#my friend said I had good pronunciation but he probably had a very low bar

[adhd-languages]

I really wonder if I sound hyper feminine when I’m speaking japanese.

[saphie3243]

First Solstice

For my Secret Snowflake @tomtenadia

Nesta spends her first Solstice sober in Illyria, unable to bring herself to brave the inner circle celebration for a second year in a row.  

Word Count: 5500+

Read on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28297182

There  was something soothing about a room being so crowded it became hard to breathe. Better still when the music was so loud you can’t hear yourself think. Best when bodies are grinding, booze is flowing, and something to smoke is being passed around. Everyone was here for the same reason, everyone wanted a distraction. Amren had made several comments that she couldn’t believe Nesta got males to go home with her when she smelled like sweat and a distillery. She apparently didn’t understand that everyone smelled the same at places like this. 

The band was better than usual. The music was… actually good. Maybe that’s why the bar was extra packed today. Or maybe it was because Solstice was tomorrow and no one wanted to think about all the ways they’ve disappointed their families this year. 

Disappointing. The male she dragged into the bathroom was just that. He wasn’t even worth the time she wasted not getting another bottle of wine. She didn’t even let him finish before booting him out and stumbling back to her favorite stool. The bartender knows her by now and has mulled wine waiting. 

It’s warm and more mulled than wine. She nodded to him. They know how to take care of her here, she certainly spends enough. Leo is decent enough to warn her off of the less than savory types that might be interested in more than even she was willing to give. She sighs back into the glass. Why she felt the need to judge herself when tomorrow she was going to get 5 times over from Feyre and insipid little family was why she needed another glass. 

She turned around in her stool, facing back out, watching the crowd move in a formless mass. This band had changed over. The new one wasn’t nearly as good. Several months haunting bars and clubs to all hours in the morning had provided Nesta a proper sampling of Velaris’ bands, and, in her mind, gave her a liberty to criticize as she saw fit. This crater-faced crooner was pitchy and couldn’t move a room if he winnowed them. That earlier one had a woman out front. She was unusual for a Fae. She was beautiful, yes, but she wasn’t the wispy waif most fae women were. She was tall and built, covered in a layer of extra fat that filled out wonderful curves and jiggled when she danced. But that wasn’t what made her remarkable. Her voice took your heart by the ears and pulled you into the emotion she wanted you to feel.

“Weird compliment, but I’ll take it.” 

__

“Lor-Cass said you weren’t going home this year,” Emerie placed the breeches she was folding into a pile of identical wares. 

“I didn’t go home last year, either,” Nesta swished the black liquid in her cup as she reviewed the ledgers. Last Solstice only served to remind Nesta how much of a stranger she was to her own family, to Feyre’s new one. She would never be able to call that debacle “going home.” This year, however, she could avoid Velaris. Being banned from the city meant Feyre no longer had the ability to force her into attending farcical family meals, no matter how pissy she was about it. 

She closed the books with a sigh and placed them back into a drawer. “Numbers look good.” 

Emerie moved her pile of pants over to their shelf. “Thanks for looking over them, I haven’t had anyone to check my math since dad.” Nesta nodded and pulled out the books and notepads Emerie kept hidden with her accounting ledgers. 

She leafed through to the furthest marked page. “You didn’t get much further last night,” she commented. 

“Ah, no time, had to process a big shipment.” 

“It’s fine,” Nesta muttered. 5 words underlined. Not the most, not the least. She reviewed the best-guess at the words definition in Emerie’s notebook. Most were correct. She added pronunciation guides next to some. “Macabre means bloody, gruesome.” 

“Why is there an R in it?” 

“Because the gods are cruel.” She heard Emerie’s answering laugh. “You’re doing well though. We can probably move on to actually writing.” She didn’t really think it would be that hard for Emerie to learn to read and write. She ran this business - she was clearly whip-smart, just uneducated. It could easily be remedied.  

“In the meantime, can you answer the orders?” 

This little arrangement worked out nicely. Nesta lended her books and made her literate, meanwhile she would help out with store correspondence and would review the books. Reviewing the books was less about checking Emerie’s math - that she had a natural understanding for - and more about making sure each transaction had sufficient notes. 

She took another sip from her night-black liquid. The best part of Illyria, in her mind, was this coffee thing. It didn’t grow locally, needing a warmer climate for the source plant to thrive, but it had become a staple in the tribes as a way to keep troops moving with minimal sleep. Hot and bitter, it really shouldn’t have been as pleasant to drink as it was, but she found herself unable to stop. 

“When does Lo- Cass head down south?” 

“He should be meeting everyone Solstice morning and be back the day after.”

“What are you going to do?” 

Stare at the liquor bottles he filled with water to tease me.  Drink my weight in coffee and stand outside Devlon’s house at 2 am sending waves of power over the door to fuck with him until some asshole walks by and works up the balls to ask me back to their place - or die of exposure. Whatever’s first. 

“Not sure, why?” 

“Would you… I don’t know… want to spend tomorrow with… me?” Emerie had approached the table, tapping her fingers with each phrase. Nesta looked her up and down. If it was anyone else, she would have thought Cassian put her up to it. But she was also alone for the holidays, and Nesta knew that was probably a much bigger deal for the Illyrian than it was for her. She had mentioned once that she didn’t have many people since her father died. Adding in that Emerie didn’t do anything she didn’t want to do... If she was asking, it was because she wanted to spend this day with Nesta. 

She smiled at her friend, “Come over whenever.” 

___

Dinner was hot and ready when she came in. Cassian always made sure that their meals were piping. His own way of combating the awful wet cold of Illyria. She had to wonder if part of it also had to do with keeping the fires low in the house.  

Nesta kicked off her boots by the door and carried them to the fireplace. She set them down next to Cassian’s - the secret to warm feet, he’d said. Their coat rack was also by the fireplace for similar reasons. She gently felt the socks left hanging there- warm, thank the Wall. She pulled off her damp knits and left them in a pile on the floor while pulled on the fresh clothes. They went up to hang immediately after.

“Do you need to take every peg? Emerie’s store is only 5 minutes away,” Cassian called from across the house. He was standing in the kitchen with two bowls of stew. 

“Five minutes flying, 25 walking,” she turned to him. “Through a foot and a half of snow.” 

She pointed to the bottom of her dress and the crust of ice that had formed there. He grimaced. 

“I would have picked you up if you asked.” 

“Unnecessary.” She pulled the dress over her head and left it to hang on the coat rack. After months of living together, they had long overcome the initial discomfort with mild nudity. Not that she was anywhere near naked. She still had the chemise that ended at her knees, her wool sleeves, her knitted belly warmer, and a double layer of wool hose. She was more covered than either Amren or Morrigan on any given day. Finally in only dry clothes, she marched over the kitchen and took the bowl from Cassian. 

Four months of living with Cassian in Illyria was… surprisingly easy. The mountains were peaceful, simple. The way of life here is more similar to the human society she grew up with than the magical speed of Velaris. Emerie was a pleasant discovery. She still wanted a drink, desperately, but the biting cold had a similar numbing effect if you stood out in it long enough. The worst part was being dragged out of bed at dawn for “training”. Though her training was less about learning to fight herself and more about standing around the training rink terrifying males while Cass tried to teach little girls to throw a punch. 

Coincidently she hadn’t gotten laid in 4 months either. 

“As much as I love seeing you in your underwear, you do have very nice, very warm leathers.” 

“Bite me,” she said as she shoveled food in her mouth. She had made it this long avoiding putting those damn things on. She wasn’t going to cave now. No matter how much imagining the fur lining made her whimper. 

He smiled down at her, making a point of flashing his teeth. “Gladly.”  Whatever mischief was running through his thoughts cleaned itself up as he changed subjects. He was the other surprise. The animosity between them was turned down to a polite simmer. Oh they still bickered, and they flirted. They never said it, and God willing never would, but any edges of disgust in their banter had long been smoothed by fondness. “Az will be picking me up at 7 tomorrow. If you change your mind about coming with me, be ready to go then.” 

“I won’t,” she answered, choosing not to tell him that she would be spending the day with Emerie. 

Surprisingly, he didn’t push. 

“Oh good, you’re up. I’m making breakfast, if you want.” 

__

Nesta woke up in a bed that was far too clean to be her own. Her head ached, her throat was dry, and she was naked. She sat up and took in her surroundings. This room was not hers. She had less furniture and more piles of shit everywhere. She was trying to figure out how she got there when the door opened and a woman came wandering in. 

Nesta recognized her as soon as she spoke and finally recalled the night prior. She was the singer for that band. They chatted each other up at the bar for hours, getting progressively drunker. By the time the bar closed they stumbled home - going to hers because it was closer. They jumped each other as soon as the door closed. It was a new experience for Nesta, being with a woman. And it was good. The singer sounded as lovely when she came as she did when she belted. 

Staying for breakfast would be nice. Something real in her stomach to soak up the alcohol was very needed. And if she played it right, there was a chance for as lovely a morning as there was a night. 

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.” 

Nesta waited until her partner had left the room before she pulled on her dress and snuck out the window. 

Lovely wasn’t what she deserved. 

___

No training didn’t mean that Nesta didn’t wake up at first light. It just meant she didn’t need to get dressed. Part of the initial torture of first arrival was learning that Cass put her in an east facing room with larg windows on the walls - and refused to let her have curtains. Privacy apparently wasn’t as important as making sure she didn’t have oversleeping as an excuse.

She swore at the sun, as she did every morning, and felt around in the bed next to her. Before getting out from under the covers, she pulled on her fluffy robe. This little trick she learned back in the hut. Sleep with the clothes you’re going to wear if you want them to be warm in the morning. 

She trudged out to the main room and kitchen, beginning the process of preparing breakfast. Another rule of the house, if you are up first, you cook first. Same for dinner and coming home. Lunch they were on their own. There was a housemaid when she first arrived, but… she didn’t last long. She found the tea kettle and set about making hot water while she poured oats into bowls. From their icebox - a box they just left sealed outside to let winter keep cold - she pulled out a package of cured bacon. The kettle whistled, and she used the entire batch to steep the coffee. The next round of water was for the oatmeal.

The shadows between the windows grew and darkened. Before he even stepped out, Nesta greeted him. 

“I’m making coffee. Get a cup if you want some.” 

“Thank you. I’ll take bacon, too, if you don’t mind.” 

“It’s Cass’s money,” she answered, adding three more pieces to the griddle. 

Azriel was the only one from Velaris that visited with any sort of regularity, mostly due to how closely he needed to work with Cassian. He would come up about once a week for updates or meetings or to winnow Cass somewhere. He had begun to make a habit out of arriving early to chat with Nesta. Sometimes he just came up to hang out with them. He probably only came up to spend time with Cassian, but since she was usually around, they included her.

No one else from the Inner Circle bothered to visit. Rhysand and Feyre came up once, but that… did not end well. Elain felt too guilty to come see the sister whose banishment she had consented to. Morrigan wasn’t even on the island, so it wasn’t a surprise she didn’t stop by. And Amren�� Amren was keeping her vow to not speak to Nesta until she apologised to Morrigan. Something Nesta still didn’t think she needed to do. 

Morrigan spent 4 nights a week at a gay bar. How the fuck was Nesta supposed to know she wasn’t out? 

“Elain asked me to bring this,” he conjured a set of books and hand-knitted socks into existence, placing both onto the table while pouring himself a cup. The books were tied together with ribbons and decorated with small bows, clearly meant to be her Solstice present. The socks - well, Elain had taken up knitting sometime in the last year and had Azriel deliver a pair every time he visited. 

“Why didn’t she just ask Cassian to bring it back with him?” Nesta scooped some brown sugar into her oatmeal. 

The ever so slight blush on his cheeks told her what his answer did not. “She wanted to make sure you had a present for the holiday.” 

“Because she knows how much I care about holidays,” and it had nothing at all to do with you leaving from her room this morning and it seeming convenient at the time. They wanted to be discrete, and Nesta accepted that - no matter how bad they were at hiding it. She poured in the hot water into her breakfast and stirred. “Any messages with that present?” 

“The bacon looks done.” 

“Azriel.” 

He sighed. “No.” 

Nesta tightened her jaw and moved the bacon from the stove to a plate, allowing him to have a piece. She wasn’t sure if she was more pissed that he didn’t have a message or that she was still hoping he would. Either way she was going to play it off. “I’m surprised they didn’t have you hock me about going, too.” 

