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pridebooks · 5 years ago

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It’s Trans Day of Visibility, so have some books!!

Full list of books (with synopses) under the cut.

First picture: Books by trans authors (most also have trans characters)

Memoirs of a Man’s Maiden Years by N. O. Body - "I was born a boy, raised as a girl. . . . One may raise a healthy boy in as womanish a manner as one wishes, and a female creature in as mannish; never will this cause their senses to remain forever reversed." So writes the pseudonymous N. O. Body, born in 1884 with ambiguous genitalia and assigned a female identity in early infancy. Brought up as a girl, "she" nevertheless asserted stereotypical male behavior from early on. In the end, it was a passionate love affair with a married woman that brought matters to a head. Desperately confused, suicidally depressed, and in consultation with Magnus Hirschfeld, one of the most eminent and controversial sexologists of the day, "she" decided to become "he." N. O. Body was identified as Karl M. Baer (he/him).

Spy Stuff by Matthew J. Metzger - Anton never thought anyone would ever want to date him. Everyone knows nobody wants a transgender boyfriend, right? So he's as shocked as anyone when seemingly-straight Jude Kalinowski asks him out, and doesn't appear to be joking.The only problem is ... well, Jude doesn't actually know.Anton can see how this will play out: Jude is a nice guy, and nice guys finish last. And Anton is transgender, and transgender people don't get happy endings. If he tells Jude, it might destroy everything.And if Jude tells anyone else ... it will. Matthew J. Metzger (he/him) is a queer trans man.

I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver - When Ben De Backer comes out to their parents as nonbinary, they're thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas, whom Ben has never even met. Struggling with an anxiety disorder compounded by their parents' rejection, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their therapist and try to keep a low profile in a new school.But Ben's attempts to survive the last half of senior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan Allan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. As Ben and Nathan's friendship grows, their feelings for each other begin to change, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.At turns heartbreaking and joyous, I Wish You All the Best is both a celebration of life, friendship, and love, and a shining example of hope in the face of adversity Mason Deaver (they/them) is nonbinary.

George by Alex Gino -When people look at George, they think they see a boy. But she knows she's not a boy. She knows she's a girl.George thinks she'll have to keep this a secret forever. Then her teacher announces that their class play is going to be Charlotte's Web. George really, really, REALLY wants to play Charlotte. But the teacher says she can't even try out for the part . . . because she's a boy.With the help of her best friend, Kelly, George comes up with a plan. Not just so she can be Charlotte -- but so everyone can know who she is, once and for all. Alex Gino (they/them) is genderqueer.

Starglass by Phoebe North - Terra has never known anything but life aboard the Asherah, a city-within-a-spaceship that left Earth five hundred years ago in search of refuge. At sixteen, working a job that doesn't interest her, and living with a grieving father who only notices her when he's yelling, Terra is sure that there has to be more to life than what she's got. But when she inadvertently witnesses the captain's guard murdering an innocent man, Terra is suddenly thrust into the dark world beneath her ship's idyllic surface. As she's drawn into a secret rebellion determined to restore power to the people, Terra discovers that her choices may determine life or death for the people she cares most about. With mere months to go before landing on the long-promised planet, Terra has to make the decision of a lifetime--one that will determine the fate of her people. Phoebe North (they/them) is genderqueer.

Power Surge by Sara Codair - Erin has just realized that for the entirety of their life, their family has lied to them. Their Sight has been masked for years, so Erin thought the Pixies and Mermaids were hallucinations. Not only are the supernatural creatures they see daily real, but their grandmother is an Elf, meaning Erin isn’t fully human. On top of that, the dreams Erin thought were nightmares are actually prophecies.While dealing with the anger they have over all of the lies, they are getting used to their new boyfriend, their boyfriend's bullying ex, and the fact that they come from a family of Demon Hunters. As Erin struggles through everything weighing on them, they uncover a Demon plot to take over the world.Erin just wants some time to work through it all on their own terms, but that's going to have to wait until after they help save the world. Sara Codair (they/she) is nonbinary.

Out of Salem by Hal Schrieve - When genderqueer fourteen-year-old Z Chilworth wakes from death after a car crash that killed their parents and sisters, they have to adjust quickly to their new status as a zombie. Always a talented witch, Z can now barely perform magic and is rapidly decaying. Faced with rejection from their remaining family members and old friends, Z moves in with Mrs. Dunnigan, an elderly witch, and befriends Aysel, a loud would-be-goth classmate who is, like Z, a loner. As Z struggles to find a way to repair the broken magical seal holding their body together, Aysel fears that her classmates will discover her status as an unregistered werewolf. When a local psychiatrist is murdered in an apparent werewolf attack, the town of Salem, Oregon, becomes even more hostile to monsters, and Z and Aysel are driven together in an attempt to survive a place where most people wish that neither of them existed. Hal Schrieve (xie/hir) is a genderfluid trans man.

This is Kind of an Epic Love Story by Kacen Callender - Nathan Bird doesn’t believe in happy endings. Although he’s the ultimate film buff and an aspiring screenwriter, Nate’s seen the demise of too many relationships to believe that happy endings exist in real life.Playing it safe to avoid a broken heart has been his MO ever since his father died and left his mom to unravel—but this strategy is not without fault. His best-friend-turned-girlfriend-turned-best-friend-again, Florence, is set on making sure Nate finds someone else. And in a twist that is rom-com-worthy, someone does come along: Oliver James Hernández, his childhood best friend.After a painful mix-up when they were little, Nate finally has the chance to tell Ollie the truth about his feelings. But can Nate find the courage to pursue his own happily ever after? Kacen Callender (they/them) is a demiboy.

Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee - Captain Kel Cheris of the hexarchate is disgraced for using unconventional methods in a battle against heretics. Kel Command gives her the opportunity to redeem herself by retaking the Fortress of Scattered Needles, a star fortress that has recently been captured by heretics. Cheris’s career isn’t the only thing at stake. If the fortress falls, the hexarchate itself might be next.Cheris’s best hope is to ally with the undead tactician Shuos Jedao. The good news is that Jedao has never lost a battle, and he may be the only one who can figure out how to successfully besiege the fortress.The bad news is that Jedao went mad in his first life and massacred two armies, one of them his own. As the siege wears on, Cheris must decide how far she can trust Jedao–because she might be his next victim. Yoon Ha Lee (he/him) is a trans man.

Second pic: Books with trans characters

Gracefully Grayson by Ami Polonsky - Alone at home, twelve-year-old Grayson Sender glows, immersed in beautiful thoughts and dreams. But at school, Grayson grasps at shadows, determined to fly under the radar. Because Grayson has been holding onto a secret for what seems like forever: “he” is a girl on the inside, stuck in the wrong gender’s body.The weight of this secret is crushing, but leaving it behind would mean facing ridicule, scorn, and rejection. Despite these dangers, Grayson’s true self itches to break free. Strengthened by an unexpected friendship and a caring teacher who gives her a chance to step into the spotlight, Grayson might finally have the tools to let her inner light shine.

