#my fave part is the no assholes sign tbh | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

edengarden · 4 years ago

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hey man when you have the time can i pwetty pwease get a music matchup!

3 positive traits of mine areeee: brave, resilient and friendly!

3 negatives are: obnoxious, stubborn, extremely distrusting

my hobbies include: true crime, baking, reading and crying over video games

my music taste is mostly rock, other close faves are metal, punk, folk anything super upbeat but depressing and indie! though as for most people im open to all kinds too uwu oh and i know its not a genre itself but im also a huge sucker for songs where the singers get so into singing they have that kind of loud yell/growl in some parts of it? i ascend to another realm when i hear it tbh, sorry if thats like incomprehensible orz

what i look for is kindness, sincerity, humour and passion tbh

things i dont like in people are mostly just genuinely mean people who feel the need to put others down. not in a joking friend asshole way but in a genuinely malicious way. cant stand em, i can will and have gotten into fights with these ppl. why be mean when u can be... nice and help ppl and make them smile like... i just dont get it.

my big three star signs are taurus sun, cancer moon and pisces rising. idk jackshit abt but ppl call me baby bc of it and i am NOT a baby! i may look like a blue haired version of the aDAM vine guy but!! im not baby, i am bastard if anything.

im also an entp-t if that uhhh helps.

fun facts about myself, uh im super good at reading people irl, im a human lie detector and it freaks people out. this uh.. does make me have trust issues.

i once got into a fight in a library with a group of people bc they were blackmailing one of my friends. i subsequently got kicked out but! i did win and my friend wasn't harassed by those ppl ever since.

oh im rly good with animals, i have a reputation where i live for taking in animals and helping them find their homes!

im very loud and stupid, it bewilders people how stupid i am. ironically ive got medals for academics. you wouldnt think that of someone who quire literally kept pushing a pull door in front of three people and proceeded to say "damn :/ i think this door is stuck" and then immediately have one of those people silently pull the door open and... man you can imagine the faces they all gave me. orz.

ooookie dokie i think thats it! sorry if this was too much! if you want me to elaborate or need any help deciphering my bullshit ill call myself 💥anon and ill try to help anyway i can

anyway thanks for your time i hope you have a fantastic day!

GROWLINF SINGERS ARE THE BEST I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOOOODDDDDD. I GET EARGASMS I SWAR THE EMOTIONS ARE OFF THE CHARTS-

Also, you sound like a MOOD. I’m a Taurus sun too UwU

I’d match you up with Semi!

Okay I know this sounds like a rough match but listen, listen... your taste in hobbies and music is IMMACULATE to him. Kudos to you, he respects the fricken drip.

I can also very easily see you two cuddled up on the couch late at night and watching buzzfeed unsolved?? Like that’s your ideal date??

And Semi finds your “stupidity” so endearing?? For some reason?? Like yea he’s gonna scold you for trying to push a “pull” door but oh my god he can’t believe that you’re the same person who’s acing all their classes, it’s mind-boggling. You’re his little phenomenon.

Semi will always go to you when he gets song inspo. Whether it’s lyrics or instrumental, he wants your opinion on the matter even if you’re not that music oriented. The only thing is he might get a bit shy showing his work to you if you’re mentioned in the lyrics or if it’s obvious that the song is about you. Please praise the poor boy he’ll deny it but he’s melting and/or blushing. If he manages to get some funky growl vocals or instrumentals, or REALLY good chords and dissonance and you react in any way (whether it be a gasp or a literal pterodactyl screech), he’s gonna feel so proud omg omg from now on his goal is to get that reaction from you as often as possible.

Thank god semi isn’t a “I’ll hold ur flower bby you go beat up the assholes” type of boyfriend bc you’d get in trouble so often?? I think Semi would cut the bullshit and remind you that getting hurt over that isn’t worth it. He’ll physically hold you back if he needs, I swear. But usually, he’s got the words necessary to explain to you that no, throwing hands in this situation will not improve it at all so please don’t go punch a nazi in the face you can just film it and call the person out so that the world can see. Semi’ll help you find out who they are and together you’ll report them to their workplace and have them fired. Semi will teach you the ways of cunning revenge.

Songs!!

- Sons of the Silent Age, David Bowie (THE EMOTIONS THE EMOTIONS THE EM- Semi practically mastered that song because the two of you sing it so often)

- The Dogs of War, Pink Floyd

- Owner of a Lonely Heart, Yes

- Money, Money, Money, Meryl Streep, Julie Walters & Christine Baranski (the growl you’ll love the growl and so does Semi)

#haikyuu matchups #haikyuu!!#matchup #semi eita

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supreme-sauteer · 4 years ago

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Tagged by: @a-krelboyne

Name/Nickname: Hax

Gender: Male

Star Sign: Pisces ♓︎

Height: 6′... maybe?

Birthday: February 24th

Fave Bands/Musicians: hard to say anymore tbh

Song stuck in my head: This

Last movie: uhhh all the way through, Lupin III The First, otherwise some detective conan movies my friend was scrolling through

Last show: I think it was Lupin Part I?

When I created this blog: waaaaaay back in 2012

Last thing I Googled: apparently something on google translate

Other Blogs: Don’t worry about it

Do I get asks: in 2021? nah lmao

Following: people and such

Instruments: i mean i tried to play guitar once but then the teacher was an asshole

Why I chose this URL: it’s an old joke me and a friend had together

Nationality: Sadly Am*rican

Average hours of sleep: anywhere between 4 and 12 hours of sleep. depends on the day

Lucky number: 4 or 7

What Im wearing: hoodie, Viewtiful Joe shirt, and pj pants

Dream trip: I don’t really know. California would be cool when it’s not on fire, Australia I guess, maybe Ireland? I don’t really have a dream trip I just wanna see the world

Favorite Foods: Beef Patties, Black and White Cookies, italian icies (or however tf you spell it)

Favorite Song: don’t even know anymore

Top 3 fictional universes: Magi, One Piece, Yu Yu Hakusho

I'm tagging @snorlaxlovesme @thedragonsung because i’m pretty sure they’re the only ones left on here lol

#Shit Hax Says

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flying-elliska · 5 years ago

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Ok I caught up with wtfock s3 because well, it felt weird to leave unfinished (except a few clips i just didn’t want to watch, like the attack one). here’s what worked and didn’t for me (i’m pretty critical so don’t read if that sort of thing upsets you or you’re not in the mood) because i still think having this story remade so often is an unprecendented storytelling experiment worth thinking about even when it doesn’t entirely work (and i think argumented criticism is good, but if you post hate about the actors/fans etc you really suck tbh) :

- to start with positives : like many said, the acting was pretty damn good. overall wtfock has a really solid cast. the willems have succeeded in creating an onscreen queer intimacy that feels very believable, no holds barred and no awkwardness, and they have to be commended for that. there’s a lot of chemistry and tension at first between them, which then turns into something very soft and sweet and puppy-love-like. it was nice seeing Robbe evolve and the sweet bean energy that emanates from how the actor plays him is very very powerful. i also loved the warmth of the flatshare, and as a Dutchie I just adored the Sinterklaas bits, it was so funny and i loved the found family vibes. warmth is just something they do really well, esp with the last clips, perfume shopping, playing board games, the party at the end. They use the Christmassy vibes really well. the cinematography has its moments too, contrasts between warm and cold, the episode at the beach is gorgeous, the sequence in the tunnel, the light on their faces when they are in that classroom surrounded by drawings. wtfock as a whole is also good at creating some very lovable secondary characters, be it Milan, Yasmina, Noor, or especially king Senne. So, I do understand that there are things to love about this remake, which is probably why my disappointment feels so strong. I really wanted to care about these characters in their journey.

- on to the controversial : i don’t necessarily fault them for wanting to show a more prononced aspect of homophobia. i think the debate about this often lacks nuance. on one hand, this is the sixth remake, and homophobia is something that is still often prevalent, and having one remake show that out of six is not in itself a problem. on the other, yes, happy fluffy stories are important, but sometimes people who have gone through stuff like this also need to see their experiences represented. the power of skam is that it shows difficult experiences BUT ALSO a happy ending. that can be very healing, i think, compared to other stories which focus only on the drama. the trouble is, i don’t think they dealt with it very well, or put any effort into processing the consequences of these harrowing things. and if you don’t, it feels cheap.

- on to my main gripe : the writing. previsible, i know. but to me, essential. and this is not about them ‘changing things’ - i like when remakes change stuff, when they do it well. the thing is, i have been burned too many times before. and when i sense that the writing is being wack, it makes it automatically much harder for me to invest emotionally in the characters. and simply put there were signs early on that made me distrust the writers. for starters, the first two episodes gave me a feeling that they didn’t have their priorities in order. the POV-immersion and depth is one of the most powerful aspects of skam, and it was lost. too many early clips felt out of Robbe’s perspective, and when it was him it was about Noor ; a few clips to show his discomfort were on point, but there were too many of them, and there were repetitive, losing time on what isn’t really an essential part of Robbe’s journey. and while they were spending time on clips that felt like misery flavored filler, they decided several times to condense original clips focused on Isak and Even, together ; like their first meeting and then their first hangout, or later in the series OHN and the minute by minute talk. and i think their story suffered from that. i think because they don’t have a real discussion early on, the buildup of their relationship feels mostly based on physical attraction. and while it certainly is a thing that happens, it just isn’t my fave love story thing. i missed the sweet pining from afar and tension that makes later drama believable. it felt like they brought the drama comparatively too fast without enough character work to make it worthwhile. Also there is just too much time spent on Zoenne drama, and their breakup seems like it foreshadows the dreaded s4 love triangle, which, yikes. the focus is all over the place, the rythm felt incoherent.

- what’s more, they decided to introduce pretty grave elements of plot, like Robbe using slurs against Sander, the homophobic attack, the suicidal urges on both their sides, Sander kissing Britt while he was still saying I love you to Robbe in the morning, without either proper build up or resolution. It made it all feel cheap, jarring, and unearned, especially when they didn’t put trigger warnings or made jokes about it on insta or waited forever to give news about the characters being ok. it felt like drama for the sake of drama, and definitely not written with a vulnerable audience of queer teens in mind. and at the same time, when it came to the ‘big scenes’ of their relationship, like the first kiss or the universes talk or sander’s episode, it felt more or less lifted from OG without a lot of effort made to adapt it to them. i actually quit live watching/blogging after the first kiss scene, because of how similar it was, and how uninspired it felt, and lukewarm. it felt like a lack of imagination. when it came to OHN, the scene in itself was lovely, but the weird time gap, random timing and people seemingly doing nothing after a suicidal Sander disappeared, sort of broke it for me. In the OG the combo of buildup, longing, realisation, fear, release works so well in a sequence, and splitting it over time really diluted it, to me. Similarly the quickly thrown out ‘life is now’ at the ending felt sort of out of nowhere, while in OG it was such a lovely bookend, him apologizing to Eva and reflecting on his growth. The symbolism, which ties everything so beautifully together in themes of rebirth, salvation, baptism, union, faith, deciding your own narrative in OG, here feels inconsistent. There is an attempt I see, something about wasteland vs. warmth/family, but it’s often absent of main clips. It’s nowhere near as coherent as it could be.

