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fipindustries · 5 years ago

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my experience with my gender and my sexuality

because i think it is about fucking time i talk about this somewhere. this is a cheerful post, intimate sure, way too oversharing, certainly, but i like to think of it as joyous sharing because i feel like i can finally talk about this stuff freely and gosh ive been keeping so many things on the inside and now i just want to shout them to the world, consequences be damned

for years i have fantasized about becoming a woman. i will say it here now: i want to be a woman, i want to try it, i want to know what is like to look like one, to dress like one, to be called one, to be treated as one. if after a while i get bored of it, or tired or figure out its not my true self, or it just doesnt fit me for whatever reason then i reserve the right to back off and try something else. but for now this is my state of being and im going to share the story of how i got here.

my earliest memories of dealing with this confusion are about me reading a magazine talking about trans issues and me watching the movie “ma vie en rose” and “boys dont cry”. i was too young perhaps to be exposed to these ideas in such a candid and direct way. perhaps not mature enough to fully process or understand what i had seen, to the point that for most of my childhood i had this irrational fear that i would become a woman when i hit puberty. that my dick would just shrink into a vagina, that i would start growing tits, that i would get pregnant, etc.

i was a very unmasculine child, i didnt like sports, in fact i didnt like most typically boyish stuff. i thought muscles where gross, i thought violence and fighting was scary. i thought most boys played too rough for my taste. i was meek, shy, and a huge nerd. but i also had a strange rejection for most girly stuff. it was too soft and frilly and silly and pink and yucky. on top of all that, my understanding of trans people was mostly shaped then by drag queens and outrageous transvestites whose aesthetic, to this day, i find garish, over the top and unpleasant to look at. sorry, is just not something i identify with.

during this time i started to engage in all sorts of strange games as a child. i would start trying on my sister’s panties or my mom’s panties in the shower. i would created these elaborate scenarios where i would have all the stuffed toys in my room “kidnap” me, force me to give birth to them and then breast feed them.

cartoon shows that dealt with themes of gender bending held a powerful fascination to me, i particularly remember the fairly odd parents episode “the boy who would be queen”. i had this strange sense of love-hate relationship with it and anything on that topic where i just couldnt help to be obssessed with it but at the same time feel like it was illicit or transgressive for me to watch it.

then i hit puberty and a light switch went off. where instead of being scared or unnerved by those ideas i just kept obssessing more and more over them. i started googling everything i could about gender bending, about gynecomastia, about how to grow breasts with certain herbs or supplements. it was specifically on the breasts that i was fixated, i kept promissing myself that i would get them no matter what.

at the same time on the outside i was more than comfortable presenting myself as a boy, a geeky boy sure, but a boy all the same. i liked wearing high waisted pants, tucked in shirt and tie. i liked having short hair. i fantasized about growing a mustache. what’s more i definetly identified as a boy. i went to an all boy’s high school where we were taught stereotipicaly male things like working with heavy machinery, welding, general workshop engeneering stuff and i enjoyed all of it. i was still a huge outcast and not the manliest person but back then i figured it was because i was just a huge nerd.

i had no rejection of my body or the changes it was going through, i grew hair, limbs, genitals, etc and didnt thought much of it that i can recall, beyond a vague sense of not wanting to look too adult because it made me look too much like my dad, with whom i never had the best of relationships. beyond that socially i was a boy and had no issues fitting there.

i masturbated a lot, and a lot of those fantasies involved gender bending. usually boys growing breasts, boys being subjected to forced feminization, etc. there were other fantasies but those dont have a lot of bearing on the subject at hand. one of the things that excited me the most back then was to call myself a woman. to insist over and over that i was a girl. like the feeling that i was brainwashing myself into femminity was a huge turn on (this is why for the longest time i was convinced i was an autogynephile, and honestly, jury’s still out on that account). then, as soon as i finished i would quickly tell myself “im not a woman” as a strange way of “no homo” myself from my fantasies. i was still doing ocassional crossdressing whenever i was alone at home with my mom’s clothes, again, usually for the purposes of masturbation

i have been attracted to girls for the large majority of my life, it wouldnt be until college that i would experiment with boys too and found that i could enjoy that as well, but my main interest has always been consistently girls. yet a lot of the time my attraction towards girls would come from a place of envy. of apreciating how pretty they looked and wishing i could look that pretty myself. once i started college most of these fantasies came with me, i kept researching about gender bending and about ways i could try to gender bend myself. some times it was because of fetishistic reasons but a lot of the time was because i just found the subject inherently fascinating. it was like this that i came across a lot of information about trans people, back in like 2011 and when i first started to really understand them as a community and grapple with concepts such a gender dysphoria and such. back then i reached the conclussion that while i understood and sympathized with trans women, i was just a crossdresser because i didnt experience gender dysphoria and because i had never experienced anything even close to the feeling of “being a woman on the inside”.

