#my dumbass admiral!! who's absolutely not dead!! incredible!!!!!

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Dating Beach Vollyeball Star

Shoyo Hinata

Timeskip! Shoyo Hinata x GN! Reader

Warnings: swearing, physical touch and kissing

AN: I can’t believe I missed this little cherubs birthday 😫 and because my favorite Hinata is Brazil, Beach Volleyball Hinata, I figured we owed him his own headcanon set 😌

I don’t even need to tell you

The picture above says it all

Beach Volleyball Hinata is supreme 🙌🏻

Literally going from “your nothing without Kageyama” to leaving Kageyama behind to conquer the world

Honestly we love a good character development 👏🏻

If anyone in HQ can handle adapting to a new country, it’s Hinata

And Oikawa but this isn’t about him

Hinata had the social skills, friendly demeanor and lack of giving a single fuck what people think of him 💅

Literally all he wants to do is play volleyball

Well at least, until you showed up 👀

You see, Hinata was pretty popular in high school

He occasionally dated here and there but nothing serious

Man’s was way too busy competing with Kageyama to have any time for dating 🙄

Originally when he went to Brazil, he didn’t have any intention on dating

He was there for a limited time and that time was all volleyball focused

Sure that strategy worked for a while but when he started competing, he began to notice the draw beach volleyball brought

I mean serious, have you ever seen/ played beach volleyball???

Like in sand? First off, it’s a BITCH. Second, it’s incredibly difficult

Crowds would gather to watch him and others play

And sure enough, you were a regular at their games

Whether you liked the actual game of volleyball or just like watching hot guys run around, the sport drew you in 😌

You’d noticed the little tangerine man often and found him both incredibly attractive as well as very skilled

You’d always manage to find a way to watch him compete because there was just something about him

Now Hinata grew to remember your face, having seen it at basically all his games

Obsessed much Yn?

Literally me but ok 😭

You were one of the few people that showed up to watch all his games

Soon, he’d start looking for you specifically

Did he know your name? No

Had he ever spoken a single word to you? Nope

Did he fully believe you were coming strictly to watch him compete! Absolutely 💯

Hinata would take with his partner about you often and his partner would say

“Why don’t you find out who they are?”

And Hinata would be like “yeah I will : D”

And then he wouldn’t 🙄

To be fair, you’d leave as soon as the match was over, far to nervous to ever speak to him

While Hinata wasn’t tall, he looked rather imposing on the court/beach

He took the game seriously and you admired that about him

But that still didn’t mean you were gonna actually say anything to him

Finally, about 8 games deep into your low-key/high- key stalking situation, Hinata finally had enough

He was going to find out who you were

So in true Hinata fashion, the minute the game was over, he shouted “HEY YOU!”

All while looking you dead in the eyes

🎶 when he looks at me 🙂 and I look at him 😳and he looks at meeee 😃 and I look at him 👁️👄👁️

Like the dumbass you are (I’m calling you a dumbass out of love Yn), you look left, then right, then left again and point to yourself

You 👉🏻😐😳 me??

Hinata just runs up to you and immediately starts talking

“I finally caught up to you!”

You 👉🏻👁️👄👁️

“I’ve seen you at all my games and I figured maybe you were here because you liked Beach volleyball but then I thought ‘hmm I wonder if maybe they like me’ and I wanted to talk to you but I could never catch you!”

You 👉🏻 👁️👄👁️

“Then I figured I’d just call out your name but silly me, I don’t even know your name!”

You, still 👉🏻👁️👄👁️

“So what’s your name?? I’m Shoyo Hinata!”

You 👉🏻👁️👄👁️ YN LN

And that YN, is exactly how your situationship with Hinata started

After you finally grew more comfortable, Hinata would seek you out at every turn

He’d be out delivering for people and just pop into see you

He’d always invite you to come watch him practice or even just hang out at the beach

He introduced you to One Piece 😱

Thankfully, you and Hinata knew the same language so communication wasn’t difficult

At first, it started out as a friendship

But it didn’t take long to develop into more

Hinata enjoyed everything about you and how you made Brazil more like a second home to him

And in true Hinata style, he confesses 🫣

*channeling season 4’s super awkward first year training camp*

🙌🏻picture this 🙌🏻 you two are just walking along the beach like you normally do

Hinata is acting a bit weird but then again, it’s Hinata

So you decide to just ask him “hey Sho, you ok…”

But before you can finish your sentence, Hinata screams

“YN I LIKE YOU AND ID LOVE IT IF YOU’D DATE ME!”

You 👉🏻😐😳😍 ABSOLUTELY

Hinata 👉🏻👁️👄👁️ for real?

