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fizzyxcustard · 4 years

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Fear and Loathing (4)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

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Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references/smut mention, age difference/gap.

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. This is practically a dead fandom now, but I would still like to share my writings with you. If you would like to ask any questions, then by all means just ask! People are probably wondering why I’m still continuing this fic when it gets so little feedback, but it’s purely because I enjoy writing it. It’d a pleasure to be reminiscing in old times.

That night, while you remained in the Med Bay, the mess hall seemed to begin hosting a midnight coffee refreshment for a handful of crew. Lonnie Henderson wandered into the room, drying the sweat from her brow and neck after waking suddenly from a nightmare of being suffocated by unseen hands. She saw Jim Brody sat with his head in his hands, and one of the engineers was resting with their eyes closed and their feet up on a chair.

“Tough night?” Lonnie asked, approaching Brody.

He gasped suddenly, nearly jolting out of his chair. “Yeah….ugh…..sorry,” he grumbled, and rubbed his face, trying to force himself more fully awake.

“What’s going on tonight?” Lonnie asked. “No one can sleep and everyone is on edge.” She then said your name and her eyes widened. “Do you think it’s got anything to do with her and the virus?”

“I doubt it,” Brody scoffed. “A virus that gives panic attacks and nightmares?”

“Come on, Jim. We’ve seen things more unbelievable than that in the last two years. We’ve contacted aliens and come face to face with Greek gods, yet we can’t believe that a virus may exist which causes panic and fear?”

Lucas remained in the Med Bay that night, falling asleep next to your bed. The gentle beeping of the monitors swept him into a dream. There was water, screams and fear. They were your screams; begging him for help. Lucas only remembered the cold water and your screams as he jerked awake.

Your eyes were open and you were smiling at him. “You okay? Have a bad dream?” you asked, yawning. You felt groggy, but strangely content, especially upon seeing Lucas.

He rushed to you, cupped your cheek and then kissed you softly. But gradually the kiss grew deeper, and hotter, until he pulled away. “How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Just tired,” you replied.

“Do you want me to get you anything?”

“Can I have a cold drink, please? Soda, milk, water. Just something cold.”

Lucas left the room and you pulled yourself up slowly. A thumping headache began in your temples and behind your eyes, a sure sign of tension and stress that you knew all too well.

***

The next two days saw more crew visiting not only the mess hall at night but the Med Bay, asking for advice on nightmares and panic attacks. Even Captain Hudson had noticed that he seemed more on edge of late. There were far too many crew affected now for it not to be noticeable and not be a problem that needed addressing.

Jonathan Ford and Tim O’Neill, along with a couple of the engineers, Dagwood, the chief cook and the doctor himself, were the only people who seemed to be unaffected. Every other person was showing symptoms, to varying degrees, of fear, panic and dread.

On the third day of you being in the Med Bay, a mild sedative still in your system to calm the nightmares you were having a night, you were awoken to Lieutenant Fredricks being pulled into the room by Brody and O’Neill.

“Please, don’t. They’ll run experiments on me,” she wept, pulling against the two men either side of her.

The screams had pulled you out of another beckoning nightmare with the visiting shadow demon, who sometimes came to you at night and stood at the foot of your bed. All of the noise and commotion shook you to the core, causing a shockwave of anxiety to race through you like a power surge. But your concern for your comrade still trumped the fear you felt.

“Freddie?” you called to her. She continued weeping uncontrollably as Brody and the doctor held her down on the bed, ready to administer a sedative. “Freddie? You’ll be okay. I promise. They won’t hurt you.” You slipped out of bed, almost falling in your weakness, and you took her hand in yours. “Shhh, it’ll be okay.”

The feel of your hand in hers, and your kind words, soothed Fredricks as the sedative was administered by the doctor.

“How can she feel so much fear when she has an implant?” Brody asked.

“The virus is somehow overpowering every other emotion in those who are the worst affected,” the doctor replied. “I don’t think the sedatives, long term, will be enough. The UEO still has no idea what’s causing this. They’re requesting blood works be sent of each crew member who is affected, which is over eighty per cent. I don’t know if I can get that many reports sent over all at once in the time frame they’re asking for.”

“How long are they asking for, Doc?”

“A week. I’ve only got the capacity to run five blood samples every twelve hours. That’s ten every twenty-four hours, and there are well over a hundred crew affected by this. If this gets worse, we may have to abandon the tour and return to land to fully hospitalise and test everyone. And we don’t know how contagious this is or where it came from.”

