#my fave color is not here cause has much as I love purple I wouldn’t start at it for hours bdksbzjsn

[yoohyeon]

I'll ask top 5 colors to see before I finally leave to sleep lol!!

(Bc I love seeing yellow, for example, but I wouldn't be caught wearing yellow)

Like visually pleasing ? I mostly love soft colors

1.baby blue / sky blue

2.Light turquoise

3.Mint green

4. Brown (mostly not dark brown but not light like half of the edits I make hdjsbdjs)

5.White

put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer ok go

[areminiscer]

This is long and has a trigger warning

This will seem all over the place because thats just how it’s come out-

I feel like this is fitting this year cause it’s been (nearly) 5 years. 5 years on the 14/11 ( 11/14 ). This day changed my life- so cliché.

Brief family history- my dad was a biochemist, my mum a nurse (and a few other jobs). Which seems to irrelevant now- they both worked there asses off. My dad is my favourite parent if you can have one, this is because me and my mum are stupidly similar so we’d bash heads a lot which would often leave me in tears and feeling really deflated. My brother has ADHD which is a pain because when he’s on a ‘war path’ it’s horrendous and why I can’t deal with shouting or sudden movements or anything being thrown in my directions (even tho im a great catch most the time)

So on this date 5 years ago my dad got told he had bile duct cancer. Which isn’t that common, however he wasn’t that worried cause it goes in stages and we thought it’d been caught early…. He was told he had stage 4 and had 6 months to live. i don’t remember much honestly but my main memory is being in the foetal position against the cold tiles in a boiling bath listening to ‘Somewhere in neverland’. My dad was put on chemo. So a ‘famous’ case of this cancer is the Guy who played Robbie rotten in lazy town who died after 2 years of fighting the cancer. My dad had always said that at my wedding he’d dye his beard purple, so because the reality of the cancer was he’d be dead by then he started colouring his beard – hes had blue, green, red, orange, purple, pink and turquoise.

So on the 9/11 (11/9) I had been at a gig, Mallory knox, blitz kids (still my faves) and the crooks. i don’t really remember much but I know that Mallory knox and blitz kids are two of my all time favourite bands due to the fact they ‘were there’ in some of my darkest moments.

~TRIGGER WARNING~ So this date also means its been 5 years of me self-harming and being very all over the place. I remember when my mum found out she didn’t even freak at me- she took me to the supermarket and brought me bandages and anti-septic and said I can’t stop you but I can at least prevent infection. She never once blew up in my face- except one time when it first happened and all I remember is I went to school crying. Anyway so 6 months later my dad gets told that the tumour is inactive.

Which is good but my self harm still is pretty bad due to going through a horrible time at school due to missing a lot because Family over Education – I have never once regretted this even if I’m ‘ 3 years’ behind my peers. I’m in a better place most the time ( don’t ever go off your meds for 3 months…) and have finally started planning my future- 15 year old me had planned to be dead by 20. During my exams my family and some friends went away but before that I had gone to a day festival with some friends and I’d become obsessed with a band called the color morale (who still to this day are amazing) and I’d been in a really bad place with fresh cuts. I was going to the color morale booth to buy a hoodie or something and the merch guy came over and it happened to be Garret Rapp the lead singer and he signed my notebook and gave me a hug, I remember calling my parents close to tears and them being really happy for me. I remember 2015 I got my exam results and I hadn’t done the best however I had done better than I’d expected- I got D’s in everything which is impressive considering I did no revision and my attendance was like 45%. I wasn’t told this till last year but my mum and dad were really worried they’d loose me due to how unhappy I was with everything.

Anyway flash forward to June/July 2016 guess what had come active again? You guessed it- back to chemo my dad goes. I don’t really remember this year at all. One thing I do remember is my dad became a ‘guinea pig’ for a new medical treatment called SIRT (I don’t know what it stands for). This is basically when they inject tiny radioactive beads into the location of the tumour and it’s meant to shrink it. Get me knowing fancy medical terminology.

All I remember is that he’d gotten the news after I’d had a great year and that I believed it was cause of that. I know that’s really shitty but I’m a firm believer in ‘ Everything happens for a reason’. It seems stupid but aye that’s what happened.

This whole thing triggered me to stop telling my parents I loved them until the beginning of this year.

More family history- My parents met in Zimbabwe. In 1990 I think? I’m not 100% sure on that.

