#my friend is at the twice concert rn so I can’t scream to her

[ayoyoungg]

SCREAMING!! AND CRYING!!

ATBO covered B.A.P’s Warrior!! And it’s really good (as expected)!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #236

“so i asked you once, and i ask you again: where do your roots start, and where do your roots end?”

Do you wear a ring on your finger? Yeah, a Supernatural reference best friend one. Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? I mean, it depends on the kind of advice and the seriousness of the issue. I'd say in most cases, yes. What’re you listening to right now? "Angel Eyes" by New Years Day ft. Chris Motionless. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It has been, twice. I don't think I'll do it again because my glasses are just in the way and they come out and get lost too easily. Is your last ex still someone you care about and do you still have romantic feelings for your ex? Yes to both. My feelings towards her haven't changed at all, we just made a heavily-discussed, hard, but wise decision for the time being. Are you someone’s best friend? Sara. What’s the biggest annoyance in your life right now? Annoyance, ummm... oh, easy. Being poor as dirt. That's only slightly under my skin, y'know? Have you spoken to your mother today? Yeah, I live with her. When was the last time you cried and why? PTSD. It's started to become relevant again, jOY to THe WOrlD!!!!!1!!!1!!!!! Is there someone who makes you instantly smile when you receive a message from them? I mean I don't always smile, but I consistently do get excited. If someone loved you right now, would you want them to tell you? *confused screaming* Do you like to cuddle? If I'm seriously romantically into you, yes. Is any part of you sad at all? I think that's always going to be a thing for me, somewhere down in there. Do you like seafood? Only shrimp, and even that I don't like in some forms. Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah. Does more than one person like you? Idk. Do you ever worry that people might be talking about you behind your back? Always. Fuck, I think Sara's the only person I can count on to never. Do you call your partner ‘baby’? I hated it and never used it 'til Sara. I eventually did, and somehow, it felt okay and not disrespectful??? Idk if I'll use it again. What's the most boring guy’s name out there? Like, "Bob" or something. Do you know how to play Mahjong? Nope. Ever had a promise ring? No. What’s the biggest turn off in the opposite sex? Send me a dick pic and I will actually KICK you in the dick. Fun fact, even though I'm still bi, visually, penises gross me the fuck out and so I'd rather see someone's as little as possible, m'kay? Doing that is like a surefire way for me to decide "oh no bye boy." How often do you catch yourself daydreaming? A whole lot. This time last year, were you single? No. Who is someone you’ll always hate? The doctor that put me on a medication that put around 100 pounds on me and blamed it aaaaaall on me. :^) Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Yeah, just spelled differently. Who knows your biggest secret(s)? Sara. Do you ever read the threads on r/AskReddit? No. Are you currently stressed out about anything? You have no fucking idea. What’s your Instagram @? brittanymphotography or eldritch_obscura, depending on what kind of photography you're into. Don't have a personal one. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are you in love with anyone at the moment? It's so complicated. I think, but I also question the "in" love part. That and just "loving" are different to me. I want her, I want Jason, and here I am strictly monogamous. I barely understand what I feel romantically rn. If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in? UM fuck that I'm calling the cops. Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing? Not really. How would you react if a friend started dating your ex? When "ex" is used singularly, I always assume you want The Ex. So, regardless of friend, that'd feel weird, but with certain people/levels of friendship, less so than others. If you were in an emergency, which friend would you call first? So not family? Uhhh, I don't know. It depends on the kind of emergency. Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single? No. Other than that "someone who wasn't single" being my partner. Are you single? if no who are you dating and for how long? Not right now, no. What kind of music do you listen to? Tons of different forms of metal, rock, indie, and I'm even into some electro stuff now. Do you have any YouTube videos of yourself? Thank the merciful lord, not anymore. What’s your fave YouTube video? BIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHH the one featuring Dark in A Heist With Markiplier. I am not exaggerating my love of White Suit Dark. Use three words that best describe your best friend: Passionate, loyal, and resilient as a motherfucker. Now use three that best describe you: Also passionate, empathetic, and caring. List three things that describe your crush/love: Look I love someone but am also preoccupied with the idea of Jason coming back to me. It's not a "crush," it's being in love with a memory. I don't have a clue how to answer this rn. Is there someone in the family that no one really talks to? As far as extended family goes, yeah. Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? N/A What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? None; I have no games on it because my phone has incredibly small memory. Same. Are you close to someone who is mentally unwell? Well, define "unwell." I have a load of friends and family with mental disorders, but calling them "mentally unwell" seems too severe. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? Adopt, dude. There are so, SO many cats and dogs and I'm sure more that need a home, but you'd rather pay hundreds for a dog with likely some sort of health problem from extreme breeding than adopt an animal for a far cheaper price that ALREADY needs a family? Come on, now. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? I read Ozzy's autobiography. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? ???????????? no????????????? What name would you pick for yourself? Probably "Zoey." Do you enjoy going to live shows? Do concerts count? 'Cuz yeah. Who do you spend the most time with? My mom, I guess? She's the only one I live with, but she's like, never home because she works more than she breathes. What color do you wish your hair was? Natural hair, blonde. So much easier to dye, jc. Does any of the jewelry you wear have sentimental significance? The ring mentioned earlier, as well as the bracelet Sara also gave me. Who is your favorite drummer? Eh, no op Do you find musicians attractive? This is a dumb question... It depends on the musician??? If you could get any piercing, what would it be? I want a microdermal below/near the outer corner of my eye NOW. But I have glasses so it would totally ruin the purpose, ugh. Do you scream, yell, jump around and dance at shows or do you stand still? Just cheer, really. I wouldn't call it "screaming." I guess I can yell, too? Have you ever lost your voice from screaming so much? "No. I’ve had a sore throat." <<<< This. What’s your favorite color on the person you have feelings for? Both Sara and Jason, as well as like anyone, I love wearing black. Actually, Sara is super cute in light colors, like baby pink. Ugh talking about them at the same time feels fuckin weird. Who’s your favorite horror monster/killer? Alright, let's just say like, the "traditional" guys. I suppose Jason? His silence, totally casual pursuit, and mask creep me out, man. What kind of music do you prefer to listen to when driving? When I myself am driving, I don't want music on. I can't concentrate. Are you willing to board airplanes? I've gone up to see Sara like... three times within two years, I think? They don't scare me too much. I don't like takeoff, though. Too rocky and dizzying. Do looks really matter to you when it comes to friendship? ??????????? what?????????? the fuck??????????????? Do you accept friend requests from people you don’t know? Nope. I have to not only know you, but care more about you than like the average acquaintance of whatever. What is one of your best talents? Writing, I guess? Are/were you a rebellious youth or angsty teen? ha ha oh BOY Do you put your change in a jar for savings? No. How do you feel about transvestites? BITCH y'all great. I love you. Fuckin ROCK YA SHIT. Do you know anyone with a land line at their house? Yes, actually. