#my first Seb drawing in the new apartment

[inkspottie]

Transmogrification

[jobean12-blog]

Neighborly Love

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky x reader

Word Count: 1,446

Summary: Bucky is your new neighhor and tension has been building since he  moved in so when the water in his apartment stops working he comes to you first. 

Author’s Note: So my dear love @mickeyhenrys made this edit for me and it sparked an idea because omg it’s glorious and Bucky in glasses is just 🔥🔥🔥and it all happened while we were thirsting over the recent pics of Seb and his MAN BUN! YUM! Thank you so much love and thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the sweet @firefly-graphics thank you darling Daisy🥰

Warnings: Fun, flirty, some fluff, some tension, the doorbell is a pain in the butt, i-mpl-ie-d s-e-x-y time

The below edit is NOT MINE: credit goes to @mickeyhenrys thank you again my lovely 

I’m also including the pic of Seb and his beefy bun below the cut because YES

After a long debate with yourself over whether or not you want to walk to the bathroom in just your tee shirt and panties you decide to make a run for it so you can wash up and change all at once.

With that decision, you open your bedroom door and step into the hall, about to walk to the bathroom when it’s door opens.

Bucky freezes in the doorway when he sees you, his eyes running down the length of your body.

“Mornin’ doll,” he says before clearing his throat. “Sleep ok?”

His long hair is curled around his ears, still wet and sending droplets of water dripping onto his bare shoulders that converge into a glistening trail down his naked chest, zigzagging through his sculpted abdominals before disappearing beneath the waistband of his jeans.  

Jeans that hang low enough to reveal the defined V-cut of his hips.

He raises his arm, towel in hand, and starts to dry his hair, drawing your eyes to his flexing bicep.

“UGH!”

You push him out of the way and slam the bathroom door behind you.

“Guess that’s a no,” he mutters before walking back into the living room.

Once you’re washed up and you’ve used the bathroom you stomp back out, having forgotten all about changing.

You walk over to him and shove his glasses at his chest, hard. “You forgot these in the bathroom.”

“Doll?” Bucky asks in confusion.

“You’re over here, using my shower, walking around like that,” you mutter as you clang angrily around the kitchen.

“Did I miss something?” he asks from the doorway.

“Put a shirt on Bucky,” you snap, keeping your back to him.

“Only if you put on some shorts and a bra doll face,” he replies with a chuckle.

You suddenly go still, remembering you’re only wearing your panties under your oversized tee. Whirling around with the intention to slip past him, you glower but when you reach the doorway he blocks your path, maneuvering you against the wall.

He raises an arm above your head and leans in, the clean scent of your shampoo in his hair. Your eyes travel over his skin appreciatively and when you meet his gaze you find him staring down at your legs. Your thighs rub together instinctively and he lets out a grunt filled with desire.

You try to unjumble your thoughts, the tiny rational part of your brain yelling at you to run.

But everything else is too loud.

“Bucky?” you breathe out and your eyes fall to his mouth.

He lifts his other hand and gently brushes his thumb along the curve of your jaw, in the process bringing your face closer to his. Goose bumps erupt across your skin at the scrape of his calluses and your mind fills with thoughts of how those hands would feel on the rest of your body.

You breathe out his name once more as his head dips, his lips just brushing along yours when the doorbell rings.

With a muttered curse, he retreats, his eyes filled with the promise that this isn’t over.

“I’ll get it,” you squeak.

He catches you by the arm to stop you.

“I’ll get it doll face,” he rumbles, letting his eyes sweep down your body. “No way I’m lettin’ anyone else see you like this.”

You nod with wide eyes and hurry back to your bedroom, quickly glancing back to watch as he lifts his shirt over his head and shoves his glasses onto his face.

“Who was it?” you ask when you return, now dressed in leggings and a new shirt.

“The landlord,” he answers. “My water should be fixed by five.”

“Ok, great,” you say with far too much cheer. “Coffee?”

“Sure, thanks doll,” he says as he takes the hair tie from his wrist and secures his hair at the base of his neck in a small bun.

You stare for a moment too long before looking away and trying to focus on making the coffee.

A few minutes later you walk into your small living room, mugs in hand and sit next to him on the couch. You place the steaming coffee down on the small table and snuggle into his side.

“Thanks again,” he says.

“For what?”

“For letting me crash here and take a shower.”

“Of course,” you tell him. “I’m just glad one of us has working water to use. It seems like everything goes wrong all at once in this building.”  

Your gazes hold for a second before he reaches for his coffee. When he sits back you lean into him again.

“There’s a whole lotta couch ya know doll,” he teases.

“You’re warm and you smell nice,” you pout even as you push yourself away from him.  

He goes to reach for you so he can tuck you back against him but unfortunately during all the shifting you manage to spill a spot of your coffee on his shirt.

“OH MY GOD,” you screech as you plop your coffee back on the table, spilling more, before you grab his shirt and pull it away from his body. “I’m sorry! Are you ok?”

He carefully places his coffee mug down and gives you a lopsided smirk.

“Pretty sure that was my fault,” he says sheepishly. “And I’m fine doll. Don’t worry.”

Your fingers slip higher and you lift the wet fabric, searching his skin for any redness.

His stomach muscles flex under your touch.

“Are you sure?” you whisper, finally dragging your eyes away from his skin.

“I’m sure,” he replies, his voice gruff.

Suddenly, the air feels too thick and the feel of him under your fingers, the heat from his body and the way his eyes shine with desire makes it hard to breathe.

You lick your lips, needing to kiss him.

His head dips to yours as you move upward and then his mouth is on you, frantic and hungry.

Strong arms circle around you, his hands splayed over your back as he pulls you closer until you’re straddling him.

You roll your hips against him, feeling how much he wants you. Your hands dance along his chest and reach behind his head to tug his hair free of the tie, letting it spill out around his face before you slide your fingers through the silky strands. His glasses go askew and he pulls away just fast enough to rip them off and drop them on the couch.

His large hands smooth down to your waist to grip your hips and you feel the pressure of him holding you down as you grind over him again and again. Tightening his hold, he lifts his hips, increasing the pressure.

With every roll of your hips you grow needier and his grip turns bruising.

“I need to come Bucky,” you murmur against his lips.

He growls your name, and then kisses you again, keeping your hips in constant motion over the hardness between his legs.

“Fuck,” he grunts, his cheeks flushed.

“Please,” you whine, your fingernails digging into his skin. “I need you. I need you inside m…”

Ding Dong

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” he growls.

You’re still seated in his lap, your heavy breathing the only sound when the bell buzzes again.

“Don’t move,” he commands as he gently lifts you up.

He adjusts himself in his jeans and grabs his glasses, pushing them up and over his nose. With one last longing glance he starts to walk toward the door.

“Bucky wait!” you call quietly.

He stops and looks back as you hop off the couch and go to him. You press your body along his and reach up to fix his hair and adjust his glasses.

“There…,” you say. “Your hair was a bit mussed and your glasses were crooked.”

“Thanks,” he says with a grin then grabs you around the waist, presses you so close that feel every inch of him and kisses you until you’re breathless.

Third buzz of the bell.

He stomps away and opens the door with too much force, making you giggle. Then you hear him saying a lot of “uh huh, ok, that’s fine, yeah, yeah,” and then the door slams shut and the lock clicks.  

“Was that the landlord again?” you ask as he stalks toward you.

He nods but doesn’t elaborate and when you open your mouth to ask more questions he presses a long finger against your lips.  

“It’s fine,” he says. “Now…”

He starts walking you backward toward the couch and sits, pulling you down over his lap.

“Where were we?” he murmurs with a whisper of his lips along yours.

@book-dragon-13 @hiddles-rose @lookiamtrying @goldylions @sstan-hoe @late-to-the-party-81 @buckysdollforlife @blackwidownat2814 @randomfandompenguin @seitmai @littleseasiren​ 

[darlingian]

weekly tag wednesday

Firsts! Name: c h a n i Age: 31

First Pet? My mom had two Siamese cats before I was born, their names were Ayla and Tiki. But the pet that was all mine was a Betta fish named Herman. He was beautiful.

First Word? My parents had this friend named "Crazy Bob" (so named because of his tendency for lighting fireworks in his mouth.) and he was pushing me on a swing and every time the swing came close to him he'd say "Bob!" and eventually I said it.

First Celebrity Crush? I think Lindsay Lohan?

First IRL Crush? Brendan. He could draw really well and gave me a picture he drew of an armadillo.

First kiss? Either Chelsea, at summer camp in grade 8 on a dare, or if that doesn't count, Bryan at a Halloween party. He looked like Michael Cera and was dressed in a child's unicorn costume. Neither of us enjoyed it.

First Car? a 2005 Toyota Echo. Loved the hatchback, hated that it was a 2 door. Especially when we had a baby and trying to get the bucket seat in and out was a bitch.

First apartment/house/dorm/whatever away from your parents? I left home at 16 and couch surfed with friends. But I was 21 when I first rented my own room and was completely self reliant.

First time on a plane? 13, when I went on a ski trip to BC with my dad.

First cellphone? My dad works in telecommunications (he designs software? Idk he's explained it to me so many times and I still don't understand) and he always had new cellphones laying around so I think the first one he let me take was some kind of blue Nokia. (but my fave was a Motorola razor with Arabic lettering on the keyboard because he bought it in Dubai.)

First concert? I went to music festivals with my dad since I was really young. My dad always said my first was the Canadian band 54-40, but the first one I remember was Bedouin Soundclash. But if we're talking about the first concert I went to without parents? Then Hedley when I was 12. (They played a free block concert)

First Foreign country you visited? I've never been out of the country. (Much to my chagrin. I have such a yearning to travel.)

First sport you ever played? Played soccer when I was little.

First career aspiration? I wanted to be a vet and an artist.

And finally… tell me about the first time you wrote/drew/created/whatever something that made you think "wow" When I was in grade 5 I won an art contest and got to go to art camp. I can't even remember what my art looked like but I remember being proud of it. But when I was in grade 8 I made this plasticine sculpture of a hand reaching up from a tree stump. There were vines and a ladybug and a mouse. My art teacher kept it as an example.

thanks for the tags @mybrainismelted @stocious @energievie @deedala @creepkinginc @heymrspatel ! I'm giving each of you a soft kiss on the head.

tagging @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @mickeysgaymom @heymacy @gardenerian @gallawitchxx @iansw0rld @blue-disco-lights @crossmydna @sgtmickeyslaughter @sam-loves-seb @mmmichyyy @metalheadmickey @jrooc @sickness-health-all-that-shit @deathclassic @loftec @suzy-queued @lupeloto

[mwebber]

idek if it's any sort of concrete story idea and in these moments i rlly wish i could draw bc in my head i am putting girl!seb and mark next to each other on a school bus. and their asses hurt and it's humid as hell but still he has his arm around her shoulders, and maybe it's after a football game away and maybe they're the respective captains of their high school teams (idk how it works in other parts of the world, in my school it was u-18 girls and u-18 boys) and maybe they're falling asleep against each other. and maybe they're sooo competitive in phys ed class, maybe they're prom queen and king material, maybe they're facing the imminent despair of having to keep a long distance relationship as they go to separate universities. maybe they both experience a fall from grace, the sort that those who succeed in high school usually go through when they get to first year, the kind of existential dread 17/18yr olds feel.

and maybe after they meet new people in their lives and acclimate to University Life, sometimes they each think that the other is keeping them weighed down, like being tied to high school is something old and juvenile, something that prevents them from realizing their true selves in this scary new world of adulthood. maybe other times they spend time and money they don't have just to have a weekend together. and the first time they do just that, seb is like an entirely different woman, brimming with a quiet confidence that she faked being loud about in high school. but she still takes her tea the same, and she still kisses mark right over his cheek dimple whenever the chance presents itself. maybe mark has changed as well, though it's subtler, because he was always softer with her (and the dogs), but it's like that softness has spread, his attention to detail a little sharper, his worldview seemingly widened simply by having roommates from other walks of life.

maybe over the years they learn that growing up and out of who they were--seb becoming more comfortable with being herself, mark accepting Responsibility for his life and maturing--means growing apart. after all, she doesn't really need him to enable her, and he doesn't really need her to be a voice of reason anymore. it might take a break, even a break up, and oh, how is this, where seb can be heartless when she wants to be, and mark can be cruel when the situation calls for it, and distance makes the heart grow fonder but also exacerbates existing tensions.

but maybe they also learn that they can still come together in the end if they want it badly enough. going into their relationship, they knew that it probably wouldn't be forever. it wasn't forever. but maybe, just maybe, they're both home for the summer after they graduate, getting ready for that next tumultuous chapter in life, and a simple greeting hug feels like coming home.

what is it called when u get an au idea of your own au

[sebastiansluts]

This blog is an absolute GIFT 😭💗 Could we see something where Reader is in her early twenties and Seb is her new doctor/ob/gyn? She shows up for her first exam and the energy is so erotic and so thick you could cut it with a knife. He listens to her heart for what feels like forever, maybe strokes her hair lightly while he’s listening. And he’s smirking because he knows she’s putty in his hands. He finds out she’s a virgin and, as her doctor, feels like he needs to amend that (this is so oddly specific I’m sorry please forgive my raging medkink)

You're too sweet! And don't apologize, that's what I'm here for lol!

Sebastian Stan x Reader; doctor!seb, medkink, loss of virginity, NOT underage, vaginal sex

ANY HATE WILL BE DELETED THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE DON'T LIKE, DON'T INTERACT; MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+

You were sitting nervously in the doctor's office, hands fidgeting. A knock on the door, and before you could say 'come in', it was opening, the most beautiful man you had ever seen standing in the doorway, shutting it behind him.

Dr. Stan didn't say a word and you watched as he sat down on the stool next you, pulling on his stethoscope and pressing it to your gown covered chest.

Your breath hitched, and his free hand came up, stroking your hair lightly as he listened. You could feel your heart speed up and he smirked, obviously hearing it.

He sat back after what felt like ages, fingers brushing your hair behind your ear. He put the stethoscope around his neck, pulling up your chart.

"So, you're 22 and just coming to me? What prompted the change?" Dr. Stan finally asked, glancing over at you.

"My old doctor moved, I needed a new one and I picked the first name I saw. Kinda thought you were gonna be a woman cause I only knew your last name," you admitted, breath catching at the dark look in his eye. He shifted and your eyes fell to his lap, bulge prominent between his legs. "But that's obviously not the case," you continued, looking back up into his eyes.

Dr. Stan's stare was calculating, assessing you. You straightened up, inadvertently sticking your chest out, drawing his gaze. "And it says you're not sexually active? Any particular reason? At your age it's a little surprising."

Your cheeks flushed and you looked away, embarrassed. "I'm a virgin," you replied, and you heard him inhale heavily. You glanced back at Dr. Stan to see hunger in his eyes.

"I see. Alright, up on the bed sweetheart, time for the exam," he said, standing up and putting his crotch at your eye level. You inhaled sharply, biting your lip and glancing up at Dr. Stan. His mouth was slightly open, eyes fixed on your lip as you released it from your teeth.

You stood up slowly, feeling the thin gown pulling at your arms uncomfortably. Dr. Stan reached behind you, undoing the ties, letting the gown flap open in the back. His hands slid up your arms until he was holding the neckline, slowly pulling it down your body until he could let it fall to the ground.

He stepped back and his eyes roved your body, taking it all in, zeroing in between your legs with a focus that made you clench. "On the bed baby, legs apart," Dr. Stan murmured, eyes returning to yours, near black with lust.

You slowly climbed onto the exam bed, sitting on the edge and placing your feet in the stirrups. Dr. Stan pulled on a pair of gloves, then walked closer, grabbing your hips and yanking you to the very edge, half your ass hanging off. Your arms were behind you, bracing you up.

"Now, normally, we use a speculum to open to you up, but since you're a virgin, we'll start with a few fingers. And don't worry, I've even got plenty of lube here if we need it," Dr. Stan said, gesturing to the instrument table next to him. Instead of returning to your hip, his hand went between your spread legs, rubbing his fingers along your pussy, gathering all the wetness that had collected there.

He lifted his hand, staring at his wet fingers, smearing it around as he inhaled, groaning quietly. "It looks like we won't need the lube, that's alright sweetheart, makes it easier for me to do this," Dr. Stan said and thrust two fingers into your pussy, making you clench in surprise.

"Oh!" you gasped, watching his hand move between your legs. Your arms were shaking, holding you up, and you eased yourself down onto your back, the bed partially tilted already so you were starting at Dr. Stan instead of the ceiling.

He added a third finger, the gloves feeling strange on your walls, smooth but rubbery. You shivered, gasping out a moan when he pressed against a spot inside you that made your back arch.

"Okay baby, you ready?" he asked, undoing his pants and pulling his cock out. He swiped the tip through your folds, tapping it against your clit and making you jolt.

"Please Doctor Stan," you said, biting your lip again and he swore, lining up with your entrance.

"Shit, alright sweetheart, here we go, nice and easy," he murmured, one hand tight on your hip, the other holding his dick as he began pressing into you, your twin moans mixing. Dr. Stan pushed himself forwards until he couldn't anymore, balls deep in your pussy, teeth clenched as he held still so you could adjust.

"Oh my god, oh my god, ohmygod." You couldn't stop saying it, overwhelmed by the cock stuffing you in a way you'd never felt, feeling full, almost uncomfortably so. And then he started moving.

Dr. Stan's hips rolled against yours, slowly pulling out and pushing back in, over and over until he had built a steady, deep pace. Your hands were tight on his arms, still gripping your hips.

"That's it baby, doing so well. Fuck, this pussy, gripping me so tight baby," Dr. Stan praised, making you shudder as it soaked into you, clenching even tighter. His hips tripped, slamming into you briefly, making your back arch again.

"Again!" you moaned, and he swore, thrusting hard. You squeezed his arms, and said, "More, please Doctor Stan."

He growled and suddenly he was fucking you hard and fast, making you slide up the bed until he pulled you back down onto his cock. You could feel something building inside you, higher and higher until you were taking a breath and a strangled screech came out instead as you came, his dick hitting that spot in you.

Dr. Stan slapped a hand over your mouth, quieting you until you were only panting, chest heaving as your body twitched with aftershocks from his still moving hips.

"Fuck baby, look at you," he groaned, sliding two gloved fingers into your mouth. You could taste yourself on them, the rubbery taste of the gloves hidden. Dr. Stan's hips stuttered and stilled as he came, watching you suck his fingers.

He pulled out slowly, watching his dick leave your pussy. He slid his fingers from your mouth, tucking himself away as he said, "And now you're ready for the speculum."

[unwantedtomost]

it had been months — sebastian stan

sebastian stan x fem!reader

word count: 4,401 words

summery: it had been nine months since you and your first real long term boyfriend broke up. but as they say, time makes the heart grow fonder ... and it also made the lust build up.

warnings: angst, smut, thigh riding, cheating, kind of a breeding kink at the end, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

a/n: i have never actually posted a whole thing on here before, so i hope this goes well. i know my writing can improve, but it’s pretty good i would say. enjoy!

It had been months since you had broken up with your long-term boyfriend. Your first long-term boyfriend you had since you arrived to the Hollywood scene. Nine months, to be exact. The same amount of time it would have been to carry a child. A hypothetical child. The same hypothetical child that ruined your relationship in the first place.

“You don’t want kids?” Sebastian questioned as soon as you entered the shared apartment. The topic of children came up at dinner with your shared friends. You, offhandedly said: “God, no,” with a laugh, not giving it a second thought. Not till now.

“Not really,” you said as you unzipped your heeled boots. “I never really have, not since I was younger.”

“Never?” He asked, heart starting to beat heavier.

You looked up to him, concerned when you saw his face. It was the same face he had on every time you guys got in a face, mixed with disappointment, maybe even hurt. You smiled, trying to lighten the situation.

“Maybe not never,” you said, putting your shoes away. “But not at least for ten years, maybe even longer. I mean, I am only twenty-two. I would like a good life without children before bringing them into the mix.”

Your warm smile and calm demeanor did nothing to elevate the tension, something inside you saying it did the exact opposite. He looked serious and upset, a combination you never saw much.

“In ten years I’ll be almost fifty,” Sebastian states.

“So? Guys never really stop shooting out good rounds. All my parts will still be intact by that time too.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is it?” You were confused. Why was he acting like this?

“I shouldn’t be old enough to be the kid’s grandfather.”

Anger started to bubble up as well. This tone that he had made you pissed off. He was talking like you were stupid like you didn’t get what he was saying. The brassiness you had in general not helping your temper.

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you started dating someone sixteen years younger than you,” you shot back.

Then the yelling started. Something that could have been a deep, meaningful conversation (one that frankly should have been had way before this point) turned into a full-blown fight. You both started going in at each other, picking at old scabs that you knew would hurt. That was the point, after all, you just wanted to hurt each other. Because you were mad and upset, you guessed, but by the end of it, you weren’t even sure.

The fighting ended two hours later, you sat, slumped on the couch, huffing. You tried to catch your breath from all the yelling. Your throat was hoarse, your cheeks sticky from dried tears.

“It seems like we’re not gonna work out then,” you said, numb.

“Seems so.”

And you left that night, grabbing nothing but your phone before making your way to your closest friend’s house.

After that, you cried for two months straight. You really thought that Sebastian was endgame. That you would be together forever. That you would be happy. Ever since you caught sight of him at your first audition, you felt that he was the one. Then the universe laughed maniacally as it showed you just how fucking wrong you were.

In the past nine months, you had seen him approximately sixteen times, most being in passing, a few being at parties, and one time being at a coffee shop that you both loved. You started to frequent it less after the breakup, too scared to bump into him. Little did you know, he was doing the same thing. The day you two saw each other was both of your first times in three months.

It was all stupid small talk until it wavered, forced laughs and fake smiles fading as the reality of the situation simmered in.

“Look, y/n—”

“Don’t,” you interrupted. You knew what he was going to say, and you didn’t want to hear it. You simply couldn’t. “It was nice seeing you again, Sebastian. I hope you have a good life.” You took a few steps before turning back around for a moment. He looked at you like he was expecting you to run into his arms and make everything go back to normal. “And I really hope you meet a girl that can give you what you need.”