what was more, it was around this time that identity politics really started to get traction, things like “die cis scum”, “yes all men”, “white men tears” etc started to be thrown around and, as someone who had been identifying as male for his entire life, i felt personally attacked by most of it. an immature reaction on hindsight, but a reaction that cemented in my mind the idea that i was a man and there were no buts or ifs about it.

i kept crossdressing, i kept fantasizing, i kept fetishizing. i even experiemented with auto hypnosis because i was realizing more and more that i was never going to be able to truly make my fantasy about becoming a woman real so was was willing to try anything that would get me even close to it. i cross dressed because i liked the way i looked, i liked the way the clothes felt against my skin, i liked the feeling of trying on a different role, one that was forbidden to me. as time went on i stated doing it less and less because of the sexual gratification and more for its own sake.

then the crisis came.

i wrote about this before, i saw a bunch of people i knew coming out of the closet at an advanced age, people like jacob chapman, the wachowsky sisters, even reading about the story of how allison bechdel. the idea of someone figuring out their identity way into their adulthood shattered my world view and it introduced me the possibility that i might be in the same situation, which led me to panic. all the crossdressing, the fascination with gender bending and with trans issues were strongly suggestive if nothing else, but back then i was just not ready at all to confront those possibilities so i supressed like a mad man.

three years later, here i am. during those three years i slowly and gradually came to grips the possibility, slowly losing my fear of what i might lose if i came out of the closet, slowly examining my self and comparing my story with the story of others in the community. finding differences but also finding a lot of similarities. for the longest time my trans ex girlfriend would insist that i was very much not trans because a lot of my experiences were very different from hers, such as the fact that i never had issues inhabiting the rol of a boy whereas her dysphoria had been strong enough to the point of suicidal tendencies for most of her life.

one of my biggest concerns had always been the fact that i had heard from many trans people that their dysphoria hadnt really kicked in until after they started transitioning. as in, once they started trying to look like women then they realized how far away they were from truly being one, making what until then had been a vague feeling of discomfort into a true rejection of their own body. but then on the other hand there was also the real possibility that i would end up having a mental breakdown once i hit my fifties after years of repression and by that point i would look like just an old man in a wig

i think what finally made me tip over the edge were the contra points videos and the reddit community egg_irl. i just identified too much with what i saw there, and breaking up with my gf had left me free to explore those feelings without fear of ruining my relationship. so where does that leave me?

still confused, but no longer scared of the answers. willing to give this and honest go and see where it takes me. im still not ready to call myself a trans girl with all the letters. i understand that gender is complicated but i would really appreciate a unified theory of gender to help me make heads or tails of what i am and what i am feeling beyond vague notions about “the spectrum” and “social roles”. i guess i could be considered gender fluid as of right now but honestly that label doesnt mean that much to me on a practical sense considering i am still presenting my self as a boy in my every day life with one or two exceptions

i have a lot of work ahead of me and for once i am excited about doing it right.

#most of this is just me drafting what im going to say to my therapist #rambly

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moth-moth-the-magic-moth · 3 years ago

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I'm a genderfluid bi person (afab) who thought i was a lesbain for a long time. (only mentioned my assigned gender at birth for context for the lesbian thing.)

I delt with this for a LONG time. To the point where I was trying desperately to compartmentalize men I was attracted to into different kinds of attraction--aesthetic, gender envy, etc--which are ALL valid forms of attraction and were partially right, but not entirely what i was feeling.

And that was with like, singers and fictional characters and actors. It took meeting a person (he/they) who I realized I was really attracted to to make me start taking down those walls and realize, it's okay that I'm bi. And yeah, I still experience gender envy, because I'm still under the trans umbrella. But it's okay that I like boys. It's fucking great actually!

MEN ARE HOT ACTUALLY and there's so many different kinds of men!!! People have different tastes in men and that's so cool!!