2017- as a family we went to Zimbabwe with a charity where we built a school building, played football, swung sledge hammers and cuddled adorable babies. I think this is when it really hit me that when I feel at wrong bottom I let everything slip and just spiral out of control. But I was surrounded by people who had barely any money, hadn’t been paid in months, couldn’t afford basics, were sick and protecting their disabled children from men who’d take advantage of them. Yet they still laugh and sung with a massive smile while I was over here sat letting something bad ruin a month at a time. That autumn and winter I went on a massive spiral to the point my best friend and family weren’t sure I’d make it to 2018. Honestly Im not sure how I made it to 2018. My closest friend through out all of this and the girl who I can be 100% honest with- I remembered we’d been shopping or something and then we went and sat in McDonalds eating and we were chatting about mental health and all those fun things and I told her that I doubt I’d get married if my dad died.

2018 is a weird year cause while my dad’s cancer is still very much active (with secondaries which is shitty). I’ve found a love for life to an extent. While I can feel myself slipping a little I’m trying to keep going because I have so many plans. I turned 20 this year and while it’s not that exciting to most to think 5 years ago I was planning my suicide and wasn’t thinking about where I want to be in a years’ time but now I know where I want to be. In September I started my final year of College which seems amazing because of how far I’ve come looking back at the last 5 years and everything I’ve had thrown at me ( literally and figuratively). I also told my mum (while driving to see my grandparents) about my the fact that I wouldn’t get married if my died dad and I just couldn’t see anyone other than my dad with a purple beard walking me down the aisle. Im not one for traditional things- I hate turkey at Christmas for example- but my dad walking me down the aisle was always my dream and never changed. My mum told my grandparents and my grandad announced he’d walk me down the aisle.

It’s weird reading how far you have come in the last 5 years because you don’t really think about it but now seeing it in black and white im shocked.

[veganvenom]

Tagged by @spacestationtrustfund

Rules: answer these 85 statements & tag 20 people

the last:

1. drink: Tea. Always tea, although I was sensible tonight and made it decaf because I’m about to go to bed.

2. phone call: To my landlord, trying to sort out my water being shut off. It’s fixed now.

3. text message: If we’re counting by messenging apps in general then the last person I texted was my qpp Ollie about their art. If by sms specifically, then my husband telling him how cute he is.

4. song: Ying Li by Voodoo Kungfu.

5. time you cried: About a week ago, because I was having a bad day and was worried I’d messed up my relationships by being me.

have you ever:

6. dated someone twice: Yes. My asshole ex, who kept guilting me back. Don’t do it - if you broke up once already you are probably not going to work together.

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Only asshole ex actually. Everyone else I’m happy I kissed.

8. been cheated on: Did I mention my ex was an asshole yet?

9. lost someone special: Yes.

10. been depressed: On this stretch it’s been about a year so far.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Many many times. Less often now I’m older - my body generally gets tired too quickly to get that drunk any more.

favorite colors:

12. Purple. Specifically a darkish, bluish kind of purple.

13. Green. Forest green I guess?

14. Black I suppose, which is most of my clothes.

15. Red, for its revolutionary significance.

16. Blue because I’m running out of colours that I don’t dislike.

in the last year have you:

17. laughed until you cried: Yes. I have very funny friends, and both my partners love a good (terrible!) pun.

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes. Generally it’s been good.

19. met someone who changed you: Lots of wonderful friends! And especially one person <3

20. found out who your friends are: Yeah definitely. Though I don’t blame those who haven’t kept in touch now that I’m less fun and don’t have the spoons to chat much/often.

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: 5 or so I think.

22. made friends: So many lovely friends, probably including you if you’re reading this!

23. fallen out of love: Not this year thankfully, but I have done the opposite :)

general:

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Well that’s not so happy! I woke up to multiple tumblr hate messages from fashy blogs (not because it was my birthday - they just happened to coincide). Cried quite a bit because I didn’t understand why I was so upset (yes this is ridiculously circular!). Then had a handful of friends over for about two hours in the evening for a couple of quiet beers, but I was too sad to be social.

26. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them, maybe apart from one or two who I’ve added because we share multiple common interests.

27. do you have any pets: No, but I’d like to be able to adopt animals when I have more space.

28. what time did you wake up: This morning, it was about 7:45 I think. Though I was still too physically tired to get up until about midday.

29. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping! My meds have been good for helping me do that early most nights.

30. name something you can’t wait for: Being healthy enough that I can go back to and be enthused by my research.

31: what are you listening to right now: Ocean Land by Orphaned Land

32: have you ever talked to a person named tom: That is a very common name here, so of course.