He tried to reach out to you, but you wouldn’t let him. You simply walked away and left him, alone. That was the last time you had spoken to him.

It was five months after the breakup until you let your friends talk you into going out again. And that night you had run into none other than the Timothee Chalamet. Numbers were exchanged then the next thing you knew, you were naked in his hotel room. After that, you went through a bit of a “hoe stage.” Every two weeks you were on a cover of TMZ, E!, or any other celebrity gossip magazine that existed with a “possible new thing.” The people ranged from Tom Holland to Madison Beer, and no one knew what was true or not. After the first few batches came out, you stopped giving a shit. You were allowed to rebound with whomever or however you wanted to, and you were taking full advantage of that.

You were so busy juggling so many people that you hadn’t even thought about Sebastian. Not till right now. Your eyes catch his from across the ballroom that you’re currently in. Your pulse quickens rapidly, you feel like you might even faint. If it wasn’t for Timothee’s hand on your waist, you were sure you would have collapsed on the spot. You watched as Sebastian’s jaw clenched just like it did whenever you did something he disapproved of. Just like it did every time he gave into himself and read one of those stupid gossip sights and saw you all over whatever arm candy you had chosen for the week.

“I’ll be right back, okay babe?” Timothee said, kissing you on the cheek. He waited for you to nod before making his way to one of his friends.

You don’t know what to do and those beautiful blue eyes you fell in love with all that time ago refuse to leave yours. You feel like you want to cry, or scream, or throw up, but you know that you shouldn’t actually do any of those things. You’d draw attention and you don’t want any more people talking about you.

Luckily, one of your best friends, Elizabeth, pulls you into a tight hug and brings you back to earth. Her body feels warm and it makes you feel safe, the smell of her strawberry shampoo bringing you comfort.

“I know,” she said before you spoke. “I saw. Are you okay? I’ll leave with you right now if you want to.”

It takes you a minute to process everything, and even though you’re running everything through your mind, nothing really sinks in.

“I’ll be fine,” you say with conviction, though you don’t know if it’s true at all. “Leaving wouldn’t accomplish anything.” You stop talking for a minute before smiling at Elizabeth. “Now, let’s go give the people what they want and take some pictures together.”

It had been two hours and the event was finally coming to a close. No more than forty-five minutes and the place would be cleared out. With that knowledge, you went to go take advantage of the free bar stocked up with expensive liquor. After schmoozing with people you did not even want to interact with, you deserve it.

“Two shots of tequila and a rum and coke, please,” you say to the rather cute bartender, shoulders slumping.

As soon as the two shot glasses were in front of you, you downed them. It burned like hell and you could only imagine the ungodly face you made. You tried to chase it with the rum and coke, but it didn’t help much. You heard a gruff voice beside you order something, one that was very familiar. When you heard a chuckle, you knew for sure who was right next to you. You froze again, that same dizzy, sick feeling coming back. You turned your head slowly to see those big blue eyes for the second time tonight, your heart surely beating loud enough that anyone in a mile radius could hear it.

“You look beautiful tonight, y/n,” Sebastian said, leaning against the bar, facing you.

“You do too,” you blurt out. Face turning red after you realized that you’re fucking stupid. “I mean, you look—shit. You look very nice, Seb—Sebastian.”

You’re so flustered and red, you want to simply sink into the floor. For a moment, you wonder why he isn’t acting the same way. It could be that he had already had some to drink or maybe he was just better at controlling his emotion. And the thought that makes dread flow through you is that maybe he is just over you.

“Are you going to an after-party?” He asks, sipping from his glass.

“I don’t think so,” you say. You were supposed to go to one with Timothee, where you were finally going to announce that you two had become official, but now you just want to go home. “Are you?”

“Probably not,” he said simply. “I’ll just have a few more of these back home and go to bed.”

“Drinking alone is no fun,” you say, hinting. You know what you are trying to get across but you don’t know why. It’s like your mouth was moving before your brain could understand what you were doing.

“It’s not ideal,” he said. “But I really don’t have a date to drink with, unlike you.” He pointed towards Timothee talking to a director you hastily met.

“He’s not my date,” you shot out. “I mean, he is, but we’re not like, dating.” Why the fuck are you talking!?!?

“It’s none of my business,” Sebastian said. He didn’t sound mean, he sounded like he was trying to comfort you.

“I know … but we’re not … if you were wondering.”

He chuckled, placing a hand on your elbow. “It was nice to see you again, y/n.”

He turned to start walking away but you called after him, making him turn back around. “Wait!” Once he was facing you, you felt like you were in a movie. “I could go for a drink.”

Sebastian smiled but his eyes dismissed you. “What are you doing, sugar?” He warned.

“I don’t know,” you said honestly. “But don’t shut me down.”

With a shared smile, he took your hand and you both left the party. On the car ride back to his apartment (that used to be your apartment), you thought briefly about how you would explain this to Timothee in the morning. Then you turned off your phone so you didn’t have to feel guilty if he decided to text you. Neither of you spoke much on the way. His hand never left its place on your thigh before you were finally there.

When he opened the door, you stumbled lightly into the apartment. Sebastian caught you by wrapping his arm around your waist. He lightly sat you down on the chair by the entrance (the same one you had sat at nine months ago). Once he had closed the door and put his things down, he came back to you to help slip off your heels.

“Are you already drunk?” He chuckled.

“No, just a wee bit tipsy.”

“Your ‘wee bit’ is usually a lotta bit.”

“Not this time, I really mean just a wee wee bit.” You suddenly burst out laughing at the fact you just said wee wee, giving away the fact that you are indeed close to being drunk.

“Maybe you don’t need anymore to drink,” Sebastian said.

“C’mon, Sebby, take that stick out of your ass,” you say, making him laugh. It makes you feel lighter like you weren’t fucking shit up again. Like you weren’t making a mistake you would regret in the morning. 

You watched as he made his way into the kitchen, pouring both of you a glass of red wine. Your favorite and most expensive red wine, the one that you had left at the apartment after the breakup. You wondered if it was the same bottle, or if he had done the same thing he was doing with you with another girl. When he came back, he handed you the glass which you placed down on the coffee table, realizing you were still in a designer white dress that you didn’t own.

“Shit,” you muttered after your realization.

“What is it?”

“This isn’t my dress.”

His eyes wandered down your figure as he thought. “You can take that off and I can hang it up for you. I’m sure there’s something here you can wear.”

You nodded before he was walking towards the bedroom, the one you once shared. You followed after him through the small hall. You looked around the room, noticing how boring it looked now. None of your decorations you had were up anymore, but the small mural you once painted in the middle of the night was still in full view. Did he think about you every time he saw it? If he did, why didn’t he just paint over it? 

Sebastian placed one of his shirts (that was your favorite one to wear) and a pair of shorts you had thought you lost on the bed.

“Well, you can get changed in here,” he stated before going for the door.

“Actually,” you called out, stopping him from leaving. “Can you unzip me please?”

He paused for a moment before nodding, slowly making his way back to you. The room went silent as he softly collected your hair and moved it to one side. Heat started to rise through your body at the close proximity he held. His hands grazed your shoulders momentarily before he steadily unzipped the expensive dress. You caught his eyes in the mirror in front of you, your cheeks immediately burning red. He finished unzipping the dress before helping you slide it off your arms. You had to cover your breasts with your arm since you hadn’t worn a bra. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen your body before, he knew his way around there better than you did, but not covering yourself just felt inappropriate. But, to be fair, the entire situation felt inappropriate. The dress fell to a pool around your feet, leaving you in nothing but a pair of lace black underwear, ones that Sebastian had bought for you one month before you broke up. You stepped out of the dress, eyes never leaving his. He bent down to pick it up, blue orbs never leaving your eyes.

“I’ll go lay this on the guest bed,” Sebastian said plainly before leaving the room and closing the door.

Your heart was beating out of your chest as you let your arm fall. Even though you hadn’t even had a conversation with Sebastian in six months, being in that moment felt more intimate than anytime you had sex with Timothee—or anyone, for that matter. You pulled on the worn-out gray tee shirt that vaguely had ‘Coca-Cola’ printed across it before going out to the living room where you found Sebastian sipping on his wine, now dress in an old tee and grey sweatpants.

The next hour felt like a blur, it was filled with giggles and stupid comments. By the end of it, the wine bottle was empty and you two were officially wine drunk. Now, you were slumped on the couch (the one that you picked out), leaning towards Sebastian, hand dancing along the cushion space between you two.

“Have you realized we never had a goodbye?” You ask, breaking the silence.

“What do you mean?” He asked, not wanting his guess to what you were talking about to be right.

“I mean, we had a fight and I left then we were done. There were no ‘this is for the best’ speeches or attempts at a goodbye kiss. One day there was an us and the next it was … nothing.” You looked up at him, an innocent yet quizzical look on your soft features.

“We don’t have to talk about this,” he said.

Not this shit again. “I know,” you said, “we don’t have to talk about anything. We’re not together anymore. We don’t even need to acknowledge each other’s existence anymore. But tonight, you did, and now we’re on your couch.”

“I don’t—” he started, but you wouldn’t let him finish.

“We don’t have to talk about it then. But, I do have another question. Did you ever fuck anyone here?” The words flowed out before you could think any longer, nothing but courage and alcohol running through your body.

“What?”

“It’s pretty self-explanatory, Sebastian. I just want to know if you ever fucked someone in my—our—this place.”

His eyes bore into yours as he spoke, voice sharp and clear. “No, y/n, I have never fucked anyone in this place. No one but you.”

That answer made you happy. This place, your place, was still pure. No random hookups had tramped through the place where you lived.

“Good,” you accidentally said out loud, making him upset.

“Why does it even matter? It’s not like you weren’t fucking those young things you were all over in public.” He started to get angry at the thought. “Who are you to question me about my sex life after you broke up with me then pranced around tabloid covers for months with different people each week?”

“Because this was our house, I just want to know it wasn’t tainted by blonde bitches with names you didn’t even remember in the fucking morning.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but you’re the only blonde bitch I’ve fucked.”

Suddenly, your hand was moving and your palm was connecting with his face. It shocked both of you, making you both freeze in place. It took ten seconds before Sebastian grabbed the wrist you hit him with, yanking it so you were closer to him. So close you could feel his breath on your face.

“Slap me again and see what fucking happens, I dare you,” he spit out.

Then your heart was in your ass as your stomach erupted with butterflies and your panties soaked with arousal.

It was almost like you lost all control over your body as you smashed your lips against his. Your hands went to the back of his neck, pulling him in closer and tugging at the hair there. The intentional scruff on his face was harsh against your smooth skin, but it only elevated your pleasure. Sebastian’s hands went around the sides of your neck, one kind of cupping your face while the other was closer to the back to pull you closer. You felt like you needed to get closer to him, get as close as possible. You needed every single inch of him over every single part of yourself. Your leg swung, straddling him.

Without thinking, you rutted yourself against his thigh, a guttural moan coming from your lips as you did. It’s not like you hadn’t been touched in a while, you just got fucked a few days ago, but you hadn’t experienced something as hot as this in so long. It was rushed and needed, you felt like you would die if he stopped. Your hips absent-mindedly grinded down against his thigh again.

“Fuck, ride my thigh baby,” he ordered. You listened, slipping into your old ways. You continued to rut against his thigh as you kissed. He knew you were getting close by the moans you were letting out into the kiss. He pulled away from your lips, watching as you were losing yourself. “I want you to cum for me, sugar.”

Your hips slowed as your mind raced a mile a minute. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of making you cum from just his thigh. What would that do to his already inflated ego? It sounded like bullshit to give into him.

“No,” you mumbled out, your hips threatening to halt their movement.

“No?” He repeated.

You sat there for a minute, silent as his eyes frantically studied your face to see what the point was. He wondered if you wanted to stop, he would understand completely, but he knew that wasn’t what it was by the way you keep clenching your thighs together. Sebastian smirked as he realized what was really happening. He grabbed your hips and started to push you down on his thigh. The problem was that you wanted to cum, but you didn’t want to cum for him. Too bad he was determined on it.

You moaned loudly as he started to drag your hips. You were inching so close, the fact that you didn’t want to give in to the feeling made it feel like it was only becoming stronger. Your hands grabbed his old t-shirt as you frantically moved your hips back and forth. Your nose scrunched and your eyes shut tight, your mouth letting out a whisper of “oh fuck”s on a loop.

“That’s it,” you heard Sebastian say even though his voice sounded like it was miles away. “Cum like a good girl.”

Suddenly, all the pressure that was building up deep within your tummy snapped and you were on cloud 9. Your heat pulsed as you road out your orgasm, Sebastian's hands helping you immensely. It took a good minute of pants as you caught your breath before you opened your eyes and came back to reality.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” you muttered to him when you finally made eye contact again.

“I know,” he smirked. “Now be a good girl, sugar, and take off your pants.”

You questioned arguing with him more, but you decided not to. You wanted him, you wanted him so fucking bad. You stood up and pulled down your shorts, doing a little spin so Sebastian could marvel at how wonderful you looked.

“As beautiful as those look on you, darling, they’d look better on the floor.”

You playfully rolled your eyes as you stripped out of the underwear as well, leaving you in nothing but an old grey t-shirt. You went back to your place on Sebastian’s lap, pulling him in for another passionate kiss. You felt like you were melting into him entirely as everything snapped back into place. Your hands roamed lower, palming him through his grey sweats. You smirked to yourself at the realization of how hard he was already and at the fact he wasn’t wearing boxers. He lifted his hips to help you pull down his pants. Just as you were getting ready to place his member in the place you wanted him the most, he halts your movement by grabbing your wrist.

“Shit, I don’t have a condom, y/n,” he warned. You frowned, upset that he had stopped you.

“I don’t care.”

“But you still have that IUD in, right?”

You grimaced because no, you did not. Your five years had run out two months ago and you hadn’t gotten around to making an appointment for a new one. You shook your head slowly side to side before he sighed. He went to pull you off of him but you stopped him by holding onto his shoulders

“I don’t care,” you repeated.

“Y/n, you know why can’t.”

“Why not?”

He looked at you in disbelief. “Besides the fact you could get pregnant?”

“I don’t care,” you said one more time. “I want you.”

He looked into your eyes, trying his best to decipher your intentions.

“Y/n …”

“Get me pregnant, Sebby,” you said, meaning it too. “I want you, I want your kids. Fuck, I want us back. I don’t care if that means kids and a white picket fence. I just want you.”

“Are you sure?”

In response, you slowly leaned down and your lips touched. It was nothing like the kisses you had shared preferably, it was slow and soft. He pulled you closer, finally letting you lower yourself down on him. You both let out loud moans as you sink down on his member.

It was like you had forgotten what making love felt like, probably because you did. In the past nine months since you had split, you hadn’t made love with anyone once. It was all just meaningless sex or hot fucking, but there was no love behind it. You didn’t love Timothee, you hadn’t loved any of your flings. Maybe it was because you never stopped loving Sebastian—you were almost sure it was because of that.

You moved up and down whilst Sebastian thrust up into you. The room was filled with moans, grunts, and praises from both ends. He started to kiss your neck as his thumb started to rub your clit. The multiple amounts of stimulation only brought you closer to your climax.

“I’m gonna, fuck—I’m close.”

“I know, babygirl,” he cooed. “Look at me.” You looked into his blue orbs, feeling your climax inching ever so closer. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whined out as your hips moved faster. “Cum inside me, Sebastian. Get me—fuck, god—put a fucking baby in me.”

With your confirmation, he flipped you on your back, thrusting harder. The hand that wasn’t toying with your clit interlaced with yours. Your grip on each other squeezed harder as you neared your finishes. You wrapped your legs around him as his hips started to stutter.

“Cum with me, baby,” Sebastian groaned.

You finally let the coil that built inside of you snap with his permission. Moments later, he busted inside of you, making you both yell out. He collapsed on top of you, trying his best not to crush you under his weight. You both panted for minutes before you finally spoke up.

“I love you,” you said. He lifted his head, looking into his eyes. “I never stopped.

“Neither did I,” Sebastian said. “Did you mean it, you want to have kids?”

“I want to do anything if it means I can be with you. Anything.”

[duuhrayliegh]

my hero - request

request: anon: hi could you write a sebastian x female reader fic where she suffers from anxiety and feels bad because of it but he comforts her and tells her there’s nothing wrong with her and how strong she is even though she has this disorder

pairing: sebastian stan x female!reader

warnings: self-esteem issues, anxiety, toxicity in the fandom, language?

a/n: hey nona! you weren’t super specific on what type of anxiety that you wanted to reader to have, so if this isn’t what you had in mind, lmk and i’ll write you another fic! other than that i hope you like it!

p.s.: my requests and tag lists are open!!

xoxo ray

check out my m.list

You and Seb met at a coffee shop in New York. It was totally cliche and seemed straight out of a storybook. You had somehow managed to spill coffee on that specimen of a man, and he was kind enough to let you pay for his dry cleaning. Your relationship didn’t grow until you ran into him again while you were at a bar with your friends. If he had any say in telling the story of how you met, he spotted you from across the smoky bar and he knew then and there that he had to get to know you. Truthfully, you liked his version, but the real one was just indescribable. It seemed, to you at least, that you were destined to be with this man. Seeing him twice in one week? Come on, that’s possible if you were in the small town you grew up in, but not New York.

You obviously had recognized him as an actor, but really you didn’t care. That’s what drew Sebastian to you in the first place. You treated him as if he was any other guy on the street, he was able to be a normal person around you. Now, two years later, you lounge on the couch of your apartment in LA that you shared with the man you love. He’s still auditioning for any role that catches his eye and you’re supporting him no matter what.

His fans for the most part adored you and your relationship with Sebastian. The fans who didn’t like you were your only issue with this whole affair, but they had nothing to do with Sebastian other than flood his socials with nasty messages about you. You weren’t perfect, that you knew all too well, and you tried to let the comments roll off your shoulders. Most of the time you were successful in your efforts, but other times they clung to your skin like an unwanted disease.

Sebastian was currently promoting his new project Endings, Beginnings. You were so unbelievably proud of Seb, he was doing something that made him happy. In this particular film, he was acting alongside Shailene Woodley, who was just amazing. Seb always came home gushing about the new inside jokes that they had come up with. One of your favorite things that Seb did with you was run lines. You liked having the inside scoop on his new works, but this one was harder for you. It had quite a few sex scenes between Seb’s character Frank and Shailene’s Daphne.

Not that it bothered you. Nope. Didn’t bother you. At all.

...mmm, okay maybe it bugged you a little. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Sebastian, it was… well you couldn’t really describe what it was. Whatever the case may be, it was putting you deeper and deeper into a funk, one that you were having a hard time coming out of. And Seb’s fans who weren’t in your corner, weren’t really helping you any.

A few nights ago, Seb surprised you with a casual night out in LA. He texted you before he got home and told you that he was going to be taking you out. Did he give you a dress code for the evening? No, he did not (wonderful, thanks so much Seb). You decided to dress in a half business casual, half rail me when we get home outfit. You ended up wearing an adorable bustier top that was embroidered with pretty blue and pink flowers, a pair of destroyed jeans covered your legs. You finished it off with a pair of nude heels, when you looked in the mirror, you thought you looked hot as fuck. It was around seven when Seb picked you up, mouth hanging open, in awe of your outfit.

“Oh my god. You look so beautiful, Y/N.” He opened the passenger door of his car after he hugged you, giving you a small peck on the lips. Sebastian drove you to a restaurant a block off of Thai Town called Home Restaurant.

“Babe, this place is so cute!” You squeezed Sebastian’s upper arm, jumping up and down beside him. “How’d you find this place?” Sebastian shook his head, smiling at you.

“I asked Shai, actually.” He rubbed his hand on the back of his neck, and your heart sank a little. Why did it do that? “She said that the paps hardly ever come around here.” He leaned down pressing a kiss to your temple. “I thought that draga mea deserved a quiet night out on the town.” His voice rasped as he spoke in his native tongue, making a shiver race down your spine.

“Well, tell her I said thank you.” You offered him a small smile. He wrapped his arm around your waist, drawing circles on the exposed skin above your jeans. He spoke with the hostess as your mind drifted away. You were pulled out of your thoughts when he guided you to your table. Sebastian sat across from you, staring deeply into your eyes. You brought your hand up to rest your chin on it, staring back at him. “How’s everything been going?” You were genuinely interested in the answer and it made your heart warm watching his face light up.

“It’s been going really well. Everyone we worked with was real nice, it made all the scenes more comfortable.” Seb’s eyebrows rose at the mention of the scenes and you knew which ones he was referring to.

“Oh, right.” You tried not to let your emotions show.

“Yeah, we’re about to start teasing some of them to promote the show.” Seb sighed at the thought of having to use social media, you shook your head at him.

“I’ll help you with it, you dork.” You laughed to hide your discomfort. “Which scene did they approve for the posts?” Sebastian began to speak when he was interrupted by your waitress. After the two of you ordered your food, the waitress returned with your drinks. Sebastian took a large gulp of his before answering your previous question.

“They want me to post the trailer and then the scene between Frank and Daphne at the bar.” You tried to think back to the script, remembering the context. Frank and Daphne were meeting after Daphne had gone out on a date with Jack. Daphne was claiming that she didn’t want to be a wedge in their friendship, then proceeded to make out with Frank. If you were recalling correctly, Frank and Daphne’s first sex scene followed soon after.

“Okay, we can do that. Do you have any behind the scene pictures you wanna post too?” Seb got out his phone, scrolling through his camera roll to see. He had several different photos of him with Jamie and then him with Shailene. He showed you his phone on a picture of Shailene leaned against him on a couch, her arm over his waist. A red filter colored the photo, you had to hand it to him, it was a good one to use. “We can post it whenever we get home, love.” Sebastian locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket, to focus solely on you.

