#my gay son. my bby he's come so far i just want to hold him and cry and cry and cry and tell him he did well

[theinfinitedivides]

he fixed the shoes. he fixed the shoes and i was going to be just fine with that until he fixed her shoes too and touched both pairs like he was finally giving his blessing to them and that sh*t f*cked me up. that was it i started wailing

[mikkock]

Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?

Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)

But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)

SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)

So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.

They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)

cuties.

I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg

First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.

Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)

But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.

He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).

Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)

Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.

He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.

He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.

he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)

He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)

While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.

I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.

He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)

First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.

He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.

Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.

nerd.

Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.

Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…

He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.

Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)

best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth” 

He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks). 

He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.

but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.

his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)

while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)

if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.

he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.

he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget. 

he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)

While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???

But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,, 

Make them fall in love obviously.

Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.

So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed

BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.

Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.

First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.

The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)

Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.

(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)

Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)

in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they’d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.

(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)

SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)

Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.

Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)

n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)

[onewfantaesy]

It’s 2010 bitch!!!

written also with @spacetaemin, @5hineesback, @choitaemins and @sabakunocasali  (and probably many others)

“Minho shoot the ball” yelled super jock Kim Jonghyun as he ran down the footballl field. Minho, baseball in hand, hit the soccer ball so hard it become a touchdown. Everyone in the audience cheered but especially Taemin, long haired bb child innocent my son,,,doesn’t know a damn thing about anything. Evry1 thinks hes a girl but rly hes just feminine and cute and clueless!

Sitting next to Taemin was his best-friend-but-also-pseudo-mother, Kim Kibum, better known as “Key Umma.”

“I did it I got a homerun!!!” Choi Minho, the coolest jock in school, yelled as he ran on the track. He locked eyes w/ his super beautiful girlfriend, Yuri. She was so hot and he wsa really heterosexual and straight. Nothing would ever change that!!!!

Jonghyun, the token gay on the Sports team, immediately ran to his boyfriend in the stands, Key. The two embraced lovingly, proclaiming their love in front of the entire school because apparently homophobia isnt a thing and high schcool is just Amazing. They were the only Gays (Trademark) in the entire school (a/n: or so everyone Thought!!!!! Wink wink!!!!), and everyone knew that they Loved each other So Deeply that they would probably get married right after graduation. (a/n: jonghyun is thinking of proposing right after the game!!! He has a ring in jock strap and everything!!)

Minho looked on, disgusted. How could they possibly be okay wit THAT? He knew deep down he was truly homophobic. Minho hated gays!!! Suspicious that no one ever questioned why…

The next day they had to go to science class because it’s school and that’s what happens sometimes. Of course this was only for Loser kids, and Kim “Straight” Jonghyun wasnt One of those kids. He didnt even go to school he just sat in the basketball courts and pretended. He was cooler than That

Minho was still in class though because he was even cooler than Jonghyun and the coolest kids break the expectations of what’s expected of them. He sat in sciencey class ignoring the teacher. He scribbled down his favorite cereal recipes to pass the time.

Meanwhile, sitting int he back of the class was Taemin, even though he and minho aren’t even in the same grade. Taemin scribbled Minho’s name in little hearts all over his notebook, slamming it clsoed as loud and dramatically as possible when his teacher called him out for not paying attention.Minho didnt even know taemin Existed, let alone that he was a…..boy.. (and minho, as established, is not A Gay..he couldnt be!.. ..

Minho looked up at this. “Who’s That Girl” by EXID played in the background as Minho looked at Taemin for the first time...who WAS this boi? And WHY did he want to know? There’s no possible way that this literal nobody could make Minho question himself

The bell rang, and now it’s lunch because of course lunch happens right after the only class of the day. Taemin went to sit with Key Umma and Kim “Call Me Appa” Jonghyun at their usual lunch table (which was the only place at school jonghyun would actually go because usually hed be sitting alone in a basketball court). Taemin had lunch from home, because he would never eat the gross Cafeteria food that was served. Of course his Key Umma made the lunch for him since Taemin didn’t knwo how to make lunch at all. Taemin sipped on his 2 liter jug of banana milk(through a bendy straw courtesy of Key Umma) and innocently hummed a tune, blissfully unaware of the tragedies that occur in daily life.

“Life i s so good ummma” taemin said happily with a ray of sunshine coming down onto him from the window. Coincidentally, the sun also shines straight out of his asshole, and sometimes, a rainbow. “I don’t think anything can go wrong ever”

Just then!!! Minho, carrying his tray of Cafeteria food, tripped and fell and dropped all of his food right on Taemin’s head!!!