33: something that’s getting on your nerves: Liberals saying that punching n*zis makes you just as bad as them.

34. do you want to change your name: In practice I changed it about 3 years ago, but I do intend to do it legally in the next year or so. The bureaucracy would be too much effort right now.

35. hair color: Purple, but faded so that it has bluish and greyish streaks.

36. long or short hair: Short hair definitely. Once I’ve been on T for a while I might consider growing it long again, but not before. I love it short.

37. piercings: Three in my upper ear.

38. tattoos: Not yet. I have a wishlist but negative money and social anxiety.

39. blood type: The most useless one.

40. nicknames: Don’t think I’ve had any in a while.

41. relationship status: Married to my cute nerdy husband and in a queerplatonic relationship with my cute nerdy best friend.

42. zodiac: I can’t remember.

43. pronouns: They/them. I’m so lucky to have surrounded myself mostly with friends who at least try to use these.

44. most visited website: Tumblr! Which is better than last year when it was either Facebook or The Guardian which both made me angry on a regular basis.

45. right or left handed: Right-handed.

46. surgeries: Only a couple of minor ones, both on my face though they didn’t manage to make it look good lol

47. sports: Kickboxing, though I’m no good at it.

48. favorite tv show: Black Sails. For goodness’ sake, watch it if you haven’t!

49. vacations: The week in the Highlands I spent with my husband.

50. sneakers: I do have a pair of trainers yes. They are cheap and vegan.

more general:

52. eating: Luckily I’m ok with food atm. Don’t have many stipulations other than it should be vegan and affordable. Hot helps too.

53. fave drink: Tea, duh.

54. what you’re up to: Trying to rest.

55. waiting for: My brain to get well enough to work again.

56. want: Motivation, energy, an international anarcho-socialist post-scarcity world

57. get married: Eloped and got married in a forest by an officiant who didn’t misgender me. Loved it.

58. career: No longer in academia, that’s for sure.

which is better:

60. hugs or kisses: I love hugs. I like kisses from my partners, but bises freak me the hell out I’m too working class British for that kind of thing!

61. lips or eyes: Eyes.

62. shorter or taller: I guess I would like to be a tiny bit taller, but I’m about average height for a human adult and that’s fine with me.

63. older or younger: I guess I was happier a year ago, but I wouldn’t give up the friends I have now, so I like this age.

64. nice arms or stomach: I don’t really know how to answer this. I guess equal?

65. hook up or relationship: Relationships.

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant, but I do so want to cause trouble.

have you ever:

67. kissed a stranger: I don’t think I have actually.

68. drank hard liquor: Too much.

69. lost glasses/contacts: I lose my glasses often, but have always found them.

70. turned someone down: Echoing Mochi with the having met straight men before...

71. sex on the first date: Yes, but I prefer sex and then deciding to date while in bed afterwards.

72. broken someone’s heart: Yes, but I’m not sorry.

73. had your heart broken: Yes, but it’s stronger now for it.

74. been arrested: Actually no, not yet! Cautions only. This just tells me I’m not doing enough tbh.

75. cried when someone died: Yes.

76. fallen for a friend: SO many times. And apart from the straight ones they’ve been good choices.

do you believe in:

77. yourself: Not generally. I do the best I’m capable of and if I fuck it up that’s about what I expected, and if I don’t then that’s great.

78. miracles: No.

79. love at first sight: No. That’s not what love is.

80. santa claus: No, and I don’t have memories from when I was young enough to have believed.

81. kiss on the first date: Yeah. Though none of my relationships have ever really followed the ask-on-date, go-on-date, go-on-second-date, etc. model.

82. angels: No.

other:

83. current best friend’s name(s): Ollie

84. eye color: Green.

85. favorite movie: The Legend of Fong Sai Yuk.

Tagging @eldritchsqurriel, @buildarocketboys, @amiedelabaisse, @wanttodrawmothsfrommemory, @synchronysymphony, @prettypettypansexual, @scouse-jesus-vikingson, @everyoneinspaceisgay, @thequeerkingdom, @acemummerz, @c3rn, @attercop-attercop, @do-a-saving-roll, @iamamathmagician, @willowveild, @jackaalope, @blooming-rivers, @luthienlight, @deprofundisresurgam, @jehnt. Feel free to ignore your tag - it was hard to get to 20.

[stylessemantics]

30 Q’s with Iv

Heyooo it me again. I was tagged by the lovely @queenmestyles and I have to say after reading through her answers I was in shock. It’s uncanny how many of her answers could also be MY answers to the same questions so little Queen get ready to read your own answers back lol. 