“How has your day been, draga mea?” You bit your lip as you thought about what you’ve been doing. You’ve been working towards your Master’s, so your days have been filled with preparing for your dissertation. On top of that, you’ve become a bit of an influencer on different social media platforms. Really, you believe your popularity came from your relationship with Sebastian. You’ve been giving his fans the content that they’ve always wanted. Not only that, but you’re active with them.

“My day was good today. I had to edit a few papers from my other classmates but other than that I didn’t do much. I did make a few TikTok videos, but really today was a bit of a lounge day for me.” Seb smiled at you, proud of how hard you’ve been working.

“I should be getting a few days off soon, so we can relax together in the apartment, if you aren’t too busy with your classes.” He stretched his arm across the table, palm up waiting for your hand. Seb pulled your hand up to his mouth, placing a sloppy kiss onto the back of it. His eyes settled on you lovingly. To Sebastian, you were the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.

The two of you managed to finish your meal in peace. No fans came up to Sebastian asking for photos, no paparazzi swarms when you left, just a quiet meal for a normal couple in love. After you got home and you were snuggled in your pajamas alongside Sebastian in your comfortable bed, he handed you his phone to read over his post for his Instagram. The paragraph was sappy, about his time working with Drake, the director, and working with the rest of the cast. Seb always was a softy, never was able to hide it, especially in promo posts.

“It looks good to me. Are you going to post it now? Or wait until tomorrow morning?” Seb debated, he probably should wait and do it tomorrow, but he was most likely going to forget to do it. He clicked post, putting his phone on charge and snuggling into you.

“Thank you for always being there for me, Y/N.” He kissed your jawline, nuzzling his face into your neck. “It really means a lot to me, baby. I love you so much.” He wrapped both hands around your waist, pulling you to his front. You smiled wide, momentarily forgetting all of your troubles.

“I love you too, Seb.” You turned your head slightly, pressing a kiss against the corner of his mouth. “Now let’s get some sleep, love.” Little did you know that a single post could ruin all of the progress that you thought you had made.

*********************

You woke the next morning, alone in bed. You could hear pots clanging in the kitchen of your home, bringing a smile to your face. Before you left the safety of your bed, you checked your socials out of habit. You opened Instagram first, seeing an absurd amount of notifications this early in the morning. Your smile dropped as soon as you opened the first post. Comments on Sebastian’s post about Endings, Beginnings and his chemistry with Shailene weren’t entirely out of the ordinary. They were to be expected, they were playing parts in a love triangle. People were ‘shipping’ Shailene with Seb and Jamie, so that wasn’t too crazy.

What hurt you were the comments saying, “living for shailene and sebastian! she’s a much better match for him than y/n.”

“never thought that y/n girl was going to last, glad he’s going w shailene”

“shailene and seb supremacy”

“yes! i’ve always supported seb in everything he’s done, but i rlly questioned him when he got w that y/n girl. what was he thinking?!”

Tears gathered in your eyes as you continued scrolling. You never thought you and Sebastian never fit. You knew that people had issues with your relationship, but you never let it get in your head this bad. You checked your explore page, pictures of you and Sebastian from last night were riddling the page.

Your heart dropped.

There were pictures of the two of you from last night with parts of your body circled. The exposed skin above your waistband, the excess skin on your neck and arms. You don’t know where they got these pictures, but your stomach was steadily sinking with each picture you saw. The door of your room opened, revealing a smiley Sebastian with a plate full of eggs in one hand and a cup of orange juice in the other.

“Good morning, baby.” You quickly shoved your phone away from you, wiping your tears away from your eyes to meet his. His brows furrowed immediately. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You snuffled quietly, before answering.

“Uh, nothing. I’m just so proud of you.” You smiled at him, not wanting to bring down his already happy mood with your problems. Was that entirely healthy? Probably not, but you were doing it anyway, consequences be damned.

“Oh, well you don’t have to cry for me, Y/N. Even if you’re proud.” He walked up to your side of the bed, placing the cup and plate on your nightstand. He brought his hand up to your cheeks, wiping away your tear streaks. “You know that I only like to see tears whenever it’s me causing you so much pleasure you beg me to stop.” He winked at you, smirking at your rising blush. To say that didn’t lift your spirits for about half a second would be a lie. Sebastian brought the plate to your lap, waiting for you to start eating. At this particular moment, after seeing all those horrible pictures of your body, your appetite had gone out the window, but he was so smiley.

“After you eat, I want ya to shower.” Sebastian’s hand came up to your jaw, cupping it as you used it to chew the eggs. “We’ve got a long day of lounging and enjoying each other's company ahead of us.” Sebastian stood from the bed, throwing a wink at you as he left the room dramatically. You stopped eating soon after he left, the food tasting like ash on your tongue. At some point, you got into the bathroom, staring at the reflection in the mirror.

Your phone was in your hand again. The pictures flooding your Twitter feed. Shaky breaths left your mouth as you watched your reflection tilt its head. Tears began gathering in your eyes as it felt like you weren’t in your own skin anymore. You had worked so hard to be comfortable in your own body.

It’s amazing how just one picture can ruin everything.

You leaned forward on the countertop, hands holding up your weight. You shifted towards the mirror, examining every miniscule detail that your eyes could see. Your lids came down quickly, tears dragging down your cheeks. You squeezed your eyes closed, shaking your head back and forth.

“You are not going to let this get to you.” You took a few deep breaths as you turned on the shower. Not wanting to be around the mirror anymore, you kept your bath short, talking to yourself the whole time. By the time you left the bathroom, it was steamed completely, you couldn’t see your reflection even if you wanted to.

“He loves you.” You had a mantra and you continued to repeat it as you walked into your shared closet. “He loves all of you.” You pulled one of his old t-shirts off a hanger. “Sebastian loves you.” A pair of your underwear and his loose boxers covered your lower half. “Sebastian loves all of you.” You shoved your feet into a pair of fuzzy pink socks, leaving the closet still muttering to yourself. You tucked your phone into your waistband after checking your socials again. You know you shouldn’t have, but there was some part of you that just wouldn’t let you not.

The same shit covered your For You page on TikTok. Videos from the trailer of Seb and Shailene and then videos of you and Seb, comparing the two relationships. “They do fit well together.” You thought to yourself. A part of you wondering why Seb was with you in the first place.

“Did you say something, love?” Sebastian looked at you from the couch. A blanket was strewn over his lower half, his upper body inviting, waiting for you to join him. His smile dropped when he took in your glassy eyes instead of your usual happy expression.

“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” He started towards you, eyes running over your body for any outward injuries. An understanding look crossed his face when he saw your phone clutched in your hand. “Y/N, talk to me, baby.” Sebastian’s hands rested on your shoulders, lightly caressing your biceps. You recoiled from his touch, feeling uncomfortable in your own body.

“Just some stuff that some fans posted.” Seb’s thumb traced just under your eye, wiping away the tears. He held his right hand out for your phone, to understand what you were talking about. His brows furrowed deeply as he scrolled, not fully processing how destructive his fans could be. Sebastian always believed that they were the best fucking people in the world. He knew that they could be mean, but this was something else.

“They don’t know what they’re talking about, Y/N.” Sebastian’s voice was firm. It was almost strong enough to cut through the fog invading your brain, but not quite. You had officially zoned out. Dead to the world. Lost in your own thoughts. No matter how destructive those thoughts may be.

Sebastian noticed that you were already too deep, having experienced this with you many times before. He was aware that you were self-conscious, insecure, however you want to describe it. Your anxiety always got worse when you were stressed. Prepping for your dissertation was definitely a stressful time. Add on top of that, Sebastian was constantly pulling you from your work for various reasons. Had he contributed to this? Scratch that thought, he didn’t have time for that. He needed to bring you back down to Earth, back to him.

“Y/N.” His hands hovered over your hips. “I’m going to touch you for a second.” He directed you to the couch, settling on the coffee table in front of you. His fingers lightly traced circles onto your knees, as he assessed how he should approach this.

“Y/N. Baby?” Sebastian hesitated before bringing his fingers up to your chin, not wanting you to react badly. “I’m right here, Y/N, it’s Sebastian.” His left hand hadn’t left your knee, continuing to trace small patterns into your skin, giving you something to ground yourself with. He watched you blink and swallow harshly, inhaling sharply before opening your mouth.

“Why are you with me?” Your chin trembled with unvoiced sobs. “You deserve the world, Seb. I’m not even--” Your sentence was cut off by a loud whimper causing tears to start streak down. Sebastian wasn’t sure if this was a situation where you wanted him to be involved, so he waited for a sign.

“I’m not even worth a glance from you.” Your hand came up to wipe at your runny nose. “They’re so right. You need to be with someone like Shailene.” A bitter sob racked your body, making your body fold in half. Sebastian caught you before you hurt yourself.

“Y/N. I love you.” He always heard you say that to yourself when you thought he wasn’t listening. He knew that you suffered from anxiety, so he was always watching. Always paying attention to your little cues. The little things that he could use to help you as much as he could. “I love all of you.” He held one of your hands, running his thumb over the back of it.

“I don’t care what they say, baby.” He lifted your face to his, steel blue eyes locking with your cloudy pair. “I picked you.” He pecked your right cheek. “I want you.” A peck to your left. “I want only you.” One to your forehead. “It’s always been you, Y/N.” Another on your chin. “I love all of you, Y/N.” Sebastian landed a final short kiss to your lips, lingering for only a second.

“I want you to understand something, Y/N.” His gaze never left you. “I’m not going anywhere.” His brows raised as he hardened his voice. “I’m especially not going anywhere at the behest of my fans. I love them to death, but they don’t get to decide who I love.” Sebastian shifted to sit next to you on the couch. “Is it okay if I put my arms around you?” All he got was a brief nod in return, which was expected.

“I’m yours, Y/N. As much as you’re mine.” His arms descended around you, wrapping you in a loving embrace. You turned to face him fully, bringing your own arms around his waist, shoving your head into his neck.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with all my shit, Seb.” Sebastian almost missed your comment because you spoke into his shoulder and through loud snuffles. He backed away to look you in the face.

“I signed up for this, Y/N. I’m here for whatever we go through.” He tucked a stray hair behind your ear. “We go through ‘your shit’ together, Y/N. This is a partnership, a two-way street.” He looked at the weak smile on your face, heart warming slightly at the sight. His face turned serious, casting a glance at your phone on the coffee table.

“How long have you been sitting on this?” He knew how quickly your mind could twist things, so he wasn’t sure what to expect. You bit your lip, not meeting his eyes anymore.

“Just since this morning.” He held you away from his body, watching your expression.

“Is this why you were crying earlier?” You gave him a meek nod in response. “Baby, I thought we talked about this. We have to talk to each other when we think we’re going to go into a funk.” The two of you had talked about it before, but you didn’t think this was going to be a funk.

“I should’ve been able to just shake this off because I know you love me and you won’t leave me because of something that some people on the Internet say.” The words left your mouth before you could process everything, your mind quick to defend itself.

“It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t always have to be able to shake something off. We just have to keep each other in the loop.” Sebastian looked over your tear-stained face, pressing a kiss to your forehead again. “Let’s ditch the phones today. Just spend the day in each other’s arms, how’s that sound?” You smiled softly, nodding at the man in front of you. He got up quickly hiding both of your phones in the kitchen somewhere.

This definitely wasn’t a solution to dealing with your anxiety, Sebastian knew that. It also wasn’t dealing with the toxic people on the Internet, but you didn’t need that right now. You needed to be immersed in an environment that accepted what you were going through without judgement, Sebastian could provide that. Seb hummed happily when you snuggled into his side under the covers on your couch while he searched for a movie. He kissed the top of your head and he felt you smile against his stomach.

“I’m proud of you, draga mea.” You turned to face him, a confused expression lacing your features.

“For what, Seb?” He stroked your face with a single finger, mapping out your features.

“I’m proud of how you handle yourself. I’m amazed at how strong you are, even when you think you’re not.” He leaned closer to you, whispering his next words. “You’re my hero.” One corner of your mouth twitched upwards, not wanting to accept it. You rolled your eyes playfully, settling back onto his stomach before speaking.

“I love you, Sebastian.”

“And I love you, Y/N.”

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

tagging: @lharrietg @awkward117 @dannaloureen @broccoligf @cutestfangirlvevo @caitdaniels @arymb @buckybarnesishot310 @roguesthetic @itsaliceheree @sara-1705 @dorothea-hwldr @freshfreakoaftrash @drinkfantasy @christinamcdonnell ​@partypoison00 ​ @90ssantiago

[marvelousell]

Marvelousell’s Masterlist

Hello everyone, so I finally made a masterlist where you can find all my work! I hope you all enjoy reading the fics as much as I enjoyed writing them! ❤️

Add yourself to my tag list

A kofi please? :)

Key:

💦 = smut

⚡️ = angst

🌸 = fluff

✨ = personal favourite

🌪 = s+a+f

If there’s a ** next to a work it means that the writing is about the actor’s character that they’ve played (e.g Peter Parker)

Updated 07/19/20

One-shots

Please, love 💦 ⚡️

↳ Summary: The reader is not ready for her first time with Tom, but they still have some fun together

↳ Pairing: Tom x Female reader

Hold me ⚡️🌸

↳ Summary: The reader has a physical abusement past that Tom doesn’t know about. During a heated argument with Tom you can’t help but remember every bad moment from the past

↳ Pairing: Tom x Female reader

Kiss it better 🌪

↳ Summary: After a long and stressful day at work, Tom let his anger out on you during sex. Tom feels sorry after it, showing you how much he cares

↳ Pairing: Tom x Female reader

Dear princess 🌸 **

↳ Summary: Peter dating an Asgardian princess, sister of Thor and Loki

↳ Pairing: Peter Parker x Odinson!sister

Long days 💦

↳ Summary: Lockdown can be pretty boring, but your roommate Tom can make everything more enjoyable

↳ Pairing: Roommate!Tom x Female reader

Help me out 💦 🌸 ✨

↳ Summary: Mob!Tom shows you who you belong to after putting a show for him with a not so typical interrogation

↳ Pairings: Mob!Tom x Mob!reader, Mob!Seb x Mob!reader

Coconut & Vanilla evenings 💦 🌸

↳ Summary: An evening massage session with Tom leads to slow and sensual sex

↳ Pairing: Tom x Female reader

New girl ⚡️ 🌸

↳ Summary: CEO!Tom defends the new intern that caught his eye in his company

↳ Pairing: CEO!Tom x Intern!reader

Blurbs

Birthday vacay 💦

↳ Summary: Tom surprises you with a vacation for your birthday to Guadeloupe and you show him how thankful you really are

↳ Pairing: Tom x Female reader

Scotch & Mint 💦

↳ Summary: CEO!Tom finally makes a move on his favourite coworker showing her how insane she makes him feel

↳ Pairing: CEO!Tom x Female reader

Bubble bath & kisses 🌸

↳ Summary: After an exhausting day Tom comes home to you that can only make him feel relaxed, the bubble bath was just a bonus

↳ Pairing: Tom x Female reader

My little Spanish girl 💦 **

↳ Summary: Peter loves to hear you speak Spanish during sex

↳ Pairing: Peter Parker x Spanish!reader

Can we? Pt 2. ⚡️

↳ Summary: After sharing the news with your boyfriend, both of you are in a situation where you need to figure out what you want and need in your life

↳ Pairing: Tom x Pregnant!reader

Headcanons

Let me see them 💦

↳ Summary: Tom reacting to your surprise aka your new nipple piercings

↳ Pairing: Tom x Female reader

Series

The Agreement 🌪 [ongoing]

Pt 1. // Pt 2. // Pt 3. // Pt 4. // Pt 5. // Pt 6. // Pt 7. // Pt 8. // Pt 9. // Pt 10. // Pt 11. // Pt 12. // Pt 13. // Pt 14. // Pt 15.

↳ Summary: Tom is a typical frat boy, his love for partying, drinks and girls are bigger than his ego. Y/N is a whole different dimension, she keeps her circle small, and even though she knows her best friend Tom is a total douche, she can’t say no to the little deal that was sealed between the two of them

↳ Pairings: Frat Boy!Fwb!Tom x Female reader, Frat Boy!Harrison x Female reader

One-shots

Surprises 💦

↳ Summary: The sexy photoshoot of yours that was a surprise for Sebastian caught the attention of his colleagues, making Sebastian jealous

↳ Pairing: Sebastian x Model!reader

Help me out 💦 🌸 ✨

↳ Summary: Mob!Tom shows you who you belong to after putting a show for him with a not so typical interrogation

↳ Pairings: Mob!Tom x Mob!reader, Mob!Seb x Mob!reader

Solutions 💦

↳ Summary: After you couldn’t find the book you needed for your assignment your Literature Professor helps you out with it and with something more

↳ Pairing: Professor!Seb x Student!reader

Blurbs

Tell me about your day 💦 🌸 ✨

↳ Summary: Cockwarming with Sebastian after a long day at work

↳ Pairing: Mob!Seb x Female reader

Be a good doll 💦

↳ Summary: Jealous Sebastian and spanking

↳ Pairing: Sebastian x Female reader

Headcanons

Curiosity killed the cat 💦

↳ Summary: Jealous sex with Mob!Seb

↳ Pairing: Mob!Seb x Female Reader

One-shots

Green with envy 💦 ✨

↳ Summary: Being close to both Henry and Chris, your co-stars was amazing. After a hot make out scene for the movie with Henry, Chris finally shows you who you belong to revealing his feelings

↳ Pairings: Chris x Female reader, Henry x Female reader

Bippity, boppity, baby 🌸

↳ Summary: You and Dodger made a surprise for your husband Chris to announce your pregnancy to him

↳ Pairing: Chris x Pregnant!reader

Keep it in your mind 💦

↳ Summary: Chris gets jealous when a co-star flirts with you during an award show

↳ Pairings: Chris x Female reader, Henry x Female reader

Show me 💦 **

↳ Summary: After a long day at work Andy just wants you to relax starting with a drink at his house

↳ Pairing: Andy Barber x Female reader

Lemonade 💦 **

↳ Summary: A marriage that is full of lies and infidelity makes you realize how Andy is the one you need [Based on the song Lemonade by Nicole Dollanganger]

↳ Pairing: Andy Barber x Wife!reader

You only 💦**

↳ Summary: Two different sides that Steve owns with his girl

↳ Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female reader

Headcanons

Stuck inside 🌸 💦

↳ Summary: You, Chris, Dodger and Scott stuck inside the house during quarantine

↳ Pairing: Chris x Female Reader

Blurbs

Be mine 💦 **

↳ Summary: Andy showing his girl how much he really likes her and how much he wants her to be only his [Based on the song Dirty Mind by Boy Epic]

↳ Pairing: Andy Barber x Bartender!reader

Rendezvous 💦✨ **

↳ Summary: Soft touches, intimate moments and secret Rendezvous with Andy Barber [Based on the song Rendezvous by Miss Benny]

↳ Pairing: Andy Barber x Female reader

I’m your Doll 💦 **

↳ Summary: CEO!Andy showing his favourite bartender how much he enjoys her company [Based on the song I’m Your Doll by FKA twings]

↳ Pairing: CEO!Andy x Bartender!reader

Safe place 🌸 **

↳ Summary: Steve and the reader taking care of each other

↳ Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female reader

One-shots

Green with envy 💦 ✨

↳ Summary: Being close to both Henry and Chris, your co-stars was amazing. After a hot make out scene for the movie with Henry, Chris finally shows you who you belong to revealing his feelings

↳ Pairings: Chris x Female reader, Henry x Female reader

Keep it in your mind 💦

�� Summary: Chris gets jealous when a co-star flirts with you during an award show

↳ Pairings: Chris x Female reader, Henry x Female reader

One-shots

All in one night 🌸 ✨

↳ Summary: After years of dating, Tom wanted you to be his lovely wife and to start a family with you. Little did he know that both will come true just in one night

↳ Pairing: Tom x Pregnant!reader

Just the three of us 🌸

↳ Summary: Tom showing you how much he loves you and the baby growing inside of you, even if it wasn’t planned

↳ Pairing: Tom x Pregnant!reader

Blurbs

Family portrait 🌸

↳ Summary: Dad!Tom being proud of his daughters first drawing

↳ Pairing: Dad!Tom x Daughter, Tom x Female reader

One-shots

My dearest ⚡️

↳ Summary: Harrison realises how his past actions were wrong after seeing you in a wedding dress

↳ Pairing: Harrison x Female reader

Headcanons

Social distancing 🌸 💦

↳ Summary: How you and Harrison spend time in his apartment during quarantine

↳ Pairing: Harrison x Female reader

Crushes 💦

↳ Summary: Harrison gets jealous because of your little crush on Harry Styles

↳ Pairing: Harrison x Female reader, Harry Styles x Female reader

Anniversary troubles 💦

↳ Summary: Troubles that both you and Harrison face during your 3 years anniversary in the house you share with the boys

↳ Pairing: Harrison x Female reader

With you 🌸💦

↳ Summary: Harrison and the reader trying for a baby

↳ Pairing: Harrison x Wife!reader

Series

The Agreement 🌪 [ongoing]

Pt 1. // Pt 2. // Pt 3. // Pt 4. // Pt 5. // Pt 6. // Pt 7. // Pt 8. // Pt 9. // Pt 10. // Pt 11. // Pt 12. // Pt 13. // Pt 14. // Pt 15.

↳ Summary: Tom is a typical frat boy, his love for partying, drinks and girls are bigger than his ego. Y/N is a whole different dimension, she keeps her circle small, and even though she knows her best friend Tom is a total douche, she can’t say no to the little deal that was sealed between the two of them

↳ Pairings: Frat Boy!Fwb!Tom x Female reader, Frat Boy!Harrison x Female reader

Headcanons

Lazy days 💦 🌸

↳ Summary: How you and Calum spend your free day inside

↳ Pairing: Calum x Female reader

Blurbs

Sweet mornings 💦

↳ Summary: Lazy morning sex with Calum

↳ Pairing: Calum x Female reader

Blurbs

I’m here 🌸

↳ Summary: Grayson takes care of you when a bad migraine ruins your day

↳ Pairing: Grayson x Female reader

Always by your side 🌸

↳ Summary: How Grayson helps you to calm your anxiety

↳ Pairing: Grayson x Female reader

Headcanons

Crushes 💦

↳ Summary: Harrison gets jealous because of your little crush on Harry Styles

↳ Pairing: Harrison x Female reader, Harry Styles x Female reader

[turtlegirlave]

So this has a ton of opinions which I usually stray away from but i really let all my opinions out here. Also there is definitely fact mistakes, probably name mistakes and some incorrect singing terms in here, I wrote this at 2 A.M. with a limited knowledge of theater I’m just trying to get a point across.