Az cocked his head. “Cass made it pretty clear you weren’t ready for that.” She snapped up at him. 

“And what was his barometer for knowing if I was ready?” She sneered. 

But Az only shrugged, well accustomed to playing referee for Cassian and Nesta by now. “You not wanting to go.” 

__

Nesta was still thinking about Azriel’s answer by the time Emerie came over. She couldn’t decide if Cassian was being a presumptive ass or if he was being genuinely considerate. He had a habit of being both interchangeably. Like when he finally made his way to the kitchen, fully dressed and demanding breakfast. He added in some last minute jabs about coming back early if she got lonely as Az winnowed away with him. And even through the mocking tone, the message was clear. “If you don’t want to be alone, just say the word and I’ll come back.” 

He still didn’t know she was spending today with Emerie then. 

“Do you not own any decorations or do you just not like them?” she asked, looking around the room. 

“What decorations?” Nesta strained in her thoughts, there was a lot of extra shit in Feyre’s living room last year… 

“Solstice decorations.You know, candles, holly, garlands,” Emerie explained. It sounded like what Feyre had up - and what most of Velaris had up -  but in all honesty she was not sober enough last year to make the connection that it was for the holiday and wasn’t just some seasonal nonsense. Emerie squinted at her and placed a wrapped box on the table. Presents! 

Fuck. That’s right. Fae exchange presents on the Solstice. 

“I honestly don’t know.” 

Emerie squinted at her. “What do you mean you don’t know?” 

Nesta shrugged. “Humans don’t have holidays.” At most they had festivals, but they were distinctly not holidays, just an excuse to drink and dance with as many strangers as possible. The closest thing they had to a formal holiday was Treaty Day, and even that was not the intimate affair this seemed to be. She hadn’t even heard of a Solstice dinner until Feyre asked her to go last year. 

“How do you not have holidays?” she asked. 

“Holidays used to be very dangerous days to be human.” There were plenty of horror-stories around the suffering of human slaves on religious days. Whether they were being traded as gifts or killed as sacrifices...  even if the stories were exaggerations, it led to whole-sale rejection of everything religious by human society. 

“So you know nothing about solstice?” Emerie placed a hand on her hip. 

“It is the longest night of the year.” 

Emerie made it her mission to instruct Nesta on the finer points of an Illyrian solstice. First and foremost, every 5 years it was the last day of the Blood Rite. The theme of doing battle still continued in the other years, most tribes had hunts or tournaments for the men to mark the occasion. Women were expected to work the day to prepare for the night. The night of the Solstice was the only true peace Illyria ever saw. Solstice nights were for feasting, music, and dancing. Fighting after dark was strictly forbidden. Gifts were expected between families, friends, and especially rivals. It symbolized an acceptance that though Illyrians may compete with one another, they were still members of one army. 

“Does this tribe have a tournament?” Nesta asked. Cassian hadn’t mentioned anything about it, or a feast afterwards, but he might not have thought her interested. Or ready, she thought ruefully.

“Devlon hosts a melee tournament. Puts all the entrants in the ring together and waits to see who comes out. The large feast at the end is prepared by entrant’s families,” Nesta knew she meant women in those families, “For the entrants and their families. Dad didn’t enter, so we would just watch the tournament and then spend the night at home.” 

“Do you want to watch the tournament this year?” 

“Yeah but you’re still in your pajamas,” Emerie laughed. 

She watched by the door as Nesta dressed in her warmest clothes. Watching men fight on her day off wasn’t exactly Nesta’s idea of a good time. But Emerie wanted to go. And Cassian had tried to make the decision of whether or not she should go by not telling her about it, so that in and of itself made her want to go. Because neither were entering, and certainly neither were cooking, they wouldn’t be able to attend the feast after. But that’s just as well. A night back at the house with hot drinks and Cassian’s pantry seemed just fine to both of them. 

The tournament took place in the training rings. Normally the 5 or so rings were roped off from one another, allowing different ages and skill levels to train separately. But today Devlon had taken down the separators, providing an obnoxiously large space for his melee. But it was needed. It seemed every one of Devlon’s soldiers signed up for the tournament. About 200 competitors, ranging from small boys to grown men. There were even some father-son pairs helping each other warm up in the ring. 

Outside the rings, there was yet another crowd of voyeurs. Women and girls taking breaks from their preparations to watch, the merchant families - like Emerie’s, and the men too old and frail to compete anymore. Standing at the head of it all was Devlon, a poor-man’s Cassian. He caught wind of them walking up and immediately flared at the sight of Nesta before turning back to the tournament. Being a witch in Illyria had certain perks. Devlon’s apprehension being only part of it. The crowd parting for them, allowing them to stand at his side and have the best view, was another. 

“Soldiers!” Devlon called as he stepped forward. All 200 men turned to him at attention, well trained by now. “You know the rules. No siphons, no weapons, no flying, no killing. You fall, you’re out. You yield, you’re out. You get knocked out of the ring, you’re out. The last men standing at sunset wins.” He raised his arm in the air, making it visible to all. He took one last look around the ring, took a breath, and dropped his arm and stepped back as he bellowed, “Lay on!”

The chaos was immediate. One of the younger kids, there without a father to hold them up, fell immediately. The rest were at each other's throats, kicking, punching, wrestling. Part of her was worried that the battle-royale would be too similar to the war. But without the clang of steel and the geysers of blood, she found this was more similar to the crowded dance halls in Velaris. Devlon, now standing next to the girls, kept his eyes on the mock-battle as he spoke. “I thought you’d be with Cassian today.” 

“And miss a battle royale? Honestly Devlon, do you know me at all?” She smiled at him, relishing how he flinched at her grin. “Can’t help but notice none of the girls are competing.” 

His jaw tightened. “The Solstice melee is not training. It’s tradition.” 

“Now you said the same thing about the girls training, too, did you not?” Nesta had no interest in ever learning how to fight herself, and didn’t really care if girls trained or not. But there was a difference between choosing not to do something and not being allowed to do something. 

“If Lord Cassian wants to insert his views here as well, he should be here to do it himself.” The harsh words were undercut by the bead of sweat racing down his cheek. He wasn’t wrong. That was part of the reason Cass was stationed up here full time. Changing the rules around women required full time intervention. In Nesta’s mind, it also required more input from the women, but that was a discussion for another time. 

“Maybe next year,” Nesta yawned. She watched the battle progress. After the initial early eliminations, they had plateaued into a minor stalemate. Some alliances also became clear. Groups of friends or families fighting together, watching each other’s back, catching each other before they fell. She didn’t cheer as the crowd or Emerie did. Rather, her and Devlon seemed to be the only calm people there. 

Then… something odd happened. One of the teenage boys fell suddenly. He didn’t seem to get hit particularly hard, for one. And secondly, he didn’t get back up. Both Devlon and Nesta leaned forward, looking closer. She saw it first, sniffed it out. Blood. The boy had been hit in the side and was bleeding from the wound. 

“Devlon,” she said very carefully. 

“I know, I didn’t see who did it.” 

“We need to get him out.” 

“His friends will get him out.” 

She held her breath, watching. No one came. She hadn’t been watching him particularly, but she didn’t remember him teaming up like the others. The way they walked around him… “He doesn’t have friends,” she snarled. Even Emerie gulped as Nesta’s anger stirred the well of her power. Cass told her stories. Back when the shakes and cold sweats were unbearable, he stayed up with her and told stories, trying to distract her through it. Trading one dark truth for another. She told him about watching her mother die, he told her that he was alone for years until Rhys. A bastard that was left to fend for himself, potentially to die if he wasn’t strong enough. From the way they walked over this kid, he was the same. She needed to get him out of there. He was bleeding out and no one was doing a damn thing about it. 

“We cannot interfere with the melee,” Devlon said, “it’s against the rules.” 

“So is weapons, but someone clearly has a knife,” she spat. Devlon didn’t say anything to that. He just kept scanning the make-shift battlefield, searching. “There!” he shouted, and his green siphon flashed. Another teenager was plucked into the air by his wings. He kicked and thrashed, a small knife in his fist. Devlon pulled the kid to him, releasing his magic’s grip and decking as asshole as he got in range. The boy went down with just that one hit. 

But the first boy was still out there. He was still bleeding out. Alone in a crowd. He was going to die. He was going to die in this little mock battle where killing was strictly forbidden. Was this why Cassian didn’t tell her about it? Did he have holidays like this? Did older boys gang up on him and try to kill him without anyone noticing? Was he left alone to bleed on his own? 

“Nesta!” 

Emerie’s voice was farther away than it should have been, and muffled by a crowd of idiots fighting with one another. She wasn’t entirely sure how she got here, but Nesta was standing over the fallen boy. As they registered her presence, one by one the soldiers stopped. “The witch.” “It’s the witch.” “Why is the witch here?”  She ignored them all, kneeling down to the injured. He was pale and grimacing, having lost a lot of blood - still losing it, actually. The knife had gotten him just below the ribs, catching who knows which organs. Without another word she picked him up, allowing his head to rest against his shoulder and his body to rest on her torso. 

She turned back to Emerie and Devlon, one watching with concern, the other pissed as hell. She stepped towards them, slowly, carefully. She didn’t want to jostle the kid’s injuries more than necessary. No one came near her as she walked out of the ring. At first she thought it was the same as the audience, that they were simply afraid of the witch. But a glance around gave her a different answer.

Her power extended around her in a sphere, creating barriers of ethereal flowing silver. The grass around her withered and died, and no man here wanted to see what would happen if they touched the walls of silver flames. When she got to the edge of the ring, the rope touched her power and rotted to nothing. She didn’t know how this boy still lived in her arms, but he was still breathing- barely. She spoke to both Devlon and Emerie. 

“He needs a healer.” 

“I’ll find Marta and have her meet you at the house.” 

Nesta nodded to her friend and turned to walk the familiar path to Cassian’s house, her power dying down as she crossed the threshold.

__

Marta arrived at the same time she did. They set the kid down on the kitchen table as the old woman got to work. The boy did get stabbed, but only in the liver. It took longer than Nesta would have thought, certainly longer than the battlefield-healing she remembered from the war, but Marta was able to stabilize him and stitch him up. She left them with instructions to make sure the boy didn’t get infected or pop a stitch in the night. 

“Not how you planned to spend the Solstice, I’m guessing?” Nesta asked. 

Emerie tilted her head, “No but seeing every warrior in the village piss himself is worth it.” She slumped down on the couch. “We have a moment, want to open your present?” she gestured to the box on the table. 

“Y-yeah, just let me grab yours.” Nesta ran back to her room. She grabbed the stack of books Elain bought her, still wrapped from this morning. Definitely a faux paus, but she would never know. 

Nesta came back out with the present and set it in front of Emerie. “Happy Solstice.” The look of awe and excitement was worth it. As Emerie began to untie the books, Nesta began to unwrap her present. Under the paper was a long, thin box. She unlidded it to find a set of leather and wood hair pins - Illyrian style hair pins, made to not get cold in winter. 

“Thank you,” she said, still admiring the etching on the leather thong. 

“I’d thank you but, I think mine goes to Elain.” 

“What?” Nesta whipped her head up to see the first book open on the table and Emerie holding a hand written note. She was clearly reading it but let Nesta snatch it from her anyway. 

“So should I let you borrow the books or-”

“Shush.” Emerie laughed and paged through the first novel as Nesta read the note. 

Dear Nesta, 

I know you are still upset with me, and with Feyre, for sending you away. And you are right to be upset. You were there for me, after the Cauldron and after Grayson. You held our family together after Feyre left. And when you needed us, needed me, I didn’t know how to help. 

I don’t know if it is the power or just my own knowledge of you, but I knew there was nothing I could do. I knew that if I tried to help, I would only fail. And that is not an excuse. Fear of failure does not make not trying ok, but it is what I did. And I am sorry. 

I know putting this in a letter hidden in a book is still the coward’s way, but I don’t think I could face you if I didn’t apologize first. I hope to have Azriel take me for a visit after the Solstice if you would have me. 

Your sister, 

Elain

___

They stayed up most of the night, playing cards, reading, and watching over the boy. Nesta had planned to stay up the full night, but using her power that day and waking up at 6 am had taken its toll. She found herself drowsing into her cards. Around 3am, Emerie sent Nesta to bed, agreeing to stay up and keep watch. Nesta’s head barely hit the pillow before she was out. 

