#my fave is relevant for the first time in over a decade so. here's a decade worth of thoughts i guess

[foibles-fables]

What's that? Random asks? Don't mind if I do!

How did you hear about Horizon that made you want to play it, and how was that first time?

Howdy hello and HECK YES! I love this question.

So--summer 2020. I'd just come back from a decade-long hiatus from fandom in general, and was starting to learn the new ropes and spaces (this former livejournal clown breaking into discord and twitter, etc.). One night, I was scrolling through my twitter timeline and happened to stumble upon the freshly-posted E3 announcement trailer for HFW. And even though I hadn't really played a narrative video game since the PS2 era, I decided to watch it. And, huh! I remember saying, "Badass freckly redheaded archer...seems relevant to my interests." The graphics were absolutely gorgeous and what little hints of the story were present in that trailer (especially for someone who knew nothing of the narrative background presented so far) were compelling.

So I looked up some info and found out that it was a sequel to a 2017 game. Cool. Filed that away for later, deciding to get a PS5 when they released later that year.

Jump-cut to late December. I managed to get my hands on a PS5, and it was delivered a couple days before Christmas. Which was awesome, because life was not going super well and I needed a heavy-duty distraction. At this point I had kind of pushed Horizon to the backburner and was instead excited to play AC Valhalla as my first game! But when I booted up, I learned that my mother had bought me the disc version as a Christmas gift. I was left with a couple of days to try other stuff out before I could dive in to ACV.

So, I shrugged and downloaded HZD instead. And the rest is kind of history.

Went into it kind of ambivalent and really hoping I would like it. I had tried to play BotW and was completely overwhelmed by the open-world aspects, and not in a pleasant way, and I hoped that wouldn't be the case here. I'd also never really been into a ton of action games before, as most of my old faves were turn-based. The gameplay itself wouldn't be the clincher for me--that would be the story.

WELL, good news is, I was hooked from the prologue. I would equate playing HZD to not just watching a narrative masterwork unfold, but being in the driver's seat of one. Each discovery Aloy and I made was enthralling and exhilarating, and I legitimately could not stop playing. Could not stop exploring. Every side quest, every collectible, every corner of the map (besides the hunting grounds after earning my Suns at the Nora one, SORRY TALANAH). The entirety of "Deep Secrets of the Earth" had me staring into the darkness of my gaming room in a mix of existential horror and pure amazement. I wept at the ending. The HZD cast left an indelible mark on my heart, and it really reminded me of just how powerful game stories can be. Still trapped in hyperfixation hell (affectionate) over it.

The fun didn't stop there, though. By the time I finished the game (I took my time!), it was early February 2021. I feel very lucky to have sauntered in when I did, because it really seems like it was the perfect time to join the fandom. Folks were coming out of hibernation from both 2017 and the 2020 PC release, hyped with excitement and theories for HFW. Within those first months I met some of the most fabulous and now-lifelong friends (and more <3) I've ever had.

Bottom line: after playing HZD, Horizon and the fandom pulled me through a very very very difficult time in my life. I'm eternally grateful to this series and the meaning I derive from it. Especially from the first game--its vibrant narrative, and its absolutely fantastic characters. Lightning in a bottle, man.

And no, I still haven't finished AC Valhalla. lmao.

[cblgblog]

So if Anna was a nurse, and Jerry a surgeon, both were Fireflies from the start (With Jerry having enough pull it's said he's the one who ran the St. Mary's branch) and Anna wasn't always in Boston what are the odds that Anna Williams and Jerry Anderson knew each other?

I mean…it’s Last of Us, right? As a franchise, even since the first game, they’ve been obsessed with cause and effect, action consequence. You killed this guy who’s part of David’s group, then fate brings you together. Abby running into Joel and Tommy by accident and getting saved by the man who ruined her life. They like to do their goes around, comes around stuff, right?

So I mean, why not? We don’t know how long Jerry was with the Fireflies so we can’t rule it out, and again it would be a very TLOU-esque thing to do.

Which brings me the image of Marlene and Jerry’s argument in 2 about the vaccine—one of my fave scenes btw so I end up going back there a fair bit anyway.

“There’s no way to remove the specimen without destroying the host.”

“The host. She’s a child, not some petri dish.”

“You think I don’t…I’m aware of the situation.

And it goes on from there but in this case, there’d be divergence and Marlene’s, “You have no fucking idea what the situation is.”

Her annoyance at terms like ‘host,’ the clinical way Jerry’s speaking about this even though he’s only doing it to control the horror of what he’s suggesting, speaking in clinical terms and abstracts so that he can even talk about what he’s advocating for. Except it’s more than annoyance here and Marlene’s visibly frayed at the edges and it throws Jerry off, has him questioning.

“Well, then you need to make me aware. You told me to figure this out. I can’t do that if I don’t have all the relevant information.”

Relevant information. Is it relevant information? Not really, honestly, but it’s also the only thing that matters, and Marlene’s never told anyone this, and she doesn’t want to now, because if she does then she no longer gets to hide behind clinicals and abstracts either. But if there’s even a chance that it could change the outcome… “She’s different, Jerry. She’s important.”

“Marlene…” To his ears that is the most obvious, redundant, why in God’s name would you even waste breath stating it thing that’s ever been said.

But Marlene’s not talking about her blood or her brain. “She’s Anna’s.”

“Anna who?”

Marlene just Looks at him.

Jerry goes pale. For the tenth time that day his mind basically explodes. “Your Anna.”

Because Marlene and Anna predated everything. Outbreak, Fireflies, everything, Marlene and Anna were forever. Until they weren’t. And it’s been over a decade, but he still remembers Anna’s face enough that it’s now the only thing he’s seeing in Ellie’s, of course they’re related, how could he not have seen it immediately?

“Yes, my Anna. The one who died protecting her child because I wasn’t there to do that. The one who spent her lasts breaths making me swear to protect her child, keep her alive. And then begging me to kill her, which I did.”

“Marlene—”

“I already killed Anna by not being there. Then I shot her in the head because she begged for it, and there was nothing else I could do. Now you’re asking me to kill her child. Before you do that again, you need to look me in the eye and tell me that you’re sure, absolutely sure, that there’s no other way.”

[clay-cuttlefish]

Okay I've had a bit to recover from the 52 Emotions. Moving through Final Crisis, 70 appearances left to go til Flashpoint.

Justice League of America 2006 #1

Not actually an appearance, but someone impersonates Vic in a flirty note to Vixen and it's very funny to me that a) he's a known pain in the ass among Leaguers and b) she's down for it.

Countdown #40-38

Renee's here! It's not great, she's only here for a couple pages, but she and Kate are kicking ass together, she's funny, she looks good, and Kate calls her Question for the first time.

Crime Bible: Five Lessons of Blood #1

After all this time, Renee gets a solo of her own, and it's SO good.

She's so cool! Relentless, inquisitive, always in motion... it's not that she wasn't great in 52, she was, but she really flourishes when she's in her own space.

#2

😳

I have thoughts about how much Renee's grown but um. Women.

#3

Renee finally gets to reflect on her time at the GCPD, which is interesting. She still has some respect for Maggie and Gordon, but Bullock is dead to her.

Divorce! This is a really good divorce moment. Back in 52, she pushed Kate away for the exact same reasons - old habits die hard.

#4

Tot continues to be my fave despite not doing much. He's perpetually hanging out and begrudgingly helping.

"We're not friends." Two pages later handing her a hat he made in case she gets cold.

Myra...

The newscast says Myra was "elected for a third consecutive term last fall", which I think means she's been mayor for nine years unless some American mayoral terms last different lengths? I'd have guessed it had been longer, but it's not an unreasonably short timeline.

I'm so glad Renee goes back to Hub City. The Question isn't a mantle that carries a lot of recognition, but it does have a history beyond what it meant to Vic and Tot, and I'm glad there's this closure.

Izzy's more Gordon-y than the last time we saw him, but hey it's been almost a decade and it's good for the parallels.

#5

It's important to me that she's funny. She's learned how to go with the flow and take things in stride, and that means saying dumb shit even when she's actively in danger.

This fight is drawn so well. The dialogue wouldn't land nearly as well if it wasn't for the pacing.

This all works so well to flesh out who Renee was, who she is now, and where she might be going.

The Montoya Journal

Not a comic, but some supplementary pieces, because the secret code in the scriptures was too subtle and the way to get people to notice it was to send out secret journals with props. Pictures of the contents are included with commentary in the back of the trade.

Here's a link to some archived posts about the contents, if you don't have a copy, including a link to the song.

The fake band has a MySpace page and an actual song you can listen to. There are designs for in-universe newspapers and messaging apps. The physical journals came with bullet casings. The commitment here is ridiculous.

Only sixteen journals were ever made and I want one so badly.

Final Crisis #1

More events. I'm getting sick of events.

Something something Darkseid. I don't know what's going on with most of these characters and I don't really care.

#3

Getting arrested by... I think these guys are like Checkmate?

Final Crisis: Revelations #1

This is the part of Final Crisis that's relevant to Renee.

Crispus has been having the worst time since we last saw him.

#2

What if your dead best friend turned into the personification of God's wrath and tried to murder you about it after you'd spent years dealing with your Catholic guilt over being a lesbian. Would that be fucked up or what.

#3

The DC universe has some truly wild theological problems.

Is this blasphemous? Should I like. Put some kind of content warning on this?

I don't know if this is that good but it's very dramatic.

#4

Renee kicks Cain in the face.

The Radiant talks theology and the problem of free will and prophecy.

It's a Lot.

#5

Renee hits the combined might of Darkseid and Vandal Savage with a "I know you are but what am I?" and it works so well it allows her to restore Crispus' faith in God. I love comics.

Final Crisis #3-7

I've decided I don't actually care enough to do these individually. Renee gets recruited by Checkmate because she's so good at both cop stuff and superhero stuff that she should lead the charge into another universe. Cool? Good for her?

Captain Marvel tells her not to swear and she says no.

Wow that sure was a Crisis. Anyways.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

NO WAIT I HAD A GREAT IDEA OH MY GOD even though i STILL have not started writing it

i should name it "Right Now You're On The Threshold Of An Amazing Misadventure" haha do u get it i'm so funny

(and anyway that works better because honestly shuichi isn't the sole main character, i keep accidentally making kaito and maki equally as relevant as him so it's kind of just all three of them)

also i'm just going to yap now about my thoughts on the actual game, because i feel like it and don't really have anywhere else to put it since i don't really do fandoms anymore, so here are my violently deranged ramblings under the cut

v3 is my favourite. by far. like, it's not even close. the first two games made me go "aw that was fun, i liked it :)" while v3 made me go "I'M GOING TO THROW UP AND EXPLODE" and then proceeded to lodge itself in my brain for months on end. listen, as a motion sickness haver, i'm used to feeling sick from video games, but this was the first time i felt sick WITHOUT motion sickness being involved. whatever they put into that ending absolutely caved in my skull. it went bonkers off the wall and i respect that.

hell, we still don't even know what was true and what wasn't. i've played through more than once and in hindsight, tsumugi does provably and undeniably lie about some things... in the prologue the kids have their normal names and (mostly) similar personalities, they have memories of being kidnapped and brought here against their will, they still have talents and skills that require muscle memory (kaede outright said she has a "skill she devotes herself to")... all of this BEFORE the first brainwashing? idk, i feel like tsumugi didn't "script" things nearly as much as she claims she did, she just said that so they would freak out more

i also feel like it hits way different now compared with how it must have felt when it first came out? my immediate reaction to the (alleged) Reveal™ was "oh you mean like that mr beast squid games thing?" because i first played it in like august 2024, and the whole "reality tv forcing real people to suffer just to imitate something fictional that originally had worth" was very relevant. i wonder if the game's reception would be less divisive if it came out today. maybe it was ahead of its time...

also yes, of course i replayed it in french too. there was an actual official french translation, what did you expect me to do? anyway the french version was vastly inferior to the english because there were typos literally everywhere, so i'm assuming it was rushed. gonta speaks completely normally in french btw. not even third person or anything. it threw me off.

(there were some good things though. kirumi's talent ultimate "gouvernante" is a god-tier pun. some of the characters still refer to each other by surname, so the changes in the way they address each other, eg kaito and shuichi, still work. also i think they were translating directly from the japanese rather than going through the english version, so i think i got a slightly more "accurate to the original" viewpoint. i had fun with that!)

okay that's enough sensible thoughts, i'm going to be unhinged now

astoundingly, my faves are the actual main characters this time. (in the first game my fav was sakura and in the second it's gundham, so as you can see, this is not normal.) i kept thinking "oh i hope the game focuses on these characters and this aspect of the plot--" and then it did. repeatedly. by the time chapter 5 rolled round i was checking my walls. like they wrote that chapter for ME, specifically.

shut up lemme explain what i mean. at the beginning of the game, one of the very first things kaede does after getting her first brainwashing is saying something like "oh let's calm down by thinking about gymnopédie no 1 by erik satie" I DO THAT. I LITERALLY DO THAT EXACT THING. WITH THAT EXACT PIECE BY THAT EXACT GUY. I'VE BEEN DOING THAT FOR OVER A DECADE. (for context: i am also a piano freak.)

and then she kept having the same piano opinions as me????? same favourite composers and favourite pieces and everything?????? i decided to stan on the spot. she needs to be a real person because i need to talk to her about the piano. i need to talk to her about that one singular F natural in chopin's black keys étude. i need to know her opinion on high school musical. i need to explain to her my theory of the three movements of beethoven's moonlight sonata representing the three days of the moon falling in majora's mask (she would get it).

and then she just dies immediately.

her execution scarred me for life. it's my favourite and least favourite one at the same time. i can never hear der flohwalzer the same way ever again. or clair de lune, for that matter. i would just immediately start choking to death if ill-prepared.

okay, i... i get it. I GET IT i know it's bad, the whole "female character dies to give male protagonist angst" is horribly overdone. but like... they did it so well T_T they could have solved the problem by just making shuichi a girl as well and keeping everything else the same. girl-shuichi has too much anxiety to use the public girls loos so she doesn't discover the secret passage in there, she and kaede are just really gay for each other, tenko doesn't call girl-shuichi a degenerate i guess, kaito probably shoves her or something instead of punching her in the face, everything else is the same, there we go ta-da i fixed it.