- all of this builds up to the main problem for me, of the season. which is, i didn’t really get into Robbe and Sander’s relationship. Or their individual arcs for that matter. When it comes to Robbe, I guess he just isn’t my type of character. I feel like he is missing the fire of an Isak. A lot of the time he just felt too passive, like he let other characters make his decisions. I was waiting for him to stand up for himself more than he did. And there are too many scenes of another character doing his coming out for him. And then Sander ; I have to say I don’t understand all the love his character gets. Maybe because that’s because he sort of gives me Dutch fuckboi vibes...but there were several times he just came accross as a flat out asshole. I found him intriguing in his intro clip, chaotic and charming, but that never really went where i expected it to. i didn’t get his passion, what drew him to art. the symbolism around his character - basically Bowie, and drawing Robbe, and Chernobyl (which is a bit tasteless imho, turning a tragedy like that into a cutesy romantic thing), feels ...disjointed, and shallow to me. Like I never really got into it. And maybe some people did and noticed deeper links but to me, I got stuck at the surface. I saw a lot of interesting theories with what was going on with him but in the end they just copied OG. And I’m sad to say, but he ended up feeling like a manic pixie dream boy cliché to me, and i just didn’t understand what drew them to each other so strongly. Yes, Robbe is caring and Sander is in need of care, but that feels like a very reductive reproduction of OG. Beyond that...i don’t know. Certain complexities of the OG i loved just...were sanded away, like Isak being ignorant about MI and learning compassion. This just...didn’t feel like it had the same depth, and often felt like soapy teenage drama, leaning too hard and too lazily on the actors’ chemistry. i like my romances wordy and solidly enmeshed in character development, and this was not it. It never felt like they had a real conversation about things, esp after the drama.

- i think this is the first remake that made me actually angry for reasons not related to problematic cast shit, and so i’m trying to analyze that emotion. for me it comes down to too much drama, too heavy handed. Too much of the boy squad being shitty to Robbe, too much Noor, too much filler clips without any deeper meaning, too much things distracting from getting to know the main characters and going into their issues in depth. They changed stuff, but didn’t have the guts to actually follow through. They broke the mold but only in ways that ended up feeling shallow and unconsequential. Like I would have loved seeing Robbe go to therapy ! see his mom ! Zoe and Robbe go to the police together ! Sander have a complicated home situation ! or doing a Bowie related art installation to express his feelings of alienation ! seeing more of the underground graffiti scene ! or just...something, idk. And them also removing the faith-related themes also felt disappointing. and the ohn clip taking place in the place where sander draws feels very....basic to me, even if it was pretty. very ‘oh he’s an artist, here is his safe place’....hm, okay. I didn’t like that they made Britt into such a villain, I didn’t like how the boy squad showed no care for Robbe whatsoever for weeks until the plot said it was time for them to be redeemed in a way that felt too jarring, and I didn’t like that they made Moyo so horrible but redeemed him so easily. I actually thought they would show that it’s okay to separate yourself from friends who are that bigoted, because it just shows they are not willing to care for people. And him suddenly saying those sweet and mature things felt too out of characters and a ahah ‘gotcha’ rather than depth . I didn’t like that Robbe, too, was made so virulent by his internalized homophobia but got over it so quickly. I think what disappointed me most, in the end, was that I kept picking up potential and the show kept doing absolutely nothing with it, or confirming my fears, and it made me feel stupid and out of tune with whatever they were doing. And it’s, to me, symptomatic in modern storytelling of a trend to privilege shocks and twists over inner coherence and build up. And it makes for...Very underwhelming stuff, in the end.

- all in all, i think this remake illustrates why s3 of OG is not as easy to remake as it sounds. it’s very intricate machinery, with a pitch perfect rhythm (and an extremely passionate nitpicky fanbase lmao). and if you don’t get all the parts of why it’s so great, you’re going to lose a lot of it. (and all the remakes ended losing up stuff in translation ; more or less compensated by inventivity and charm of their own.) so many mainstream press articles praise the real time/social media format and the ‘real talk about teen issues’ which, yeah, is part of the success, but doesn’t explain the devotion on its own. there’s the way the story uses real time to build up a storytelling rythm that feels organic and makes sense as if it was part of the lives of the viewer. There’s foreshadowing and aftershocks. Wtfock often feels like they wrote the clip numbers on darts and randomly threw them at a week planner. If an episode of a regular series ends on a cliffhanger, we can be thrilled and frustrated and put it aside for next week. but if you end an episode with a character shown to be suicidal, or you don’t show them being okay after a beating, for hours or days, that’s the emotion you leave your viewers with, because skam is a continuous experience. and remakes who pile on drama moments without respite (looking at you too skamfr s4) don’t get how tiring and disengaging this can be, in this format. skam worked so well because of how benevolent it was, on the whole. and also, cheeky, with that ‘don’t take it too seriously’ deflating humor. grumpy isak in ‘hate me now’ mode getting bumped into. this lightness and comedy often feels missing here. also my god the social media is absolutely terrible. plus...there is too much filler. honestly, them having more time, on the whole...ended up being a bad thing. Plus Wtfock feels like it has so much more unadressed plot points, like...why did Sander change his mind exactly and kiss Britt again ? How did Robbe’s mom react ? Who did the attack ? What is happening w Senne now ? etc. And it feels like they just missed the fact that OG, however subtly, did adress those things.

- now, don’t get me wrong, i’m happy it’s popular in Belgium. On the whole it’s still a beautiful story of love and acceptance. and that people found something in it that spoke to them. but as a remake, it’s probably one of the most disappointing yet, to me. and i sort of...don’t get the hype. and i don’t want to be too ‘oh cute boys kissing’ cynical about it. but i think this illustrates why in the end, this is also very subjective. there are probably things i missed because i didn’t feel the need to examine it in depth or do the extra emotional work that comes with being a devoted fan of something. and some of their choices made me angry, and i’m not forgiving when it comes to these things. i still wish them success for s4 and whatever else, but i don’t think i will watch live, at least unless it gets really rave reviews about their treatment of Yasmina’s season. i mean they got s2 right, who knows?

#wtfock #also i'm willing to discuss this reasonably but any sort of hate will be deleted on sight lol #i thought a lot about posting this or not but then i was like well this is my blog and i have a lot of emotions about this #so i needed to process

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izzy-b-hands · 4 years ago

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SHOT A GUN??!? LEE OMG, now you have to tell the story cause i'm curious (same goes to ruined a surprise)

From this post, for reference for anyone seeing this who hasn’t scrolled my blog today lol

The ruined a surprise one was pretty tame, and actually has happened more than once. As a kid, I would be told not to tell my mum or another family member about a surprise being done for them for their birthday. But I always wanted to make folks happy, and that was such good news to give them, my tiny brain would tell me. So inevitably I would roll up to the Birthday Person like a week before their party and be like “wouldn’t it be cool if you had [surprise thing X] at your party? Wouldn’t that be the best?” And they would go “Is that thing going to be at my party?” and I would immediately start giggling and give away the surprise lmao. My family still doesn’t tell me surprise stuff in advance now, and tbh, that’s fair. Though I will say, I have halted my ruining of surprises lol.

Put the gun story under a cut for safety’s sake. TW for mentions of abuse mentions of rape, mentions of death, hunting (idk if it’s a trigger for anyone else, but it is for me, so I’m adding it here), and racism.

The gun story is...more lol. My ex-stepdad was a proper Midwestern racist, sexist, homophobic, redneck asshole who loved guns and the flag more than anything else (aside from himself, naturally) and as a part of trying to “bond” with me before he ended up proposing to my mum (after barely six months of dating! And she said yes! But that’s another tale) he tried to teach me and get me to use all the weapons he loved so much.

Now, the bow and arrow I legit did and do still love. I never get to use it now, but I have a bow and my arrows with their hunting tips, and refuse to get rid of them in case I ever get a chance to go to a range again and shoot some of those foam cubes (my fave targets to use.) However, he was not content for me to just use that, and he really wanted to take me hunting.

Few issues with that:

-At the time, I was a middle schooler campaigning against the wars in the Middle East, using what little platform I had as a kid to protest; namely wearing an actual peace sign necklace to school and challenging other kids to debates about the wars. My government and history teachers did enjoy me for that, though I will never forget the government class where they let me go up against the entire class in debate. In one corner, seventh grade me, against the wars and war in general while still respecting that at least some soldiers are people who want to do good and think they can do it by being recruited but also acknowledging that the military targets minorities of all kinds knowing they can be more vulnerable to wanting to help others, and the military can prey on that to recruit people. In the other corner, the literal rest of my class, who were all too happy to pile on me about things not even related to the debate, even the ones who admitted they were on my side of the debate, but chose to instead use this opportunity to yell at me.

-As a result of the above point and other things, I Did Not and Do Not like guns. Not comfortable around them for many reasons, and since that age have believed in gun control.

-Also a result of the above point, was for peace in general and was not a fan of hunting. As I grew, I learned that there are some cases where hunting is actually needed to cull populations so they don’t overrun areas, but seventh grade me didn’t know that, and just wanted all animals to be allowed to live without people like my then-stepdad hunting them. Tbh, they still should be able to live without my ex-stepdad hunting them, because he should not be allowed weapons of any kind.

So needless to say, I didn’t want to even hold any of his guns, let alone shoot one. I managed to actually avoid that bit until after they got married.

Then, he turned into someone completely different from who he had been when they were dating. The full story of how he was abusive and what we went through for five years isn’t something I’ll put here because this is already long, but all of that does play into why I did not want to go hunting with him (in a field, in the middle of NoDak, just me and him, no one else around for miles and no cellphones? Not cool, putting it mildly) and why I did not want to handle his guns.

Unfortunately for me, my mum insisted I wasn’t trying hard enough to help him adjust to having a child, since he had been a single dude, married only once before for about six months, with no kids. He had nieces and a nephew, but otherwise he wasn’t used to kids. Part of my making ‘a better try’ with him was to go hunting, and let him teach me to shoot.

So, we went out hunting a few times. Pheasant, and deer, and that was alright. I wasn’t thrilled to be out there, and I can still smell how his truck was just saturated in the scent of dead animal and I hated and still hate that scent burned into my memory, but I got through it.

It was in the backyard of our house with his makeshift (read: not all right for guns or bows, really shitty) range that it came to a head, and I got to fire a gun for the first time.

I still question why he gave me a pistol. You don’t really use a pistol to hunt deer, you know? And he could never tell us why he had so many extra pistols, since he did have his one for work as an officer at the Penitentiary, and it seems like that one should be enough. By the time we left him, he had two huge gun safes full of pistols and other guns, including weapons that by law no one should be able to purchase, but no one checks in on the two assholes meeting in the Wal-Mart parking lot who have trunks full of weapons they want to sell without getting in legal trouble.

But I digress. He showed me how to hold it, to make sure I’m always pointing down-range, to only point at something I intend to shoot. To always treat the gun as if it was loaded, even if I was 99% sure it wasn’t. I give him that, because that is decent gun safety, and he could have been really terrible and not taught me that.

Once he had me set up in front of a target, he told me to go for it, to expect the recoil (I was chubby, always have been, but I hadn’t started seriously lifting weights at that time, so my arms were really reedy and physically even that pistol’s recoil flung me back some.)

I shot, and I wanted to drop it and run inside. It was loud, and the smell of gun smoke and ammunition is unpleasant. I felt like I’d betrayed something inside myself in that moment. This was what the troops learned how to do, what people who hurt others knew how to do.

But my mum had been really mad at me for not being better to him (in retrospect and after therapy, I was fine, just being a kid in early puberty. My therapist says my mother should have stood up for me. I’m not in a place to assign blame like that yet, and maybe I won’t ever be.) So, I stayed put, and I shot a few more times.

He noticed I had tears in my eyes, and started to complain about “the peaceful pussy shit getting in the way of me being taught something important” and he told me I needed to stop crying right away. I’ve never been able to do that, and I cry all the damn time; if I’m really angry or sad or happy, my body responds with tears that give me migraines that are hard to turn off once started.

He got more angry, and told me I needed to learn how to do this because if I didn’t, what would I do if someone broke in? Would I let them hurt my mother? Rape her? Kill her? If he wasn’t there (and he often wasn’t, due to his job and his hunting trips) it would be up to me to save her, didn’t I care about knowing how to save her?

I argued that I didn’t think a gun was the answer to that situation, that self defense and what weapons are used during it was too much for me to discuss with him.