She woke in darkness. Not odd for her. Waking up in the middle night was fairly common. But when she looked to her window, she saw that it was not night. There was sunlight shining behind the makeshift curtain someone had thrown over her window. She pushed herself up. Who? 

“You’re up.” 

She turned her attention to the chair on the other side of her bed. Cassian sat there, watching over her with an indecipherable expression. She sat up.

“When did you get home?” 

He ran his fingers through his hair. It was down and knotted, unusual for him. There were bags under his eyes. “Last night, before dawn. Az brought me back,” he brought his hands together and looked at her. “Emerie told me what happened. You lost control again.” 

“How’s the boy?” 

“Petros is fine. I moved him to my room to sleep off the rest of the potion the healer gave him.” 

“That’s good.” 

“No, you couldn’t,” his hands gently reached out and lifted her face to look at him. “Why couldn’t you?” 

Cassian moved to the bed, sitting next to Nesta. “You lost control for him.”

“I-I couldn’t just let him bleed out,” she explained, staring at a spot on the bedspread.

Because he reminded me of you. She didn’t know if she said the words out loud or not. But Cassian’s answering kiss was so soft, so gentle, so sweet, she didn’t care. She responded to his kiss in kind, her hand cupping his face, finally feeling those perfectly chiselled cheekbones. His tongue passed over her lower lip and she opened for him, inviting him deeper. She met his tongue with her own and wrapped her hands around the back of his head, pulling him closer. He grinned through the kiss, gently placed his hand on her shoulders, and pushed her back down on the bed. 

It was the first time Nesta stayed for breakfast after.

___________

Tagging potential readers:

@perseusannabeth

[kherohi]

Newcomer’s impression of Nijisanji (October 2020)

When I first started watching Nijisanji clips at the start of October 2020, it only took me a few days to realize that there was no coming back - barring a life-changing event, there was no way I would stop watching them in the next few years.

I decided to go through the Nijisanji official website with my one-week’s worth of clip-watching and record my thoughts on each liver so that I would have something to look back on. My knowledge back then was completely based off the clips I watched, so it’s interesting to see how absolutely skewed some of my impressions were.

I also added some of my current thoughts now that I’m one year in. Maybe next year I’ll look back and wonder how the heck I ever thought some of these things.

Disclaimer: I’m not thinking too hard when I write this stuff. It’s opinion, not fact.

Below are the livers that I could recognize and name on the official website. I’ve kept the name as I remember them, so some of them might be nicknames depending on how I knew them.

(The entries were written progressively from one week to one month of starting to watch Nijisanji.)

Tsukino Mito: She’s the Iinchou! She seems to have been around for a long time. She’s very popular. Since she’s been around for a while, she has inspired other people to join Nijisanji. One of these is Kenmochi Touya, who she self-proclaimed as her son. I don’t know much about her content, but she has a nice voice and it seems that she can sing as well.

I didn’t yet know just how influential she was, but I knew enough to include it in the description. Although I don’t really watch her, I do occasionally check out clips and it’s interesting to see what she comes up with.

Himawari: She’s cute and stupid! In the Dokuzuhonsha family she’s the older sister. She’s very positive. Though I’ve seen her often in collabs, I haven’t seen many clips of her own content. I can’t add much except for her airheaded-ness. She has great sibling interactions with Kuzuha.

This description was clearly based on watching Dokuzuhonsha clips, haha. But I still agree about her positivity! Now I think of her as hard-working and very kind!

Sasaki Saku: She is well-known for her panda outfit, but she has different outfits now. She can be quite ruthless... though that’s a common trait among Nijisanji livers. Although I can’t think of anything in particular to say about her, I do like her and if there’s an interesting looking video with her, I’d like to click it.

Why did I have an image that Nijisanji is ruthless? For that matter, I wonder what clip gave me the impression that Sasaki is ruthless. Well, she can be blunt and a bit of a brat.

Kuzuha: This famous guy. He’s a vampire - he’s lived for a long time. He’s socially awkward and makes sudden non-sequitors in his solo streams. He forms a unit called ChroNoiR with Kanae. He sings by himself and with ChroNoiR. In the Dokuzuhonsha family he’s the younger brother. After collabing with Ritsuki and the awkward conversations that ensued, the weather deck was created. His video thumbnails mostly look the same (red). His streams primarily have to do with gaming. He’s fun to watch and he’s good at games.

I pretty much agree with this one. I watched a lot of Kuzuha clips in my first week, so the impression was pretty accurate. Congrats on 1M subscribers! He’s going far!

Kanae: He’s a person that bullies people in a comedic way. Lots of people like him, but they are understandably wary of him because he has a tendency to use his friends as bait. He has a psychopath side that he plays up to scare others. He’s very calm most of the time, but can get heated in FPS. His character is someone with amnesia. He’s never uncomfortable - he can take things as they come. He’s friends with Kuzuha. He’s also very good at games. He can lie with a straight face. I really like his videos. I’d like to watch more. His cat plush is Roto.

There were definitely a lot of clips of Kanae playing pranks on people. It ended up being half of this description lol. I can’t say it’s wrong, but there’s certainly more to Kanae than pranks. Now he gives me a feeling of motivation for self-improvement.

Lize: I’ve seen her in a few collabs. I like her design. I haven’t seen her enough to form a proper opinion and haven’t started diving into her content at all. She’s cute though and I would be interested in seeing what she does.

I still haven’t watched her too much even after all this time, but now I have the impression that she has interesting talks. Also, she likes Mito.

Ange: I’ve seen her a few times. Not a huge impression, but she seems fun and plays off well with others possibly? I would be interested in watching more of her.

“plays off well with others” - she’s a bit awkward, but that makes it more fun to watch. Her interaction with male members is funny to watch.

Shiishii: She’s cute! a cute voice too! I don’t think I’d watch her solo, but I think she would be good in collabs. I don’t know much about her.

Kinda rude to say I wouldn’t watch her solo? Though true enough, I have just been watching her in collabs. Too many livers in Nijisanji. >_<

Utako: I saw Mayu look through her profile, so I know about her love of BL, shota, and all degeneracy like that. Any video with her about those topics are bound to be fun. That’s what I like about Nijisanji! Shotacon allies with Akina.

I’ve only come to learn more about her degeneracy, and it’s consistent with my expectations. I only hear about them on the side though - haven’t gotten to the point of actually watching the streams.

Ryushen: Gender: unknown. Ryushen is cool, though I haven’t seen too much of them. I haven’t thought of watching any solo content for Ryushen. Probably would only watch if it was a collab with someone else I know.

I recognized Ryushen enough to think they were cool, but I didn’t mention singing at all!? How did I manage that?? Now Ryushen = good at singing and interesting content to me.

Ars: She is very very shy. She’s also cute though. She has a very cute voice. She seems to have a master-disciple relationship with Ex Albio based on Minecraft. Their interactions are very entertaining. Would like to see more of it.

There’s been some amount of Ebimaru content, past me would be happy - present me is happy. I watch her Minecraft streams occasionally. She’s really good at building stuff.

Yashiro: IT employee! A totally normal human. His streams seem pretty mellow... well, the only one I say was a fetish-adding dice game... But it was very fun! In the Dokuzuhonsha family, he’s the dad. He’s pretty conscientious and responsible. He also got drunk and fell asleep on stream. I like watching him, especially when he has fun with the other adults (Kagami, Chaika, Yumeoi)

I agree with this description. That fetish-adding dice game stream sure was fun. I’d nearly forgotten about it. I feel the need to mention rhythm games though.

Chihiro: She is very good at APEX. She was in a tournament with Kanae and Kuzuha as teammates and they got pretty far. She can be serious which shows how much she cares. She has a cute voice. I would click a video with if it looked interesting.

Chihiro = APEX. It only takes a week to figure that out huh.

Hoshikawa Sara: I know her from Minecraft collabs with Kanae. They’re like siblings. She’s always laughing. Her voice can be kind of annoying, but that’s the sort of annoying little sister vibe she gives me. She likes teasing people by calling them papa (Kanae and Yumeoi). When I watch her I know the tension will be high.

I still agree with this. The papa teasing is reserved for Yumeoi though. She has a lot of covers out though!

Kagami Hayato: CEO of Kagami Industrials/whatever company. Fans love giving him money. He gets easily flustered. He always speaks politely. He gets teased a lot and I like watching him as he gets teased and tries to stop it. He’s very pure. That all said, he does have a violent side (as expected of Nijisanji). In Ark, he wanted to start a war and really went all in for that. When he played Forest with Yumeoi, he got used to killing stuff. He also likes metal and has a great scream. I like how he is with the people he debuted with. He’s like a papa. He also sings and has model building streams. He’s not good at playing FPS. He feels a bit of rivalry with Chaika, but admires him. Also, Minecraft underground.

This description was just a dump of all the clips I watched about him wasn’t it? Haha, the first half is a good description still. I still like his voice and gap.

Debi Debi Debiru: A god? A devil? In any case, Debidebi Debiru is basically a religion? a cult? They are pretty small. They have a very unique voice. Beyond that, I don’t really know too much about them. They seem to have been around for a long time. A senpai to others.

What was I thinking when I wrote this? Well, now Debi is just a koala to me. A really impressive 3D though.

Belmond Banderas: This guy is a man among men. Awesome deep voice. He’s got a very cool vibe - I think lots of people must think he’s cool. I don’t know too much else. I’ve seen a few videos with him in them. His voice is so deep! He once had a collab with Sasaki Saku in Minecraft?

He’s not only cool, but nice too! But the strongest impression is still his voice.

Gundou Mirei: I know her mostly due to her ship with Kanda - GunKan. She’s a teacher in the virtual world and real world. She was once found out by her students since she uses the same voice. She likes money. She’s a tsundere type. GunKan is a popular ship. Hoshikawa ships them and at least once pretended to be their child.

lol I don’t remember why I wrote that she likes money.

Mayuzumi Kai: His character is a hacker. His greeting is Domo. When he first joined Nijisanji he did streams where he read through the Nijisanji members’ profiles to get to know them. He was tied with Debidebi as best communication skills by Nijisanji staff. He’s got a really calm demeanor. Low energy. His English pronunciation is very good. He’s the type to play tricks on his colleagues, it seems (summer festival with the puff fish). He is a group called BLUE with Ars and someone else... Lize? I like what I’ve seen of him so far. He wants to be more popular with female viewers.

It started off well. Then Blues... It’s Uiha! Uiha is the third member! I clearly just picked a character with a somewhat blue colour. I also didn’t seem to be aware of the whole 2434 system thing yet. Now I see him as someone interesting and responsible. I sometimes listen to his zatsudan before sleeping since he has such a calm voice.

Hanabatake Chaika: He wears a maid outfit. He’s very eccentric. He references Jojo a lot. He’s on good terms with Kagami. He seems to be pretty successful. He even has his own card. His streams seem fun, especially his 3D streams. There seems to be a fluffy pink thing that he interacts with in 3D streams.

The mention of his 3D streams is good! Agreed!

Dola: A fire drake. In the Dokuzuhonsha family, she’s the mother. She’s good at singing and dancing. She’s weak to horror, but not as much as Kuzuha. Her famous quote is “o cha wo nomimasu”. She has a nice dynamic with Yashiro.

Another description that was written mostly based on Dokuzuhonsha clips, I believe. And the o cha wo nomimasu clip.

Joker: I only know him from the twister game. He seems to talk about dicks a lot?

I fell for the Joker reading. It’s Joe Rikiichi! Also, this is what happens when you try to describe someone with only one clip. Now he’s someone too cultured for me to understand. And he has a really good singing voice.

Ex Albio: The hero! He’s apparently quite lucky. He gives off the vibe of a main character who starts out clueless but gradually gets stronger. His Minecraft arc with his master Ars is very entertaining. His content seems to be very fun. I would like to watch more videos about him... In particular, I’m curious about his Minecraft house.

This is very based on Minecraft videos. But somehow I also knew about his luck. Recently, I have been enjoying his kusoge streams, so I definitely agree that his content is very fun. He somehow makes stupid games look so fun (I absolutely won’t play them myself though).

Kenmochi Toya: The lolicon master! Though it appears he’s also okay with shotas. He’s often shipped with Gaku as Togabito. He loves lolis. He does some skits with himself (Touko, Marshmallows). He’s an entertaining guy to watch. He made a bet with an artist vtuber and got her to make a loli stream. He’s good at tetris.