Beautiful Music for Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-Mills - "This is Beautiful Music for Ugly Children, on community radio 90.3, KZUK. I'm Gabe. Welcome to my show."My birth name is Elizabeth, but I'm a guy. Gabe. My parents think I've gone crazy and the rest of the world is happy to agree with them, but I know I'm right. I've been a boy my whole life.When you think about it, I'm like a record. Elizabeth is my A side, the song everybody knows, and Gabe is my B side--not heard as often, but just as good.It's time to let my B side play.

Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin - The first thing you’re going to want to know about me is: Am I a boy, or am I a girl?Riley Cavanaugh is many things: Punk rock. Snarky. Rebellious. And gender fluid. Some days Riley identifies as a boy, and others as a girl. The thing is…Riley isn’t exactly out yet. And between starting a new school and having a congressman father running for reelection in uber-conservative Orange County, the pressure—media and otherwise—is building up in Riley’s so-called “normal” life.On the advice of a therapist, Riley starts an anonymous blog to vent those pent-up feelings and tell the truth of what it’s REALLY like to be a gender fluid teenager. But just as Riley’s starting to settle in at school—even developing feelings for a mysterious outcast—the blog goes viral, and an unnamed commenter discovers Riley’s real identity, threatening exposure. Riley must make a choice: walk away from what the blog has created—a lifeline, new friends, a cause to believe in—or stand up, come out, and risk everything.

The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson - David Piper has always been an outsider. His parents think he's gay. The school bully thinks he’s a freak. Only his two best friends know the real truth: David wants to be a girl.On the first day at his new school Leo Denton has one goal: to be invisible. Attracting the attention of the most beautiful girl in his class is definitely not part of that plan. When Leo stands up for David in a fight, an unlikely friendship forms. But things are about to get messy. Because at Eden Park School secrets have a funny habit of not staying secret for long…

Mask of Shadows by Linsey Miller - Sallot Leon is a thief, and a good one at that. But gender fluid Sal wants nothing more than to escape the drudgery of life as a highway robber and get closer to the upper-class—and the nobles who destroyed their home.When Sal steals a flyer for an audition to become a member of The Left Hand—the Queen’s personal assassins, named after the rings she wears—Sal jumps at the chance to infiltrate the court and get revenge.But the audition is a fight to the death filled with clever circus acrobats, lethal apothecaries, and vicious ex-soldiers. A childhood as a common criminal hardly prepared Sal for the trials. And as Sal succeeds in the competition, and wins the heart of Elise, an intriguing scribe at court, they start to dream of a new life and a different future, but one that Sal can have only if they survive.

The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson - A good friend will bury your body, a best friend will dig you back up.Dino doesn’t mind spending time with the dead. His parents own a funeral home, and death is literally the family business. He’s just not used to them talking back. Until Dino’s ex-best friend July dies suddenly—and then comes back to life. Except not exactly. Somehow July is not quite alive, and not quite dead.As Dino and July attempt to figure out what’s happening, they must also confront why and how their friendship ended so badly, and what they have left to understand about themselves, each other, and all those grand mysteries of life.

I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman - For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare. Because that’s the problem with dreaming – eventually, inevitably, real life arrives with a wake-up call. And when Angel and Jimmy are unexpectedly thrust together, they will discover just how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be.

The Pants Project by Cat Clarke - Whoever wrote the uniform policy decided (whyyy?) that girls had to wear skirts, while boys were allowed to wear pants. Sexist. Dumb. Unfair. “Girls must wear a black, pleated, knee-length skirt.” I bet I read those words a hundred times during summer vacation. The problem wasn’t the last word in that sentence. Skirt wasn’t really the issue, not for me. The issue was the first word. Girls. Here’s the thing: I may seem like a girl, but on the inside, I’m a boy.

#trans #tdov #trans day of visibility #transgender day of visibility #tdov 2020 #books #trans books

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penebui · 4 years ago

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Lgbt manga pt.1

If you had to put up with my sorry ass for a few years then yes you know that I have been searching for lgbt mangas!! I put up with the pain of going through most genres that sexualize/fetishize gender identities and sexualities (like yaoi and gender bender) and reading mangas to find if they have lgbt content so you dont have to suffer the pain of trying to! Clown on this post and please face my wrath

Keep in mind that these aren’t in order of ratings!! Its just a list. I also give summaries of the plot, the things that make it lgbt, and some content warnings!!

1. Welcome to Room #305! by Wanan

Kim Jung Hyun moves into an apartment (room #305) with a friend of a friend, named Kim Homo! Who (you guessed it) is gay! As Jung Hyung begins to live with Kim Homo, he slowly learns to accept him for his sexuality. Once he overcomes his homophobia and completely accepts him for who he is, other lgbt characters pop in too!! They all have their struggles with their identities, and it is very realistic, but the art style helps keep all that angst at bay! As far as english translations go, we have several lesbian characters, and a trans guy. You can read the english translation on several manga sites, but if you want the link to the original since this is a webcomic, here’s the [link]! Unfortunately english updates are very slow since translation teams have other projects, and legal companies who translate take their sweet precious time.

2. Bokura no Hentai by Fumiko Fumi

The title might seem misleading, however it can be translated as “Our Transformation”! Buckle up buttercup cause this manga will fuck you over emotionally. Three crossdressers meet up after being in a crossdressing group, with different reasons as to why they crossdress. Parou crossdresses to fall in love with a straight guy, Marika is actually a trans woman, and Yui crossdresses as his dead sister to “help” his mother with her grieving. There are some other characters who don’t fit within the gender norms!

Now let me tell you if you are dealing with some trauma and can’t handle very sensitive topics, this manga might not be the one for you. Although it isnt just homophobia and transphobia, it also contains content of sexual harrassment, pedophilia, and suicide. However these topics are not glorified or sexualized. They are trauma of some of the characters and they must learn how to overcome from it individually. However, there is a happy ending for them!! Please let that be known! I enjoyed reading it if sobbing your heart out counts as enjoying it, because it has indeed pulled my heart strings (although I am not a trans woman, I am a trans guy and I can identify with only some of the things Marika goes through, as trans women go through different experiences than trans men and have it harder on them.)

3. Hourou Musuko (Wandering Son) by Takako Shimura

This manga is one of the most well known mangas realistically depicting trans identity. It became popular when an anime adaptation came out! However the anime adaptation only covers the middle school part of our protagonists lives, however it encourages you to read the manga to find out what happens to them and their life! We have two protagonists. Shuichi who identifies as a girl, and Yoshino who identifies as a boy. Shuichi is the primary protagonist while Yoshino serves as a secondary protagonist.

This manga also realistically depicts how hard it is for transfeminine people to come out and be themselves while transmasculine people seem to have it easier (dont clown on this dear fuck). We have lesbian, gay, and genderfluid characters galore! Although they do have some touchy topics like transmisogyny and transphobia in general, it is less heavier than Bokura no Hentai.

