like why would any leave Rosewood? Its so homey here! Only like 3 people have been murdered in a month! Its really on the come up. But Hannas too busy playing with her DIY murder kit to give a fuck. Did you get those murder ideas off Pinterest?
HANNAS BOARD: Murder Ideas <3
Last week Ezra went off to South America with all the little birdies and the monkeys to try and find Nicole.
Basically, we dont know about this whole engagement thing, especially since Aria lied about that phone call. Aria says Ezra called her when he got to South America and they found hostages, but they arent sure if Nicole is one of them.
Spencer is like wow Ezra must be overwhelmed! And if Hanna was there you can bet this conversation would have happened:
HANNA: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed? SPENCER: I think you can in Europe.
We found out that MD had another kid besides Charlotte and that the kid was adopted and around the same age as the Liars. They all think its Noel Kahn, but thats like, way too easy. They decide that Aria is going to look for record of the adoption while Spencer goes and spies on Noel.
Emily is going to continue to be the useless college dropout and go interview for the swim coach job at Rosewood High. Against Paige, who unfortunately reappeared in our lives last week. Maybe Paige can lend Emily Neds Declassified Interview Survival Guide.
Hanna does a dramatic reading to a videotape about how shes going to do some shit. Why does Hanna think she is competent enough to pull this shit off? Like know yourself, know your worth.
Spencer supposedly has a search engine that looks up people? Where do I get that? Is there a 3 month free trial like Apple Music, which I had to fucking download to get Frank Oceans album? Frank Ocean is the only gay man to continuously fuck me.
The gardener/detective comes by and says that Snaggle fled to France. Huh, I guess hes on vacation too. Then he hits on Spencer. Wow, he got over that unsolved case fast. She tells him its too soon because her and Caleb just broke up and he leaves her his card *cough, cough, DOUCHE, cough*.
The Coffee Girl is eating cake and Emily comes in like oh look at that! A treat. Tell me, do you like your muffin buttered? Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin? The cake order is for Noel Kahn and Emilys like , and Coffee Girl is like ??
Aria and that sexy motherfucker Jason meet up. Last week we learned that they def had a thing before and were like SO fucking jealous.
Jason thinks AD is still in Rosewood and that he set fire to the basement. God, Jason is better than the cops are. Aria tells Jason what they found in the basement: paperwork basically saying Jessica was a piece of shit and proof of MDs other child. Also, MD is still missing. Freeform could only afford her for 6 episodes. Sad, all love.
Jason thinks that his mom was killed for the secrets MD had and Aria convinces him to go to the courthouse with her and help her get more information. Hes hoping he gets a chance to tap that in the waiting room, so hes like, .
Hanna follows Noel to a dumpster where he throws out a trash bag, because like duh, its a fucking dumpster. Hanna decides to dumpster dive afterwards and digs through his shit, finding a phone thats broken AF but with Saras face on it. Sketch.
Emily and Paige are filling out applications in a classroom right next to each other like its a fucking standardized test. Emily is like should I lie about being arrested? and says shes never done one of these things. What? Youve never tried to be a functioning member of society before?
Also, I wouldnt lie about your criminal record. This isnt like saying youre proficient in Excel. They will background check you. Its a fucking school, not a job at Hollister.
Paige is like, dont worry, the teachers know youre a fucking psycho! and Emilys like glad they dont ask me about committing crimes, phew! Yeah, youre #blessed they dont know that shit. Paige tells Emily that shes a great person, blah blah, incessant lesbian chatter, blah.
Aria and Jason are waiting at the courthouse when Aria flashes back to the time that she and Jason slept together. Ugh we hate Aria. Anyways, it seemed like she and Jason were dating. Jason is going to Ethiopia and asks Aria to come with him. Aria is like ugh what am I gonna do in Ethiopia? Help starving people? I mean, come on, Jason. Whats with all these dudes going to third world countries for charity? I knew like, one person who did that and they were Mormon and like, spreading the word of our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
Emily finishes her interview, which she wore a flannel to. We get it, youre a lesbian. God forbid you own anything business casual. Never know when youll need to sub in for a random softball game.
Paige says she misses Emily and Emily is like yeah, I have a girlfriend but like, Im gonna dump her, but like, I have a girlfriend. But Paige knew that because she fucking stalks Emily. NBD.
Emily tells Paige that A is back and Paige is like omg tell your girlfriend! Itll make your relationship great! Is this reverse psychology?
Hanna meets her local roofie dealer and gets her drugs. Hes like youre the first girl Ive sold to. Wow, this is actually a fucking disgusting scene.
PLL WRITERS: I got it! Usually we make fun of blind people, but this time lets make light of date rape! FREEFORM: Genius.
Spencer gets Noels address from her moms campaign manager, no questions asked. Spencer and Emily go alone to Noels cabin in the woods, because, fucking duh. They realize that the cabin is in the same place that Hanna was held captive and reminds them of the bunker they were tortured in. But yeah, lets just continue breaking in alone.
There is a security camera and Spencer busts it so they can break in. Theyre snooping around and just cant seem to find the pesky evidence that he murdered and tortured people. This aint his first rodeo. I doubt hes gonna leave a fucking bloody knife in the entry way.