kaede holding shuichi's hand and giving him emotional support made me crumple like a piece of paper. i was so proud of myself for not caring about ships at all in the first two games, i was such a certified Romance-Hater, and then LOOK. the moment these two started talking to each other i was already planning their wedding. i mean it fully got dwarfed by how much i started stanning the brot3 later (you know of which brot3 i speak) but yknow, it was nice while it lasted.

so uhh, count me fully on board for "saimatsu", yes? that's what people call it, right?

but speaking of which, i love shuichi saihara i love shuichi saihara i love shuichi saihara I LOVE SHUICHI SAIHARA!!!!!!! SO MUCH!!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!! *lies down and wallows in appreciation*

he is my little boy and i would die for him. i love how he goes from this cringefail lil assistant guy nervous wreck, to someone who is just so tired and done and unbelievably pissed off that he strangles an entire franchise to death with his bare hands. i love that he isn't even hopeful at the end. he's TIRED. he is not messing around and he is not taking prisoners.

i love it when he's busy detective-ing and he actually starts talking more formally, like an actual detective, gah it's so good. he gets all professional and it makes more sense why he's the one doing so much of the mystery-solving during the trials (as opposed to the whole "makoto, you answer for me even though i already know the answer" "hajime, what do you think? even though you're just some guy")

his friendships with everyone are stupidly cute, what the fudge. not gonna even start because i have something to say about all of them and it would take too long. (this is also the only game where i actively like all the classmates. yeah... even korekiyo...)

i played with their japanese voices so idk what he sounds like in english but he's so adorable in japanese. i love his voice. i adore him so much oh my god i can't even think of coherent things to say about him because i'm just rotating him in my brain like SHUICHI!!! MY BOY!!!! GIMME YOUR EYELASHES THEY LOOK COOL!!!!!!

and i love that he's so AWKWARD. god he's such a weirdo. such a nerd. doesn't have a clue how to Human. relatable tbh. when he's talking to maki in the earlier chapters it's like two magnets of the same pole repelling, like their awkwardness and antisocialness bounces off each other. it's not until right near the very end that they've figured out how to like, banter with each other like normal friends. and even then they're still so weird and ridiculous about it. darn it i said i wasn't going to start on the friendships and now look what i've done-

...he's got a type, right? those uplifting, positive, supportive kind of people who latch onto him and help him feel more confident in himself? i mean he's definitely into kaede but don't think i didn't notice that one time with kaito too during the free time events (which wasn't in the french verison actually, which makes me wonder if it was there in japanese or not... god dammit just let my boy be bi)

okay yeah kaito is a purple astronaut space nerd so obviously i was going to stan him for that alone, but honestly he fully surprised me. i thought he'd be some comic relief side character, except then he punched shuichi and i immediately went "HEY >:( I LIKE YOU LESS NOW" but then he gave him actual good advice, went out of his way to apologise for punching him, made it up to him above and beyond by taking the time to understand him and be there for him and support him and be his best friend, and then he did all that with maki too, and then he got the most badass death ever--

idk man, they made this character specifically for me. like laser-cut, precision-cut, tailor-made. i've decided he's my actual, literal flesh and blood son. well except when he's being annoying or whatever but i'm just gonna blame that on his grandparents who raised him. anyway, it's danganronpa, they're all annoying and cursed as hell so i don't care okay he's my son so i forgive him and one of his most consistent and prominent traits is learning from his mistakes so he'll learn okay let me be delusional about him

v3 is an almost perfect game, but it has one fatal flaw. the flaw is that you can't high five kaito. if there was just a button to high five kaito it would be a 100% perfect flawless game. no notes. i'm right.

also, this is supposed to be nonsense ramblings so i shouldn't be getting this real, but as someone who has unfortunately been in severe depressive spirals before, having friends and family who unconditionally keep supporting you no matter what and pull you out of your head even if it feels annoying at the time, just... listen, sometimes you need the annoying extrovert bestie who forces you to touch grass. i will defend kaito momota luminary of the stars to the ends of the universe dammit. to infinity and beyond. his friendship was good for shuichi and maki, and their friendship was good for him. they all learn from each other!!!! this game is about support networks!!!!!!!!

any scene where he's coughing up blood is a good scene btw. any sprite where his face is blue and he's got calpol-pink blood all over him is a good sprite.

one time i was laughing at him for being scared of ghosts, then i walked into the loo irl and immediately saw a spider the size of the palm of my hand. i apologised to kaito instantly. i still want to lock him in a room and force him to play luigi's mansion and study all his reactions like a scientist though

no actually i'm gonna be quiet about him now because otherwise i'll go on a long-winded spiel about how freaking awesome chapter 5 was and you don't need to hear that, you can just play the chapter yourself and bask in the awesomeness. i experience a sim 3-esque positive moodlet that lasts for several days after completing that chapter. first time i outright CHEERED at an execution. they made him that cool and gave him everything he wanted and closure with everyone and for WHAT.

for ME, that's what. because he's my son and he's awesome as hell.

oH AND HE'S TOTALLY A SPACE ACE, I CAN PROVE IT WITH HIS LOVE HOTEL EVENT-- *gets dragged offstage, mic yanked out of my hand*

*mic gets put back in my hand so i can carry on* so................ maki.

i swear to god, this one character is just so insanely good she doesn't even feel like a danganronpa character anymore, she feels like she's from somewhere else and they just put her in here. my god. you could make a spinoff just about her alone. hell, just about her BACKSTORY alone. when i finished the game i was writing loads about it in my diary and most of it just devolved into me going on and on about maki. even if i intended to write about a different character, it all kept going back to maki.

(also, er, is it weird to stan a character who has no name, screentime, who we know almost nothing about, and who may or may not be real? because maki's childhood bestie got to me, man. she got to me. maki's even projecting that girl onto her love hotel scene, that's how important she was.)

ANYWAY. our terrifying little maki roll has, hands down, the best sprites in all of danganronpa. i'm talking about her berserker feral sprites, of course, but i also love the fact that she has so many sprites that are just different variations of "death glare". those glowing red eyes... god she must have been so scary when she stormed into the hangar in that exisal.

and she only has like two (2) smiling sprites? and one of them is very subtle and she's looking away, and the other one is like... genuine, but also lowkey awkward like she's not used to smiling? and you barely ever see those sprites before chapter 6? good shit right there

i was surprised how quickly she actually starts opening up (after her true talent is revealed), you don't have to like "unlock" her tragic backstory, she just openly tells you -- this poor girl was desperate to talk to someone. she shuts out her feelings and isolates herself pre-emptively but ultimately even showing her just the slightest amount of genuine support and belief is enough to get her to start changing. because underneath the assassin layer she is just a normal girl, or at least, she wishes she could have been one.

and yet she's STILL scary and murderous and she's killed her friends in the past, so when it seems to her like she's accidentally done it again even after trying to change, it must have felt like the universe just had it out for her, and nothing even mattered anymore because she never had a choice, so she tried to kill everyone else off too in a fit of grief and shock... hooohohoho ohohoho that's the good stuff!!! gimme!!!

and now i must talk about the Scene, because maki and kaito's weird pseudo-romantic friendship is everything to me. and yes, i called it a friendship, i did that on purpose, because it is! i'm not falling into tsumugi's trap. like, does maki have a crush on kaito? yeah, absolutely. does that technically matter? not in the slightest!! NOW HOLD ON LEMME EXPLAIN, I NEED TO GO INTO DETAIL BECAUSE IT'S COMPLEX-

seriously, when maki confessed my first thought was "*aro sigh* okay i knew it, let's see what annoying cheesy allo nonsense this turns into" and then it DIDN'T. it DIDN'T get romantic and it COMPLETELY subverted my expectations (positive).

"Hey, Maki Roll. I asked you before... What's your enemy? Before... you hated yourself so much. You didn't even like yourself a little... And wasn't that the reason you tried to distance yourself from others? You decided that you didn't deserve to have friends, didn't you? That was your enemy. But not anymore, huh? You're alright now! You fell for a guy like me! Now you can learn to like yourself!"

it wasn't about romance, it was about her character development all along... it's about the fact that she's able to even acknowledge and admit these emotions... the fact that she wants to fight to protect the people she cares about, because she finally admits to herself that she deserves to be happy too... because she doesn't hate herself! she peeled back the assassin layers and LET herself be herself again!! she defeated her demons and won!!!

whether tsumugi "scripted" the crush or not doesn't really affect anything, because even if it wasn't there, nothing would change?? maki still gets her happy (probably) ending anyway, zero romance involved. she gets there through belief in her best friends... she spends so much of the game with shuichi... she wanted shuichi and kaito to make up during their feud because she wanted her friendship trio back... she approves of himiko calling her "maki roll", something tsumugi seemed very surprised at since usually only kaito called her that...

the whole thing was, at its core, about friendship. she fought to protect kaito because he was so unconditionally supportive of her and believed in her. her crush on him (besides being adorable lmao) was at most, a side effect, a symptom of the wider character development she was undergoing. and also something that tsumugi latched onto to cause her despair later on, which didn't even WORK because like, maki isn't alone, she has other people she still cares about, she has a support network (see told you the game is about support networks), romance is NOT the be-all-end-all and tsumugi can't see that with her shipper goggles on.

like idk i was just so pleasantly surprised that the game basically went "romance? eh who cares, back to the important stuff like FRIENDSHIP". complete opposite of usual. almost like it was trying to make a point and spell it out for you. kaito didn't even say if he felt the same way or not, since he knew it didn't matter, he kept it laser-focused on maki's character development because that was what's important -- that if she can love him, it means she can love herself. queen of character development.

..............................all that said oh my gOD do i love a good weird-and-slightly-romantic friendship. the silly hug was brill. the crossbow training scene unravelled my brain. the iconic gender-flippery of the edgy emo bad girl going and being the assassin in shining armour, saving her manic pixie dream boy in distress... do i ship it? in a weird, heavily heavily platonic way with only very mild romance, yeah i guess. i think they should kiss but like they should be best friends about it. you wouldn't get it. i have a phD in maki and kaito no one gets them like i do

(plus i don't think kaito is capable of proper romance without automatically turning it into bromance. you've seen his love suite event, right?) (also what the hell is their ship name? i've seen so many variations...)

and i equally stan the legendary shuichi-kaito bromance, and the legendary friendship between shuichi and maki. *remembers i was supposed to be rambling incoherently, and i've been too coherent* uh uuuuhhhh okay wait remember how kaito punched shuichi, and later maki punched kaito? i think shuichi should have punched maki, because then it would complete the Circle of Punching, which would have been really funny.

other random things (so that i stop talking about those three, or otherwise i'll go on and on). my thoughts on kokichi are that he is a funny little clown, and the fact that he is so divisive would absolutely delight him and he would revel in it. the more i see conflicting opinions on him, the better. it's what he would want.

(........i think he was a good guy in the end. did a lot wrong, but a good guy. i like him.)

gonta culprit trial absolutely destroyed me. felt like i was getting mugged in an alleyway and beaten to death.

shuichi and kaito's breakup also destroyed me, but only in chapter 4. by the time of chapter 5 i found it side-splittingly hilarious. i kept making shuichi go up to kaito and i'd click on him and they'd both stand there really awkwardly not saying anything to each other. it was SO funny. i was literally nagito about it, like "this is just a stepping stone to even GREATER friendship between them!" and i was right. it was.

i really thought himiko was going to die and i was over the moon when she survived to the end. she does magic!!! it's a "beautiful lie"!!! a lie that puts a smile on people's faces, because even though they know it's not real, believing in it makes them happy!!! just like fictional stories that make you happy!!! do you get it now!!! (and GOD i love that she calls maki by the "maki roll" nickname too sometimes. underrated as hell friendship.)

maki is... i mean, considering her childhood friend, and kaito... maki also has a type, right? and... it's the same type as shuichi's type, right..? so... i'm JUST saying... if kaede had survived longer... i'm JUST no listen just hEAR ME OUT-- *gets hit on the head by a falling piano*

rantaro is just me. androgynous aroace geography nerd older sibling who's pretty chill and is smart enough to survive one killing game only to die immediately in the next one. me-core as hell. and just the fact that i'm saying such a thing makes me, undoubtedly, tsumugi.

seriously though. tsumugi was just larping with her OCs and enjoying it. we all do that. she's just like me fr. the difference is that i do it with ACTUALLY fictional characters, while she brainwashes real living breathing people and then deludes herself into believing that they're "fictional" just so she can have fun. like, girl, join a larp group and get a vr headset or something... i get you though, tsumugi. i get you. it looked fun.

i love all the characters. the monokubs grew on me somehow. monodam is the goat.

this game inspired me. i literally touch grass now. i actually go outside and EXERCISE now. i eat much more healthily. it sounds stupid because it's freaking danganronpa of all things but hey, this silly little game actually got to me. i'll admit that much.

music slaps. obviously.

i want to say more but i'm going to physically restrain myself by going to bed, since it is the middle of the night. and anyway, remember the aforementioned fic i was planning that started this entire post? i'll just smuggle plenty of my thoughts into there instead.

hmm... as soon as i found out two characters i like share the same eng dub voice actor i've been having horribly cursed fic ideas... fic ideas of a "misadventurous" kind, shall we say... i need to be stopped 😔

[ribarukirikaindenial]

snst thoughts for when The Fave eventually comes back in jn (intruding in the tag again etc), or a (long) list of things i wish could happen because it would be neat imho

- one character pointing out that snst really seem like opposites

- reiji being mentioned (bonus if satoshi spontaneously asks “how is reiji-san doing?”, or it could be just his lil bro mentioning the big bro), even better if he is briefly shown (watching shinji and satoshi’s potential future battle in the pwc, for example)

- confirmation of whether shinji managed to beat jindai post dp or not 

- shirona being involved in some way during their reunion (she was always watching over them during dp, so she could watch over their potential battle now, too)

- if they eventually battle, it would be cool if it was a 3vs3, it would be a throwback to their very first battle back at the beginning of dp (and 3vs3 were a recurring thing with them). it would make it more interesting than just a 1vs1 too, imo, and we could see what kind of pkmn shinji has now

- if they eventually battle, i want them to genuinely have fun and smile during the battle. while i felt like they already had fun during their last battle in the league (they smiled and complimented each other, for example), it also had lots of stakes for satoshi so there was a pressure attached to it (he and his team completely lost during their first full battle, so they felt like they definitely had to win in the league to make up for that loss). now, it’s different and i don’t think they would have anything to prove to each other at this point since they already settled their differences. so it could be a different kind of battle, more “free” and where they could go all out and have fun... it would be nice if they showed how they still acknowledge and respect each other (satoshi dropping a "aikawarazu sugoi~” for example, or satoshi pulling something unexpected during their potential future battle and shinji noting that satoshi hasn’t changed, something like that)

- snst friendship crumbs pls... (the first word of the "when one life meets another” quote is “friend” after all) (i’m also very curious as to how satoshi would refer to/introduce him, if he does?? it’s interesting because he never referred to him as his rival in dp, so would he now? what is snst? We Just Don’t Know)

- their pkmn interacting. it would be cool if pikachu and elekible met again since they were kind of friends already back in dp ;; (and the thought of elekible still being by shinji’s side this whole time is also good, they both seemed on the same page back then) 

-  gou and shinji interacting (insert here bnha joke because both their seiyuu are classmates in that anime ww) (the other real reason is that i think both these characters were intentionally made to be “satoshi’s opposite” in some ways, so that makes them similar on that point, as gou is “the co protag who is his opposite” and shinji is “the rival who is his opposite”, so idk it could be fun to have one interaction)

- characterization wise, it would be good if shinji was much more “relaxed”/at ease with things/wiser and less on edge than before, a bit more openly appreciative towards his pkmn too (like at the end of dp). just, sweet development iunno, showing that he isn’t stuck on the past anymore and generally being more pleasant to be around LOL. i am also curious about his current goal. what does he want to do, now? his goal at the end of dp is that he wanted to challenge jindai again, so if he managed to win, then what? what happens next? i feel like he is kind of like satoshi in that regard, where clearing a hurdle isn’t an end in itself. even though satoshi became champion in alola, that wasn’t the end of his dream and he still had goals to work towards (he wants to be a pkmn master, not necessarily a champion etc). so i hope they can parallel each other in this aspect. 