By the end of the week, the Med Bay was full. Most of the crew were utterly exhausted through lack of sleep due to night terrors. Frequent fights were breaking out over mundane issues. The latest fight had been when Tony Piccolo had had the last croissant at breakfast, pissing off an engineer. A broken nose and black eye later, Tony found himself in the Med Bay for a couple of hours.

You still kept dreaming of the shadow demon, and often you huddled under the covers, hiding from him, just in case he appeared at the end of your bed again. The fear seemed to come in waves; you would be peaceful for a few hours and then suddenly feel the panic rise and see the shadow at the end of your bed, set with glowing eyes and saliva dripping from sharp fangs. Nights were horrendous as that’s when the most fear came out to play and it hung over you all like a thick mist. Fredricks often woke screaming in the bed next to you. The engineer in the bed opposite you had had regular seizures. Thankfully, you had only had one.

The milder cases meant that crew had to continue working, despite being exhausted. Jonathan Ford felt as though he had had no sleep in a week. Every waking moment and he was on the bridge, taking the helm for part of it while Hudson tried to ward off the anxiety that was beginning to get the better of him. Tim O’Neill hadn’t seen his quarters in days, and was often found most nights dozing off in his seat on the bridge. Dagwood had even offered to help, but his kind offer was politely rejected.

Captain Hudson had been having regular talks with Secretary McGath, and it was now becoming a viable option to abandon the tour and return to shore. However, this virus was still unknown, and the UEO would have to make sure that strict quarantine procedures were put in place once the seaQuest returned to its berth. Crew would not be able to disembark immediately. McGath reassured Hudson that everything that could be done by the UEO was being done. The blood samples were being tested; each crew member, one by one, even those who were not affected and weren’t showing symptoms. Some were being tested multiple times. Even full genome scanning had now begun to try to pinpoint some kind of link to all those affected. The UEO had already received the sub’s black box recordings, knowing exactly where it was at any given time. No other infections had been reported in the waters recently visited.

Lucas lay in his bunk, listening to Tony’s snores from below. The snores had been louder and more obnoxious since his broken nose. Lucas was scared to sleep. Dark circles were beginning to frame his blue eyes, marring his pale complexion. Every evening and he visited you, sitting with you for a couple of hours. He would read to you, trying to soothe your nerves. But Fredricks’ outbursts would put you on edge and Lucas knew that any kind of relaxation was impossible. Whenever he closed his eyes, Lucas would see the water and hear you calling for him. It all felt so real, maybe too real.

The hallways were quiet, but then he would feel the energy buzzing from the mess hall, which was usually full of half dozing crew. Should he go for a wander tonight? Maybe a swim with Darwin would help. Or would the water only exacerbate the dreams?

He didn’t know how long he lay awake, but Lucas looked up at the pipes which ran above his bunk. He looked at the photo of you both which he had taped to the metal. You had your eyes open wide, shocked, whilst Lucas was gritting his teeth, pretending to be angry. He remembered fondly all the staged photographs that Tony took of you both whenever you were on shore leave back when Captain Bridger was aboard. There was such a happiness and peace amongst the crew. He remembered when Jim Brody had attempted to flirt with you once or twice, for him only to be scoffed at. Flirting had never impressed you. Humour and compassion impressed you.

He missed you so much, and slowly he turned over, pulling a pillow to his chest, trying to imagine it was you. To think that Lucas had been prepared to give up his place on seaQuest when he met Sandra just over a year ago. She had deceived him, pretending to interested in a relationship, when she only wanted the emergency codes to gain access to seaQuest. And now he was with you. It was a much, much deeper connection, that ran right through to his bones. It had become a dependency on you, a need, and considering that you were the one who had taken his virginity, that made everything so much stronger. Even though he had always had a crush on you since your first meeting, his very brief relationship with Sandra helped him forget the unrequited feelings he had for you. But then they came back even stronger. You had been the one to pick up the pieces of his broken trust that she had left behind.

Lucas lay awake, his eyes stinging with fatigue. Until finally he jumped down from his bunk and wondered out into the hallway, venturing towards your quarters. He just wanted to be close to you in some way, even if only sleeping on your bed.

The room smelled of you, sweet and flowery. And as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him, Lucas smiled to himself. There was a small stack of books on your desk with a pot of pens, all alongside your computer. A potted, ornamental plant and two matching china owls decorated the desk.

On your bed was your favourite patchwork quilt and on the wall were photos and little drawings that you had doodled. Lucas looked closer at the photos, recognising a few of you both with other members of the crew on shore leave. Then there were pictures of you with people whom he had never seen before, no doubt old friends or family members.