Why s2 of hsm the series should have been newsies instead of beauty and the beast:

They say straight up in the show “we need a real Alan Menkhen musical” and they pick beauty and the beast instead of newsies, a literal Broadway stage production???

At first I assumed it was because the cast was primarily male, but that isn’t even a reasonable argument. 1)as shown by s1 when a boy played sharpay, gender doesn’t matter when being considered for a role. 2), a cast with multiple male leads would give the gay men in the show a chance to shine, instead of shoving them to background roles like Chip. Not to mention Carlos is a dancer, and newsies is a musical driven by choreography. 3), since nini moved there are only like 2 lead females anyway, which works for the 2 female roles in newsies.

Casting Wise, the play works SO MUCH better!

Ricky: jack kelley is a much better role for him than the beast for many reasons. First, their personalities are very similar with the mischievous main teen vibe, so the role would be like Troy where Ricky can slip into it easier. Second, it fits him better vocally. It is very clear from listening to Joshua basset sing that he has a relatively high vocal range, and singing low notes or in a deep voice doesn’t come as naturally to him. Jeremy Jordan has a similar vocal range, where he stays in higher octaves and more rarely uses a deep, monotone voice (at least never to the beast’s extent). Ricky would sound perfect singing in Jack’s vocal range. The beast, however, sings almost exclusively in an extremely deep, monotone voice that Joshua cannot easily perform.

Ashlyn: not only does she look quite similar to Katherine, but they have similar personalities as well. Also, katherine’s high and bubbly singing voice would sound lovely with Ash’s, which is also high and bubbly but often softer. This would allow her to push herself to sing louder and more confidently. And she still gets to play a smart bookworm lead female role.

Kourtney: she was born to play miss medda larken. Mrs. Potts’ debut song “beauty and the beast” is a soft romance ballad, which does not match kourt’s stadium reach, strong, powerful voice. “That’s rich” not only shows off her vocals better, but matches her personality and voice much better with the grit and power behind it. Also, Mrs Potts as a character is the soft, motherly type. Miss medda is a rambunctious, empowered, “I got men if I want em but I don’t need em” kinda woman. Which role better fits the girl power, loud, activist, personal cheer squad type person that Kourtney is?

Carlos and Sebastian: not only would this stop shoving the gays and only interesting men other than Ricky to background roles (sorry big red), but it would show off their talents. Seb would make a wonderful crutchy, with his innocent nature and likeness to the character. It would also give him a chance to flex his vocals and sing a duet with Ricky in Santa Fe, further developing the friendships in the show. Carlos could play really any of the main boys, I mostly think he would kill in this due to his dance and choreography skills, which newsies really emphasizes.

Big red: PLEASE this boy would be perfect as Ben Cook’s role (can’t remember the newsie’s name). They’re both the kinda dumb but endearing friend type, and he leads “king of New York”, a song with a killer tap dancing break, which is the whole reason big red wanted to try out! His chemistry with Ricky as crutchy would make that a fine role for him too, but since Sebastian has stronger vocals I think it’s better for him to take a more prominent role while big red relies on his dancing skills over singing.

Gina: though there’s no more lead girl roles, I think she would kill it as mr. Pulitzer. They could add some spice to the character through her insane dance skills, and she would play a great “cunning yet intelligent buisinesswoman” type. This dude also gets 2 or 3 songs, and honestly I don’t remember who she plays in Beauty and the beast so idk.

EJ: I admit Gaston is a perfect role for him and I can’t fit him into newsies well. He would play a good spot conlin, though it is a significantly smaller role. No one really cares about ej though so small loss.

Plot valuability:

doing newsies makes literally way more sense. Firstly, they are kinda planning entering this show last-minute compared to the competition, so to pick a show already written and choreographed for stage production would really save time. (Even though it would still need work to be condensed for a high school production). Second, miss Jen is so determined to stand out from the crowd and win the contest so she picks... beauty and the beast? One of the most popular Disney movies (and honestly with one of Alan’s weaker soundtracks compared to tangled, Aladdin, and the little mermaid imo). Having them do newsies, especially when switching up gender roles like casting Gina as Pulitzer, would actually make them stand apart from the dozens of schools performing Disney movies. It would also give a significantly more impressive vocal and dance performance, since the songs were written for Broadway singers rather than actors. The set is also more cheap and condensed, while still looking professional, which would help with their “we’re too poor and late to afford a straight-up aquarium so let’s do the most with what we’ve got.” Putting the characters in these roles would also not alter their development or main story plots much, besides strengthening certain friendships and pushing aside less popular characters (ej). It would also give more rep for the gays as well as switching up gender roles. Imagine, the gay guys get actual things to do in the show and aren’t defined by the sole plot of “my boyfriend rich” relationship drama! (I love these two but I am a tired ace). Also jerjor performs in both this and tangled the series, so it’s a double whammy for Alan menkhen representation.

Marketability: I know the musical has to be widely known and appealing to viewers. People watched s1 because they love hsm. People also love beauty and the beast, so viewership may raise with fans of the movie. Newsies doesn’t die here, though. It is a very widely popular play among theatre people, and existed first as a movie musical so it isn’t exclusive to theater kids. Also, fans of Newsies are generally between their tweens and early twenties, the exact age demographic for the show. Beauty and the beast is a classic and more widely known, but also doesn’t draw in large numbers of the exact age group you want. Also, the fact that newsies is a little less mainstream only helps the plot point of them choosing it to still have something well known while also standing out from the competition. Doing beauty and the beast is not only an awful choice for casting that limits the actors vocals or is completely out of their range, but it also makes them blend in with the crowd.

Final notes: beauty and the beast was IMO the worst choice for the play this season. Movies like Aladdin and tangled both have very energetic and loud soundtracks that allow these characters to belt their hearts out. Beauty and the beast has a very folksy, quiet, ballad type of track that limits the actors. The only actor that I think sings ballads better than big booming tracks is Nini, who isn’t even in the play this year. Ricky also sings great ballads, which is why ballads that are still slow but also emotional and powerful like “Santa fe” or “something to believe in” (which would sound AMAZING in his and Ashlyn’s voices) fit much better than the deep voice of the beast that he can not comfortably sing in. Also, the beast has very few songs whereas newsies would allow him to belt his heart out in nearly every song with that lovely voice he has. The age range of the newsies cast (that characters are supposed to be 17) fits better with these very teen actors than a movie about old fashioned French young adults. Really newsies was the best musical choice for this season, but I also believe beauty and the beast was the last one they should have chosen.

(After reading comments I rescind my statement that beauty and the beast was the worst choice, but it’s still second to newsies imo)

Feel free to debate me in the comments or point out my mistakes, I’m very open to other points of view

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 37

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap

A/N: this chapter is gonna be the last one and i think i’m gonna need therapy for attachment. finished this chapter after seeing seb’s baby pictures and now i think i need double the therapy. hope you enjoy this chapter, it has been such a pleasure to write for you, it’s been my absolute honour to read all the comments and to offer you this story. thank you so so much for all your support x

A YEAR LATER

Y/N woke up in her bedroom with the sounds of birds chirping, the signs that another spring day was starting to wake up in Paris. Extending her arms, she remained under her weighted blanket for a while, watching the chandelier above their bed. It had been a wedding present from her mother’s part of the family and while both her and Sebastian thought it was a bit too much, they eventually got their contractor to install it in their bedroom in their Paris apartment. It had taken a bit of time to get used to but now she had the ritual of waking up and watching the sun create little rainbows through the clear crystal of the chandelier.

After she felt her awake status surround her whole being, she left her bed, grabbing her dressing gown and wrapping herself around it before taking to the room next to her. Slowly and carefully, she pulled on the handle of the door down, opening it. Her eyes came in contact with the peaceful grey colours of the walls slightly decorated with small little ivory coloured clouds. Coming in closer, she let her hips slightly hit the white crib where the one year old was standing, wide awake with the ear of Sebastian’s old toy bunny, Oreo, in his mouth. 

    - Hello my little bunny. - she smiled down at her son who, recognising his mother’s voice, immediately started to giggle, extending his arms up to be picked up by her. Y/N merely smiled, extending her own arms towards his crib to pick him and hold him against her chest. - Let’s go have breakfast. Can you say breakfast?

    - Dada. - he said with a smile that showed he was proud of himself. She rolled her eyes at the word, if there was something Sebastian had done perfectly was make sure their son’s first word would be dada and while Y/N had been trying to make sure Nate spoke anything else, he only proudly said dada much to her nuisance. Y/N merely smiled as she rolled her eyes, getting him off his grey onesie and into a white shirt with little train drawings and some dark jean overalls. - Dada, dada!

    - Say mumma. - she laughed, holding him close as she took to the kitchen where Amelia was starting to cook some breakfast. - Mumma. 

    - Dadda! - he broke out in laughter, wrapping his chubby arms around his mother’s neck. Y/N merely smiled, sitting down on her chair and pulling the high chair with her foot, popping the tray off so she could sit the baby down who was never happy whenever she strapped him to his high chair which is why Sebastian normally did it himself, but as of today he was still in New York dealing with some business transaction gone wrong. Normally Y/N would’ve travelled along with him but ever since Nate had been born, she had been paranoid someone would try and harm him.

    - Morning, Mrs. Stan. - Amelia placed a plate of Y/N’s favourite breakfast, poached egg on mushrooms in front of her and a blue plate of slice bananas in front of baby Nate whose hands immediately went for the slices. - Are you sure you don’t want me to bake the cake for baby Nathaniel?

   - Your holiday started yesterday, Amelia. You shouldn’t even be here.

  - It’s baby Nathaniel’s birthday. 

  - So it isn’t due to my husband? - she raised an eyebrow at the maid. - You don’t need to worry about me, I’ll be fine. 

  - Mr. Stan is worried.

  - Mr. Stan is always worried. - to say that Sebastian had upped security since the ill fated Mr. Williams incident was an understatement. If Y/N left the house to go to the bakery, four armed men would follow her around with one in front, one in the back and two on each side. Yet, that was nothing compared to when Nathaniel went outside. She guessed it was a regular thing, after all her small little ball of sunshine was the one who would one of day solely inherit her mother’s fortune, her father’s family and Sebastian’s too. Either way, he was excessive with protection and she should’ve guessed he wouldn’t have allowed her to be alone with their son for a long while. Before she could try and convince the hardworking full time maid to take her much deserved holiday, Nate grabbed his plastic plate, smashing his face against the banana slices making her choke in a laugh. - Alright bunny, that’s enough bananas. 

  - Don’t be upset at him, Mrs. Stan. 

 - I won’t if you take your holiday. - Y/N pushed her plate away from her, walking to her son’s high chair. Nate extended his chubby arms towards her, cooing to be removed from it which she complied to, holding him to her chest as she walked over to the living room that was filled with toys and other things belonging to Nate. He was spoiled but in this Y/N couldn’t completely blame Sebastian as she could be even as bad as him when it came to fullfilling her son’s requests. 

Placing him on his baby matt, Nate turned onto his belly crawling over to her mother’s knees, looking up at her with a look that could only be described as cheeky. Y/N lowered to her knees, watching as Nathaniel crawled around happily with his toy bunny. He still didn’t say much and was still learning to how to walk, instead putting himself up on his legs, holding onto the couch before eventually collapsing to the ground. Speaking of which, the one year hold grasped onto the white leather and pulling himself off the ground and on his chubby legs, the other hand firmly gripping onto the bunny’s ears.

   - Do you wanna try and walk all the way to mumma? - she asked the blue eyed baby who looked away from her and back again. - Go on, come to mumma.

Nate looked at her with confusion, the eyes he had definitely inherited from his father looking around the room almost as if he was preparing to fall into a pit of fire. With Oreo clenched by the ear, he let go of the couch, standing on his chubby baby legs. Before he could take another step, he went tumbling towards the ground yet Y/N was faster than that, moving so she could catch her baby before he got hurt. As he collapsed on her lap, he turned his head up to look at his mother, pouty lips and tear filled eyes. 

    - It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. - she pushed the brown curls away from his face, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. - It’s okay, mumma will always be here to catch you. 

    - Mumma. - he babbled, burying his head on her chest.

    - What did you say? - she looked down in disbelief but before the baby could say it again the front door opened, a very familiar voice coming through.

   - Where’s the birthday boy? - Y/N rolled her eyes, picking Nate up and getting up before walking to the entrance where Sebastian was taking his jacket off, placing away his gun before his wife could complain to him about weapons near the baby. His eyes shined with pride as he watched Y/N stand in front of him, holding their son on her arms, who had taken to hide his face in the middle of her hair. - Someone’s shy today.

   - Guess what. - she walked closer to him, pecking him quickly. - Nate said mumma. 

   - No way. - Sebastian cooed at his son, caressing the top of his head. - You can say mumma, little buddy?

   - Dadda! - Nate shrilled out of pure joy, extending his arms towards him which Sebastian gladly took, kissing the side of his head. 

    - You know, Seb, next time you ask the maid to watch over me at least let me know. - she leaned against him, head on his shoulder. - My father’s security can handle me and Nate when you’re not around, I told you that a million times.

   - Can you blame me for wanting you and him to be safe? 

   - No, I can however blame you for making the hardworking maid work overtime. - she smirked. - How’s New York?

   - It’s rather bleak when you’re not there. 

   - Did you speak with my father? - she questioned, fully knowing Sebastian would probably be questioned by her family back in New York at arrival.

   - Yes and both him and Dan think it’s rude that they’re not invited to Nate’s birthday. 

    - Nate’s not getting a big birthday party, I told them.

    - I know, angel, but you know how much your father likes this little bunny. - Sebastian smiled at his son who had taking to munching his jacket’s collar, eyes looking into the ones exactly like his. - Pretty sure the only reason I’m not dead is because I’m his dad. 

    - C’mon, we need to take Nate’s cake out of the fridge and sing happy birthday before his nap time.

    - It’s his birthday, angel. Can’t he skip night time?

   - Sure, he can. However if he does then we lose night time fun as you’ll be the one to check on him when he tries to climb out the crib. 

   - Birthday cake time it is.  - he followed Y/N into the kitchen, placing his son on his play matt. The baby rolled around, hands gripping several of his toys while his father went to the kitchen, wrapping his arms around his wife’s waist, placing a kiss on her shoulder. - Did you miss me? 

    - Of course I did. - she turned around to kiss him, hands on top of his shoulders as if they hadn’t seen each other in years. - It gets awfully cold when you’re alone in a king size bed. 

   - Mhm, it does get very cold, doesn’t it? - his hands toyed around with the string that held her wrap up dress in place. - Does our son’s birthday also count as my birthday?

  - Why would it count as your birthday? - she furrowed her brows.

  - It’s the anniversary of when I became a father and I think I deserve a little present. - he leaned down to kiss her neck.

  - Well, I think th ...

  - MUMMA! - the babyish voice coming from the living room interrupted her sentence and made Y/N look over Sebastian’s shoulder to see Nate standing on his chubby legs as he took a few small steps towards the kitchen table. 

  - Oh my god. - she ducked under Sebastian’s hold to meet her son midway, grabbing the polaroid camera on the way to take a photo before he fell down or decided to sit down. - You’re walking. Nate, you’re walking!

   - What? - Sebastian turned around, joining his wife who was now sat on the ground with her arms opened towards Nate who quickly walked over to her before falling on top of her chest. - He walked, he just walked!

   - I know. - Y/N picked the baby up, kissing his little fat cheeks. - I’m so proud of you, I’m so proud of you baby Nate.

   - I can’t believe he’s walking already. We need another one.

   - Sebastian, we just had one. 

   - Yeah but he’s walking and he can say mumma and dadda. In no time he’ll be going off to university and won’t want snuggles anymore. 

   - Honey, Nate can’t say anything other than mumma and dadda, is still eating soft solids, and he doesn’t even have all his teeth yet. He won’t be going to university any time soon.

  - No, I think we need another one. A girl this time, so we have one of each.

  - Seb, darling, I don’t think that’s how it works. Besides, wouldn’t you rather wait til Nate is a bit older and doesn’t require attention all the time?

    - I know, it’s just that looking at you with our son makes me want to have at least 10 more kids.

    - I won’t push 10 more kids. - she laughed, kissing his cheek before looking down to Nate who was cuddling her and his bunny. - For now, for now I have everything I could have ever dreamed of.

   - Should we get that cake then? 

   - It’s in the fridge. - Y/N carefully got up, holding her precious baby close to her chest as Sebastian went and grabbed the little cupcake. The ex handmaid placed her son on his high chair as Sebastian put the little cupcake in front of him, lighting a single candle with his lighter which immediately caught the attention of small Nate whose eyes widened in pure joy and curiosity. 

The mob boss wrapped his arm around his wife, kissing the side of her head before the two of them started singing Happy Birthday to little Nate who was clearly more interested in the flame of his candle. Once the song came to an end, both of them cheered, clapping at the baby who looked at his parents in confusion.

  - C’mon, Nate blow the candle. - Sebastian took to be by his son’s side, making a blow motion with his lips. Nate merely turned to his mother, confused at his father’s actions. 

   - Why don’t we do it together? - Y/N stood by her son’s other side, blowing the candle together with Sebastian while Nate giggled, clapping his hands out of pure joy. - Happy Birthday, sweetheart. Mumma loves you, dadda loves you.

The rest of the day went rather uneventful, with Nate making both his parents laugh as he decided to eat the cupcake with his hands, getting his cheeks full of chocolate. He remained awake for a few hours, playing with his father while Y/N read one of her books in the couch, wondering how she’d gotten so lucky to have such a precious son and such a loving husband. As night began to make its presence known and the birthday boy became grumpy, Y/N put him back in his crib returning to the living room to see Sebastian standing on their balcony watching the Tower Eiffel’s lights. Without him noticing, she walked behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso, allowing herself to be involved by the scent of his cologne.

   - Hello there, Mrs. Stan. - he turned around in her embrace, hand going to hold hers. - How about a dance?

   - I can never say no to you, Mr. Stan.

He leaned his head to rest against the space between her neck and shoulder, free hand holding her waist as the two of them moved slowly from side to side. In that moment, no money belonging to her or to him, no empire he’d built or family she inherited mattered for in that moment he had his whole world in his arms and that ... that was enough. 

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​​ @xoxohannahlee​​ @nikkipea​​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​​ @madisonpillstrom​​ @cevans98​​ @thelostallycat​​ @sideeffectsofyou​​ @anxiousdreamersworld​​ @captainchrisstan​​ @lookiamtrying​​ @sarge-barnes-sir​​ @stuffforreferences​​ @thebadassbitchqueen​​ @sebastianstansqueen​​ @nsfwsebbie​​ @strangerliaa​​ @emzd34​​ @everything-is-awesomesauce​​ @dreams-in-blxck​​ @krismeunicornbaobei​​ @buckysteveloki-me​

[kurts-still-here]

They Can See Right Through Me Glee TOT Challenge FanFiction

@celery-elliry @useless-fanfictions @gleethisorthatchallenge

Hi everyone, this is my third fic for the Glee TOT Challenge and the prompt I choose was “Have you been taking take of yourself?”  because it was perfect for angst and I love angst. Hope everyone enjoys and tells me what they thought of it etheir on here, A03 OR FanFiction.Net. Happy reading 🤗🤗😁😁

Archive Of Our Own

FanFiction.Net

The first time the Warblers had seen Kurt was in the dining hall during lunch. They had heard rumors all that week about a new transfer student and were dying to know who it was. Not that they were gossipy or anything but maybe this kid could be another member to their show choir group. They were always looking for new members, they just had to be good enough to get in.

They had been sitting at the designated lunch table for all the Warblers when Sebastian had walked over to them, hand in hand with another boy that they had never seen before. The first thing the group noticed was how cute the boy was. He was very good looking with pale, smooth skin, blue eyes and perfectly styled hair. He held himself upright with confidence but his face told a different story. His eyes were frantic, like he was afraid that someone was going to jump out and attack him at any minute.

The second thing they noticed was how Sebastian and the boy were holding hands and then they thought that maybe the new kid was scared because of Sebastian. Sebastian wasn’t the most… how would you say it… gentle person. Even though he was their friend, Sebastian was arrogant and obnoxious and very straight forward. And his straight forwardness may have scared the new kid off.

“Hi Seb,” Jeff greeted him as Sebastian sat down next to him. He had let go of the new kid’s hand so he just stood there looking very out of place. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is Kurt,” He informed the group, reaching out his hand so that Kurt would come sit with him. “He’s new here,”

“I’ve heard of you before,” Trent said, excitedly. “You’re from McKinley.”

“Yeah, Kurt Hummel, right?” Thad asked him in which Kurt just slightly nodded his head. “You were apart of the New Directions,”

“That’s right and I’ve persuaded him to try out for the Warblers,” Sebastian beamed proudly. “Isn’t that right babe?” Kurt nodded his head again.

“Oh,” Wes said, raising his eyebrows at the other Warblers when Sebastian’s head was turned. So Kurt was “babe”? It wasn’t that Wes was homophobic or anything, in fact he was bisexual. No, it was just that Sebastian didn’t really seem like boyfriend material to him. He just hoped that Sebastian wouldn’t do anything stupid to break Kurt’s heart.

“That’s amazing,” Jeff exclaimed. “You're amazing Kurt. I watched your cheerleading performance at Nationals on TV last year. You were great,” Kurt just gave him a small smile before looking back to Sebastian.