So much loli in this description lol. The shota mention is from Aki. That last comment about tetris is absolutely just from the clip with Shigure Ui. I’ve been watching more Kenmochi lately - he is very entertaining to watch. He keeps my attention easily when I watch him.

Alice: She seems to have been around for a while. All I know about her is that she’s learning how to play the acoustic guitar, so Kuzuha declared her as a guitar rival.

Now I know her as the liver that’s more popular on Bilibili than Youtube.

Saegusa Akina: His dream is to go to Budokan. He’s a huge Kanae fan and hangs out with him off stream often. He’s a shotacon. He sings well. He’s paired with Aizono to make Benizuwaigani. Their first meeting was very teetee and they ate cake and exchanged gifts on Christmas eve. Very teetee. He apparently calls Shellin master in Minecraft. I’m curious about that.

I pretty much agree with this, but there should be more emphasis on how good he is at singing!

Yumeoi Kakeru: He’s ranked 1st among Nijisanji staff for best communication. He’s very well-spoken. In Forest streams with Kagami, he shows off his psychopath side by happily killing all manner of living beings. He enjoys teasing too. He also sings. I don’t know much else, but I enjoy watching him.

Again, why is the singing an afterthought? His identity is singer songwriter after all. I also need to mention his machine gun speech though.

Kazaki Morinaka: She’s a loli but can also transform into an adult form. That’s the extent of my knowledge.

This is true. I mostly know her personality from Morigusa collabs and I also like her singing now too!

Ibrahim: The oil prince. He’s a merchant type. He likes money. His place is Minecraft has elaborate architecture. He sometimes plays with Kanae and Kuzuha which is where I first saw him. He joined the Alpha Slayers in ARK after some water disputes. He’s a pretty interesting guy overall. He’s got text-to-speech for his superchats.

I really like Ibrahim now! He’s seriously a really nice person. He’s also somehow able to be really cute! I like how his streams are straightforward and interesting. I like how he interacts with his viewers too. He gives a close sort of feeling.

Melissa: I saw a video with her playing FPS with Kanae maybe? But I don’t remember much about her.

Whoa! How is there not a single mention of singing?? Also that was probably the clip with Kuzuha I was thinking of. But no singing???? Now, it’s pretty much all that I know her for. Her singing voice is actually amazing!

Fuwa: His character is a host. He can sing well. I’ve listened to his Call Boy? a bunch. I actually haven’t watched many of his videos, but would like to look into him more eventually.

I’ve gotten hooked on Fuwa! So I’ve definitely looked into him more! I still really like Call Boy. I absolutely loved his 3D though! I watched it so many times! And I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve listened to the 3D live song clips that he uploaded separately. His personality is so good! His expressiveness and energy! I also really like how hard he tries and how he always tries to do his best to make his viewers happy. He streams so much that I can’t keep up with him too well though. x_X

Ririmu: She has a very unique voice. Her character is a demon or devil maybe. Something supernatural. She has a pairing with Uzuki Kou. I don’t watch her though, so I don’t know much else. She has a unique voice.

She’s a succubus! I’ve watched a couple of streams with her. Not enough to get a good grasp of her character, but Pacific Ririmu was hilarious! I got to see a lot of different interactions there, but considering the rules of the stream, it isn’t exactly reflective of her true interactions with others.

Ritsuki: She’s a very elaborate builder in Minecraft though she started as a beginner. Her character is an alien, so she experimented on stuff. She likes to create things that will be used by everyone like the summer festival location. She’s a good girl. A bit shy. It was during her collab with Kuzuha that he first used the weather deck. I’d like to see more of her Minecraft creations.

I haven’t seen much of her Minecraft still!! Her museum is really impressive though.

Shellin: His character is a detective. He looks cool. He seems good with people. For some reason he was a protected person in ARK and he got kidnapped by the Alpha Slayers. Shellin can be really loud which contrasts with his soft voice. He talks to himself even when alone. He’s funny to watch, but I can’t find many videos with him.

Right now, I’m looking forward to whatever he’s planning for the 3D debut. The most I’ve seen him is from the Iiheya netto radio. Or does narration for Lever Gacha count? I like his interactions with Kaida! In general I like how excited he gets.

Mashiro: I don’t know much of him other than the fact he’s male but looks as cute as a girl. And he did some kind of RTA for some action game?

He’s cute for sure. And he’s also always doing something horror-related.

Kanda: He’s very cool. He’s hardworking and honest. Though he might be best known for GunKan, my first encounter with him was a subbed clip of him talking with Mayuzumi about how he wanted to be more popular with female audiences and his interest in voicing BL. I admire his drive to improve himself. He also has a background with being bullied, dropping out of school, experiencing a terrible work environment, until he finally went back to school and enjoyed it everyday. Going back to GunKan, their interactions are very fun and there’s always so much energy in their interactions. It’s fun to see his eyes. Also, he’s friends with Mayuzumi.

Kanda is really cool. His control over how he presents himself is really impressive and almost scary. I can’t forget how in his presentation about how to speak clearly he said that you should always know what you want to say before you speak.

Uzuki Kou: I haven’t watched many videos of him. He’s a bit strange. He’s got a pairing with Ririmu. Together they are apparently pretty twisted. Beyond that, I don’t know too much about him.

I still don’t know too much about him, but he’s apparently good at speaking. Also nabe rap.

Shiba: The dog. That’s all I know.

The cute dog. Also has IRL stuff going on.

Aizono Manami: The other half of Benizuwaigani! She’s a maid. She’s really nice. She can put up well with others. She gives a big sister kind of feeling. I actually don’t know that much about her individually since most of what I see of her is in context with Akina.

I’ve seen her a bit since, but I can’t think of much else to add.

Fumi: I know her name and face. I feel like I should respect her for some reason, but I don’t remember. She is part of Sanbaka alongside Hoshikawa and someone else. She gets along well with Kanda. I don’t know much about her.

That last sentence there really couldn’t be more right! Sanbaka??? Neither of them have anything to do with that! I clearly somehow got it mixed up with Orihimeboshi somehow. What a mysterious entry... Now I know a bit about her from Fukeizai.

Nagao Kei: He’s loud and chaotic, but he’s also surprisingly smart. His loud voice is also good at singing. Actually, his streams are apparently very loud too. His voice is a bit nasally and it also sounds like Ibrahim’s voice. He’s very childish when he’s with VALZ, but with his senpai he’s more serious. He memorized the Keep talking and don’t explode manual. I want to watch that one. I also want to listen to his covers. I’d like to know more and more about Nagao Kei!

Nagao = sontaku. I have listened to his covers since and I’m interested in how far he’s going to take his lore. He comes up with a lot of unique stream ideas.

Gwelu Os Gar: A married man! He’s got a statue in Minecraft and Ark. He’s a fun guy in the collabs I’ve seen, but I don’t know much about him.

He’s somehow always involved in some interesting plan. Right now, I’m rooting for his 10-year-old PC. Endurance stream to 1M let’s go!

Suzuki Masaru: He’s a shota. He was once in a collab with Utako and Akina... that was interesting. He once came across Kanae’s slave ranch in Minecraft. Kanae was scary. Recently, I found out that Masaru has something to do with Kai Mayuzumi’s lore.

The shota that’s good at ASMR... that sort of introduction from the gasbag race is now imprinted in my mind. On the side, I also think of him as a member of Raindrops. I don’t think I’ve actually watched any of his streams (ASMR aside...).

Kasumi: She’s graduating. She’s involved with Mayuzumi’s lore.

She graduated right as I got started watching Nijisanji. I think I did see her very last stream back then.

Kaida Haru: He’s finally here! I’ve been very slowly adding to this, so it’s already be 1 month - almost - that I’ve been watching vtubers. Just about three weeks now. Kaida Haru is the one I decided to support. He has a good face and voice.

What about Kaida do I like? First of all I need to talk about his face and voice. He’s also good at guitar and singing and his taste in music is pretty similar to mine, so I know a lot of the songs he sings. His voice can be very loud and he plays with his voice a lot to make sounds. He’s bullied by a lot of people, but that’s just their way of getting along with each other. It shows how loved he is. He’s overall a really nice guy and he’s quite considerate. He can be serious too. Also, he apparently gets flamed easily.

One thing that makes me realize the passage of one year is the position of Kaida in this list. This list was ordered by the number of subscribers. Last year this time he didn’t even have 100k and now he’s got over 300k! It’s nice to continue supporting him for the past year, and I’m a happy fan. He does a lot.

Fushimi Gaku: He is friends with Kenmochi Touya and together they make Togabito. Some people ship them but they don’t especially like that. I don’t know too much about Gaku though.

Peace! I checked out OhaGaku once or twice and his Togabito stuff a bit. He feels like a nice senpai. Although I don’t really watch him, whenever I come across him (like in totsumachi) he always seems like a cool guy.

Aki Suzuya: I don’t know her

*him. Apart from Kenmochi’s obsession with him, I still don’t know him. I really, really like his cover of flos with Kenmochi though.

Kitakouji Hisui: She’s extroverted - very able to talk. I don’t know much of her. My image of her is from dogeza for breaking the lantern tree of Kaida.

She has a really cool adult form/outfit!! She also sings well. I think she’s interesting but I admit I haven’t seen much from her in the past several months.

Genzuki: This genius! He can sing, compose music, mix music, edit video, play games. He’s so powerful! Multiple instruments! Genius! He’s good at talking! Entertaining. I’m curious about the lore too. He also has a scary story about his memory. But I really like him. He’s got a very vocaloid-based library of music so very nostalgic! <3

I still admire his music so much! I’ve listened to all of his piano streams and they are very inspiring. His music stream lengths can go for a scary long time. Just listening to him talk is interesting especially when he talks about music.

Natsume: She seems nice. A good person. I know her most for the lantern tree story. She’s very cute. She just got a new outfit today.

I haven’t learned much else about her.

Kyoko Todoroki: I saw her in the singing relay. She seems nice, though I don’t know much about her.

Thanks to NijiFes, now I know she has a really good sense of fashion. And she can draw well. I haven’t seen much else of her though.

Gilzaren: I don’t know much about him, but his voice doesn’t match his model. He can also sing. I’ve listened to his songs.

I’ve managed to watch him live! It feels like an accomplishment. I’ve also spotted him in comment sections. It’s like seeing a unicorn.

Harusaki Air: The prince. He doesn’t stream much, probably because of his RL job.

I like watching him for casual streams. Since I know he has a day job, there’s a bit of a feeling of “casually playing games after work” that I like to imagine.

Naruse Naru: He does the voice drama club.

And he’s super good at Mario Kart! He’s also really cute and has a good voice. He’s been getting more popular! I still need to listen to some of the voice drama club - I’ve only listened to a couple.

Of course, there were a bunch of livers that I couldn’t name. Some are understandable, and others I wonder how I could have missed them.

Era Otogibara

Lulu Suzuhara

Kaede Higuchi

Roa

Toko Inui

Rin Shizuka

Mikoto Rindou

Rion Takamiya

Sister Claire

Kana Sukoya

Keisuke Maimoto

Rena Yorumi

Nui Sorciere

Meiji Warabeda

Machita Chima

Tamaki Fumino

Kokoro Amamiya

Furen E. Lustario

Petit Ratna

Fuyuki Hakase

Eru

Uiha Aiba

Tomoe Shirayuki

Levi Elipha

Ema August

Riri Yuuhi

Ichigo

Mugi Ienaga

Marin Hayama

Sou Hayase

Sayo Amemori

Eli Conifer

Youko Akabane

Mao Matsukai

Luis Camie

Moira

Naraka

Mahiro Yukishiro

Haruka Onomachi

Hoshizora Kirame

Yamagami Karuta

Miyako Seto

Hina

Momo Azuchi

Sango Suo

Rine Yaguruma

Kohaku

Akane Asahina

Tsumugu Kataribe

So here are my current day thoughts (very quickly written):

Era Otogibara: Graduated.

Lulu Suzuhara: Graduated.

Kaede Higuchi: Deron. She’s very rough. I mostly know her singing and the part that leaves an impression is the screaming. Also she did an anime OP.

Roa: I have only ever seen her through clips... Will she return?

Toko Inui: Super nice voice! She can sing live incredibly well!

Rin Shizuka: I get the impression she streams alone often? She does stream on twitch.

Mikoto Rindou: She is good at singing, she has a good voice (narration and speaking), she is athletic enough to dance and do a cartwheel, and she is cute. Even though I think all of this, I still haven’t really watched her, haha...