- just random musings about things that happened, but... 

(this is 妄想 heavy from now on, just wishful thinking, etc) if i recall correctly, shirona saw herself in shinji (back in dp040), talking about how she used to be in the pursuit of strength, like him when she was younger. but she got wiser with time. shirona also mentioned at the end of dp that both snst would climb their way up in the champion league someday which is seemingly what is happening now. back in the day, i found it a bit special because we never really had a projection in the future, or a prediction for the future for other characters.. so it made me think that these two are meant to remain rivals forever in the same field, pulling each other to greater heights, etc... i wonder if shirona is someone shinji could become like, in the future. wondering this, because satoshi was clearly meant to parallel dande, galar’s champion (in the way they both interact with pkmn, their personalities, etc), and dande is someone who seemed to feel lonely and scared at the top since he had never lost a battle and wondered if he could improve any further. in a way, dande didn’t really have someone who could truly come close to him. so it’d be nice if satoshi, as he is now, could still have a valuable rival in shinji, someone who could always challenge him and who would be his equal (musings for their future etc, i like the thought of them being eternal rivals). i’m also wondering if satoshi’s ascension to the top of the pwc will be that easy.

anyway, who knows if half of these could fit in one ep of cameo but i can dream ww just give me crumbs for the next decade, basically 

[dragonnan]

Author Interview Tag

Tagged by @aelaer a week or two ago, thank you!

Name: Tanya (among family I'm Nan or Auntie Nanny)

Fandoms: Sherlock, MCU, Psych, Prodigal Son, and a goodly collection of others

Where you post: For a number of years I posted on FFN but between the really shitty reviews and extremely cumbersome posting process I finally quit.  I posed on Psychfic while still an active part of that fandom but that, too, has pretty much ended.  I put a few stories on Wattpad but found it to be pretty meh. I now post exclusively to AO3.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: It's a tossup between “Fury” on Psychfic and “All Nighter” on AO3 – one based on comments and the other on Kudos.  Frankly “popularity” is really subjective because there's also stuff like read count and with comments, at least nearly half are replies from me and read count also includes re-reads as well as every time I clicked on the damn thing to edit so....

You know I'm just really not sure how to properly answer this??

Favorite story you’ve written so far: Like others have stated you can ask me this on three different days and get three different answers and there will be more than 1 fic mentioned every time so.... Because I write in different fandoms I just absolutely can't list a single fic.  The best I can narrow it would a fic from my top 3 fandoms.

Psych: Paint it Black.  I had read a fic where Shawn was gradually going blind and had really been enjoying it and the challenges it presented.  Sadly it was never completed.  As has happened before I decided I would write my own damn fic if I couldn't get a completed story so that was the primary motivation to start this.  What I most love about this is writing from Shawn's perspective as he navigates being blind and not knowing whether or not his condition is permanent.  I did my best to honor the experience of blind and partially blind people and tried to look beyond the cliché.

MCU: I have so much fun writing these stories! In spite of the dumpster fire the film canon became I do so love this sandbox and employing various forms of unfucking it.  So I'm gonna cheat a little and pick two for my faves here since one is a WIP.  Sed Diabolus.  I don't need to have completed it yet to know this will be my all-time favorite.  This is the first fic that has been entirely plotted out and OMG I'm so excited for iiiit!!  The second is Simple Math which seems like an odd choice given there's zero action – mostly just one character – hell, not even any whump.  But there is something about that deep dive into Tony's mindset that keeps this as a fave even though it was the first thing I ever wrote for the MCU.  I learned about Tony as I wrote this and I also worked my way through those motivations that bothered me regarding Stane.  Even years later I still mentally go back to this fic whenever I write Tony because I feel encapsulates the essence of how I see him as a character.

Sherlock:  Compared to other fandoms I'm still quite new to this fandom so I don't have nearly as many fics.  But I still have a favorite!  And, like with the MCU, it's the first story I ever wrote for this fandom; The Tiger and the Shark. Returning to a plot device I've employed in other fics, this one is built around a sexual assault and taking the character on a journey from that terrible event to the point where they rediscover themselves.  PTSD ever being my favorite form of whump I employ that fairly a lot in this story and employ some kinda radical methods for coping with those memories.  

Fic you were nervous to post: I mean until I start getting comments I'm a world of anxiety with every story I post.  But grabbing a specific fic that hit my nerves – that Sherlock fic I'd said was my fave certainly qualified.  Not only was it my first Sherlock fic – it also was charging out of the gate with a very heavy topic so yeah – I wasn't sure if people would absolutely hate it or find my characterizations totally off or what.

How you choose your titles: It varies a bit.  In some stories, like Sed Diabolus, I actually consult friends on various ideas.  Other times I'll consider songs or lyrics and my favorite thing is if I can alter the known title just a bit to make it more relevant to the fic (I did that a LOT with Psych fics which was the method the show also employed for its episode titles).  One of my favorite Psych titles is “The Wizard Was the Wicked Witch and the Scarecrow Lost His Courage”.  

Do you outline: Almost never – not until “Sed Diabolus”.  That story, though, is so astoundingly complex that without an outline I'd be hopelessly lost.  I am, though, trying to make a practice of outlining more because it helps SO much!

Complete: If we count every one-shot collection and challenge collection it likely is over 200 stories. Of course a lot of those are one-shots.  My total completed chaptered fics number maybe around 34?

In progress: 16 – between Psychfic and AO3.  All Psych stories are on long-term hiatus for the foreseeable future (some, honestly, I will never finish as they are many many years old and I've lost the inspiration for the plot). Several MCU stories are also on the back-burner while I focus on “Sed Diabolus”.  I admit I get LOTS of story ideas and staying focused on a single fic is not something I've ever been greatly successful with.

Coming soon/not yet started: I meaaaan.... lots?? I have probably several hundred ideas and partially started fics across many fandoms.  As to “imminently coming soon...” I don't think I currently have an active story that I haven't already posted at least a first chapter.  Sadly I have zero patience for developing something for months before posting which is why I have so many WIPs.  That said I DO have a Sherlock au that has been poking at me now and then involving the witch trials that started in Denmark and, eventually, made their way to Salem.  The idea would be that Molly Hooper is accused of being a witch.  She, of course, is innocent but cause this unfortunate attention due to her “uncanny” ability to heal the sick and injured (not so much uncanny as opposed to employing methods that aren't so reliant on superstition and folklore).  

She is scheduled to be tortured and executed but is saved by Sherlock – a strange recluse primarily ignored and given a pass as he solves mysteries for people. He and his friend John save Molly from this awful fate. The twist is that Sherlock is a sorcerer (bit of marvel crossover-ish) and able to transport them to safety.  

Do you accept prompts: I wish I could cause I love ideas but I don't have the time/energy to always work on what I already have and I'm awful at follow thru.  Like I will never turn away an Ask wanting to share ideas but I can't promise that I can actually write anything.

Upcoming story you are most excited to write:  As was the reply to a previous query – I have lots that are ideas that will linger in partial stages for sometimes years.  If it's “upcoming” I've already posted the first chapter lol!  But, again, I have several story ideas that whenever I poke through my folders I get excited about someday actually writing them.  Here is a teaser for an MCU fic involving Tony Stark and Obie (I still feel this was never explored enough – certainly not in fic):

They were doing a retrospective, ten year anniversary kinda... whatever.  Unofficial, of course. Certainly nothing Pepper would have dreamed up even at her most drunk (which, honestly, was never her scene.  Tony had sorta owned that space well beyond the time it had started owning him).  Whose idea it ultimately had been?  Frankly Tony couldn't give a fuck.  That he was asked to be one of the speakers was slightly more... awkward. Awkward was the right word, yeah?  Nauseating was certainly another and possibly a bit more accurate.

Dead for a decade and Obadiah Stane still managed to fuck with his life.

But... it hadn't always been that way. At least, not as he'd believed back when the Walkman had been on every kid's Christmas list.  

He'd thought it was bonding; at the time.  His dad had never been one for just hanging out; shooting the shit; telling tales out of school.  No, Pops, when he bothered to interact, led with questions.  “You keeping your grades up?” “You still seeing that floozy?” “When are you going to pull your head out of your ass and grow the hell up?” “You do realize it's my name you're disgracing every time you go on a bender?”

With Obie it was just, easy.  Obie might ask about school but it was always with approval and pride.  He would discuss Tony's conquests as though Tony had climbed Kilimanjaro wearing nothing but underwear and a cape.    

Obie was there when his father wasn't. Which meant that Obie was always there.  The first time he got astoundingly drunk on his father's scotch, Obie was the one to help him hunch over the toilet and vomit expensive, aged booze into the toilet.  Obie was also the one to replace the depleted bottle to keep Howard in the dark.  For a fourteen year old kid still trying to gain his dad's favor, that had meant everything.

He saw his first porn with Obie; sex education ala Traci Lords, three months shy of his fifteenth birthday.  That was the same time he was introduced to weed.  Obie had cautioned him to use it sparingly; didn't want to fry that genius brain, he'd say, and ruffle his hair.  The porn had made him uncomfortable.  Obie had turned it off and told him they could watch whatever Tony wanted.  They'd ended up changing the station to Knight Rider; smoking and munching Cheetos and laughing over their orange fingers.

It was Obie who was there, arm around his shoulders, after his parents died.  He desperately didn't want to sob in front of the man.  Things were so complicated with his dad that all he felt was blinding guilt... as though some part of him had caused this.  But Obie had filled him with bourbon until the emotions got soft around the edges and he'd sat beside the older man, head tipping gradually to the right until he was held up by Obie's shoulder.  Obie had just slung an arm around him and let Tony pass out while he rubbed a broad hand up and down his bicep.

It was strange, now, looking back with adult perspective.  A perspective that included Afghanistan and his intended execution while Obie talked about legacy and responsibility while Tony's lungs slowly seized.  He'd taken the time to sit there – arm around Tony's shoulders while one broad hand traveled up and down Tony's bicep – just like when he was a kid and Obie was the whole world.

He'd tried to remember if it had felt so... tainted... at the time.  Or if he'd always believed it was love.

Obie had never quite crossed that line. Though hindsight offered a peek into that possibility with enough clarity Tony had fought with his cramping gut for nearly thirty minutes.  He'd staved off vomiting though he was fairly certain his dignity had still been in tatters what with Bruce wandering in on his misery.

Upcoming story you are most excited about (this is basically a repeat of the above question so I decided to change it.  Do you have a future story idea you'd like to write that is not yet beyond the vague idea stage?  I love stories that put Molly in some sort of jeporady and I have a barely formed idea to someday write a “stalker fic” of some sort and not I don't care that this trope had been done on  repeat – I still love it lol!  I have a smidge of writing for it:

“I need your help.”

As afternoons at Baker Street went, this was a mundane request heard so often that Sherlock's typical reply, “Obviously, or you wouldn't be here”, could have been printed on flash cards.  The detective had actually made the suggestion after a particularly full day at the flat and having heard the statement no less than twenty times.  

Today, however, Sherlock merely blinked for a moment.  Then, with an awkwardness rare to a man with a lethal sort of grace in his movements, Sherlock gestured to John's chair, JOHN'S CHAIR, before taking his usual seat.

Molly didn't exactly smile but her lips edged up a bit before she sat.

John cleared his throat before pointing a vague hand towards the kitchen.  “I'll just go make some tea, shall I?”

“No, please, I...”  The stammer in her speech was not uncommon; though John couldn't recall such obvious fear.  Forgoing the kitchen he, instead, took the hard wooden chair facing the other two.

“Molly, what's wrong?”

Tagging: @kitcat992 @mizjoely @sgam76 @ariaadagio @hanuko @ceruleanmindpalace 

[bigskydreaming]

yeah if you wanna talk realism then there's no way jason and tim got to bruce's and dick's levels so quickly. especially jason. bruce trained for most of his life and dick was raised as an acrobat and then spent the rest of his life training martial arts. tim and jason couldn't have reached that in the few years they spent as robin. so lets not bring realism into it cause then we all come off as asshats and it's not nice.

I mean, its just so dumb to me. I’ve never once been tempted to try and diminish Jason or Tim’s skills compared to Dick by citing the time frames their training took place in….especially given that those time frames IMO were basically random numbers writers with no real experience with any of those skillsets themselves just pulled out of their asses, because they honestly didn’t care whether it was believable or not. Like sure, one could feasibly make that argument if they really wanted to, but….why? What’s even the point? At the end of the day we’re still talking about child superheroes the entire DC fandom just accepts as being able to outlast, outmatch or outperform every child superhero with actual superpowers, just as their dad can do the same with literally every adult superhero, as far as most people are concerned.