1. Nicknames?

I have none. My mom calls me cookie and literally no one has come up with a good enough nickname to my crappy name. My name’s just hard to nickname. My friend andrea calls me Nana for some reason and @legend-waitforit-harry is in the middle of calling me Pink Banana which I’m not complaining about lol. Iv isn’t even a thing so...

2. Gender?

Je suis une femme. (why am i trying to speak french?)

3. Star Sign?

Virgo. (VIRGANG)

4. Height?

5’6 which im glad that I finally discovered. Is there a way to make me smaller? 

5. Time?

10:30 AM

6. Birthday?

September 14, 1995

7. Favorite bands?

Well: One Direction, The 1975, LANY, The Beatles, JOURNEY, NSP, The Kooks, The Strokes, The Vaccines, Tame Impala, Coldplay, Maroon 5, Tower of Power, Earth Wind and Fire. Foster The People. Gorillaz, Hall and Oates. Cage The Elephant. DNCE, Daft Punk AND MANY MANY MANY MORE.

8. Favorite solo artists?

Harry Styles well duh, Prince, BØRNS, Dua Lipa, Demi Lovato, Michael Buble, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Dylan Gardner, DEAN, Zico, Jordan Gable, Bruno Mars. Nick Jonas. Ella Fitzgerald. George Benson, The Weekend. THERE’S A LOT. 

9. Song stuck in my head?

20/20 by The Vaccines IT’S SUCH A FUCKING BOP I RECOMMEND SO HARD ITS ON MY “songs i wish i had written/want to play live” playlist

10. Last movie you watched?

Wonder Woman

11. Last show you watched?

The Good Place or Jane The Virgin. Just got into the good place and had to catch up on Jane, now all i have left is to catch up on Riverdale

12. When did you create your blog?

July 10th 2016. I had another blog before that but never posted on it and then created this from scratch after being inspired by some of my awesome mutuals to write!

13. What do I post?

I reblog a lot, I ramble a lot and mostly Harry Styles related things, and I post a lot of, “PLEASE TALK TO ME” and ask lists because I’m desperate for interaction hah, hah. I’m just lonely.

14. Last thing I googled?

I can’t tell you without giving up personal information so lets go with the thing before that which were Alphabet Aerobics Lyrics.

15. Do you have any other blogs?

Yes i do................. :)

16. Do you get asks?

I HAD THIS DEBATE THE OTHER DAY CAUSE I ACTUALLY DONT GET MANY ASKS OR AS MANY AS I WOULD LOVE TO I JUST LITERALLY JOINED TUMBLR FOR THE INTERACTION AND I DONT REALLY GET MUCH WHICH MAKES ME SAD BUT AT THE SAME TIME I KNOW I DON’T DESERVE IT SO WHEN I DO GET A RANDOM ASK I GET FUCKING PUMPED AND ON THE VERGE OF HAPPY TEARS SO. EXCUSE MY PETTINESS. 

17. Why did you choose your url?

I wanted something cool and like funny. Wanted like a word related to harry and then his last name but that didn’t work out so i went with something that i think is basic to languages and slapped it together. It also has a good ring to it and I didn’t hate it meaning I knew I wouldn’t suddenly want to change my URL a week into it which would be a burden.

18. Following?

Not enough people! Recommend me stuff!

19. Followers?

A lot fucking more than I deserve that’s for sure. Like 10 times more.

20. Favorite colors?

Blues, Purple, Green. 

21. Average hours of sleep?

I’m just a sad anxiety filled full time daughter who’s just finished college and hasn’t really found a job nor decided what to do with her life after her internship is over. So.... give or take 5-7 hrs? I also binge watch youtube and fall asleep late.

22. Lucky number?

I do not have one.

23. Instruments?

I play ukulele, a little bit of guitar, a little piano and drums, and I sing and write. My parents are full time musicians and I’ve grown up in a music filled home/family/environment and even though im a disappointment cause I don’t play any of these instruments fully, I’m literally alive thanks to music. 

24. What am I wearing?

a burgundy sweater, jeans and burgundy shoes. But to add something sexy I do have a burgundy bralette underneath lol.

25. How many blankets do I sleep with?

Just one but it’s like fluffy and sorta thin. It’s too warm over here to sleep with it but I love it. When it’s EXTRA WARM i do just a thin sheet. 