Key immediately stood up to defend his perfect pure virgin son, screeching at Minho for corrupting him with his School Food!!! Taemin didn’t even know what food was!! How dare Minho do this to him/!!!

“*sorry in Korean*” apologized Minho but Key umma was not having it. He hit Minho over the head with a his gucci bedazzled rhinestone purse, careful not to damage his perfectly manicured nails which no one at this school questioned, because he was the Queen Bee (and Shin Sekyung WASN’T) who everyone Feared.

Key immediately turned to Jonghyun, slapping his shoulder and saying, “Protect your Son!!!111!!”

Jonghyun, conflicted between defending his son’s honor and offending his Star Teammate, could only sit and now know what to do.

“Uwu it’s ok key ummma i-i can just go wash this off” taemin said as he poured banana milk on his head as a makeshift shower of sorts. Minho escorted him to the water fountains, dribbling a basketball as he did at literally all times ever.

“Minho oppa what’s basketball” taemin innocently asked.

“Ball is life” was the reply, Minho looking soulfully at the ceiling as if staring into the very eyes of god

“Ooooooh! That sounds so fun! Oppa-HYUNG you’re so dedicated and tall and amazing and I’m so...me” he said, sunshine still falling on him even though they were indoors, with the first hint of disappointment he’s ever shown in his whole Kawaii, Clueless life.

“Just you?” Minho yelled, dribbling his basketball faster. “NO”

“wae”

“Taemin you are so...kawaii” minho didn’t realize he said the words until he said them. A single tear rolled down his cheeks as he let himself realize...Taemin neomu yeppeo. He didnt want to admit it….but could these doki dokis…..be gay doki dokis????? It couldnt be. He continued dribbling.

“Minho ophyung..” taemin said dreamily as he stared into his chocolate orbs. This was it...he had fallen in love with the coolest jock in the school! But how could this happen? Taemin was just a lowly science nerd who even thoough was extremely pretty and beautiful nobody @ school liked him except for Key umma (and jonghyun but again, did he really evene go to this school? How old even is he???? Does he havea home?)  

Minho pushed taemin away. “Taemi i’m not gay okay and also...you’re in the sciencwe club. That’s fucking dumb” “Bbut……...hyoppa………...without science would ball still be life?”

“Ball is ALWAYS life!!!1!” Minho shouts in his face. Still dribbling.

“What if it isn’t??” Taemin challenged Minho’s way of life for the first time.”Without science, you wouldn’t even HAVE life!!”

This was too much thinking for Minho’s basketball brain to handle. Suddenly, he felt like he was going to explode. Key Umma hoped he would explode. “What if…..” taemin started, shakily, already in tears, “what if you’re–” “N O” minho answered, sprinting away with his long, gazelle like legs.

“What if…..ur my life……...hyoppa”

Minho was too far away to hear the tragic confession….

KEY’S POV

Today I’m wearing a gucci bedazzled purse, ripped jeans that has a cheetah print on them with black lace at the ends, red converse which have mud all over them from marching band even tho i don’t play an instrument, that’s only for preps! EW! (I dont march either, wwalking is too much work! They carry me on the drums because everyone fucking loves me and worships me like a god, but anyways) My diamond studded earings shone gracefully in the wind as I walked to the stupid jock-ey school holding the hands of the HOTTEST BOY I’VE EVER MET my boyfriend jonghyun! He has an eightpack and literally LIVES in a basketball court. Jonghyun isn’t just my boyfriend he’s also my bitch

Suddenly, Shin Sekyung.  And bees. What a stupid whore I hate her because she gets in the way of me and Jjongie!!! Also she has 30 boyfriends already, because shes a prep and a slut, and i only have three! Well, three counting all of jonghyun’s edgy personalities. At least two and a half are straight.

Shin Sekyung and her prep friends look at me. I put my middle finger up at them. I continue making out w my beautiful, hot bf and ignore them.

“What the hell are you doing you motherfuckers!!” Lee Sooman yelled as he ran across the campus, angrily shaking his fists.

“Oh no” Jonghyun said wearing his hot Good Charlotte shirt that I bought for him because I love Good Charlotte and MCR. Gerard Way is soooooooo hot. But not as hot as Jonghyun

“Key umma what’s going on” asked Taemin innocently as he tripped over his -2 sized shoes and fell onto the ground and dropped his banana milk. I had to protect my son from the stupid preps who go to this school that doesn’t even have any real emos in it. Sad!