Some people might not like the outcome of this story when it comes to Yoshino, however I am content with it because it shows that people should be able to explore their gender identity, and they are welcome to change it anytime as they see fit. Sometimes you won’t figure out your identity if you don’t explore.

4. Shimanami Tasagore / Our Dreams at Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

Also one of the more well known ones, the mangaka of this beautiful story is X-gender and asexual! It follows the protagonist, Tasuku is contemplating suicide as rumors circulate that he is gay at his highschool (he is). He sees a woman jumping off a building nearby and runs to her aid. Her name is Anonymous/Somebody and she sees herself is asexual but other than that she does not like labels, she invites Tasuku inside the building she just jumped off, which contains a group of exclusively lgbt characters.

We have both trans, lesbian, and gay people. We see their struggles. We see how they overcome it. We see how even we ourselves can harm others even if we’re both lgbt. Of course there is homohpobia, transphobia, etc. however it is all handled perfectly and we get the satisfaction of these characters speaking up for either themselves or for each other. I also love Anonymous simply because she doesn’t like labels and chooses not to use them (excluding the asexual part). Not everyone whos part of the lgbt community has a label, however they are still a part of us!

5. Fukakai na boku no subete o (Fukaboku)/ Love me for who I am by Konayama Kata

Fukaboku is a very special manga to me, as it goes in depth on gender identity and sexuality. There are two protagonists, Tetsu who is a cis guy and supposedly straight (we later find out that he is not), and Mogumo, who is both intersex and nonbinary.

Tetsu works as a chef at Question Cafe, and everyone employed in fanlations are called girlyboys, however in the official translation they use otokonoko which is anyone crossdressing as a girl regardless of their gender. There are plenty of transwomen, gay people, etc.! Tetsu falls in love with Mogumo, so he isn’t straight, however he isn’t explicitly gay because he recognizes Mogumo as what they identify as, nonbinary. It is safe to say that he could either be pan, bi, omni, etc. however we can’t confirm since it hasn’t been explicitly stated.

We learn how transfeminine people have certain struggles, like shoes that dont fit them, breasts, and voice feminization. We also have a dose of family struggles when it comes to Mogumo in later/current chapters.

Before you dm me, yes. Yes I know about the shit prequel. The prequel actually features a gay couple in fukaboku. I have read it. Reluctantly even if it was only 24 pages. However just because the prequel is shit does not mean we should cancel Fukaboku. There is a thing called being critical of the content you’re enjoying. If we treated it like cancel y because of x, then things like persona 4 and danganronpa would be cancelled, but lets not get into that.

6. Kanojo ni Naritai Kimi to Boku by Umi Takase

I haven’t heard of this one as much as I have the others, so I was very much pleased when I heard about this! There are two protagonist (yes there are a lot of lgbt mangas with two protags I’ve noticed too), Hime and Akira. Hime has a crush on Akira, who identifies as a girl. However this manga is also realistic, as Akira doesn’t fully ‘pass’ as a girl herself. Hime wants to do anything she can to help Akira feel comfortable on her first day of school wearing a girl’s uniform. Because of Akira being made fun of, Hime shows up to school in Akira’s male uniform to help Akira in solidarity.

Their teachers are fully aware of Akira’s situation, however instead of discriminating her they accept her. Their homeroom teacher helps Hime overcome her internal problem about lashing out at others who try to befriend Akira, and she slowly realizes that just because people can’t accept Akira straight away, they will slowly get used to her and come to terms with the fact that Akira is trans in their own time rather than have it being forced on them.

Hime and Akira make friends slowly and we see that even little things (like calling Akira cute and/or a girl) helps Akira, even if theyre small things we dont usually notice. Hime also struggles with her crush as she sees Akira as a girl, yet she cant accept the fact that shes attracted to girls.

Although Akira doesnt feel the same way as Hime does, she doesnt just like her as a friend, but also not as a lover either. Its safe to say that these two have a quasiplatonic relationship with each other.

7. Yuzu no Koto by Arai Shou

I have noticed that there are plenty of mangas with transfeminine characters as the focus, rather than transmasculine, so heres one for the transmasculines! Ichigo’s best friend Yuzu comes back to school, however he is enrolling as a boy! It is very humorous as Ichigo tries to understand and get used to her best friend’s new identity. Although it is slow as each chapter is a single page, it is hinted that Yuzu has a crush on Ichigo (or if thats just me squinting really hard).

8. Ohana Holoholo by Torino Shino

It is a story about two bi women who are ex-girlfriends, raising one of the women’s baby together as a little family! There is also an idol/actor who helps them out and visits them occassionally! If you want something warming and wholesome, this is the manga for you!!

9. My Androgynous Boyfriend by Tamekou

Wako, a woman who works for a publishing company is in a relationship with an androgynous/genderless man! Her boyfriend wears dresses, makeup, and is an instagram model! It is not necessarily treated as crossdressing. It is handled pretty well, and the chemistry between Wako and her boyfriend is very strong. They both love each other so much and help each other with their hobbies and interests. This is what a loving and healthy relationship is supposed to look like!!

10. Inside Mari by Shuzo Oshimi

It is debatable if this is actually considered lgbt, considered the circumstances, however I put it on this list because it shows how mental illnesses and disorders really feel to the person whos suffering from it. Please read throughout this whole section to understand why.

Inside Mari is about a man named Isao who stalks this young girl named Mari. He follows her back outside of a little convenience store, but when she turns back and looks at him he wakes up inside her body and doesn’t know how to cope with it. He tries to find Mari while putting on a facade and living as her. He meets a girl named Yori who instantly recognizes that Isao isn’t actually Mari from his mannerisms. This girl has had a crush on Mari, just like Isao. Isao tries to prove to Yori that he switched bodies, and when he goes to his apartment, he finds someone living as him, but it isn’t Mari.

The more we delve into this manga, the more we figure out exactly what happened to Mari and Isao. As Isao and Yori visit and retrace his steps, Isao gets flashbacks to memories of Mari. Isao soon realizes that he isn’t actually the real Isao, but a introject of Isao, and that Mari actually has DID because of childhood trauma. The ending is bittersweet, as Mari comes back but Isao unfortunately becomes dormant/disappears since I don’t think what happened was them merging.

11. Seibetsu "Mona Lisa" No Kimi He by Yoshimura Tsumuji

In the world, people can choose what gender they want to be when they’re 12. When they’re 14 their appearance corresponds to their gender. Hinase however, is 18 years old and they still haven’t chosen a gender. They prefer to be neither. However when their two best friends suddenly confess to them, their hormonal development suddenly starts to increase.

Imagery and symbolism is very clear in this manga!! As we revolve around the color blue/cyan and the debate and interpretations of Mona Lisa’s gender. I’m very hopeful that Hinase will stay as nonbinary rather than choosing a gender, simply because both of their best friends confessed and asked them to become the opposite gender to be with them. It is very much hinted that Hinase will be in a romantic relationship with their male best friend however. I love this manga simply because the protagonist doesn’t want to identify as either male nor female.