You hug him, asking if you can give him a little kiss on his cheek because you are so cute 🥹

And this begins your relationship with Hinata

Honestly, I firmly believe a relationship with Hinata would be amazing

He would be such a supportive and encouraging partner

If you want to do something, he’s your biggest supporter

If something bad happens, he’s there to lead a listening ear and he gives THE BEST hugs 🫂

When it comes to Hinata leaving for Japan, he obviously wants you to come

He hates the idea of a long distance but he’d do it for you

You agree to come with him but unfortunately you won’t be able to come anytime soon

Obviously you coming to Japan is amazing but Hinata misses you the entire time

He texts, FaceTimes, sends gifts, does whatever he can to stay close to you

When he signs with the Black Jackals, you are so excited for him

It means you won’t get to talk to him as much because of practice ☹️

And when he talks about his debut game, he’s sad you can’t be there to see him

Or can you 🙃

Because you’ve been planning a surprise this entire time!

You arranged everything and you are ready to head for Japan!

Through Hinata, you met Yachi, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima and they agree to help you surprise Hinata

When it comes time for the game, Hinata is confused because he’s been trying to reach you all day

He’s wondering why you are responding to his texts or calls

It actually makes him super sad 😔

Thankfully MSBY is there to cheer him up!

“I’m sure Yn is just sleeping!” Bokuto says

“Or maybe out with friends!” Atsumu adds

“But Yn doesn’t have friends Yeah I’m sure that’s it,” Hinata sighs

You make your way to your seat, your #21 Hinata jersey in tow 💅

MSBY comes out and Hinata puts on his smile, despite feeling down

He looks up to the crowd and his eyes instantly land on you

You 👉🏻😁👋🏻

Hinata 👉🏻 ☹️😐😳🥹

He’s seriously so excited to see you and he’s instantly stoked!!

Hinata’s on fire now and he’s ready to dominate!

During the game, you get to watch him play indoor volleyball and it’s amazing

You hadn’t gotten to see much indoor play so your jaw was on the floor the entire time

After the game, you ran down to see Hinata and the moment he saw you, he ignores everyone and runs to you

“You came Yn, you really came!” He shouts, hugging you and giving you the biggest kiss ever!

“I did Sho and I’m so glad I did!” ♥️

[lovepersists2]

wHAT’S UP IT’S KAT’S BIRTHDAY AND SHE HATES IT SO EVERYONE SHOULD PESTER HER THANKS

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON THE END OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY.

Dishonour! Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow! 

Well Jason Nation, it happened again, fanon wins over canon. The amount of bullshit that DC made Zdarsky write in this issue is insane, I have never seen this many fanfiction tropes shoved in a single issue in my life.

This book has been a constant insult to Jason’s character and his Red Hood “persona” since the very first issue but I never thought it would end this badly. It’s incredibly sad.

I will go ahead and say it, this tumblr and this post is not “Batfamily” friendly and it definitely isn’t fanon friendly when it comes to Jason Todd.

Fanon is destroying canon for Jason Todd. I am sorry but that’s how I see it, fanon doesn’t belong in canon, I would never get tired of saying that. But here is the thing, DC latches on to Jason’s fanon version because it fits their narrative of “the Batman is all that is right and all must follow his rules or they shall disappear”.

DC has been dying to make Jason bland and flavourless just like Batman. And now here it finally is.

Let’s be honest the story in this book, the new drug, Cheer, Tyler and his mom, none of that shaped this story, none of those things were the support beams for it. It was all about this never ending “daddy issues” thing that DC pretends is going on between Jason and Bruce.

It was all about those two fighting because they “think differently” so in the end they can push Jason towards the “no killing rule” being also the Red Hood’s modus operandi.

Its utter bullshit.

From the moment that Jason had to put a bat suit on I knew that this was going to be a mess. Luckily like I predicted they didn’t make a big deal out of him wearing it but the “Jason admires Batman” feeling was very present in the issue.

I will not talk about how easy it was for that one thug to land a punch on Jason while he was distracted and I will also not talk about Jason being a dumbass for not securing his dumb mask better when he knew the fight will involve gases. I will not talk about it.

Anyway, let’s talk about the Cheer Gas induced illusion, shall we?

In Jason’s illusion he finds Bruce at the manor looking at the picture of Joker’s death (?) and even though that is strange what Bruce says next is even weirder, he says this: “I did it. He was the last one, but I did it…Joker is dead. I am done.”

Now what the hell was that? This is Jason’s illusion, and by the looks of it in his illusion Bruce has killed every baddie in Gotham and left the Joker for last? Am I reading that right? Is this this a joke?