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Certain kinds of daydreams. Have you been in a fist fight with someone you didn’t want to fight? I've never had a physical fight. Has anyone ever convinced you to do something you didn’t want to? Sure. Usually for my own benefit/growth, though. Are you a sensitive person? Yeah, quite a bit. Do you enjoy writing? Yep. Are you a germ-o-phobe? YEAH. Would you ever own a hairless rat, cat or dog? I would TOTALLY have a sphynx. There's this one breed of dog too and is furless on most places but does have some furry areas and are so ugly they're cute, and I once almost did adopt a hairless rat. So there's your answer. Do you prefer big, fluffy towels or normal sized/smaller towels? BIG FLUFF What is the image on your beach towel? Don't have one of those. Are you good with making eye contact? NO. I never know how long to maintain it and overthink it HEAVILY. I avoid it most of the time. What is your favorite book that was turned into a movie? Probably The Outsiders. I thought it did the book great justice. Do you like the movie or the book better? I don't remember either well enough. Do you watch porn? No. I don't want to watch some strangers bang each other. It's in no way arousing to me. What’s your favorite flavor of applesauce, if any? I guess just normal? Do you go to a firework show every 4th of July? Nah. Are you diabetic? No. Are you allergic to gluten? No. I don't think I'd survive. Are you lactose intolerant? No. Do you live with your parents? Just my mom. Parents are divorced and Mom had full custody, and my two sisters are proper adults that can survive without their mommy. :^) How much experience do you have written down on your resume, approximately? NOT A LOT!!!!!!!! I only count like, one damn job that was valid/lasted a couple months, but only because I very rarely worked. I also only include my previous online college, and should I create a resume now, obviously the one I currently attend. What’s your favorite song to dance to? I do not dance, my friend. What do you think of your parents? Both of them are great. Mom is the reason I'm (in the big picture) healthy, even alive. I WOULD be dead, died a long time ago, if it was not for that woman. Saved my life again and again and again, been there for me through both the same old shit and new madness. I'mma stop here before I actually cry just thinking about how thankful I am for her. Dad, too, I love, and I aspire to be as positive as he seems nowadays. His loyalty to my sisters and me, especially after the shit I've said, is incredible. He doesn't take a lot too seriously, and that's nice, especially when you're having a hard time. He's an optimistic guy now that always makes an effort to cheer you up. He's a total goof, too. He's just fun to be around. What do you think makes you attractive to other people? HA, fuck if I know. I guess my vertical lip labret stands out? Everyone I've dated since having it has at some point pointed out that that's like, my trademark that makes me recognizable right off the bat and that it looks good on me. One of the few things I even like on myself. Would more money make you happier? Look me right in the fucking eye and answer "no" to this. What is one of your favorite memories as a child? Watching my older sister play demo discs' video games after waking up. It's something so simple, but idk, I love remembering that. What’s your favorite kind of cake? Probably red velvet, like gd that shit good. Who is your favorite sports team? Idc. Like I have a natural fondness towards the Carolina Hurricanes 'cuz they're Dad's favorite and we've gone to some games together, but I really don't care. Who would you like to get to know better? I have this high school acquaintance named Courtlynn on my Facebook that seems so cool and relatable. She seems to like me too (not romantically, but she's really supportive, hearts like everything, comments the sweetest stuff sometimes, all that), I just think both of us are shy to reach out. What is the strangest food you ever ate? "I don’t eat anything I consider strange. I’m so picky and basic." <<<< Big 'ole fat same. What’s your favorite thing to order at a Chinese food restaurant? I exclusively only eat pork fried rice and/or egg rolls. Are you an organ donor? YES!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE BE ONE!!!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T NEED THEM ONCE UR DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!! THE LIVING DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE SOME LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What’s your favorite candle scent? FRESH BAKED BREAD MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What would you do if you found an abandoned animal? Check for identification and call if a number is given, offer it food and water, put a notification up on Facebook about a lost pet... all that stuff. We'd try to avoid a shelter, probably, because yeah. Euthanization is a thing. Have you ever kissed someone who had a tongue piercing? I am the one with the tongue piercing lmao. No. Is it easy for someone to make you cry? OH YES, QUITE. How many children can you see yourself having? IF I had kids, IF, I could not possibly imagine myself with more than two. What is your favorite PlayStation 1 game? SILENT HILL FUCK MAN I LOVE THAT SHIT. Are you competitive? Not really. Depends. Black and white or colored photos? It very much depends. Composition, lighting, content, all that contributes to what I find more aesthetically pleasing. Do you prefer to date younger, older, or the same age as you? Preferably around my age. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all? Being a depressed mess every waking moment of my life. Do you like ice cream cake? Not really. Do you wash your hair every day? No, every day is bad for your hair. Do you have trouble sticking to promises? Definitely not. I'm good at that. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Very briefly. She thought she was ready, but not quite. What kind of headphones do you have? Right now they're literally just flimsy hot pink earplugs from a dollar store lmao. How often do you go to parties? Never. Do you sleep in awkward positions? I don't think so. Do you experiment a lot with new looks on yourself? Not really. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Don't touch my tits with, like, anything. Do you ever quote your favorite movie in normal conversations? No? Do people ever tell you that you look stoned when you’re not? No. Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? *shrugs* why not both? Do hospitals freak you out? To a degree. Been there enough times to both get semi-used to it, but it also agitates old wounds and makes me antsy to get out. What about cemeteries at night? I've never experienced this, so I can't say. But the idea doesn't really creep me out, no. What is your favorite Nintendo 64 game? I never had one. Were you mean as a little kid? Nah, I was a good kid actually.