12. Jun And Kaoru: Pure And Fragrant by Neiki Zui

Jun and Kaoru have a special condition, by midnight they both switch genders. Because they both have this condition, they hang out with each other and help each other with clothing, etc. It should be addressed that these two do not have the “I wish to be a girl/boy” etc. The problem that they have though is their growing crush on each other. They are either genderqueer, or genderfluid, or whatever you prefer since it isn’t directly stated within the manga. They’re not cis or straight! It is a very fun and comedic love story and I wish to see further updates on it!!!

13. Sakura-Chan to Amane-Kun by Asazuki Norito

This story revolves around Sakura who identifies as a girl and Amane who identifies as a boy. Amane spots Sakura dressed as a girl and instantly recognizes her, however instead of belittling her he asks her out on a date, only if she goes as a girl. During school however, they have to pretend to be the gender theyre assigned with while not interacting with each other.

Since there is a lot more but I dont want to break tumblr, I will be making a part 2 and I’ll post it tomorrow!

#lgbt #lgbt manga #manga #lgbtq #lgbtq manga #trans #gay #my post #long post #i enjoy doing stuff like this #prolly because its how i found out i was bigender

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peaches-of-1 · 5 years ago

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Peachtober | Day 17: Lotus

I didn’t realize this wasn’t in queue, so sorry for this being a few days late!

Hey, guys! Some of you may not know I have a side blog called @iris-idol where I do a sort of self insert kind of thing about my life as an idol. The first part is done at this point and here is a sneak peak of something I haven’t posted it yet.

September 11th, 11:59am

I was so ready for Namjoon’s birthday since he was able to come home from service to celebrate it. I sent him “Happy Birthday, oppa!” at midnight as I planned to do with all of my other members when it was their birthday. We had performed together not too long ago. He had only joined the Army last month. I remember crying so hard when him and the other members of the hyung line left together.

For now, Maknae line had formed a subunit and TXT was having a comeback soon. I was also really excited to finally have an offday just so that we could celebrate with Namjoon for a few hours. Since the show was done, the members that would become Dei5 were in the beginning stages of our trainee lives.

It wasn’t too much right now, just coming up with our concepts to make sure we have clear goals to work towards and stuff like that. Of course we had our deities to research nonstop and there was a ten page essay we had to turn in, written in Korean, to make sure we were making good strides towards understanding what persona we were going to put forward.

For me, that was Iris, goddess of the rainbow and fellow messenger alongside Hermes. A lot of my clothing would be rainbow themed, but also my color was pink. That meant I kept going towards super cute and unicorn imagery. I wanted to do something really aegyo and kawaii but also mix it with hard rock. My Trinket aka symbol was a rainbow rose so there were a lot of duality aspects I could do.

We were going to be a rock-rap group from what BigHit officials told us. I was excited to learn hardcore about rock culture because I had lived it mostly during middle school and high school. It was obvious why I was chosen for the show if they were going for a rock inspired group since I took a lot of vocal inspiration from Adam Lambert and Evanescence.

Alice would be Lyssa, goddess of madness, and her color was black. She had a secondary aka accent color which was silver. She was half Korean and half Aussie, so her blonde hair and blue eyes were completely natural much to people’s surprise. She had been super shocked to be chosen for this group since the final vote was up to the Korean people. Alice was queer. She didn’t put a label on her sexuality and rarely ever specified what she meant other than saying love is love and she wasn’t going to let society get in the way of her heart. Her trinket was a black lace blindfold.

Jun aka Lan Caihe was like our big brother/sister so far. We were pretty sure he was going to be the leader because both Jun and her deity were genderfluid. Jun went by any and all pronouns and liked to dress more closely to a femine aesthetic. Back home, she did drag and made a lot of friends that way. He was the oldest...I think. Anyways, Lan Caihe’s color was green and her symbol was a bamboo flute.

Oppa was Hyojoon, a cutie that was shorter than me and his deity was Igong Hallakgungi and we mostly just called him Halla. By “we” I meant most of the non-Koreans who were on the show because long words are hard. His color was blue. His was the deity of life and death since his deity watched over said garden. Meaning his trinket was also a watering can. Since the show was over, he no longer had to stand out so much. He let his white hair fade and his roots were coming in.

Our youngest was Tristan. He went by Tristan and liked that better than his birth name, so I didn’t think about his actual name. He was a sweet guy and adored me so much. I adored him right back. I called him my little brother, and I meant it. The way he called me Noona was different from how he called Jun or Alice. Like I was his actual big sister. Although we both had other siblings, we treated each other like we had wished our siblings treated us. Basically, I babied him quite a bit. He enjoyed that because he was the oldest of three sisters.

He was kind of like my soul mate. My best friend. My brother.

He then asked me how my training had been and I told it was good. I have honestly just gotten back about a week or so ago. I spent the last month hanging out back home and collecting the rest of my things that I wanted to bring to Korea since I’d be living here from now on.

There was a knock on my door, probably my manager coming to take my phone and tell us lights out. We weren’t allowed to have our phones until after we debuted and after we made a certain amount of revenue.

September 12, 9:21pm

Namjoon oppa had wanted a casual costume party, but I was not a casual person. So I took a shower before showing up to the boys’ dorm in a starry dress. We had planned to make him the center of our galaxy for the night meaning everyone was wearing something with stars or planets or moons on them. Although the trainees from Deify weren’t very close to a lot of the other members of BigHit Entertainment, we had been invited.

Jimin was already redfaced and giggly when I arrived. I bowed and spoke politely to Yoongi who had been a judge on the show as well as everyone else. I wasn’t allowed to drink because we would have meetings and such all day tomorrow. It was mostly just eating and watching videos on the TV.

“It’s nice to see you again, Farai.” Namjoon said my birth name. “You look well.”

“Thank you. You look great too, all healthy. How has your training been, or are you done with that now?”

He handed me a slice of cake, “It’s done with, but I have big news to share with everyone. I guess you can find out first.”

“How come I get to know first?” I asked.

Namjoon shrugged, “You’re good at keeping secrets, and I trust you. Also, you might be able to give me some advice.”

“What do you mean by advice?”

“I’m going to be sent to America for most of my service. They said somewhere in the South, and since you’re from that area, I was hoping you could give me some tips about how to act.” He said, leaning on the counter by the fridge.

“Ah,” I replied. “I see, well. I think you will do a good job because one things I was going to tell you is to be respectful and to call people older than you either ‘Sir’ or ‘Ma’am’. However, you already do that. Hmm,”

I took a moment to think and noticed he was nervously playing with the hem of his new jacket gifted to him by Jungkook.

“Oh, I think this will be a good tip. Two things are really a big deal when it comes to business and older American people. One is eye contact. It shows that you are listening to them and paying attention. Second is a firm handshake. I do not know how you will be treated there, but do your best not to be shy.” I giggled. “Strong but silent is good, though.”

I went on and tried to show him what a firm handshake would be like, his hand lingering in mine as I did my best to explain in English and choppy Korean.