He started talking about the black family that had moved in down the street, about the friend I had at school who was Muslim, about how diverse (read: not that diverse, this is the mid-fuckin-west that has a long way to go re: diversity) our state was becoming. About all the things he was ‘so sure’ they and their families would do to us, to me, if given the chance. All incorrect and horribly racist things, but he didn’t care, because he was always right, in his mind. And I wasn’t allowed to call him out and say he was wrong, or at least that was what my mother would tell me.

“You like peace, so learn to help me keep it.”

Instead I told him that it wasn’t right to say those things, that no one was going to try and hurt us like that, and that the notion was ridiculous. Shouting, I told him I was more scared of him and what he might do with his guns than what anyone else would do to me.

He went very quiet, took the pistol from me (that I was still pointing at the ground, like he showed me) and told me to go to my room.

He stayed out the rest of the night shooting his various guns, only coming in to switch weapons or get more ammo, refusing to come in for dinner until I had finished mine and was away from the table. He didn’t speak to me for the next week, and as scared as I was of him, it was some small relief that he at least wasn’t yelling at me or asking me things that made me uncomfortable.

In a weird way, I’m glad I’ve shot one before. When I’m debating with people in my area about gun control and other issues, they instantly respect you more if you can say you’ve shot before. Otherwise, they talk over you and don’t want to listen to anything, no matter how nice or calm you say it.

At the same time, I recoil any time I hear anything like gunshots, and I can’t ever imagine using a gun again. Even if I was told I must, I don’t think I could. I’ll hold my bow and arrow, keep the bat I keep in my room at all times to ease my paranoia, but I can’t ever imagine holding a gun again.

#text post #ask box things #my bad that the second story is so long #but I haven't told anyone the whole story aside from my therapist #and this was cathartic #and probably explains some of my paranoia and PTSD to y'all as well lmao #bens-jawline

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cowboylikedean · 5 years ago

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FIRST THOUGHTS

Okay everyone welcome to my Lover first thoughts!!!

Overall: I love this album. It isn’t what I expected at first, I was expecting something stripped an acoustic but it is what I hoped for. If I wasn’t going to have stripped and acoustic, I wanted something Bubblegum in the modern way Carly Rae Jepsen is and guess what? I got an album that sounds like my FAVORITE parts of EMOTION from nearly top to bottom. This album is a lot so it’s gonna take a while fo me to digest, but I adore it. It’s already up there with Speak Now, Red, and reputation in my top tier.

Below is my track by track

I Forgot That You Existed: I’ve seen people skip over this one but honestly? I needed it. I don’t know who she’s talking about, she lost a lot of friends summer 2016. But I am singing about that jackass who up and left my life and took me for several hundred dollars and then laughed as his asshole boyfriend posted a long ass blog post lying about me, misgendering me for sport, and making fun of me all while laughing about how he’s “not nice” (and being proud of that) when even HIS FOLLOWERS called him out for being cruel. I had that moment where I forgot that he existed and it was so freeing. This is gonna be one of my most listened to.

Cruel Summer: This song. Holy wow. Like talk about bridge city I guess lmao! Nah but it’s a vibe. and the chorus is so exciting and like I mentioned Carly Rae Jepsen and like THE CHORUS CAN’T YOU HEAR HER???? I love this theme all over this album about falling into a relationship with someone in the midst of something hard or pushing through something difficult with someone. Cruel Summer is the first instance of this in this album and I’m going to need more time with the lyrics… There’s little things that I’m gonna need more time with… But I adore this vibe where she’s like telling the other side of Getaway Car. In Getaway Car we learned that you can’t run away from your problems, it doesn’t end well. In Cruel Summer we find her release in doing so. We find how that release of running away was what she needed to find herself and stability again. We find that without her past, she could never have arrived so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent, exquisite happenstance… here.

Lover: Instant fave the second I heard it. Best love song she’s ever written and I 100% understand why she named the album Lover. This track is beautiful and the slower tempo doesn’t in any way detract from the sheer joy and excitement expressed in the song. It’s a public declaration of a private love in the most excited way and I get it. Also I did get some acoustic singer songwriter on this album!!

The Man: DID I HEAR TAYLOR SAY BITCH TWICE?!?!??!? also fuck she’s right. and I GUESSED HOW THE LYRICS WE HAD WOULD SOUND AND I WAS RIGHT i felt like a bomb when that happened. hahah tbh though, not my fave. Don’t get me wrong, far from the worst but just kind middle of the road to me. Also I think it’s the breakdown after the chorus that pushes it towards the middle to me. But again… Bridge city. The bridge is by far the best part of this song.

The Archer: I still think this is my favorite song on the album. It has already helped me so much and I think Taylor and I feel depression, anxiety, and other stuff very similarly. Basically everything she’s released about it has highly resonated with me. I have so much to say about this song and its impact on me but I don’t think if I said all of that it would be much relevant to this post. Basically, I never grew up it’s getting so old. This song helps me grow up.

I Think He Knows: This song is so fucking fun and cute I jive and the chorus again I feel the Carly Rae vibes… I also love “bless my soul” like that’s such a great lyric. This is another one I feel is middle of the road for this album though. Like as a pop song, it’s top rate. As this album, it’s middle of the road. I’m happy to hear the vocoder again though!

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince: So I love this song. Everyone loves this song but I love this song both as its political commentary and just a commentary on depression in general. Like as a song about the specific depression and disappointment that struck us all after the 2016 election, it’s nearly flawless. As a song about disappointment and depression in general, it’s nearly flawless. I really love both readings but in the later, I really love the line “they whisper in the hallway she’s a bad bad girl” because in this reading, I like to see that about Taylor and how she is Miss Americana and the heartbreak prince. idk I think the fact that this song can work in both contexts’ and have completely separate meanings speaks to the strength of the songwriting. I’m so impressed. She hit it out of the park with this one.

Paper Rings: OKAY SECOND FAVORITE/TIED WITH FAVORITE HAPPY LOVE SONG WOW WOWOWOWOW The Last Kiss reference, the vibe that sounds like a teen movie when the kids break out and are running wild and free, idk why but I love “The moon is high just like your friends when we first met” it’s just so…. vivid. You cannot miss the feeling of freedom. This song is about finding freedom in love. Falling in love is the most exciting and free feeling in the world, whether that is romantic love or not and this song captures that feeling when you get to that ledge and you just….. slip. And the best part is it works for everything. Like idk I’ve always been able to take the feeling a song presents and take it out of its specific context and apply it to another instance of that feeling so I can easily take this song about the freely falling in love and look around and find hundreds of applications. Every time you love something or someone to the point where you don’t need anything else than what they give you to feel whole and complete, this song is there in the background reminding you that you do in fact like shiny things, but you don’t need them. Because this thing or person is all you need. LIKE STOP IT’S SO GOOD also 100% if she sang it with a country accent, it’d be a country hit. It sounds so much like Sam Hunt I cannot even, i have died.

Cornelia Street: The ROOFFKLJDSLKFJKSLDJFKLSDJLKFJLKSDF also like I am here for the storytelling songwriting so much. This is another one I need more time with but I think it’s already a classic. Again, it’s so nice to here something other than “I love you and everything is great” I mean it is like that but it’s the fear of being forced to say goodbye and how that would feel. It’s knowing you’ve gone all in and there’s no turning back. I see this song so beautiful contrasted with All Too Well. All Too Well focuses on a heartbreak that only time could help, but it seemed like time wouldn’t. It takes you through the beginning, middle, and end of that relationship and explains why it hurts so much. Cornelia Street takes us through this relationship, especially the beginning, and explains why this would be a heartbreak time couldn’t fix. It’s so vulnerable and honest in some really beautiful and profound ways.

Death by a Thousand Cuts: Okay so first of all, I would ADORE this song if that very low bass and synths weren’t there. I don’t know why they’re there but it muddles they for me and I can’t focus on anything because it’s like everything else is covered in a thick layer of mud trying to move around. Second I have no idea who or what this song was written about but it’s jarring to hear a breakup song on this album. I love asking the traffic lights if it will be okay and them saying “I don’t know.” Like that’s honestly incredible writing. We’ve all had those times when we’re hurting or scared and we’re in the car and we’re looking for a sign it will be okay but we have nothing. Also I need more time with the second verse. There’s so much there, I haven’t had time yet to process.

London Boy: “But God, I Love the English.” Yep you got a TYPE GIRL!! this song is so fun!! it’s so bragging… I love it! She’s just like “yeah I love a London Boy what OF IT BITCH” and it just feels like a mic drop like she’s like doing that move where you slam your hands at your crotch like a dick??? like idk it’s such a bde to me. Like she’s name dropping all these London things and bragging about how she’s English now because she’s got this guy and bragging about her type and her Anglophile fetish and idk it just feels like “you got something to SAY??!??!?!” I’ve heard that vibe is very London but idk because I do not have a london boy like she does.

Soon You’ll Get Better: Either Taylor played the album in the wrong order for these fans at the secret sessions or something because this 100% is that song she couldn’t listen to. I have heard it once and I am doubtful to listen to it again. I have listed to Ronan 3 times total. Soon You’ll Get Better is up there. I can’t. I’m so lucky my Dad is in remission and has been for 10 years… If his cancer came back, I don’t know what I’d do. It’s my biggest fear. And the Dixie Chicks sound beautiful on this track, so does the plucking country instrumentals. Gorgeous. I just… can’t. I admire Taylor and family for sharing this, but I can’t.

False God: I understand why this comes after Soon You’ll Get Better. She needs that thing to fall into, to give herself over into. The hard times my hurt and might be difficult, but they don’t end a relationship. Soon You’ll Get Better is a really hard time and a sick parent can put a lot of stress on a relationship and False God feels like the perfect way to pick up the main overaching love story and give it a response to Soon You’ll Get Better. It’s hard, but they can get through it. Even if it’s a false god, they’ll be there. That said, this song is far from my favorite. I feel so disconnected from it. It just feels boring. I get sucked in the last few lines of the pre-chours where she rushes through the lyrics and then the chorus is nice, but by the time the chorus ends, I’m bored again. The production gives me almost nothing. It feels like What A Feeling… a perfectly fine song, but boring as fuck and like it’s got a vibe that I don’t really fuck with. Like it feels like a song you get high to… and I don’t get high often, and I only do it ever when I’m going to sleep. So it feels like I’m going to sleep.

You Need to Calm Down: Let me start by prefacing that I ADORE the song. It was really important for her to say and I needed something to respond to the internet’s take down cancel culture and remind me not to get in the middle of the fights. However, this song sticks out like a sore thumb to me. It doesn’t feel like it fits. Coming after False God it feels like a complete outlier and like it doesn’t relate to the rest of the album. I could see an argument that it is about basic human respect and that kind of love and therefore has its place, but is this placement in the tracklist it??? I am thankful for the break when YNTCD comes because Soon You’ll Get Better is so heavy that it caries over to False God, but YNTCD feels completely unnecessary if you skip Soon You’ll Get Better and all of that heartbreak. Again though, it’s a classic and I adore it. Just not sure if I adore it for this album.

Afterglow: It’s so nice to hear a song from Taylor in which she apologizes and makes up after a fight. I don’t know why but I was worried she wouldn’t let us into the fights her and Joe have. That we would be outside. But like Ed said in End Game “you know that good and bad end up in a song.” Having a song from Taylor after 13 years that shows her experiencing conflict with a partner, apologizing, and ends without an end to the relationship…. And in this song it’s different from how she previously portrayed conflict too. Mine, in it’s hypothetical, expresses her “partner” chasing after her in. ME! (which we’ll get to in a second) also shows that kind of conflict resolution. Afterglow shows her taking responsibility and chasing after them. It’s one of my favorites for sure. Never underestimate the value of an apology. I have a lot to say.