They find a box with a stamp on it and Spencers like You needed a stamp to get into the Kahns parties!! Wtf? Where were his parties? Vegas?
They find a flash drive, plug it into Noels computer and find the videos of him torturing them in the dollhouse. Hes planting blood on Spencer and Spencer starts crying and its a mess. Anyways, they steal the flashdrive and gtfo.
Meanwhile Aria and Jason get their number called right as the news report from South America comes up. Arias like brb, sorry about being kidnapped and all Nicole, but I got shit to do.
The lady at the desk says there is nothing she can do for Jason and Aria tells the woman his whole sob story. Any other court clerk would be like yeah, we dont care. But not this court clerk, shes a cool court clerk.
The woman is like youre lucky to have a fianc that cares so much!! Jason agrees shes special because saying actually she isnt my fianc is too much work. The woman says she will try and find something for them and will fax it by the end of the day. People still own faxes?
Spencer wants to give the tape of the torture to the police and Aria says they cant without Hanna. Spencers like Like Aria, can you pull your head out of Hannas ass for a second?
Emily finds out that Hanna is not in New York and everyone is so shocked. Like, how could she lie to us?! This never happens!
Coffee Girl comes over and Emilys like Coffee Girl says she has a break at work and wants to go to dinner. Wtf how long are your breaks? Where are you going to eat for your 15 minute break? Taco Bell?
Coffee Girl is like and Emilys like Coffee Girl made her cupcakes and is like eat darling.
EMILY: Im on an all-carb diet, Coffee Girl! God youre so stupid!
Everyone is trying to find Hanna before she does something fucking moronic. Fat chance.
Speaking of morons, Hannah blackmails Noel for Saras phone. Why does Saras phone have a selfie of her as the background? Like wtf, you couldnt like, take a picture of a flower or something? God, Sara annoys me even after her death.
Hanna crushes up the drugs like a hardened pro and puts on her totally great disguise: a baseball hat. Yeah, cause no one is going to tilt their head a little bit and figure out who the fuck that is. You have A wearing custom made masks and youre here with a fucking ball cap? What is this? Amateur hour? A center for ants?
Noel shows up to the bar and Hanna buys him a beer and drugs the fuck outta it. Casual. Hanna sits with Noel and is like
Hanna makes up a story about how she is getting questioned for Saras death and is like look I know it was you, so why dont we be each others alibi? You scratch my back, I scratch yours. Noels like see the funny thing about my back is that its located on my cock.also I actually fucking hate you.
She offers Noel the beer and hes like He manhandles Hanna to get the phone and tells her to be careful or shell end up like Sara.
NOEL: You fell victim to one of the classic blundersthe most famous of which is “never get involved in a land war in Asia”but only slightly less well-known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line”! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha…
Spencer goes home because her moms car alarm is going offduh this shit is about to be a trap. All the lights go off because they are in a storm and shes like ah, what a perfect time to watch the videos of me being tortured.
She decides to call the police, or at least that detective guy. If she cant get a police report at least she can probs get a quickie out of it. Win-win, am I right?
Then a tree branch breaks through a window, the doors swing open, and Spencer sees someone in the doorway. She grabs a knife and the detective is there. She tells him someone is in the house and he goes off searching. She looks, and big shock, the flashdrive is missing. You had one job.
Jason and Aria are having a candlelit discussion and trying to not make it romantic. Jason would be naked like .4 seconds into a conversation, candlelit or not, with me. Just sayin.
Aria tells Jason that shes worried about her future with Ezra and Jason is like you two are meant to be!!! Is this the episode where all the jealous exes lie? Just wondering.
Aria flashbacks to Jason trying to convince her to go to Ethiopia, and shes like well, heres the thing. She took a cushy job at a publishing companyof course the one that published Ezras work. Jason figured that out and calls her on it and shes like _()_/.
Jason tells her basically if Ezra dumps her for the little hostage girl, hell be waiting for her, dick hard and all. What a guy.
Ezra finally texts and says Nicole wasnt one of the hostages and hes coming home to Rosewood. Aria is crying, so happy that there is still a helpless girl trapped by terrorists out there. Jason comes back and says that the adoption file came through except everything is blacked out.
However, they see that the judges name is on there and of course its Noels dad. Aria now thinks that Noels dad adopted MDs baby. Bold strategy cotton, lets see how it works out for them.
Emily calls Paige to talk and tells her about Noel. She invites Paige over, who practically creams her pants and says yes. But like, shes also oddly watching Coffee Girl. Fuck, shes so weird.
Noel comes home and finds Hannas hat on the ground and hes like WOW SHE MUST BE SO EXPOSED NOW WITHOUT THE HAT. He leans down to grab it and Hanna fucking hits him over the head with a bat. Its like a league of their own in this bitch.
Shes like its over bitch and Im like, fuck if I had a nickel for every time I heard that on this show.
div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}
source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/16/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back-you-can-all-mellow-tf-out-now/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/pretty-little-liars-recap-yes-were-back.html
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