The Warblers continued talking to one another about various subjects and one by one they subtly noticed how uncomfortable Kurt seemed. He was looking down at his hands, fidgeting with them and he seemed very nervous. They guessed that he was just shy or something like that and didn’t think much about it once they saw him. He would soon learn that they were all nice and trusting and soon they would become great friends.

Sebastian was the only person to confront Kurt. He took one of his hands so that he would stop and realize what he was doing before leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “You seem nervous,”

“I’m fine,” Kurt whispered back, still looking down. “I’m sorry, I’m probably embarrassing you in front of your friends,”

“What no,” Sebastian assured him. “You aren’t embarrassing me. They love you already, I can tell.” Kurt still didn’t seem convinced though so Sebastian continued to hold his hand, comforting him while not drawing any attention to him. Sebastian was more gentle than people gave him credit for.

Kurt was an odd fellow. He wasn’t weird like a nerd or a dork, he was just quiet and shy but sometimes he was too quiet and shy and it made it seem like he had a problem with people or something.

Kurt was an amazing singer. Later that day when the Warblers had met him, Kurt had auditioned for their group singing “I Want To Hold Your Hand” and his performance was outstanding. The emotion he put into his audition gave him a standing ovation and at the end of it he was near to tears. They would’ve been crazy to deny him into joining so they automatically accepted him and gave him Pavarotti, their mascot.

To say Kurt loved the bird was an understatement because Kurt took the bird with him everywhere. The bird’s cage was always on his desk during classes, always next to his bag on the floor at lunch and was always on his table with him when he did his homework. Kurt would take the bird out of his cage and would let him crawl on his finger while the bird sang. Kurt hummed along with him and everyone thought it was really cute.

Kurt didn’t really interact with everyone besides Sebastian and the bird. Sebastian was always holding hands with Kurt, they went everywhere together and the Warblers had never seen him so caring and kind towards another person before, they didn’t even know that it was possible. But then there was the couple, walking down the hallway hand in hand or kissing in the dorm room and it was really sweet. They only wished that Kurt would be more open with them so that they could get to know him better.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t tried to talk to Kurt because they had, it was just that they had given up. They would try to interact with him during the classes they shared or in their shared dorm room after classes but Kurt would just reply to them asking how his day was before returning his attention back to his work. And they knew that Kurt was trying to be rude or anything because he seemed way too sweet to do that but then they just wished that he knew that he could talk to them. It couldn’t be easy to transfer to a new school in the middle of the new semester, leaving all your friends behind and being hours away from your family. It just made them question why Kurt had come to Dalton in the first place.

They assumed that the two things, Kurt not talking to anyone and transferring were connected to each other but how, they didn’t know. So they let Kurt sit with them and they continued to ask how he was doing and if he needed anything in the hopes that he would open up more but he never did.

One day Kurt and Sebastian came to sit down with them at lunch like they usually did everyday when the group noticed something new about Kurt. He never ate anything. He would choose a small salad or a bowl of fruit to eat but would end up just pecking at it like he was Pavarotti. They didn’t really think much of it, just that maybe he had lost his appetite due to being upset about being away from everyone that he knew or that it had something to do with nerves so they didn’t question it or bring it up to Sebastian.

Sebastian however, noticed it and knew the reason behind it and it wasn’t just nerves. Kurt had a slight eating problem. It wasn’t much of a disorder, it was just that when he was under stress Kurt would stop eating. And it appeared to him that Kurt had been stressed for a long time seeing how thin and sickly he looked. You really had to look for it to notice it but Kurt was far too skinny. His uniform looked baggy and loose when he wore it and when he wasn’t in his uniform he wore pajama pants or sweatpants and a t-shirt or a hoodie. And it wasn’t like it was a crime or like it was abnormal for one to wear those pieces of clothing because all the boys wore things like that but the clothes that Kurt wore never fit him right, they were too big. And his facial structure was sharp, a little too sharp and his eyes were sunken in, giving him dark bags under his eyes that he had to cover with makeup. He was adorable to Sebastian but he would admit that Kurt was not the picture of health.

So Sebastian tried to help him. He would remind Kurt subtly to eat something even if it wasn’t much and would try to reduce the amount of stress his boyfriend felt even though his methods rarely ever worked. That day in particular was when David noticed that Kurt’s behavior was something more serious.

He had been conversing with Nick and Wes about potential ideas for group numbers for Regionals when his eyes drifted over to Kurt and Sebastian who were quietly talking to one another. He rarely ever heard Kurt speak which was probably why he was drawn to the scene and why he eavesdropped on their conversation.

Kurt had been staring at a granola bar that Sebastian had placed in front of him like it was poisonous or like it would attack him if he touched it. His eyes were wide and it seemed like he was trying to distance himself from the food as much as possible. Sebastian was sitting right next to Kurt with a comforting, encouraging hand on Kurt’s shoulder, trying to persuade him to eat.

“Come on Kurt,” Sebastian said. “You have to eat something,”

“I’m not hungry,” Kurt whispered back, once again fidgeting with his hands.

“You told me that at breakfast,” Sebastian reminded him and Kurt sighed. “Please, for me. You can do it,”

Kurt shook his head.

“Well can you tell me what’s bothering you then? Why you’re so worried today,”

“It’s nothing,” Kurt told him, his voice breaking a little, “I just miss them and they’re ignoring me,”

“Well what did you do?” Sebastian asked, rubbing Kurt’s back. “Not that you did anything wrong but why would they ignore you? I thought they were your friends,”

“It’s not important,” Kurt said. “I don’t want to talk about it but I’m not hungry,”

“It’s important if it’s bothering you babe. I want to help you. What did they do?”

“I have to go,” Kurt suddenly said, turning around to grab his bag and the bird cage. “Will you come with me?”

“Of course,” Sebastian said, standing up with Kurt and taking his hand. David had met eyes with Sebastian and had raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner as if to ask if Kurt was okay but Sebastian just smiled at him and waved his hand as if to assure David that he was fine. But David knew that he was lying because Kurt wasn’t okay, not if he was so stressed to the point that he was starving himself. So he decided that he would look out for Kurt and that maybe he could find a way to help him out. To find a way to make him feel more at home and welcome at Dalton or to make him feel more calm and relaxed. Kurt was a Warbler now and they were a tight group. They were all friends and they all looked out for each other to make sure they were okay. Kurt wasn’t any different to them.

Kurt had been at Dalton for a month now and it was Regionals. The competition was being held at McKinley and everyone could tell that Kurt was nervous about being at his old school. The reason why, well Sebastian of course was the only one to know of course and of course he didn’t tell them why. Not that the Warblers were trying to get all up in Kurt’s business or anything, it was just that they had started to get closer to the boy and they wanted to know if he was going to be okay.

Kurt was starting to act more comfortable around them. He still didn’t talk much but he seemed to pay attention to the conversations the boys had more instead of being off in his own little world. When he first arrived, all Kurt did was spend time in his dorm room with Sebastian if the rest of the Warblers were in the common room but now he occasionally joined them. Sure he sat away from them and usually did his own thing, homework or writing on a notebook but he seemed to enjoy their company more and that made the Warblers happy.

So after the competition where the Warblers had won they were all standing around outside, talking excitedly to one another about performing at Nationals in New York. They were really proud of themselves and of one another for winning and Wes was lecturing them about how hard they were going to have to work to win and how he was planning on adding extra rehearsals to their schedule so they could practice more. He was ignored for the most part except some teasing about how uptight and serious he was being. They wanted to celebrate, not rehearse.

Unfortunately their celebration was rudely interrupted by a group coming outside and a few of the members shouting.

“KURT HUMMEL,” One girl screamed, running up to the boy and almost knocking him over. She walked towards him while he walked back into a wall and hit his head, hard, against the bricks while the short, brunette pointed her finger into Kurt’s chest. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?”

“Rachel,” A tall boy said, coming up behind her along with a boy with obviously dyed, blonde hair, a boy with a mohawk, a girl with long, black hair and a girl with blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. The rest of their group consisted of a boy in a wheelchair, another blonde girl with her hair pulled up in a ponytail, a well styled black girl, an Asian girl with blue streaked hair and a tall, skinny Asian boy who were all standing by the door and who looked scared.

“Rachel, come on leave him alone,” The blonde boy said from behind the tall boy. “It’s not his fault we lost,”

“The hell it’s not,” The girl with black hair said. “He probably leaked the setlist to the gay boys from Hogwarts,”

“Kurt wouldn’t do that you guys,” The tall boy told them. “Get off of him Rachel,”

“KURT, YOU KNEW HOW MUCH THIS MEANT TO US, HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO ME AND YOU BEAT US?” The girl named Rachel shouted at him causing Nick, Jeff and Sebastian to come over to the group so they could get Kurt away from the maniac. “I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. I HATE YOU. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD BETRAY US LIKE THAT,”

“Excuse me,” Sebastian said, passively aggressively as he tapped Rachel on her shoulder and pushed past her to get to Kurt. “Would you like to explain to me just as to why you are screaming at my boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?” The group sputtered, shocked.

“Please tell me this is a joke,” The girl with long hair said. “I knew you guys did orgies there,”

“How dare you…” Jeff started to say but Nick held him back.

“I’m still waiting,” Sebastian said, pulling Kurt into a hug and noticing that his head was bleeding. “Fuck, you’re bleeding babe. Look what you fucking did you psycho. What the hell is wrong with you people?”

“Um, hi,” The tall boy said, awkwardly as he held out his hand and Sebastian shook it, hesitantly. “I’m Finn, Kurt’s step brother and this is Rachel, Santana, Sam, Puck and Quinn.”

“Hi,” Sebastian said, annoyed. “Now what the hell was that about?”

“He leaked our setlist to your show choir competition team, that’s what this is about,” The girl named Quinn said, her hands on her hips.

“Would you three stop it already,” The boy with the mohawk named Puck yelled. “Princess didn’t tell them okay, he wouldn’t do that. And look what you did Berry, he’s fucking bleeding you diva,”

“Well I’m sorry,” Rachel huffed. “But this is inexcusable. First he ditches us and now he tells all his new team members about our performances. He’s selfish you guys,”

“He is not Rachel,” The boy named Sam said. “You know how bad the bullying was. He couldn’t stay here,”

“Yeah Karofsky threatened to kill him and all you’re thinking about is yourself and a stupid competition that barely even matters,” Finn yelled at her. “You’re the one who’s selfish,”

“Wait what,” Nick asked, questioning as to what everyone was talking about. Who was Karofsky? Bullying? Someone threatened to kill Kurt? But why, he was so sweet and kind? Was it because he was gay? Were these people homophobic? “Come on Jeff, we have to go. Seb can handle it,” Nick said before trying to drag his boyfriend away but Jeff stayed put, wanting to defend Kurt so Nick stayed with him.

“Look I don’t know what’s going on here,” Jeff shouted, making himself known to the group. “But you people are horrible. I don’t even see how Kurtie could consider you people he’s friends. He didn’t leak your setlist okay? We won fair and square and if you can’t handle defeat and be a good sport then you have no business competing in the first place.”

“Oh whatever blondie,” The girl named Santana said, rolling her eyes. “How are we supposed to believe that, we don’t know what you guys talk about when you aren’t having sex with multiple people at a time at Hogwarts although I have a few ideas,”

“Alright that it’s,” Jeff said, pushing his sleeves up and starting to charge towards the girl before Nick and Sebastian held him back. “Let me at her,”

“No boys let him go,” Santana said, pushing up her own sleeves. “I’m about to show him what goes down when you mess with me, Lima Heights style. And it ain’t pretty, prep boy,”

“No, no fighting you guys,” Sam said, stepping in front of Santana to block her. “We’re competitors, not enemies,”

“We’re leaving,” Sebastian said, taking Kurt's hand and wiping the tears that had fallen down his face with his free hand. “Leave him alone, I don’t want you near him. Come on guys, lets go,”

Sebastian took Kurt with him as he walked away from the group, Nick and Jeff following behind him.

“What was that about Kurt?” Sebastian asked him once they had rejoined the Warblers. “I mean, you told me they were assholes but that girl attacked you,”

Kurt didn’t answer Sebastian and instead, cried into his chest and hugged him tightly.

“No hey no don’t cry babe,” Sebastian said, rubbing his back. “You’re okay,”

“Kurtie, you’re bleeding really bad, hon,” Jeff told him. “We need to get you to a doctor,”

“Jeff’s right,” Nick said. “We should take him to the hospital. He might have a concussion,”

“Shit,” Sebastian cursed, pulling Kurt away from him so he could see his face. “Hey Kurt, how do you feel right now? Are you dizzy?”

Kurt shook his head no.

“Do you feel sick?”

Again, Kurt shook his head.

“Does your head hurt at all?” Sebastian asked him.

Kurt nodded his head yes.

“Okay then. Let’s go,” He said, gesturing to the other boys. “We can take my car, let me just tell Wes that we’re leaving,”

So Sebastian told Wes about what happened and Wes wanted to complain to the show choir committee about the lack of sportsmanship the group showed but Sebastian said that they shouldn’t do it until they’ve talked to Kurt about it. Sebastian then left and went to his car where Nick, Jeff and Kurt were already inside waiting for him. Sebastian sighed, getting in the car and driving off, pissed that he was taking his boyfriend to the hospital for a concussion instead of being out and celebrating with his friends.

They got to the hospital and stayed there until around midnight while Kurt got checked out. Turned out he did have a mild concussion and his symptoms got worse as time went on. He had to have paperwork signed so that he could be released from the hospital but his dad was currently in DC so the papers had to be faxed over to him so he could sign them which was why they had stayed so long. And apparently his dad didn’t even care that Kurt had been hurt, nevertheless by people that had claimed to be his friends. He just signed the paperwork over the phone with Kurt and didn’t even ask him how he was feeling. Sebastian figured that not only did Kurt not have a good relationship with his so-called friends but he also didn’t have a good relationship with his family.

The four boys left the hospital and this time Nick drove so that Sebastian could sit with Kurt in the back seat.

“You feeling okay babe?” He asked Kurt who was half asleep at this point. The doctor had told him that it was safe for Kurt to fall asleep at this point but he still was afraid that Kurt would fall asleep and that he wouldn’t wake up so he tried to get Kurt to stay awake until they reached Dalton.

“Yes,” Kurt told him.

“Are you sure?”

“No,”

“You’ll be okay,” Sebastian assured him, pulling him into a hug. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Kurt told him, snuggling into his chest while Sebastian kissed his forehead.

After the debacle at Regionals the Warblers became even more protective and concerned towards Kurt and they could feel him pulling away from them again. This time they didn’t let him go so easily. They invited him to watch movies with them in their common room or to ask for his opinions on various topics. They just wanted him to feel safe and included and they wanted to assure him that he had real friends, not fake ones like the friends he had at his old school.

So they became particularly concerned when Wes had called a late night Warbler rehearsal after dinner and when Kurt didn’t show up. Sebastian had told the group that Kurt would be a little late getting back to Dalton because he had spent the day in Lima with his dad and step-mom but then Kurt didn’t show up at all and the boys started to worry. Kurt wasn’t answering his phone and had been three hours late. It was getting late and the boys were considering telling the dean about their friend when he finally showed up.

Wes, David, Thad, Trent, Nick, Jeff and Sebastian were all in their dorm room that they shared with one another, conversing about what to do about their missing friend when they heard the door open and saw Kurt walk in the room. To say that the boys were relieved that Kurt had come back and that he wasn’t dead or stranded alone somewhere was an understatement but then they took a closer look and their panic came back.

Kurt was visibly shaking, soaked head to toe since it had been raining that day and had various cuts and bruises on his face. It was hard to tell whether the water on his face was rain or tears but they assumed that it was both. Kurt looked more scared then he usually did and hugged himself tightly as he slid down the door, breaking down into tears. It seemed like the boy hadn't noticed that he wasn’t alone and was surprised when the boys came up to him. Sebastian and Nick bent down in front of him as they both took one of his hands to hold.

“Kurt what happened?” Sebastian asked, trying to figure out whether he was more upset or angry and whether he would stay with Kurt or go and beat up whoever hurt him. “Where were you, we were scared?”

“He’s gonna kill me,” Kurt said, in between sobs. “He found me Seb… I was leaving my dad’s house, walking to my car when he attacked me with his friends and… and I tried to get away, to get my dad or Finn but they had already left and …” Kurt started to say but his voice trailed off before he continued crying.

“Who was it babe?” Sebastian asked, sharing a look with Nick. “Was it Karofsky?”

“Yes,” Kurt whispered. “Please Seb, I don’t want to die,”

“Hey, look at me,” Sebastian said, tilting Kurt’s head up so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. “You aren’t going to die, I promise you. Don’t worry, okay? But you have to tell us what happened so that we can help you. Can you do that?”

“No,” Kurt said, shaking his head and it broke the boys’ hearts to see how scared and vulnerable he was. “I don’t want to die. I can’t tell anyone,”

“Kurt babe,” Sebastian started to say. “You aren’t going to die, I told you that but you have to tell us what happened so that we can make sure it doesn’t happen again. You don’t want it to happen again right?” Kurt nodded his head. “Okay then, so how about we get you cleaned up and into some dry clothes and then you can tell us what happened.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” Kurt begged. “Please don’t tell my dad. All he’ll do is say that I deserved it for not sticking up for myself. Please Seb…”

“We won’t tell him okay?” Sebastian promised him. “Come on,”

He helped Kurt stand up and gave him a hug while Kurt continued to cry and Sebastian faced the Warblers, uncertain of what to do.

“Can someone get me some… I don’t know, band aids?” He asked. “What the fuck am I supposed to use?”

“Well go get some disinfectant and bandages from the nurse’s station,” Wes told him before leaving the room in a hurry with Thad and David.

“Did he really say that his dad was going to defend his attackers?” Trent asked, shocked. “What kind of sick person says something like that?”

“Well they don’t exactly have the best relationship with each other,” Sebastian sniffed. “That’s one of the reasons why he came here, so his dad could get rid of him and so he wouldn’t have to deal with the bullying at his old school,”

“That’s horrible,” Jeff said with tears in his eyes.

“I know,” Sebastian sighed, rubbing Kurt’s back. “I'm gonna help him change. Tell me when Wes comes back,”

Sebastian led Kurt into their room and shut the door before truing around to see Kurt sitting on his bed.

“You’re gonna be fine Kurt,” Sebastian assured him again. “You’re safe now,”

“I’m scared,” Kurt admitted, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes. “And it hurts,”

“What hurts?” Sebastian asked, sitting down next to Kurt on the bed.

“My head, I hit it on the ground.” Kurt explained. “And my wrist,” He said, holding out his arm so that Sebastian could see that his wrist was red and swollen. It was at least sprained. “Someone stomped on it,”

“Oh yeah that does look bad,” Sebastian told him, taking his arm and holding it gently. “But we can wrap it and ice it so it can rest. And at least it’s not the hand you write with right?”

“Right,” Kurt agreed. “I’m sorry Seb. I would’ve called but they broke my phone. I passed out and I guess they eventually left but when I woke up it was already pretty late so I started driving back here but my wrist… and it was far away… and…” Kurt’s voice broke off and he became overwhelmed and started crying again. “I’m so sorry,”

“Kurt you have nothing to be sorry for babe,” Sebastian assured him while bringing him into a hug. “I’m just sorry for not being there.”

“It’s not your fault,” Kurt told him, embracing the hug. “Can I change?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said, letting Kurt go. “Go ahead,”

Kurt got off the bed and went over to his draw to pick out a pair of clean clothes before going into the bathroom to change. A few minutes later he came back out in dry clothes and went back over to Sebastian, hugging him again.

“I love you,” Kurt told Sebastian. “I really do and I’m sorry that I’m like this. I don’t want to be this way,”

“No Kurt,” Sebastian said. “You’re perfect. You really are and I don’t want you to change one bit. You’re cute and talented and smart and kind and you’re the best person I know. It’s not your fault everyone’s an asshole,”

“Do you mean it?” Kurt asked, sincerely.

“Every word. I love you too,” Sebastian assured him, giving him a kiss. “I’m so glad I met you and I promise, I’m never going to let anyone hurt you ever again,”

“I know you won’t,” Kurt said. “I’m tired,”

“Wes, David and Thad should be back soon but I guess if you want to we can lay down until they come back,” Sebastian suggested and he laid down with Kurt in his bed, his arms wrapped around the smaller boy.

Kurt was the best thing that had ever happened to Sebastian and he was damned if he was going to mess up what they had going on. From the moment Sebastian met Kurt that day when they had bumped into each other, from the moment he looked and met eyes with Kurt, he knew he loved him. And he was lucky that Kurt loved him back. And he wanted to hurt anyone that had ever hurt Kurt in the past and he wanted to protect him at all cost. And he was going to do that no matter what he needed to do. Kurt meant that much to him.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms and didn’t hear when Wes and Nick knocked on their door. The boys opened the door to find Kurt and Sebastian asleep and debated on whether they should wake the pair up or not.

“Aww, look how cute they are Wes,” Nick cooed. “You can’t possibly think about waking them up now,”

“Kurt needs to be looked at,” Wes explained. “They can be cute again once he’s fixed up,”

“Since when are you a doctor Wesley?” Nick huffed. “Let them sleep. Kurt’s probably exhausted as it is and you blabbing on and on about god knows what isn’t going to make him feel better. You can take care of your patient in the morning,”

“Fine then,” Wes said, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go,”

The boys softly closed the door and left Kurt and Sebastian to sleep peacefully. Wes just couldn’t believe what was happening to Kurt. He had heard from David about Kurt not eating when he got stressed and then that incident at Regionals with his old friends and now someone had tried to kill him. It wasn’t fair. Kurt was the most innocent, kind person he knew and to learn that he had so many people that hated him and that wanted to hurt him made him upset. If it was because Kurt was gay then people really needed to grow up and learn that hating someone because of the gender they loved was ridiculous and made no sense. And if it was because of Kurt’s personality then everyone was crazy. The poor boy needed a break and in the end, that's why Wes had decided to let him be.