ME!: First of all, fuck everyone “Hey kids, spelling is fun!” is hilarious and I cannot BELIEVE she took it out I am pissed. Second, I like this song so much more in the context of the album. Coming after Afterglow, it is important the next song both take responsibility for her negative traits that lead to that conflict and also not dwell on it. Me takes the whole conflict of Afterglow and reframes it from “I fucked up please don’t leave. Love me despite my flaws?” to “I know I’m difficult, but I am also so much more and damnit, I love me so I know you do too.” While the production still feels a bit hokey, I understand it’s purpose. I will forever be bitter about spelling is fun and you all are so mean. I hope you enjoy what you’ve done monsters.

It’s Nice to Have a Friend: My least favorite song on the album. It’s just so boring to me. The steel drums are nice, but it doesn’t feel like it ever goes anywhere. The chorus is too short and simple and I just feel nothing. idk I like the story I guess… meet in school, hang out timid first step… but then it ends in marriage? Haven’t we done this with Mary’s Song? idk i think I would like it better with a bridge in between the second chorus and the third verse because it’s like they skip the whole dating step. They go meeting, timid first step, MARRIAGE!!!! and the chorus is just not enough to separate second step from third. That and the fact the production doesn’t really go anywhere… It’s just so one note and boring and without any sort of conflict. I get it’s supposed to be like a daydream, I think… but even day dreams have conflicts. idk it’s a bad story because there’s no movement.

Daylight: I see why this album was almost named Daylight. I’m going need a lot more time with this song. I can see it being one of my favorite Taylor songs ever eventually but I need to memorize every second of it to let myself go into it. The Red reference FUCKED ME UP. And the voice message at the end. And just the release of this song. The whole thing is an exhale. A total release of tension. It’s truly astonishing. Like I said though, to really immerse myself in it, I’m going to need to memorize it. Because it’s a release of tension, to find that and feel that, I need to focus on every lyric, every production element, every note and just….. let go. I do think this is one of the most important songs she’s ever written. Both for herself and for the rest of the world. This song is a reminder to breathe. To let it go. To focus on love. To find the love in your life. To not let it get too dark. It’s beautiful and it will keep me going on my path to recovery… as I expect it will for many others too.

Favorites (in order of most to least): The Archer, Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince, Lover = Paper Rings, Afterglow

Least favorites (in order most to least): I Think He Knows, False God, It’s Nice to Have a Friend

#lover album #personal #first thoughts!!

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afewmarvelousthoughts · 6 years ago

Text

Only For A Moment Ch. 12

Master List | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: For most of your life you’d been able to keep your abilities a secret, that is until Hydra got wind of you. After years of being in their clutches, you break out when The Avengers expose SHIELD/Hydra. Since then, you’ve been on the run. Things are going as well as you could hope when you see a familiar face… Could the Winter Soldier really be in Bucharest too?

Warnings: Smoking (idk if anyone considers that a problem other than the obvious), mainly angsty fluff.

A/N: Look, we can all be insensitive fucks from time to time. That rings especially true when you’re dealing with your own issues. The most important thing is being able to self reflect and realize that we are focusing too hard on our own issues and trying to make things right. Supporting our fellow humans is a hard but worthy endeavor and I think that the journey to learning how to be a better partner, friend, advocate is a huge part of this story. As always I’m just immensely grateful for those of you who are reading and reaching out! Like I said before, reblogs are cool and all but tbh I just like engaging with my readers (so let’s chat) and y’all have totally done that. I love ya pumpkins! (Idk why, but this is one of my faves so far.)

Tags are open!

@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby @disagreetoagree@woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky @soulless-and-sarcastic

Now, you want a cigarette. The last 24 hours have been far too much and you’re done. Bucky wasn’t wrong, you weren’t necessarily a habitual smoker but you were a ‘when you want one you need one’ kind of smoker.

You walk to the newsstand across the street to snag a pack of cheap ones and a lighter. You cross back, tapping the pack against your left hand, the lighter held in your teeth.

That first drag is almost as good as the first sip of coffee. Annoyingly you have noticed, as with drinking and caffeine, it takes so much more for it to really do anything than it used to. But the motion is still soothing in its own way. You take a long pull and look up at the blue sky puffing perfect smoke rings.

The bell on the bookshop door tinkles and Bucky emerges. “If you’re going to tell me these will kill me I would really rather you keep it to yourself.”

“They will and I wasn’t,” he leans against the wall next to you, “I was going to ask for one.” You stare at him for a long second before proffering the pack. He takes one and before you can hand him the lighter he pulls a knock-off Zippo out and lights it.

He drags hard, letting the smoke escape from his nose. You stare up at him and he looks down at you through the cloud, “Yes?”

“Just wondering why you gave me shit for smoking earlier, since you obviously do too,” you turn away inhaling and looking across the street.

He snorts, twin plumes rise in your peripheral, “I gave you shit for smoking a pack a day or more when it’s clear you aren’t doing so because you need to.”

“So what you’re saying is,” you take a drag, “if I was an addict it would be fine.”

“No,” he drops his to the ground, stamps it with his boot, and picks up the butt, all with the last vestiges of smoke curling out of his nose. He looks right at you, “But you wouldn’t be doing it for the sole purpose of hoping it would kill you.” He turns and tosses it in the nearby trash can.

“Touche,” you tamp your cigarette against the brick wall and he gives you a half-hearted smile before heading back inside.

Was I always this defensive? You wonder as you head to the trash can. Why does he keep asking me questions? Doesn’t he realize I don’t want to fucking remembe- Then it hits you and you grab the edge of the trash can groaning.

You really have forgotten how to be a human. You don’t want to remember, you want to let the old versions of yourself, the battered child and the resilient woman, you want to let them both die in the pit of forgotten things and move on, void of a past. He does not. He cannot. He needs to remember, desperately needs to find that past version of himself. All his questions aren’t solely because he wants to know you, they’re also because he’s hoping you’ll ask back so he can get to know himself.

You think back to how he lit up last night when you asked about Totonno’s, how that led him to another memory, how this morning through talking to you he remembered escorting those women to protect them. You, Y/N, are a complete and total asshole.

Back inside you smile at Mr. Goldstein and head to the storeroom. He’s sitting in his place, two more boxes on the floor back to the door. Not wanting to startle him you gently rap on the frame. “You know I heard you the moment you walked in right?” You wince a bit at his cold tone but, honestly, it’s the least you deserve.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“The way you walk,” he sets the book he’s pulled out to the side, a collection of poetry in Romanian.

“You couldn’t see me?”

“I could hear it,” you walk around him to reclaim your own spot, he still hasn’t looked at you, “hear how you set your foot down. You don’t put your heel down hard, mainly carry yourself forward on the balls of your feet,” he sets a book in its alphabetical pile. “Dancers and people who wear heels a lot walk like that. Good for being quiet, and moving quickly, shit if you want to have a solid footing.”

“That’s some hearing for a fragile old man,” that gets you a bemused look. “I don’t walk that way from excess heel wearing, I always hated heels, and I’m no dancer,” you start sorting your own box, handing him an author beginning in B. “I got used to sneaking around a lot as a kid and I guess it just stuck.”

“Why?” He asks this like he doesn’t expect an answer.

“Mom had a series of assholes for boyfriends.” He looks at you, brows knitted. You shrug. “So, I learned to be quiet. I couldn’t always just float.”

“I figured.” You cock your head, “I just… I thought… they gave you this-“

“No,” you hover a book from the top of your box to your hands. “This has always been mine.” You spin the thick volume on your upturned palm. “It’s why they wanted me.” It falters and falls, “But they did make it… stronger? Or maybe just pushed me to use it more. Either way, I used to just be able to move medium-sized objects or use it to help move big ones. Came in handy moving a couch to a 4th-floor walk up.”

He snickers, “I bet.” The silence hangs.

“So, do you have a favorite Shakespeare piece?” He looks at you hard for a second and you smile, Please just know I’m sorry, I’m so tired of saying it.

“I don’t think so,” he blankly studies the cover of a book. “I don’t remember reading many of his plays, I did take a girl to see one about this woman who was,” his eyes squint into the middle distance, reaching for that memory. “A harlot? No…”

“Taming of The Shrew?”

“That’s it!” He pulls a little notepad from his back pocket and jots it down, you can’t help but smile. “I liked it.”

“I like that one too.”

“I thought you were a tragedies girl.”

You laugh, “Yeah but 10 Things I Hate About You is hands down my favorite romcom.”

“What?”

“Romcom. Romantic comedy.” He still looks confused. “Oh! It’s a movie, based on the play but set in a high school in the 90’s. I kind of hate most romance flicks but that one is an exception.” You realize he probably hasn’t seen many movies.

“I’ll have to watch that.”

“You should,” he hands you a stack of books for your piles, “It’s silly but good.”

He chuckles, “I like silly.”

“Yeah?”

“St- a friend and I would always go see Chaplin or the Marx brothers, stuff like that. We’d go to see pictures all the time, even if we had to sneak in,” he’s wearing that sad smile. He almost said a name, you aren’t sure if he’s worried it’s the wrong name or if he doesn’t want to share it… He laughs, eyes glassy, “Got caught sneaking into Duck Soup, we were 16 I think. We ran but he, my friend, fell behind, he had trouble breathing, so I had him get on my back,” his eyes crinkle. “God, we must have looked so ridiculous.”

“Did you get away?”

There’s that incredible smile. “We did. By hiding in a dumpster,” he shakes his head, “that was Steve’s-“ he comes up short smile vanishing, takes a shaky breath, “his idea.”

You smile, “Clever.”

“He always was.” He’s so far away. “And so goddamn stubborn.” He’d said you had reminded him of someone when you were pitted against one another at the facility. You’re scared to ask but you swallow hard and go for it.

“This friend, was he the one I reminded you of? When… when we…” He looks at you, smile so tender it makes your chest contract.

“Yeah,” his voice cracks a little and he clears his throat looking away. “He was… my best friend, my… family.” His left hand seizes into a fist, the metal whirrs in the silence and the glove strains to contain it’s secret. You reach over and lay a hand over the hard metal aching for his loss, too close to your own.��

He jerks his hand back and for a moment you’re a little hurt, then you see Mr. Goldstein approaching. “You kids are making good progress.”

“Yessir,” Bucky responds, no sign of the previous emotions in his tone. He stands, grabbing his stacks. “Once we’ve finished these that’ll make six boxes.”

“Fantastic!” Mr. Goldstein claps his hands. Victor, the cat, lazily strolls in and rubs his face on Bucky’s legs. “Victor seems to approve too. I should have known you were good boys when he took to you, cats have a sense about people you know?”

You look at Victor, contentedly winding around Bucky’s feet, purring, “Yeah, they do.”

Mr. Goldstein nods. “Well once you two are done with those I’m closing up. Have afternoon Shabbat. Don’t forget to pick your books.” He turns and hobbles back to his perch in the front.

Victor is still making his circuit around Bucky. He sets one handful of books on the desk and bends down to scratch the cat's ears. “I think your senses may be a little busted, bud,” he whispers. Victor only purrs louder.

“Nope,” he looks up at you somewhat surprised, “Victor’s senses are just fine.”