26. Dream job?

Concept Creation, Art Direction, Music Video Making, Cinematographer, Illustrator. Music Producer. Singer Songwriter. (these are all titles I dream to have even tho it’s a REACH)

27. Dream vacation?

I would say England but the plan is to LIVE there, not just vacation. So let’s do Brazil (specifically the south and North-east) and Iceland. 

28. Favourite food?

Fuck. This is dumb but I really do love cereal. Like... It’s silly for sure but I have no problem eating it for breakfast and dinner everyday. I also love Italian food and sushi and sweets. I just really like food, can’t pick faves. I FUCKING LOVE OREOS.

29. Nationality?

Earthling.

30. Favourite song right now?

IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO CHOOSE. This will change by the minute.

---------------------

So… I tag: @mixed-with-intellect @narrymccartney @icanseeyourholo @cuddlemusclestyles and @stylesinthewild :)

[3d-dragon]

STORY INFLUNCE GRID by one of the mods at @badcharacterdesign​

Basically want inspires me as a whole, but they fit better like this.

THis is the other one, which is MUCH shorter

Stained Glass ,  Art Deco, and Gothic Cathedrals - These are being grouped together cause simply, I like them, and they inspire the looks of my style and such. They, along with water color, pastels, etc, and bright coloful patterns are main drives into my art. {in fact, if the bright colorful patterns are like stained glass or art deco its even better in my book}

Angels - I used Dr Who angels since they are the closest to real angels I can find that people know about.  [Honestly the only sorta good thing made by the current dude of Dr. Who BUT EVEN THEN HE FUCKS IT UP].  This is sorta self explainitory, but honeslty, these and the first 3 are just pretty much the core of my aim with art..

Undertale -  Howdy! Undertale is one of the best games with the best character designs and characters.  Its story is strange, but good, and the visuals are amazing. Personally I like Flowey and Asgore the most...after temmie of course.....plus it has a GREAT soundtrack. It even has a decent fandom, which is nice. [Now if only ships I didn’t like weren’t popular....] ANYWAY, its a good game, and really is a decent game.

Pokemon - POKEMON IS AWESOME!!! It was the first TV show and game series I ever played. Pokemon is wholesome, but does need to change it up....but not with mega evolutions....or z moves....ich.... Anyway will say my fave character of all time is Ash, and his pal, Pikachu, who are an amazing duo.

Spyro the Dragon - LOVE IT. The concept art is awesome and the game was awesome too. I wish they would go back to his original design [I have nothing against skylanders....its just spyro’s design is awful and looks painful]. It was spyro here that got me liking dragons, and is the iconic purple dragon who is both cute and mischievous.

Inuyasha - One of the first anime’s I ever watched, I really love the characters in this anime, as well as some of the demon designs. Inuyasha is an amazing character, and is probably one of the key roles that inspired my human like OC, Leon!.

The Skybox - An amazing  comic that is like an animatic, I really enjoy this comic and its style. It inspired me on how I would do certains comics of my own, and honestly you should read it if you like mythical critters!

Nature and Biology - I put a biology artwork of a clover here since both Nature and Biology are a big influnce to me. I really love nature, its an amazing thing that just brings me peace when ever I am troubled. The same can go with Biology, which is the study of life. Biology is my prefered science field, and one day I hope to have a degree in it. Learning how life works is so amazing to me, and is just so key to me as well. Biology, hell with science alone, its just another way to see how beautiful nature and life is, as well as understand it as well.

Weird Hyenas/ Kuros - Its abit odd putting a person here, but I sorta feel abit of kinship with them. We both have original speices that started in a fandom trying to explain a little thought of thing.  Seeing them work hard on their speices makes me work hard on my angels. And yes, while offically now the angels are their own thing, its important to remember their origin.  Weird Hyenas alsogot me back into drawing dragons after so much time just drawing angels [and boy does it show], and without them and the Kuros I wouldn’t have one of my fave dragons ever; Goldie.

Bio Mecha/hydrothrax - I have ALWAYS loved mecha, especially bio mecha. A fusion of machine and fleash, its always just makes me awe at it, and with how hydrothrax does this, it just makes me love it more. I love this dude’s art, and it inspires me greatly. 

[survivorathena-allstars]

Tribal Council #3 - Vireao

Welcome, Vireao, back to Tribal Council. 

The hosts have had a very busy day and were not able to come up with questions. However, you decided to come up with your own. Here they are:

What are your favorite colors. Also, how tall are you. And probably most importantly: what do you put in the bowl first… cereal or the milk?