It was now December, Kurt was attacked a month ago and he was still dealing with the effects of his attack. Sebastian and the rest of the Warblers had carried out their promise and hadn’t told anyone about what had happened that night but they were still considering it. Kurt was a mess and they meant that with all respect.

At first Kurt had gone on acting like everything was fine. His behavior was normal (or normal for Kurt anyway) and he stayed close to the Warblers and Sebastian. He didn’t leave the school not even if someone went with him but that was understandable. But then he had a nightmare.

Trent was the first one to wake up when he heard a high pitched scream coming from the other side of their room. He shared a room with Thad who was the next person to wake up and they walked out of their room into the common room to see a sleepy eyed Nick and Jeff also awake.

“Did you guys hear that?” Trent asked, rubbing his eyes. “Someone screamed,”

“Yep I heard it,” Jeff said, rubbing his ear. “It was definitely Kurtie, he’s the only one who can scream that loud,”

“Do you think we should check on him and Seb?” Thad asked. “To see if they need help,”

“I guess,” Nick said and the four of them walked over to Kurt and Sebastian’s door. Jeff knocked on the door.

“Seb? Kurt? Are you two okay?” He asked.

“Jeff, get the fuck in here now,” He heard Sebastian yell and he quickly opened the door and walked in, the other boys following behind him.

“Why did Kurt scream?” Nick asked.

“I don’t fucking know,” Sebastian yelled, getting out of his bed. “He screamed and then he ran in the bathroom and he won’t come out,”

“Well have you considered your choice of words Sebastian?” Trent asked and in return received a pillow thrown at him. “I guess not,”

“He had a goddamn nightmare,” Sebastian said, still cursing but lowering his voice some. “Before he screamed he was mumbling and he said his dad’s name and the name of his bully, Karofsky,”

“Oh the poor thing,” Jeff said, sympathetically. “Is this his first one?”

“I don’t know,” Sebastian groaned. “Why the fuck do people have to mess with him? He’s been through enough,”

“Seb,” Trent said. “I think you should check on him,”

“Right,” Sebastian said, walking over to the bathroom door. “Um… if you guys could like, leave that’d be great. I don’t think he’s going to want an audience right now,”

“Of course,” Thad said. “Tell us if you need anything and take care of him,”

The four boys left the room and Sebastian knocked on the bathroom door. “Kurt, are you okay in there? Can I come in?”

He pressed his ear against the door to hear muffled cries coming from the inside and sighed before opening the door. He found Kurt kneeled down in the corner, hugging himself in a tight ball, crying. The scene was heartbreaking and made Sebastian admittedly rush over to him to give him a hug.

“He was right there,” Kurt said, shaking. “He was right there Seb, he wanted to kill me. He almost killed me,”

“No he didn’t Kurt,” Sebastian said, tears welling up in his own eyes. “He’s not anywhere near here, you’re fine I promise. No one’s going to hurt you,”

“What did I do wrong?” Kurt asked, more to himself than to Sebastian. “Why do they all hate me Seb? They hate me so much.” He said through sobs.

“They don’t matter babe,” Sebastian assured Kurt. “I love you and the rest of the Warblers love you and that’s all that matters right, the people that do love you?”

“I miss them,” Kurt said. “I miss my friends and I miss my dad and I messed everything up,”

“No you didn’t. You didn’t mess anything up babe. You’re perfect. Please stop crying, you’re making me cry,”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt said, looking up at Sebastian and wiping the tear that fell down his face. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Sebastian said, laughing when Kurt brushed off his tear. “And I always will,”

“Ok,” Kurt said softly, “I don’t want to go back to sleep,”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Sebastian told him “You can lay down with me and we can watch a movie ok? You can pick,”

“Ok,” Kurt said again, standing up with Sebastian and leaving the bathroom. They both got into Kurt’s bed, under the blankets and snuggled close together before Sebastian grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels until Kurt settled on a movie that he had never heard of before and they both watched the movie together, neither falling asleep. Once the movie was over Sebastian got an idea and dragged Kurt out of the bed, pulling him over to the window and opening it to reveal a beautiful sunrise.

“Look at that,” Sebastian said, sighing happily to himself as he hugged Kurt from behind. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yeah,” Kurt said, smiling. “I love it,”

“And I love you,” Sebastian said, snuggling into Kurt’s neck and kissing him.

“Forever?” Kurt asked.

“Forever,” Sebastian assured.

“I love you too,” Kurt assured him back and they spent the rest of their morning in each other’s embrace watching the sunrise and for a moment Kurt thought he was going to be okay.

But Kurt and everyone else was soon to realize that Kurt was wrong.

It was winter break and everyone in Kurt’s dorm decided to stay at Dalton for the holidays since their families worked during the holiday and they decided that being with each other would be more fun. So they spent their break watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate or singing Christmas carols or playing board games or doing puzzles. Kurt joined in on the movies once in a while but kept to himself for the most part and resorted to writing in a journal.

It wasn’t your typical teenage journal that was actually a diary full of secrets and gossip about one’s life. It was just a notebook full of random words that were written in Kurt's neat handwriting. Kurt’s logic for doing this was that it calmed him, just seeing the word neatly written in pen on a blank sheet of white paper. He could write words about how he felt but for the most part he wrote the things that he liked.

My friends.

Sebastian.

Singing.

Cats.

Clouds.

Coffee.

Watching the sunrise with Seb.

Writing.

Taking walks.

Reading.

Going to my classes.

Flowers.

Grass.

Trees.

Things along those lines. Just things that Kurt loved about his life. He was just trying to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. But sometimes that proved to be really difficult for him and one day was very difficult to deal with.

Sebastian had woken him up early that day to tell him that he was going out to get some things that he needed from the store and told Kurt that he would be back soon. Kurt said okay before falling back asleep and when he woke up his body went into a state of intense panic. Just the sight of the other side of his bed, empty when Sebastian usually laid there and waited for him to wake up threw his whole day off. He tried not to let it bother him too much so he got up and got ready like he usually did before grabbing his blanket and his notebook and walking out into the common room. He was thankful to find the rest of his friends were already awake, continuing their Christmas movie marathon by watching “Elf” and laughing at the movie. They greeted him and he greeted them back before sitting down in an empty chair and trying to pay attention to the screen. It wasn’t working out though. No matter how hard he tried not to think about Sebastian and how he had been gone when he had woken even though he already knew that Sebastian wouldn’t be there, the more he thought about other things.

His dad.

Finn.

Carol.

His family that sent him off to a private school because they didn’t want to deal with him.

Rachel.

Mercedes.

Quinn.

His old friends.

His old friends that  hated him now.

Karofsky.

Azimio.

Bullying.

Slushies.

Locker shoves.

Dumpster dives.

Kissing.

Disgusting kissing that tasted awful.

Kissing that made him cry, that made him hate himself.

Kissing that made him feel so disgusting and awful that he wanted to hurt himself.

Fag.

Fairy.

Traitor.

Disappointment.

Waste of space.

Should just kill himself already.

This is what he found himself writing in his notebook and soon there was no trying to think about the positives because the negatives were pushed to the front of his brain and he couldn’t get rid of them. He felt tears come to his eyes and not wanting to cry in front of everyone but then not wanting to be alone, he got up out of his chair and went to sit down on the floor. Behind the couch. Under the table.

Why Kurt picked a table to sit under, he didn’t really know. He just needed a confined area of space that was for him only but he didn’t want to go back into his empty dorm room, he wanted to hear his friend laugh and he wanted to hear the movie so he chose the table. He tried to breathe but it didn’t really work, the air wouldn’t come into his lungs. He silently cried, his pen shaking in his finger and his body wrapped around him as he tried to calm down and tried to think about the positives. But nothing good came. So he tried to shut his mind off. He tried to clear everything out so that he didn’t have to think about anything and closed his eyes shut.

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there but he was relieved when he heard the door to their room open and heard familiar footsteps walk into the room. He wanted to get out and run into Sebastian’s arms but something inside him told him not to and kept him in place.

“Where’s Kurt?” Sebastian asked, taking off his scarf and coat.

“Under the table,” Wes said casually.

“What?” Sebastian asked confused as he walked over to the table and peered down to see Kurt sitting in a ball covered in a blanket. “Why did you let him sit underneath the table?”

“I don’t know,” Jeff said, still paying attention to the movie. “He seemed like he had his mind set on sitting underneath the table so we let him sit under there. Besides, who are we to tell him what to do? Is it a crime to sit under a table?”

“No,” Sebastian sighed. “I guess it’s not,”

Sebastian reached out to grab Kurt’s hand to pull him out from underneath the table when he noticed the notebook that Kurt had been writing in. Kurt hadn’t really seemed to notice his presence and Sebastian picked up the notebook, reading what Kurt had most recently written.

“Oh Kurt,” He said softly, looking back down to see that Kurt was shaking and that his face was stained with tears. “What happened?”

Kurt only shook his head.

“Come on. Let’s go,” Sebastian said, motioning  Kurt to take his hand so he could get up. Kurt took his hand and Sebastian pulled him up before getting an idea. He looked up above his head and smiled, mischievously to himself.

“Look what we’re standing under,” He said in a sing-song voice. “Mistletoe,”

“Kurt looked up and then looked back to Sebastian with a perplexed look, not connecting the two things together. That was until Sebastian dipped him back and kissed him passionately on his lips. Kurt kissed back and they stayed like that until the Warblers turned around and caught them in the position they were in.

“Eww gross,” Trent said, throwing a pillow at Sebastian.

“Get a room Seb,” David groaned, burying his face into another pillow.

“You two are worse than Nick and Jeff,” Wes complained before turning back around to see Nick and Jeff snuggling together, eskimo kissing one another. “Never mind, I take that back,”

“That’s what I thought,” Sebastian smirked before tilting Kurt back up and leading him into their room. “Don’t interrupt us,”

“Trust us, we won’t,” Thad assured him before Sebastian closed the door.

“So are you okay Kurt?” Sebastian asked, turning around to look at his boyfriend. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt whispered, looking down like he was ashamed of himself. “I woke up and you were gone and I know it’s stupid because I knew you weren’t going to be there but it still freaked me out for some reason and I got upset and I didn’t know what to do. I got dressed and I tried to pay attention to the movie that everyone was watching but I kept thinking about you and then I started thinking about everyone else and instead of writing down things that I liked, I started writing the things down that I didn’t like. And then I got really overwhelmed and I couldn’t breathe and so I got up and sat under the table because I didn’t know where else to go but… I’m so sorry Seb. I know that it was stupid of me to get so upset but I don’t know what happened,” Kurt explained, rapidly.

“Hey, take a breather babe,” Sebastian said, walking over to Kurt and rubbing his back. “It sounds like you had a panic attack. But you’re alright now okay?”

“Okay,” Kurt said, hugging Sebastian. “Please don’t leave me right now,”

“I won’t,” Sebastian promised him. “I promise. So do you want to watch the movie with them or…?”

“Can we just stay in here?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah of course,” Sebastian said before walking over to Kurt’s bed and laying down in it with him. They snuggled up with one another like they usually did, wrapped in blankets and in each other’s embrace and this time Sebastian picked a movie.

“I love you Sebastian,” Kurt said, smiling up at his boyfriend. “I love you so much,”

“I love you so much too Kurt,” Sebastian smiled back.

Kurt had resorted to a different method to manage his stress… running. He knew it probably wasn’t the best thing to do seeing how little he ate but then again, was really anything he ever did a good idea? He didn’t think so. So running was his new thing.

He felt free when he ran, like there was nothing holding him back or there was nothing weighing him down. When he ran he didn’t need to focus on all his problems or the things that bothered him, all he focused on was moving his feet in front of the other one and his breathing. He could run for hours if he wanted to and one day he actually did.

It had been a bad day for Kurt. He had had two exams and a project to present in his classes that day and then a Warbler practice after lunch and he felt like he needed to relax. So he went out after dinner and ran. Some of the other Warblers went out with him and watched him as they sat on the bench and talked with one another.

And Kurt ran. He lost track of time but he could tell that it was getting late when he noticed that the sun was setting and he would’ve stopped but he was on a roll. It felt good to him, to push his body through all the pain and sweat. Yes maybe it was a bad idea to run to the point where you’re in pain but it wasn’t like the pain that he felt when he was shoved in a locker. The pain felt good so he didn’t stop.

“What are you guys doing out here?” Sebastian asked Jeff, Nick and Trent as he walked out to the track and saw the guys on the bleachers.

“Kurt’s running,” Nick said, pointing over to where Kurt was on his probably hundredth lap around the track.

“Shit, you idiots,” Sebastian hissed. “How long has he been like that?”

“Like what?” Jeff asked. “He likes running,”

“He looks like he’s going to fall over Jeff,” Sebastian said, irritated.

“Oh. Well we’ve been out here since dinner which was at six,” Trent said, thinking out loud.

“And it’s around eight right now,” Nick added.

“So that means it’s been two hours,” Jeff said happily. “Woo, Kurtie’s really good at that,”

“Oh my god,” Sebastian groaned before jogging over to Kurt. “Hello babe,”

“Hi,” Kurt said, shortly, out of breath. “What are you doing here?”

“The better question is what are you doing here? It’s been two hours since I last saw you and I miss you,” Sebastian said, giving Kurt puppy dog eyes.

“Sorry. I knew it was getting late but you know… it’s just been a stressful day,” Kurt said.

“Oh,” Sebastian said, his face dropping. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I prefer running,”

“For two hours straight. Is that even healthy?”

“No but neither is being stressed out so I take what I get,” Kurt shrugged.

“Well what if we find a better way to get rid of your stress,” Sebastian suggested slyly. “We could make out,”

“Seb,” Kurt whined, although he did smile.

“Please,” Sebastian begged. “You’re so cute and I haven’t seen you all day. I love you,”

“Fine,” Kurt smirked. “But I’m taking a bath first,”

“Okay let’s go,” Sebastian said excitedly, taking Kurt’s hand and dragging him off the track.

They went back to their dorm room and Kurt showered and got ready for bed and then the two boys got into bed and cuddled up with each other. Kurt kissed Sebastian and Sebastian kissed back and they stayed like that for a while before Sebastian pulled Kurt into a hug.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Sebastian asked him. “I just ask because… I mean you could’ve changed your mind and I want you to know that I’ll listen to you,”

“I’m okay Seb,” Kurt assured him. “I just had a lot of work to do today and I'm not used to having so much. I was always on top of my work at McKinley, I was at the top of my class but here it’s just a little harder. But I got it done so I don’t have to worry anymore. I just wanted to run and I guess I lost myself a little too much,”

“Oh,” Sebastian said, rubbing Kurt’s back. "Well if you ever need help you can always ask me,”

“I know Seb,” Kurt said. “But thank you. For… just everything Seb. It means a lot to me,”

“Well you mean a lot to me,” Sebastian smiled.

“So do you,” Kurt smiled back.

Nick, Jeff, Wes and David were all in the common room doing a puzzle when Sebastian and Kurt walked in, hand and hand and stood facing each other with their foreheads pressed against each other.

“Why don’t you just go lay down and I’ll be in a minute, okay babe?” Sebastian told Kurt who nodded his head and wiped some tears on his face as he walked into their room.

“What’s wrong with Kurt?” David asked curious.

“He’s sick,” Sebastian said, rubbing his eyes. “He’s got a fever,”

“Oh, should I get the nurse?” Jeff asked, standing up.

“No, he’ll be fine I think,” Sebastian told them. “I don’t think he’d like that since he’s not really a people person. I’m just going to lay down with him and maybe he’ll sleep it off,”

“Oh okay,” Jeff said, sitting back down. Well tell me if you need anything,”

“I will,” Sebastian said before walking into their room to find Kurt curled up in a ball on his bed.

“You feeling alright babe?” Sebastian asked, rubbing Kurt’s back.

“I don’t feel good,” Was all Kurt said back.

“I know you don’t, you’re burning up. Do you want anything?” Sebastian asked.

“A hug,” Kurt told him and Sebastian laughed a little.

“I mean like medicine or something Kurt,”

“You don’t want to hug me?” Kurt asked, tears in his eyes.

“What no,” Sebastian exclaimed, laying down admittedly and hugging Kurt. “I always want to hug you Kurt, I love you. I just want to make you feel better,”

“I hate being sick,” Kurt pouted. “It’s not fair, I never get sick,”

“Well you just have to take care of yourself more Kurt. You’re stressing yourself out too much, it’s no wonder you aren’t feeling good right now,”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt whispered. “I really do try, it’s just hard,”

“I know you’re trying,” Sebastian assured him. “And I know it’s been rough for you but you’re doing really good, trust me,”

“I trust you,” Kurt told him. “And I love you too,”

“I love you,” Sebastian said, kissing Kurt’s forehead

[soldierallen]

Married. 16

A/N; well this is the end! Last chapter for a story that started in September of 2018 is ending in September 2020, it’s been a long ride thank you to everyone who supported the chapters the story and everything the characters we developed and the storylines that were told we had a lot of downs a few ups I wish there was more of this story to be told thank you for believing in a story that I thought nobody would care about Enjoy the finale.

Chapter 15; here

“You’re joking right?” She was a nervous wreck and this wasn’t the time for people with shitty attitudes “LUCY WHERES CHASE AND ELENA” she was freaking out her maid of honor was late and she had just been told her bouquet hasn’t arrived yet they were real flowers and needed proper care “I’m not in my dress yet and I haven’t seen him in two days I’m a wreck please let me see him” she was losing her patience with everyone “let her go” Jenny said, y/n rushes out knocking on the door to sebastians room “who is it” he yells out “it’s me” “I can’t see you it’s bad luck” he laughs “I’m gonna start crying” he heard her being serious and quickly opened the door “doll” he said in a whisper he had a dress shirt on and his suit pants with black socks “baby what’s wrong??” He pulled her in closely her head on his chest his arms wrapped around her lovingly with comfort “Elena isn’t here, my bouquet isn’t here my Parents aren’t here I’m gonna lose my fucking mind?” she questioned as she tried not to cry on her wedding day or ruin his shirt “hey listen” he lifted her head with both of his hands his hands curving to the shape of her head his thumbs on her cheeks with the comforting movement of them, he smiled empatheticly at her “it doesn’t matter, me and you matter we aren’t alone.” He let go of her face holding her hand walking towards the entrance to show her “Henry’s here, Chris, Anthony. All of their families...and to me that’s all that matters them, us.” He smiled at her she felt comfort holding onto him “I’m sorry I’m such a baby” she laughed trying to stop “never apologize for feeling overwhelmed, I’m with you till the end doll” his smile crept up as he looked into her eyes “I wanna kiss you” she said with frowny puppy dog eyes “now that is where I draw the line” he kissed her cheek “I thought you were the adventurous rebel what happened to that?” She asked “I guess sometimes in life you have to give up your childish ways in order to live a good life with the women you love” he leaned on the door frame “you love me? Take me to dinner first??” She said “how about we get married” he laughs and plays along “woah there buddy we haven’t even kissed yet? But alright I’ll be the one in white” she playfully hits his chest “I missed you calling and texting isn’t the same as having you in my eyesight and arms reach” Sebastian says, he knew in his heart this is the way things were suppose to be, if he never pushed his feelings down maybe he would’ve been with her sooner. She was finally ready everyone was in the right places are parents were here her bouquet in hand “you do look beautiful y/n” rose says “I never had a little sister till I met you thank you for softing him up for me” she bumped her elbow to her side playfully making the teen girl laugh, she smiled at Elena and the rest of the girls and it was time for them to be taken down the aisle she didn’t want any of the boys to see her.

“You look gorgeous baby” she heard her father’s voice “thank you” she kissed his cheek as they walked hand and hand everyone stood up she wasn’t able to see Sebastian yet, feeling the nerves circulate throughout her whole body she smiled at everyone there seb’s family and finally she got close enough to see him. God was he a breath of fresh of air she looked at him with love in her eyes and he was a bit teary which made her fall in love with him even more, she looked to his side and the three men were crying she laughed at them letting a few tears spill, she made it... crying for hours on end wanting him so badly it felt like she couldn’t breathe endless arguments and a check with money was able to ruin their whole friendship if it wasn’t for them to pick her back up I think she would’ve ended in a worse place. Y/n would always have a strong bond with each of them and yes including Henry, she let go from her father and took arms with Sebastian, and then came the vows..she looked out to all the people and said “he’s gonna make me cry” almost everyone laughed “so here we are” Sebastian said starting off “you’ve been a light in the darkness since I’ve met you, through our ups and downs I’ve always known you were the one for me” he was getting choked up “I made a lot of mistakes in our relationship, as best friends, as enemies, and as partners. You’ve always been the bigger person always knew the right way thing to do... one night in your apartment it was raining really bad the lights flickered and we had to light candles and we sat in the dark talking about literally everything that was the second night I knew I loved you. I’ve got our top five best moments on record but this one it’s number one” everyone clapped she was crying so much already he slipped the ring on her finger Elena handed her a tissue “you know what” y/n said while wiping her tears making everyone laugh & now it was her turn she smiled at him and slightly to the three men on his side “when I met you, you were the most gorgeous man I’d ever seen... even tho you were 13” everyone laughed she swallowed trying to get rid of the lump that was forming, “I dreamt of the day you’d love me back, that sounds sad but I’m getting there! When I was stuck in a situation I thought I’d never get out of you were there and when I felt like giving up you were there yeah we’ve said a lot of horrible things to each other but we’ve never hated each other..I couldn’t I was never able to you hate you this force about you that make people feel loved I don’t know what it is but your grandfather said something to me that I’ll never forget it “he’s a good boy he just needs someone to bring it out of him and maybe sweetheart maybe it’s you” he would’ve been so proud of you today” tears fell from his eyes he wasn’t this emotional guy but today he let loose he kissed her forehead “thank you for making me so happy I promise to try my best to do the same for you” everyone clapped “by the power invested in me and the state of New York I now pronounce you husband & wife you may now kiss the bride” Sebastian moved the hair out of her face kissing her with so much passion and love she felt unstoppable at this moment like time stood still. She hugged Chris Anthony and Henry she grabbed sebastian’s hand and they ran out into the limo “so that’s it we’re finally?” Sebastian said “Married” she said. Finally married it’s been a long journey but here we are, Together. Something Broken Could Always Be Fixed with a little love and time.