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky #bucky imagine #bucky fic #fluff #soft bucky #only for a moment

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macbookpro-hard-drive · 6 years ago

Note

HI HOW DO YOU WRITE CHARACTERS

hewwo! i can answer this! im literally gonna do a quick list of both deh and bmc characters for u under this readmore! :D

im gonna start with deh because smaller cast!

evan:

isn’t so much stuttery as he tends to repeat things and uh stammer a bit here and there. stutters over his words sometimes but it’s more l-like this and uh, like… like this

evan hansen has anxiety. he is not anxiety. evan hansen fucks up and makes mistakes and probably internalizes a lot of things. very polite when in public but he can be a bit snappy (as seen w evans comment abt how zoe’s parents have never been poor i believe? it was something he said to zoe)

soft spoken, most of the time. probably not the kind of guy to vocally ask for things until he’s at a comfortable enough point that he feels like he’s not bothering you (same buddy)

i see evan as someone who gets frustrated with himself easily. not as a sense of “god i wish i were normal” but more of a “i should be able to do this, why cant i do this, i want to do this but i cant” because sometimes it’s just a matter of i literally cant do this and i dont know why? and god its so frustrating sometimes

jared:

jared kleinman is a fucking asshole and he knows it. very sarcastic and uses it to cover up his own insecurities, probably the kind of dude who laughs in your face when you tell him off when internally he’s just OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK

a lot of ppl write jared as being insecure abt his weight and tbh i don’t see that being a problem for him? i see jared as being insecure abt the fact he comes off very snarky and assholeish but he turns it around and tries to own it even though… that’s not something you want to be proud of? and he knows that

not the kind of dude who stops to assess his feelings. he powers through shit and insists he’s okay until he’s out of steam. i think it was psy who said he’s a “needs therapy boi” and tbh she’s right?

can be very passive aggressive imo it’s something he really needs to work on.

arrogant, sarcastic, and just a big fucking dick who needs to learn how to watch his mouth.

zoe:

not an pure baby angel, by any means. we’re at a disadvantage because we only see zoe when she’s sort of grieving (because grief can and will come in different ways, and while i see her as not missing connor, i do think that her pushing away her feelings is a form of her grieving imo? it’s a weird thing to explain but there’s a part of zoe that does miss (the old) connor’s presence as w the fake emails evan “gave her her brother back” (albeit a very fake version of connor) and sort of standoffish when it comes to the subject of connor

a bit of an ambivert. extremely outgoing when she’s around her friends or when it comes to music and other things she loves.

very individualistic! her style tends to have doodles on her clothes, she dyes her hair a lot, she probably would be the kind of person to make her own jewelry!

very sweet. the castng call for zoe describes her as being the kind of person who learns the names of the kids who sit alone at lunch and thats she goes out of her way to be nice to people since. connor. yeah.

thats all ive got for zoe but u can always send questions in and i can say yes or no after i ask my pals too

alana:

smart gal! valedictorian! president! i love her! tends to overshare a bit. anxiety + depression gal.

probably into gardening tbh? i can see alana having succulents in her room and maybe a dog that just chills with her.

dont be afraid to make alana mouthy. alana is someone whos extremely headstrong in her actions imo and does what she believes is right, even if others dont believe that. like… think about the fact that she literally published what was believed to be connor’s suicide note because she thought it’d get them the last bit of help they needed for the orchard. it literally fucked the murphys over - but she never considered that?

very much an extrovert. just really wants to belong, man. very optimistic on the surface but i can see her being a little less so underneath. she looks on the bright side because if she doesnt, she doesnt know who will and idk i dont think alana’s the kind of person who just... lets that risk be there.

connor:

we dont kno much abt connor in canon but uhhh…. i can see connor as being a loner, sort of aggressive by accident (tbh this dude’s probably used to people being a dick to him so he’s just sorta standoffish in response) but like… whenever i write connor i usually write him as getting better? he’s gotten the help he needs and he’s doin better

artsy depressed dude. poetry, painting, ect - whatever u want tbh. i just see connor, with help, finding himself in art or something creative (theatre and music included! u do u!)

very much a reader. this dude both has a lot of books on his bookshelf and a lot more books he hasnt fucking read because hes terrible at reading new books. (i personally hc he loves all of poe’s work)

to sorta sum connor up: bold, but not outgoing. caring, but not obvious with it (once he gets help btw). easily angered but sometimes he just doesn’t fucking know why and that frustrates him further. troubled.

honestly if u want to see one of my fave connors - check out @ask-sincerely-memes! i rly love how they portray all three of the boys, but connor is by far my favorite! (mod con and/or mod ev if u read this i love u)

OK ONTO THE BMC FUCKERS if you want to kno abt the adults for either show then feel free to ask

jeremy:

anxiety boy, but not evan hansen level of anxiety. more just… self deprecating, not super confident in himself, probably underestimates himself a lot.

jeremys hard to explain sometimes because a lot of his actions and dialogue comes naturally since i can actually relate to jeremy a lot, personality-wise? a really good fact to throw out there is i don’t think jeremy’s the kind of guy who just goes for stuff sometimes. he has to sorta be hyped up by others imo. michael motivated him to sign up for the play, rich and michael both played parts in getting him squipped (michael in the aspect of “lets check this out and see if its legit” bc i doubt jeremy would have genuinely done that on his own).

which really means jeremy isnt the kind of guy to just… confess things, unless it’s built up enough (i.e. jeremys confrontation w reader in unlonely since it was a conversation he’d been thinking about for a bit). in canon, he didnt really… confess to christine without the help of alcohol (at the halloween party) or without other people building him up (voices in my head).

im literally rereading jeremy fics rn because im trying to come up with a good way of describing him

extremely horny teenage boy. hormones suck. for anyone who writes nsfw: i dont see jeremy being incredibly kinky and sexual and dominant (god forbid) his first fucking time having sex. especially if its both him and the readers first time. sex can be clumsy. you can laugh during sex. but also sex smells. like… once you’ve smelled it, you fucking know it - its just a weird combo of sweat and bodily fluids.

that last part was just a PSA for ppl.

lightweight boy. a lot bolder when drunk. thank you.

honestly if u have any questions abt jeremy, i can try to answer them more specifically but this is as general as i can get.

michael

not an uwu anxious depressed innocent baby boy uwu. remember that michael literally withheld the mtn dew red from jeremy because he wanted an apology. remember that michael wouldnt have been squipped because michael had been completely comfortable with who he is. michael likes his place. he doesn’t want to be cool and popular - he likes who he is. michael in the bathroom was a peak moment of michael finally letting go of emotions he’d been withholding - jeremy calling him a “loser” was the final straw that broke him. thank u this has been a psa.

a goofy boy. probably snorts when he laughs and im not projecting there what are you talking about-

okay, canonically: likes video games, likes retro shit (probably the kind of nerd who LIVES for arcades and record stores and vintage clothing stores even if he doesnt mix that into his personal style), very into music. there’s a lot you can do with this!

imo he’s very caring? like. okay, yes he did withhold mtn dew red from jeremy - but michael still went through the trouble of finding and obtaining that in order to deactivate the squip. i think michael’s a fairly understanding dude, even if he has moments of anger.

just a very warm person. probably the kind of person who stops and makes sure people are okay when he notices they’re upset.

sometimes impulsive. sometimes very restless, imo. bouncy boy.

like w jeremy - you can absolutely send me questions abt michael (or anyone tbh!) and i’ll answer them the best i can! im by no means an expert but ive got pals i can bother in order to help get a solid answer :3

christine

chriiistiiiiiiiiine, the love of my life. a gal w ADD! please don’t forget that! i personally hc that she got into a theatre as a way of like… sort of getting energy out since she’s fairly restless??? track girl christine….. also good

loves herself a lot tbh! like. in the show, its canon that she has stuff to figure out but i personally think christine loves herself and her body and is proud of who she is?

very friendly, very open, very passionate abt theatre! these are basic facts lmao

very sweet! very smart! she’s like... The Girl in all the movies that everyones like “oh no i love her” bc shes just a bubbly gal

writing christine is really hard to describe sometimes. like with all the characters, i write what feels right and sounds right to me and to others.

but like... to be honest, as long as you stay a bit happy and supportive and loving with christine - you’re on the right track.

jake

god - one of my favorite boys to write sometimes because there’s a lot to do with jake’s character

he’s the ultimate cool dude in high school. probably the kind of dude who would join a frat in college. handsome, popular, flirtatious - you fucking name it man.

sorta effortlessly popular and cool. there’s problems underneath - considering his family - but it’s hard to see that he has flaws when everything just comes so easily to him.

a very caring and sweet dude tbh. his friends mean a lot to him and he’s the kind of boy who carries your books and asks where you’re going and how you’re doing

he makes mistakes. he gets aggressive and protective and just angry physically - he did try to attack jeremy, albeit drunk, based purely on the idea that jeremy was having sex w chloe - so like... that’s a good thing to acknowledge

i said hes flirtatious and he is - without realizing it. someone probably has called him out on it and he’s like “sorry what?” bc he was caught up in talking to someone and not realizing that the dillinger charm never went off. because it never goes off. rip.

rich

GOD, my FAVORITE BOY, the LOVE OF MY LIFE, i love him.

squipped: aggressive. a bully. stinky. 0/10.

post-squipcident: getting better. sorta numb at first before happy, outgoing rich resurfaces because He’s Fine! Do Not Worry! but y’know like... he definitely has a lot of problems with what he did and who he was while he had the squip

a bit sensitive imo. easily upset on certain topics, easily angered on others. really misses his mom (i hc she died and his dad took up drinking as a coping mechanism and its mainly rich and his older brother relying on each other but thats just me tbh.)

rich is tricky to write when it comes to his home life. while i see rich’s dad as being a loud drunk, others see him as being physically abusive and so forth and - okay, that’s your decision, but please make sure you’re being respectful and you post trigger warnings because some people are in abusive homes and it’s not a fun thing to read.

great sense of humor imo. flirtatious but in the more obvious “haha hey lets bone ;)” way. alternatively: flirtatious with squip, floundering a bit without it because all he knows is “haha hey wanna fuck”

would probably fight a dick for his pals. rly just loves his friends even if he doesn’t show it.

chloe

chloe is a bit hard to write without saying “shes kind of a bitch” but like... she is and she knows it and she fucking owns it.

casting call: “ confident, crass, sexy, manipulative, and downright mean at times”

so like. she’s nowhere near bein a sweet angel baby uwu

has problems. explore them. she literally was down to fuck brooke’s boyfriend since jeremy was dating brooke yknow. part of it could be alcohol but like... dont ignore that fact. like. she probs needs to talk to both brooke and jeremy.

i think of chloe as someone who can see the potential in others tbh. gets slightly annoyed when people arent achieving what they could - but i like to imagine she gets it after a while since some ppl dont have confidence and such.

yknow the kind of people that take charge when the situation calls for it? that’s chloe. she’s very much a leader. cunning, ambitious - she’s fucking ready.

brooke

more of an angel i guess? sweet, a bit insecure, and a little more caring. not very dominant in situations - tends to be more of a follower (as shown w her and chloe’s friendship)

very caring actually. she literally followed jeremy out and said “uhhh he was kind of a dick to women but i know u like eminem” upon his death in the show??? like??? she literally went to check on this boy.

imo she sorta needs to learn to be bolder. to not take shit. shes probably the kind of person who says yes to a lot of things even if they’re conflicting bc she doesn’t want to like... bother someone and make things worse

emotional, imo. fairly feminine.

its hard to keep describing sdfkjhds sorry

jenna

not popular. remember that she wanted people to be interested in her, which is why she gossips a lot

probably tends to overhear half of the gossip. other than that, i can see her easily finding shit out bc she has eyes Everywhere

bold, fairly extroverted, probably really fucking smart tbh. give her love. she deserves it.

thats both at me and everyone else. jenna rolan ily...

very much a big sister figure, post-squipcident. theres this kdrama i was watching where the main protag lives w a couple other girls and one of the oldest one of the bunch is very much a big sister figure that will call other people out on their bullshit because she knows protag isnt the kind of person to do that? thats jenna. and chloe, but mostly jenna.

probably the kind of person who wants to be helpful imo. she likes feeling useful.

#Anonymous #asks

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peepingtoad · 6 years ago

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Tagged by: @masshirohebi and @lady-tsunade-hime2 (thanks for tagging!!!)

Tagging: Anyone who wants to because I think I’m the last one in the universe to do this

ONE ( NAME / ALIAS ): Ri or Ria or ‘Oi, You’ will do.

TWO ( BIRTHDAY ): 31st July 1992

THREE ( ZODIAC SIGN ): Leo Sun / Scorpio Rising / Virgo Moon

FOUR ( HEIGHT ): 5′6″

FIVE ( HOBBIES ): writing, collecting music in obsolete formats (i’m one of those assholes), drawing, screaming, eating, staring into the abyss

SIX ( FAVOURITE COLOUR(S) ): vermilion, midnight blue, bottle green, teal, gold, rust

SEVEN ( FAVOURITE BOOKS ): Watership Down, The Picture Of Dorian Gray, LOTR, Let The Right One In, Misery (and other assorted King tbh) uhhh. Probably more.