Realism is just such an absurd argument to bring into this IMO, whether its in the name of propping up a character or diminishing a character, because like….by all means, I’m right there with anyone who wants to argue real world implications or ramifications to comic book stuff, because as long as a comic book is a mirror of our world to any degree, those things don’t go away just because something happens in a comic book instead of real life.

But its an entirely different thing when you’re trying to argue real world logistics as applied to comic book stories, because the very nature of the medium is a kind of absurdism. Like, its literally the point? Its larger than life, four color shit from the bottom to the top, solely for no other reason than it CAN be, that the medium ALLOWS for it to be. Superhero comics are literally the place where anything goes, so long as you can justify it in-story. Absolutely I think you still need to have internal consistency. The things you claim happen in a story should make sense according to the internal logic or rules set forth by that story, otherwise its just…plot holes. But that’s got nothing to do with realism, its purely how….storytelling works.

Like, I use the “Dick started as Robin at eight” timeline for literally no other reason than its the version of events that gives him the most time with Bruce for the much talked about and always referenced strong bond they have to form, and it gives him the most time and experience as a trained vigilante, which in turn, to me, accomplishes the far greater task of justifying Dick’s extreme and undisputed competence in the eyes of basically the entire superhero and supervillain communities, by the time he’s an adult and Nightwing.

I mean, that’s literally the only reason I go with that, and the reason I prioritize ‘what age he debuts as Robin makes Dick’s reputation and experience as an adult hero seem most plausible’ over ‘what age he debuts as Robin seems most plausible’….. 

Is because there’s literally no childhood age where if you ask me, the things that are expected of and taken for granted with any and all of the Robins in either the comics or most fics…are remotely plausible.

Like, it doesn’t weird me out to write Dick starting as a costumed vigilante at age eight, because…..if I’m honestly viewing things through that lens…..then….him, any of them, starting at age ten isn’t any less ridiculous? Starting as a vigilante at age twelve isn’t any less ridiculous to me? Fourteen is barely plausible but stretching it, and still would require leaning heavily into the idea that the teen vigilante still had a literal lifetime of training under their belt in at least one of the relevant skillsets like acrobatics or martial arts….I mean ‘realistically,’ if we’re really trying to play that game, I would have trouble taking literally any story about any Robin ‘seriously’ unless they were at least sixteen or so….

And if you have them all start out as Robin at age sixteen or more, then….not only does that put a serious cramp in how much history/bond/partnership Bruce can develop with any of his Robins and y’know…family….in a comparatively vastly reduced time frame….but also, that pretty much negates the entire premise and point of Robin in the first place. Seeing as how IMO Robin basically exists as the quintessential youth empowerment archetype, heavy emphasis on youth….as well as at least in its early decades, doubling as the embodiment of childhood joy/innocence/potential as superpowers unto themselves.

*Shrugs* Bottom line is I honestly don’t think any one of us would be here if we were really dependent on viewing any of the Bat characters through any kind of ‘realism’ lens. The very nature of Robin’s existence kinda expects a suspension of disbelief regarding a child’s ability to go toe-to-toe with skilled foes with powers, resources and experiences far beyond anything he can comparatively match….and yet still walk away or come out on top most of the time anyway. And again, you ask me, the second you buy into that premise to any degree, you’re kinda sacrificing your right to play the ‘but realism!’ card, no matter what age we’re talking about specifically, so like….I honestly have trouble seeing where one specific ‘c’mon now, seriously?’ age is any more or less believable than any other.

And this actually really ticks me off, lol, even though its not that deep, because like…..the fact is I fully believe anyone who is able to conceptualize and word things as well as I know the particular poster whose post annoyed me is in fact capable of….like, they damn well know this themselves, and is just willfully pretending otherwise for the sake of making a bullshit argument they know is bullshit and yet are still making anyway because it suits their bullshit agenda….which in the context of an argument like that, like…it isn’t even “oh I don’t like this character or his stories and here’s why” which I mean, I get….but instead this kinda thing is “and also you shouldn’t like this character and his stories either and here’s why, even though I absolutely would never apply this same logic to any one of MY faves.”

I mean, I know its same shit, different fandom, and a lot of this is just carried over irritation after six years in TW fandom where people like…fucking ran strategic military campaigns committed to making sure as few people liked the main character as possible, lmfao….but its just, nothing about this kinda thing is remotely novel or original and I’m soooooo tired of people being so blatantly fake about their intentions, when its like….who even fucking cares? 

Did you win a prize for pretending you didn’t hate that character you actually hate? Did you score all the points by being so slick that nobody caught on that you SOUNDED like you like this character even though you actually only posted to drop in these five different reasons people should actually hate that character instead? Is literally anything anyone gains from this kinda fake BS worth the time and effort they put into pretending they have a different opinion than the one they want people to actually internalize and agree with, because the fake opinion they’re pretending to have is actually one that they hate?

*rolls eyes so much they fall out of skull*

LMFAO, sorry, you didn’t set me off, just…..this kind of behavior is just such a pet peeve of mine. Its like hearing nails on a chalkboard for me, just gets under my skin, lolol. And also its lame and boring and dumb and what if people didn’t work so hard to be so fake all the time, I’m just wondering. For like. Science and stuff.

[osleyakomwonkru]

Okay. More nuanced look at 6x13.

First things first: This episode saved the season for me. I was ready to write off this season like it never happened, and almost give up on the show.

But why do I suddenly love it? Glad you asked.

I know a lot of people apparently loved this season and hated this episode, but I guess that all depends on what you’re here for. If you’re here for the Bellarke, than yeah, I can see why it might be disappointing. But if you’re here for everything else, well, that’s why this show has been saved.

Naturally, it comes down to my faves: Octavia and Murphy.

Below be spoilers.

HOLY FUCK GUYS.

Okay, so stuff happened on the mothership, whatevs, that’s not really anything I care about. We’re all about the ground here.

Let’s start with Murphy. MURPHY. So many awesome moves and lines in this episode. Love him. Best lines: “Being a god should be more fun than this” and “Good kisser, too.” I’m excited to see where things end up going for him next season.

Also, can’t be a coincidence that they’ve quoted Buffy twice in this episode. First, Murphy with “Lie to Me”, then Raven with “Once More With Feeling”.

Now, to Octavia. My queen. Where do I even start?

Well, let’s get the Plot MacGuffin out of the way first - the Tank Top of Plot Convenience. When did Octavia pick up that skimpy number? It sure isn’t what she was wearing the rest of the season. Did Gabriel happen to have a new outfit to give her? Did Clarkephine pack a change of clothes when Bellamy dragged her into the woods? Whatever, it is a plot device, I get it. Let’s move on to better things.

I love the Octavia and Bellamy interactions this episode. Unlike the joking last episode, this did feel earned. I still want Bellamy to apologize though.

Now, onward to more serious things.

My biggest fear, and the reason why I’ve been a ball of anxiety with a pit of dread in my stomach for the past week, was that Octavia would die in some self-sacrificial act to save her ungrateful brother.

Thankfully that didn’t happen. Sure, she’s a question mark right now, but JRoth has said in interviews that Marie’s still very much a part of the show, and we will learn Octavia’s Anomaly story, be it in real time or flashbacks or both and I’m okay with that explanation for now.

Mostly because it emphasizes what I’ve been saying all along, something I’d been worrying that the writers had forgotten this season - Octavia is a key part of the show, perhaps more than anyone else. She might think she’s just Bellamy’s sister, but she’s so much more than that. She always has been. As Gabriel told Bellamy, “Your sister’s special”.

Other characters are players in this world, major or minor, but Octavia is the world. Without her, they wouldn’t know or understand the worlds they inhabit. That was true on Earth, that is true on Alpha. Then the last glyph on the Anomaly Stone - O.

O.

Let that sink in for a moment.

I don’t know what it all means yet, but we’ll be speculating for a good long while, and I know over the hiatus I’ll be studying up on octonion algebra, which will be a fun challenge since I never took algebra in high school and even pre-algebra math was close to two decades ago. But a first look on Wikipedia says that octonions relate to spacetime dimensions and have appeared in the study of black hole entropy and quantum information science. Any or none of this could be relevant.

More spec to come over the coming months, you better believe it.

[homespork-review]

Spork Introduction

CHEL: Hi! I go by Chel, they or she pronouns, and I’m the one spearheading this project. I still like at least a fair percentage of Homestuck, but after the ending disappointed me a great deal, I got bitter, and when Hussie pissed me off further by Godwinning himself, I decided to do something about it. I’m no longer angry about it, but I felt I’d benefit from picking out what I hate from what I love so I can focus on the latter without annoyance getting in the way, and also to benefit my own writing efforts.

BRIGHT: Howdy! I’m Bright, and I got into Homestuck fairly recently. After ploughing through the archive and digesting for a while, I realised that I was thoroughly annoyed by how something enjoyable had fallen apart so comprehensively. I am looking forward to the time-honoured practice of ripping the story apart to identify its weak points and shout at them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Hello, I’m Failure Artist (call me FA for short), she/her/herself pronouns, and I’m so old-school they burned the school down. I was introduced to Homestuck via Something Awful’s Webcomic thread. I checked the old mspadventures.com site and the latest update was [S] John: Bite Apple. After watching that bizarre piece of animation, I had to know what the hell happened before then. I found I enjoyed the wit of the comic though I didn’t really care much about the plot. It was only when Act 5 came around that I became a serious fan. I currently have 122 Homestuck works on Archive of Our Own. I have a lot of free time, you see. I am very disappointed in how Homestuck ended. Possibly there was no completely satisfactory way it could end but it still could have been better. I feel like Hussie was a juggler who threw a lot of balls into the air and ignored them as they fell to the ground and some fans think not catching them was a master move since you’d expect he’d try to catch at least one. Sadly, lots of the problems with the ending are embedded deep within the canon.

TIER: Hi hi. I am Tier, a very late newcomer to the wonderful world of Homestuck (2018 reader!) and average fan overall. I love this webcomic to bits, but the low points are deep and I enjoy seeking out what the heck went wrong. Not particularly analytical myself, hope that's cool!

CHEL: Cool by us! We’ve already done plenty of analysing before we started, as you may realise from my Tumblr’s “homestuck ending hate” tag (at @chelonianmobile).

FAILURE ARTIST: But let’s put that aside for a moment and talk about the good stuff. 

Homestuck is incredibly innovative. It is the first true webcomic. It’s not just a print comic posted online. It uses not just still images and words but also animation, music, and interactive games.

Homestuck is the latest adventure in the series MS Paint Adventures. MS Paint Adventures started as a forum adventure. In forum adventures, the OP acts as a sort of Dungeon Master and other forum members give them prompts. Andrew Hussie’s previous works under MS Paint Adventures were Jailbreak (which is little more than Hussie dicking with the prompters in scatological ways), Bard’s Quest (Choose-your-own-adventure), and the actually-completed Problem Sleuth. Problem Sleuth lacks the music and animation and despite the weird physics shenanigans is a simpler story than Homestuck. The characters aren’t even two dimensional.

Homestuck (and the previous MS Paint Adventures minus Bard’s Quest) are set up like adventure games. Adventure games are where the player is a protagonist in a story and are usually focused on puzzle-solving though sometimes there’s combat. In the beginning, these games were purely text. The player would type what they wanted to do and the game would spout back text describing it - assuming the computer parser understood you.

CHEL: Oh god, I HATED that. I wasn’t around for the heyday but I’ve played a couple and

Pale Luna

was barely an exaggeration (horror warning).

FAILURE ARTIST: As graphics improved, adventure games started using them, but the commands were still in text. Only later was the point-and-click interface created and players didn’t have to guess what exact sentence the computer wanted them to type. Homestuck and the other MS Paint Adventures play with that frustration while paying tribute to the genre. The game within the comic uses RPG elements but the comic itself is set up like those good ol’ adventure games. In the beginning, Homestuck was guided by commands from forum members. Even after he closed the suggestion box, he used memes and fanon created by readers.

CHEL: How good an idea this was varies, as we’ll be showing.

We probably don’t need to describe Homestuck much more. Everyone here who hasn’t read it will doubtless have heard of it. Almost everyone with a Tumblr will have seen fanart, almost anyone at a convention will have seen cosplay. Shoutouts have been made to it in professional works such as the cartoon Steven Universe, and the Avengers fandom latched onto “caw caw motherfuckers” as a catchphrase for Hawkeye to the point that it’s now often forgotten it didn’t originate from there.

FAILURE ARTIST: The Homestuck fandom term “sadstuck” for depressing stories/headcanons somehow leaked into other fandoms. Using second-person is actually cool now and not just for awkward reader fics. Astrology will never be the same again.

CHEL: Now, in the interests of fairness, we will say that when Homestuck is good, it’s amazing, and it’s good often. The characters at least start out appealing and are all immediately distinguishable; even with the typing quirks stripped, it’s easy to tell who said what. The magic system is one of the coolest I’ve ever seen, who doesn’t love classpecting themselves and their faves? Hussie also shows a lot of talent for the complex meta and time travel weirdness, and it is fascinating to watch a timeline thread unfurl. And whatever else one says, it’s a fascinating story that’s captivated millions. I think it is deserving of its title as a modern classic.

However, as the years have passed, we have ended up noticing problems, big and small, and they nagged at us until we decided it had to be dissected. Our intention here isn’t to tear apart something we loathe entirely. It’s to take a complex work and pick out what works from what doesn’t. As I said, when Homestuck is good, it’s very very good. But when it’s bad, we get problems of every scale from various offensive comments to dragging pace to characters ignoring problems and solutions right under their noses to an absolute collapse of every theme and statement the comic stood for before.

The comic is ludicrously long; eight thousand pages, or thereabouts, to be specific. Officially one of the longest works of fiction in the English language, in fact. Naturally, we can’t riff that word by word in any timeframe short of decades, and we can’t include every picture, even if that was permitted under copyright law. Instead, as comics have been done here before, we’ll recap most of the time, and include sections of dialogue and pictures when particularly relevant to a point.

Here are the counts we’ll be using, possibly to be added to later if we find we forgot anything. Most of these counts will only start to climb post-Act 5, but we’ll be keeping track of them from the beginning. Most of them could have been fixed with a decent editor, which is sadly a hazard of webcomics, but still frustrating to read.

TIER: Note: we started this endeavor months before the thought of a "technically not but still we'll count it" set of canon epilogues were a twinkle in the eyes of the fandom. That is, by the way, a whole 'nother can of worms that will be dealt with at a later date if that ever comes around. We're judging Homestuck the Webcomic as a whole, so no after the credits stuff is to be noted for whatever reason.