I ran towards my baby careful not to get my $200 pedicure ruined by the grass

“My lil bab are u okay????? U lil innocent soul” I said as I pet his hair

“Umma what’s gay i don’t know what’s this is!”

I starts screaming that someone has corrupted his baby, even though he himself is the MotherGay, and he cradles Taemin’s perfect little cherub head close to his chest and tells him that he doens’t need to know what a penis is.

“That is only for grown ups!!!! You're too young bby” I said as I shook my head

“I went on the internet with my parents permission last night and looked it up but I just got confused! What’s a penis i don’t?? UNDERSTAND”

I SCREAMED

“TAEBBY YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PENISES!!!”

“BUT UMMA I THINK I HAVE ONE!!!”

“YOU DONT KNOW THAT! GO TO BED!” “Wwe;re at schcool” he sobbed

“TAEMIN GO TAKE A NAP IT’S NAP TIME FOR SWEET INNOCENT LITTLE BBYS”

I heard balls dibidibidribbling in the distance, getting close and closer. I turned my head it was Minho with at least 50balls!

Minho was such a stupid prep and I put my middle finger up at him. “Go away minho” i yelled sexily, “you must be the reason for my small baby child son’s corruption……...

Minho sneered “psh yea i got a functioning diccccc”

“Umma,” taemin piped up from his nap, “i think my penis likes minho”

“Taemin i’ve” minho started “i’ve come to terms w/ it..i’m Gay but only for you!!!! And only because you look like a girl with your hair!! My bae you’re so beautiful if you just wore contacts and wore a lil makeup..i wanna fuck you btw. But its not gay its just you! Because ur basically a girl!”

Taemin blushed and swept a strand of his long hair away from his face. “Gomawo…. Oppa.. hyung…. What is a fuck? Can you teach me?”

Kibum SCREETCHED and ascended to another plain of reality away from the preps. Hes not dead but like, hes basically in gods hands now

MINHO’S POV

Taemins so hot I wanna have sex with him but from behind so I can pretend he’s a girl. Suddenly i got phone call from my girlfriend yuri who i completely forgot about! She squealed about how hot i was at my lacrossesoccerketball game and then asked something that i didnt care about and then hung up. I went downstairs to cook up my signature “cereal”

I put bananas and honey and spiders and a little bit of granola in it to make it into the perfect meal. I knew Yuri would love it. When did yuri get here? I dont know. I have no sense of what time is, and ive heard its fake anyways so its cool

“Taemin here’s your meal- oh no i mean yuri!!!!!!” yikes!!!!!!!!!

Taemin started crying “minho hyoppadeul what are spiders..why are you doing this to me”

I had to pretend like I didn't know what he was talking about I had to bully him because I have gay feelings that need to be pressed back in my head until i can believe they dont exist anymore because im not gay? Whats a gay? Ive never Heard of that! Shut up

Now I’m back at school, because I don’t know hwy I ever left in the first place, but I have to start bullying Taemin!!! In front of everyone!! No one can know that i am Part of a Gay. mostly the dick part because thats the manliest part

“Fuck you taemin” i said while breaking his arm just by breathing on it. I felt a little bad but then I remembered my social status is really important for my lacrosse scholarship and I’ll only get the $5 in financial aid if I’m the coolest person in school so……………….

I dibidibidribbled a baseball in one hand and pushed Taemin intoa trashcan with the other, smirking the entire time as the rest of the entire student body Laughed at him !! haha!!

Key appeared from behind the trashcan. “HOW DAR E YOU HURT MY PRECIOUS SON”

“Umma what’s death i hear it calling for me” taemins tiny bb eye s blurred with tiny tears..he was hurt and beautiful

Key umma rushes to Taemin’s side and pulls him out, pointing a manicured finger straight at Minho’s face.

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU STUPID fucking PREP” Key screeches!! He puts up his nails like a cat, having recently got them redone to be Sharp. “knock it off you mediocre dunces!!!!” Lee Sooman yelled from across the hall. He used his special principal powers to teleport us to the prinipals office which was his office actually so it was convenient in many different ways!!

Key takes his gucci purse and WHACKS me in the eyeball with it!

“ANI!” I screamed as my contact fell out and glasses magically appeared onto my face. I hid my disgusting face. Nobody could know that I swear vglasses i wanna fuckin diE

“NOW I’M AN UGLY STR8 not gay NERD!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!”