Lucas lay on your bunk and wrapped himself in your quilt, inhaling. He immediately felt warmth radiate through his chest and stomach, easing the tension. Exhaustion made it impossible for him to stay awake any longer, and gradually he fell into a deep sleep.

The dream changed; it was no longer water, but darkness. A light shone in the distance, a faint candlelight and when he got closer to it, he saw that he was standing in an empty garden. A candle, resting in a glass jar was upon the grass. He picked up the candle and began to walk, following a pathway. The whole place was empty, quiet and dark. The feeling of being so alone made Lucas’ heart speed up, pounding like a drum in his chest. Where was everyone?

He began to call, hoping someone would answer. But nothing. No one was there. Everyone had deserted him.

With a gasp, Lucas woke suddenly. He wiped his cheek, only to feel a tear clinging to it.

***

Captain Hudson reluctantly agreed for UEO officers to come aboard seaQuest in two days’ time to begin the gradual emptying of the sub of all crew. The crew would be taken to a contained quarantine facility in Florida whilst tests were still being carried out and their symptoms could be monitored closer.

Secretary McGath’s image dominated Hudson’s screen in his quarters. “Captain, it’s obvious that the crew aren’t recovering from this virus, whatever it is, and bringing the seaQuest into berth could possibly cause a contamination of the coastlines.

“So you’re saying that the boat has to be left out here in the middle of the Atlantic with no crew aboard?” Hudson asked in disbelief.

“Oliver, what else do you propose we do? The biggest cause for concern is the sub’s bio skin which can quite easily carry viruses and disease. Until we know what this virus is and how it’s affecting the crew, we have no other option. seaQuest will have to remain dead in the water until our chief scientists have figured out what needs to be done. All the sub’s recordings and mission data are still being analysed.”

***

seaQuest tag list: @shrimpsthings

#seaquest #seaquest dsv #seaquest 2032 #Lucas wolenczak #captain Oliver hudson #lucas wolenczak x fem!reader #commander Jonathan ford #lieutenant lonnie henderson #lieutenant Tim o'neill #lieutenant James brody #dagwood #lieutenant j j fredricks #Darwin the dolphin #Tony piccolo

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praisethewlwlord · 5 years

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‘Twelve Shades of Love’

Mine and @versonstar story

Chapter 2 - ‘The Teacher’

Dorothy Olding x fem!reader

Warnings: sexual assault, homophobia, anxiety/panic attack, mild violence

Hi everyone! This is my first attempt at writing a fic and I've been luck enough to be able write this story with the one and only @versonstar who has been incredibly kind and supportive :3 I hope you enjoy it and I’d love to hear all kinds of feedback :)

‘Y/N Winters! I better see you downstairs in five minutes or else you’ll be late for school!’

Upon hearing the sound of my mother’s voice calling my from the bottom of the stairs I decided to speed up and threw on the last items of my outfit for another day as a junior at Bridgeway High School. I’d been going to the same school since I was a freshman and was in no way excited or nervous about going for another academic year however due to both my mother and my mum’s experiences in the educational environment growing up and because of their partnership and fame in the entertainment industry they were always worried for me whenever I went nearly anywhere. On the other hand I could care less. Everyone always had something to say and that had been something I’d learnt growing up but instead of closing myself of from the judgment of the human race I chose to try my best to ignore it even though I did occasionally get into fights with people who thought they could be rude about or offend my parents.

I stuffed the last of my school equipment into my backpack as well as my English essay and my favourite journal which I chose to take everywhere with me since you’d never know where an interesting story could be found.

Bolting down the stairs I attempted to style my hair into something mildly presentable and in doing so nearly bumped into my mum who was heading up them. In my attempt to stop myself from hitting her I unintentionally fell backwards banging my back on the beige carpeted steps. Her blue eyes glittered as she giggled at my clumsiness as she reached out her delicate hand to help me back onto my feet.

‘You should really be more careful darling’ she spoke bearing a kind smile.

‘Yeah, I’m sorry. I just I heard mother calling and knew that if I didn’t get down quickly that she would come up and drag me down herself’ I replied adding a small chuckle at the end remembering how stubborn of a woman she could be.

‘I understand’ she added, still holding my hand in hers as she turned heading down the stairs to the kitchen where she had just previously been with her wife. ‘I’ll join you so that she doesn’t make you even later by making you eat and trying to lecture you about being on time’. And with that we both laughed and entered the kitchen where the famous Lana Winters sat, mug in hand and reading the morning newspaper.