I'm kind of sad to say that when I started dating the guy who made me re-question my sexuality and re-come out as bi, the most support i found for the relationship was from my cishet female coworkers. they were super supportive of my queerness and my gender identity and the were just excited that I found a great partner, asked where I had found such a good guy. I was kinda scared to re-come out as bi in queer spaces because i was such a proud lesbian for so long.

I identified myself by my love of women exclusively for so long I became ashamed of my love for men.

So try not to fall into that trap that I did!!! love who you love and love yourself for that please. and don't shame other people for who they love. We've been fighting that for far too long, we don't need that coming from within our community.

Peace out queers ✌✨

if you think that what gender you are attrached to as an indication of morality then....you're fucking sippin the radfem juice. i hear SO MANY young women say they feel bad for being attracted to men. they groan and say, "I know it's wrong but I find men so hot."

like...what??? have we really doubled back so far that we're back to shaming women for their sexual and romantic desires???

radical feminism hurts everyone, even the ppl it claims to be for.

#this wasn't super well written but i'm very proud of my story and this felt like a good time to share it.#bisexuality #bi positivity

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surflove808 · 7 years ago

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All things “queerbait”, “so gay”, cranky shippers, etc ad infinitum. Here’s my long-ass essay on why I think it’s destructive to this show and fandom mentality in general. Part 1 :D

This is going to be sooo long. Because I am sooo fed up with the bullshit I keep seeing on here. So, I am going to break this into 2 parts. Part 1 deals with the show and its FICTIONAL characters. Part 2 will deal with the actual actors involved in making this show. I'm pissed because what could have just been supposition and discussion among fans took a wrong turn somewhere, and turned into a forum for bullying and scandalizing the actors/show. And seeing that even when they try to have a sense of humor about it, or be ingratiating to the fans about it, it always backfires on them....and ultimately, something that should be harmless (a ship) has become a toxic force of nature.

I'm going to give my 2 cents on the most annoyingly common misconceptions that I've seen being used as more can(n)on fodder because if I post and get this reblogged enough, maybe, just maybe... more people can be exposed to a more balanced interpretation.

My problem is not with the possibility of Dean being gay/bi. My problem is not with Dean and Cas possibly exploring a romantic relationship. Not at all. My problem is with the dedicated and rabid group of people that have gone over the top with their harassment on public forums regarding these characters sexuality, and linking it to the real, live human beings that portray them. Both crossing and blurring lines in a very destructive way, on Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, you name it... This show has so many incredible themes and messages regarding friendship, love, loyalty, trust, perseverance and family and THAT'S your takeaway? An unhealthy obsession with Dean's sexual preference??

Dean, by virtue of his looks, charisma and personality, has chemistry with almost EVERYONE. Have you noticed?? The character of Dean is written and portrayed as a naturally charismatic, flirtatious and sensual person. He wholeheartedly dives into anything that he enjoys. Eating, hunting, fucking, drinking. He doesn't seem to really appreciate boundaries or restrictions. So, what's stopping him from exploring his sexuality with men?

As far as I can see, the character of Dean as originally conceptualized and executed brilliantly by his frigging creator, Eric Kripke, was then, as you see him now, many things. But also hetero. He's also accepting, scarred, goofy, resilient, co-dependent, loving, protective, the list goes on and on.

But what he is NOT and has NEVER been written as, is gay or bi. And if you have a problem with that, that’s not a flaw in the program you’re watching. That’s your problem. If he undergoes character development that radically redefines not only how he sees himself, but how the viewer sees him, after 12 years? That's a delicate task that I don't envy the writers having to undertake, considering, the only reason they would do that so late in the game, is because they caved to pressure from the "fandom". And I use quotation marks there because, if you want an iconic character to represent your views? Write them yourself. Create them. But don't try to bully your way into another persons creation. Here's the kicker. Out of 264 episodes that have aired so far, and countless canon instances of Dean being hetero.... here are the handful of examples that certain people have latched onto as gospel:

1. Dean and the Siren, season 4, episode 14, Sex and Violence: I can't tell you how many times I've seen some Jr. detective go "A-HA! Deans siren was a MAN! Therefore, he is GAY!" If you use just a smidge of deductive reasoning and pay attention to the season leading up to this episode, and the description of a siren that was helpfully included in the episode, you could easily and reasonably deduce that because a siren's powers of seduction come from the ability to be ANYTHING to ANYONE and be that persons greatest desire.... that it makes sense for the siren to take the form of a cool, non-judgemental, trustworthy younger brother-type who has the same taste in and love for music that Dean has. Someone he can relate to. A peer.