“Iris!” Taehyung turned the corner into the kitchen. “I’m so glad you’re here. I want to show you something.”

So he motioned me over and Namjoon let me join the younger member. Tae had wanted to show me some music and lyrics he wrote for me and was really hoping I could consider adding it to my album. I was taken by surprise. What was I supposed to say?

“Ah, I um. I will try. I will talk to the music producers and see if they will consider it. We are not working on music at this moment, but it sounds really nice. You have grown so much as an artist, Taehyung.” I smiled at him wearing a star spangled beret.

Then we went back to the party for a bit. Trainees couldn’t stay for too long because the grind was just beginning and we were learning Korean. I felt so out of place but also star struck because there were so many idols there. Namjoon was the only one in orangey clothing, so he was easy to find in the crowd.

One of his non idol friends was hitting on me. I was being nice, doing the whole Southern Hospitality thing, but I was not interested in the slightest. He spoke to me in broken English and did his best to hold a conversation with me, so I hung around. Until..

“Will you twerk for me?” He asked.

I bit the inside of my lip and tilted my head, “Um, what?��

“Twerk, you know...with your booty. Like girls in video.” He replied.

“Hahahaha~” Namjoon said, slapping his friend on the back. “Don’t be stupid, Han-hyung. That is really rude.”

The man blinked, “Is it? Really? Is that not just what black girls do?”

“Hahahahahaha~~no. No it’s not. I am so sorry, Farai.”

“I am going to play with Yeontan.” I replied and left them to that.

Tristan hugged me, “Noona~ You look sad.”

“It’s nothing. Just an idiot.” I responded.

“I love you, Noona. You are amazing and strong. Whatever happened, you just add it to reasons why you have to change Korea’s ideas of what someone like you does.” He said, rubbing my back.

“Thanks, my lovely deongsaeng”

Yoongi also wanted to talk to me about my future and songwriting and stuff. He had been a judge on the show, so things were still kind of tense between us. Yoongi had been nice, but I didn’t feel right calling him Oppa just yet. He reminded me that I was going to make the biggest splash as a BigHit artist but also to just focus on being a trainee for now. I would have all my life to deal with the stress of being a foreigner, of being plus size, of having my natural hair, of being dark skinned in Korea. For now, I just had to show that I was an idol first and foremost.

“I promise I will not let you or BigHit down.” I said.

He smiled, “Good.”

Jungkook’s voice called my name next and he said that he wanted me to help with his gift for Namjoon. Right now, it was hard to say no to anyone older than me, especially someone I looked up to. Still, if it made me too uncomfortable, I would have to reject his offer.

“I want to give him birthday kisses. It’s become a tradition now, and I know you have to go soon. I was thinking that we could each kiss one of his cheeks, if that’s ok with you.” The BTS maknae spoke to me in English since he was fluent in it and I was not that fluent in Korean just yet.

“Wouldn’t that be too easy to turn into a scandal of some sort?” I asked.

He waved away my concern, “Don’t worry about what the fans will do. You already have had several dating scandals. Anyways, this is for fun, and I know Namjoon will like it. Don’t you want to see him all blushy and shy?”

I bit my lip and put on a playfully stubborn face, “Maybe…”

Jungkook smiled and we went over to to behind where the birthday boy was sitting. The star eyed maknae counted to three and then both of us leaned down to place a small peck on either of his cheeks.

“Happy birthday, hyung!” Jungkook said.

Namjoon hid his face in his hands, but I could tell he was smiling. Then he looked up at me.

“Et tu, Farai?”

I pointed to his own member, “It was Kookie’s idea.” and giggled, only the color of my skin hiding how I was blushing too.

Alice traced her fingers through mine, “Come on lovebird, we have to go. Work starts early tomorrow.”

I nodded and we told everyone goodnight and farewell.

October 21, 10:33am

I was so ready for Halloween. It was fun trying to come up with ideas of what to do and of course it got turned into a sort of mini promo. When it came down to it, we were basically going to disappear for two years while we trained for Dei5 and wanted to make one final noise before we poofed.

So, we released a short Halloween song and were going to be doing busking in order to promote it. It was a remixed version of “Spooky Scary Skeletons” and all twelve of us who had been on the show were learning a dance for it. We had been working on it for two weeks now, just the dance part. The song was done in about a week. Halloween was in 10 days! Ah, I was living for this.

I knew that what we were doing was simply the tip of the k-pop idol iceberg, but I was just so happy to be busy and doing what I loved. It was frustrating at times since this was all short notice, but I liked it. Today, we worked on gathering costumes for our busking performances. We tried to choose stuff from the same show or franchise, but Imani now understood my distaste towards morph suits. So superheroes were out of the question.

Then we got the idea while playing video games with Sooja and Matthew just a few days ago. Mario characters. Everyone said I had to be Princess Peach, but I wanted to be Peachette. So that’s how we all evolved into all the “-ette” versions of the characters we had chosen. Well, most of us.

I was Peachette, Tristan was Bullet Billette, Alice was Bowsette, Hyojoon was just a regular Boo, and Jun was Yoshette. James was Piranha Plantette, Sooja was Boosette, Matthew had decided to go for Walette while Dongmin decided to be Wariette. Nawoo would be Toad, Gina went for Daisy, and Imani was Rosalina.

We were mostly looking for skirts and dresses. For Dongmin and I who were the two bigger members of the group, literally, we did some online shopping from our phones while everyone else did their things. I was able to get a really long blonde wig to fit my head from a place that Jun told me her drag queen friends always went to.

Jun said he would help me style it to fit Peachette’s hair. I was so thankful for him because I’d be struggling without her.

As my little group of Alice, James, and Nawoo went to the party section to see if the fabric pens were there, my eye caught the cutest arrangement of Halloween gift bags. I looked back at my manager and gave Kyung the best puppy dog eyes I could manage aven pouting a bit. I had talked about doing a project like this before, but he said he didn’t want to spend money on it.

He rolled his eyes and grabbed three packs of 20. He then left us to grab some of the huge bags of candy. I wanted to do something for the people who would be watching us perform. And for Halloween, that’d be candy. The only rule was that I had to make the bags myself. Yeah, that was extra work for myself, but I would always do it for Halloween and Valentine’s Day. The only reason I wouldn’t do it for Christmas is because that was festival season, the most stressful and busy time of the year. I didn’t want to get in the way.

October 31, 3:03am

I had finally finished all of the bags and tied them up. It went faster because of Tristan and Alice helping me, but still. They had extra practice to do to help their dancing skills. Alice was a fantastic dancer, but she didn’t have a great sense of rhythm. I put the last dozen in a wagon that Hyojoon oppa had let me borrow for this since it looked haunted.

Now, I had to go to bed for about seven hours before having to wake up and get ready so that we could be shoved off to perform in Hongdae and Itaewon. They were closer to our dorms than Busan and Ilsan and Daegu.

October 31, 12:30pm

Dei5 had a short meeting where we found out that our official logo would be a lotus, a symbol of rebirth and renewal. It would have five petals for each of us. We would go for a regular sort of symbol, smooth and simple, the lines were not too thick or too thin. It gave us the chance to alter it and remodel it for each comeback. Honestly, it would just be five gold petal outlines with a white center.