ALL THE LUCK - Vriska Serket constantly gets a pass or gets favored over every other character. This count is added to every time she pulls some shenanigans with which others wouldn’t get away. ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? - Sometimes it’s not entirely clear whether a thing is supposed to be taken seriously or not. We don’t require hand-holding through every joke, but when, for example, we’re supposed to take one instance of violence seriously while a similar case is supposed to be funny, this count goes up. CALL CPA PLEASE - Instances of creepy sexual behaviour (and perhaps particularly gratuitous acts of violence) from the thirteen-year-old cast. Now, mileage may vary on this one. We won’t pretend that thirteen-year-olds are perfect pure angels, especially thirteen-year-olds growing up in what is openly supposed to be a nightmarish dystopia. However, when full pages focus on said behaviour, there comes a point of it being very uncomfortable to read. Clarification: does not refer to cases where the adults do something heinous, this is strictly when the kids do. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS - When an offensive joke or comment is made, particularly when not justified by the personality of the character involved, or presented in the narration as being okay. GET ON WITH IT! - When the pace drags. ‘Nuff said. Hazard of the format, but it makes archive bingeing very annoying. GORE GALORE - For unnecessary and/or excessive torture porn which is treated less seriously because it features troll characters, and therefore less “realistic” blood colours. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC - When the comic does something mentioned in How Not To Write A Novel, and it isn’t justified by the webcomic format. HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING - Characters repeatedly neglect to do something about or even react to terrible happenings, either because they don’t care even if they should or they forget they have the capacity. Not necessarily anything to do with their magical powers, either - characters ignore personal problems that are right under their noses, too. IN HATE WITH MY CREATION - For reasons that are unclear, Hussie chose to create characters he apparently hated writing, or at least ignored in favour of others. Every time he’s clearly disrespecting one of his own characters, this goes up, whether it’s by nerfing their powers or changing their personalities. RELATIONSHIP GOALS? - Romantic relationships in particular get fumbled quite often. Ship Teasing is used with skill, but that skill tends to be lost when the characters actually hook up. Fumbled friendships and family relations can also come under this heading. SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER - When characters other than Vriska get away with something morally questionable. Covers everything from sexual harassment to not trying to save people from the apocalypse. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS - Later on in Homestuck’s run, Hussie tried to make up for the offensive humour and casual -isms counted by Clockwork Problematykks above. How successful he was at this varied. This count goes up whenever an attempt at progressivism is waved in front of the reader but doesn’t stand up under scrutiny. WHAT IS HAPPENING?? - When the already confusing plot kicks it up a notch. Admittedly this is as much a selling point of the comic as it is an issue, but either way, we’re going to keep track. Points will be added to when it gets confusing, and taken away when a previous confusing thing is explained adequately. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM - What is shown about Alternia repeatedly contradicts what we’re told about how different it is from Earth. For example, trolls still use heteronormative terms even after it’s established they reproduce bisexually, and the demonstration of the class structure doesn’t always add up. This count goes up every time that happens. It also goes up every time something happens which strongly implies Hussie was envisioning the human kids as white, despite his later claims that they were always supposed to be “aracial”, and every time their economic statuses don’t add up either.

[richincolor]

Interview with Dahlia Adler

When I was a teen, Edgar Allan Poe creeped me out, but in the most delightful way. I can't wait to dive into this new anthology His Hideous Heart. An amazing group of authors have re-imagined his stories and now the collection is out there in the world waiting for readers to experience the chills. Today, the editor and contributing author, Dahlia Adler, is here to share about this intriguing collection and her work in publishing. His Hideous Heart: Thirteen of YA’s most celebrated names reimagine Edgar Allan Poe’s most surprising, unsettling, and popular tales for a new generation. Edgar Allan Poe may be a hundred and fifty years beyond this world, but the themes of his beloved works have much in common with modern young adult fiction. Whether the stories are familiar to readers or discovered for the first time, readers will revel in Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tales, and how they’ve been brought to life in 13 unique and unforgettable ways. Contributors include Kendare Blake (reimagining “Metzengerstein”), Rin Chupeco (“The Murders in the Rue Morge”), Lamar Giles (“The Oval Portrait”), Tessa Gratton (“Annabel Lee”), Tiffany D. Jackson (“The Cask of Amontillado”), Stephanie Kuehn (“The Tell-Tale Heart”), Emily Lloyd-Jones (“The Purloined Letter”), Hillary Monahan (“The Masque of the Red Death”), Marieke Nijkamp (“Hop-Frog”), Caleb Roehrig (“The Pit and the Pendulum”), and Fran Wilde (“The Fall of the House of Usher”).

As a YA author, editor, and blogger with family relationships to maintain, could you share a few things you've learned about balancing many roles? The number one thing I've learned is honestly that balance is kind of a myth. There's no way to do everything perfectly and make everyone happy. What's worked for me is choosing what my priority will be at any given time and then backburnering things as possible. So, for example, when I knew I really wanted to finish writing a novel, I took a hiatus from blogging inasmuch was possible and took advantage of the fact that my in-laws come over every Sunday to see my child and put my butt in the chair for as solid a time block (usually 3-4 hours with of course some interruptions) on Sunday mornings as possible until I was done. When I take on extra blogging, it means writing is gonna get backburnered. Consistency is important and so is being firm on your boundaries. 

What should we be expecting with His Hideous Heart -- mild creepiness, full on terror, or something more in between? It really does run a gamut, in the same way I don't think everyone realizes Poe's story did. In addition to the Gothic horror he's known for, he's also called the father of the modern detective story, and of course some of his works were far more melancholy than terrifying. I think all of his different facets are captured really well in the collection. Certainly, though, even in the ones with happy endings, you're not gonna find sunny beach reads! Why do you think Poe's stories continue to fascinate readers after so many years? Because his themes have never stopped being relevant or interesting. They're so many of the darkest parts of humanity that we don't necessarily get to live out; they're some of our worst fantasies. Getting to live them out through literature, getting to take action against someone who drives us nuts or mourn ourselves into oblivion, is both a safe and satisfying way to explore them. It takes a brave writer to put that out into the world and I think it takes brave writes to adapt them and say, "Here's how we're still feeling those things in our current world."

How did you choose which story you would re-imagine? Well first off, I took a backseat to the others, because they're all masters of dark fantasy or thrillers or horror and I am...not exactly known for any of those things! So I was only selecting from what they did not. And then from there, "Ligeia" was such an easy choice, because I knew I was going to stick my romantic contemporary strengths as best I could, and I saw immediately how that story would play out if I did. It didn't even feel like a selection process; the idea was just...there, waiting for me to grab it.

What were some of the challenges and rewards of editing an anthology? It's always a challenge to corral that many authors, and it's just logistically complicated. There are a lot of contracts and payments and agent negotiations and I don't think people realize that it's very rare for editors not to be responsible for that (as opposed to publishers). So that in itself is a lot of work before you even get to the editing, deadline enforcing, mapping over everyone's copyediting and proofreading corrections, etc. But I have so much natural curiosity about the industry, especially as someone who's been working in it for over a decade, that I really wanted to learn how more things on this side work, so that was actually a big reward for me! As, of course, is getting to read all these amazing stories early and working with such amazing authors. I really could not have asked for better.

What was the process for finding contributors? This actually half happened on Twitter, where the idea arose and people I think are fantastic in these genres chimed in that they'd be interested, and then half happened in email, when I realized this project was actually going to happen and I wanted to make sure it had as many of my favorites as possible. Honestly, creating lineups is my favorite part of anthologies, so I just went straight to the authors I absolutely love who write in Poe's genres and asked them to join up. It was thankfully easy!

Could you share a few books you've been recommending lately? ALWAYS. I've had a lot of reason to recommend By Any Means Necessary by Candice Montgomery, which has the college setting I know a lot of YA readers are looking for, plus a killer voice, great romance, awesome friend group, and covers really relevant topics. Another upcoming favorite is The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake, which is a Sapphic reimaginging of Twelfth Night that I always pitch as perfect for fans of The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum and How to Make a Wish by Ashley Herring Blake, both of which I love. As part of my Patreon for LGBTQReads, I have sort of a "book concierge" service, where I help readers find the perfect queer book for them, and so far Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi and Hot Dog Girl by Jennifer Dugan are in the lead over there; all hail the f/f YA Rom Com! And, obviously I've been getting some Horror/Spooky requests too, thanks to both His Hideous Heart and the fall season being upon us, and my standby faves there are The Girl From the Well by Rin Chupeco, Mary by Hillary Monahan, Anna Dressed in Blood by Kendare Blake, As I Descended by Robin Talley, and Wilder Girls by Rory Power.

Just for fun, since you are involved with publishing in a variety of roles, would you share one of your strangest experiences in the industry? Oh man, it's really hard not to respond to this with anything I...shouldn't. But I'll go with an embarrassing one that also involves one of the only times I have ever lied at work. My first job out of college, I was an Editorial Assistant at Simon & Schuster. There was an event for an Entourage book, by which, yes, I do mean a show based on the horrid show I was extremely into once upon a time and that fully influenced the character of Josh Chester in my Daylight Falls duology, but I digress. Anyway, I went to the event, which was about 10-15 blocks away from the office, and I reallllly wanted a signed copy, but I also reallllly didn't want to take more than an hour for lunch because I was terrified of my boss. And since I worked there, I knew the name of the editor on the book, and I maybe used that to pretend I was her assistant so I could skip the whole line and then get my book signed. MAYBE. I cannot confirm or deny.

Thanks so much for sharing with Rich in Color. We look forward to reading these shivery tales. Thank you so much for having me!!

Dahlia Adler is an Associate Editor of mathematics by day, a blogger for B&N Teens and LGBTQ Reads by night, and an author of Young Adult and New Adult novels at every spare moment in between. Her novels include the Daylight Falls duology, Just Visiting, and the Radleigh University trilogy, and she is the editor of the anthologies His Hideous Heart (Flatiron Books, 2019) and That Way Madness Lies (Flatiron Books, 2021). Dahlia lives in New York with her husband, son, and an obscene amount of books, and can be found on Twitter and Instagram at @MissDahlELama.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Montenegro to Eurovision with 6 young souls

(this is a pre-vamp review so take this whole thing as “something I wanted to publish but my schedule was withholding until it was specifically time for them to be reviewed”, therefore, this is a bit of a retrospective review. Will tackle on its revamp later!)

Montevizija, which finally has an official Twitter account (we all should forget the times some dude named Vasilije pretended to having made one), offered us another batch of 5 songs for another year, actually revealing all of them beforehand this time and not just the snippets! Joy to the world I guess.

You gotta love Montevizija for it being the most underrated ex-Yugoslavian national final btw. Granted, it only lasted for 2 editions as of now, and it will take years to grow bigger as a thing, but so far, for us the NFs that are ingrained to our brains more are Dora, EMA and Beovizija (and even Skopje Fest when THAT was used to pick an act and not just served as a festival like it originally was meant to be), therefore Montevizija seems more shunned. But what do you expect when the lineup of 5 for two years in a row is not exactly as stellar as hoped for? Well, there are gems here and there, but they haven’t really won on either years (or at least not on the 2nd year if you call Vanja’s song a gem too), and yet somehow they find someone who call them great. But for me this Montenegrin entry is not. :L

And who is up there to be colossally blamed for its existence? None other than this group of 6 refering to themselves as D mol (with “mol” decapitalized for whatever reason... they used to have hyphen separating the ‘D’ and ‘mol’, but now they scrapped it altogether, an anime death I’ll never forget). Worth noting that I, as a 19 year old, have this particularly ugly feeling I must get rid of, and that’s the one of “feeling old”, already at my age. And this is how I felt seeing that the band whose song I am not fond of today is made up by members that are of 16-17 to 21-ish years old!!! So my heart insists that I shouldn’t go too hard on these poor younglings, even if this is just me, currently tackling the brethren of my age. Prepare as I’ll go to shred their composition they’re going to Tel Aviv with, “Heaven”, to bits.

Although, what I call “shredding to bits” is merely just nitpicking the reasons the original version (keep bearing in mind that I haven’t heard the revamp yet) sucks imo, and idk, the new “Heaven” miiiiiiight just grow on me, but I heavily doubt about it because I never cared for it in the first place (youhouuu, they were my last in Montevizija ‘19 for a reason), and I’m rather looking forward for the new faves from the 8 songs I haven’t listened to yet rather than those that were already chosen. And even the Eurofans were not quite fond on the revamp, as some think the additional ethno sounds made it sound worse (and of course there are some that kinda like it or think of the song as their guilty pleasure). So why shouldn’t I? :O

Anyway, old “Heaven”. The first sounds on here to grace my ears on this song consist of one light piano note being tapped to an exact rhythm and a confused baby girl stuttering. And I’d’ve maybe enjoyed this more ironically at some point if it weren’t for the latter sound effect being re(ab)used later in the song!! Ugh I hate it. The lyrics are fine I guess... though isn’t it ironic the only English song in Montevizija’s lineup this year won?? It’s like the Montenegrin people were openly cringing when being the only ones to understand Vanja comparing his life to cat’s and mouse’s and calling his heart “the most expensive toy” in his song and then they were like “you know what? Let’s let the WHOLE Europe understand how terrible our lyrics are! ^_^” (no but for real, who still uses “I’m in heaven, falling straight into your heart” as a pick-up line? Did they travel through time from 1998 to 2019 or something???)

Speaking of the 90s, the whole song smells like a dated cliché of that period. You know, the kind of “the high school prom song from that 90s teen sitcom’s who you’re forced to watch when your elderly aunt is in the house with you and there’s nothing else on TV” dated. Dated even more than “Chain of Lights”. Seriously though! It includes the pathetic “wah wah” bassline, mid-tempo beats, the boy/girl-group harmonies... catch me puking sugar-coated cheese to this, no thanks. Oh and if you already read my “Zero Gravity” review (which you probably never even bothered to after seeing how much text would you have to read), I definitely mentioned that I’m not a fan of those “two verses-two choruses” songs, and especially those kind of ones that aren’t sounding like something suited for radio (e.g.: Poland 2018, “Light Me Up”)... this obviously sounds like something from the radio of the times the at-the-time senior highschoolers are currently over 30 or slightly over 40, and that should be 4 and a half minutes long. These verses could just not be more ridiculously dragged out for the choruses to prevail and get stuck in our brains... fucking welp [sic] me already.