[b-ap]

[181117] B.A.P Forever Tour in Philadelphia - Highlight of my Life

This was really one of the best concerts I’ve ever gone to. Despite being skeptical of JSJ from the beginning, I was still willing to risk it and buy the tickets. I was debating for a while to drop $400 or not for m&g but when you think about it, it was only $30 per photo with each of the boys (+ a hat, hoodie, and whistle) so that’s HELLA worth it.  So I dropped nearly $600 for this concert but for real it was SO worth it. I was even willing to go down by bus all by myself and possibly wandering the streets of philly late at night for it but luckily was able to catch a ride! 

These two BABYz gave out numbers from the very beginning like they marked down if you were plat or baby package and in the end JSJ and fans actually honored them! It was really great cuz we were able to leave the line to go to the bathroom or get food! BABYz around me were so nice and friendly too ;u; When it was time to go in to soundcheck and for the concert, we all actually got in order! It was REALLY nice like wow thank you philly babyz!! We were let in a little late for soundcheck cuz apparently bap was doing some kind of interview?? As for soundcheck, it was sooOOOoooOOO good!!! They kinda mixed up plat and baby but oh well whatever I still got like 3rd row so *^* WOOHOO! The stage was up really high and the venue was quite small, but philly crowd’s passion was explosive and powerful!! At the beginning of soundcheck Zelo kept like peeking out from the backstage door *^* they were ODing the fog machine so you could only see silhouettes at the door sometimes OTL. Daehyun was the first to come out! He came in this big puffer jacket and had earphones and and was smiling so cutely!! That wonderful wonderful kitty smile!! OH MY HEART PLEASE HAVE MERCY!! And then the others came out! <3 Zelo was wearing like PJ pants lmao the same one he wore in that IG pic of him in the truck, jongup was wearing leather (i think.....), himchan wore the tour hoodie, and youngjae wore a long coat. BUT YEAH the first song they did was TMJ and the crowd was hella LIT!!! Like everyone was singing their lungs out and jumping and being really really excited! We all started jamming out hardcore at the very first note of TMJ and I just knew it was about to be epic. BAP was sooo happy!! They really enjoyed it as well!  And then they did DWIF and omfg daehyun was soooo cute cuz we were so loud during the OH!! part that he was like :O!!!!! and gave us two thumbs up!! The others were really happy too!! And then Zelo was controlling the crowd with his hands LOL like he was making us go side to side like a wave and then jongup was doing this weird dance too lmaooo we hyped up each other so much! It was soo much fun ;A; too bad we couldn’t record but JSJ got a ( video )~!! Like just listen to BABYz singing along at the beginning!! ( dh shocked at 0:41, thumbs up at 0:51)

We had to go back outside again after the concert and that’s when the line got a little messy since now there was also GA peeps and the sidewalk is only so big to fit like 3 different lines. But it worked out in the end and we got in order!! AND YA GIRL GOT FCKN 2ND ROW HEEEEEEEEELLLL YEAHH!! I had a GREAT view!! There was actually quite a lot of space and like NO pushing!! (except this one bishhhh but whatever that’s another story -.- i’ll delete her from my memory) But wow pit was fCKN great like wow the fanchants!! The whistles!! NO PUSHING!! LIKE WHAT WOOOW I LOVE YOU (this was an all standing venue btw). When we were waiting for the concert to start, they played a bunch of their songs and everyone was scream-singing the lyrics (well more like trying to LOL we can’t korean) We had our own bap concert with an empty stage lmaooo 

AND AHHHH BAP WAS SOOOO GOOD AT FANSERVICE!!! Himchan noticed me like several times i fucking cRy!! He looked and waved at mee TWICE and like gestured to focus on zelo for recording and taking pics when it was his part AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Like last year he saw me struggling in pit (cuz that was HELL) and looked worried I CRY and he smiled at me too huuuhuuu himchan youre a fckn angel I LOVE YOU!!! I made a half heart at daehyun and hE FCKN COMPLETED IT I WAS ABOUT TO FCKN DIE RIGHT THEN AND THERE LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! JOngup threw so many hearts and kisses at the crowd and youngjae blew so many kisses!! They were waving as much as possible to fans and daehyun, bless his heart, kept saying thank you!!thank you!! at any chance he could get!

During Q&A, bap spent the longest time arguing about harry potter houses pmsl and then yj was just like idk i never watched it (shame on you bro) and then himchan was like EXPECTRO PATRONUM!! (nerrRRRddddd). Jongup said he was fckn Dobby like bruH thats not even a house!!! YJ was like forget this!! and said, “PASS!!” Himchan said that he was Slytherin and then jongup said that Himchan would be fkcn Snape and did this dramatic coat sweeping straightening up his back thing LOL so himchan said Jongup would be a muggle pmsl Zelo did like a broom riding imitation??? irdk.... Next question was what was your favorite song that you’ve ever made. Jongup answered Photo and sang a little of it (so then where is the studio version biiSHHHhh) but lol BABYz were like SEXY CLAP!!!!!! Youngjae pulled out a question, looked at it and was like NOPE! and put it back pmsl! The next question was what tricks can Mochii do and then youngjae was frckn like body slamming zelo and jongup lmaooo. Zelo was sooooo cute he was telling the story of how Mochii bit in all in English!! He said how he was eating and was struggling to explain that Mochii was under the table so BABYz were helping him! He said that he dropped cheese and then Mochii went to eat it but Zelo tried to stop him. Mochii bit and and then Zelo was like “ooh! bloood! my dog is ...wildlife” but the way he said blood was soo cute like the oo in moon instead of “blud”  This sweet precious boy!! His English was so good!!!! The next question was to sing happy birthday to a BABY named Jenny (wow you LUCKY girl im sooo jelly omfg). So Zelo sings her hbd really dramatically lmao and they give her their sweaty towel and Zelo gave her a water bottle too!! They’re so sweet!!!!!!! 