Taemin starts crying, because he thinks his miinho hyoppa thinks he’s ugly because he wears Glasses like a NErd. Taemins half dead corpse whispered from the floor, “omo…..i………...wear glasses too Hyungpa..”

“Taemin my soul mate,,,” i reached out to grab taemins hand in my pinky finger because he’s so small. “I want to tell you i- I am only part of a “gay” for you”

Taein cried “wgat is part of gay...are you a buy of sexual?”

“Yes,” minho whispers, “i’m buying a sexual… my peen…. Lovs u….”

“Minho hyoppa” taemin croaks from his half dead state “what’s a peen?”

“GODDAMMIT TAEMIN” KEY SCREAMS “YOU CAN’T KNOW WHAT A PEEN IS”

“Is it what i have?” taemin reaches down to show key the extra leg he thought he had in his pants. Between his legs wasn’t a penis but….is that senator Bernie Sanders??!?!?!??!?!

Minho gasps. “Here’s how Bernie can still win!!!”

Then Minho dribbled a basketball into the distance with Taemin hanging off of the ball.

“It’s time to dibidibidie, taemin”

“What’s a die?” taemin asked

Key umma could be heard yelling in the distance, but MInho was already dribbling Taemin into the light. As they approached what was (probably) heaven, and not just a hallucination due to taemins pain meds which were actually just bird seeds(key umma would never let him take real drugs!! Those are DANGEROUS!!), krystal, aka G O D, appeared unto them and stated her wisdom,

“Taekai is real..minho who?”

“Whos kai this is 2010”

“I’m from the future and you’re gay” “Whats gay”

“Sorry did i say kai i mean...nickhyun. Taenickhun is real”

Suddenly onew appeared eating chicken, trippping ovr everything.

Taemin looked at him and gasped. “Hyung… i havent seen you in years… since you died in the skeleton war………..“

“I was off raising a heavenly chicken farm!! I’m marying a fried chicken leg!! Pls come to my wedding in Chicken Heaven” onew said

“ENOUGH” said Krystal aka G O D as she clapped her thunderous hands, obliterating Onew from existence. He doesn’t belong in 2minjongkey universe.

Taemin started crying. “Where did hyung go, minho hyoppa?”

“Taemin…” Minho said, trying to shield his tiny bf from the pains of death but ultimately failing to do so. “Sometimes people jst fucking leave ok. Jsut like my dad”

“But minho we just went to heaven and god didnt let me die”

“God doesnt let angels die”

Taemin wings grew just then...it was then that everyone remembered he was a Literal Angel. A literal angel. Actually.

“Is this why you didn’t know anything about sex?” Minho asks.

“The only sex ed in heaven is Abstinence” taemin tells him “so you’re going to hell”

“Well damn can we fix that” minho asked, still fucking dribbbling a basketball. Or something

“But hyoppa i don’t know how to sex you have to teach me ;) bb”

Key materialized from the got damn toilet, previously having brunch with GOD, and clapped his sparkly magenta, not green bcs green is for dicks(except jonghyuns dick bcos key liked that one) manicured hands twice, transporting them to who fucking knwos “LISTEN BITCH” Shin Sekyung roared as she tore out Key’s sparkly pink hair extensions. Key tried to hit Sekyung (jfc poor girl i can see her funeral) with his gucci purse but missed, flinging it into the distance as he screamed.

Key turned, telling his super hot muscular popular bad-boy boyfriend Jjong to tell this Prep Bitch Shin Sekyung that he was dating Key now!!! And she needed to get her Prep Ass away from him!! “Jonghyun. Buy me a new purse” key said to his boyfriend, flicking his hair in a diva-ish manner and bounced his soft hips (i read something like this in a fanfic holy shit)

Event hough Jonghyun is still in high school and never goes to class and has no job, he has rich ass parents, so he can buy Key anything he wants. He pulls out his dad’s credit card and tells Key to pick out any purse he wants!!!

Key picks out the purse that those ugly preps would dislike the most, and makes a mental note to slap all of them with it.

Jonghyun buys the purse for him and gives it to his diva boyfriend. Then taemin appears.

“Umma i ran out of banana milk :( minho said i could drink his but i don’t know what he means… i didn’t see him with any milk” Key Umma started screeching into oblivion, and Jonghyun had to wave aroudn his credit card with promises of a new outfit to get him to calm down and come back to the mortal plain of existence.

That’s when Key Umma ran straight to Minho!!! That PREP had corrupted his baby!!!

“HE WAS INNOCENT U BITCH!!” Key screams in Minho’s face. “YOU TOLD HIM WHAT A PEEN IS!!”