Ali - My favourite colours are orange, brown, navy and dark green. I'm actually weirdly tall (6'1), just look for pictures of those inflatable things outside car dealerships to see a real picture of me... I'm also not a monster, I would never pour milk in first

Ashvika

Charlotte - well hello there! my favorite colours are red, purple, and black. i’m also 5’9ish and i put the cereal in the bowl first because that’s what people do!!!!

Duncan -  well if I had to be open with everyone about it I guess I would have to say my favorite color is silver but ENIRAMAUQA is a close second. I believe I’m 6 foot 2 and although it may target me I do out in the milk before the cereal. WHO WANTS SOGGY CRONCHES!?

Emily - Hi! My favorite color is green but I also love yellow! I’m 5’7. I feel a lot shorter though. And, like a normal human being, I put my cereal in the bowl before I pour my milk.

JD - Greens, blues, and purples are my faves.... I'm like... 5'5 -5'6, something like that. Annnnnd definitely cereal first, because Im not touching my cereral before so eat it and what if you don't put in enough cereal to malk rato, you could go and fuck it all up.

Ruthie - Hello! My favorite colors are pink, orange, yellow and black!  I am 5'8 and I put the cereal in the bowl first.  I mean, think about it, if the milk goes in first wouldn't the cereal make it go everywhere?  I don't want to clean up any extra messes!! 

Sam - Hey, thanks for the questions! My favorite colors are green and blue. I'd pick a sea foam green as my favorite specific type. I'm 5'11 3/4" which makes me very upset a lot of the time. I asked for an extra 1/4" for christmas this year, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I do the RIGHT thing and put the cereal in the bowl first, thank you.

Zach - My favourite colour(s) are either orange, purple or green. I’m indecisive and it varies time to time!!! I am 5’8 and I have the RIGHT opinion of putting in the cereal first. Thank you.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Nobody Stands

Alright, once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately. I’ll read the votes.

.

.

.

.

First Vote:

I’ve gotta go my own way

Second Vote:

i’m very sorry that we actually didn’t talk. at all. i wish that i could have played this game with you, but maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

Third Vote:

We just haven’t talked all that much, but I’m sure you’re a super sweet guy!!

That’s 2 votes Sam, 1 vote Ruthie 

Fourth Vote:

i'm really sorry! we haven't connected at all and  i know that's partly my fault.

Fifth Vote:

Cause of Death:Shrek 

That’s 4 votes Sam, 1 vote Ruthie

Sixth Vote, and the 3rd person voted out of Survivor Athena All Stars is..

I did not want you out and wanted to work with you so badly. Unfortunately the tribe wanted you out and I want a strong tribe moving forward. Love you xoxo

Seventh Vote:

hey now, you’re an allstar x

Eighth Vote:

Ninth Vote:

Sam, the tribe has spoken.

Well, Vireao, another unanimous vote. Let’s see how long this big happy family lasts. Grab your torches, head back to camp.

[survivorsentinelislands]

EPISODE 8: IS IT REALLY BACKSTABBING IF I WAS NEVER ACTUALLY WORKING WITH YOU? ~Keegan

John's out. Fuck.

And the first thing Logan says is "JOSH <3" like bitch I've been working Josh and he knows you were working him over pre-swap like the manipulative person you are. You've literally gotten out all my friends and I'm not about to let it happen again.

Omg! We merged! I'm so happy! I have 2 strong 5 person alliances (3 of the same people in both) I'm in a damn good spot

darians being messy messy messy!

adding like 80 people to alliances and making some is gonna do nothing but put a target on his back, but he'll be a nice shield.

i dont know how i wanna move forward, but darian, sam, and ned seem favorable? i love logan but i know logan and darian arent rlly friends so theyll target each other. who knows. i just hope im in a good position.

LMAO PLUS I TOOK THE IDOL CLUE NVM i dont need to worry about voting, but i want immunity and an idol hopefully

Finally a merge! This has been a long time coming! A lot of interesting things have been happening and it's only been a couple hours.

First, the Old NuAnadaman now has an alliance chat. DARIAN, ALEX, JOSH, CARSON and myself are all part of it, which is super awesome.

Then there's the Old Andaman alliance chat, with SAM, NED, DARIAN, CARSON and myself.

And I talked with SAM who's in an alliance chat with SARA, DAISY and LOGAN.