During their other talk segment, Youngjae was like since our tour in america, philly has been the most passionate! So we all SCREAMED and cheered like crazy! Daehyun was like hold up!! AGAIN! and went to grab a phone. He made us all scream and cheer again so he could record it. The boys kept gesturing to scream louder and more and were totally enjoying the cheers! I hope we conveyed our love for them well enough!! Also Daehyun release that footage soon pls!!! He told us we did a good job screaming lmaoo! Youngjae kept making sounds for us to repeat lmao like ooOOoooo (idk how to describe it LOL) and then was like “maestro!” when trying to silence us with his fingers like a conductor LOL but we kept screaming things LOL someone was like “this is my first kpop concert!!” so youngjae was like “sounds good!�� and gave a thumbs up. Jongup also did the conductor thing hahahah Daehyun promised to come back again next year and I REALLY REALLY hope that they do!!!! 

The solos were beyond amazing. Like rewatching youngjae and daehyun’s solos made me tear up like how do such beautiful voices exist in this world? Did I really hear those ethereal voices in real life? It was sooo mesmerizing and breathtaking! Youngjae’s gorgeous baritone voice singing that smooth ballad huuuhuuu my heEArt!!! Daehyun’s heartwrenchingly beautiful voice, song, and lyrics wow let me just lie down and drown in my tears rn bYE! DaeUp’s duet was so cool, Jongup’s TML was perfect as usual, Zelo’s solo was sinful oh my those hip and that peach *blushes* it was suuuper fun and Zelo enjoyed it a LOT too!!! He lifted up his shirt!! 

THEN IT WAS M&G TIME!!! They set up the background right in front of the stage. We lined up to go in and bap was standing like: jongup, youngjae, daehyun, himchan, zelo! It was plat individual photos first, then baby group + hi-touch, then plat group + hi-touch. BABYz really went for it!! Like a lot of us got hugs! We were able to watch the whole m&g but they didnt let us have our phones out ;A; (and I also had used up all 6.5 GB of space on my phone OTL) BAP were SOOOOOOOO sweet UGH we stan literal ANGELS!! They love BABYz so fricken much!! JSJ was sooo nice to allow a lot of fan interactions AHHHHHHHH BAP did a lot of cute poses and played around with BABYz! LEt mE TELL YOU THAT BAP IS SERIOUSLY SOOOO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL, HANDSOME, GORGEOUS, STUNNING, MESMERIZING, UP CLOSE HOW DID MY HEART EVEN SURVIVE?????? I GOT TO BEAR HUG EVERYONEEEE THEYRE ALL SO TALL AND IM HELLA SMOL SO THEY HAD TO SQUAT DOWN FOR ME HUUHUU THYE LIKE PATTED MY BACK DURING THE HUGS TOO AHHHHHH WE HAD A DECENT AMOUNT OF TIME WITH ALL OF THEM!!! I TOLD DAEHYUN I SAW HIM IN KOREA IN ASU AND HE WAS LIKE OOOOOH THANK YOU!!! CURSES TO MY TINY AF VOICE CUZ I DONT THINK THEY ALL EVEN REALLY HEARD WHAT I SAID SOMETIMES!!! I told Zelo he was too tall for me lmaooo I really wanna see how much he had to bend down for me! I seriously wished that my m&g was recorded but :((((((((((( After my m&g I legit squealed and hugged my friend lmao but the staff yelled at us for being too loud LMAO BUT GIRL WE JUST HUGGED FCKN KINGS LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We tried to contain ourselves as much as possible LOL Daehyun said thank you out loud to a lot of BABYz after their m&g! Zelo kept dabbing at BABYz lmaooo a lot of them didnt notice tho cuz he would do it after they had already passed him HAHAHA when it was my hi-touch I dabbed at Zelo hahah and he dabbed back :D I wanted to get a group hug from them but i got too excited and FUCKING FORGOT to ask for a group hug *kicks myself* Now I wish I had written my name on a name tag (like “HI I’M JUNIE”) and hope they wouldve said “HI JUNIE”  but I didnt OTL 

I really wish I could relive the whole day. I wish I was able to record my m&g and got a group hug or them to say my name or I had said something more to them but it’s ok my heart is very very happy and I love bap soo much. My 7 year love for them continues and I will really love them forever. Let’s meet again soon, my loves! I’m looking forward to then~! 

[jakganim]

92 truths

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag people!

tagged by my smol child @artist-aroha​

if you have a lot of time on your hands, this is the post for you :’)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: hot water 2. Phone call: called my dad to pick me up from a train station lmao 3. Text Message: “home~ good night get home safe!” @ my manager LOL 4. Song you listened to: love don’t hurt (feat. amber) - shannon 5. Time you cried: i cry easily but usually it’s just like me tearing up and shit but i don’t like straight up bawl that often. last time i teared up was literally two hours ago while driving home i was singing this song at the top of my lungs and it reminded me of some sad times LMAO. last time i cRIED like really cried. i can’t remember. but no more than a few months ago.

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: sort of? idk if it counts, we were like 14...  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. Been cheated on: yeah??? it’s the same guy from when i was 14. it was a weird time ok LOL 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLOURS:

12-14. pastel yellow (or well just yellow in general), peach, anddddd maybe sky blue?