Minho frowned, dribbling his basketball more aggressively hsi totally stoic cold face(trademark) existing.

“But he has a peen”

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS!!1!!”

Taemin, sipping on a new bottle of banana milk that Jonghyun had pulled out of his ass for him, only shifted his eyes between his umma and his new (secret!!) boyfriend. Key Umma couldn’t know that Minho was his (secret!!) boyfriend! No one could know, because then everyone would know that Minho was part of a gay, and Minho didn’t want anyone to know that. He might lose his spot on the basketball team since Jonghyun is the only gay allowed!!!

“I didn’t tell him.” minho said. “Telling him might make people think… i’m a…. gay...w hich i’m not. I have a girlfriend her name is yuri. Shes really hot and i know this because i’m straight”

Taemin’s eyes filled with tears. “Hyoppa….”

Minho pushed Taemin into a trashcan again, the banana milk flying from Taemin’s hands and up into the air, only to open compeltely and spill onto the top of his head. His tears mixed with the banana milk flowing down his chubby baby cheeks. He couldn’t believe his Minho hyoppa would say he was a Straight.

“Key Umma, what is a straight?” Taemin asks through banana tears.

“I’M GOING TO KILL THAT PREP MINHO!!”

Key umma, finally so fed up with that DUMB PREP!! flew (a/n: very literally!!) at Minho, hitting him in the head with his brand new gucci purse!!

Minho’s brain popped straight out of his skull, and it was actually basketball this entire time!!!

Minho’s body was still working without it’s basketball brain, and so he reached over and started dibidibidribbling his basketbrain.

Suddenly Amy walked in she was so cool!! She’s an OC shh.

“Who are you?” key asked. “Another dumb prep?!!!! Are you here to steal my popular hot muscular jonghyun?”

(A/N buy press it on iTunes)

Suddenly, Amy hovered in the air and magicalyl turned into Shin Sekyung!!! THAT PRE P BITCH!!

Key threw his purse straight at that Prep Bitch’s head, killing Shin Sekyamy instantly. She ascended into Prep Heaven and haunted them all for the rest of eternity.

Suddenly, her soul turned into a piece of chicken. Onew appeared and picked up what was left, munching on it happily. “My kokoro goes dugeun dugeun for chicken” he said when he had finished.

Taemin gasped. “Hyung!!!!!!!! You’re back!!!!!” and then he started crying again, clutching minho’s shirt wetting it (with tears xdxdxd)

“I must go” onew said. “I need to finish marrying my chicken wife.” and without another word, he evaporated, leaving behind a trail of chicken grease and nuggets.

Out of sudden and behind the grease and dust the gucci slippers appeared.

Taemin gasped. “Hyoppa…. Look… they’re beautiful….”

Key took the slippers right off of Taemin’s feet and hit him over the head with them.

“DO NOT” Key screamed “DO THIS TO MY INNOCENT PERFECT BABY CHILD.”

“But I am your innocent perfect baby child” taemin stuttered, banana tears welling up in his eyes.

“THEN DO NOT,” KEY SCREAMED “DO THIS”

With that, Key disappeared into the void. To finally burn those shits

Taemin cried harder. “Hyoppa… why did he take them from me…. My kokoro is so sad… please make me happy again”

Minho kept dibidibidribbling his basketbrain.

Taemin didn’t seem to notice that Minho no longer had the top of his skull, which was where his basketbrain fell out of. It was okay, because Taemin loved his Minho hyoppa no matter what!!!

“Minho hyoppa…. Do you think… i’m a gay?”

“You can’t be a gay,” minho tells him. “Because i can’t be in love with a gay. I am a straight.”

Taemin starts crying. Key Umma can be heard screaming sassily from the Void(which now was pink)

“I can be the only gay on the basketball team” bling bling says.(a/n: bling bling is jonghyun xD)

Jonghyun, furious at the thought of not being the only gay on the team, shoves Minho away from him. In the Heat of the Moment, Jonghyun accidentally pushes Minho into Taemin!!! Minho was already dead, his body dribbling his basketbrain post-mortem, but Taemin, who was still alive, gets shoved into a trashcan for the last time. His head cracks open from hitting the edge of the trashcan, and a bottle of bananamilk spills out of his head. That was the end of Taemin, for he ascended into heaven so he could take his rightful place as Perfect Baby Virgin Angel of Heaven (trademark).

Jonghyun looks down at them sadly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “Dibidibidis… his name was minho.”

