#my first ever complete inktober babyyyyyyyy

[blametheeditor]

Inktober Day 28: Crispy

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Warnings: Cursing. Treating people as pets. Mentions of treating people as lesser than. Someone being a Karen (not respecting workers).

Crispy: bacon

It was either a sequel to ‘sour’, or ‘splat’, and ‘splat’ won because it just makes sense

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David nearly turns right back around as his human points enthusiastically at a run-down, cheap dinner. This is what he traded for a steak au poivre.

“You have to order a burger, fry, and shake. Dipping the fries into the shake is heaven, but their ‘secret sauce’ is amazing. I haven’t even been able to successfully recreate it!”

Fritz looks up to see if the offered destination equates to the wonderful meal David stupidly chose to negate just to stop the pest from bitching. It causes his human to immediately fall silent, allowing the giant to question his life choices in peace.

Being honest with himself, he wants to walk straight back to his favorite restaurant, leave Fritz outside to wait for him there, and personally apologize to the chef he was a dumbass listening to a human.

Looking at a place that will guarantee give everyone who eats there food poisoning, his human should be thanking him he gets to sit in such a high-end place. Should be begging to be taken there and adore having the giant care so much about him to have a harness to keep him safe.

No. He has a complete and utter dumbass.

“You can have whatever you want,” David growls. “I’ll be watching you regret everything before promising you’ll never complain about how you’re treated again.”

He can see the miniscule mouth opening for some kind of retort, making sure any sound is unable to be heard by opening the rusted door, scowling at the bell announcing his arrival.

“Welcome! How many are we seating?”

David forces himself to grin widely at the woman acting like she’s been electrocuted. “One.”

He expects her to immediately lead him to a table. You know. Do her job. Instead, she stands there, staring down at his-

Oh. Right.

“Hi sweetheart,” she waves, and of course Fritz happily waves back.

“Hey Melony!”

…wait what?

“You know him?” David demands, refusing to look down at his charge. He knows his human doesn’t know who the right people to socialize with are, but it’s clear a woman enjoying her shitty job at a dump like this doesn’t deserve the time of day.

Melony smiles widely. “He comes in every Monday morning!”

“For the ‘Eggs Benedict’ special,” Fritz murmurs.

David stares. “You willingly hang out with Eggs.”

“The kid’s a riot,” Melony laughs. “Those two coming in makes sure the rest of the week is worth while.”

The business man doesn’t respond and /finally/ he’s led to a table. Fritz is spilled onto the table, needing a /lecture/ about how he’s never going to even look at Eggs ever-!

“You like your coffee black, hun?”

“Yes- coffee?”

David’s torn away from putting his human in its place, unable to help himself staring at Melony pours a steaming mug of fresh brewed coffee. There’s genuine affection in the ‘thank you’ he sends to her back after saying she’ll let them look over the menu.

Hazel eyes glance out the window, confirming it’s pitch black outside.

“Diners always have coffee ready,” Fritz pipes up. The tiny thing shifts nervously at the look for him to continue. “It’s also why I wanted to suggest it. If anything, at least there’s coffee.”

The giant nods slowly, taking a tentative drink, expecting the beverage to taste absolutely disgusting. And while it’s certainly not French press, it’s not the dollar store brand either.

His human watches him hopefully, David scowling to say coffee doesn’t make it worth missing out on perfectly cultivated dinning in a five-star restaurant...but he’ll take it. As long as the human sized table and chairs are able to be moved away so he doesn’t need to hear the annoying ‘yum!’ once food is ordered.

Good news, he’s easily able to hide the damned thing behind the napkin dispenser.

Fritz watches him with what seems to be despair, not making a move to sit down after the last chair has been moved to join the rest of the setup. “I really do appreciate you taking me here.”

“Don’t get used to it,” is all that’s said over his mug.

David’s left in blissful silent for a full minute. Up until their wonderful waitress appears. “So, the usual sweetheart?”

There’s no response, the giant finally giving his attention to realize his human is looking up at him. Not only that, but Melony is glaring. At the business man.

“The usual.”

David stares as she disappears, turning toward Fritz. “Care to explain.”

“I don’t have any money, and Eggs always paid for both of us. I wanted to make sure you were okay with my ordering all of that.”

“What about the death glare?”

Fritz winces. “Well, as you can see, this is a giant and human diner.”

“Spit it out.”

“She doesn’t like you treating me as a pet.”

That’s a first. Every giant David’s ever spoken to agrees with his stance on humans actually being beneath pets. Pests. He’s not including the guards, either, not with how he’s forced to interact with the brainwashed giants thinking humans should be treated equal.

This is why he never gets close to the border. The deep into the giant district, the better.

Fritz doesn’t say anything about the business man’s lack of a reply. His human knows his place even with such a generous treat. His only treat.

David’s content typing away on his phone as the tiny thing finally banishes himself to the hidden table like he should’ve done at the beginning, wanting this night to be-

“Where’s that cute little face!”

Before he can react, Fritz’s chair is moved back into the open, a giant grin plastered on his human’s face from the sudden ride. The table then follows, and human sized portions of a burger, fries, and a shake are placed onto the small platform.

And to top it all off, David gets a giant’s portion of an eggs benedict, complete with a side of hashbrowns and bacon. “Enjoy!”

“I didn’t-”

The business man growls when he’s ignored save for his coffee getting refilled.

“What the fuck was that!”

“You said the usual,” Fritz responds as if this wasn’t all his fault. “Eggs and I’s usual are these.”

“I didn’t mean me.”

His human is quick to duck toward his food, pretending he hadn’t been unbanished by the person who had no right to do so. Before David can make sure Melony can’t pull a stunt like that again, he finds it priority to find out how to blame the extra food on the airhead of a waitress. Speaking to his human like he’s equal. Giving him food when it should be clear he wanted no part in this.

There’s a full minute of watching the stream rise until he decides making a giant problem out of it just to get Fritz and Eggs banned for life is too much work and includes the insane blond to demand David get him back inside. Meaning he needs to find a way to get rid of the food without making it seem like he’s throwing a fit. Which he deserves to do.

“Want to try a bite?”

Fritz keeps a microscopic fry held out even at the glare being aimed down at him. “No.”

“You seem like a bacon and fry guy to me.”

David sees the little dumbasses plan. Get him to try some of the food he never even wanted in the first place. And just because he’s tossing a crispy bacon into his mouth doesn’t mean it worked.

It certainly did not lead him to eating the entire thing.

“We’re never coming back here again.”

There wasn’t a generous tip left on the table.

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