#my favourite girl faliure

[milktian]

ough playing reverse 1999 and the en voice for regulus is the same as kira from pl vs aa im living my best life rn

[danielle-dna]

19 - Great Expectations

Despite barely scraping enough UCAS points to get me to university and having the honor of being the first person in my family to go to university, I still felt like an absolute faliure.

It dawned on me that I will never be a doctor. I will never be anything I wanted as a kid. A rock star, fashion designer, actress... all of those were young girls wishes. Sometimes life happens and things don't go according to plan. Sometimes we lose people close to us but sometimes we meet people who change us for the better.

Still, I couldn't help but notice that my inner child often cried and mourned the person I could've been. If only I had both parents. Maybe then my mum wouldn't be so overworked and she could actually afford to send me to guitar lessons when I was younger. If only I had more money and an easier job. Maybe then I could afford to spend more time studying and actually get to the prestige course I wanted. If only I was pretty. Maybe then I wouldn't get bullied as a kid and I wouldn't carry all this emotional baggage with me.

This was hard for me to process. But I knew I couldn't share any of this with Simon. The man has seen horrors and death. What do I have that is worth mentioning?

My mum and I finally moved to our new, smaller and cheaper flat. It was modern and fairly spacious, but nonetheless it was a studio, meaning I wouldn't have my own room anymore. And I would have to share the bed with my mum. Again.

After unpacking what seemed like a bloody warehouse, I finally, FINALLY managed to decently organise everything. Despite knowing that mum WILL re organise everything when she returns from her two week placement, I was satisfied with my progress.

I looked at some of my empty sketchbooks and art supplies that I haven't touched in months, maybe over a year. Why did I stop?

I guess I got too exhausted and depressed about everything, that way didn't have any inspiration, let alone willpower to draw anything. Looking at the empty room that has become my habitat, I picked up my phone and invited Simon to a little "housewarming party".

-

An hour and a half later, Simon and I were already doing my favourite kind of yoga position: masked man bridge pose. Well, I was doing the bridge, he was doing the rest. Honestly, I had no idea how could he still have so much stamina.

"Simon, fucks sake, take it easy, this is a new bed." Replying with nothing but a smirk, he grabbed my butt and picked up the pace.

This went on for another hour, during which, I also took the lead sometimes and demonstrated what kind of fanfictions I have been reading as a teen.

After we were both kind of tired, we just laid on the bed, naked, embracing each other. Simon was kissing my cheeks and caressing my back. "You hungry, love?"

I couldn't help but smile at him. "A little, maybe. Just had the dessert." Giving me another kiss, he stood up, butt naked, and started going through my fridge. "Bloody hell, you ever have any food?"

"Sometimes, check the freezer, there may be a frozen pizza."

Thank fuck there was, or else we would have to go out and actually TALK to people.

It is my firm belief that frozen food, especially pizza is humanity's greatest achievement. After dinner, we both laid in the bed, touching each other and talking about our lives. Simon even told me a few funny stories from deployment. I was happy to see both sides of him. He was so much more than just a stoic lieutenant.

And then his very large friend demanded attention again. I was more than happy to give it. Whilst I was in the middle of a very passionate blowjob, I head EDM bass coming from the upstairs flat. I was surprised, since most of my neighbours were very quiet, reserved and peaceful. "You are so good at this, love. You wanna keep going?"

I nodded with my very full mouth and kept going. Then I had enough and pushed Simon back to the bed, took his mask and put it on me. This seemed to turn him on even more. Throwing him a condom, I waited patiently so he could put it on. When he was finished, I pounced on him and rode him like it was a competition.

But there was just one...tiny...tiny...problem. The fucking music wouldn't let me concentrate. In sheer frustration I took off his mask, got off of his hips and silently yelled in the pillow.

"I'm sorry, Simon, I can't focus. I fucking can't." With that he stood up and banged on the ceiling a few times. Nothing.

"You can report them to the landlord tomorrow. Wanna keep going'?"

With a facefull of sheer annoyance I nodded and spread my legs.