Key, furious from his place in the void, literally fucking launches himself at Jonghyun, and the two of them blow up at the impact. A Gay Rainbow is left in their place, permanently.

Shin Sekyamy ressurrects from the dead, and she laughs maniacally. This had been her plan all along - to get them to all kill each other!!! Now she could be the Real Queen Bee!! Key Umma Whom???

Dibidibidone.

[rarestereocats]

recap of last night’s session!

The next leg of our journey is hit with a delay when our darling Virhea goes missing.  So instead of having me meander through the woods looking for her,  Elathera and Industria decide to scry on her.  Instead of some peaceful image of her working through her trauma in a healthy way like punch dancing out in the forest,  we get treated to the sight of a man who is very obviously dead.  His back is cut open and his ribcage is cracked.  His lungs are spread out on the rock he's laying on and Virhea's cleaning her hands of his blood.  The dude basically looks like a German torture porn filmmakers take on the phrase "spread out like a buffet".

We all experience a plethora of emotions in this moment.  Disgust being the most prominent and as the rest of the party is discussing why this is happening and what the hell we can do about it,  I step out of the carriage to go puke in the woods.  How convenient that that man's brother is out looking for him and stumbles upon me!  I tell him I'll find his brother and send him home and eventually I sneak up on Virhea who's busy burying the body.  I ask why she did it and the man was in the mob that killed her,  so while I think it's beyond brutal,  I understand and when we get back to the others,  I cover for her.  Cuz that's what friends do.

Except pro tip for real life,  kids.  If your friend goes and blood eagles somebody,  you should probably alert the authorities.

Anyways,  Industria buys my lie of Virhea acting in self-defense because she was attacked because of course she doesn't wanna believe her sister's out there doing shit like that willy nilly.  Everybody else is suspicious,  but doesn't question it for the moment.  As me and Rikius take our seats at the front of the carriage,  he asks for the truth of it and I crack because I can't lie to my boyfriend. ��Things inside the carriage are awkward for Elathera and Lucky because they know something more is up,  but who's gonna be the dick and accuse her of outright murdering someone in cold blood?  No one.  That's who.

Eventually our carriage ride takes us to a pocket of the world where civilization is practically non-existent.  It's plains and plateaus as far as the eye can see,  so we stop and make camp for the night.  Our camping spot has signs of life from the past and that worries me,  so I decide to go look around and Virhea and Lucky join me.  The spot's safe for camping,  thankfully,  and we all watch a cougar chow down on some wild cattle before I'm struck with a stupid idea.  I wanna tame the cougar.  Lucky and Virhea ask if I've ever done it before and of course not.  So what better time to try it than now?  I approach the cougar and after some coaxing and calming it down,  I get to pet it.  I go in for a hug and it darts away,  but I coax it back out for more pets.

I seriously contemplate taking it as a pet,  but decide not to and we head back to camp.  But the cougar has taken a liking to me and follows us back casually.  No one's immediately concerned until Rikius questions it.  Virhea says I have a new companion and I have already named my new son.  Nugget.  Industria goes to pet my dear Nugget,  but startles him so he bites her.  Cue the Great Cougar Debate that had us all torn.  Virhea actively encourages me to keep Nugget and train him,  but Rikius and Industria are against this because it's a wild animal and that's a no-no.  Eventually a consensus is reached after Industria reminds me it could be dangerous to bring around my sisters and Rikius brings up that it's also dangerous to be bringing around our daughter and I have to be a responsible mother.

Virhea shoos Nugget from our summoned cabin thanks to Elathera and we turn in for the night.  Or I would've if my room wasn't empty and devoid of my man.  After a conversation with Elathera about Virhea's issues,  I look for him,  but instead I find Virhea doing ballet outside by the firelight.  I decide to join her and she gives me a free dancing lesson.  She fixes my posture (gay) and we pirouette the night away while Industria practices swordfighting with Ilyana,  Lucky watching on.  Elathera is lonely and summons herself a bunny to sleep with and eventually I turn in for the night too.  Rikius was hiding out and keeping an eye on Virhea because hey,  she murdered somebody recently and witnessed the dance lesson.

The next leg of our journey to a sacred river ends with us reaching the river,  but not the shrine we're looking for.  Elathera conjures up a big ass boat and an unseen crew and we get to pretend we're sailing the open seas for awhile.  Except Virhea who hates every minute of this and hides out in the cabin.  After some fishing and enjoying the breeze,  it's time to sleep on the boat because nothing could ever go wrong.  I perch myself in the crow's nest and there's a sound of very loud,  rushing water and Industria hears it too.  She realizes it's a waterfall,  so she tells Elathera to hook up the boat with some magic gliders so we don't die.  Gliders are made,  Elathera holes up in the captain's quarters.  Industria grabs her child and flies because she ain't risking shit.