Well, if there are any brownie points I could give this, it’s pleasant, it’s harmless if I don’t take into account the cheese vibes this emits, and all this bunch are made up by up-and-coming talented singers that clearly deserved a better song...

And the staging concept in their NF was cool tho (illustrating their power of D mol), and I applaud the couple chemistry I guess

Oh and this below is one of the most underappreciated memes this Euroseason:

*stares into your soul in Montenegrin*

So yeah. Oh and the Rizo(tto) guy who is self-aware of his hotness and the hotness of the much older Eurovision guys this year, but he’s not doing it for me so that I could be in heaven falling, so he’s getting a hard pass.

All in all - a nostalgia cash-in made to appease the housewives from Podgorica to Skopje, from Novi Sad to Štúrovo, and nothing quite else, sung by a cool bunch of people that if anything are deemed this year’s "great people with an unfortunately too dated song and a shitty draw” by me. I don’t know much of their personalities but I do believe that even if they like what they’re singing, they’d be much better off doing a better sounding throwback, at least. So that even the disappointed-by-”Heaven” Eurofans could at least call it “so dated but a BOP!”. And hey, I’m aware of those fans that will likely be pissed at me for not bopping along to this, but I said what I said about it and yet again, if revamp changes my mind, I will change my opinion, but right now I’d not prefer to. Grumpy Adio.

Approval factor: Hell with the no. I would like Vanja back instead. At least he made himself a somebody to be cared about even if the Eurofans didn’t quite adapt to his song in return.

Follow-up factor: somehow, both “Inje” and “Heaven” were/are seen by the masses as instant NQs, so it somehow doesn’t sound like Montenegro is following a great path so far. And after this year anything that audience favours and wins can be seen as a way better follow up after something meh coming after something wrose.

Qualification factor: For the n-th time, I’m yet to check the revamp out to state where this will actually go, but being put 2nd in the draw is a massive stab in the knee, as demonstrated by even the national finals this year (Electric Fields in Australia Decides, Aly Ryan in Unser Lied für Israel, Lisa Ajax in Melodifestivalen final... the only glaring exception is ZENA in Eurofest but is it me or these producers did this just so they could be all like “heeeey we put a winning song on 2nd just to show that a NF song can win from ANY draw! ANY DRAW!!!” lol nope), and from it only a few lucky souls have crawled out victorious (Nathan Trent for example, the draw might have pushed him down in the semi but he got up again!). D mol, for as young and developing in talent as they are, don’t seem to be such. You can be young and pitied for your personality, but you always can at the same time have a song that completely crushes your chances to do well and sweeps up the last shards of hope right in front of your eyes despite being an angel worthy of protection (Ari Ólafsson, anyone?). Unless the D molians work all their magic and the random ethnic vibes into their favour for some reason, but for now it ain’t gonna work.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

And even then, what was so interesting about Montevizija 2019?? Let’s see...

• First off, let’s address one meme of the beginning of 2019 that Facebook may or may have not used purposefully to upgrade their automatic “facial recognition” skills - the 10 years challenge. Our first one of this season is the sassy maneater who spent her ESC stint by trying to unlove a guy so hard that he just couldn’t oblige - Andrea Demirović. Her decade-later A-game happened to be this one song she sang in her mother-tongue: “Ja sam ti san” (I am your dream). Now, I wasn’t particularly into it - I enjoy some electro tracks out there (like hello, “Igranka” is one of my favourite Montenegrin entries, and 2013 entries overall as well) but this one just ended up being the right amount of cool AND overbearingly unsettling for me to not really fancy it. Kinda like “Red” by HyunA - I can only bop to this if I don’t care about the fact I actually hate it, oops. (Or maybe it is just because Andrea once again used a composition done by one of those “rent-a-NF-songwriter” people. Which is at least better than collabing Ralph Siegel who’s stopped being relevant ever since starting to work with San Marino, or even since the hilarious attempt of a peace song sung by the original common framework, six4One. But since Michael James Down has co-contributed to one of the better Montevizija songs last year, I will not allow myself to think it’s thanks to those kind of songwriters.) Nevertheless, the Eurofans actualy kind of loved this song, but sadly, Montenegrins and the international jury did quite not, and she didn’t land on to the superfinal 2 (as opposed to a superfinal 3 last year, to which she could have easily qualified if it still were a 3). Here’s her song to y’all anyways (and the performance too, which just needed to include some random monster dudes dancing around... why? Because Eurovision! ^^):

• Speaking of Andrea, during the results part there was this one shot of hers where she was pictured just casually chilling on her phone, not giving a damn that she’s being underrated on the scoreboard. Not only she was badly rated, but this moment was such an universal #mood!

• In between the finally final results announcement (which I didn’t really know when exactly was it taking place because the winner wasn’t really said out loud before the event I will describe next was taking place??) there was this lottery going on of who would be the lucky two audience observers that’d win tickets to Tel Aviv... hilariously enough though, it somehow malfunctioned and there were some sort of errors regarding the announcement of the RIGHT winner <3 but the winners happened and I hope they’re getting to go to Tel Aviv at some point during the Eurovision events! Hope they don’t feel startled by the lack of taken seats this year.

• Unlike Eesti Laul, Montevizija this year took up the job of showcasing tweets of Eurofans, and somehow this fellow fella ended up seen by a handful of Montenegrins AND international viewers. Take a wild guess which of them know what a daddy Serhat is.

• And who could not forget the magic flying envelope for to announce the winner of the NF:

there must have been some Harry Potter magic in there :O

As for what touches the other songs, well there’s the last year’s fan fave Nina Petković with another song, but it’s no “Dišem”, so don’t even bother. Or bother, but imo it’s just okay-sounding, nothing that groundbreaking or pleasant enough to be competitive. The other few songs were also nice but I’d like not to make this longer as my other write-ups, to be fair. Sucked to be Mr. Kállay-Saunders who, as the international juror chosen for this national final, had to rank its songs... as that NF happened right on the same day his second A Dal 2019 performance was taking off. Not that the international jurors were supposed to be present in Montenegro on the day of this NF, anyways...

Anyway, despite all this goddamn criticism (that could’ve flown more smooth had my computer not restarted in the middle of me doing paragraphs for this review), I’m fare welling the D mol-ians and would like to wish them a heavenly Eurovision experience. ^_^

[abitterlifethroughcinema]

         #ABitterLifeThroughCinema’s WOKE! Film Reviews

     The Top Ten (+1) Best Movies of 2018 and where to find them!

                                                          by

                                           Lucas Avram Cavazos

+1…11. Overlord  Having its premiere at this year’s Sitges Int’l Film Fest, Overlord not only happened to be one of the fave films screened there this past festival, but this cinematic fantasy is an all-too-real and stark portrayal of a horror that actually occurred, and it deserves a nod from the Barcelona film critic family, so here it goes. Duly noted, I’d say. It starts with an insane aerial combat mission on the night of D-Day, one which goes awry and sees only a handful of paratroopers surviving the drop when enemy fire rains hell. They land in provincial France and the plot sets out to detail some of the inner workings of the Third Reich in reference to the insane, gruesome experiments done on captured Europeans and Jews. Those stories you’ve heard about turning these poor people into guinea pigs for super soldier intent using potent, injected serums…yeah, those? They’re true, if you believe the words of JJ Abrams. Are they as utterly brutal and horror/zombie film-like as displayed here? I sure as hell hope not. (now available On Demand and DVD)

10. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs There once was a film called O Brother Where Art Thou? While this is not its sequel, there is a sharp-witted vein to this film that could only be crafted and gifted to us by the Coen Brothers. What a hoot it is, even if it is a rather darkly-tinted hue of that hoot and humour. It is also one of their finest in years. Revolving around the singing cowpoke Buster Scruggs (Tim Blake Nelson) and five other tales brought to us with the commonly-threaded theme of death in often brutally funny ways, this film is a fine return to oddball form from two of the finest sibling directors of all time. Starring Liam Neeson, James Franco, Zoe Kazan, even Tyne Daly and so many in its vignettes, and that acting star power fuses this Western comedy into new territory for the brothers. Their previous works set in the west always seemed to be re-hashing works of years gone by but here, with their usage of almost comic-book-like details and witty banter make this much more enjoyable than their other historical works like O Bother and their remake of True Grit. Best western in absolute years! (available on Netflix or VOD)

9. Eighth Grade This poignant little film, which should have been wide-released everywhere the world over, is given fierce and bittersweet star power by Elsie Fisher, protagonist and student at the heart of this film. Comedian Bo Turnham has brought us the quintessential coming-of-tweenage story and along with Fisher, everyone in this film is so perfectly placed in their roles, especially Josh Hamilton as her dad, who deserves some nominations for this film but is unlikely to get any. Telling the story of 13-year old Kayla, we the audience get a sneak-peek into the minds and lives of today’s young adults. From her simple YouTube videos made to encourage other young kids to her obvious desire to fit in with older kids to her insecurity with boys, this film paints a stark reality that too many have lived through and this little indie film deserves aplomb from anywhere it can get it! (now available On Demand and DVD)

8. A Star is Born I skipped the critics’ screening of this film for the mere fact that I couldn’t bear to see if the acting and plot lines were another torrid take on a much-redone film. Even into the holiday season, I had not yet seen it and then when I did, I certainly took back any reservations. Bradley Cooper’s update of the film starring himself and Lady Gaga is just about as good as everyone said it was, and that was beyond refreshing to note post-viewing. In many ways, I feel that Cooper is likely revealing a few things about himself with the guise of “it’s a movie” being a nice cover; in some ways, he gives us what I believe are hints of his covert life, and it’s with Gaga’s turn as Ally that we really see him shine beyond the shtick of his character, country-rocker Jackson Maine. In a tad corny-tad, gripping way that takes hold the moment you see Gaga, let’s be frank and real, this film goes on to detail a Diet Coke version of the grim realities that often detail too many a tale of celebrity in Hollywood. Without revealing too many details of the film’s plot and denouement, we are looking at a necessary conversation about alcoholism, drug addiction and fame (plus a lack of ’NO’ men/women in many relationships) that needs to addressed for all ages. Well done, Mr. Cooper Goes to the Oscars. (At select screens, On Demand & DVD)

7. El Angel Incidentally, this may be the first time in a rather long time that I say something good about Argentinian men, so do take note. Telling the true story of fresh-faced boy killer Carlos Robledo Puch, played to Oscar-worthy perfection by newcomer Lorenzo Ferro, the masterful detail to which director Luis Ortega has crafted this arthouse meets dramedy-thriller is astounding and easily touches heights set by dePalma and even, dare I say it, Scorcese. We follow young Carlitos Puch, who is just nearing the edge of seventeen, as takes up with a rough and tough family of his devilishly attractive school chum Ramon, played by the spirited Chino Darin, son of Ricardo Darin. But as Carlitos comes to find out, his street crimes can easily be paved to real ones and his sadistic tendencies suddenly yet gradually paint a picture of someone who is in part desperate for attention and tacceptance and in part a fairly smart, well-to-do young adult. He parlays his sociopathy at pubescence into psychopathy with time, and this film will likely be, but should definitely not be, forgotten come awards and Best Of lists time.(available On Demand and DVD)

6. Black Panther As Oscar season comes to a head, it is worth talking about one of the most striking films that you’ll see for a while. Black Panther is that good, not only because of its genre but also because of its message: that seeking freedom through recreating systems of oppression will only extend the ill-treatment and broken nature we find ourselves in nowadays. Set in the fictional African nation of Wakanda, protagonist King T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman) brings us the first real black superhero from the Marvel universe. With a cast including Lupita Nyong’o, Angela Bassett, Forest Whitaker and Michael B Jordan, the acting is beyond impressive. What is even more amazing, however, is how the plot power-plays many elements of our world’s current political climate. (now available On Demand and DVD)

5. Chappaquiddick Another film which is nothing short of striking in its relevance to the current political situation in the USA. Senator Ted Kennedy was the only remaining Kennedy that I was familiar with throughout my adolescence and early adulthood. Jason Clarke as the Massachusetts senator is astounding, as is the cut of his jib and chin, although the accent was a tad weak, to be ever sincere. This is a complete revelation on the many details that were only gingerly touched upon during the course of the week following the death which this movie is detailing . As the facts are laid out in the film, it astounds me that the American people continued to vote and elect Kennedy for decades after. This is a study on arrogance, class and governmental ambiguity. And if that was the case with liberals in the Sixties, how much more so with conservatives in this digital age? My favourite film of last year’s BCN Film Festival. (now available On Demand and DVD)

4. Private Life Good Lawd this is such a heartwarming/breaking story with the finest elements of believable comedy and situational realism that define the art of the classic Gen X film from the 90s to now. May we never forget that it was Gen, and even those a few years before them, who gave us the digiverse-Netflix-instant oatmeal www.orld in which we live today and when I see a very NYC film like this one, it makes it a true reality check. Being the age that one should be married with kids, I watched Kathryn Hahn as Rachel absolutely slay the silver screen and am eager to see if she picks up any more accolades throughout the current awards season. Simple plot…she’s in her early 40s and her hubby Rich (played by Paul Giamatti) is entering his late 40s and they are fully entrenched within the confines of every single way to conceive a baby. Following the couple through their trials and tribulations really get pushed up an ante when sort-of relative Sadie (the lovely Kayli Carter) decides she will be the surrogate mum for them as things get a tad pear-shaped. This could easily be dubbed a dreamed, for in effect, it is; what needs to be known is that this is also a morality tale for a new age. The old-fashioned ethics of yesteryear just do not apply anymore, at least not in big cities, and the less is more factor easily makes this one of the finest films released within the last year. (available on Netflix)

3. BlacKKKlansman Without a doubt, this is the finest work in all too many years by Spike Lee, and he takes no prisoners in letting you know that the spilled essence of blaxploitation all over this celluloid is to egg you into knowing that this story is 100% true…and crazy. The mere fact that David Duke is literally cheerleading for the current President of the United States should scare us all and wake those who are not. Watching actor John David Washington portray Ron Stallworth, the real-life cop who slyly infiltrated the inner workings of the Klu Klux Klan 40 years ago. After signing up for the Colorado Spring PD, he realises the lack of trust in the 98% Anglo-Saxon workforce, as he’s thrown into monitoring the goings-on of any Black Panther student situations. Eventually, he takes up with a guy on the force that he can dig called Flip and played to skilled excellence by the oddest of lookers Adam Driver. Basically, the plot follows the twosome, as they tag team the aforementioned white supremacist movement, Ron being the voice and Flip being the wingman as they start an investigation on grand wizard bastard himself David Duke, played to troubling perfection by Topher Grace, evoking all of the calmness and utter sociopathic tendencies of a man reviled by most yet revered by still too many. And watching this taut film and how it rolls through such a daunting story with comedic aplomb and vicious realness gives you goosebumps. That said, as the film gets toward its ending, is when Lee gives you the goods when he flashes to scenes from the crazy Charlottesville, Virginia, riots, AntiFa protesting and subsequent death of Heather Heyer, may she rest in peace. God Save the World…and Amerikkka.