‘I heard you two laughing from in here, what’s going on?’ She asked suspiciously and small grin appearing on her rose lips as she placed the coffee filled mug onto a coster on the dining table.

‘Nothing dear, we were just talking’ replied Marion still holding a precious smile on her face as she let go of my hand and walked towards my mother placing a small kiss on her forehead.

Standing there I watched them in that moment. It looked like a scene from the most beautiful film, the sun dancing through the window landing on their forms like petals. Both of my parents held smiles on their faces as they gazed into each others eyes. The opera singer and the writer, it was almost poetic in some way.

Shifting my gaze to the clock hanging on the wall by the white fridge I suddenly realised that my bus would be arriving at its stop in less that 10 minutes. I ripped a piece of freshly popped toast from the toaster and sprinted into the hallway trying desperately to stuff my shoes on before gripping the door handle ready to pull it open when I heard my mum call my name. I turned on my heels and faced her.

‘Now I know you may be sixteen but I’m sure you're not too old to say goodbye to us before you leave’ she said slightly pouting as Lana walked up beside her.

Chuckling slightly at my parents antics I ran up to them, my piece of toast carelessly placed in my mouth as I brought them both in for a tight hug feeling them place their own arms around my back. Mumbling a ‘goodbye’ between the crumbs I escaped their embrace and turned back, this time leaving the house and making my way to the bus stop.

———

School wasn’t the most exciting thing the world of a 16 year old could offer however while I wasn’t very keen on it I absolutely adored English and specifically writing. That was probably my mothers fault as since they’d adopted me all I’d known was the world of journalism and singing. I absolutely adore the subject outside of school however there was one reason that I nearly loved it was much in school and that was thanks to my teacher, Miss Dorothy Olding.

She is perfect to put it simply. She is so enthusiastic and loves the subject just as much as I do and to make it even better she’s absolutely stunning. Her wavy blonde locks delicately bounced on her firm shoulders as she spoke. The natural makeup that blessed her face was always accompanied by a bright shade of stunning red lipstick. Kindness and wisdom was buried in the look in her eyes. The clothes worn by her delicately hugged her beautiful figure but always made her look like she was prepared to fight and win against any big corporation that got in her way. She always carried an air of authority however was very approachable and never shied away from a challenge. I have no idea how the school had managed to get her into teach us especially as she was still continuing her publishing career but here she was in all her glory standing before a class of students aged 16 and 17, 45 minutes before the end of the school day.

The sound of the final bell split the silence of pens on paper throughout the classroom signalling for the occupying students to rise from their seats and erupt into deafening conversations of gossip and social plans.

‘Y/N, would you mind staying behind for a minute? I just wish to talk to you’.

At the sound of my name being called from Miss Olding’s mouth, my heart began to beat twice as fast. I knew I wasn’t in any trouble however I was not stubborn enough to be able to trick myself into thinking that I didn’t have a slight crush on her. So I bid goodbye to my friend Simon and as he headed for the room’s door I approached Dorothy’s desk.

I wrapped my arms around my figure clutching my workbook waiting patiently for her to make the first move as I stood patiently waiting for her to finish the essay she was marking. Without departing her attention from the ink stained sheet of paper she spoke,

‘You look nervous, don’t worry your not in trouble Miss Winters’ as the final syllable of my surname escaped her mouth, her deep brown eyes met my E/C ones before she continued ‘I wish to discuss your progress including your most recent homework assignment that I have just had the joy of reading’.

Relaxing slightly at her words, I gave a small nod of acknowledgement and allowed her to continue.

‘You have a gift, one which I bet would have any publisher or newspaper firm after you’.

I felt a slight heat rising to my cheeks at her words, the only compliments I received for my work usually came from my parents or Simon as if I tried to show them off, as I learnt from when I was a child, I would be shadowed behind my mothers name or picked on by fellow classmates. This meant that I never felt the need to constantly work to my full potential as, as much as I’d like to say I didn’t, I sought for approval in those around me even though I told myself and tried my hardest to believe that I didn’t. Despite being stubborn, in some situations even more so that the famous Lana Winters, I still always held on to the fear of rejection. I’d show the outside world that I didn’t care about what was expected, that I’d be able to strive through anything life could throw at me but on the inside I felt like I had to remain in the same small box, not allowed to step out but be content with where I was protected.