It was all that we could talk about with our other members.

I was getting a call from Taehyung during a quick lunch break before we continued dancing. We were at some traditional Korean place and eating bimibap, kimbap, and cold noodles.

“Hello?” I said after swallowing.

“You can’t call her. She can’t know about this.” It sounded like Jimin’s voice in the background.

Taehyung responded, “It’s not like we have many options.”

“If she was invited, you’ll see her there. Do you want to get in trouble with the Mentors?” Jungkook asked, worry and fear in his voice along with concern.

“No, Noona would get mad.” the current middle child said.

“So put down the phone.” Jimin said.

And the line went dead. I stared at my phone confused. What was that all about? Gina asked what the phone call was about and who it was from. I told her it was from Tae but it must have been a butt dial. Whatever, I had noodles to slurp up.

October 31, 7:22pm

Now in full costume, I was ready to dance with the others. I can’t believe it’s been over a month since since Namjon went back to serve. He had a lot of American fans, so he was seen through fan cams. Same went for Hobi, Jin, and Yoongi who mostly did office work. Well, Jin was part of Army Band and Hobi was in another performance Army thing.

“Hey, is it just me, or are there less people out on Halloween than during the day?” Imani asked.

I admitted, “I’ve noticed that too.”

“Do you guys not know?” Sooja asked, extremely puzzled. “Ah, I guess since you’re not usually in Korea during this time of year, and you haven’t been out much because of training, but um. There is a yearly masquerade party that idols go to. Some normies or trainees get invited too, but that is the only way you can go. By invite.”

Tristan added, “Yeah. I honestly thought we would have gotten invited, but I guess they want to train us first.”

Then they went into talking about what kind of rumors surrounded it. How people could go missing if they talked about it or how the person they talked to would disappear. It was very hush hush, like the bedazzled elephant in the room. Everyone who was anyone knew about it and got invited, but no one could really talk about it. Overall, it was a masquerade ball. Oh, I’ve always wanted to go to one of those!

There had been a livestream earlier when we were performing, made people who watched guess who each idol was. It was like a very intense but also fun fandom test. How well did you really know what your faves looked like?

We finally got into Itaewon for the third time today and there were people waiting for us. Like it had been happening all day, but it was still strange to see so many people who wanted to see us. Kyung had surprised me by setting up a total of 200 other goodie bags for fans who came out to watch. Him and the others were dressed in capes.

Our last stop was at N Seoul Tower. My skirt was actually shorter than the original dress just because I didn’t want to have to carry it around and lift it up as I danced. It was a pink lolita dress and Sooja actually had the Toadette/Bowsette crown. She helped make more for all of us.

We would do a Six song set and finish with our Halloween song. I was in three of them with the other members who would make up Dei5. Alice and I did our “No” by CLC cover and we did our easier group choreo afterwards.

Then it was time for “Spooky Scary Skeletons”. The twelve of us got into formation.

“Mortals, Deities, and everything in between~” I spoke.

Matthew added, “We only have one thing to say.”

“Happy Halloween!”

We had cut up the lyrics and such to the famed Halloween song and added two different rap sections for it to help showcase the rappers. I was having such a good time when the first dance break came in and we marched in sync and then posed. It was mostly dance heavy, so it was mostly just remembering what order to do them in. Muscle memory was my best friend in this case.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw the cape wearing staff handing out my little baggies. They were filled with chocolate, non chocolate, and a few trinkets like Vampire Teeth and the like. Also, 100 of the ones that I did not make had special codes in them to get a preorder when our CDs came out. They would have to use them wisely and try not to lose them.

Everyone was given glowsticks too, so we lit up the area more than the tower behind us. Then we all went to the front.

“Boo!”

Stay still for 10 second and then we all held hands and bowed, “Thank you! Happy Halloween! Thank you for all of your support!” and then it was done.

October 31, 10:00pm

I couldn’t help but fall asleep the moment I got home. Yes, it was bad to sleep in makeup and yes I would probably get in trouble for it when I woke up tomorrow because trainees had certain things to follow and wiping off our makeup and doing skincare was one of them. So I’d pay for it later. Right now, it was time to sleep.

I couldn’t help but dream about what it would be like if Namjoon and I danced together at the masquerade ball. The theme would be fire and ice, no jewel tones, no, space. Definitely space and so I could wear a more dramatic version of the outfit I wore to his birthday. However, I would need to be more careful. I was a girl. I was a foreigner and Gods Dammit, I will be an idol.

#BTS #Bangtan #Character: Iris #Iris-idol #@iris-idol #Idol!AU #bwam #ambw #slow burn #extra chapter #Peachtober #Day 17

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quicksilverconnoisseur · 7 years ago

Note

Didn't you once mention beautiful Will teasing the confused fratboys at school? (✿´‿`) prompt ask

Oooh, such a good ask, anon!!! When I wrote that, I was thinking how, after Will had grown his hair out and started adopting more feminine clothing, he probably would be mistaken for a girl a lot, especially from behind. And then he would need to develop a kind of aggressive flirtation as a defence mechanism against homo/transphobic fuckboy grossness. Because, let’s face it, they’re going to find him extremely confusing because he’s so damn pretty.

Buuuuut… this ask got me thinking a little deeper. What if, in the midst of all that faux-testosterone yuckiness, there were one or two guys who found that they really did like the idea of getting closer to our genderfluid hero/ine?

I wasn't going to write anything for this and just shoot headcanons at you. And then this happened... (here be porn)

Riding in cars with boys

Warning for transphobic language & threats of violence

“Those guys are waiting for me again,” Will said. “I’ve got to go.”

On the other end of the phone, Bev made a strangled noise pitched somewhere between indignation and concern.

“I’ll be fine,” Will said. “Really. I’ll call you later.”

There were two of them, shadowy figures loitering under the tree close to his front door. They weren’t trying to hide, of course. Men like them never seemed to think they should, even when they were doing something to be ashamed of.

Without slowing his stride, Will put his phone away. As he drew closer, one of the figures stepped out into a patch of grass illuminated by a lamp overhead. Will didn’t recognise him but they all tended to look the same - broad shoulders, square head, team sweatshirt.

Will raised an eyebrow at him. “Can't stay away, can you? You must like what you see.”

The other figure joined the first, and said something Will didn’t catch. He was a bit shorter - the tall square one had to duck his head to listen. Then the second guy slapped him on the back, shoving him forward a little.

Now he was only a few feet away, Will realised he had seen him before. Hanging around the campus in the company of a particularly infantile group of frat boys Will would be happy to never see again. He slipped his bag off his shoulder, ready to drop it if he had to. What women were told about holding keys was not the best advice - you needed both hands free to fight properly.

“Either get out of my way or I'll make you get out of my way,” Will said. “You've seen me do it before.”