Rion Takamiya: Ojou. She’s pretty fun with Debi. I also like when she played around with Fuwa’s radio.

Sister Claire: Dogma is good. She has a very angelic voice. Our seiso representative in Nijisanji.

Kana Sukoya: Crazy smart. And how is she able to do everything she does??? Just doing nursing alone should be crazy, but to stream and sing and voice act too?? It’s only understandable that she decided to take a break to focus on her studies even though with the rate she releases content it doesn’t really feel like a break.

Keisuke Maimoto: He has some pretty intense stories (from watching clips). It feels like he’s someone with a lot of life experience.

Rena Yorumi: Magician! I like her! She’s got fun interactions in Minecraft and ARK. SMC is cute too.

Nui Sorciere: I don’t really watch her, but she plays RPGs a lot is the impression I have. Sorry, but I can’t help but think of “haitenakunaidesuka??”.

Meiji Warabeda: I know her best as a member of Raindrops. I don’t know much of her other activities as a liver.

Machita Chima: Freesia! No, but she has a really wonderful voice and a very cute design. I’ll tune into her utawaku occasionally.

Tamaki Fumino: Noraneko. At first, I would question the veracity of claims of her happenings, but now I’ve come to accept them.

Kokoro Amamiya: Dragon Girl. She’s cute and I like how she interacts with Kaida in contrast to that cuteness, haha.

Furen E. Lustario: Her design is very cool. She is really excitable which is fun to watch.

Petit Ratna: She does ASMR... I don’t watch her much, but my earliest impression is probably from when she invited Kuzuha in ARK.

Fuyuki Hakase: She can sing well. I really like her Gunjou. I don’t watch her actively, but I have had her minecraft streams play in the background before.

Eru: I am not going to even try her full name. I know her as a member of Raindrops. I’m sure there’s more to her, but I really haven’t watched much of her... I feel like I remember something APEX though... (You can say that about almost any Nijisanji liver though).

Uiha Aiba: Will she come back to streaming? What happened with the lore?? But her 3D debut was amazing and her constant singing and dancing covers are very impressive. They come out at such a pace that I haven’t been able to keep up so there are a bunch I haven’t seen.

Tomoe Shirayuki: She’s beautiful. All her MVs have really good art. Partly due to her 3D debut, I can’t help but think of her as an S...

Levi Elipha: She has a really powerful voice! And yet the gap with her normal speaking voice is so cute! The way she acts is also cute.

Ema August: She drinks a lot... for some reason that’s what I think of her. She has an adult form too.

Riri Yuuhi: She’s really cool. If you asked me for who the cool girl of 2434 is, it’s Riri.

Ichigo: I don’t know much about her. She doesn’t seem to be too active?

Mugi Ienaga: I don’t know much about her either. I’ve listened to some of her songs, but her part in Unknown Mother Goose is the one that I really remember.

Marin Hayama: Her mouth is always open in my mind. I wonder why? But I don’t know much about her. In the song werewolf I remember she had pretty dark lyrics.

Sou Hayase: She’s got a really cool singing voice! Apart from her singing, I probably see her the most in B-grade Variety.

Sayo Amemori: Another one who doesn’t stream much. I caught one of her streams live and I didn’t know what she was talking about. The quality of the video was really low though. Apparently that’s normal for her though, so I feel like I got the authentic experience.

Eli Conifer: She can play the flute. She went all out in the Koshien Siren tournament. She seems to do the thing where she duplicates herself to sing very well. Her voice is very cute.

Youko Akabane: I know her most for KanaeYou, but she seems like a nice person. Apart from those interactions, I see her sometimes in ARK clips.

Mao Matsukai: Very energetic! Her 3D debut showed off a lot of different appeal points. Her chat seems to like to bully her.

Luis Camie: A phantom thief?? She plays off well with Shellin. It’s fun to see their interactions, though I’ve only seen a couple. She has a bit of an airheaded kind of entertaining appeal.

Moira: The goddess. I don’t know much about her. She does seem nice and able to talk well. It looks like she gets along with her generation.

Naraka: Apparently her voice sounds like Maaya Sakamoto? I remember her singing is nice. She took part in VSaikyou I believe, but I don’t really watch her.

Mahiro Yukishiro: I recall she isn’t that popular, but I have heard some of her singing. I feel like I don’t see her stream that often?

Haruka Onomachi: She tries hard to appeal to English speakers. She also does ASMR. I don’t really watch her, but her on screen translator is interesting.

Hoshizora Kirame: I believe she’s good at drawing. I still don’t know much about her though.

Yamagami Karuta: A tengu! She has the image of being very pure though. I also don’t really watch her so I can’t say too much.

Miyako Seto: Photography club. She’s a fan of Kuzuha... but I don’t really watch her so I can’t say much.

Hina: She writes scripts. I don’t think she streams much at all anymore.

Momo Azuchi: She had a redesign at one point. I haven’t watched her.

Sango Suo: Absolutely amazing acting ability. I’ve seen a few examples where she acts with others and it’s very impressive. I haven’t seen her solo streams though.

Rine Yaguruma: I don’t know much about her.

Kohaku: Mela! is a banger. Unfortunately I don’t know much about her aside from that.

Akane Asahina: She’s been releasing a lot of high quality covers in high frequency and she makes a lot of effort to reach out to western fans. I’m not watching her, but I’m rooting for her success.

Tsumugu Kataribe: Library ghost. Will she ever stream again? (Have never seen her before).

[be11atrixthestrange]

Ron scolding Harry for not concern about Hermione and Krum's "relationship"("He is much older! he could perfectly take advantage of her, you know?") Harry gets tired of his claim and tells Ron about his conversation with Viktor in which he asked if Harry and her were more than friends. "If he bothered in finding out if she had feelings for someone else I don't think he's got bad intentions, mate. Just relax". How would Ron react?Relieved?Still wants to look out for her? What would he tell Harry?

Hi Anon! I have written quite a few conversations between Harry/Ron regarding Krum for Completely Mental, and this prompt was very similar, so I didn’t want to re-invent the wheel!  

I hope you enjoy my take on the Yule Ball! Check out the rest of the story in the link above if you like these moments ;).

The Yule Ball

Well, this was fun.

Harry was sitting frozen between Parvati and Ron at the Yule Ball, unsure what to say to either one of them.

Parvati probably wanted him to ask her to dance. He should ask, if he were to be a good date.

But if he got up and left, Ron would look like even more of an idiot, and Harry was already embarrassed enough for him. So he should stay with Ron, if he were to be a good friend.

His dilemma was solved when two Beauxbatons boys showed up to their table, offering their hands to Parvati and Padma.

"Do you mind?" Parvati asked in Harry's direction.

He shook his head.

Padma didn't even ask Ron- she took his hand and hurried back to the dance floor as if she couldn't get away from Ron fast enough.

Harry looked over at his best friend. Ron was dressed head to toe in maroon lace, wearing a scowl that told everyone at the ball to keep their distance. He stared out toward the dance floor, angrily watching Hermione and Krum. He didn't even seem to notice that his date had left, nor had he even thanked Harry for getting him a date. He hardly acknowledged the favor, and had barely spoken two words to Padma all evening.

Following Ron's gaze out to the dance floor, Harry spotted Krum, twirling Hermione to a fast paced song he didn't know. His view of Hermione and Krum was momentarily obscured by another couple, and Harry felt his own heart sink.

Cho and Cedric were huddled close together deeper in the throng of dancers. Cedric's lips brushed her ear, and she was laughing at whatever he had just whispered. Harry scowled as they turned, and he noticed how low his hands were on her waist. He willed himself to look away, and any annoyance he felt toward Ron dissipated as he swelled with empathy for his best friend.

"We could just leave, you know?"

Ron's expression didn't change, he just turned his scowl onto Harry. Harry flinched under his intense glare. "So Vicky can have a moment alone with her?" Fuck that."

Harry leaned away, looking at Ron incredulously. "Ron, they're just dancing. If it's bothering you so much, you don't have to watch them."

Ron didn't appear to have heard him, but now that the elephant in the room had been acknowledged he couldn't seem to shut up.

"When has she ever spoken to him? I don't understand how they even know each other."

Harry shrugged. He didn't understand that either. He had assumed that Hermione was always either spending time with them, or studying, but evidently she had a social life beyond Harry and Ron that neither knew anything about.

"She doesn't even think he's attractive, do you remember what she said about people only liking him because he's famous? What's she playing at?"

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted again.

"He's so much older too! That's just creepy, don't you think?"

Harry had considered that— it's true, Krum was older than Hermione, but Hermione was also older than both Harry and Ron, so Hermione might not see it that way.

Maybe they did know each other, and she liked him for reasons beyond the fact that he was famous. Harry had no way of knowing. However, it was also possible that she was at the ball with Krum for one very simple reason: he had asked her first.

After all, neither Harry nor Ron were at the ball with their preferred dates. Harry looked out at the crowd and wondered how many other students were actually here with their first choice partners. Harry hoped not Cho, and for Ron's sake, not Hermione.

"He's totally using her! He's gonna regret taking her to the ball, I'll make sure of it."

Harry rolled his eyes at Ron. In moments like this, Ron was more bark than bite. Harry doubted that he would even be able to get a word out to Krum if he ever actually approached Ron. He'd probably just end up asking for his autographic, and then beating himself up about it later.

Unfortunately, Harry was proven wrong when Krum turned and walked briskly toward the pair.

"Hello, Harry," said Krum as he approached. Harry looked up and expected to see Hermione, but she was no longer with him. "Ron, correct?"

Krum looked over at Ron, but he didn't answer, he just continued to scowl.

"Okay… Harry, Hermy-own-ninny has gone to the loo, I vas hoping ve could sit with you and haf drinks?"

Harry was about to answer in the affirmative, but was cut off by Ron.

"Why are you here with Hermione?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Ron's face was growing redder. "Why are you here with her? You know she's only fifteen, right?"

Krum looked shocked. "I'm sorry, if you think I haf the wrong intentions. I just enjoy her company, that is all. Hermy-oh-ninny and I get along very vell."

Ron scowled at him and sank further back into his seat. "Hermione. Try that again."

"Vat?"

Ron raised his voice. "Her-my-oh-nee. You're saying her goddamn name wrong. Has she never corrected you?"

"Oh. No, she hasn't." Krum looked over at Harry, as if willing him to back him up. Harry shrugged and shook his head. He had no idea what Ron was going for, nor how to stop him.

"Why couldn't you just go with someone else? You have so many other girls following you around because you're a famous Quidditch player, and you have to go with Hermione? Why?"

"I'm sorry, when I asked her it seemed like she vas available. I didn't know you haf feelings for her. She didn't tell me."

"I don't!" Harry scoffed as Ron shouted at Krum. Who was he kidding? "She's my friend, and you should keep your hands off her."

Krum narrowed his eyes at Ron. "If you vanted to come to the ball with her, you should haf asked."

He made to walk back to the dance floor, but turned around to look back at Ron before adding, "I von't tell her about this conversation."

Harry stared wide eyed at Krum as he turned on his heels and hurried toward the dance floor, where Hermione had returned. Ron continued to scowl at him as he leaned down to kiss Hermione on the cheek before turning toward the bar. She smiled and blushed.

Ron's clenched his fists. "Did he just kiss her?" He asked rhetorically. Hermione then spotted him, and hurriedly bid Fred and Angelina goodbye before making her way to the boys. Ron continued to scowl at her as she approached and Harry met her confused gaze with yet another shrug and shake of his head.

Krum must have kept his promise to Ron, because Hermione was clearly not privy to the conversation that had just occurred.

"It's hot, isn't it?" said Hermione, fanning herself with her hand. "Victor's just gone to get some drinks."

Ron gave her a withering look.

"Viktor?" He said. "Hasn't he asked you to call him Vicky yet?"

Harry winced, aware that a blazing row was coming, and he didn't want to get caught in the crossfire— again.

"What's up with you?" she said.

"If you don't know," said Ron scathingly, "I'm not going to tell you."

Harry froze, looking between his two best friends. Ron might as well have told Hermione everything she seemed to suspect, but didn't know. He watched understanding creep onto Hermione's face as her expression turned from anger to pity. He studied Hermione's expression- there was definitely more nuance to it than that, but Ron's rudeness combined with her frustration at him for nearly calling her a troll, however indirectly, left her looking at Ron like he was back in first year trying to cast Wingardium Leviosa with a the wrong hand motion and incorrect pronunciation.