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yes :’)) and i love them very much. 16. Fallen out of love: no lmao didn’t exactly fall in love so i meannn 17. Laughed until you cried: heck yeah :’) 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah 19. Met someone who changed you: everyone i meet affects me in some way. but it’s rare to find someone who significantly changes me. i’d say i’ve found people who are at that halfway point. they’ve truly made an impact on me. but i do not feel as though i have changed in any huge way. 20. Found out who your friends are: well. i’ve known who my friends are. but sometimes i get to rediscover. so yes. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: if by fb list you mean like my friend list then yes.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them. 23. Do you have any pets: yes a dog and her name is brody and i love her very much 24. Do you want to change your name: my name isn’t legally jordan. so technically yes. but i only go by jordan so would i change my name to something other than jordan? no. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: i held a semi awkward party at my house bcos my parents were adamant about inviting my cousins and my family friends to the same gathering and they’re two very different groups of people so i find it difficult to cater to them both at once. but it was a good time nevertheless. 26. What time did you wake up: around 9:30 ish. but i slept again and didn’t get out of bed til noon. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: trying to sleep 28. Name something you can’t wait for: astro’s next comeback. 29. When was the last time you saw your mum: today 30. What is the one thing you wish you could change in your life: i don’t know if there’s anything i’d really want to change. unless that includes just being able to attain the things that i want. 31. What are you listening to right now: the rain 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: lmao yes i have a friend named tom. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: spanish 1002 34. Most visited Website: idk maybe youtube, maybe tumblr

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN A RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME: 35. Mole/s: nope 36. Mark/s: i have lots of random tiny birthmarks and i also have freckles lol. most noticeable mark is a little one on my upper lip and another lil one on my left thigh. 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a singer, a musician, an artist. i wanted to be talented and have what it took to showcase it. it’s not much but, in a way, i’m living that out now in my a cappella group. i may never be a kpop star or whatever, but i still get to perform and that’s enough now i guess. 38. Haircolour: just my natural dark hair. basically black. 39: Long or short hair: short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: i don’t think so lmao 41. What do you like about yourself: my resilience. 42. Piercings: 7 43. Bloodtype: i still don’t know, can you fuckin believe. i need to go get a blood test done just for health purposes like good lord. 44. Nickname: my brother calls me gowanus. it’s complicated LOL 45. Relationship status: single 46. Zodiac: pisces 47. Pronouns: they/them (but i also don’t care if you use he/him or she/her) 48. Favorite TV Show: ok but... the last airbender... LOL ok but if we’re not talking cartoons i’m gonna go with classic friends or how i met your mother 49. Tattoos: 1 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: brown, dark red, blue streak. 53. Sport: i was on the swim team once but don’t be mistaken, i was doing it for fun i’m a slow swimmer i never competed at meets i just went to scream my voice away and cheer for my team. but i liked soccer?  56. Pair of trainers: is this a yes or no question?

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing rn 58: Drinking: nothing rn 59. I’m about to: go the fuck to sleep 60. Waiting for: this semester to be over already 61. Want: to do what i love for a living 62. Get married: depends 63. Career: if i get what i want i’ll be into event production/concert touring

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: i don’t really care but i like being the same height or taller than the other person 68. Older or younger: doesn’t matter 69. it’s honestly an incredibly inefficient position imo, would not do 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: idk? i don’t really have a preference 71. Sensitive or loud: both, because i’m both and they gotta be able to keep up. 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: in the middle

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: yeah 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: yeah 78. Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah 80. Had your heart broken: yeah 81: Been arrested: nope 82: Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: yeah 85. Miracles: yeah 86. Love at first sight: err no? i believe in attraction at first sight lmao 87. Santa Claus: nope 88. Kiss on the first date: idk, it’s not really my thing but in terms of whether i “believe in” it or not, i literally don’t fucking care LOL 89. Angels: nope

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: julia 91. Eye color: light brown 92. Favorite movie: idk if i have ONE favorite movie ya know? but i always enjoy watching tangled and how to train your dragon. they make me laugh :’)

tagging: whoever the fuck wants to sit through 92 of these fucking questions i kind of wish i just went to bed but no, so now congrats to my followers for knowing 92 more useless things about me :’)))

[decaynow]

∞

SHDHDHHSHD DOES THIS MEAN YOU WANT ME TO ANSWER WHICHEVER ONES I WANT OR ALL OF THEM??? Fuck it, I’m done with stuff at this job so. I’ll do them all. Why not

1. What is you middle name?

Gerard

2. How old are you?

20

3. When is your birthday?

June 20th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

Geminiii

5. What is your favorite color?

RED but i also love black

6. What’s your lucky number?

6!!! I like this question’s placement. 6 because Grimmjow but also because HAIL SATAN 666 AAAAAA

7. Do you have any pets?

I have a lil’ black pitbull named Trixie!!!

8. Where are you from?

Georgia the state

9. How tall are you?

5’3

10. What shoe size are you?

uhhh i actually do not know my size in men’s I think it’s like a 5??? Technically in women’s I’m a 7.5 but I tend to buy a half size up A. because doc martens doesn’t do half sizes and B. i dont really like for my shoes to be tight

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

... a lot. I have a shoe fetish ngl.

12. What was your last dream about?

I think I had a dream last night..? About Invader Zim maybe???

13. What talents do you have?

I CAN SING LIKE ANY TWENTY ONE PILOTS SONG, i can touch my tongue to my nose, I have a pretty decent Kermit the frog impression, and I have other weird flexes but I cant remember them rn because my memory sucks

14. Are you psychic in any way?

Idk, sometimes I can predict what song will play next but I think I’m just lucky.