She casts a fly spell on Virhea,  who flies up to the crow's nest and tells me to hang onto her in case the shit hits the fan.  And Lucky and Rikius prepare themselves with fly spells too.  The boat goes over the waterfall.  We hold our breaths.  And then down it goes as the gliders couldn't carry the weight of our sins.  Luckily we're all safe!  But hey,  where's Elathera?  She went down with the boat and got trapped underwater,  getting battered by rocks as the river current down there pulls her away.  But luckily Industria saves her,  but not before getting tossed around herself.  They emerge on shore with the rest of us and as we take in the scenery,  an aarakocra man approaches to basically ask us what the fuck's going on.

Industria explains that we're here to return some artifacts to the shrine.  The purple pendant we found in the dragon's lair belongs to these people,  but we forgot who was carrying it.  I make a pretty big slip-up when I say I didn't take that one and instantly,  Industria enters Mom Mode to question me.  Industria tells me she's going to ground me and eventually talks me into handing it over the holy diamond I stole and I'm scolded hard.  Elathera doesn't admit to her part in it,  so I kindly do it for her.  Industria then yells at me for trying to drag Elathera down to my level and I am Crushed.  Because Elathera didn't stand up for me,  we experience our first fight and greed totally nearly tears us apart.

Eventually the party splits,  leaving me,  Elathera,  and Lucky alone.  They suggest we go and steal more stuff and Elathera's all for it,  but I'm still upset,  so I storm off and throw myself into a bush because mom grounded me.  Lucky followed after and finds it weird that I'm handling this by hiding in a bush,  but they join me anyways and comfort me by reminding me that they're my ancestor,  so that means they can unground me.  Virhea had stalked the bird man who had the artifacts and steals the diamond back.  She finds me and gifts it to me and I can't resist the gem's charm for long and stuff it back in my bag of holding.

Then it's time for another dancing lesson and as we waltz around,  just gals being girls and all that,  Industria and Rikius catch up with us.  As we all dance away,  Industria plays some hot jams on her lyre and it's all great until she mentions finding Elathera.  I don't want to see that traitor ever again and when I say this,  Industria is upset because she doesn't want us fighting.  I'm sat down for another Mom Talk in which she tells me she knows it's hard to let old ways go,  but I need to be a better person.  I came out to have a good time and I feel attacked,  so I say that they're trying to make me the bad guy here and now I'm gonna run away.  Industria urges me not to,  but says she'll find me if I do,  so I start walking away.

Rikius is now concerned and tells me not to,  so I stop.  Long enough for Industria to glomp me (yes,  those were Erick's words.  2006 called him and he couldn't resist),  but I dodge it because I'm having a mood right now.  She hits the ground hard and Virhea busts out laughing while Rikius helps her up.  I made the situation worse and when I realize I was being an asshole,  I relent and we hug and make up.  We find Elathera fishing at the river after she repaired our carriage that we totally didn't forget about.  Arnor is spooked as shit after what transpired and when Virhea goes to soothe his nerves,  he kicks her,  sending her flying back and hitting the ground with some broken ribs.  Maybe if she didn't kill that man in the village this wouldn't have happened.  I don't wanna say it's karma,  but it's karma.

With tensions still high between me and Elathera,  the aasimar sisters decide to separate us for a bit.  Industria takes me out to find food for the party,  and Virhea takes Elathera out to gift her with a beautiful staff that's a replica of her grandfather's staff.  You know,  the big,  black rod she had to crack (ooh bby) to get us to Heaven for the first time.  While Elathera is wary of Virhea,  she lights up at this and is pleasantly surprised that she actually got a gift and wasn't being dragged outside to be murdered.  We all have dinner as a family and then everybody parts again,  leaving me and Elathera alone.  She tries to leave,  but I ask why we're letting this diamond tear us apart.  She doesn't know.  We have a nice heart-to-heart and mend our friendship that was absolutely on the rocks,  except not really because we care about each other,  and decide to go out exploring for the night.