What do you get the man who can have almost any woman that he wants?

Not a stripper, folks.

And what does Dean really want? At this point, he wants a brother who trusts his experience and instincts. A brother that he can trust. A brother who doesn't feel like a complete stranger. A friend, for fucks sake. It's not implied. It's not a theory. It's literally written and discussed IN THE EPISODE, people. Move on.

2. Dean and Gunnar Lawless, season 11, episode 15, Beyond the Mat: If you know any guys who are into sports or bands, and have never seen them go batshit fanboy over one of their sports or music heroes...then you just haven't spent enough time with them on their turf.

3. Deans "gay thing", season 8, episode 13, Everybody Hates Hitler: If you've never been hit on when you weren't expecting it, especially by someone you weren't expecting it from, I could see why you couldn't comprehend his behavior. If you HAVE, you were probably flustered by it. Probably didn't react as smoothly as you thought you would, amiright? I know I haven’t.

It seemed he was flattered, but didn't know what to do with himself. If he were bi/gay, and attracted to the possibility of a no-strings hookup with a willing and anonymous stranger... a blow-and-go in the mens room, for example... I think Dean could/would have easily pursued it, based on his hit rate thus far. The one area in which he has 100% confidence and zero shame, is sexual conquests. Sam wasn't around. There was nothing holding him back. So, aside from being uncertain of how to extricate himself from an awkward situation, and being flustered, I got nothin’.

4. Dean and Dr. Sexy, season 5, episode 8, Changing Channels: Not much to say here. Dean clearly had a man crush on Dr. Sexy. Would he have boned him if given the chance? Maybe. Maybe not. Ask a guy friend who idolizes Aaron Rogers or Eddie Vedder (for example) if he'd let them stick it in his pooper based on principle alone. Chances are, that guy friend would probably say "Hall pass!" If the situation actually presented itself though? He might just gush over the guy and call it a day. Who knows? WE don't.

5. Dean and Crowley: Again, ask a guy friend if he would share a room and triplets with a buddy if there were no consequences (girlfriend, things getting "weird, etc), and see what he says. The answer may surprise you. Maybe I just know a lot of uninhibited, sexy bastards!

6. Dean and Benny: Brothers in arms who go through intense combat together can and more often than not, DO form close bonds. There was nothing in this friendship that even intimated at these two having any sexual or romantic designs on each other, yet.... people still try to make it work. Bless their hearts.

7. The Big One: Dean and Cas: Dean has had countless opportunities over the years to make a move. And I DO believe he loves Cas, very much. Cas clearly loves and admires Dean. They have been through some serious shit together since day one, that neither Sam nor anyone else can compete with. But some very good advice I heard once, applies here (and this is why the 10-year crush turning into romance in rom-coms is such bullshit): If someone likes you - you WILL know. They will make a move. Or you will. And neither of you will take 10 + years to do it if there are no barriers (significant other). And if a move is made and not reciprocated? It's not because they or you is holding something back. That's just a lie we tell ourselves. SOMEONE is just not interested.

Though I love their dynamic, I'm not a Destiel shipper, but I'm willing to go either way with this one. I will say, I don't by any stretch of the imagination think the writers, actors or directors are 'queerbaiting", though. That's like accusing a crush of leading you on when it was really in your head the whole time. Their chemistry is incredible. But from what I've seen with my eyes, in the actual episodes, his relationship with Cas does not say unrequited love, sexual attraction or romance. However, if I went by the slowed-down, out-of-context gifs that are prevalent on Tumblr, I could see where people get the idea. And because these are two men who love, admire and respect each other and sometimes bicker like an old married couple, I suppose that makes them different than us and our best friends, somehow? This makes me sad, because this is a unique show, in that it deeply explores mens relationships with one another (because they're human beings too), and they just can't do that without a group of immature people giggling behind their backs in the hallways because intimacy is so intimidating that it must be mitigated by making fun of it or spreading nonsensical theories about it. Right?

Small wonder that heteronormative men, as a general rule, have so much social conditioning and shame to wade through when it comes to expressing love and care for their same-sex friends and family. (Yes, men have problems too. Not as many as us, by a long shot. But this is one of them)

You see, menfolk are expected to behave in a manfolk way, and if their behavior isn’t within the traditional and narrowly defined parameters as “hetero male”, they face the perceived stigma that accompanies “coming out”, which involves the very real fears of supposition, persecution, politicizing, backlash, gossip, undermining. etc.