15. Favorite song?

Hhh this is so hard to answer bc I wanna pick something metal but tbh... Holding On To You by Twenty One Pilots

16. Favorite movie?

Either Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron (I know the whole movie by heart and all the songs)

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

HBNGFHBB,, i dont know I thirst after many celebrities and fictional characters and they’re all kind of different. I guess someone who won’t make me be someone I’m not. Obviously my lack of adult qualities probably isn’t endearing but idk, someone who’s willing to let me be a lil’ childish. I’d like someone who takes the reigns when it comes to adult stuff, I wanna be a stay at home dad and manage our place and kids or pets and stuff. I like kinda being left to my own devices. That will include me constantly wanting to be in ur space LOL

18. Do you want children?

YEAH... REALLY BADLY... but idk if I’ll ever get to have any bc I dont think anyone would want to date me and marry me and have them LMAO so I dont think I should be trying ever

19. Do you want a church wedding?

My ideal wedding is in a graveyard, on October 31st, at sundown, we are being married on an altar of black candles and jack-o-lanters, the autumn colours are flourishing, and I am carried out to the walkway down to the altar in a casket. Everyone is required to wear black except for our bestmen/bridesmaids and me or whoever I marry. If they aren’t dressed like it’s a funeral I’m kicking them out. Deadass. I want the gothest wedding imaginable.

20. Are you religious?

I do kinda believe in stuff but I’m not a fan of organized religion. I mean, I’m a fan as in, the aesthetic and idea of organized religion is majorly sexy, but i feel like religion is really personal and not a public thing for me. Also 666 hail sa-

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Nope!!! Never broken a bone or had any kind of emergency LOL

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

ONCE I GOT PULLED OVER FOR ROLLING THRU A STOP SIGN AND I CRIED

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

I’VE MET HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD TWICE!!! And I’ve met Norman Reedus too. I also went to school with Chandler Riggs (not to put my location on blast HDYDUFHDGDGDD) uhhh I can’t think of anyone else if I have I’d probAOH. Shannon whatever her name is from Stranger Things. She was at my last TØP concert and I asked her for a picture bc my friends were too shy to say anything but since idk her i didnt care LOL

24. Baths or showers?

I like both but I take showers more often

25. What color socks are you wearing?

One is The Scream by Edvard Munch and one is The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

26. Have you ever been famous?

Not like BIG famous but like, people in my school all knew me basically because I was always Doing Shit

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

Maybe??? Part of me doesnt want all my shit on blast but at the same time idgaf

28. What type of music do you like?

E... everything... i lean towards punk, pop punk, rock, metal, alternative and whatever but i will literally go from Hannah Montana to Dethklok to Twenty One Pilots to Ghost to Katy Perry don’t test me

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

NO and idk if i want to i dont like to be naked

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

I have 7 but i usually have 8. I like a lot of pillows. I want more.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

... ur asking an active sleeper that question. I don’t even know what position i wake up in.

32. How big is your house?

Normal sized I guess???

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

I DONT EAT IT BECAUSE I DONT WAKE UP IN THE MORNING

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

I think my dad let me once when I was a kid but that’s because he’s a bad father

35. Have you ever tried archery?

YEAH i sucked at it but in my head i imagine being good at it lol

36. Favorite clean word?

Salutations, Shenanigans or Hold

37. Favorite swear word?

hmmm would go with your classic fuck but tbh i LOVE to lengthen it to motherfucker. Think in terms of most used though, God Damnit.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Maybe two days?

39. Do you have any scars?

:/ I have a lot. Some are from me being dumb (the scar on my leg from melting tape) and some are from me being really dumb (scars on my wrist and arm and thigh) but I’m not ashamed of them, in fact I like scars and bruises. I just hate when people randomly ask about them in person (ie “omg what happened!?!?”) because it’s like... self harm scars are pretty obvious about what’s going on so when you ask like that... idk wtf to say.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

PROBABLY??? But im oblivious.

41. Are you a good liar?

Hhjfguvghhh maybe sometimes??? I try not to lie though and i think its impossible bc im a gemini so there’s a little truth in everything I say

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO IM STUPID

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

NOOOOOOO i can do Kermit the Frog and thats it

44. Do you have a strong accent?

I’m southern so yes

45. What is your favorite accent?

I LOVE YOU SWEDISH PEOPLE... also love irish accents but also i cant understand anything bc my ears are stupid

46. What is your personality type?

Rambunctious

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I have a $100 Ghost hoodie but I think my Big Boots were $148

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Yas

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

Inward belly buttons or perish

50. Left or right handed?

LEFT LEFT LEFT

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Hmhnghhhhnnnn depends, usually

52. Favorite food?

PASTAAA

53. Favorite foreign food?

I fucking LOVE udon

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I am a messy person doing my absolute best to be clean

55. Most used phrased?

like ever? I start most sentences with “you know what i hate?” But mostly i tend to parrot memes. If I think something is funny I repeat it to myself over and over until it isn’t.

56. Most used word?

Probably “I” because I cant ever stop talking about my damn self

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

... i dont wanna talk about it (a while)

58. Do you have much of an ego?

... I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT (i simultaneuosly... hate myself but also think im the best)

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

SUCK WHO IS BITING THEM???

60. Do you talk to yourself?

SO FUCKING MUCH

61. Do you sing to yourself?

OBVIOUSLY

62. Are you a good singer?

... no but it doesnt stop me

63. Biggest Fear?

I HATE MIRRORS I HATE BATHROOM MIRRORS IN THE DARK THAT STUPID FUCKING CHANT I HATE IT I CANT SAY IT EVER ITS MY FEAR

64. Are you a gossip?

I dont want to be but I’m a gemini so it just HAPPENS

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

Man i dont even know just go watch Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I prefer to have mine long but i kinda wanna cut it, i LOOOVE guys with long hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Oh definitely Not

68. Favorite school subject?

ART or biology

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

Nope!