That's literally every person in the game I have some sort of connection with. Like holy crap, when does that ever happen?? For the time being, I'm not on anybodies hit list. Which is fantastic but also having connections to everyone means that no matter who I vote for, someone is going to be upset. That's not necessarily a bad thing, particularly in the case of SARA, DAISY, LOGAN, ALEX or JOSH. I've never had an actual alliance with them, so I won't feel bad backstabbing any or all of them. Is it really backstabbing if I was never actually working with you?

SAM and NED are the only two people in the game I won't backstab. SAM in particular since we've been decently close since the very beginning. That would make a fine final 3.

What I need to consider is how to get us there, without causing suspicion from other people, DARIAN in particular. He has an idol, and just gave up his vote at the next tribal for an idol clue, so he could potentially have two idols going forward.

Ideally, I'd like to vote out JOSH or ALEX next. While that will unfortunately give SARA, DAISY and LOGAN a bit more power, it also ensure that the original Andaman have a clear lead. After that we can pick off people one by one.

I'm starting to think too far ahead and that's not great.

Whew. So merge happened. I'm excited to see what happens next. I'm glad John is gone, he really had to go. Especially since at this last tribal he kept throwing out everyone's names. We heard him say everyone except for Sam. Now I'm excited to get the game going. I'm nervous people might see Logan and I as a threat since we have such a strong alliance and since we gained a bit of power after Logan played their idol near the beginning of the game. Also, our alliance w the rest of our tribe isn't as strong as it is just between the two of us and I feel like people like Sam and Sara could easily switch, especially since Sara has voted against us in the past. But I'm going to try to stay positive. Logan and I are bringing each other to the end, and I think we can get there.

An interesting choice has arisen. LOGAN, SARA and DAISY are a tight threesome, and they believe SAM is on their side. They are either targeting ALEX or DARIAN. Now, ideally they would target ALEX and he would be gone, giving the OG Andaman's the majority lead. However, it's looking like they might want to go after DARIAN.

So SAM and I brainstormed some plans, where the OG Andaman all vote ALEX, which would give five votes to him, probably three or four votes to DARIAN and maybe one or two to LOGAN, sending ALEX home. However, DARIAN told me he got the idol clue, which means his vote will be randomized at tribal.

Unless one of LOGAN, DAISY or SARA grabbed the idol clue as well, our plan might not work out too great. It could end up being a four-four tie between DARIAN and ALEX. I'm not sure we could gather the support to get out ALEX on the revote.

So I guess as it currently stands, we either need to vote out LOGAN or hope DARIAN wins immunity so we can actually get the numbers to vote out ALEX. I think no matter where the votes fall, I'll be safe for a while. I've got a good safety net with SAM, NED and DARIAN.

Also, my original plans of being a villain are probably going to be set aside for a little while, maybe until another game. I'm in too good of a position to throw it all away trying to be sneaky.

BITCHES I MADE JURY /AGAIN/ IM HERE FOR IT. Buttttt I'm going to win. So darian straight up asking me in class if im going for him is SUS as FUCK. But idc! I said maybe and he told me "lol alex said you wouldn't trust him lol" and stuff like that and was like "lol wish i could say the same" when i only said maybe to me going after him? Like

bitch

ofc im going tf after you. im here to win, and you are violent and rude and im not taking a lower placement than a messy playa like yOU

DARIAN shared the immunity idol clue with me. I'm kind of surprised he did but I guess he thinks we're ride or die together. I'm not going to complain or correct him; it's nice to have people wanting to go to the end with me.

Looking in the forest was highly unsuccessful, maybe next time I'll find something good. I still have my extra vote to use. I may end up using it at this coming tribal, depending on how it looks like the votes are going to go. I'd rather save it for a while though.

The immunity challenge is a flag making challenge, which is pretty awesome in my opinion. I like making things. I've already got one draft of a flag done, I'll sit on it for a few hours and see how I feel about it later tonight. It's not due for another day and a half so there's plenty of time.

Winning immunity would be great. My name probably isn't going to come up at all, so it's not like I need it but on the off chance this coming vote turns to rocks, I'll be safe. Plus who doesn't want to win immunity?

Okay whew, merge happened! Thanks Drew, my fave sadistic bastard <3 Unfortunately, first immunity is flag making and uh I'd rather fuck myself with glass. IM COLORBLIND. DREW INFORMS ME THE COLOR IS DARK BLUE AND TO JUST WORK WITH THAT AND IM LIKE DREW PLEASE, BLUE IS GRAY AND GREEN IS PUKE AND AND PURPLE IS DUSKY RED. DONT DO THIS TO ME. RUDE.