They made it to the reception they were introduced as mr and mrs stan finally! Chris gave his best man speech while Elena gave her maid of honor speech they had their first dance to their la vie en rose,

“Thank you for never giving up on us”

“I’ll never give up on you seb” her hand on his shoulder moving slightly with her words “never?” “Never.” She kissed him while they danced magic felt through the room as they danced,

Chris whispers to Henry “you okay?” he nods at Chris’s question “she’s happy and that’s all I ever wanted for her, I’m glad it’s with him cause I would’ve never satisfied her because it’s always been him.” He sipped his drink and smiled at the two friends in front of him who twirled spun around “you’re gonna be okay” he patted his shoulder as they watched the two dance hand and hand. “I don’t want this night to end” she whispers as they dance “me either” he kissed her neck making her laugh it tickled everyone watched as they talked kissed laughed this is all they both ever wanted someone to love care and cherish them however it was right in front of them all this time. as they danced soon everyone joined in dancing Henry danced with Rose seb’s sister, Chris & Jenny, Anthony & Sherri, Chase & Elena it felt like a dream “let’s all be together tonight, that’s what I want” she whispered to seb as the song played loudly over them “the honeymoon isn’t until two days from now because I knew that’s what you wanted” he kissed her neck as he spinned her around “you bumped it” she asked surprised he nodded with a smirk “you jerk!” She said playfully “oh come on you don’t wanna go on a trip with our best friends??” He said “you know I do” she kissed him sweetly she looked over at her parents and her brother, I know family is important but you choose your family. And these people on this dance floor is our family first. And they always will be. she let go of sebastian tapping on anthony’s shoulder “can I cut in?” Sherri smiled at y/n hugging her She grabbed seb and they danced whilst she danced with Anthony “you did it... I mean if you would’ve told me the girl who laid on the floor in her apartment crying would’ve been married to him I wouldn’t of believed you” she laughed “you always believed in me... all four of you I couldn’t ask for a better set of friends”

Tagged @hiddlestonstansworld @lovely-geek @imcalledflorence @misz-adrii @escapistdreamer-wishfulthinker @someplxce @cuddlesforlashton @coffeebooksandfandomsohmy @weasley16 @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @vogueworthy-barnes @xeniarocks @thisismysecrethappyplace @racheo91 @gravedollie666 @inlovewith3 @supernaturaldean67 // thank u for everything!

[harley-sunday]

The Draw (14)

Summary: The whirlwind starts at the 2018 ACE Comic Con in Phoenix but you’re not sure where it will end…

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader

Warnings: Language. 

Word count: 3.5k

AN: Slowly, very slowly, I’m getting back into this one. It deserves to be finished, but I don’t want to rush to a happy ending, you know? Anyway, here’s the latest installment in this crazy ride, hope you enjoy! This one’s for @aarontveitfic​ ♥

Masterlist

Something beeps somewhere and you let out a quiet groan before you decide to just ignore it, because well, you were cuddling up to Sebastian in a blissful state of half consciousness and you don’t want to have to wake up and realize you only have another day left before he has to leave again. But then you hear Sebastian mutter something about your phone going off and so you blindly reach for it, accidentally knocking off your book from the bedside table first. The notification on your lock screen lets you know you’ve got a new message from your brother, the first few words on their own not really making any sense. It isn’t until you tap on the notification to open it that you see the picture he’s attached and suddenly you’re wide awake, muttering quiet, “Fuck,” as you sit up. 

“What?” Sebastian asks from somewhere beside you, his voice still laced with sleep.

“Ugh. I hate him,” you look at the selfie again, channeling all your anger towards your brother, hoping some of it will make its way to him through your phone.

Sebastian must sense something’s going on, because he sits up as well, his lips ghosting over your cheek, “Morning.”

You shake him off and he starts to protest, but then you show him what your brother’s just sent you and see his eyes grow wider with every word he reads:

Guess who we just dropped off at the airport? They thought we should let you know in advance, but I told them not to ruin a good surprise ;) So anyway, can you pick up Mom and Dad? 2PM, flight number AA376. Good luck! xx

“Ok,” Sebastian says, running a hand through his hair, “ok. This isn’t that bad, right?”

You just throw him a glare you hope conveys how much you hate surprises like this and hit ‘call’ on your phone.

And of course your brother picks up on the first ring, “Hey, loser.” 

“I hate you.”

He just chuckles, “Good morning to you too.” 

You get out of bed, miming to Sebastian that this will only take a minute, before you walk to the kitchen, “What were you thinking, Nathan?”

“Oh shit,” your brother whispers and you think you hear Jake giggle in the background, “Tante is using my full name. We’re in trouble, bud.”

“Take me off speaker, will you?” You pinch the bridge of your nose as you lean against the counter. 

“I’m driving,” your brother counters, but you think you hear him tell Jake to put his earbuds in and listen to some music, before he returns to you, “The kid’s otherwise engaged. Go ahead. Hurl your verbal abuse at me.”

“I’m not- A little heads up would be nice, that’s all.” 

“What are you not telling me? Are you not in San Francisco?” He chuckles then, “Did I just ship off the parents on their own?”

“Nate. Of course I am in San Francisco,” you bite back.

“So then, what’s the problem?”

“The problem,” you let out a sigh then. “The problem is that Sebastian’s here and I haven’t told Mom and Dad about him yet.” 

Your brother starts laughing so hard then, that after a “We will talk about this later, Nathan.” which you know will fall on deaf ears, you hang up without warning. You tap the phone against your chin, unsure where to go from here. There’s still four hours left before they land, and so you think that maybe you’ll be able to pull something off, but then you turn around and see Sebastian standing there and your heart drops.

His arms are crossed in front of his chest, the fabric of his shirt stretching across his biceps and if he didn’t look so upset right now it would be such a turn on. Instead there’s something dark that has settled over his face when he asks, “You haven’t told your parents about us yet?”

You open your mouth to say something, but you don’t know if there’s anything that could make this better and so you just shake your head.

He doesn’t respond, just stares at you before he turns around and walks back to the bedroom.

“Sebastian,” you push yourself off the counter and go after him, finding him sitting on the bed, staring straight ahead. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this upset. He doesn’t look up at you when you enter and so you sit down next to him, your arms brushing against his. You clear your throat, looking at the floor, “I’m sorry.”

He just nods.

“My parents, they are uh-” you hesitate, because you don’t want this to sound like an excuse, even though it’s definitely part of the cause. “Ok, so you know Monica and Ross’ parents, right?”

He looks up at you then, confused, even though you are sure he knows you’re talking about Friends.

Still, you take this as your cue to continue, “They’re a bit like them. Not that they’re bad people, or mean, but they’re just a little ditzy, if that makes sense.” You shrug, “I mean, I didn’t tell them I was going to help out at our office here until after I got here, otherwise they’d just- I don’t know. They’d just worry about everything.” You turn to him, “Nate and I decided a long time ago that sometimes it’s better to just not tell them something until after the fact.” 

“I know, I know,” you quickly say when he starts to protest, hands up in defense, “I should have told them about us- About you sooner, but I- I don’t know. I’m afraid they won’t understand.”

“Bullshit.”

It comes out barely above a whisper and so you’re not sure you’ve heard him right, but then he stands up and looks at you.

“It’s bullshit,” he says again with an angry shrug. “Clearly there’s something else going on. And why would you drag your parents like that?” 

“What?” You almost do a double take, because did he really just say that? You get up as well, so you can at least face him on the same level, “I didn’t drag my parents. I could entertain you for days with the shit Nate and I have kept from them.”

“Yeah?” he asks defiantly. “Does that include any of your other ex-boyfriends?” 

It doesn’t register. Not right away anyway, because you’re too busy trying to remember at what point you first introduced Mark to your parents. It couldn’t have been more than three weeks, maybe a month after you started dating. Which was way too soon and which you regret till this day. It would have been so much better for everyone if you’d just waited a little longer. 

Still, technically you guess Sebastian and you have been dating since the end of April, when he took you on that boat trip, but you’ve always considered your rendez-vous in Charlotte, right before he left for the press tour, as the moment you got together. That wasn’t that long ago, right? But then you start to count and realize it’s been almost seven weeks, so maybe he does have a point and you’re about to tell him you and your commitment issues are the real reason why you haven’t told you parents about him yet when finally his words hit you. You look up at him, “What did you just say?” 

“I asked if that includes any of your ex-boyfriends.” He doesn’t look at you, instead needs all his attention to look for his jeans. 

“No, no, no, that’s not what you said,” because you remember now. You cross your arms in front of your chest, “You said, does that include any of your other ex-boyfriends.” 

He finds his jeans, sighs, and looks up at you, “Fine,” but doesn’t say anything else.

“Come on, use your words, Sebastian” you mock, because really? You don’t want to fight, because this seems like such a non-issue to you even though, sure, this isn’t how you planned on introducing Sebastian to your parents, but you know, why not? At least it would spare you an awkward dinner at some point. Mostly you’re just mad at your brother for springing this on you without warning even though you know that’s not entirely fair. But, apparently Sebastian has taken great offense and wants to see this through. Fine, you think, might as well find out now if we can work through this or not, “So we’re done, or?”

“I don’t know,” his jeans are on now, and he’s picked up his duffel bag, putting the rest of his clothes inside like he’s getting ready to leave. “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t have told them.”

“You are making this a much bigger deal than it-”

“I called my mom right after I dropped you off at LAX,” he zips his bag closed and when he looks up at you he looks hurt, “and told her I met this great girl who swept me off my feet and who I thought might be the one but who felt like she was slipping away. She was the one who encouraged me to go after you and I promised her I’d take you to go see her as soon as we’d had a chance.” He shrugs, his face now blank, “Guess now I get to call her to tell her it didn’t work out anyway.”

You’re a bit taken aback by his willingness to just give up on your relationship and so it takes for him to put his shoes on and grab his duffel bag that you realize he’s actually walking out on you. You follow him to the living room, “Really, Seb? This is it? We’re not even going to talk about this?”

He turns around, “Unless you can give me a good reason not to,” 

“I just told you!” Your voice is a little-high pitched, but fuck it, “I swear, if you meet my parents you would understand.” 

He scoffs, “Yeah, I can see that going well after all of this.” He takes a step towards you and kisses your cheek, a sad, “I’ll be seeing you,” escaping him.

You want to tell him to stay, want to work through this, but nothing comes out and so all you can do is watch him leave.

Your parents, bless them, believe you when you tell them you’re not feeling too well and think you might be coming down with something even though it’s mid-June. Your father offers to drive back from the airport and so you end up in the passenger’s seat, giving him directions back to your apartment, your mother admiring the surroundings from the back seat.

You tell them to make themselves at home, thankful there’s a spare bedroom for them, and that you’ll just go to bed for a couple of hours, trying to sleep off whatever it is they think you have. You apologize for not being able to show them around town, but your Mom tells you not to be silly, that they’re here until Thursday and that there’s time. 

Surprisingly you fall asleep the moment your head hits the pillow, exhausted from this morning’s strange turn of events. When you wake up some time in the late afternoon, you find your parents on your balcony, each with a glass of wine and sharing one of your mother’s famous cheese platters. A smile plays on your lips when you open the fridge and see it’s well stocked, because of course your parents have gone grocery shopping. It’s then you see a stack of freshly folded towels on the dining table and so you walk to the balcony and thank them for what they’ve done.

“Oh honey,” your mother says, “it’s the least we could do.” 

You lean against the railing, telling them a little more about your job here while one by one you steal the grapes from the plate until your father gently slaps your hand and mutters, “Leave something for the rest of us, will ya?”

“It’s ok,” your mothers throws you a wink, “I know how much you like them so there’s more in the fridge.”

“Listen,” you push yourself off the railing, “why don’t we head outside for a little? Take a little walk around the neighborhood and maybe grab something to eat?” You could do with some fresh air and some time away from your apartment, you realize. 

It isn’t until Wednesday night that you tell them about Sebastian. You’ve taken the day off work and toured the city with your parents, thankful that they already went to Alcatraz on their own on Monday, because it would have been impossible to fit everything into a single day otherwise. You’ve shown them the Golden Gate Bridge, visited Alamo Square, wandered around Chinatown, and ended up at Fisherman’s Wharf where you’re treating them to some of the best seafood in the city at Alioto’s Restaurant. 

They take everything surprisingly well, even though your father reprimands you for not telling them sooner, because they would have liked to meet Sebastian when he was in Charlotte and before all this.

Your mother hits the nail on the head when she tells you, “You think you’re doing what’s best for everybody by keeping things to yourself, not wanting to be a burden to anyone” she holds up her hand when you start to protest. “I mean it, honey. You need to talk more. Not just about the bad, but about the good as well. Don’t keep everything to yourself, it’s not healthy. And I’m not saying you should talk to us-”

“Your mother’s right,” your father chimes in and taps your head, “There’s always been so much going on in here that I’m afraid soon not much more will fit, kiddo.”

“We know you might not want to talk to us, per se-,” your mother puts her hand on yours, “but at least talk to Nathan. You two always were two peas in a pod.”

“Heck,” your father grins, “we knew the moment the two of you were born that we would be in the backseat for the rest of your lives and sort of counted on you two to take care of each other in that regard.”

“Or Lauren,” your mother suggests then. “She always seems to be able to talk some sense into you.”

“Nathan knows,” you offer, plucking at your napkin to keep from crying. You really should have given your parents more credit. You clear your throat, “He doesn’t know about our fight yet, but I’ll call him this weekend.”

“You do that, honey,” your mother says, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “And try to make things right with Sebastian, ok?”

Your first text after you’ve dropped your parents off at the airport on Thursday morning, after promising you’d come to visit them soon, is to Lauren:

911

Her reply comes seconds later

Calling you in five

She just sighs and you can hear the frustration seeping through your phone, “So you haven’t talked to him since?” 

“No,” you admit, merging onto the exit that will take you to the office. 

“Babe,” the accusation in her voice is very obvious and so you keep quiet, waiting for her to tell you you’ve fucked up. She doesn’t disappoint, “You’re an idiot.”

“I know,” you nod, even though she can’t see you. “I know, ok? I just-”

“You need to fix this.” 

You’re about to protest that you can’t, that you’re sure he doesn’t want to see you again, but you know she’s right, so you quietly resign, “Yeah.”

“Call that girl,” Lauren suggests, 

“Who?” 

“You know, who helped us last time you fucked up?”

“Julie?”

“Yeah!” You can hear the excitement in her voice, “I’m sure she’d help you out. Again.” 

“I guess,” you say just as you pull into your parking spot. “Listen, I gotta go, but I’ll keep you updated, ok?”

“You do that,” Lauren replies. “Love you, babe.”

“Love you too.”

Of course Julie helps you, because as she admits, she’s been rooting for you and Sebastian ever since the Infinity War premiere, although you might have told her you just wanted to surprise him. No need for her to know how bad you fucked things up. She tells you where he’s filming in Greece the next six weeks because even though it’s not a Marvel project she knows his schedule. She offers to find out where he staying and promises to send you the address details as soon as possible. You tell her you’ll come visit her once you’re back in San Francisco and take her out for dinner and some drinks as a thank you for all her help.

Julie comes through and sends you the address of the hotel where both cast and crew are staying at only a couple of hours later. Google tells you it’s both about half an hour from the airport and the city and that unfortunately they don’t have any vacancies. You find a hotel a few blocks away and book the room for a week, even though technically you still have to ask Deb for time off. When you call her she lets you go on the condition you’ll keep checking your emails at least once a day. 

And so, after organizing everything in just two days, here you are, ready to board your flight to Athens. You pull your phone from out of your purse and find your brother’s name in your contact list, calling him just like you promised your parents you would.

“Hey,” 

“Nate?” You’re worried, because you can’t even remember the last time he didn’t call you a loser when picking up the phone. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” he sounds surprised you even ask. “I figured you might not want to talk to me.”

“Dude,” you chuckle, “I called you, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, ok,” 

“So I guess the parents told you what happened?” You get up, grab your bag and walk to one of the big windows next to the gate, where it isn’t as crowded. 

“They did. I just- I’m sorry.”

“What? No.” You shake your head, “I fucked up, Nate. It’s all on me.”

“Well,” he says and you can just imagine the smug grin on his face, “if you insist.” 

“You’re still an asshole for not telling me earlier though,” you counter with a smile, “but no, this whole thing with Sebastian is on me.”

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“I’m about to fly to Athens-”

“Jesus Christ,” he scoffs. “Why can’t it ever be normal with you?”

It’s then you hear your row being called for boarding and so you end with an, “Love you, Nate. I’ll call you when I get back, ok?”

“Yeah, you do that.”

You try to figure out a game plan in the taxi that takes you from the airport to your hotel, but in the end you decide to just wing it. Losing a couple of hours of time difference during your flight means it’s already afternoon by the time you make it to your hotel. It’s hot and your clothes stick to you wherever they can and so you decide to grab a shower first. Rummaging through your bags once you’re done you find one of your favorite summer dresses, a mustard and white striped cotton dress that hits just below your knee. Of course you pair it with your trusted white Converse before you head out. 

There’s a line of cabs waiting in front of the hotel and when you tell the driver the address he lets out a low whistle, “Very fancy hotel.” 

“I guess,” you reply, smiling at him through the rear view mirror. The butterflies in your stomach prevent you from any small talk and so you stare out the window instead, admiring the view. It’s only a couple of minutes later when the cab driver pulls up in front of a beautiful white building, the name of the hotel in black letters next to the entrance. You hand him some of the Euro bills you took out of the ATM at the airport and tell him to keep the change.

He frowns when he counts the money, “You want me to wait for you, yes?”

“Oh no,” you’re quick to reassure him. “At least, I hope not.” You also realize you must have given him more than a generous tip if he offers to keep the car running, but it’s fine. You hope he at least gets to keep it and doesn’t have to give it to his boss.

As you get out of the car you take a deep breath, the butterflies still fluttering about, and straighten your shoulders, hoping no one at the front desk will ask you who you are.You walk in with purpose, nodding to one of the receptionists as you pass her and then you’re in the elevator, relieved when you see you don’t need a key card for it to work. You press the button for the fifth floor, remembering the room number Julie gave you, and when the doors open you follow the signs to his room. It’s in the far corner somewhere, last door on your right, and you get an overwhelming sense of déjà-vu when you knock and wait for him to open the door.

When he does, you can see his eyes widen in shock when he takes you in, surely not expecting you here.

“Hi,” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “Can I come in?” 

He throws a look over his shoulder before he looks back at you and shakes his head, “I uh- Now’s not a good time.” 

[imagining-supernatural]

The First Article

Part 11 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary: You wake up after the big fight with Sebastian

Word Count: 1941

When you woke up, the first thing you noticed was a new glass of water, your morning pills, and a banana on the bedside table.

You’d been so caught up in your fight that you hadn’t realized you’d forgotten to take your medicine. Sebastian, apparently, had noticed. And if he laid them out for you, it would seem he wanted you to continue your treatment.

Because he was a decent person. Because it was his fault you were here. Because he pitied you. As soon as people found out you had cancer, they immediately pitied you.

But that’s all it was.

Pity.

As soon as the treatment failed, or succeeded and you were recovered from surgery, he was sure to drop the divorce papers in your lap, give you a one way plane ticket to Salt Lake City, and tell you he hopes you have a good life.

It’s what any sane person would do.

It’s more than you deserved, to be honest. After everything you’d done in your life…

As you stared at the pills, you debated with yourself.

On one hand, you promised to fight. You promised to see this to the end.

But on the other hand… you knew your track record in life. If you were being honest with yourself, you knew how this would end. And it wasn’t going to end with surgery. It wasn’t going to end with you being cancer free. It wouldn’t even end in remission.

So who were you fucking kidding?

Carefully, you swung your legs out of the bed, ignored the pills, and quietly exited the room. Your bladder was insistent, and, much as you wanted to, you couldn’t hide out in the guest room all day.

As you washed your hands, you stared at yourself in the mirror.

You look like hell, he’d said. And he was right. You lost so much weight that your cheeks were sunken. Sure, cheekbones were sexy, but not like this.

You looked like death. That’s what he should have said. It would have been more accurate. More predictive.

Walking out of the bathroom, you wondered if you should start packing up your shit. Maybe when you told the nurses that you would see them on Monday, that would be the last lie you’d ever tell. From now on, you could tell the truth. You wouldn’t be around long enough to see the fallout that blunt truth would have.

“Hey,” Sebastian greeted, startling you. He was sitting on the guest bed. “You take your medicine yet?”

“No,” you stated, beginning your new truth-telling life. Besides, he could very well see you hadn’t taken the pills, since they were untouched on the bedside table.

He swept the pills into his hand, grabbed the glass of water, and walked over to where you’d frozen in the doorway. “Take ‘em. I grabbed some takeout. It might need to be heated up a bit, but I thought it’d be easy on your stomach.”

“Seb—”

“And I’ll give you my lawyer’s number so he can help you draw up whatever papers you need to give you peace of mind that I can’t be responsible for your debt. That way you can focus on your treatment.” He shoved the glass of water in your right hand and dumped the pills in your left.

“Seb—”

“I’m not arguing with you, Y/N. Take your medicine.”

His eyes were unrelenting, so you huffed a deep sigh and downed the pills.

“Sorry for jumping on you this morning,” he said quietly.

“You don’t—”

“Shut up and let me apologize, Y/N. You were right. I didn’t really understand what I signed up for, but I don’t regret anything. I should have tried to talk to you before I yelled. I shouldn’t have made assumptions.”

“It’s okay,” you murmured.

“No, it’s not. I was wrong, Y/N. I just… When I saw all that, I got scared, okay? And I took it out on you. It wasn’t fair of me.”

What could you say to that? You nodded, hoping he’d accept that response.

Luckily, he did. You let him lead you out to the kitchen and sat on a stool while he set to work heating up the takeout.