This show has taken many chances. And they’re not afraid to write for and represent LGBTQ characters. But Chuck forbid that emotionally resonant, well-written, vulnerable and emotional male characters exist AND allow them to be straight. Unthinkable! And that snarky, gossipy, “tee-hee” mentality is just what enforces rigid gender roles on men and women in the 1st place. Every post I see that giggles about Cas and Dean being gay for each other because....gifs...just throws us back 50 years. Your words do have meaning, people.

If you want to know what you can do to pave the way for LGBTQ representation in entertainment and the world at large? Take the small step of acknowledging that same sex characters can feel the same range of emotions that you do for your same sex friends. Can have sustained eye contact. Can love one another, and can tenderly care for one another without you sexualizing it, fantasizing about it and policing it. I’m asking you to think about this, because this way of thinking affects everyone. Gay, straight, etc.

Season 1 Sam and Dean: Hetero. Sam in an LTR at beginning, Dean with potential to re-enter his relationship with Cassie.

This show was marketed towards males in the 18-24 demographic, but curiously, more women are interested in these boys and their story. Because they’re allowed to care without judgement. Ahem.

*As seasons go by...* Clearly, judging by the polls and hate mail...neither brother can ever have or sustain a romantic relationship with a woman. EVER again!* And it as been widely acknowledged by the cast and producers that the fans don’t want to see the Winchesters spend too much time with what they deem as a threatening female.

Why do you think Castiel was even allowed to make it this far? Sure, he’s an amazing character. But if it were Anna who dragged Dean from Hell and ultimately stuck around? Yeah, no. That was never gonna happen.

Basically, these fuckers can’t win. If they’re hetero and stay hetero, that’s a bad thing. If their characters do a 180 to please the most vocal (unfortunately) fans - then they’re caving in to pressure.

Either way, I think it's safe to say, us fans are ultimately invested (I hope) in these characters achieving happiness, wherever they find it. And personally, I'll be happy either way. But seeing this hyperbolic, over the top bullshit online that this crew are queerbaiting, etc...and that "If Destiel isn't made canon, I'm gonna do X,Y,Z..." is disgusting to me.

The musings, wishful thinking and conspiracy theories are one thing. And that's perfectly fine. I’ve got nothin but love for fanficiton writers! But drawing parallels and conclusions from some of the flimsiest crumbs available, and using that limited intel to cajole, threaten, bash and attempt to shame the actors, the crew, and the producers who work their asses off to bring us this amazing show, is pretty fucking shitty in my opinion.

These aren't public servants, guys. We're not paying them to make this show. If you want to know how a show on the CW gets funded and made - google it. If you want to know how much of a time crunch/pressure cooker situation the writers are working in, not to mention the entire team in order to produce 23 episodes per season....again, google it. And then tell me how they're able to not only craft compelling episodes and cram so much storyline, exposition, dialogue, character development, arc support, scheduling, casting, art direction, stunt coordination, set design, etc ad infinitum into each and every week, and STILL have time to drop easter eggs, and "queerbait"....

Just. To. Fuck. With. You. And undermine LGBTQ efforts at representation? They are very kind and loyal to their fans. And we DON'T OWN THEM. If you don't like what you're seeing, don't watch. But for fucks sake - do the fandom and yourselves a favor and direct your crusade towards ACTUAL threats to LBGTQ freedoms and rights.

Here's a list of places to lend support (to name a few): Family Equality Council Human Rights Campaign GLAD PFLAG Transgender Law Center Your local congressman, FFS

Rant over. If you made it this far, thank you. I owe you a fruit basket! And feel free to engage, put me on blast if you want. Let's have a discussion. But if you agree with me at all, please reblog this.... just to give some folks another point of view.

Blanket statement for those who are offended and have already called me an “asshole”, etc on their own tags:

1. This is NOT by any stretch of the imagination an anti-shipper or anti-Destiel post. I clearly stated that I don't have a problem with either. And if it happened organically in the show, as opposed to under pressure? More power to them. And I do adore Castiel.

2. This is NOT an anti-LGBTQ post. Again, clearly stated throughout the post.

3. This is NOT and never was anti-headcanon post. We all have headcanons to some degree. And If anyone wants to step up and tell me not to support an organization that's doing good work, just because I sunk their battleship... they can suck it. I also belong to some of these organizations, and I'm pretty sure they're not as invested in your headcanon as you are. And thejabberwock, I still admire your insights and posts, but am bummed that you missed the damn point of mine entirely. Per your request, I have removed your association from the original post.