Anyway I'm gonna lose and go home byyyyeeee

Well, I lost the immunity challenge, which I don't think is a huge deal. But unfortunately, ALEX won which kind of is a big deal.

SAM told me that LOGAN and DAISY both want DARIAN out, which sucks since along with SARA that's a guaranteed three votes going to DARIAN. It's possible that JOSH is in on that plan as well pushing it to four votes.

Since DARIAN gave away his vote for an idol clue, that means the SAM, NED, CARSON and myself have to stick together to potentially tie the other foursome. We could probably get ALEX on our side quite easily, pushing that to five but I really don't want to have to rely on ALEX.

I talked with LOGAN as well, and if they're to be believed, we have a mutual agreement to not vote each other this tribal. Do I trust them? With SAM's info, yeah I do. At least for this tribal.

The one good thing about this situation is that Darian does have a hidden immunity idol. It may be in his best interest to play it this vote, just to be safe. Whether or not he trusts me enough to listen to my advice.... well that remains to be seen.

So basically, Darian is the target of everyone from Nicobar tribe, plus Josh who has flipped to us. Darian thinks that I was an outsider pre-merge, and that the last vote came between me and John, and that I'm lucky to be here, etc. He also thinks Logan has an idol, so they're probably gonna try to flush it and split the votes. He thinks I'm voting for Logan, and now he's trying to convince Logan to flip and vote for me, since he thinks that them and everyone else from Nicobar doesn't like me. It looks like old Andaman is trying to split the vote between Logan and I in order to flush the idol, and then get one of us out. What we really need is to know that Sara is still 100% with us. She's being very quiet, which makes me nervous. She only ever speaks in the tribe chat and not in the alliance chat, despite it saying that she's been active very recently. Which makes me wonder if she's already flipped. If she has, at best they split it between Logan and I and then its 3 - 3 - 4, and Darian is still gone but we can't trust Sara. At worst, Sara tells them that Logan and I are a strong alliance, and they go 6 - 4 and I'm gone. So basically, the outcome of this next tribal comes down to Sara, who hasn't answered my messages in a while. Fuck.

I have missed Keegan so much

Also Darian is literally a dumbassjflkjhfsd

I literally can't believe how dumb he is

Like I have seen crappy game play

And I have seen some dumb ass moves

And plenty of times when you just think "why would you say that?" But man I have NEVER seen anyone this stupid

If we had the extra numbers I would just say deal with it and let his ass go

Idol in his pocket and everything

But we don't

So I must deal

whew honestly

Just so you know

Also Darian Blows my mind

Like I know just went on about how dumb he is

But he got dumber

Ok.

Yay we are at final 10

Alexander won immunity. And right off the bat things got weird

Daisy approached me about needing to find a person to vote for because she on the outs of her old tribe But she has to vote by 6pm. So I told her Logan I started planning against Logan Until Logan approached me to start planning against daisy So I'm confused

Then Ned and Sam tell me that they are going to go with the nicobar people and convince them to vote me out. So I'll be able to play my idol and be able to take out one of their key players

And they will stay trusted for another week which will help us make our moves.

So I just told the hosts that I am playing my idol on myself

So I'm going to be the first to say

Congrats on a guaranteed f9 woooo no one else feels as safe as i do

I don't even know what is going to happen but it's not be

I'm also not voting thanks to that idol clue

Ugh

Tonight's going to be interesting

well this round has been crazy so far! darian makes 83 alliances and goes insane.

____

logan's apparently saying my name soooo fuck that

____-

logan walked

As bad as it seems, Logan quitting wasn't that bad. They tried to mend things with me; they stated that they wanted Nehe out because he wouldn't refer to them by their preferred pronouns. I'm using them to be respectful but I've never liked they/them because it's gramatically weird and that's the only reason.

I did win immunity, and it was cut short by Logan quitting. But I definitely redeemed myself with the flags from the first episode :P So I can die happy.

LOGAN has walked from the game due to personal reasons. I hope everything is okay with them. Even though I didn't have any intention of actually working with them, they were a lovely person to talk with. I wish them all the best in whatever they're dealing with.

However, they also makes this game a little bit easier. We no longer have to worry about this clusterfuck of a tribal. I honestly have no clue what was even going on with it. Half the tribes names were coming up and people were switching votes and wanting to play idols.

It would have been interesting to see what would have happened but at least OG Andaman has the majority. We can potentially ride this all the way to final 5.

I already miss Logan crying irl

I'm so shook that I made merge in a game that I didn't know I was playing until it started

im sorry