EIGHT ( LAST SONG LISTENED TO ): ‘Sometimes I Feel I’ll Float Away’ by Suede

NINE ( LAST FILM WATCHED ): I think it was Matilda :I

TEN ( INSPIRATION FOR MUSE ): It’s a more unusual choice for me in RP because I’ve only ever played villains. Ever :’) so I think part of the inspiration is that I wanted relief from the burden of constant nefarious muse-thoughts, and Jiraiya happens to be a long-time fave who treads a wonderful moral grey that is on the lighter side of grey. He’s a nonconformist and an idealist, which I mesh with, and has so many facets that I feel often go ignored and wanted to explore.

I also have a real Thing for hmmm... decadent, debauched sorts. I’m a casual worshipper of Dionysus IRL so my feelings for him inspired the portrayal a lot, given he rules over theatre and wine and the like--and going back to favourite books, Aristophanes’ The Frogs really ties those two together in the bawdiest play I’ve ever read which is super relevant to his interests even aside from there being frogs in it, as some may have seen from my unsubtle brekekekèx-koàx-koáx-ing.

Oh, and as lame as it is, cosplaying him also helped me to get into his headspace a little :p

ELEVEN ( MEANING BEHIND YOUR URL ): Bad pun on ‘Peeping Tom’, some toads go PEEP when they’re stressed out, it’s so multi-layered, and by ‘multi’ i mean two. Two flimsy layers.

#{ooc}#{dash games}

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medusinestories · 6 years ago

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RULES: tag ten followers you want to know better!

Tagged by: @ellelan and @flintetc thank youuu! <3

TAGGING: @moosefrog @benditlikerackham @dimplesflint @jaune-clair @marginson @youcanchoosefreedom @sjuulsjuul aaand whoever else hasn’t done it yet!

STAR SIGN: Pisces.

HEIGHT: 163 cm / 5′4

PUT YOUR ITUNES/SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 4 SONGS THAT POPPED UP? K’s Choice - Laughing as I pray, Enya - Caribbean Blue, Evanescence - My Last Breath, Tori Amos - Roosterspur Bridge

GRAB THE BOOK NEAREST YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17? “The newer student of astrology often becomes bewildered...” (this is Stephen Arroyo’s excellent Chart Interpretation Handbook, my go-to astrology book, which is why it’s the book closest to me)

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU? Actually yes. One guy composed a piece of electronica inspired by me, and another wrote a poem inspired by me. It was good stuff, actually. Too bad the guys weren’t all that. XD

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR? I have no clue. If I do it, I don’t really pay attention to it.

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH? I tend to have crushes on characters more than on celebrities (who never fail to say something stupid and disappointing in an interview, lbr). That said, you can see the History of My Celeb Crushes if you look at my collection of completely stupid movies/TV shows which include an actor I had a crush on. At the moment it’s Toby Stephens, but that crush is nothing compared to the one I had on Christopher Eccleston a few years back -- I watched GI Joe for him. *shudder*

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE + SOUND YOU LOVE? I hate dogs barking, babies/kids crying, people shouting, sports or news playing on someone else’s loud TV, motorbikes, drilling and sudden crashes/bangs. But the worst of the worst: people being sick (even actors faking it). Guaranteed panic attack trigger.

I love the sound of the rain, the sea and water in general, the wind whistling around my blinds or in the trees, cats purring, beautiful voices, birdsong, footfalls in the snow and the kettle boiling.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? I really love ghost stories, spoopy stuff, horror/fantasy fiction and paranormal reality shows, and have been since I was a kid. My family on my mother’s side has some pretty interesting supernatural stories to tell, usually re: precognition/telepathy/finding lost objects. So I somewhat believe that there is some kind of soul/psychic force in us, but I don’t necessarily believe in ghosts, at least not the way they’re presented in fiction.

HOW ABOUT ALIENS? I believe there’s other life-forms in the universe, but not that any of them are So Super Advanced that they have figured out a way to come and visit us.

DO YOU DRIVE? No, around the age where I should have been learning I had very bad panic attacks which made it absolutely impossible for me to learn. I would still like to learn someday but it’s incredibly expensive and I’m not sure I’d make a good driver anyhow.

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED? No.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? Peter Pan. I’d never read it before and found it bizarre and kind of creepy. Which I think is what Barry was going for.

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? No, it’s one of those smells that make me feel sick.

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? The Conjuring. Which may or may not be why I really want to write a Black Sails haunted horror AU. But lbr I have a lot of stuff to work on already. XD

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD? When I was twelve I smashed a glass windowpane and got a large cut in my elbow and one on my thigh. I got ten stitches and spent about a month with my arm sticking straight out in a splint. Of course, it was my writing arm. Other than that, I burned myself pretty nastily on an oven resistance when I was about 10 years old - I remember the skin turned dark grey. I don’t think I saw a doctor for it, but I still have a scar.

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW? I always have obsessions, it’s what fuels my imagination (and keeps it busy so I don’t obsess about scary things). It’s usually shows, books or collections. I’ve slightly managed to curb my tea obsession (I have a huge stash to drink my way through) but Black Sails? Hoo boy that’s still going strong.

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG? I don’t actively hold grudges, I just get the hell away from the person and build a higher and higher ivory tower to avoid getting hurt by people and their bullshit -- unfortunately it doesn’t make socialising particularly easy. XD

IN A RELATIONSHIP? Nope, see above re: ivory tower.

#meme #about me

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krustywhore · 7 years ago

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BRO CAN I GET SOME HCS OF THE NEWSIES BEING PROTECTIVE OLDER BROTHERS TO SKIP CAUSE ITS MY FAVE CONCEPT RN THANKS I LOVE U SO MUCH

ok i’m gonna do a modern au because we haven't talked about modern!skip in a while!! this is super long rip so sorry about that,,i just got excited whoops

warning,,this does mention some sensitive material, but it is bracketed by all-caps labels. also, the second part of this is all inspired by an actual event that happened to me when i was 13 and a friend of mine was gr*ped in a forever 21 store. these problems are real and i whole-heartedly believe that these characters would fight to fix that.

so obviously skip is a hardcore feminist

and like the right kind not the “women deserve better than men” kind, like the “hell yeah, girls are just as rad as dudes” kind

and obviously, that is a requirement for all of her brothers too

it starts when she, katherine, and sarah all want to go to the women’s march one weekend and davey asks to tag along with sarah

and obviously when jack finds out his boyfriend and his friends were planning on going without him, he immediately wanted in

and thus began the chain reaction

all these guys were so down for this parade that by the time it was actually time for them to go, they were more decked out than the girls were

it was an amazing moment

sarah and kath were so proud tbh

eventually once they got to the march site, kath took jack aside and asked him why they had all come with them

he laughed at first and told her that obviously they all wanted to support their friends and the cause, but he knew she was looking for a more personal answer

so he looked over at skip currently holding her sign high in the air as she sat perched on race’s shoulder and couldn’t hold back a smile

cue ‘i’m doing it for her. i know that kid’s got more potential in her than i at least could ever dream of. i want this country to recognize that.’

and then kath almost cries

but honestly, you could ask any of those boys that question and they’d give you the same answer

they can’t go anywhere without wanting to protect their little sister from ever goddamn injustice in the world

like one time they all tagged along to take les and skip back-to-school shopping for high school, despite how cheesy the kids thought it was

besides, they were both going to be seniors (last year of high school jsyk) and they didn’t really need anyone else’s help anyway

but hey, why waste a giant group of people willing to help you shop when skip and les would literally rather be anywhere else in the world

everything was going fine until all of as sudden it seemed like nothing could go right

(DON’T READ THE NEXT 5 POINTS IF NON-CONSENSUAL SEXUAL TOUCHING IS SOMETHING THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ)

skip was looking around a generic clothing store when a guy, she wasn’t sure if he worked there or if he was another shopper, but he came and stood right behind her, trapping her between the wall and the guy’s body

she froze, looking around her to see if any of her friends were nearby, but she couldn’t find any of them

but then, she felt the guy’s hand grab her shorts from behind and she ran

she quickly found davey and les looking through a rack of pants and only then did she look back

the man was gone

(SCENE OVER)

davey immediately called jack over and the two, plus les awkwardly watching his best friend from behind his brother, not knowing what to do, tried their best to console her

skip was in tears and spot sat down in the middle of the floor, pulling the girl onto his lap

he calmly asked her if she could tell him what happened and she looked up towards the door one more time

she explained what happened and all of their faces went pale

spot immediately lifted skip off his lap, seating her on a display table nearby as he stormed the front of the store

les was right at his heels until davey held him back, telling him his friend needed his help more than spot did and he immediately went back to give her a hug

they’re just,,the sweetest boys

she loves them so much

also,,you better believe that when jack tells his friends what happened later that night, they all plan to go back to that store after dropping skip off at home so they can check all the security footage and get that asshole arrested

thank u for that ask, i am literally living for these kiddos being protective

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twelvegrimmyplace · 7 years ago

Photo

MusiCares Review

A few people asked if I would report back on my musicares experience, and since I’m never one to turn down an opportunity to hear myself talk I am happy to oblige. Putting my ramblings thoughts behind the cut but in short: i had a great evening and I’m very happy I ignored my credit card statement and got that ticket.

I jotted some quick notes throughout the show and the first one reads “they’re auctioning a signed Rumours thing for $170k lmao”. WILD WEALTH in that building last night.

General thoughts:

- I was very happy that the event kept a heavy focus on the foundation itself. In between each tribute performance they would play video roll of how the foundation helps people in need within the music industry, particularly access to free mental health and addiction support programs, medical aid for those suffering from cancer and other illnesses, and even natural disaster relief for musicians. At one point, the chair of the foundation spoke on stage about how the foundation helped him many years ago when he was struggling to get sober, and how he is now the Board Chair of an organization that literally saved his life. That was one of my favorite moments of the night. It was really impactful to see how the money I spent on the ticket would be used to help others.

- Stevie Nicks is magical. I know I’m stating the obvious but I really cannot describe the effect her speech and presence in that room had on me. It’s weird bc I didn’t grow up loving Fleetwood Mac like many fans have. I actually loved a lot of their songs growing up but I had no idea who did them. I just knew them as songs on the radio or in movies/TV that I liked. It wasn’t until college when I downloaded a random mixtape and heard Sara for the first time (which to this day is probably my fave FM song) that I really took time to dive into their albums. So I’ve never read much about their history or anything other than the basics. She was never an adolescent hero for me. But she is now. She’s funny and warm and exactly the type of person I love in this world, which is someone who unequivocally gives a shit. I fell in love last night tbh.

- Because the 1% was all up in there, it was kind of funny to see when the camera would pan to the crowd in the $3000 ticket seats for reaction shots during a performance and sometimes these rich assholes looked so bored. Like I’ll switch seats if you wanna take a lil snooze up in the top mezzanine by me, Charles.

- There really was some guy shouting “WHERES HARRY” or “WHAT ABOUT HARRY” multiple times in between sets. It was very lol and relatable.

- Speaking of Harry, when he came out on stage to introduce them and the announcer fucked up his intro it was so funny. Harry immediately charmed the room. The people sitting next to me were laughing during his mini speech. I was surprised in general how excited a room filled with a non-Harry audience seemed really excited for him more than a lot of the other artists there. He had a buzz going in the room. I do wish he had done a solo performance just to hear his voice on its own, but it was so special to see him perform with them, especially bc he was the only one who did. And Mick was so cute at the end of the The Chain like pointing at Harry from behind his drum set.

- Was sad John Legend wasn’t there. He was listed originally as a performer but I guess something came up and he had to drop out.