4. This IS an anti-harassment post, directed at individuals who have taken this ship so far, that they've tainted the word and the concept for almost everyone else with their shitty, pushy behavior. If this describes you? I'm happy to have offended you.

5. This IS an anti-ignorance post, directed at individuals who are presented with facts and reliable data from the writers, the actors and the episodes themselves, yet refuse to acknowledge anything out of their own headcanon. Who insist on "knowing the truth" and using that arrogance to try to *Out* the characters, *Out* the actors and use threats and insults towards anyone who disagrees. If you thought I was talking to you directly, after reading that? I probably was.

6. This IS an anti-misinformation campaign post aimed at clearing up some common misconceptions.

Lastly, reading comprehension is really crucial here. I know it was a lot to read, I apologize for that. But if you're skimming through and picking and choosing something to be offended over, and continuing to feel personally persecuted regardless of whether or not that's the reality... rather than reading and understanding the entire message? Well, there's nothing more I can say or do.

#destiel #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel #crowley #supernatural #spnfamily #spnfandom #Jensen Ackles #Misha Collins #fedthefuckup #queerbaiting #fuckingwafflehouseidontcare #wafflehouse?#cockles #imcomingforyounext

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ravenswood · 7 years ago

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arabella, circe, caoimhe!

ooo some of my lesser loved ocs, i’m all for it

arabella

B A S I C S

full name: arabella van doren

gender: cis female

sexuality: pansexual panromantic

pronouns: she/her

O T H E R S

family: her father, mother and two sisters, all long deceased

birthplace: ireland

job: adventurer, explorer

phobias: being alone, entrapment, commitment

guilty pleasures: expensive food and expensive things in general - she’s a former pirate what do you want from her

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: chaotic neutral

sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath

virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: extrovert

organized/disorganized: disorganized

close minded/open-minded: open-minded

calm/anxious: calm, but like that devil-may-care sort of chill

disagreeable/agreeable: agreeable

cautious/reckless: reckless

patient/impatient: impatient

outspoken/reserved: outspoken

leader/follower: leader

empathetic/unemphatic: empathetic

optimistic/pessimistic: optimistic

traditional/modern: modern

hard-working/lazy: lazy

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: arabella/holly!

ot3: arabella/holly/holly’s exasperation

brotp: honestly she and vit would be amazing friends

notp: --

circe

B A S I C S

full name: circe manning

gender: trans female

sexuality: bisexual biromantic

pronouns: she/her

O T H E R S

family: her mother and brother, living, and her father, deceased

birthplace: new orleans

job: homicide detective/necromancer

phobias: failure, heights

guilty pleasures: the trashiest of trash tv

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: lawful neutral

sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath

virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: introvert

organized/disorganized: organized

close minded/open-minded: open-minded

calm/anxious: calm

disagreeable/agreeable: disagreeable

cautious/reckless: cautious

patient/impatient: impatient

outspoken/reserved: reserved

leader/follower: leader

empathetic/unemphatic: empathetic, which most people don’t expect

optimistic/pessimistic: realistic, erring on the side of pessimistic

traditional/modern: traditional

hard-working/lazy: hard-working

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: --

ot3: --

brotp: circe/ace, her german shepherd familiar -- he talks and is a Good Boy

notp: --

caoimhe

B A S I C S

full name: caoimhe, she’ll probably take lynette’s last name if necessary but last names aren’t customary for her breed of selkies

gender: demi-girl

sexuality: bisexual biromantic

pronouns: she/her

O T H E R S

family: her mother and many, many sisters, aunts, cousins etc.

birthplace: the atlantic ocean

job: --

phobias: enclosed spaces, loud noises, most men

guilty pleasures: it used to be pulpy romance novels but they leave a bad taste in her mouth now

M O R A L S

morality alignment?: true neutral

sins - lust/greed/gluttony/sloth/pride/envy/wrath

virtues - chastity/charity/diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice

T H I S - O R - T H A T

introvert/extrovert: introvert

organized/disorganized: organized

close minded/open-minded: open-minded

calm/anxious: anxious

disagreeable/agreeable: agreeable

cautious/reckless: cautious

patient/impatient: patient

outspoken/reserved: reserved

leader/follower: follower

empathetic/unemphatic: empathetic

optimistic/pessimistic: optimistic

traditional/modern: modern

hard-working/lazy: hard-working

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

otp: caoimhe/lynette

ot3: caoimhe/lynette/happiness,

brotp: she’d probs get along with adrienne, if they ever met

notp: caoimhe/her shitty ex

#thanks storm!!#ocs #numinousbones #caoimhe #circe #arabella

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far-away-stars · 7 years ago

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For Illyrio: 7, 18, 23, 25 & 43

@trashmuh

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Not many things. He usually focuses on a personal perspective where he works hard so that every is better than the one before. He probably misses the Cold War, but just because it made his job easier.