Pulling me out of my own thoughts the blonde asked ‘I want to see how much potential you have, if you would like I’d love for you to do additionally work with my after school and on different projects’

‘I-I…really?’ I couldn’t help but stutter, it felt like a part of me had been waiting patiently for this since I was young and I didn’t want to let go of this feeling.

‘Of course! You have a talent and I don’t want to see it washed away’ and with those final words she stood, collected the assignments placing them in her light brown, leather briefcase and left for the exit. Before placing her delicately manicured hand on the doorknob she turned once again facing me, as I had stared in awe as she walked away.

‘We can start next week’ she started, turning back around and disappearing into the corridor.

‘Yes! Thank you!’ I desperately called after her a smile plastered on my face that I nearly thought was impossible to get rid of.

This was my chance.

— — —

Over the rest of my junior year I met weekly with the publicist developing my skills and expanding my knowledge of the world and what it had to offer for my career. Having all this extra time with Dorothy didn’t help the fact that I had a crush on her however I luckily managed to avoid anything too embarrassing as my mind was usually absorbed by the activities I was doing though the odd glance or two at her scarlet red lips or tender, soft cheeks had me distracted in almost an instant.

In the final term of the school year I was gifted by receiving Mrs Olding’s phone number, and while it wasn’t for the purpose I wanted it to be, I felt like I’d found gold. I was only allowed to message or call her if I wasn’t able to make it to a session or if I wanted to reorganise one during the summer break as we’d both agreed it would be great to continue however she did mention that if I truly needed her in any way that she would be happy to listen.

— — —

Luckily the final exams ended quickly in the two weeks before the break however that didn’t stop me from amounting so much stress that I nearly threw up several times during the course of the 14 days. Both Lana and Marion got exceedingly more worried as they tried method after method to try and help me calm my nerves. I slept with lavender, drank herbal teas and even practised a little meditation and while some of it did help I still felt like collapsing and not getting up. So when the email from the school came inviting all juniors and seniors to an end of exams/results party they almost forced me to go, despite wanting to go myself anyway, to help clear my mind of worry and let loose for 3 to 4 hours on a Friday night.

My only issue was who I would go with. I didn’t want a ‘date’ as to be honest there was no one I found mildly interesting in my year at all and while I hung out with some people I never had a stable group of friends who expressed that they wanted me to be with them besides Simon.

I had known Simon since starting at Bridgeway High and he’d always been great company and an incredibly kind and loving person despite the occasional racist comments that were thrown at him by some of the pricks in our freshman class. We had been there for each other through thick and thin and I’d never have asked for anything more.

— — —

I was applying the finally bits and pieces of my hair and makeup when I heard the doorbell ring.

‘Y/N! Simon’s here!’ My mum called from the bottom of the stairs

‘I’ll be there in a minute!’ I responded as I took one final look at myself smoothing down my outfit and checking for flyaway hairs. Luckily the event hadn’t called for extremely formal clothing so I’d opted for wearing the blazer and trousers of a deep maroon suit accompanied by a simple white t-shirt and black heals. Once I had finished inspecting I grabbed a small clutch from my table (as for some reason woman’s suits have absolutely no pockets), placed my phone inside and made my way down the stairs.

As I reached the foyer I spotted my parents speaking to my friend who had chosen to wear a Prussian blue suit with a sapphire shirt paired with white trainers. I tried my hardest not to draw attention to myself instead wanting the leave as quickly as possible however Lana spotted me out of the corner of her eye and gasped.

‘Sweetheart what’s wrong?’ Marion questioned before she turned around and copied the same action as her wife.

‘You look stunning my baby’ Lana uttered her eyes dancing over every inch of my like I was a diamond on display.

As I began to feel the heat of embarrassment rise on my cheeks both women stepped forward and wrapped their arms around my figure in a bone crushing manner. I didn’t need to hear them say that they were concerned, overjoyed and happy as I felt it all in their embrace. As they drew back I assured them that I would be absolutely fine and that I would be back by the latest midnight unless something happened, which I would accordingly call them about.

Wishing our final goodbyes Simon and I departed the house, climbed in his car and made our way back to the school.

— — —

The school hall was adorned with ribbon and balloons. A disco ball was hung form the centre of the ceiling, shining above a dance floor filled with teenagers. Around the latter were tables decorated with white cloth, chairs and a group of balloons. At one side of the hall the DJ booth stood blasting the most recent top 20 songs and on the opposite were three long tables, once again with white cloth, covered in all assortment of party food and drinks in massive plastic bowls with a ladle.