Favorite Performances (besides Fleetwood Mac bc DUH their set was the best part):

- Alison Krauss performing Songbird. That’s one of my fave FM songs and her rendition was beautiful.

- Little Big Town performing Dreams. They were a good choice for that song, sounded great.

- HAIM performing Gypsy. Although I really like them I’ve always found their live performances a little weak vocally so I wondered how it would go. They crushed it. Another perfect song choice for the performer. You could tell they were loving it up there it was infectious.

- Lorde performing Silver Springs is like yes of course she chose that song. The most Lorde Fleetwood Mac song ever. As much as I love her these days, her live vocals are still iffy to me. She sounded good during the quieter first half of the song but unfortunately the audio mix was totally off during the second half (I could barely hear her over the band and background singers in the chorus/bridge). She had great energy on stage and put her all into it even with that struggle and ended it well. Loved that I got to see her take on that song.

- As for Fleetwood Mac’s set, Tusk isn’t a song I listen to very often but omg it was so good live. They did The Chain with Harry, then Little Lies, Tusk, Gold Dust Woman (was mesmerized by Stevie during this one) and Go Your Own Way. GYOW isn’t my fave but it was very fun live. I had so much fun dancing along and singing my heart out to The Chain. God I love live fucking music and I love Fleetwood fucking Mac.

Could have done without:

- Miley’s cover of Landslide started out really nice actually. Her lower register is perfect for that song but then she kind of lost control of the whole thing by over singing and losing the warmth that makes that song so perfect. For such an iconic song I wish they had chosen someone else who could have done better by it.

- Portugal Whos Mans Is This should have been kicked out of the damn building THEY SUUUUUUUCKED. Never let them near a fleetwood mac song again it was offensive to my ears.

- Jared Leto is annoying. Honestly the take he did of Never Going Back Again with a full choir was a good idea for an arrangement of that song but he did too much and was just kind of like yelling over the choir. It wasn’t terrible but kind of weird. He also gave an unnecessary speech. No one asked you Jared.

The others were all good. Juanes was good. Even ppl I wouldn’t usually care about like One Republic or Nicole Kidman’s husband all had a lot of fun on stage and brought good vibes to their covers. A great evening and I wish I could have had all of you there with me!

ps - have fun playing ‘spot the Liz’ in this video lol. I’m out there somewhere!

#musicares #long post

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sharedheadspace · 7 years ago

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tagging @lionhxrts @firebirdinflight @numberless-doors (not everyone has to do every question, but we figure you all could maybe use a distraction)

1. Nicknames:

j- hazy, stringbean/silt bean, gaylord

m- firefly

e- L, ellie

db- dragon breath

c- (none come to mind)

k- asshole

a- jeff

2. Gender:

j- agender

m- cis woman

e- nonbinary trans man

db- ‘i dont give a shit’

c- vaguely demigirl

k- genderqueer

a- jeff

3. Star sign:

j- cancer

m- scorpio

e- taurus

db- aries

c- aquarius

k- unknown

a- gemini

4. Height:

j- 6′5

m- 6′4

e- 4′11

db- 5′3

c- 6′7

k- 4′10

a- 5′9

5. Time: 10:24 am

6. Birthday:

j- june 29

m- october 20

e- april 29

db- april 18

c- unknown

k- unknown

a- unknown

7. Favorite bands: the only one that stands out is that kite likes ac/dc

8. Favorite solo artists: x

9. Song stuck in my head: within the last 24 hours we have had mr mistoffelees from cats, all star, and angel with a shotgun by the cab stuck in our head. kite is to blame for all of them

10. Last movie I watched: the iron giant

11. Last show I watched: leverage

12. When did I create my blog: sometime mid 2016

13. What do I post/reblog: system memes, sappy posts for significant others, callout memes for significant others, fanart of loved ones, aesthetic pictures that mean things to us

14. Last thing I googled: 'current temperature -hometown- va’

15. Do I have any other blogs: @autisticmagpie is the hosts blog, theres also 2 nsfw blogs, and a trauma blog where relatable coping/healing posts get reblogged since keeping them here was bad for jaspers health

16. Do I get asks: pretty much never

17. Why I chose my url: we share a headspace :P

18. Halloween costume: nobody bothered

19. Fave vine: nobody really has any favorites

20. Average hours of sleep: it varies person to person, and week to week. people will sleep for a month at a time, then be up every day for several weeks for as long as the body is conscious

21. Lucky number: 4

22. Instruments: dont think anyone knows how to actually play anything

23. What am I wearing: sweaters and leggings seem a popular outfit currently. and then theres kite, who varies between ‘fitted suit with slightly unbuttoned dress shirt’ and ‘the fucking goblin king, with or without a swooshy cape he stole from vincent valentine’

24. Dream job: x

25. Dream trip: maur wants to visit skyrim, but for the most part everyone just wants to hang out with the partner system irl again

26. Favorite food:

27. Nationality:

j- rivaini

m- fereldan

e- ??? space

db- ‘technically im cyrodiilic. nibenese, specifically. but race-wise im a breton an just in general im a dragon, so. iunno what to put’

c- also space

k- rivaini dalish

a- vesuvian

28. Favorite song right now: x

29. Last book read: x

30. Fictional Universe You’d want to join (top three): everyone has at least a degree of desire to return to their home worlds tbh

#not all of these have answers but whatever we're sleeby

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izzy-b-hands · 5 years ago

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Fictober 2019, Oct. 21st, “Change Is Annoyingly Difficult.”

Fanfiction

Fandom: Mr. Robot

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Warnings: None, though there’s a bit of swearing. I mean, I usually have that in my fic anyway tbh, but it’s the biggest thing in here for the most part. Mentions of a joint and some smoking, but just briefly.

633 words

One of my fave headcanons that I tbh don’t care if actual canon will ever fully support is that Darlene buys Elliot just...the dorkiest shit for his apartment. Ugly, dorky decorations that look like they were birthed from a horror in a thrift shop basement in the Void. But she gives them out of love and caring and wanting to make him laugh with how silly they are, and sometimes it even works.

This is one of those moments.

It was a small sign. Pink, with a smiling unicorn head in one corner that had far too many teeth in its mouth, and purple letters clued onto it.

“That is...really fucking ugly,” Elliot sighed as Darlene hung it in the center of one wall in his living room.

“I know, but the message it imparts is an important one to remember. And it made me think of you,” Darlene replied as she half bounced, half walked happily back over to join him on the couch.

The phrase, in the purple and glittery wooden letters read: Change Is Annoyingly Difficult.

“So...did it make you think of me because I’m annoying, difficult, or...god, please tell me it wasn’t the goddamn unicorn...” he laughed.

“Yes to all, and because I think it serves as a good reminder, for you especially,” she replied, leaning against him. “Hell, think most of us need that reminder sometimes. Change sucks, but it happens no matter what.”

He frowned. “I do just fine with change.”

Darlene raised her brows, but said nothing.

“Most people don’t like change,” he protested quietly.

“True, but most people aren’t my brother, so you get all my wisdom on this stuff all to yourself.”��

“And the ugly sign.”

“And the ugly sign,” Darlene nodded sagely. “I worry about you, you asshole. So I thought, maybe when things get real bad, you’ll see that ugly piece of shit, think of me, and call me to talk to instead of just shutting down and trying to deal on your own.”

“I mean...it is eye-catching,” he smiled. A small smile, but as much as he could muster for her.

She sat up, and rolled her eyes and a joint. “Maybe I’ll find more like it. Just brighten this place up with the ugliest shit known to man.”

He lost some time after that as they shared the joint. Was it Mr. Robot chiming in with his opinion on the new decor? If it wasn’t, he was sure he’d pop up soon to offer it anyway.

When he came back, Darlene was gone, but the sign remained.

“Take that down,” Mr. Robot scoffed. “Burns my eyes to look at it.”

“I think I’ll leave it,” Elliot replied. “Nice that she thought of me, even if it is-”

“So fucking ugly. The ugliest. What the fuck is up with that unicorn?” Mr. Robot went up to the sign to inspect, then stepped back with a grimace. “It is a very ‘Darlene’ sort of gift, to be sure.”

“You just don’t like it cause she’s not entirely wrong. No one does well with change every time though.”

“No, I don’t like it because it’s fucking terrible to look at,” Mr. Robot spat.

“Be nice. It’s...kitsch.”

“Just...god, shut up,” Mr. Robot sighed.

“You first.”

For a moment, it was blissfully silent, as he sat and ignored Mr. Robot’s fuming.

“A lot of change is coming, you know. You’ve got to be ready for it, on your toes-”

“I will be,” Elliot interrupted. Darlene’s gift had given him a surge of bravery and energy to push back against him. He was tired, and just wanted to nap. “Now though? I’m gonna nap, and you’re gonna let me.”

He stretched out on the couch, and turned to face the back of it.

“Nap? You think you have time for this? Just sleeping to avoid shit, like a child, meanwhile you won’t be ready for the-”

“Change,” Elliot interrupted again with a yawn. “I heard you the first time. The sign’ll help remind me.”

“Shut the fuck up, about that fucking sign!”

He could feel just how livid Mr. Robot was. But it didn’t matter, not right at this moment, and it was nice to have that bit of control.

One nice, small, positive change.

#text post #LeeH writes #fictober19 #Mr Robot fic

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lov3bone · 7 years ago

Note

1-150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Francesca

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Pretty shy generally

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My coworker tomorrow, he just got back from hip surgery and I’ve been worried lmao

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I can be, but I know I can flip like a switch on some people.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Probably not.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People who are kind of jerks, or have a kind of mean personality. I also love people who are witty, and make it easy to keep a conversation going tbh.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I don’t know things are kinda rough rn lmao

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

This guy named Jeremy

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Kinda

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Jeremy

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

I was kinda drunk, but I was talking about how I’m very confused

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Help - Blackbear, Guillotine - Jon Bellion, The Good In Me - Jon Bellion, Tear In My Heart - twenty one pilots, I Needed You - Blackbear (I’ve been fixated on blackbear lately)

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yeah, but only from certain people

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yeah lmAO

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I got to march in the gay pride parade

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yeah I would

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

There has to be. We definitely are not the only ones out here man omg

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nope

19. Do you like bubble baths?

ehhhh nah

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Wouldn’t know, never met them. It’s been 16 years. Not gonna do it now.

21. What are you bad habits?

Drinking, pushing people away before they get a chance to get close, getting anxious and clinging to people while also not letting them help me lmfao

22. Where would you like to travel?

I wanna go to Sicily one day to see part of my family!

23. Do you have trust issues?

Y e s. sorry

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Wandering around by myself after work for a couple hours

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Jawline. Like. My neck. The little part between your chin and neck. I hate it.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Kind of sit there and boot for a second, then check my phone

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I think I’m fine with my skin lmao

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My cousin, the age difference prevents me from really relating though. But she’s one of the only people that I feel safe around rn.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Yep.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Nope

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

n o

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

None because I’m uncomfortable with sex LOL

33. Spell your name with your chin.

e,l,l,kioigt

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I don’t participate in sports anymore. But I used to be on a competitive crew team.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

I would rather live without tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yes, many times

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

I usually break that by doing something stupid or blurting out something stupid because awkward silences are uncomfortable

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Pretty sure I’ve answered this before, but my answer is definitely changed since then. My dream person would be someone who’s there for me. Not leave me on read, reassure me when I start getting anxious, not see only my mental illness. Go on adventures with me, hold my hand a lot and be down for cuddling whenever.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Target, hot topic (y EAH FUCKING FIGHT ME I LIKE THE T SHIRTS), zumiez, and tj maxx

40. What do you want to do after high school?

I’ve already been through it. But, I still don’t know. I’m trying to find my way the best I can.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Fuck no.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

If I’m being extremely quiet in person that’s pretty normal it’s more my facial expression while I’m being quiet that gives anything away. If it’s texting and I’m not seeking you out or not answering you should probably be concerned.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Sometimes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space, the ocean is cool too but fuck the bottom hell no

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Either anxiety about my mom or I have to go to my job

46. What are you paranoid about?

Trusting others, being alone, certain people in my life, me

47. Have you ever been high?

Yes

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Yes

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

I really don’t fucking care at this point, but I guess. I did a big bad thing earlier today.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Red

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My personality

53. Favourite makeup brand?

None lmao

54. Favourite store?

This pet store that’s kinda close to my house

55. Favourite blog?

@humiliated B)

56. Favourite colour?

My hair color, multiple types of greens and blues are my faves. I don’t really have a favorite

57. Favourite food?

cherry poptarts

58. Last thing you ate?

cherry poptarts

59. First thing you ate this morning?

nothing

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I don’t remember what I wrote last time but I don’t think it was anything

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Almost was expelled from my mom being an asshole and telling the school that I was a ‘ticking time bomb,’ they took it very seriously

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope

63. Ever been in love?

Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

It was with a boy and it was gross

65. Are you hungry right now?

no, I actually kinda feel sick

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

This is a bad question. I love all of my friends equally.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Azalea, Daria, Gianna

71. Craving something? What?

Affection, feeling wanted

72. What colour are your towels?

White.. With patches of green dye lmao

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

six

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

no, unless my dinosaur shaped pillow counts?