Real nostalgia he tries to fight off, because he knows that his life has truly gotten extraordinary better in the last 20 years, so he knows that his memories are usually distorted when he remembers fondly some old events. He’s too pragmatic. If he ever falls into nostalgia it would be in a moment of deep sentimentality, but it’s both rare and usually linked to a complex chain of thoughts. He doesn’t like the feeling at lot no. He doesn’t want to think that there are thing missing in his life.

18. What embarrasses them?

A lot of things, actually. Illyrio is so obsessed with control and appearances that the sole suspect of having said/done something bad or inappropriate in front of the wrong audience just gets him in a poor state of mind. In general being proved wrong on a matter where he thought he couldn’t be or being put in any situation improper of his rank. In simpler cases just doing things he doesn’t master very well.

His own mistakes or anything that has the chance of discredit him, basically. He’s afraid people are going to stop taking him seriously and send him in the slave pit again. It’s not a pleasant sensation. In private settings it’s better, but it still kinda gets him nervous. He’s a sucker for habits and for never doing anything new ever.

Some examples are : people hearing him sing, being interrupted with better data during Council sessions, trying to cook.

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

He usually becomes cold and resentful, but he does get aggressive if he thinks he has been personally wronged. He won’t really just take it, because he wants things and people to bend to his will, not break. As long as his dignity is not too harmed he’ll try to just earn it somehow, otherwise he’ll start to get dark. Possibly even feeling like destroying both the object of desire than the wielder, if the anger and the bitterness are too strong.

But he’ll always try to just convince himself that his envy is not justified and remove himself from the situation first. It depends how personal it is.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage?

He’s used to think it more as a political tool, it’s how he saw it work in Sith society. It’s a formality or a way to gain something. It’s not evil or shallow, but it is something he thought he successfully escaped thanks to already having a heir. That being said he never really delved into a serious relationship before.

He may just reach the point where he considers his significant other family, where he wants them to be together until the end of times, where he trusts him with everything he has and he is, with his legacy and his possessions and his blood. Than he may accept to just make it official. Don’t you think?

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“Attracted to men and women who I decently trust not to stab me while I sleep and who are pleasing to my tastes. I’m not an expert of all the other gender stuff, so let’s stick with binary. Manners and respect are a must.”

#trashmuh #as if -Muhren- wasn't an appropriate answer to all those questions and you knew it #you minx #ily #thanks for the ask <3 #ask : Illyrio #oc : Illyrio #princess-triton

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hautepinkprblog · 7 years ago

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Pink is Not a Strategy

So Why Do I Use Pink In My Brand?

I recently read an article titled “How to Get Marketing to Women Right“. It made me laugh because of two points that are dear to me, one is the color pink and the other is the reference to Coors – okay I do enjoy a cold Coors Light every now and again.

Moving on as you read the article below I agree that the color pink is not a strategy when trying to attract women to your brand or business. I personally believe in feel that your brand colors and strategy should be colors, images, etc. that you can stand to look at day in and day out. My favorite colors since childhood has been pink, black, grey, brown, and blues. My wardrobe is made up of 90% of shades of pink, blacks, and greys – then a handful of other colors.

I fought using pink for years in my business and at the end of the day if I wear pink every day, my mousepad is pink, my laptop bag is pink, my purse is black, my lipstick is pink why the fuck am I am not using pink in my brand!

Point is I agree pink isn’t a strategy to attract women — but if you love pink and you don’t like the color purple or orange don’t use them in your band!

Enjoy the original article below – share with me your thoughts on the article and using PINK in your brand.

How To Get Marketing To Women Right

By Linda Landers | Posted: January 31, 2018

According to The Economist:

The growing economic power of women is one of the most important trends of our time.

Key growth drivers, such as delaying marriage and children as well as rising literacy rates, indicate the average U.S. woman’s salary will rise above the average U.S. man’s by the year 2028.