Whatever his intentions were, they didn't matter, he was doing this all wrong. Hermione's attempt to mask her hurt resulted in a condescending scowl.

And that look set Ron off.

The two erupted into an argument, and Harry wished he could get up and leave without having them turn their anger back onto him.

He listened to Ron backtrack, trying to convince Hermione that the root of his anger was that Viktor Krum was from Durmstrang, and in direct competition with Harry. He continued to catch glimpses of their argument, unsure if he should try to mediate.

"Who's got a model of him up in their dormitory?" Hermione asked shrilly.

She had a point, but Ron ignored her.

At one point, Ron must have noticed how obvious his true feelings were because he stooped pretty low to hide them. "Obvious, isn't it? He's Karkaroff's student, isn't he? He knows who you hang around with… he's just trying to get closer to Harry— get inside information on him— or get near enough to jinx him—"

Hermione looked as though Ron had slapped her. And if words could slap someone, nothing would be more effective than Ron's implication that Victor's supposed interest in her was nothing more than a play to get ahead in the tournament. Her voice shook when she spoke next, biting back tears. "Ok. If I'm hearing you correctly, you think that there must be another motive for Victor to want to spend time with me. Because he's an international quidditch star, and could have any girl at this school, it makes no sense to you that he'd come to the ball with a… troll."

Harry snapped his head back toward Ron to see him contorting his face in a mixture of confusion and regret. "No, that's not what I meant."

But Hermione hadn't heard him. She had already stormed off, and was briskly walking back toward the dance floor, hastily wiping her eyes in an effort to compose herself.

Harry looked back over at Ron, who was avoiding his eye contact. Everyone around them had started staring, and Harry wished they wouldn't. Not for his sake, he was used to shrugging off attention, but for Ron's.

"I'm going to go." Ron stood up, and looked around, blushing as he noticed he had an audience.

Harry nodded as he watched Ron storm away through the doors of the great hall.

It was going to be a long night.

[omgjasminesimone]

Homecoming Part 3

Bryce x MC

Previous Part: Part 2

Next Part: Part 4

Summary: Bryce and Casey attend his sister’s bachelorette party

Word Count: ~3000

Author’s Note: As always, let me know if you’d like to be tagged for the next parts!

“Ughh.” Bryce mutters as he wakes up, head pounding from his hangover.

After leaving family brunch the day before, all he could think about was how badly he needed a drink. (Not a mimosa though, that would just remind him of his alcoholic mother.) But he had promised Casey he’d teach her how to surf, so they did that first. Later in the night, they met up with the high school friends he was still in contact with for drinks at his favorite Honolulu pub. Back in the day, they didn’t used to card so he’d spent plenty of time there during his teenage years.

Casey fit in seamlessly with his friends, and he enjoyed showing her off. They’d been out very late, had drank quite a lot, to the point where he could almost forget about the brunch disaster.

Bryce is quickly sobering now though. And already dreading the joint bachelorette-bachelor party that they’ll be attending tonight. His mother is hosting at the house, which means it will be an offensive display of wealth. The dress code is black tie, which informs him that it will also be boring.

Bryce rolls over to his side, wrapping at arm around Casey. He kisses the back of her neck, squeezing her gently. “Baby, wake up. Do you still want to go hiking?”

Casey groans, speaking into the pillow. “Too hungover. I feel like I’m dying, amor.”

“Amor?” Bryce repeats, his pronunciation of ‘love’ nowhere near as good as Casey’s.

Casey rolls over to face him. “Now that we’re using the L word, you finally get a term of endearment. All the good Spanish ones are so romantic that I couldn’t use them if you just liked me.”

“All I had to do was tell you that I loved you to finally get my endearment? Well damn, I should have done that months ago.”

Casey laughs, giving him a quick peck.

He’s unsatisfied with such a chaste kiss. He cups her cheeks, pulling her to him and kissing her again. He licks at her lips until she opens her mouth, his tongue sweeping inside.

“Say it again.” He mumbles against her lips when he pulls away. “Roll the r.”

“Amor.” She pronounces, exaggerating the rolled r at the end.

“I love you baby.”

“I love you too, mi amor.”

…

..

.

 Haku laughs as he surfaces, shaking the chlorinated pool water out of his dark hair.

“Again Uncle Bryce, again!” The boy cries out, swimming back to his uncle.

Bryce grips under Haku’s armpits, hoisting him far into the air once again.  He stretches as Haku hits the water with a large splash. His arms are starting to get tired. Haku really does have limitless energy. That’s why Abigail asked him to babysit. Their mother wanted him out of the house as she made preparations for the party, not running around under the hired help’s feet.

Haku smiles as he surfaces, swimming back once again. “Now let’s play Marco Polo!”

“I don’t know little man. The rest of the hotel guests might not like that.” The pool is fairly popular today, and Bryce narrowly dodges a small girl doggy paddling by him.

Haku pouts. “Ok, I’m taking a bathroom break and then we can have a holding our breath competition!”

Haku hurries out of the pool, tugging up his blue swim trunks. “Do you need me to go with you?” Bryce offers.

Haku looks at him incredulously. “No!” He says insistently. “I’m eight!”

Bryce smirks. “My bad, you’re right. You’re a big boy. But don’t run off! Come right back here!”

Haku rolls his eyes, but doesn’t retort.

Bryce’s gaze falls on Casey, who is watching with a smile from the in-pool bar. He swims to her, leaning against the stool next to her. “I know what you’re thinking.”

Casey sips on her non-alcoholic smoothie, returning his flirty gaze. “And what’s that?”  

“Something along the lines of…” He pitches his voice up in a mocking imitation of her’s. “Wow, Bryce is so good with him. He’s going to be an amazing dad. Definitely not one of those workaholic doctors who never plays with his kids. Wow, I really want him to father my children.” He leans in closer, delighting in the blush that spreads across her olive skin.

“Even if I had been thinking something like that, the arrogance with which you just said that immediately made my ovaries shrivel up.”

Bryce puts a hand over his heart, pretending to be hurt. “Don’t say that babe.” He drops the act, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her softly. “We’d make such pretty babies. And they’d be smart too.” He breathes against her lips.

Haku returns, cannonballing into the water. Bryce kisses her one more time before pulling away. Haku swims to Casey. “Want to do the breath holding competition with us Casey?” Haku asks.

“Why don’t I be the referee? We have to make sure your uncle doesn’t cheat.” Casey whispers the last part conspiratorially.

“I never cheat. When you’re as talented as I am, you don’t have to. I’ll show you who has the better lung capacity Haku. But after that we have to head back to the room and get ready for your mom’s party.”

…

..

.

Bryce takes a deep breath when he stops the car outside his family’s colossal mansion, composing himself. The valet appears, opening the door for him. He nods, handing over the keys. Haku and Casey step out of the car as their doors are opened as well.

“Haku, come here.” Bryce orders.

Haku approaches and Bryce crouches, fixing Haku’s tie since he’d been playing with it during the car ride. He claps his nephew’s shoulder, and Haku grins before running into the house. Bryce turns to Casey, placing a hand on her lower back. She turns to him, gripping his black tie. “This is crooked.” She straightens it, tugging on it to bring his lips down to her’s when she’s done.

The kiss is chaste, because she’s wearing deep red lipstick and doesn’t want to get it all over him. He admires how beautiful she is for a moment. Her black dress is long with a slit running up to her thigh. The deep v neckline exposes a tasteful amount of cleavage. He smirks when he sees she’s checking him out as well. She’s never seen him in a tux before. As good as he looks in his scrubs, he knows he really shines in a tux.

He offers her his arm. “Shall we?”

She grins, gripping his strong bicep. “Let’s.”

They enter the house, and Casey is clearly awed as soon as she glances around the ballroom he leads her to. Hawaii’s richest and most powerful are all in attendance, mingling and networking in the large open space.

“You guys have a ballroom in your house?” Casey asks with disbelief.

“My parents have a ballroom in their house.” He corrects, grabbing some champagne off the tray of a passing waiter.  

There is a live band playing, but it’s soft elevator music and no one is dancing. Bryce spots Haku sitting in a chair in the corner, playing a video game on a handheld console. “This is a pretty low key bachelorette party. I was hoping for debauchery. And strippers.” Casey comments.

Bryce smirks, resting his hand on her back, a little lower than is proper. “Is that what you’re into? I can strip for you.”

“Was that another one of your med school side hustles?” She jokes.

“Nah, the bartending and modeling were enough to get me through. But I think I’d be good at stripping. Probably one of my many talents. We can find out when we get back to the hotel tonight.”

Any response Casey might have had is interrupted when Mrs. Lahela spots them from across the room and approaches.

“Bryce, dearest.” She is wearing a black ballroom dress, encrusted with expensive stones. She kisses both of his cheeks in a European style greeting. “And Casey, darling, how wonderful to see you again.” She kisses Casey on both cheeks as well, grinning when she pulls away.

Casey is a little thrown off by the transformation. There is a wine glass in her hand, but Bryce’s mother is just sipping on it casually. Nothing like the lush she met at brunch. “Nice to see you again too.” Casey returns.

“You look wonderful.” Mrs. Lahela compliments.

“Thank you, so do you.” Casey replies.

Mrs. Lahela spots someone over Casey’s shoulder and turns back to her with an apologetic grin. “You must excuse me, I just saw the Governor. Hostess duties call, but do try the escargot! It was very expensive and it’s delicious.”

Bryce scoffs when his mother is out of earshot. “She never drinks heavily in front of other people. You’ll learn soon that nothing is more important to my family than appearances and reputation. She saves the alcoholic you met at brunch just for her immediate family.” He answers her silent question.

Casey squeezes his hand comfortingly. “Well, you heard your mother. Let’s find this escargot.”

They meander through the room, sampling the food the wait staff is carrying around.

“Bryce!” Abigail calls, dragging her fiancé behind her by the hand.

“Ryan.” Bryce greets shortly, nodding at the handsome blonde man.

“Hey Bryce. Good to see you again. It’s been years….I think the last time I saw you was prep school graduation.” Ryan responds.

Bryce doesn’t try to keep the conversation going.

“I’m Casey. This is quite the bachelor party.” Casey interjects to fill the awkward silence.

Ryan smiles at her, shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you Casey. I can’t take any credit. Mrs. Lahela – I mean Kate, she insists that I call her Kate now – planned everything.”

As Ryan and Kate talk, Abigail leans in to talk in Bryce’s ear. “Dad wants you to join him in the cigar room.”

Bryce grimaces. The cigar room. That’s never good. “I can’t just leave Casey.”

Abigail shoots him an annoyed look. “She’s a big girl Bryce. She can mingle. Would you just go talk to him so he doesn’t come out here and cause a scene in front of all of my guests?”

Bryce sighs, running a hand through his hair irritably. “Fine.” He turns to Casey, interrupting her conversation with Ryan somewhat rudely, but he really doesn’t like Ryan. Back in prep school, Ryan had been a womanizer, a bully, an elitist who treated the boarding school staff terribly, and just an all-around asshole.  

“Baby, I’ve got to go for a few minutes. Will you be okay out here?”

“Of course Bryce. I’m a big girl.”

Abigail smiles. “That’s what I said. Come on Casey, I’m going to introduce you to a few people.”

Bryce reluctantly walks through the hall to the cigar room. He knocks, and waits for his father to say “enter” before opening the door.

Aoloa sits in his favorite red plush chair, very expensive and reminiscent of a throne. Bryce’s older brother Francis sits in a smaller chair beside their father. In addition to his family, some close male family friends are also in the room. They’re all puffing on expensive cigars.

“Bryce, take a seat. Have a cigar.” Aoloa suggests, but it comes off as a demand.

Bryce sits on a couch beside his father’s lawyer, nodding at the older man. “I’ll pass on the cigar. It’s not good for you.” Bryce replies.

Aoloa shrugs. “Suit yourself. They’re Cuba’s finest though, so you’re really missing out.”  

“You won’t find a lot of physicians who smoke.” Bryce retorts.

Francis scoffs, and Bryce glares at him. “Something you want to say?”

Francis’ eyes narrow as he regards his little brother. “Yes actually. Ever since you became a doctor you think you’re so much better than us. That the family real estate business is beneath you. Frankly, I find it infuriating.”

“Francis, stop. This is between me and my son.” Aoloa insists.

Francis looks angry, but he defers to Aoloa. As always, playing the faithful little lap dog.