This way of presenting the drinks was found to be an absolutely terrible by the staff who had discovered, after several people had thrown up, that they had all been spiked. Luckily for me I had only had one drink but Simon wasn’t as lucky and had needed to be dropped home. That had left me alone, sitting on a table by myself staring at the small plate of food I had gotten myself.

Overcome with boredom and the sense of being stared at I decided to go into the hallway outside the girls bathroom and call either Lana or Marion to come and pick me up. That was the plan at least…

As I made my way into the hallway I leaned against some of the lockers about to grab my phone when a fist crashed into the metal beside my head causing me to drop my clutch. Trying to ignore the person who had scared me I went to pick up my items when their hand collided with my neck dragging me back up and pushing me against the lockers, forcing my body to be trapped between the cold metal and their frame. Looking up I thought I recognised the person however the darkness of the hallway shadowing their features and the extreme pain that my body had been forced into didn’t allow me to focus on anything besides their words and the stench of alcohol on their breath.

‘I’ve been watching you for a while Winters, you and that pretty body of yours’ though slightly slurred the deepness of their voice lead me to believe that it was a guy most likely one from the year above.

I looked down staring at my hands as I tried to practise the breathing exercises that Dr. Staple had taught me, putting my shaking fingers down as I breathed in and back up as I blew out. Noticing that my attention was drawn away from him, he snarled and began raising his left hand before striking the side of my face.

I just stood there. The echo reverberating through my ears. This wasn’t good. I’d tried so hard but still that one simple action was able to throw me right back. All of my muscles began to ache, my fingers jumping like they’d been shot with electricity. Tears began to prick at the sides of my eyes.

‘LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU, BITCH!’ And with that he hit me again

I went to hold my hands against my chest and shrink into the ground when both of his firsts ripped my arms away, his knee shoved between my thighs as he forced one hand against my neck using the other to support himself against the metal. All I could do was follow as I stared into is hollow eyes desperate to do anything in the world to protect myself.

‘I know your type, you know. The rich kid who things she’s too good for everyone else’ shoving one of his fingers against my temple he continued ‘All up there, stuck in your own perfect world’.

Where had I gone wrong, all I’d ever tried to do was fit in and be as “normal” as I could be if anything I thought I had tried to stay in the shadows. The million and one encounters I had made with anyone and everyone raced through my mind nitpicking and calling out all mistakes I’d made, every single time the patterns on a persons face had changed, their stance or the pitch of their voice. It was my fault. I’d done this to myself.

I began to cry. The tears I’d tried so hard to keep behind lock and key streamed down my face like waterfalls. I felt embarrassed, ashamed even to be falling apart when I believed I had no reason to.

‘Aww, you crying for your dyke mothers. They aren’t going to help you now princess. It’s just you and me and I know you want it. You want this, you asked for it dressing like you do with that attitude and that pretty little face of yours’.

With that final syllable his lips crashed into mine at a bruising force, tearing and stabbing away in a drunken attempt to gain access into me.

I felt so weak, my breathing was uncontrollable, the tears unstoppable. I placed my hands against his shoulders putting all my strength into trying to move him. I knew the consequences of disobeying but my mind was screaming at me, clawing at my skin, shouting at me to run and hide.

As my shove was unexpected the figure stumbled backwards and they began to laugh. Just laughing and laughing and laughing. I clutch my arms over myself as my fingers bruised my skin as I began to collapse, the adrenaline quickly leaving my body as I was consumed by my own pressuring darkness. I knew they’d come back, I knew what was going to happen once the laughing stopped.

Nothing came.

I was chocking slowly feeling like I was loosing my mind when a cold slender hand gripped my shoulder. Everything suddenly felt ten times worse as I tried desperately to shrink further and further into myself until I disappeared, the sobs and shaking never stopping.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ was all I could say all my mind could process. I needed to apologise I needed to fix it, everything.

Suddenly a blanket was being wrapped around my form as I was lifted up so my knees were against my chest being hugged by my red and nearly raw arms. I felt two bodies, one on each side of my broken self.

‘Shh, shh it’s okay. It’s going to be alright I promise. Y/N can you hear me?’ the voice on my right spoke softly

I nodded my head slightly

The same voice spoke again ‘Good, that’s really good. Can you do something for me? Can you copy my breathing?’.

I tried and it was working but it wasn’t enough. As I was about to shake my head and begin apologising I felt the body on my left shift, placing one of my hands on her chest. I tensed up ready to crawl into the shoulder of the person on my right when I felt the same cold hand from earlier touch my face softly and stroke my right cheekbone in a soothing manner.