“Um,” the guy said. “Sorry, look, are you, um-”

“Am I, what?” Will answered. “Am I a girl or a boy? Am I a freak of nature or a disgusting pervert? Or do you just want to know what I keep in my pants?”

At least the guy had the grace to look abashed. “Yeah, see, don't listen to Chuck, he's an idiot. Everyone thinks so.”

“No one more than me,” Will said. “Can I go now? I've got things to do.”

“Wait- um, don't go, not yet. I've got something I want to ask you.”

“Fuck’s sake, what is it?” Will said. “I’m losing patience, and I swear you won't like it when I do.”

“I just- I think.” The guy drew himself up to his full height, like he was preparing to take a gut-punch. “I think you're kinda cute.”

For a moment, Will was stunned into silence. Then suspicion rushed in to fill the gap, until it was an angry buzz in his ears. “If this is something Chuck has put you up to, you'd better get out of here right now, or-”

The guy rushed forward to interrupt. “No, no, I promise! On my mother's grave.”

Will’s unspent words dissolved into empty useless breath. He sighed, and looked at the guy in front of him, really looked. He saw traces of a young teenager, one who’d grown too tall too quickly, and a silent stoic father. All he’d wanted to do was make her proud, so he’d done what his father had said. A football scholarship would lead to a bright future, a good job. Now he was struggling with the realisation that his father’s idea of a bright future didn’t match his own. And the knowledge that his mother’s opinions on the matter rotted away under the ground, along with everything else which had once been her.

“Okay,” Will said, feeling much more uncomfortable than when he thought he was going to end the night with split knuckles. “So… what, are you asking me out?”

“Yeah,” the guy said. “Not very well, sorry. Um, want to go grab a drink or something?” He gestured away from Will’s front door, in the direction of the cafes and bars which made up college nightlife.

Will shook his head and the guy's face fell, almost comically so.

“I mean, I've had a long day - lots of people,” Will explained. “Look, why don't you come in for a bit. We can talk.”

He found his keys in his bag and made for the door. Whatever this guy was, he was no threat.

The guy jogged the few steps over to Will, looking as eager and awkward as a puppy. “Uh, yeah, sure.” He nodded at his friend, who turned and disappeared into the night.

“Who was that?” Will asked, as the door clicked open.

“Not Chuck,” the guy said. “Just moral support. Don't worry.”

“I do worry.” Will dumped his bag and coat in the hall. “I have to.”

“Yeah, about that,” the guy said, his eyes trying to catch Will’s. “Sorry for freaking you out. I didn’t think.”

“No,” said Will, rather absently, looking round the room and wondering what he should do now. He hadn’t really thought much further than asking the guy inside. “I don't know your name. I guess you already know mine.”

“It’s Will, right? I'm Kyle.”

Will smiled. He couldn’t help it. Kyle with the square head and the football scholarship. “Take a seat, Kyle. I feel like I should offer you a beer but I haven’t got any. Hold on.”

He ducked into his bedroom and came back out with the battered tin bait box he kept his weed in. Kyle was on the couch, flicking not-very-casually through a magazine Bev had left behind. Will sat beside him, and found he rather enjoyed the way Kyle’s eyes jumped immediately to his bare knees and then a little higher.

“I’ve got this,” Will said. “Want to share? I think after tonight’s misunderstanding we could both do to unwind a little.”

Kyle grinned. “Much better than beer.”

“Well, I think so,” Will said, grinning back. It was surprisingly easy to do. Kyle was making no attempt at all to hide his attraction or his obvious hopes about the direction his evening had taken. His face was open, with clear brown eyes. His teeth were very white and he had a mole above one eyebrow. Maybe he wasn’t quite as square and bland as Will had first thought him, just extremely clean-cut and healthy-looking.

He rolled a joint while Kyle watched, unable to shake the impression that, at any moment, Kyle might sneak an arm round the back of the couch and across his shoulders. Riding in cars with boys, Will thought, a little hysterically. Suddenly, he could imagine an alternate reality, one based on dumb movie tropes, where he’d spent high school dating the star quarterback and wore his jacket to all the big games. Milkshakes and french fries and used condoms in the backseat.

“You live here on your own?” Kyle said, reminding Will not to get lost in his imagination, especially when he had company.

“Yeah, I’m a special case. They didn’t know what to do with me.” At Kyle’s blank look, Will continued. “I left high school a year early. I couldn’t go in dorm with everyone else and I didn’t want to share, so they put me up here on my own. I had student liaison come check on me every so often, to make sure I was settling in and not doing anything I could sue them for later.”

Kyle looked even blanker.

“It was a duty of care thing,” Will said. “Because I was a minor.”

There was an awkward pause, where Kyle’s brows drew alarmingly close together and his entire body tensed ready for flight.

“I’m eighteen now,” Will said, with a laugh. “It’s your turn to not worry.”

“Right,” Kyle said, looking relieved. “I gotcha.”

Will smiled and ducked his head to light the joint. When he blew out his first glorious lungful, Kyle stared at Will’s mouth and unconsciously wet his lips. Will blinked once, slowly, and after felt like an idiot for doing something dangerously close to batting his eyelashes. He handed the joint over, settled deeper into the couch, and tried not to think about it.

They passed it to and fro in silence for while until, apparently out of nowhere, Kyle asked, “Are you gay?”

Here it was; the place Kyle had been heading to, ever since he’d decided to wait for Will under the tree.

Will took a deep drag and wondered if he should bother trying to explain the intersectionality of gender identity and sexual orientation. “I like girls, boys, and everything in between,” was the answer he settled on.

Kyle took the joint back and watched it smoulder for a few moments. “Everything in between,” he said. “So, that’s you, right?”

“Right,” Will agreed. He was suddenly aware of how small the couch was. There was only a couple of inches of space between Kyle’s jeans and his own thigh.

“You know, you’re really pretty,” Kyle said. “Like really, really pretty.”

Will didn’t know what to say to that, so he said nothing at all. His fingers grazed Kyle’s when he took the joint again. Thankfully, there was a pleasant fuzziness creeping in around the edges of his mind, like a soft comfortable blanket. It made the situation a lot easier to deal with.

“I think I’m probably gay, but I’ve only been with girls before.” There was more than a hint of desperation in the way Kyle glanced at him, which spoke of a small town and its crushing, pigeonholing ways. “It’s not like I don’t want to - you know - with guys, it’s just, how do you even know when a guy is interested? How am I supposed to tell when it’s okay to ask one out?”

“You could go to a club,” Will said. “Or one of the LGBT events on campus.”

Kyle’s mouth dropped open, and he shook his head in a dazed kind of way. Obviously this would be a step too far.

“So you thought hanging around my door was less scary?” Will’s face darkened when a different idea occurred to him. “Or that I was an easier prospect?”

“No, no, that wasn’t it. I thought, you know, think-” He took a deep breath. “I told you - you’re really pretty. Gorgeous. I just wanted to-”

Will leaned in a little closer. His mind was stilling, finally. Thoughts hung like motes of dust suspended in syrupy summer air. Kyle’s warmth was seeping into the couch, palpable in the air around him. Will could almost feel it on his skin. And Kyle’s thighs were solid and muscular; Will wanted to straddle his lap and shut him up. He’d had enough talk for one day.