“Bryce, business is booming lately. With Ryan entering the fold, we’ll acquire an exclusive contract with his father, an important developer. We need all the Lahelas involved in the business.”

Bryce’s jaw clenches. They’ve had this conversation before. He’s never wanted in on the family business. He’s always been passionate about surgery. When he admitted this at his prep school graduation dinner, his father had become enraged. Ultimately, he refused to support Bryce financially through college. With his father’s income, Bryce qualified for no financial aid. He had been admitted to Stanford for undergrad, but he couldn’t afford it on his own so he’d taken a scholarship to the University of Hawaii.

He’d been looking forward to getting out of Hawaii. Looking forward to distancing himself from his toxic family. But he’d had to wait until medical school to finally go to Stanford, working his way through since his father still refused to help him.

“I’m about to be a senior resident. I’m the best surgical resident Edenbrook has. This is my dream, and I’ve worked hard for it.”

Aoloa’s eyes narrow. “Your dream? To be so poor that you have to ask your parents for money to buy a house?”

Bryce’s fist clenches. “I knew you would try to hold that over my head. I’m paying you back. I send you money every month. And let’s not forget you’re charging me interest, a much higher interest rate than any bank would charge.”

“No bank would ever give you a loan. You have no idea what it’s like to actually earn something on your own merit. To work hard. I came from nothing, and built all of this. You had every advantage, groomed for this work, and you’re throwing it all away.” Aoloa says with disappointment.

“Well so be it then. Invoice me for whatever I owe you for my upbringing. I’ll work on paying that back too.”

Francis leans back in his chair. “I told you this was a waste of time Dad.”  

“Seems like raising him in the first place was a waste of my time.” Aoloa responds cruelly.

Bryce stands, heading for the door. “I’m done here.” He slams the door behind him.

…

..

.

Casey and Abigail have migrated from the ballroom to the patio, where heat lamps and twinkling lights have been set up for ambiance.

“You know, I’m surprised you’re out here with me. Don’t you have a lot of friends in there?” Casey asks.

“Those are my parents’ friends. You’ve probably noticed, but my mom likes to throw parties seemingly for other people, but really just to show off her expensive house. Luckily, my actual friends planned a much better bachelorette party last week. There were strippers and penis decorations.”

Casey smiles. “Good. The bachelorette party you deserve.”

Abigail smiles, sipping on a cocktail and regarding Casey. “You know, I really like you. And I like you for Bryce. And this is a huge compliment coming from me because Bryce’s ex Tia is one of my best friends, one of my bridesmaids even. I kind of ship them, but man, you’re making me waiver.” Abigail seems to be a little drunk.  

“Thanks, I think.” Casey replies dubiously.

Abigail finishes her cocktail, gesturing for a passing waiter to bring her another.  “Bryce is just such a good guy, I always want the absolute best for him. Did he tell you that he let me live in his dorm room when I got pregnant?”

Casey shakes her head no, Bryce definitely didn’t tell her any of that.

“My parents were pissed. Unmarried teenage daughters don’t get pregnant very often in their circles. They said I was ruining the Lahela name. They wanted me to get an abortion.”

The waiter brings the cocktail, and Abigail downs it in one gulp before continuing. “But I loved Kahoni. And I wanted his baby. So they threw me out onto the streets. Kahoni is one of ten kids and lived in a three bedroom house with his whole family, so I couldn’t go to him. Francis had his own condo in Honolulu at the time, but he told me to get lost. He’s an asshole. But Bryce was living in a dorm at the University of Hawaii and he moved me in no questions asked. He even gave me his bed. He slept in a sleeping bag on his floor for the rest of the semester. I felt really bad about that, worried he was going to mess his grades up since he wasn’t getting a good night’s sleep.”

Abigail’s eyes well up with tears. “He’s just such a good guy Casey. He was the first one to hold Haku, you know. Kahoni had a car accident rushing to the hospital when I went into labor, so it was just me and Bryce. And he also helped me and Kahoni pay for our own place afterwards, for almost a year until Kahoni finally got a decent job.”

Casey takes Abigail’s hand, squeezing it to comfort the younger woman. “What happened with Kahoni?’ Casey asks.

“Love doesn’t pay the bills. I thought he was going to get it together eventually, be the man that I needed. But he never fully stepped up, not the way I wanted him to. Kahoni says I’m spoiled, that I expect too much. But my parents softened a little bit after Haku was born. They never liked Kahoni and told me I could come home if I left him. So two years ago I did.”

“Well, at least you’re happy now with Ryan.” Casey says.

Abigail smiles sadly. “Happy enough anyway.”

Bryce suddenly appears, making a beeline for her. “Casey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Let’s get out of here. I can’t be here a second longer.”

He sounds so insistent she finds herself immediately getting to her feet.

Abigail laughs humorlessly. “That bad huh?” She asks softly. She stands as well. “Thanks for coming big brother.” She hugs him tightly. “See you tomorrow bright and early for the rehearsal!” She chimes when she releases him.

“Wait, rehearsal? Why? I’m not in the wedding party.” Bryce questions.

Abigail looks surprised. “Of course you are. I made Ryan make you a groomsman.”

…

..

.

Taglist:  @octobereighth @sibella-plays-choices @hazah @akrenich @lovehugsandcandy @professorortegasstudent @regina-and-happiness @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicesarehard @lizeboredom  @desiree-0816 @hellooliviaolivia @dreaming-of-movies @friedherringclodthing @weaving-in-words @fairydustandsarcasm @goldenjellyfish12 @pessimystic-fangirl @mimikoasahina

[alphacygni]

In the desert, Jesus was tempted three times. The demon in charge of the last temptation had a far better sense of humor than the first two.

AKA Crawly gets a little advice on love from the Messiah.

*************************

The Judean Desert

30 AD

 Crawly curled up near the man in companionable silence and looked out across the open gold of desert. The sky was violent blue, and the eerie quiet reminded him of the stripped, airless feel of sitting among stars, staring into the bared heart of a galaxy.

In places like this, Truth lurked nearer the surface. This was a place of riddle and insight. A pulse point of the universe, best suited to meditation and contrition and contemplation.

In short, it was a dreadful bore.

How anyone could spend forty days here, Crawly would never understand.

“Hello, friend.”

When Crawly turned to look, he found the man smiling at him. “You can come closer, if you like. Out of the sand.”

Crawly did like. Sand was far and away one of the worst things about manifesting corporeally. Even as a snake, it got everywhere.

“I suppose you’re here to tempt me, too?”

“Ssssomething like that.” Crawly’s tongue darted in and out.  “Issss there anything you’d like, particularly?”

The man’s smile deepened, etching happy lines at the corners of his eyes. “It’s no fun if you do it like that.”

As much as possible for a snake, Crawly shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt to assssk. Could ssssave us both a lot of time.”

The man’s chuckle was as warm as the stretch of rock on which they sat. “I like you, demon. You’ve a better sense of humor than the others did.”

Against his best judgment, Crawly found he liked this man, too—though, truth be told, he was far from what Crawly’d expected. There was nothing grand or beautiful about him: no flowing hair or radiant light or fearsome countenance. The sun silhouetted only narrow shoulders and cast shadows across sand-beaten skin. Hell, the man’s eyes didn’t even twinkle.

He didn’t look like the son of the Almighty. He looked like…a man. Just a man.

“What’s your name, demon? I’m Joshua bar-Joseph, by the way. In case they didn’t tell you.”

They had told him a name, in fact, but it wasn’t this one. It was a name that had no pronunciation in the tongues of men—it was Their name.

“I’m Crawly.”

“Crawl-y?” The man pulled a face. “‘A little on the nose, isn’t it?”

Suddenly self-conscious of his low and coiled state, Crawly stretched out into human form, more comfortable meeting this man eye-to-eye. Sand dribbled away from all the places it had gathered between scales.

“Yeah, I s’pose it is a bit obvious,” Crawly admitted. “Don’t think I could pull off anything more traditional, though. Belial, Azazel, Baphomet. A lot of expectation attached to a name like that.”

“And you want to be your own man.”

“Or woman,” Crawly said with a better go at a shrug. “Or snake.”

“I see. You’d know best, of course,” the man conceded before letting out a weary sigh and returning his gaze to the emptiness of the desert. “Well, then, Crawly. I suppose we ought to get down to business. What have you got planned?”

“Oh, I haven’t decided. I try to take these things as they come, you know? Don’t like anything to feel too rehearsed.”

“Your friend Hastur suggested I use my heavenly powers to turn these stones into bread.” He picked up a pebble and flung it into the sands below. “Not very creative.”

“Yeah, nah, that’s, uh, that’s not really his strength.”

“The demon…Ligur I think his name was? He tried to convince me to throw myself down from this height so as to force the angels to catch me.” He shook his head. “Almost nonsensical.”

“Especially if you know the angel who’d be doing the catching. I’ve seen his hand-eye coordination.”

An appraising look. “And what do you propose? I’m guessing you’ve got something better.”

Crawly wished, and not for the first time, that he understood the effing ineffable Plan. What the heaven was he meant to be accomplishing here?

“I dunno. I mean… can I be honest with you, Josh?”

“Please,” he said like a man who knew better.

“Honestly, I think the humans will do worse than anything I could.”

A hint of sadness. “You might be right.”

“It’s a dangerous business, this Messiah thing. If you’re serious about it…about teaching people and bringing God’s kingdom to humankind…sure, I mean, as agendas go it’s not my cup of wine obviously, but it’s not a bad idea. It’s just…well, the world’s a big place, Josh. There’s a lot of people out there.”

Crawly swiped his hand through the air, and sand swirled up from below, whistling in wide arcs before resolving into a shimmering, intricate map of the world. It hung, translucent and dazzling on the wind in front of them: a picture that wouldn’t be seen again on Earth for another fifteen hundred years or near.

“Now, we’re here, you see?” Crawly pointed to one of the grains of sand and it twinkled, tiny in the vast expanse. “But that’s such a small place. There are kingdoms far beyond. And I’m not just talking about Rome and Gaul and Egypt.” As he spoke the names, small swaths lit up here and there, but large portions remained dark and unnamed. “There are countless kingdoms beyond anything even the Romans have seen. And they’re all…well, they’ve got a lot in common, really. They could all benefit from what you have to say.”

Crawly watched the man’s eyes drift, entranced, across the map.

“Seems to me,” he pressed, “that if you really wanted to do good—really wanted to improve humanity on a grand scale—it might not be such a bad thing using some of that almighty power of yours. Make your own kingdom, a godly kingdom, run on everything you’ve dreamt of. Peace, equality, kindness—all that. You could spread that message farther and deeper than the Romans have spread theirs. Probably a spot better than what they’ve come up with, if I’m honest.”

Crawly, in the last four thousand years, had learned a thing or two about temptation. He saw the briefest flicker of it in the man’s face now—weak but blinking open sleeping eyes. It conceded the point.

“That’s what the Almighty wants of you, isn’t it? To spread Their message to every corner of the world? To—”

Crawly stopped. Just beyond the floating map, a small, white dot had appeared on the horizon. He recognized it instantly.

Floating sand collapsed back into the dunes below, leaving only scraped blue skies.

The man beside him didn’t miss it.

“Someone you know?” He looked between Crawly and the approaching figure, interest now obviously diverted.

“Yeah…we’ve, uh, we’ve met a few times.” Crawly kept eyes on that growing white dot and tried to ignore the thing. How long had it been? Three thousand years or so? And still…this ridiculous thing. This turn in the chest, this fluttering, like the memory of a wing stretched overhead.

Every other step, the angel stopped and shook out his robes, gesticulating angrily at the sand and dusting at himself with fervor. He carried loaves of bread and a ceramic jug—no doubt sent to break the man’s fast as a reward for avoiding all those demonic temptations.

An awkward time for a quick catch-up.

“And that’s my exit,” Crawly sighed, giving the man beside him a grudging nod. “Congratulations on, you know, avoiding temptation, I suppose. And good luck with the whole Messiah…thing.”

“No hard feelings, yeah?” He set a hand on Crawly’s shoulder. There was something unsettlingly knowing about it.  “And, you’re right, you know. Power can be a way of getting your message across, of being heard. Sometimes even for the good. But can I tell you another truth, my friend? One deeper and a little harder to divine?”

For a moment, just a moment, the look in the man’s eyes reminded him of a shining, clean feeling. A feeling he’d had in a place he could barely remember. A place from before the Beginning.

“Yeah…alright.”