If you have been reading these posts since the beginning,  then you know very well by now that having me and Elathera run off together is a terrible idea.  We're the Dream Team...if your dream involves everything turning into a disaster.  Haha,  we're a catastrophe.  So we're walking along the dewy grass outside the village we were taken to earlier until we come to the river.  Across the river and through the mist,  we can make out lights and ominous chanting.  We're thinking there's some creepy shit afoot until we realize it's just the tribals doing their religious ceremony.  Not wanting to disturb them,  we go a different way and I spot an abandoned structure in the distance.  We wonder if there's anything inside,  so we go to check it out.

It looks like a wizard once lived here and Elathera's special eyes see the place is teeming with magical energy.  We think for a second that we hit the jackpot until I try the door and realize it's an illusion.  I tell her and she dispels it and there's...nothing there.  I look around.  Nothing out of the ordinary now,  so Elathera steps to where the house used to be and is attacked by a moonbeast.  These things are really gross,  Lovecraftian bullshit and apparently they're intelligent and slavers.  We did it,  guys.  We discovered a trap and still walked into it anyways.  Dream Team making it happen over here.  Virhea and Rikius are concerned with how long we've been gone,  so they set out to find us.  As we're battling our potential doom,  I hit Industria up on the transcendental bond to tell mom that we're in trouble.  She was asleep and is not happy,  but she alerts everybody else.

Unfortunately,  because we're being attacked,  I didn't give too many details so all Virhea and Rikius had to work with was "Kina" and "tentacles".  Now everyone's fearing that my ass has walked onto a hentai set.  Luckily we manage to fell the beast and I get to ring up mom and let her know everything's all good.  We loot the body and find some stuff of value and me and Elathera are truly buddies once more as we decide to split the gold once we get a chance to sell the shit.  We catch up with Virhea and Rikius and they ask us what happened. I tell them we walked right into a trap and Rikius says that's about right.  They inspect the beast and Virhea shoves her fist down its throat (ooh bby again) to see its diet.  They scold us and say we're not allowed to adventure alone anymore,  but I say we saved the day and Elathera's jazzed about our victory too,  so we high-five.  We totally planned taking out that foul beast,  but they don't buy our bullshit.

So I change it.  We preemptively saved the day from the thing that wasn't an issue for the tribe yet and go to high-five my buddy cop again,  but Elathera isn't feeling it anymore and her high-five game is weak.  Virhea mentions that we were invited to the religious ceremony,  so we ring up the whole crew to go watch.  It's a beautiful display as the tribe has gems that radiate light back to the sky as they reflect the moonlight.  They pray over these gems and it's all one big new years celebration for them as once a year,  our earth is treated to the sight of a second moon.  After,  we're invited back to town for the fair.  There's food and trinket stalls all about and aarakocra performing tricks on land and in the air.

Me and Virhea get a little too wasted,  leaving everybody else to watch over us.  I tell everyone I got something cool to show them and begin climbing a tree.  Rikius is already concerned and tries to grab me,  but I'm a slippery gal and carry on.  My plan is to do a backflip right off the tree and concern and worry plague the party,  except for Virhea who cheers me on.  Elathera conjures up a big ol' cushion to break my fall,  so I do my backflip,  get launched off the cushion,  and land on my ass.  Virhea claps and I tell her I can do a cartwheel off a tree too,  but everyone shoots my plan down.  Whatever.  I can do it on the ground too,  so fuck ya'll.

I cartwheel and somehow fuck it up pretty bad and sprain my wrist.  Despite Industria saying she wouldn't heal me,  she heals me anyways and is exasperated with our drunken bullshit as Virhea does a cartwheel too.  We get up and go to high-five and miss.  We do it again.  Miss.  We're both worried now that we're not real.  Nobody's real.  We panic.  I wrap my arms around Rikius.  He's real.  Virhea runs a hand down Industria's face.  She's real...and uncomfortable.  We double team Elathera (ooh fucking bby),  but she casts something and disappears.  Obviously she's not real so we panic.  It's then Industria suggests we turn in for the night,  but I wanna party.

The party is not done until I say it's done...or until Rikius tells me "no".  Which he does.  But Virhea gets us some drinks anyways and then Elathera teleports us back to the cabin.  I'm startled and drop my drink before we go,  but Virhea's a bro and hands me hers.  Rikius takes it,  so she asks for it back.  He gives it back to her.  She hands it back to me and he stops her yet again.  I'm not gonna let him ruin my fun,  so I go climb the stairs to do another sick ass backflip that could potentially kill me,  but he stops me.  Virhea suggests we take our party outside to the fireside and I go to leave,  but he grabs and hauls my ass off to the bedroom.

Lucky is tasked with watching over my bro and we all wake up,  managing to shake off the drink.  Except for me.