A heartbeat. I could hear it. It felt stronger and better than my own so I followed it until I heard it in the same force that my own had inside my ears.

‘Well done Y/N. It’s okay now, we’ve got you. You’re safe’

Using the hand that wasn’t pressed against the persons chest I went to wipe my tears, still shaking slightly as I did so.

‘Hey, have some water’ the voice in front of me spoke. I looked up and as my eyes focused I was able to make out a leopard print pattern and blonde frizzy hair. Reaching for the cup of water she offered I drank it slowly as to not choke myself.

‘Y/N’ I recognised that voice and looking to my right I was unmistaken. It was Miss Olding. ‘We’re going to get you home okay. I’ve called your mother and told her that something has happened and that you’ll be arriving home soon’

‘Tha-thank you’ my own voice stuttered out still hoarse from my breathing.

I attempted to stand up only to collapse into the arms of the girl in the leopard print coat.

‘I’m-m sorr-y’

‘No no its okay, I’m gonna get you home’ she said kindly ‘Oh, my name is Sally by the way, Sally McKenna’

And with those final words she lead me, slowly and steadily, down the hallway and out to the car park where we got into her car. It smelt like cigarette smoke and there were quite a few boxes scattered around the vehicle.

‘I’m sorry about that Y/N, I’ve got a habit’ she said with a slight nervous chuckle

‘I don’t mind’ I replied with a slight smile. Luckily the walk had given my body and mind the opportunity to calm themselves so I could hold together a conversation

‘Are you okay?’

‘I should be I’m still a but on edge but I’ll be okay’

‘Good but you can talk to me about it whenever. I’ve been in the same shitty situation with a couple of arseholes before’ she spoke leaning back in the drivers seat and huffing

‘Oh I’m sorry about that’

‘No no they come and they go but they are all the same’ she then surprisingly giggled adding ‘though none of them look the same after’

‘What do you mean? Wait, what happened?’ I asked in complete curiosity

Placing a cigarette in her mouth, the blonde continued ‘I saw the two of you as I came out of the girls bathroom and then I saw you crying and shove him back before collapsing’ blowing out the smoke she went on ‘I walked up to him as he was about to grab you and punched him and, you know, kept going until I knew he wouldn’t even think about getting up’

‘Thank you’ I replied meekly

‘There’s no need to’

And with that she began to drive out of the school. As we passed the front gate I noticed an ambulance and a group of students and teachers gathered around it including Dorothy. Giving Sally my address she continued, not caring one glance for the building or the commotion outside of it.

— — —

I must have dosed off as I felt the woman beside my nudge my arm.

‘We’re here’

I said my thank you’s and was ready to leave when she called my name.

‘I hope you don’t mind but I used your phone to take a picture of my number for you’ she finished, rubbing her hand on the back of her neck

‘It’s perfect, thank you. I-I want to find a way to thank you properly if that’s okay’

‘That’s fine with me sweetheart’ she added with a grin

Smiling back I excited the car and walked to my front door, turning back to wave before I returned inside.

#twelve shades of love #Dorothy olding x reader #sarah paulson imagine #sally mckenna x reader

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rpgmgames · 6 years

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July’s Featured Game: Black Crystals

DEVELOPER(S): Yoraee ENGINE: RPGMaker MV GENRE: Fantasy, RPG WARNINGS: Alcohol Reference, Drug Reference, Use of Alcohol, Use of Drugs, Use of Tobacco, Mild Blood, Fantasy Violence, Sexual Themes SUMMARY: Starsio, a street performer, finds himself in the stickiest of situations. Starsio was kidnapped off the streets of his home town and brought to the brothel Paprika where he is forced to become a performer. One rainy night, Starsio gathers his courage and wits and plans an escape. He convinces Arthur, an apprehensive and fidgety new found friend, to accompany him. Starsio sets his escape plan in motion with one last song…

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! My name is Hind, but online I go by Yoraee (fans of Breath of Fire may recognize my handle).

I used to make parodies of anime openings and endings featuring the Ninja Turtles (If you REALLY want to you can look them up on youtube by searching for Yoraee!)

I am a HUGE fan of Ninja Turtles, Inazuma Eleven, Cyborg 009, Hetalia, and Ace Attorney! My favorite video games are Saga Frontier, Tales of Destiny, and the Suikoden series.

I joined the RPG Maker gamedev community about two years ago when I started working on Black Crystals. I LOVE it here! :D

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Yoraee: Black Crystals at its core is about Home. Whether it be finding home, returning home, or creating home. Black Crystals features a large ensemble of characters, each with their own story and struggle, all of which revolve around this central theme.

