#my first ever aelswith x alfred fic

[aelswiths]

The first time she had done it it had been like something out of a dream, some out of body experience where she could see herself going through the motions but it wasn’t her controlling them. It had been done out of a quiet rage and pain that could not be expressed in any other way. No one suspected a thing. Alfred was a sickly man, therefore any bouts of sickness were not seen as unusual and not something to be looked deeply into. aka Aelswith and Alfred being unhinged about each other

For @volvaaslaug, @kingslionheart

Read it here

[witchezandwonderz]

The Hearts Reckoning

Pairing: King Alfred x Male Reader

Request: dk if you do smut but if you do could you do that but basically sad one obv bc i'm like that and it's an alfred one with reader - he/him or they/them idc - and yea, so like a secret relationship but alfred also sort of neglects the reader so reader leaves him and then he realizes what he lost afterwards and yea... reader can take him back or not. idk. just make it to where i would feel that in my damn heart and think about it all day. i love sad fics. #sadboi anyway. thank you, pookie. :3 ~ jasper {he/they/it}

Word Count: 2014

In the quiet shadows of the royal chamber, Y/N felt the weight of Alfred’s gaze on him, warm yet unyielding, and wondered how long he could bear being the king’s best-kept secret, or perhaps the king’s worst-kept secret. Everybody knew of Alfred’s romantic affair, including his wife, Aelswith. Despite the knowing, not one word was spoken of the matter, specifically in front of the king and queen. In all other places however, it was all most people could speak of.

The secret, romantic affair was something that Y/N did not expect, it was something that Aelswith did not expect, in fact it was something that no one had expected.

It all started on a miserable, rainy day. Y/N had received word that the king was in need of a new scribe, so, naturally, he jumped at the chance of earning his way into the kingdom, fuelled by excitement rather than logic of what events would actually play out within the castle walls.

He walked in, shy and not knowing how to speak to the people in front of him. Everyone seemed so vacant, so cold and shallow. His first interactions with Alfred were meaningless, although Y/N had taking a liking to his features, he was unsure of what judgement to make of his personality. He seemed to ignore Y/N completely, and pretended as if he was not there. Initially, Y/N did not mind this as he knew his role was not to make general conversation with the king, but as the days grew so did Y/N’s loneliness. A small interaction would have been appreciated.

Six days into working for the King, Y/N finally got the interaction he had been yearning for. Alfred randomly entered the room that Y/N read peacefully in and stated “I would like you to meet me within my chambers, later this evening”. Y/N looked up at him, his face filled with confusion as he attempted to muster up a response in his head and stuttered the word “why?”. Alfred stood looking back at him, no expression upon his face, “I have not spoken to you, it would be beneficial for me to know who is working for me” and with that, he left the room, leaving Y/N to wonder what on earth had just happened.

Later that night, Y/N left his quarters and continued to ponder what he should anticipate- what did he want to know about him? After knocking on the door lightly, he stood and waited patiently for the king to answer. Surprisingly, Alfred only had only one guard outside of the door, and as a consequence, Y/N felt less intimidated and hoped for a more casual interactions, one without swords and defensive men.

Alfred answered a few moments later, wearing a small smile on his face, moved aside, raising his hand to gesture Y/N to enter. Inside was the most affluent room he had ever seen, he had never seen someone with such riches- but I suppose that makes perfect sense considering the circumstances.

“Please, sit down” Alfred spoke, gesturing towards the chair in front of him. Y/N smiled and silently shuffled his way to sit down. Once sat, Alfred spoke once more “my apologies, I have been so busy that I have not allocated any time to meet you properly” the soft smile stayed rested on his face. Y/N smiled in return “I understand, my lord, you have a particularly busy job”. The comment earned a small laugh from the king. To Y/N’s surprise, Alfred then reached over and briefly touched his leg before laughing and again and moving it back to his own lap.

After that evening, the pair would meet nightly as they very clearly enjoyed one another's company. The two of them became good acquaintances, both spending their days looking forward to their awaited meeting. Y/N was growing fond of Alfred, too fond he thought. Meanwhile being completely unaware that the king reciprocated the fondness. Y/N was made aware of this fact when Alfred planted a kiss upon his lips out of the blue. The kiss was quick, but meaningful. Y/N tried to repeat the action, but much to his dismay, Alfred stepped away and stormed out of the room. Once again, leaving Y/N in a state of pure confusion. 

The next day, Y/N spent the entirety of the day unsure as to whether he should go to Alfred's chambers in the evening- should he act like all is normal? What if he does not turn up and the king becomes angry? But what if he gets angry for him arriving? The questions whirled through his mind before finally coming to a decision; he will go, he will go because despite Alfred being his king, he has no right to do such a significant thing and then treat Y/N as though he is at fault. So that is what he did, at the normal hour he arrived, as he had done nightly for the past fortnight. He waited at the door, attempting to stop his hand from trembling while he gathered both his thoughts and tried to visibly and mentally calm down. 

Alfred opened the door almost immediately, wearing an expression that Y/N could not make understand so in turn had no understanding of the mood of the King. Alfred took Y/N's arm and led him in, hurrying to shut the door behind him. 