2. Fahrenheit 11/9  Premiering a few weeks ago here in Spain at very select cinema screens across the country, this is the first documentary in some time by Michael Moore that could play across an international landscape and should be required viewing on any critic’s or person’s list. The titular oddity refers to the day after we all woke up across the world in shock and awe that Donald J Trump had won the Presidency of the USA. Even if this is not Morre’s best film to date, it is undoubtedly the one that holds the viewers’ feet to the fire and calls for them to fight the nasty funk of this administration. But, it’s when he takes it back to his roots, to Flint, Michigan, and ends up involving all local and state politics, that we start to see the more sinister undertakings happening amongst conservative parties, ideals and societies. When you add in the fact of the Parkland High School shooting and the way Moore later fuses footage of Hitler and his minions and followers with a rally speech made by the current occupant of the White House, it becomes all too obvious that things are exactly as we think they are (A HOT MESS!) and we have very little recourse rather than claiming truth. (now available On Demand and DVD)

1. ROMA There are tender moments of realism that are permitted to happen with the rise of instant cinema on VOD and direct-to-home films, and it has been a pleasure to see that sites like Netflix and Amazon and Canal+ have truly added to the foray in which great celluloid can be brought to the masses. Case in point comes the finest piece of dramatic celluloid that graced the silver screen in the last year. Being a Mexican whose father is a naturalised citizen of the US and a mother who is Chicana from the US, like myself and my siblings, the sentimentality ran deep with this film. One of the differences I experienced was the fact that we were the only Mexican-American family in a stately US country club…and we had an entire childhood spent with loving housekeepers, which is what this film inherently is honouring and depicting, using the backdrop of Alfonso Cuarón’s take on growing up in 70s-upper middle class Mexico City in the neighbourhood of Roma. Depicting the life of the house assistant Cleo (first-time performer Yalitza Aparicio in a J.Hud moment, frankly) and the family of Sr. Antonio (Fernando Grediaga), a doctor in the Mexican capital, what Cuarón has called his most personal film to date, is also a B&W modern tale in the vein of Gone with the Wind, and the fact that he centres around a privileged Mexican family is poignant for several reasons: it not only takes a focus away from how Donald bloody Trump has painted Mexicans, in general, to the world, but it also highlights a very human element to how many classes of society function and live there in the frontier regions of North America and, more importantly, EVERYWHERE…easily put, this is a sweet, oft-times simple, oft-times brutal story on humanity. What binds so many critics together on this film’s merits is that fact that Alfonso Cuarón has crafted the past year’s most enigmatic movie, leaving us to make our own answers to what happens to Lady Cleo, her best mate Teresa, and this beautiful family. Absolutely and quietly stunning! (available on Netflix and selects screens across the country)

[margridarnauds]

📝💕🌐 for the symbols ask

💕 Your two top fave fictional characters

I’ve spent way too long in Lazare de Peyrol’s bird brain to not be attached to the idiot at this point. Also, since I did my Capstone on Bres, I’d feel remiss if I didn’t include him, though me putting him as a literary VS mythological character might very well open up a decades-long Celtic Studies Schism. (Also, since I feel guilty over not including any female characters on here, Lucy Westenra from Dracula and Morgan le Fay. I will defend both of them with my life.)

📝 Fave quote

I hate how, whenever I question like this comes up, I completely forget anything and everything I’ve ever read. 

I was going to nerd out and include Emer’s speech from The Sickbed of Cuchulain because it’s quite frankly relevant to this day and FASCINATING from the perspective of the time (being one of the FEW times in Medieval Irish lit that we really...get a woman’s perspective on being left by her husband and bitter and still in love, because in the other examples we get, namely The Wooing of Etain, the jealous wife is portrayed as a very toxic figure) but then I decided no, it was too nerdy even for me. 

So instead I took the less nerdy route and went with Lord of the Rings (though I’m committing a great heresy and using the film quote as opposed to the book because as beautiful as Tolkien’s prose was, MY GOD the man never wrote a word when ten would work): 

“It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why.But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.”

“What are we holding on to, Sam?”

"That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.” 

I don’t think I fully...got this speech when I was watching LOTR for the first time as a fairly sheltered 6-7 year old and then, watching it time after time again, I think I kind of took it for granted. But taking a class on Lord of the Rings with the state of the world as it is today, seeing so many people in our generation bitter, but apathetic because “What good can I do?” it really hit home. It also shows why LOTR is so DIFFERENT from the Heroic Epics it was based off of and most of the Fantasy genre that would mindlessly copy it. Heroes like Achilles, Cuchulain, Sigurd, Beowulf, etc. are, more than anything else, concerned with #1. Or, if they’re slightly more altruistic, they give a damn for their own tribe. But, most of the time, they care about their own reputation and their own glory without really having a higher cause to serve. But, here, we see these two Hobbits, NOT the standard heroic template, about to give into despair, and the thing that brings them back is just that there’s good in the world, and even if there’s always going to be darkness, even if the world will end eventually (which....I love how fatalistic the LOTR novels are because it gives me lovely Anglo Saxon feels), even if things look scary and like there’s no possible way to survive it, it’s important to fight it because, dammit, the world’s too important to be lost to apathy. Humanity is too important to be lost to apathy. 

🌐 Languages you can speak and/or are learning. Which are you fluent in

I took two semesters of Latin Back in the Day, which translates out to me being able to understand roughly 60% of the pretentious mottos I read. I also took 3 semesters of German, which means that I can translate full songs, more or less, with a decent dictionary and many tears. I can also say “Ja” “Genau” “In Ordnung” “Danke” “Es tut mir leid” und “Hilf mir, bitte; Ich bin eine dumme Amerikanerin” (Though I’ve not given up on doing an updated sub of Friedrick: Mythos und Tragödie.) One day, I will have to do Old and Middle Irish, but they make me cry so I’m holding off on it for as long as I can. 

[bitchinparty]

Panel Voting is open!

Since we only got 7 more panel submissions than there are slots for panels, we decided not to do two rounds of voting as planned. Instead, voting will be open from now until February 18th. The voting form contains all the panels and descriptions along with mod names--please let me know ASAP if I missed any of the co-mod arrangements flying around! Voting closes at 11:59pm on Sunday, February 18th. VOTE HERE! (Voting instructions are in the form. You must be registered for the con for your vote to count. Side effects may include increased heart rate, shortness of breath, uncontrollable gigglefits, and inability to can. Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.) Panel Descriptions SINGLE FANDOM Women of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (mod: Minim Calibre) Natasha Romanoff, Peggy & Sharon Carter, Jessica Jones, Shuri, Gamora, Valkyrie, Maria Hill, and many, many more! Let's talk about the wonderful women of the MCU and why we love them. Avengers Reassemble (mods: Lucifuge5, mizface) MCU's been kicking it for 10 years and counting. Where is it going and where would we want it to go next? Captain America: The Star Spangled Man With a Plan* (*for certain values of plan) (mods: Minim Calibre, Gwyneth) From a kid from Brooklyn to a bearded outlaw, come talk about Captain America and Cap fandom as it stands on the eve of Infinity War. Pacific Rim: Uprising - Next Gen Heroes Yay? (mod: Raine Wynd) Pacific Rim Uprising gave us another apocalypse and a set of new heroes to like. Let's talk - and maybe discuss where Raleigh and Herc were doing while this was going on. :-) The Real Bad Place Is The Friends We Made All Along (mods: SDWolfpup, Brynn, Minim Calibre) The Good Place started with a straight-forward premise and became one of the most complicated, delightful, and philosophy-loving shows on TV. Let's talk about why we love it (so many reasons!), how it manages to keep turning its own premise with such skill, and what we hope for next season. The State of Bandom: 2018 (mods: aethel, Lucifuge5) Bandom in 2018 is a different beast from Bandom in 2007. We'll chat about how the fandom has changed (and how it hasn't) and what the musicians are up to now. Come reminisce about your time in Bandom! A short time ago, in a fandom not so far away... (mods: bessyboo, exmanhater) Let’s talk STAR WARS! Originals, Prequels, Sequels, Rogue One, Clone Wars, Rebels, EU—which parts are you really feeling, and why? Which parts that you’re not already into should you check out? What did you think of The Last Jedi? Everything from the galaxy far, far away is on the table! Miss Fisher's Intersectional Feminism (mod: krytella) The adaptation of MFMM from books to the screen aged Phryne up into a rare portrayal of a glamorous heroine over 40 surrounded by a broad range of supporting female characters. The show tackles social issues around gender and class and occasionally attempts to grapple with racism and Australia’s colonial history. What do we love about it, what do we wince at about it, what do we wish we had fanworks about for it? Visit Themyscira (mods: cyborganize, metatxt) Share your Wonder Woman story, whether you're a movie lover, a Lynda Carter devotée, or a long-suffering comics fan. A conversation about the conversation about Wonder Woman: why we feel how we feel about her, what she represents, how she has been represented. Explore Diana's origin in the early 1940s (see: Professor Marston and the Wonder Women) and her fictional origin in the Amazon culture of Paradise Island / Themyscira, and why the character and her worlds are still relevant. Will involve the F word – feminism! (And the other F word – femslash!) META AND MULTIFANDOM Sometimes we pay for it (mod: rivers_bend) come talk about queer romance novels, fannish tropes in pro fiction, and finding the perfect book for you. It's the End of the World As We Know It, And I Feel Fannish (mods: SDWolfpup, cyborganize) Post-apocalypse shows & fic are plentiful, and have plenty of fans, even though they're (usually!) very dark. What draws us to these worlds? What are your favorite post-apocalyptic media and why? What do we learn about ourselves from watching others struggle with the destruction of everything they knew? Where Do We Go From Here? (mods: Minim_Calibre, cyborganize) As the Internet changes and sites rise and fall, how do we stay connected as a community? Can we? Explore the state of fandom in 2018 and how has it changed since the first Bitchin' Party ten years ago! Fandoms That Won't Die (mods: aethel, Lucifuge5) Come talk about the fandoms you love that surprised you with their longevity! Why do some fandoms last and others don't? Fannish Osmosis Fic Exchange (mod: Scribe) Write a stranger the fic of their dreams...for a canon you only know about via hearsay! Other types of fanworks welcome, as long as they can be completed in about fifteen minutes; reading/sharing with the room is encouraged for maximum hilarity, but not mandatory. You Like My Thing Wrong (mod: bessyboo) You know that moment when you’re really into a popular thing, but you hate the popular pairing, or character, or fanon characterization? Or maybe you’ve been into something for a million years and suddenly everyone else is on board too, but everything they’re saying and creating is just…WRONG? Friends, let us get together and discuss strategies for taking a breath, chilling out, and avoiding feeling like horrible fandom hipsters or Bitter Old Fandom Queens when other people just Like Our Thing Wrong. Cest is Best (mods: bessyboo, metatxt) Incest and step/pseudocest have seen a rise in popularity recently in the mainstream, from Game of Throne to Billy & Billie to The Flash, but they've been popular in fandom for over a decade. What's the continued appeal of incest in fandom? And why do you think it's starting to hit more mainstream popularity now? Do you have limits on what you will or won't read--and has that changed? Are you here for the sitcom fluff, the dirtybadwrong angst, or something in between? Let's talk about fandom's fondness for keepin' it in the family! Feelings Are The Worst (mod: jedusaur) Emotions run high when you care a whole lot, and fandom is all about caring a whole lot. Let's talk about different types and contexts of fannish feelings, what sparks and alters our fannish interests, how and why conflicts arise in fandom, what feelings even are (your mod will make a sincere effort not to derail the conversation too far into the intricacies of the ventromedial prefrontal cortex), and what situations lead to fandom obsession, frustration, gradual indifference, and loving everyone in this whole damn bar. Alphas, Omegas, Doms, & Subs: Alternate Gender System Tropes (mods: krytella, keerawa) Why do A/B/O, BDSM AU, and other AUs that play with alternate gender designation have such strong appeal? Do they provide a safer space to eroticize gendered oppression, create a dystopian critique of gendered oppression, or both at once? Are slash gender system AUs an expression of internalized misogyny or badly written female characters or something else entirely? Do slash and femslash uses if this trope serve to straighten the queer relationships they depict? How about alpha/alpha and omega/omega stories, or D/s AUs centering switches? Wait, we only have 50 minutes? Documenting Fandom (mod: aethel) Fans have been writing down the history of fandom since fandom began. Let's discuss the various ways and reasons that fans document fandom! And also Fanlore. Speed Dating Small Fandoms (mods: metatxt, cyborganize) A semi-structured con-game where we share and explore why we love the small fandoms we love. By generating a creative categorization structure, together we will match-make fans with new small fandoms relevant to their interests. Our goal is for everyone to leave with a new fandom to date and a new fan joining one of their small fandom faves. TECH AND WORKSHOP A Song and a Dream: Now What? (mods: SDWolfpup, scribe) You've got the perfect song for your fandom - what's next? How do you get source? What do you do with mkv files? Square pixels? Frame rates?! To outline or not to outline? Do I really need a clip database? Let's talk about it all! Break on Through: Getting Beyond the Block (mods: Minim Calibre, thewightknight) Come share tips and tricks for defeating a creative block. Why We Write: Fandom Needs You! (mod: keerawa) This panel is aimed at aspiring writers, experienced writers dipping their toes into fanfiction, fanfic writers who've been going through a dry patch, or anyone looking to get the creative juices flowing. Topics will vary based on the participants, but might include how to start, where to find cheerleaders and betas, where to post, how to get over that hump and throw ourselves into writing something we and other fans will love. I'm sure the FBI has a file on me: research and fandom (mod: Minim Calibre) Ever find yourself needing to know the marriage requirements in places you'll never live? In-depth information on weaponry? Best ways to hide a body? And, of course, sex tips you may or may not ever need. Come share your tales of research gone wild and/or pick up research tips and tricks from your fellow fans. Oral Not!Fic (mod: bessyboo) In this workshop, we’ll define what oral not!fic is, talk a little about how to create it, and then finish up by creating an oral not!fic before the panel is over! Cosplay 101 (mod: bessyboo) Have you ever wanted to get into cosplay, but weren’t sure how or where to start? This panel is for you! We’ll discuss strategies for choosing/designing a character & outfit, and putting together a costume (for both DIY & “I am 0% crafty” options!) Makeup Fandom 101 (mods: bessyboo, visionshadows) Do you not wear makeup because you find it intimidating, but would like to start? Are you a total makeup pro who loves to talk brands and share your knowledge? Maybe you're somewhere in between, but want to know how that person on tumblr achieved that super sweet eye look or particular nail art you loved. This panel is for all of you, as well as anyone else who wants to come talk everything from skin care to shadow to nail polish. (There may be a makeup swap at the end of the panel!)