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Around 15 or more idk

75. Favourite animal?

Mantis shrimp. I get really excited about those fuckers for some reason.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black, and covered in pokemon

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Green tea

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Light blue

80. What colour pants?

Blue

81. Favourite tv show?

BoJack Horseman

82. Favourite movie?

Ig zootopia

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janis Ian

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

The turtle

87. First person you talked to today?

Francesca

88. Last person you talked to today?

Daria

89. Name a person you hate?

Jeremy

90. Name a person you love?

Nobody

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Yes

92. In a fight with someone?

Yes

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

3 pairs

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

95. Last movie you watched?

The Babadook

96. Favourite actress?

None

97. Favourite actor?

None

98. Do you tan a lot?

99. Have any pets?

Yeah I have a lot of pets lmao

100. How are you feeling?

Really bad now tbh

101. Do you type fast?

Depends on how I’m feeling

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes. Many things.

103. Can you spell well?

I do if I’m not intoxicated or anxious

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yeah

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Nope

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

I guess

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes

108. What should you be doing?

Making amends

109. Is something irritating you right now?

YEP

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Mhm

111. Do you have trust issues?

Y e s. This was answered earlier on wtf

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

I don’t really cry in front of people. I can’t remember. Probably Marielle. That was almost a year ago.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Samsam

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not anymore

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah, listening to blackbear

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Not really tbh

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yes I love chinese food

119. Favourite book?

Perks of being a wallflower

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

A little bit

121. Are you mean?

As of lately, yeah

122. Is cheating ever okay?

It’s never okay to do that.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Hell nO LMAO

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

125. Do you believe in true love?

I’m not sure

126. Are you currently bored?

127. What makes you happy?

Not much.

128. Would you change your name?

Yeah, I’m currently trying to

129. What your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius

130. Do you like subway?

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Give it a go, whatever.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Wtf more double questions. But Jeremy.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

‘I’ve been going to sleep with my head fucking pounding, ow’

It’s fucking relatable okay

134. Can you count to one million?

Probably

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“Yeah I’m not drunk I swear.”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5′2

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Fuck no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee

146. Was today a good day?

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

Well, you come by it honestly, the ugliness inside you. You were born broken, that’s your birthright. There’s no cure for that. -BoJacks mother Beatrice

Kinda just hits home lmao

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

I’ve answered this like 4 times. Yes.

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

A skin of seaweed had washed up on the rocks and jumped with sea lice.

#anon #this kept me occupied for a long ass time #and some of these i thought abt and some i kinda pushed #sorry i got a little edgy on some #idk #i havent been feeling too good lately #thanks for asking i guess #Anonymous #long post #ask oliver

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telrtot · 7 years ago

Note

All bet

well fuck, you got me

1: name? taylor irl and lacey here cause its cuter2: gender? on the Girly side3: birthday? feburary 5th 20014: age? 165: zodiac sign? aquarius6: sexuality? bisexual with a Strong leaning towards girls7: hobbies? playing d&d and thinking too much about characters i make. i also play a lot of video games and cosplay sometimes8: aesthetic? the night sky, a swirl of purples and blues and shades of grey, bare shoulders, sunsets9: dream home? somewhere in the city, close enough to walk were i need to. rainy weather is prevalent and in a short while i can find myself in the woods.10: OTP? umm not any Main Ones right now but AraSol will always have a special place in my heart11: favorite band/music genre? indie folk and folk rock. ringlefinch is my favorite band but nobody has heard of em. gotye and hozier are also up there in my favorites.12: favorite songs? hell by ringlefinch ; beneath the brine by the family crest ; beekeeper by keaton henson ; heart's a mess by gotye ; third eye by florence and the machine (perfer the demo version tbh)13: do you have a favorite book? if so, what book? mmm, haven't read enough in the last year or so to really make a choice. i used to Love the hunger games books when i was 10 and read Catching Fire 4 times through...if that counts. gosh i need to read more.14: favorite food? chEese. especially in Queso and Fried forms15: favorite TV show? fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood16: favorite character? aradia megido will always be a love of mine. mercy from ow is also a fave of mine.17: favorite animal(s)? foxes, 'cause they remind me of me, and all avians ever, 'cause they are friends.18: favorite color? plum purple and mauve19: favorite beverage? diet dr pepper with cherry20: favorite holiday? new years because every year i watch (bad) anime over at one of my best friends house 21: relationship status? who knows tbh22: last text you've sent? "gotta say, im intrigued to see what you could come up with"23: last text you've received? "as am i"24: last person you told you loved? my mother when she came in to say good night25: last time you felt jealous, and why? probably like an hour ago cause i was looking at selfies of people with nice skin26: are you insecure about anything? my skin, my nose, and my weirdly shapen hips27: where do you want to be right now? 27: where do you want to be right now? playing d&d but alas....28: what are some habits of yours? i bite my nails hardcore, talk really fast when i get excited or nervous, forget to shut cabinets, chew straws, and bite hard candies because i have no self-control29: three turn ons? umm, hm. either sitting in someones lap or having someone sit in mine, nEcK BiTiNG, and when someone wearing plaid or a button up shirt rolls up their sleeves.....30: three turn offs? generally immaturity. if someone - even in a jokin manner - calls me a bitch (especially if its a guy sayin it) not cool not funny please stop talking to me. whEn people can't hold a conversation to save their life (like i might be bad at it but at least i am Tryin, ya feel?)31: do you have kik, skype, or any other social media? i do32: pet peeves? wHen people with a runny nose sniff really loudly and make gross sounds. also when people use their hands or just don't cover their mouths when they sneeze or cough33: what're you wearing? my pjs. why? what r u wearing bbby?34: career goals? medical examiner in the forensic field or someone that travels a lot35: are you a student? yep, in high school36: what country do you live in? america37: do you have any pets? a labradoodle named patrick and a schnauzer named max38: tattoos you have/want? oh boy, that would be its own post. i honestly want quite a few, all in black and white and generally for the Aesthetic39: piercings you have/want? i have regularly lobe piercings and a double helix in my left ear40: morning or night? night41: guilty pleasure band? ninja sex party42: guilty pleasure song? samurai abstinence part by ninja sex party...43: top 5 favorite memes? tag yourself memes ; Gun ; the firefly 'you would not believe you (blank)' one ; maybe the real friends.... ; and those strange animal pictures with Russian captions44: one band you don't get the hype for? i don't know how much hype she has now but i don't really enjoy halsey all that much45: one band you wish more people knew about? rinGLEFINCH46: do you practice any religion? not currently47: do you believe in any form of a God? i believe that there is a God, possibly many, but i cannot say that i believe any doctrine of god is correct48: what do you think happens after we die? i like the idea of reincarnation49: have you ever done alcohol or drugs? i haven't done anything but drugs i have been given by a Doctor and i drank alcohol before....with my parents permission50: what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you? not actually dying when i was born 51: what's the best thing that's ever happened to you? not dying when i was born?52: have you ever had a near death experience? my heart stopped beating when i was a baby, so yeah53: is there someone you can tell anything to? myself....?54: what's the most amount of notes you've ever gotten on a post, and what was the post? it was a fallout meme i made and it got like 200 notes i think (maybe the real shaun was the friends we made along the way)55: are you right or left handed? right handed56: Would you be in a relationship (platonic or otherwise) with the last person you texted? If it's a family member, the last person you aren't related to. we are friends, so yeah57: who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? the gaggle of gurl and ungendered pals of have are p good listeners58: would you want to change anything about yourself? make me less of an asshole and actually use my good brain to do work59: what's the first thing you notice when meeting someone? how they react to different brands of humor60: have you ever been hurt by someone you trusted? Who? ex-best friend of mine, who outted me to my family when i was like 1061: have you ever hurt yourself? yeppers. middle school was a rough time for me62: do you believe in an afterlife? maybe63: do you believe in ghosts? sure do64: what should you be doing right now? finishing my garbage dotters spell list like I said i would65: are you pissed at anyone right now? not really66: do you believe everyone has a soulmate, platonic or otherwise? i do, or i at least think the idea is nice67: when is the last time you were scared to tell the truth? i ate my brothers skittles on accident and oh boy was that rough, also pawned it off on my dad68: when is the last time you screwed up something important? everyday my guy69: is there anyone you were close with and are not anymore? there are two that come to mind. one is the ex friend i mentioned before and the other is my actual ex.70: what's the last promise you made? i think i was not play a suicide game that is popular in texas right now? my mom made me promise not to do it cause she's paranoid and honestly i hadn't even heard about it until she brought it up. 71: what's your outlook on life? we are all on a rock floating through space at thousands of miles per hour72: have you ever loved someone who didn't return your feelings? oh boy howdy yes. 73: if you could change your eye color, what would it be? a shade of hazel-green so i look even more ginger74: Are you dating the last person you talked to? nope, i don't believe me and @neoxnocturne are dating. unless we are and he never sent the email confirmation for it, if that's the case then i need the tax report on my desk by monday (short version: just a pal)75: does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? yeah, me and my gay squad do it every time we are together tbh76: do you think someone has feelings for you? yep77: has anyone ever told you they never wanted to lose you? a few come to mind78: do you replay things that have happened in your head? all the time79: have you ever felt replaced? every day if i am being honest80: last person you cried in front of? my mother, about my Ex81: if your ex asked to date you again, would you? um. maybe. i honesty don't know. 82: if you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral? no mercy by the living tombstoNe83: would you ever be in a long distance relationship? have been in one before, so maybe.84: what can make you upset easily? when people refuse to listen 85: do you have a good relationship with your father? depends on the day86: do you have a good relationship with your mother? i like to think so, she's probably who i am closest to87: do you have a good relationship with your siblings? nope88: have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? yeah89: are your parents divorced? no, but i think if they had less kids they would be90: what do/did people say about you in school? im the jokester that goes hard in arguments91: what do/did you say about people in school? depends on the person?92: is any mental or physical illness hindering your life? adhd since i was little, general anxiety, depression, and the potential to further develope bipolarism 93: have you ever had to end a friendship or relationship? why? yeah cause shit happened94: are there things you wanted in your childhood but didn't get? a horse and to learn to ride horses95: have you ever kept a journal? i tried when i was little but also bought a new journal and started a new one so they never got far96: do you believe that birthmarks are scars from past lives? sure, i can get behind that97: if so, do you believe there is a story behind your birthmarks? dont have any98: do you look after yourself? not in the slightest99: do you put yourself or others first? i am a selfish kid who happens to care about select people. i tend to put others first more than i think i should, which is already not a lot.100: Ask your own question! No thanks.

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