Women currently control $7 trillion in U.S. spending.

And during the next decade, they will control two-thirds of the country’s overall consumer wealth.

Women influence are responsible for 85 percent of all consumer purchases,including everything from cars and healthcare to consumer electronics and bank accounts.

But many marketers look at the purchasing power of women as a niche market.

Noted in a study, 91 percent of female consumers agree that marketers don’t understand them.

The X and Y Brains

It comes down to this: men and women think differently. Neither is right or wrong—just different.

Fact: female brains have four times more connections between the left and right hemispheres, requiring them to process information four times faster than men while taking in four times as many signals to filter.

This increased brain connectivity allows a woman to multi-task more effectively than a man.

Men, on the other hand, have the “Big T”—testosterone.

The hormone responsible for male personality traits such as self-assertiveness, competitiveness, risk-taking, and thrill-seeking.

And while men are more left-brain dominant, where analytical thought and logic live, women have more balance between left and right-brain processing.

Because of this, women seem to be more intuitive and better communicators.

According to NPD Group, analysts for the retail industry:

The ability to reach the female market represents the biggest growth opportunity ever for most consumer products.

When developing a strategy for marketing to women, marketers need to keep some key points in mind.

Pink is Not a Strategy

When a brand offers a product in only one color, and that color is pink, it sends the message that we haven’t put any thought into this at all.

Though there are women who prefer pink, and it has become the official color of breast cancer, it’s best to consider it as simply one color among many.

Lose the Stereotypes

“Shrink it and pink it” is the most common stereotype, but there are many others.

Example: Forty-one percent of mothers had a child outside of marriage this past year and do not connect with the stereotypical nuclear family.

While women may be victims of various stereotypes including sex object, Stepford wife, or soccer mom, men are also fighting stereotypes such as macho man, incompetent dad, and beer-drinking couch potato.

Women appreciate recognition for their accomplishments and want to be shown in roles of empowerment.

There is No “One” Female Demographic

Women are not a homogenous group; there is no one female demographic.

It’s important to recognize a woman’s life stage as well as her chronological age.

Women who have children later in life may better relate to other women who have children the same age, rather than those in her age group.

Each female sub-set has its unique interests and values that influence purchasing behaviors.

Work-at-home moms, single women, and empty nesters all want to recognize themselves in a brand’s marketing messages.

Women Respond to a Good Story

Storytelling as a marketing strategy is hot right now, and good stories help women consumers decide if they like, trust, and want to do business with a brand.

A story can set the stage for a relationship that can last for years.

Most consumers, including women, like stories that entertain, enlighten and educate.

Women love to laugh, and brands that know how to tell a good story will increasingly have her attention.

Understanding Consumer Psychographics

While men, in general, are naturally more transactional by nature and motivated by status and envy, women are more often driven by empathy.

Women want to belong and to be understood. Whereas men more often want to be admired, women want to be appreciated.

Women also tend to shop with all senses. Not just sight and sound, but scent, touch, and taste.

Think about brands such as Anthropologie, Trader Joes, and Sephora and how they build all the senses into their marketing.

Many brands are already thinking differently about their marketing messages.

Unilever is one such brand, issuing a rallying cry to the industry to rethink how it portrays men and women in advertising.

Also, brands such as Harley-Davidson, Adidas, Lamborghini, Michelob, and the NFL are adjusting brand messaging to make them more inclusive.

For most of these companies, even though women might use their products, they aren’t the main focus—or even taken into account at all—when creating marketing messages.

Coors marketing director, Elina Vives, has this to say:

Brands today have to stop insulting women and be much more inclusive. The beer category overall is a little bit behind. Women drink 25 percent of the beer in this country. That’s not a niche.

Marketing to Women Moves Past Women of Yesterday

Today, we’re moving past speaking to females as the women of yesterday.

Marketers are beginning to realize they need to speak to women as people, as athletes, as beer drinkers, and recognize them as key purchasers of nearly everything.

Challenging stereotypes is a good thing.

But in our effort to promote gender equality, let’s also remember the fundamental and physiological truths about how each gender receives and processes information.

Neither is better or worse, just different.

Linda Landers is the Founder & CEO of Girlpower Marketing, a PR and Digital Marketing firm in Southern California. A version of this article originally appeared on the Spin Sucks blog .

The post Pink is Not a Strategy appeared first on Haute Pink PR .

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