"Y/N, I should not have done what I did yesterday, I cannot believe that I would do such a thing I am unbelievably disgusted with myself" Alfred spoke, clearly ashamed as his eyes had not yet found Y/N's but were instead fixated on the floor next to him. Y/N cleared his throat before gently saying "In all honesty, my king, I truly did not mind". Alfred's exterior visibly relaxed after hearing these words as his eyes finally darted from the floor to meet Y/N's. He did not speak for a moment, as he had no idea what to say, but he had to say something, "is that so?" he spoke, louder than the previous words he had uttered. Y/N nodded "Yes, I was quite pleased actually", daring to speak such words to the king himself, Y/N started to forget who he was actually talking too. Alfred did not respond with words, instead looking at Y/N intensely, battling with himself as he tried to refrain from kissing the man in front of him once more. He could not resist, listening to his heart and not his head, Alfred grabbed Y/N's collar, and pushed him back, closing any gap between them. Y/N's  back hit the wall as he pulled him closer, his hands found his waist, fingers gripping tightly, like he was afraid he may slip away.  The two felt each other's breaths, hot and uneven, as Alfred lowered his mouth to his neck, brushing against his skin with a light touch before his lips pressed more firmly, igniting every nerve.

Their hands tangled in each other's hair, pulling one another closer, Alfred let out a low, quiet sound that sent a shiver through him. His mouth found his in a kiss that was anything but gentle, raw and hungry. Their breaths mingled, fast and shallow, each heartbeat pounding louder than the last as he drew him closer. Alfred's hands rushed towards Y/Ns breeches, tugging and tearing to get his hands within them as soon as he could, hungry. Y/N gladly obliged, elated within the moment, moaning loudly as Alfred pleasured him. 

This night changed everything; for two whole years, the two continued their evening meetings which turned into meeting at privately at any chance they possibly could. Alfred found himself making any excuse to go and see the man he had fallen in love with, and Y/N would always be there waiting for him. Y/N found his job role changing and did not want to admit to himself that he was no longer Alfred's scribe, but in fact his plaything. Alfred grew colder towards Y/N; the first year had been full of love, passion and honesty which changed when Alfred became aware that someone had betrayed him- making him think that it would not have happened if he had been more focused. So focus is what he did, he still saw Y/N but when he did, he pleasured himself and then left without saying a word. 

Aelswith became aware of the affair in the early  hours of the morning. She had woken up due to the storm waking her and decided to go for a walk, to see if Alfred was asleep. This whole endeavour had been miserable for Aelswith, also. Her husband never took an interest to her, but had recently been acting even more cold with her. She longed for his attention. She longed for his love. 

What she witnessed, made her wish that she had never left her chambers. She stood horrified as she watched her husband make love to another. Neither of them had realised that she had entered until she accidentally knocked a cup from the table, causing it to crash down to the floor which startled the pair. Y/N immediately tried to make excuses, stuttering, unsure of what to do whereas Alfred stood monotone, not mustering any words at all. Aelswith ran out of the room, meanwhile, Alfred casually got dressed and stated "I will amend this” before following his wife out of the room. Y/N got dressed also, and snuck his way out of the room as quietly as possible with the intentions of following the pair, wanting to hear their conversation. When catching up to them, he had already missed part but caught Aelswith, who seethed the words "I have heard of this disgust. I told myself they were lies. Insolent lies made by insolent people" She paused "yet, I come to find out that they are in fact true" her voice raised. Alfred apologised, and the two argued back and forth before Alfred finally roared the words that broke Y/N's heart "I do not love him, it has been madness, a mistake". Y/N left after this, running back to Alfred's chambers to wait in the hopes that he would come back, and he could confront him. 

Y/N waited for hours, sobbing, wondering how he could have allowed himself to believe that the King loved him. He knew he did not, someone in love would never act so coldly and dismissive. Alfred did however return, not expecting to walk into Y/N, who lay there with a red face. Alfred's face softened, concern becoming apparent "why are you crying?" He sat next to him, placing his hand on Y/N's back. Y/N looked up at him, uttering "You do not love me?" Neither moved for a heartbeat. Then, slowly, Alfred tilted his head, letting his lips brush over Y/Ns with a softness that made his heart ache. The kiss deepened, each touch pulling them closer until the space between them disappeared. 

But then

Alfred pulled away, "I cannot" He admitted. Y/N let out an exasperated sigh "you cannot?". Alfred shook his head "I cannot, Y/N, I love you, I truly love you. I am the King, I am the King that will form England and write History- I cannot ruin it all because of a feeling" A tear escaped Alfred's eye as he spoke once more "I must make that sacrifice, I must not see you again". Y/N sobbed once more at his words, Alfred tried to comfort him once more, which Y/N did not appreciate, "do not dare comfort me when this was all your doing. I have been nothing but loyal to you, I have loved you, appreciated you and the whole time you used me". Alfred let out a small sigh and said "I have never used you. I fell in love with you, I have grown so unbelievably fond of you but I cannot abandon my kingdom". Y/N nodded in defeat before muttering " I understand" through his tears. Alfred touched his hand, "In another life, we would have been happy together. Please, do not forget me".