71. What makes you nervous?

LOTS OF SHIT GOD BUT I HATE DOING A BAD JOB OR MAKING MISTAKES

72. Are you scared of the dark?

Sometimes, it just depends

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

Hhhffudhdhhh only if I know I wont come off condescending

74. Are you ticklish?

YEAH BUT DONT TICKLE ME I KICKED MY CHUCKLEFUCK EX IN THE DICK ONCE FOR TICKLING ME, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT BUT U SHOULD STILL BE WARNED

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Dont think so

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Sometimes I told groups in school to just let me do all the work because I didn’t trust them with my grade.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

... like a few days ago but tbh alcohol is disgusting and i only wanna drink banana liquor or else i dont drink at all bc its gross

78. Have you ever done drugs?

I desperately wish i had more drugs in my life but i dont wanna come off as a crackhead

79. Who was your first real crush?

EITHER SPIDER-MAN OR YUGI MUTO

80. How many piercings do you have?

I WISH I HAD MY NIPPLE PIERCED SO BADLY... also if i HAD A DICK god nerf’d me I WOULD GET PIERCINGS UP MY DICK... also my (expensive) dream is to get like subdermal/metadermal? implants on my forehead and get devil horns

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

Yep

82. How fast can you type?

I type... so fast

83. How fast can you run?

Maybe kinda fast but not for long

84. What color is your hair?

Naturally its brown but the bottom half is bleached and one side is yellow and the other is green

85. What color is your eyes?

Bluuue

86. What are you allergic to?

FIRE ANT BITES AND AMOXICILLIN AND I HAVE HAD HORRIBLE EXPERIENCES WITH BOTH

87. Do you keep a journal?

Kind of??? I have a poetry journal and I write dreams down sometimes.

88. What do your parents do?

My mom does like marketing and my dad does carpet cleaning

89. Do you like your age?

No I wanted to die at 12 and I wanna die now. The difference is I didn’t think I’d live this long so now I have no idea what I’m doing.

90. What makes you angry?

FUCKING EVERYTHING IF YOU DATE ME OR BEFRIEND ME YOU NEED TO KNOW I WILL RAGE ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING AND U CANNOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN LEST I FOAM AT THE MOUTH

91. Do you like your own name?

YEAH I PICKED IT!!! But i also wanna change it but i kinda cant bc Johnny from HU called me Reimond and they all know me as Reimond. But also I wanna be Lucifer Slade Solo.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

TOBIAS JEREMY AND EMELE CECILIA

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

I’d be fine with either but tbh!!! Probably a boy.

94. What are you strengths?

HDHDUFHHH,, I NEVER TRULY GIVE UP I JUST GET ANGRIER. I’M INDEFATIGABLE

95. What are your weaknesses?

yelling. if you yell at me i will get upset. if im yelling its fine but if you yell i’ll cry. also roaches.

96. How did you get your name?

Well i consider Reimond the “masculine” version of my deadname!!! Technically there’s Racheal but it’d just get pronounced the same and I still have to correct people on Reimond (EVERYONE KEEPS THINKING IM SAYING RAYMAN) and Gerard is my middle name bc MCR, and I would love to change my last name lol.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

Not that I know of

98. Do you have any scars?

U ASKED THIS ALREADY

99. Color of your bedspread?

I have Star Wars sheets with Kylo Ren and storm troopers! I also have Spider-Man sheets.

100. Color of your room?

It’s like painted like a beige colour but most of my stuff is dark lol

[spring-gay]

rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

I was tagged by @mellifluous-yoongi ty ricey

THE LAST

1. drink: coke 2. phone call: idk I dont really call people so I guess my mom?? 3. text message: my friend from kindergarten 4. song you listened to: We The Kings - Check Yes Juliet (gdi kiku its not 2k10) 5. time you cried: Today in the car because I still miss my ex lmao 6. dated someone twice: yea, regretted it 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. been cheated on: yep, many times >.> 9. lost someone special: ,,,yep 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nope but sometimes I wish I could

3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. pastel pink 13. pastel blue 14. pastel purple

(ya I like pastels alot lmao im a pastel blog after all)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yep 16. fallen out of love: ??kinda but not really 17. laughed until you cried: yep (I blame the fam chat) 18. found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. met someone who changed you: yeah 20. found out who your friends are: yes (mainly gays) 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: I mean I got smooched but didnt kiss back but I did kiss my friends but not on the lips GENERAL 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: maybe like 30 23. do you have any pets: I had a dog but now I only have my friends lmao 24. do you want to change your name: ya I dont really like my first name 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I went out with friends for pizza and then had cake at home 26. what time did you wake up: around 10 or 12 on free days and 6 when I have school 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: yeeting over gay smut lmao 28. name something you can’t wait for: school I guess?? more like the happy times when Ill be moved out of here with my hair dyed and a cat 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: shes screaming at me rn 31. what are you listening to right now: moms screaming?? and Big Bang - Zutter 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I call my friend Thomas so I guess??? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: people in general 34. most visited website: Tumblr and AO3 and probably Discord 35. hair colour: brown/light brown 36. long or short hair: long as shite 37. do you have a crush on someone: yep but she doesnt want me lmao 38. what do you like about yourself: My eyes are pretty?? and I can lowkey play the piano so thats nice 39. piercings: earrings?? and thats all but i wanna get one in my bottom lip 40. blood type: dunno 41. nickname: Kiku, Bitch, Tosiek (but no one calls me that anymore) and kara 42. relationship status: single [sad noise] 43. zodiac: taurus 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: I dont really watch TV but if were counting anime in then BNHA and Soul Eater 46. tattoos: mom would never let me get one +theyre expensive but i want one sobs 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: nope but I might be getting eye surgery in few years 50. sport: I suck at most things but I guess volleyball 51. vacation: I just came back from the sea and maybe Ill be going in the mountains next month 52. pair of trainers: my black nikes and those one sneakers I painted when I was still in my Homestuck phase

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: a plastic straw for bracelets lmao chewy 54. drinking: mtn dew 55. I’m about to: go eat dinner and then probably go study 56. waiting for: my new phone to arrive 57. want: bts concert tickets for a concert near me [sobs from europe]         58. get married: sure?? 59. career: probably web designer or game producer

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: I mean hugs are super rad but have you ever kissed a girl (yeah me neither) 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: smol!!girls!!super super cute and hugable 63. older or younger: I dont really care lmao 64. nice arms or nice stomach: idc?? but a stomach I guess but abs are meh 65. hook up or relationship: relationship I guess but what do I know lmao I’m like 16 66. troublemaker or hesitant: mostly hesitant [alien]