[bigskydreaming]

So this is kinda a Bobby Drake post but its also kinda not because its more of a just in general musing on characterization and what distinguishes between a character being written as in character and as wildly OOC. So its actually rooted in a lot of Dick Grayson thoughts I’ve been having lately, as well as being relevant to some Scott McCall musings.

Its a Martha Stewart Home Living pot-pourri thingamabob! Something for everyone! I think. I don’t really know what pot-pourri is or even how to spell it and I don’t really know why the fuck I pulled a Martha Stewart reference out of my ass in the year 2019, like, none of these things are like any other thought I’ve ever had ever, like...who am I right now. Whatever. Shut up. My metaphor absolutely works and this isn’t just my brain on sleep deprivation. I like, totally get symbolism.

OKAY! RIGHT! ACTUAL CONTENT OF THIS POST:

So, the only adaptation Iceman’s had just a very minimal presence in was the 90s X-Men animated series. He only appeared in one episode, in one of the later seasons, and most people talk about that episode as though Bobby was wildly out of character because he told no jokes, yelled quite a bit, and told Scott to fuck off a lot, which is also what he did in a flashback scene to when he quit being an X-Man years before the show started, and retired from the hero life to settle down with Lorna.

Except the thing is, that episode is actually WAY more true to his overall characterization than Frosted Flakes in the X-films ever was, or also, pretty much any time Bendis writes him or other writers use him in similar ways to him - like that thing where Bobby stands in the background and says one-liners and also occasionally does something with his powers whilst monologuing about what he’s doing and how.

Because Bobby absolutely is that cheerful, determinedly optimistic heart of the team at a lot of times (sound familiar, lol)....but like.....he also historically has a decades long history of being written as the team hothead when for instance its just the original five and there’s not one of the X-Men’s other resident hotheads available to fill the role of the impulsive troublemaker who second guesses Scott’s decisions in order to make Scott actually think things through. Like the thing in the cartoon about Bobby quitting the team and storming off because he was fed up with Xavier constantly lying to them all and keeping secrets from them - that was lifted STRAIGHT from the original run of the comics, where he did precisely that, for precisely those reasons. Bobby was actually the X-character calling Xavier on his bullshit long before Scott started being written that way, ironically enough....

In fact, during Simonson’s original X-Factor run, it was pretty much ALWAYS Bobby filling that role going against the grain and questioning their official decisions and making everyone else think things through. Because at the time, Warren was pretty much entirely focused on his Archangel issues, Hank was dealing with his continuing physical mutations, that also had a side effect for awhile of giving him a host of mental health issues that interfered with his ability to reason through things as intelligently as he usually did....

And Scott and Jean were of course constantly getting bombarded with Sinister drama and trying to raise their kid except oh no, an evil fox person from a thousand years in the future has kidnapped him and infected him with Minecraft and now this giant asshole who looks like the bastard lovechild of a Transformer and a Smurf is quoting the Book of Revelations like he’s standing on a NY street corner wearing a sandwich board and ringing a damn bell. They all had shit going on, so it was actually Bobby who the kids staying with them (Rictor and Tabitha and Rusty and Skids and Wiz Kid) usually went to first when they had problems or like, Julio got kidnapped again or shit like that. 

Point being, there are many many instances and entire runs of different books between the 60s and the early 90s where Bobby is a happy go lucky jokester, its true....but he’s equally depicted as this guy who runs pretty hot and he’s not going to blindly follow orders that sound fucking dumb to him, he’s going to ask Scott to break it down for them or go back to the drawing board because “why are we pretending to hunt other mutants again and just leaning into the anti-mutant hysteria? Guys? Is it just me or does this all seem really fucking dumb and counter productive?” Like he makes jokes when he can afford to spare the spoons for that, but he knows how to be serious when the occasion calls for it.

Its just after the big Blue/Gold relaunch in the 90s, writers just....stopped writing him this way. But given that the cartoon was written and aired....in the early 90s....those previous decades of Bobby being written this way WERE the source material they were going off of at the time.

So that character most fans EXPECTED to see when they watched the cartoon in later years and saw he was guest-starring in an episode - like yeah, that is very much his characterization and always was.....on his good days. But like everyone (and certain other faves of mine, lmao) he has his bad days too, and guess what counts as a bad day? 

Coming home to find out that secret government agents have kidnapped your girlfriend and when tracking her down to rescue her discovering that no, wait, actually she was not kidnapped at all, that was a job offer and she accepted and just....did not tell her live-in boyfriend that hey, I’m gonna go be a superhero again but like...for the government which is completely the opposite but whatever, look the point is don’t freak out or think I was abducted or anything because that’s definitely not what happened here, I just dumped you and started dating my new team leader Havok and forgot where I put my Dear John letter. (You want to talk OOC in that episode, it wasn’t Bobby that was unrecognizable, it was Lorna).

But like, that’s a BAD FUCKING DAY. That’s a day where it would be utterly bizarre for Bobby to be acting the way he often does, like he doesn’t have a care in the world, trying to make light of situations and buoy spirits, which he can AFFORD to do, because usually he is not the central focus of big team-encompassing plots....its rarely him tied directly into the angst of the story, freeing him up to be the guy who focuses on making sure the morale of the teammates more directly affected by the angst doesn’t like....dip into the negative integers.

But you just flat out can’t do that with him in a story where THE ANGST IS ALL HIS, its CENTERED around him, because if he was right in the thick of all that and wisecracking and acting like this was any other mission, its no big deal....he’s going to come across as the world’s most immature, shallow and emotionally insensitive dumbass, because there is a time and a place for that, and that time and that place is not when you think your girlfriend has been abducted by the government and then find out that nah dude, she just disinvited herself from your relationships, whoops, sux2BU.

So if you take any given scene from that one episode and hold it up for comparison against say, a comic written in the last five years where he himself has relatively low stakes in whatever adventure he’s having.....those two characterizations are going to look COMPLETELY at odds. Like one or the other has to be WILDLY OOC because like, the two depictions seem like they’re depicting two entirely different men.

But they’re not. They’re just depicting one man in two entirely different contexts. We all take our cues from the situations we find ourselves in and our physical and social location and environments. We’re all totally different people on our best days than we are on our worst days. But these are all just....different facets of any given individual because we’re all fucking complicated little contrarians who often don’t even make sense to OURSELVES let alone outside perspectives. We each contain freaking multitudes. We are a million different things over the course of our life, and snapshots taken twenty years apart often are gonna look like we got a personality transplant between now and then...because we’re not MEANT to skip over twenty years of in between continuity and act like that doesn’t make all the difference in the world. The journey IS just as important as the destination.

And I guess the point of this particular post is that....IMO the key to strong characterization is recognizing that any character can theoretically be capable of just about any response or action or choice....in the right situation. None of us, no matter how well we know ourselves, can actually say we know for sure how we would react if suddenly dropped in a situation we had zero prior experience with. So I think where a lot of writers get turned around when writing characterizations is they go into a plot, an outline, a narrative, with their mind focused on the characterization they want to show, the way they want to depict a certain character.....instead of letting the situation, the scene, the narrative, inform that character’s actual characterization in this specific context.

If you try and FORCE a certain behavior with a character because you’ve rounded up and that’s the over-all characterization you personally enjoy best with that character, so that’s what you want to write....without fully taking into consideration how the stressors and other aspects of the situation they’re in that are UNIQUE to that situation, that are things they perhaps haven’t encountered before or dealt with often...and thus are things that would be MOST likely to prompt or provoke an unusual or more extreme response from a character than they would normally show in most other situations....that’s when characters get bent out of shape and end up most OOC, I think.

Because writers try and squeeze specific attitudes or reactions or behaviors out of characters caught up in a scenario where those attitudes are just....not appropriate responses to what’s happening around them. And thus they end up coming across as 2-Dimensional, more aggressive than the actual situation calls for, or more immature than the gravity of the actual situation warrants...they end up coming across like they’re a name card placed on top of a situation rather than a character immersed in all three dimensions and existing fully as PART of the situation...because the writers aren’t LETTING them. They’re not letting the character actually engage with what’s happening, react in the moment, have an unexpected response....because they’ve already decided what they want the character’s overall ‘feel’ to be before the actual situations were even written in the first place. 

And written like that, a character is never going to feel real. They’re always going to feel like an afterthought, like something hastily thrown on top of the otherwise completed project as a last minute addition you want to at least make sure is THERE because it just occurred to you that crap, I totally forgot to include this totally crucial element, and you don’t want it to seem like you just completely forgot that thing existed.....but that slapdash shot taken from halfway across the court when the buzzer’s already started ringing and you’re late to school with absolutely no more time to make changes...like....its still usually not gonna do anything to help improve your grade, because just because you threw it in at the very last possible second doesn’t mean that its presence is actually contributing anything to the entire project...especially not when compared to all the other elements you took your time thinking through and carefully integrating into their proper places.

[phantumpoftheopera]

Okay, here’s the LONG birthday post I was too busy to make over the weekend!

So while I was at work Thursday, three packages were delivered to me. I didn’t know who the first one was from, but I knew the other two were from Inry and Robert. I was planning on streaming Hiveswap when I got home so I was in a hurry and had to set up for the stream and also try to open the packages at the same time once I finally got home and in my room.

So I logged into Twitch first, then decided to open the boxes…and that was my first mistake, because after opening them I absolutely did not want to stream anymore, lol.

The first box was from Amazon and did not have a name attached, but it contained a VERY cute Alolan Vulpix plush, which I LOVE and need to give a name. I had to send a thank you not through Amazon in order to find out who it was from, and it was from Salem! Thank you so much, she’s the cutest!

The second package was from Robert, and I wanted to save the one from Inry for last. It was SUPPOSED to be just a card, since that’s what he original TOLD me it was. But it was actually a rather large box, so I opened that and read the beautiful, upside-down card first, which was signed by several of my wondertag friends! Thanks guys!

Then I went to see what the gift inside was…and I pulled out a Nintendo Switch box. My FIRST reaction was, of course, to be like “WHAT THE FUCK,” as several people can attest to, because I was reacting in real time in multiple servers and in a DM convo with Robert. Then my second reaction was to assume the box was holding something else and it was a fake-out. I put the box to the side for a second because I saw there was something smaller under the packing peanuts, and pulled out a Switch screen cover and Splatoon 2. So NOW my reaction was again “WHAT THE FUCK” because I am horrible, why would anyone get me a Switch??

Turns out that was purchased by Inry, Wynn, Sai, Cass, and Robert, and I was literally crying and I am crying right now thinking about it because holy shit, that is…so sweet, y’all, that’s so nice and I there was no way I was gonna be able to get one for myself. And I LOVE IT and I wanna go home and play right now.

Then I opened the third package, which was from Inry, which I also love! Inry’s card alluded to the Switch so I wish I had opened theirs first, lol, but oh well. I got some cute Love Live! Keychains, a Riko figure (my fave Aqours girl so yay!), some super cute socks, a pen, and Kinder chocolate.

So that was Thursday. I had to stream after that and Hiveswap was being a jerkface so I didn’t get to do that, but I DID finish my mystery egg run of Pokemon Sun!

Shiny also got me Persona 3 and Tales of Hearts R for the Vita!

Friday was my actual birthday, so I drove up to Maryland. I left around 12:30 and arrived around 5:30. We had dinner reservations for 6 at Olive Garden, so I picked up my mom and grandma and booked it there, arriving around 6:10. And I’m impressed I managed that considering I had to fit my mom, grandma, my mom’s wheelchair, AND my grandma’s walker in my car. For reference, my car is a fuchsia Mitsubishi Mirage. Color isn’t relevant, I just want you to know it’s fuchsia because it’s super cute. But VERY SMALL. Still, I managed to do it.

Boska and Rachel also hosted pokemon giveaways in honor of my birthday, which was awesome! I still need to pick those pokemon up. And April made me a super cute drawing of Gatomon!

We met my brother at Olive Garden, but somehow they lost our reservation. As an apology, the manager took 25% off our bill and gave us a free appetizer. Plus I got a free dessert! Tiramisu, mmmm!

I stayed at my grandma’s this weekend. Saturday was my best friend’s daughter’s birthday party so I went there, after stopping to buy her some books for her birthday. I got a 20% off educator’s discount because I work at a college, so that was cool. The party was at Discovery Station, a hands-on family-friendly museum in Hagerstown. It’s in a very old building and it smells like it, lol. But the kids had fun and there was some cool stuff there. We laughed about the Titanic replica having a picture of Jack and Rose at the bow of the ship.

I saw my other grandmother briefly on Saturday but I was tired so I went back to my grandma’s early. I played a little campaign mode in Splatoon 2 and also some Tales of Hearts R. I also played the Danganronpa V3 demo and fell in love with one character and that’s dangerous in this franchise.

Yesterday I hung out with my grandma some more and went through old pictures (you may have seen the ones I posted, lol) and took some with me because my grandma is worried no one will take them when she passes. I got home around 8 PM last night and FINALLY got to play Splatoon with Cass and Wynn. I also played a bit with Sai and Wynn this morning before work.

So YEAH it was a GREAT birthday. Oh also, a few days before my birthday I got the package containing a Pocket Sai (a Sableye they crocheted!) and chocolate from Sai and that was awesome!

So thanks everyone for making my birthday really great! My last two have been amazing, which more than makes up for like…15 years of awful birthdays, haha. It’s also my last one because I will never acknowledge turning 30 next year. I hate the number 3 and I can’t bear the thought of a decade of 3s.