How long have you been working on your project? *Yoraee: About two years now.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Yoraee: Yes! The jigsaw chain coop system and the spontaneous leaning system featured in Black Crystals' combat system are based on similar mechanics in the PS1 game Saga Frontier. Of course I added my personal touches to these system to make them less of direct copies. The Interact and Talk system is inspired by Undertale in the sense that a battle can be concluded without the need for combat. In Black Crystals, however, you are able to interact with the environment and alter it, so you can actually see the results of your choices in battle and how they change subsequent choices.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Yoraee: Definitely! The main two challenges for me are time and motivation.

Since I work full time, the only times I can work on Black Crystals are after work or during weekends or holidays, which limits my productivity greatly. I took some leave from work at certain points and basically locked myself in my house and worked on the game's systems, but aside from that work on Black Crystals has taken place during my little free time.

Motivation, well, comes and goes for me. Some days I'm all like "YEAH! THIS GAME IS AWESOME!!" and other days I'm like "what am I doing why am I wasting my time on this". In order to keep myself motivated, I made a habit of posting weekly on my devlog. By posting weekly, I get more regularized feedback, which gives me a good motivational boost to get me through the week till the next update.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? Yoraee: The systems design didn't change much. I had an outline of the features I wanted in Black Crystals; the interaction system, the state of mind system, the coop and leaning system. What came next was implementing these features and refining them.

The characters underwent changes in the way they are written. Arthur and Starsio's personalities sort of switched midway through writing, and the current way they are written seemed more cohesive to the story line.

Several other NPCs also underwent changes. I had a Paprika worker, Anita, for example, who played the role of both herself and Patricia. Later I split the roles and ended up with two characters; Anita and Patricia.

Finally, the whole cats thing was non existent two years ago. They sort of materialized into the game a few months ago :3

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Yoraee: Aside from music, which I commissioned, and the plugins, which are contributed by the amazing coders in the community, I'm a one-woman team taking care of all aspects of the game.

I prefer to work alone, simply because my processes are horrible and my pace is very erratic. I think I would drive potential team members mad XD

What is the best part of developing the game? *Yoraee: Seeing how everything clicks and fits together in the end :) The end product to me is always worth it.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Yoraee: I love playing other RPG Maker games. I think you can't help but think and analyse how things are done in a game while playing it if you are a dev yourself. I think its adds to the fun of the experience for me.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Yoraee: My favorite character hasn't shown up yet :( Its a secret for now!

I like Arthur's character in the current story. He reminds me of a younger me, too easily influenced by others and too scared of saying no. While writing the story I feel like grabbing him and giving him a good shake and yelling "Just say NO you passive fool!" XD

Bonus Info: The game has six main characters! :D

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Yoraee: Yes, the animations. I spent so much time making skills detailed and fluid. I think I kind of lost track of the bigger picture. My animation process is much more improved now, with a more streamlines approach to animations.

Also putting animations together in the Animation tool in RPG Maker MV. I used to manually set up each frame next to the next frame, and it took AGES for animations that comprised 6+ frames. Later it clicked that I could set a template and record the x and y positions and then just move everything around in one chunk to save me TONS of time. I need to make a tutorial on that some time because its such a time saver!

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Yoraee: Black Crystals is episodic. The current game is Episode 1. As episodes progress more will become known about the game's universe and characters.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Yoraee: Players reaction and feedback first and foremost, because to me that will be detrimental to whether or not I continue the series.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Yoraee: Just the capability of the RPG Maker engine. I'm worried about the game lagging or dropping frames when played, given the graphics size. Lag to me kills the experience so I'm doing my best to make sure it doesn't happen in Black Crystals.

Also I'm kind of nervous about how people will receive the battle system ~_~

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Yoraee: Learn from the community. Its amazing the amount of resources and knowledge we have in the RPG Maker community. Don't be shy to ask for help if you need it. From my experience the community is one of the best there is.

Question from last month's featured dev @maimiestoybox: What has been the most rewarding part of your game dev journey so far? *Yoraee: Just sharing tidbits of the game and getting feedback from the community. It does wonders to my self esteem :)

Also the feeling of self accomplishment when you see the bits and pieces you created come together and your project take shape. Best feeling!

We mods would like to thank Yoraee for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Black Crystals if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#rpgmaker #black crystals rpg #indie games #free games #rpg #rpgmaker games #jrpg #black crystals #gotm #game of the month #gotm 2018 #july #july 2018 #2018

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