“There’s something else we need to talk about,” he hedged.

“Okay,” you whispered.

You’d expected him to explain, but he didn’t say another word until your food was in front of you. Even then, he gave you an expectant look and waited until you took a bite. Once you swallowed, he was satisfied enough to pull out his phone and click around for a bit. “I’m surprised we’ve kept it a secret for so long, but word’s out. Someone saw us in Vegas and took a picture.”

He slid his phone across the counter to you. Right there on Entertainment Weekly’s website was a grainy picture of you, Sebastian, and Elvis in what was unmistakably a Vegas wedding.

“At least they didn’t get a picture of your face, so no one knows who you are.”

“Yet.”

“Yet,” he agreed.

Sebastian reached across the island and tucked your hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek with his hand. When he nudged your face up to look at him, he offered a small, genuine smile. “I’ll get you through this, okay? I’ll take care of the media and whatever shit comes our way from that. You just focus on the treatment.”

All week long, the only time anyone else touched you was when the nurses hooked you up to the machines. So, to feel Sebastian’s hand on your cheek was jarring in a way. It felt good.

You covered his hand with yours and gave him a weak smile.

With a decisive nod, he withdrew his hand and pushed your food closer towards you. “Good. Now eat.”

Your first mistake was telling Sebastian you felt better than you had all week.

It was a mistake because he had interpreted that as I’m definitely feeling up to leaving the apartment on a Saturday night.

And that was how you found yourself sitting in a booth at his favorite diner. No one asked any questions when he asked to be seated at the booth in the back. It was the one that had the most privacy.

As your waitress, Selena took your orders and made small talk, you kept second guessing everything you’d ever said to her. With how often you and Sebastian came here, you’d spoken with the employees here quite a bit. Outside of the hospital staff and Sebastian, they were the people you interacted with the most.

What did they know about you? What had you told them? What could they tell the media, if asked? What details about you did they remember?

“Hey, Y/N.” Sebastian waved his hand in front of your face. “Where’d you go?”

From across the diner, Selena’s laugh drew your attention momentarily.

A quick look around assured you that no one could overhear you, but you still kept your voice low. “Selena has a two year old son who had a cold two weeks ago, which is why she missed work on Wednesday and Thursday. His dad is a slime bag who bolted as soon as Selena found out she was pregnant and she works over 60 hours a week just to give her son, Timothy, what he needs. Timothy likes to be called Tim and his favorite animal right now is the elephant.”

Sebastian raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting you to say that. “Okay?”

“If I remember all of that about her, what does she remember about me? What could she tell someone else about me? Especially someone who knows how to dig into people’s pasts? I’ve talked to so many people here, and what if they remember something that helps someone figure out who I am—who I was. I know you said you’d take care of the media, but I can’t stop worrying. I’ve told you I have a shitty past and I really don’t want it to ruin your career because trust me, if the gossip in my hometown is anything to go by, people won’t understand what I did.”

Hell, people didn’t even know half of what you did.

Just as he opened his mouth to respond after a moment of considering your words, Selena came back with your food. Besides your orders, she placed two slices of pie on the table. “On the house. Gwen says you look like you need some more meat on your bones and if you don’t want the pie, tough shit.”

Sebastian laughed, and you forced a smile on your face as well. Gwen was the owner of the diner and she was a charming old lady. In the few weeks you’d been here, you realized quickly that she considered Seb like her own family and was very generous towards him. And, by extension, you.

“We wouldn’t dream of saying no to Gwen,” you said, trying not to sound as weak or anxious as you were.

“Good. I don’t want to see her come over and give y’all a piece of her mind along with that pie.” With a wink, Selena turned to take care of her only other table of the night.

When she was out of earshot, Sebastian motioned to your plate and you took a bite of your salad while rolling your eyes. You’d nearly forgotten about his insistence that you eat while he was gone.

“Marvel’s got a great PR team, Y/N. Whatever the media vultures dredge up, they’ll spin it in a good way. When I told you not to worry about the press, I meant it. And if you want to take preemptive action, we can let the PR team know what might come up and they can have a plan in place if people do dig that deep.”

As you fixed your baked potato and took a bite, you considered his words. It made sense. Didn’t mean you wouldn’t worry, though. “I’ll think about it.”

He was curious, you could tell. But you appreciated that he didn’t ask you to tell him what you were so scared of in your past. Maybe he would bring it up again when you were home, in private, but for right now, he changed the subject.

Dinner passed quickly, and when Selena came by to grab the payment, her face was more serious than you’d seen her before. “Thought I’d warn you there are some cameras out front. Brett just came back from his break and said the back way is clear if you wanna avoid them.”

Seb’s eyes darted to yours and you saw his brain turning over as he thought of the best course of action.

“I’ll run your card and be back. Let me know what you wanna do then and we’ll make it work for you.”

She left and Sebastian leaned forward. “What do you think?”

You scraped the last of the apple pie filling from the plate. While your first instinct was to consider every variable and come up with a course of action, you made the conscious effort to push down those thoughts. “You told me not to worry about the press. That’s your job, so I’m going to leave it up to you.”

In the end, you did end up sneaking out the back. Sebastian kept his arm around your shoulder as you walked through the back alley to where Sean was waiting with the car on a side street. As you got into the car, you noticed a camera flash on the other side of the street.

So they patched things up... but can this shaky relationship stand up against the media? And what is she so worried about the media finding in her past? 

Chapter 12: The Second Check-In

[oliviastan17]

Just a dream (6/7)

Warnings: this is really fluffy, I wouldn’t call it smut but it’s more than a mention of sex, pregnancy and childbirth (nothing graphic), language, 18+

Length: 3.7k

A/N: Part 7 is coming but I think it’s the last one because I haven’t had a dream continuing this series in a while. I’m working on writing out a one shot dream I had though so look for that. And I never know, that one shot could turn into another series. DO NOT POST ON ANY OTHER WEBSITE! Reblog and leave comments and all that good stuff!

———–

You were 35 weeks pregnant now. Your mom had called saying that she decided she wanted to throw you a baby shower. She was always doing things last minute and if she had called one week later you wouldn’t have been able to fly out there. You hadn’t seen a lot of your family in a while. Your brother had flown out once with his kids and your mom. You and Sebastian had gone back for Harper’s birthday. You were really looking forward to going home.

Your flight got in late so you and Sebastian went straight to the hotel. While you got in the shower he ordered room service so it was waiting for you when you got out.

“You are the best. Seriously, what did I do to deserve you?” you asked while climbing awkwardly onto the bed. It was getting difficult to move.

He just smiled and brought you a plate with a cover still on top as you leaned back on the headboard. You placed a pillow on your lap and the plate on top of it. He kissed you before turning back to grab another plate. You took the top off the one in your lap and you froze.

“Um…this isn’t what I was expecting,” you said darting your eyes to look at Sebastian who was walking back towards you.

He smiled as he kneeled by the side of the bed and reached for the ring box that was where you expected to see your dinner.

“You know, I’ve wanted to do this for a while but I wanted to wait until we’d be around your family. I know your mom was bummed when she couldn’t hug you and celebrate when we told her about the baby,” he said taking your hand. “Y/n, I love you with every ounce of my being. Nothing would make me happier than spending the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Will you marry me?” he asked opening the box.

You were too busy staring in his eyes to even look at the ring.

“Oh, babe! Of course I will!” you said smiling and leaning in to grab his chin and pulled his lips up to yours.

After he put the ring on your finger you grabbed his face and brought it to yours to kiss him over and over. As he hugged you, you brought your hand up to look at the ring on your finger.

“Holy shit!”

He pulled away and saw you looking at the ring. It was a princess cut diamond (2 carats at least) with small diamonds around the band. It was beautiful.

“You did good!”

“I know,” he said smiling at you.

You were talking about the ring. He was talking about you.

“I love you so much,” you said as you held his face in your hands.

“I love you too,” he said and then you pulled him in for a kiss.

It was a passionate kiss. Neither of you could help it. There was too much love flowing through both of you.

Sex while you were this pregnant was a bit of a challenge but not impossible. You started off doggy style but the weight of your stomach hanging down was hurting your back. Missionary also put too much strain on your back. You tried laying on your sides facing each other but your stomach got in the way. Laying on your sides with your back to his front was working. You could still turn your head to kiss him and he would bring his arm around you to grab your breasts and then to rub your clit.

You didn’t feel the need to have the best sex ever. You just wanted to be close to the man you loved. He, however, refused to leave you unsatisfied so he worked his magic and you were soon clenching around him as you came.

The next day was the baby shower that quickly morphed into a baby shower/engagement party. Seeing as your dad was not in the picture Sebastian had called your mom and brother to let them know his plan before you had even left New York. He knew you felt the asking for permission thing was outdated. He needed your and only your permission to marry you and that was all. Your mom was thrilled, made all the party arrangements and made sure all your closest friends were there. Your friends and family got you so much stuff you were going to have to mail it all back to New York.

It was a short trip but it was a great trip. You were sitting in the first class lounge at the airport waiting for your plane and looking at the pictures you had posted on your private Instagram when you got a call from Chris.

“I had to find out you’re engaged from your Instagram?!”

“I thought Seb would have told you! You talk to him more.”

“Yeah, but I’ve known you longer. You’re like the sister I never wanted.”

“Don’t you have a sister?”

“Whatever. I am prepared to perform the ceremony whenever it is. How’s little baby Chris?”

“His name is not Chris.”

“What is it?”

“He doesn’t have one. Nothing goes with Stan.”

“I’ll think about it and text you some suggestions.”

“Please don’t. Even if I like it I wouldn’t choose a name you suggested just out of principle.”

Over the loud speaker you hear they are beginning boarding for your flight.

“I would love to continue this conversation but I’ve got to go. They’re boarding my flight.”

“Alright, I’m coming to NYC soon so I’ll see you soon. Maybe 3 weeks or so.”

“Alright, see ya.”

Chris got you thinking about how you didn’t have a name picked out so that’s what you did on the plane.

 “I think it has to be 3 syllables. That’s why Sebastian works.”

You pulled up a website that had 3 syllable boy names and went through the list.

“Found it. Blueberry.”

“That can’t be on the list,” he said in disbelief. Then you showed him your phone.

“I’m gonna say no,“ he said.

You spent the entire flight tossing around names but were not able to agree on one you both liked. You wanted to pull the ‘I’m carrying him so I get to name him’ card but you actually liked that he cared so much. He was very much involved during the pregnancy and read all the books he could. It was very sweet. You weren’t wrong. He was going to be a great dad.

 —————

One month later you were absolutely over the magic of it all. Your back was hurting, you were peeing every single hour and you could barely stand up from a sitting position.

“Please get out of me,” you said looking down and talking to your baby. “Does this make me a bad person?” you asked Sebastian.

“No, I’d probably be saying the same thing,” he said pulling you in for a hug. It was a side hug because your belly was too big.

“Will you please tell him to get out?”

“It’s only 1 more week. Hang in there for 1 more week.”

“Ugh, if I have to,” you said dramatically rolling your eyes and walking into your bedroom.

“I love you.”

“Yeah yeah yeah.”

When you went to bed that night you were sound asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow. Growing a human was no joke. A pain woke you up in the middle of the night and Sebastian woke up to see you sitting up and taking some deep breaths.

“Oh my god, is it time? Are you okay?”

You didn’t respond until the pain had passed.

“No, it’s just Braxton Hicks contractions. I’ve been having them since yesterday. They stop after a while. Go back to sleep.”

You both lay back down and he rested his hand on your stomach gently drawing imaginary shapes with his fingers. You felt the pain again 7 minutes later. And another 7 minutes after that. You gave up on sleep at that point and got up and went to the living room to watch some TV. You were flipping through the guide when Sebastian came in to join you.

“Ugh, really?” he asked when he saw what show you started to watch.

“It’s my guilty pleasure. Deal with it.”

He sat down on the couch pulled your feet onto his lap and massaged them as 90 Day Fiancé started. It was a show about Americans applying for a K-1 visa to bring their fiancé over from other countries who then had 90 days to marry or be sent back to their country. Some of the foreigners were only in it for the green card and some were in it for love and it was fun to guess which was which. The show fascinated you. But it had caused a small argument between you and Sebastian.

Flashback

“You’re telling me that if I still lived in Romania and we met there, you wouldn’t bring me here on a K-1 visa?”

“If I’m being honest, probably not.”

“That’s messed up.”

“If you lived here and I lived in Romania would you bring me here?”

“Yes! Without a question!”

“That’s insane! These people barely know each other and they have to get married. Most of them have only physically spent less than a month together.”

“How well would you have to know me to bring me here?”

“I don’t know. I feel like we would have to physically be together for at least 6 months before I would think about it.”

“Six months? I would have brought you over here after our first night together!”

“If I brought you over here I would be financially responsible for you and I would be fucked if you screwed me over.”

“I wouldn’t do that!”

“I know you wouldn’t. Why are you so upset? This is a hypothetical situation. We are together.”

“You’re too practical! Can’t it just be about the love?”

This went on for an hour.

“These two are never going to work,” you said talking about the couple on the TV.

You had a contraction again and noted the time telling Sebastian to write it down. Two hours later they were 5-6 minutes apart and not stopping when you started walking around the apartment. You realized these weren’t Braxton Hicks but it was still a little early to go to the hospital. You wanted to labor at home for as long as you could.

“Do you have your bag packed for when you are ready to go?” he asked.

“Shit, I was going to do that today but I was too tired,” you said walking into your bedroom.

You packed, taking a break with each contraction. Sebastian was helping you when you stopped and placed your hands on the bathroom counter, gripping it tight.

“Ah, fuck!” you said through your breathing as Sebastian rubbed your back. He felt absolutely helpless. There was nothing he could do to take the pain away but he desperately wanted to.

A few hours later the contractions were getting even stronger and were now 4 minutes apart.

“Okay, it’s time to go,” you said. He had wanted to go an hour ago but you were being your stubborn self so he didn’t push it because he knew he couldn’t change your mind.

You were walking into your room to change out of your pajamas while he was calling the hospital to let them know you were on your way. All of the sudden he heard you yell, “Mother fucker!”

He dropped his phone and ran into the bedroom to find you looking up at the ceiling in disbelief.

“What?”

You looked at him and pointed to the floor. He looked down and saw that your water had broken. Everywhere. Thank god they were wood floors.

“I was really hoping if my water broke it would be a slow leak and not a waterfall,” you said laughing and beginning to walk to your closet to change your clothes.

He just smiled, grabbed your arm so you turned around and held your face in his hands. “I love you.”

You pulled him for a hug and a kiss. “I really, really love you.”

After arriving at the hospital they confirmed that you were in labor and actually already 5 cm dilated. Once in a room and in a gown you were hooked up to the fetal monitor and checked out by the woman who was going to be your nurse.

“Do you need anything hun?”

“Drugs. I want all the drugs,” you replied.

“Absolutely!” she said laughing. “I think anesthesia is just down the hall so I’ll let them know you’re ready for an epidural. You need anything, Dad?”

Sebastian was slowly pacing around the room with his hands in his pockets entertaining weird thoughts in his head to help keep him calm and didn’t hear anything.

“I don’t think he’s answering to Dad just yet,” you smiled. “Seb!”

“Mmh?” he said turning around.

“If you need anything the nurse’s station is just out the door and to your left,” the nurse said.

“Yeah, yeah okay,” he said while rubbing the whiskers on his chin.

She left and soon after the anesthesiologist came in and administered your epidural. Once it started to work you were able to take a nap thankfully. You had barely slept and been up since 2am. It was now 9am. You weren’t sure but Sebastian may have dozed off on the couch that was there for that exact purpose.

Your nurse came in to check your progress every hour or so. At 2pm she informed you that you were fully dilated and it was time to start pushing.

“Oh god,” you said as you realized this was it. You were about to see your son for the first time.

“You can do this. You are amazing and I love you so much,” Sebastian said encouraging you.

For the first 30 minutes it was just you, Sebastian, and your amazing nurse. Every time there was a contraction you pushed as hard as you could while the nurse counted to 10. You would take a breath and push again as long as the contraction lasted. You didn’t know how anyone did this without an epidural. Sebastian was holding your hand and holding one leg up while saying sweet and comforting things so you felt really bad about what came out of your mouth.

“Oh my god, Seb shut up. Seriously just shut the fuck up!” you said mid push.

Once that contraction and push were over you said, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I just need you to not talk when I’m pushing. All I want to hear is the counting. I’m sorry! I love you.”

“It’s okay. Just tell me what you need,” he said so calmly while he brushed a piece of hair out of your face which made you feel even worse for the way you talked to him and then he kissed your temple.

Once you had made enough progress more nurses came in with your doctor and an infant warmer. It was really time.

“You ready to have a baby?” your doctor cheerfully asked.

“I guess it’s too late to change my mind.”

“I would say so!” she said laughing while putting on gloves and a gown, then sitting on a chair and getting a view that only Sebastian had ever seen.

After the first push and everyone in the room saying encouraging things you looked at Sebastian with an annoyed expression so he spoke up and said, “She only wants to hear the counting when she’s pushing.”

You mouthed ‘thank you’ to him.

After 5 minutes of pushing your doctor said, “Okay, you are doing great Y/n! I can see the head! Sebastian, do you want to see?”

As Sebastian looked he kept your hand in his and then looked back at you and said, “Oh my god, he has so much hair!”

“One more push Y/n and he’ll be out okay?” your doctor said.

You nodded and looked at Sebastian.

“Okay push! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and here he is!” she said as she placed your baby on the blanket a nurse had placed on your chest while she wrapped the blanket around him and began to clean him off a little. The doctor instructed Sebastian on where to cut the umbilical cord and he did.

Then you heard his cry for the first time. He was here. Finally. He was beautiful. It was all worth it. The pain, the discomfort, the constant peeing, the lack of sleep. You would do it all again just to relive the moment of seeing him for the first time.

Sebastian brought his hand up to cradle his son’s head. He had no words. He just had tears falling down his face and a deep love filling his heart. He put his arm around you and brought his temple next to yours as you both looked at the precious baby you two had created together.

After a minute or two the baby nurse took your son over to the infant warmer to weigh him and get him cleaned up.

“Go with him,” you told Sebastian even though it was only 6 feet away from where you were. Sebastian only took about a 100 pictures. Once they had cleaned him and swaddled him up, Sebastian got to hold him for the first time. He thought his heart was going to explode. Between his love for you and for his son he was sure his heart wasn’t big enough to handle it.

When your doctor was done taking care of you Sebastian walked over to you and placed your son in your arms. You brought your hand up to pull Sebastian in for kiss and told him you loved him. You both stared at your son who was wiggling in your arms. He was the living proof of your and Sebastian’s love.

“Congratulations! You did great! Do you have a name for him yet?” your doctor asked you.

“Maverick,” Sebastian replied never once breaking his gaze from his baby.

“Are you a Maverick? Do you like that name? I hope you do cause we couldn’t think of anything else,” you laughed and your son responded with a smile in his sleep.

 ————

Once you were transferred to the postpartum unit the adrenaline of the day wore off and you were just exhausted. The epidural was wearing off so you were in pain as well. Your nurse gave you the pain medication your doctor had prescribed and that made you fall asleep fast. When you woke up Sebastian was sitting in the rocking chair in the room with his shirt off and was asleep holding Maverick against his chest with a blanket covering them. Your nurse had made a point to tell Sebastian that skin to skin contact is not just for mom and baby but that it’s important for him to do it too because it helps with bonding.  Your heart just about exploded with the love you felt looking at the boys in your life who completely owned your heart. You took a picture so you could remember this moment forever.

Maverick woke up and started crying so Sebastian placed him in your arms and you began breastfeeding him. It truly was a blessing that you had no problem breastfeeding. Maverick latched on perfectly.

You FaceTimed with your mom but you couldn’t be positive she could see anything through her tears so you sent her a ton of pictures and videos.

 Sebastian’s mom came to see her first grandchild. She was so happy and gave you about 7 hugs throughout her visit. On her way out she whispered something in Romanian to Sebastian that he later translated.

“She said I did good. That I picked a good woman and made a beautiful son. She’s proud of me.”

Chris came next.

“I come bearing gifts!” he said handing Sebastian a bag. “Where is he? What’d you name him? Can I hold him?”

“This is Maverick. You can hold him but support his head,” you said handing Maverick over to him.

“Hey little guy! I’m your Uncle Chris! Oh my god he is so cute! Middle name Chris?”

You shook your head no. He still didn’t have a middle name yet.

“Really?” Sebastian asked after opening Chris’s gift. He held up a onsie with a picture of Chris as Captain America and underneath it said “My uncle is the shit!”

“What? It’s the truth!” Chris said.

You just laughed. You actually really liked it. Chris stayed for an hour or so and left so you could breastfeed. You were officially done with visitors. Now you focused on bonding as a family of 3.

After one more day in the hospital you and Maverick were cleared to go home. It took you 10 minutes to teach Sebastian how to strap the car seat in the back of the cab you were taking home. The cab driver was so sweet and patient, never complaining and not even starting the meter as you made sure the car seat was secure.

Once home you were breastfeeding Maverick in your bed and Sebastian sat next to you. He loved watching you feed your son. When Maverick was done eating Sebastian changed his diaper and then placed him in the bassinet you had set up next to your bed. You both stood there just watching him sleep. Sebastian put his arms around you and kissed the top of your head you were resting against his chest.

He was an amazing father. There was no arguing over who got up in the middle of the night to feed or change Maverick’s diaper. He always got up, even if it was just to bring Maverick to you to breastfeed. You were also pumping your breast milk so that Sebastian would be able to feed Maverick which he wished he could do all the time.

Two days after you had gotten home, you had gotten out of the shower and walked into your bedroom to find Sebastian asleep with Maverick asleep on his chest. It was a precious sight. Your own father was in and out of your life when you were a kid and never showed any affection. Now you hadn’t seen him in over 10 years. You knew Maverick would never have to deal with that and that made you so grateful Sebastian was his father. You couldn’t decide who was luckier; you or your son. 

Next Chapter

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