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: nope 68. drank hard liquor: sadly 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I almost lost a contact lens once 70. turned someone down: pff no one wants me 71. sex on the first date: depends??? 72. broken someone’s heart: I think?? dunno Im an ass n she was annoying 73. had your heart broken: yep 74. been arrested: no and I hope never will Im a good citizen lmao 75. cried when someone died: yep 76. fallen for a friend: 4 years ago and she still doesnt want me lmaO my life is a joke

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: sometimes 78. miracles: my existence is a miracle bc wow I didnt kill myself yet?? suprising 79. love at first sight: sure 80. santa claus: not really? 81. kiss on the first date: I mean sure if I known her before 82. angels: yes

OTHER: 84. eye colour: blue 85. favourite movie: the Free movie and Legions Of The Black and probably my neighbor Totoro

I tag @soft-milk-child @mochimistress @oneofthewolfchildren @stammi-ravioli @nam-nam-joon @anyone else who wants to do this

[butterflyonthewall]

I'm Sorry

- I fall off the radar for days, weeks, even months at a time but I still love you. I’m a ‘lone wolf’ and when I get overwhelmed I need to be alone and calm myself down. If I try to talk to someone they’ll just try to give me answers or compare it to what they’ve experienced but I honestly don’t give a flying fuck, I just need you to listen sometimes just so I can get my thoughts out. My problems don’t just have simple answers so stop trying to give me them. I’ve tried everything you can even imagine.

I don’t want to go out every weekend because 1) I do NOT have the money, 2) I will NOT let you pay for me because then I’ll feel hella guilty and wanna pay you back when i know I can’t, 3) socializing for one day can drain all that’s inside of me for weeks.. idk why but I. Just. Can’t.

- I am ashamed of where I live and how I live. I don’t invite people over because I’m embarrassed beyond recognition on the shitty lifestyle I have. I live in my grandfathers bazillion year-old house that’s stuffed to the brim with his junk since he’s a fucking hoarder. My bedroom is smaller than the bathrooms at school and my bed takes up half the space, and it has little to no storage so what stuff I actually have is sprawled everywhere. The rest of my house is crawling with almost 20 fucking cats cuz they’re all getting knocked up and my mother is ‘waiting for a call from a no kill shelter that is only open on Saturdays’ so we are stuck with them, and since we have so many cats they are shitting and pissing EVERYWHERE and I can’t step one inch out of my room without puddles of urine or cat shit. No matter how many times we clean it all up they just keep going to the bathroom EVERYWHERE.Then to add to the stress of hating the house, the only memories I have here are 1) carrying my six year old 140lb dying dog up the stairs at 3am to then bring him to the vet where he died 2) getting diagnosed with depression and anxiety and struggling with therapy and getting meds sorted out 3) my baby sister attempting suicide TWICE 4) the same sister walking into the room crying and saying her best friend killed himself and then hearing her gut-wrenching wailing and screaming for days in misery 5) losing not one but two of my best friends (which I don’t have many of because I have a very select group of friends since I don’t social well duh) 6) DCF constantly being called on us cuz the nosy spoiled rotten people in this rich town think we’re fucked up when honestly we’re just going through rough times (which apparently they’ve never been through one cuz why tf would rich white people struggle in America ??) 7) my mother getting into a car accident and breaking her back and being on crazy meds (which she is off now and things are better with her but still SCARY TIMES)

- I don’t know what a true friendship is like. I’ve always been the weird loner kid no one talked to so idk how to talk to people. Idk what a friendship is idk what my boundaries are idk what to do when you’re upset since I’m not used to physical touch by people since no one ever hung out with me to do it idk how to read social cues.. I don’t know what to do.

- I tell my mom everything. Even if you told me in confidence I’ll still tell her cuz I look to her to help me show me what to do. She gives me advice and always has my back. She would never tell anyone tho, not even your parents. If you are in trouble my mom and I will be your savior and if you don’t want your parents knowing anything then we won’t say a word. Hell, we’ll lie for you. My mom does this because her mom did the same thing and my mom knows what it’s like to need a safe place so she made one herself for anyone who needs it. I’m sorry if you don’t like me telling her stuff but she is my rock.

- I don’t do sports because as a kid my anxiety disorder kept me from joins teams and I was so scared for people to judge me if I wasn’t good so I never tried. I honestly would love to do sports but I’m just so scared because I was always to anxious to even try so I’m so bad rn that I’m below even Beginners Level..

- I love food. I love homemade meals.. With all the shit going on nobody has really cooked so we all just get cheap food from Walgreens and McDonald’s. But I truly LOVE vegetables and fruits and Mexican food and Chinese and some Italian foods and Japanese foods.

- I’m so jealous. I want to have the money to get cute clothes, even just some Nike leggings or adidas sneakers. I want s credit cards and be able to go shopping and do YouTube and stuff but I’m stuck where I am since my family’s priority rn is mental health and my sister. I wanna go to concerts and go on adventures but everything cuz at least a little bit of money but I don’t have ANY.

- I feel ugly. Some people will compliment me but ik you’re just saying that to make me feel better. Hell, I’ve done it. I’ve been called ugly and I remember in the 4th grade there was this new girl who thought I was a boy cuz of my deep voice and short hair, people would make fun of my hair and crooked teeth, and people even tricked me into believing this cute popular guy was into me but it was just a cruel joke, people tell me that nobody likes me cuz I’m weird and annoying, and there’s much more. But what really pisses me off is that my best friend is fucking gorgeous but she doesn’t see it which completely baffles me like wtf your eyes are so bright and your long beautiful eyelashes frame the perfectly and you have hella fine cheekbones and strong jawlines and killer smile and perfect nose while I have a flat face with no cheekbones and a big nose and short eyelashes and red splotches and dry patches and ugh.:

I’m sorry this is who I am.