“Sometimes quiet and unwavering acts of love speak more loudly than a thousand clambering spears and shields.” A smile, soft as song. “More loudly than all the angels of heaven or the demons of hell.”

Warm wind gusted, tickling sand against Crawly’s neck. It matched the stupid tickle in his chest at the word.

Quiet and unwavering acts of...

That word.

Crawly hadn’t considered that.

“Whatever you say, Josh,” he sighed, deciding not to point out that the man might find a few spears and shields handy when he started preaching against Roman rule. “You’re the Messiah, after all.”

He laughed and maybe his eyes did twinkle—just a bit. “Shall I say hello to the angel for you?”

But Crawly was already slipping back into scales and slipping away. “I was never here, Josh.”

“One more piece of advice, then, before you go…?”

Crawly gave a peeved sort of hiss. “Let me guessss. ‘The meek sssshall inherit the earth’? ‘Love thy brother as thysssself’?”

The man’s smile didn’t waver as he turned back to survey the desert once again. “Think about ‘Crowley.’ It would suit you.”

Crawly hated to admit it, but the Messiah had a point there.

He wondered if the angel would agree.

[hillybargrove]

It’s Late

Roger Taylor x Reader

Summary: the reader 

Word Count: just over 1k

A/N: this could possibly feature a little bit of brian x reader but i haven’t quite decided yet 

You two met through Mary, she thought you might like the blond college boy who roamed around her workplace. While she was right, she always was when it came to men, she left out the reason he was there in the first place, picking up girls.

Freddie and Brian were ecstatic, Roger was never the one with a long term girlfriend and they were tired of his sex-capades. Unfortunately for them, you actually went to school hours and hours away, making the idea of introducing the two of you seem almost pointless.

You did visit every once in a while, to see your friends and parents, of course. You even ended up at a pub one night to see them perform, but you didn't recognize them, nor did you think they were any good.

Then, on a Thursday in February, you were having a beer in the back corner of a pub down the street from your school. Queen was there, this time with a bassist. You remembered Freddie from before, Mary introduced you before you had to leave to start school, so you said a hello.

"Oh, Y/N. That's right, your Mary's friend! It's so nice to see you again, darling."

"You guys were amazing, much better than the last time I saw you," You joked. "You're welcome to sit if you like."

"Thank you, that's very kind, but I've got three children who would never let me hear the last of it if I ditched them." He smiled with warmth in his eyes, you wondered how Mary got so lucky.

"It's alright. I probably shouldn't have offered," You alluded to your notes on the table, "I've got a test in the morning."

"Well, dear, if you feel like taking a study break anytime soon," He pointed over to the rest of his band sitting at the bar, "Join us for a drink."

Of course, after twenty minutes of trying to memorize the major systems of the body, you closed your textbook and made your way over to the group.

"Hey," You smiled when they all looked at you, "I gave up." You dropped your anatomy textbook on the counter for dramatic effect. It must've worked, because they all cheered and immediately ordered another round. Freddie offered to pay for yours, or rather, insisted. You somehow already knew you weren't going to win that argument, so you let him.

Just one, Fred. You did not have just one.

After a couple beers, you were red faced and buzzing with delight for your newfound friends. Brian, said guitarist, even tried to help you with your studying. Except he managed to correctly pronounce four of the thirty-nine muscles in the diagram. Then everybody started fighting for your textbook, eyeing the names and giving their best guess.

"Roger's only winning because he's in biology!" Brian whined, they had started keeping score on a few crumpled up napkins.

"How's it my fault you chose to study the bloody stars, Brian? Huh?"

"You were supposed to be a dentist!" Brian threw a bit of a wadded up napkin at Roger's head, starting a war. Roger threw it back, Brian balled up a second one to use but aimed poorly, hitting John.

"I'm not getting involved in your stupid napkin game." This, of course, made him the target for both of them. Freddie was silently scolding himself for even knowing such an "immature group of grown men". John's hair was littered with spitballs, and doing his best to refrain from showing any trace of fear in his eyes.

These boys were absolutely insane, you would be sure to tell Mary that the next time you spoke with her on the phone.

Minutes had gone by without a surrender on John's part, and without any mercy on Roger and Brian's.

"Boys."

Freddie must have practiced for hours to perfect that tone of complete and utter disappointment. You flashed back to earlier that night when he called them children, he was right, but you enjoyed it.

John excused himself to the bathroom, likely to take the time picking out all the bits and pieces from his long hair. Brian apologized to Freddie, and then to you. Roger, however, continued sulking in his seat when he was told to knock it off.

For the first time in hours, you turned and looked at the clock.

2:06 AM

You were going to be very tired and very unprepared for tomorrow's exam in the morning. Quickly, you helped clean up the mess and admitted you had to go. Everyone's expressions softened, it felt like the time had flown by. You stood and hugged Freddie first.

"Darling, you've got to come visit us more, alright?"

"Of course, Fred. Anything to see the three of them go at it again."

"They're bloody ridiculous, aren't they?"

Next, you hugged Brian, who was much taller than the other three. As they were all drunk, he teetered a bit and pressed a kiss to your temple.

"Y/N, I promise we're not always like this."

"Oh, yes we are," John said, back from the bathroom. "It was wonderful to meet you." He gave you a quick hug before you moved on.

Roger was last, still brooding from Freddie's shut down of their game.

"If anybody gives you shit for scoring low on this test, you can tell them to answer to me." You laughed and embraced him. "Let me know what you get, though, I'm curious."

"Roger." Freddie thumped his head.

"Ouch, Fred, alright. I just meant if she doesn't get a good grade, I can help." Freddie shrugged, but Roger quickly mouthed a sorry to you.

Picking up both the textbook and stack of note papers that you brought along with it, you waved goodbye to the band and made the brisk walk home in the cold weather.

Fortunately for you, class had been cancelled the next day, giving you another chance to get in some actual studying. You almost wished you could go back to last night, with the arguing over pronunciations and spit ball fights. You knew you'd see them again, though, and soon.

[start-of-nothing]

young alain delon

"Can we talk?" the manager asked him as he was preparing a dessert dish in the back. The manager, a large man with gentle eyes, patted down his back pocket and said "Hold on a minute let me get my cigarettes" acting as if he were suddenly caught defenseless. He vanished and in the brief pause the young man mentally organized how he was going to make his dignified exit. He knew this "talk" would happen but he hadn't expected it today. The manager reappeared with his pack of cigarettes and made a motion to go sit in the waiting lounge area. They walked over together and the young man could feel his pinky finger start to twitch - a habit he picked up in the two weeks of working as a dessert server. They both sat down in silence. The reservation booth was adjacent to them and the hostess was on the phone speaking a language he couldn't recognize. "Perhaps Swedish?" he thought to himself. The manager unwrapped the pristine cigarette box and opened it up. He offered the young man a cigarette but he declined. With cigarette dangling from mouth and his hands busy guarding his flame from the breeze, the manager exhaled deeply and said "Listen Samuel." The neatly organized speech the young man prepared for himself to give quickly dissipated. The manager continued "It's been a pleasure having you here but the competition was high this year and I decided to go with another applicant." As the manager said this he could feel the hostess turn and stare at him. Samuel knew this would happen. He had lied about his experience and knew he wasn't on the same level as the others. It was a night and day difference. The young man looked down as if thinking for the right response but in the end simply nodded his head in agreement. "If you like you can finish up the evening," the manager said.

"How do you do it?" he asked his manager. "Twelve hours six days of the week of your life serving others." The manager replied "The restaurant business isn't for everyone. It's hard for me too. I have a wife and a daughter. What I can I say? I didn't win the lottery so I work. But I can't complain. I'm not in some office bent over typing on a computer all day. I'm not stuck in some trashy establishment. I'm proud of what I built here. And look the sea and the sky are right in front of us and I get to be in it's presence all day. It feels like travelling I meet so many new faces during the summer." And for the first time it all made sense to him - he wanted exactly what his manager had just explained. Even though he complained about it, the schedule felt like a breeze to him. His co-workers felt like family to him. It was all starting to evaporate. For the first time in ages he felt like crying. He managed to compose himself and said, "Don’t tell anyone. My departure I mean. I don't like goodbyes and I don't want anyone to know." The manager put out his cigarette in the ashtray and said "Of course."

That evening he arrived as usual. He climbed down the long stairs and into the patio restaurant area. The chairs were still stacked on the tables and the beach sand soiled with a million footsteps. The sea was the same though. He looked over and saw the crew preparing for the evening's work. He immediately spotted his replacement. He looked kind. Like a young Alain Delon.  

Samuel was at the dessert bar chopping fruit and the head pastry chef, Julie, was at his side. It was a slow afternoon and she was watching him work. She asked, "What did Leo want?" Trying not to react to the question he simply continued chopping the fruit and said, "Not much we were just figuring out stuff." Trying to change the topic he said to her, "The new guy is really beautiful." She shrugged and said "I have a boyfriend." "But still" he exhorted. She replied, "Not really my type. Is that yours?" she asked. "I don't know", he said and then after a pause continued "I don't think I have one. I like who I like. And yourself?" She thought for a moment and said “I love people who love things. That's my type." "What do you mean?" he asked. "Like someone who loves motorcycles and I mean sincerely loves motorcycles and knows everything about them. But it doesn't have to be motorcycles that's just an example. Anything - Volcanoes, stereos, chairs. Before I met my boyfriend he had this position with this high end art gallery. I’m talking big league deals. But he said that deep down he was secretly obsessed with dentistry. That was what he was obsessed with. He even had numerous subscriptions to dental magazines and devoured the contemporary dental theory from the academic journals. Could you imagine that? Realizing that what you’re really obsessed with in this world is the methods for proper dental care. That was one of the most attractive things that I had ever heard. Not the dental care part but the passion he had for it. It was poetry to me. I’ve been with him for almost three years. The longest I've ever been committed.” He responded "I've never passed six months." She smiled and said, "You should probably work on that."

Starting his shift that evening he found himself strangely calm. Free from the stress of trying to win an employment spot the young man considered his last performance a graceful bow. His hands no longer trembled at delivering and presenting the desserts to the tables. He chatted with the clients freely and sincerely. He could still feel the clumsiness of his American accent creeping up but for the most part he was precise with his delivery. He stopped thinking and relied completely on muscle memory and it felt so good. Overall he found his final night uneventful and free from incident.

In the locker room preparing to leave he found Julie. They both nodded. The young man began preparing his backpack and she asked if he could start with utensil sterilization tomorrow for the morning preparation. He hesitated at lying to her. She had always been very kind to him even during his most idiotic mistakes and had been his only mentor for the past two weeks. He had spent the evening lying to his coworkers about tomorrow but this time it felt wrong.

Back in his civilian clothes and with backpack in hand he made the march towards the exit. He shook hands with one of the main servers - a quiet teenager by the name of Frederic. "Not too tired from your first week Sam?" Frederic asked and continued, "This week wasn't even busy. I would say it was medium low. It's like that. Week by week until the season is over." Samuel loved how he talked about the demanding hours with a sense of pride. He walked over to the head server and said his name "Adrian" with his American pronunciation. He always laughed at the sound of it. 

The two co-workers he was fond of were smoking their cigarettes in the lounge and he walked over and to tell them goodbye. One of them began speaking English to him and the other quickly began mocking her accent. "Don't worry about him your English is so much better. He's an 'assole'" Samuel said mocking the antagonist's inability to pronounce his h's. In revenge the antagonist began flicking ice at the two from a left over champagne bucket. 

Continuing towards the exit he saw young Alain Delon preparing the table linen for the next day. They had never actually talked and he regretted it.  He had the sad feeling that they would've been really good friends. He could feel all of the missed opportunities he could’ve had with him - the little moments of laughter when work was dead, the absurd gossip tales at the employee lunch tables, the after work soirées that lasted until the early dawn. "In a different world" he thought to himself. He walked over and introduced himself. "What was your name?" he asked. "Robert" he replied. "Enchanté" Samuel said softly. "See you tomorrow" young Alain Delon said to him as he climbed up the stairs to the exit.

He had spent the past two weeks thinking about nothing but serving others. He was there at 8am and he was there closing at 2am. Lunch and dinner were provided to the staff so there was practically no reason to leave. It was a family. One that constantly fought, made fun of each other, flirted with each other. And now he was outside of it. Exiled. Walking back home he felt like it was all a lie he told himself to pass the time. All those relationships all of those moments simply inventions dissolving away.