He was probably staring, Will realised, a bit too late. But Kyle was staring back at him. Good.

Kyle opened his mouth and hushed, halting words came out. “A couple of weeks ago, I saw you, at the library. You were wearing this short grey dress and you must’ve had on thigh highs or something, because when you picked your bag up there was little flash of skin and I swear it was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” His eyes found Will’s and slid down to fix on his mouth. “I got so hard, it was incredible. And later- god.”

Will gave him a slow smile and moved in close enough to kiss. But he held back, just out of reach. “What happened later? Tell me, go on.”

Kyle was transfixed, eyes wide. He was even blushing a little. But it seemed he couldn't stop talking now he’d started. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about what I’d find if I pushed your skirt up. Thinking that you might let me touch you, let me-”

The joint was practically finished, a stub of twisted paper. He plucked it from Kyle's fingers and sucked out the last pull. Then he brushed his lips over Kyle’s, letting curling tendrils of smoke escape between them. Kyle breathed it in deeply, and calmed himself a little.

“Let you what?” Will asked. “What is it you want to do?”

He was halfway across Kyle’s lap; one of Kyle’s hands had found their way to Will’s thigh, toying uncertainly with the hem of his dress.

“God, I want to suck you off,” Kyle said, in a breathless rush. “Make you come like that. I bet it’s as pretty as the rest of you.”

Will took a deep and careful breath in, trying to ignore the blood pounding in his veins, making his dick twitch. Fuck, did that sound good - usually, Will was the one expected to do all the cocksucking.

He put his hands firmly on Kyle’s shoulders and swung a leg over his lap. Instead of settling onto it, which seemed like a very good idea indeed, Will knelt so his hips were level with Kyle’s shoulders.

“So, what you're saying is, you wanna lift up my skirt and suck my dick?”

Kyle nodded, mouth open and eyes glazed, fingers digging into the backs of Will’s thighs.

Will smiled, and stroked Kyle's cheek with his thumb. “Okay then, go ahead.”

Kyle’s hands crept nervously upward, a little way under Will’s skirt. All at once, he pushed it up, out of the way.

“Oh god,” he said, faintly. “Shit.”

Will would have described the underwear he had on as unremarkable - plain pale-blue cotton, with a tiny frill of lace edging. But apparently Kyle didn't agree. His fingers slid slowly up to rest over Will's hips, framing the fat rigid bulge of Will's cock underneath with his thumbs, and then stopped.

“It’s okay,” Will said. “Touch, whatever you want.”

Kyle looked nervously up at him for a moment, before brushing his thumb along the length of the distended fabric. A soft whimper escaped him, as if he was the one being felt up. Will covered the back of Kyle's hand with his own, in what he hoped was encouragement. The tension was getting to him, too - excitement banded his chest, making his breath come short.

Squaring his shoulders, Kyle hooked his fingertips into the band of Will's panties and peeled them down. He let out an audible exhalation when Will’s dick sprang free. It was almost kind of cute, Will decided. He smiled down at Kyle, who was blushing and bright-eyed and elated at his own bravery.

“I knew it,” he said, tugging Will's panties further down, to sit below his balls. “So pretty, god. Like that, is that okay?” He encircled the shaft with his fingers, and gave a couple of tentative strokes.

“Yeah,” Will said. “That's good, just- you don't have to be gentle with me.”

Kyle made a choked, slightly desperate noise, grabbed the base of Will's cock and pressed his lips to the tip. Will gasped and clutched for the back of the couch. He felt hot warmth sweep across his slit - simply Kyle getting used to the taste, presumably, because he then slipped the round O of his mouth over the head and sucked.

With a harsh grunt of surprise, Will tried to stop his hips jerking forward. Kyle pulled free, then dragged the broad flat of his tongue down Will’s length and back up again. He was a quick learner and enthusiastic to boot; sucking Will’s cock deeper into his mouth, hands settling on the globes of Will’s ass. Will groaned, reeling with pleasure already, and a little taken aback at the sight of Kyle below him.

Kyle let Will slip free and gasped, “God, you’re so hot.” He unbuckled his jeans hurriedly and took his own dick in hand. “Just, fuck, just use my mouth, okay? I can take it, I want you to.”

A shiver of need raced up Will’s spine. Maybe those backseat fantasies his mind earlier supplied him with were even more interesting than they had first appeared. He pictured Kyle, on his knees, head bobbing in Will’s lap. The star quarterback who was also a star cocksucker.

Will held his jaw and pushed the head of his cock across Kyle’s lips, smearing them with pre-come. He smiled. “Yeah? Want me to come in your mouth too?”

Kyle moaned, nodded, and put his tongue out in blatant invitation. Silently, Will congratulated himself for not coming on the spot, and slid smoothly over Kyle’s tongue and into his mouth. He pressed as deep as he thought Kyle could take, watching Kyle’s cheeks hollow, his eyes close in bliss. His hand worked briskly between his own legs and Will took up the same rhythm, fucking his mouth in short rapid strokes.

Will knew there was no way he was going to last - not with the needy sounds Kyle was making deep in his throat, or with how he seemed to like Will’s hands on his jaw and the back of his head. His mouth was perfect, spit-slick tongue and lips, tight sucking heat, vibrating with his groans. And the thought of coming in his mouth, of watching him swallow around his cock- it was all too much.

Gathering his self-control, Will pulled slowly back, greedily watching the drag of Kyle’s lips over his shaft. When he realised what was happening, Kyle tried to hold him in place, the fingers of his free hand dimpling the flesh of Will’s ass.

Will shook his head. “I’m close, you’d better do the work. It’ll be easier for you that way.”

Kyle surged blindly forward, sought the head with his tongue, and engulfed it in his mouth again. He worked it desperately, sucking and lapping, probing gently at the very tip, until Will gripped his head and held him still. His cock pulsed thickly, and Kyle’s eyes flew open as he swallowed what he could. Will's gaze was locked to his while Kyle struggled and lost the battle, a slippery mess of saliva and come spilling from his lips and down his chin. Both of them groaned; Kyle chased it with his tongue, still pumping his dick, while Will shook and trembled over him. Only a few seconds later, he came over his fist, splashing hot and wet against Will’s thigh.

Will's heart hammered, his chest heaved. A laugh burst from him - the final release of adrenaline and joy and relief. Kyle wiped at his sticky mouth and joined in, a warm genuine sound. Will sank into his lap and kissed him properly for the first time. They felt easy and right together, soft lips and slow hot licks into each others’ mouths. Both of them smiled all the way through. Will chased the taste of himself on Kyle's tongue, and wondered how long it would be before they could do that again.

“So,” Kyle said, in between kisses. “Can I take you for that drink another night?”

btw after this Will got several weeks’ worth of excellent head and never had any trouble with Chuck ever again :)

Quicksilver au

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