I understand that this is an illusion so the gas is making “real” things that Jason probably doesn’t know he wants, like wanting Bruce to go on a killing spree, which Jason never wanted because he said it himself, do you guys remember the iconic “I’m not talking about killing Cobblepot and Scarecrow or Clayface. Not Riddler or Dent…I’m talking about HIM. Just him.” Because I remember and it’s so important to Jason’s character, Jason never wanted Bruce to go on a killing spree, he wanted Bruce to kill the clown who had killed him when he was only fifteen. Is that so hard to remember DC?

And then it gets worse! Since WHEN has Jason wanted a perfect family life with the people that he has tried to kill, harm or looked down to? Why is “being with a bunch of people who NEVER get together for anything other than “help” the Bat in a fight against a fucking clown” the idea of happiness to Jason? Has this man ever interacted with any of these people in a positive way without the intrusion of a Batman/Robin event in the way? I will give you the answer, it’s no, the answer is no.

Jason Todd doesn’t care for your “Batfamily” bullshit DC, why would it matter to him? Because he was Robin? He was killed by the Joker when he was Robin, and he was killed because the man in charge of him didn’t pay enough attention! Jason Todd who was written as Dick Grayson’s number one hater for so long (and fandom loves that) is now having an illusion where he enjoys happy times with him along the others? Cass and Stephanie? What? Am I missing something, is this actually AO3, is this fanfiction?

I think Zdarsky got confused, this illusion is what would happen if Jason were dosed with fear gas. That must be it, I solved it everyone! Zdarsky just got confused by his own writing!

I wish.

Let’s go back to the sad reality, Jason has a moment in which he actually puts all his training in motion and shakes of the gas’s grasp on him. He does that but he is grabbed by so many people (who are this people?) and he is unarmed and I believe that’s the only reason why Cheer is still alive after saying that he has someone in Tyler’s mom’s hospital room ready to kill her if he doesn’t join him.

(If this were the real Jason, Cheer would have dropped dead instantly.)

But this is not the real Jason and this is not a *real* comic, it’s fanfiction! So just like that time in Batman #100 when Dick was fighting alone as Nightwing (for the first time since his “family” left him alone after losing his memories) the rest of the “family” shows up to fight Cheer and four random thugs.

Yep, its like the MCU had considered having Cap say “Avengers Assemble” when they were fighting a couple of robots instead of Thanos.

What a mess.

Also having Jason say, in real life (not illusion world), “You know what happiness is? It’s knowing that others have your back.” about this group of people is the perfect recipe for a big OOC moment for absolutely everyone. I cannot believe they have dragged Jason back to this awful concept and that they have sank him so low. It’s quite honestly, disgusting.

But the horrors don’t end there, we have a wonderful moment after Jason gives Batman the antidote, Jason stops Batman from punching the living shit out of Cheer. Because I am not stupid. There is no way in the world that you can convince me that Jason just stopped Batman from killing Cheer.

How incredibly delusional do you have to be to write Batman finally killing someone and that someone being Cheer, a guy that was introduced to comics two months ago?

Yes, later its said that between the gas and the antidote Bruce was a little too crazy and couldn’t help himself BUT I call bullshit once more, because Bruce has gone completely bat-shit-crazy on people before! I remember two recent instances in which that happened. Batman #57 in which Bruce beats the living shit out of KGBeast after he shot Dick. And the other one is Batman beating up Jason more brutally than he ever beat up Joker in RHatO #25.

DC cannot fuck with me. I might has bought this digital comic for 8 dollars but I am not buying that bullshit.

ALSO, there was no need for Zdarsky to do Jason as dirty as he did him when he made him say: “If you are going to come down from mount judgement to MY level for once… he’s not the guy to do it for.”

Zdarsky, why did you write a Red Hood story when you hate Red Hood? Couldn’t you have just told DC that you wanted to write a love letter to Batman? Once again, I am reading a Red Hood story for RED HOOD content not Batman content. Is it really that hard? I bet that if Zdarsky had asked DC to let him write a Batman story they would have said yes, there are like 20 Batman stories, they wouldn’t say no to one more!

Can you tell I am mad? And salty?

This post is so long and so full of anger, I am truly sorry for that but I have to write these feelings down or I would explode. And I am not even done, our suffering, Jason Nation, continues.

But first a little break from the pain, Tyler. Thank you after all the pain this book has given me Tyler is back and just like I predicted his mom is fine and he will stay with her, they both have been given a place and money to rebuild their life (not given by Jason nor Dick but I was close enough). The only happy ending that Tyler could have, he had and I am thankful for that, we even got a little adorable moment between the Red Hood and the Blue Hood.

I am weak for these little glimpses of a good Jason take in the middle of an incredibly awful/OOC story. And just to live in my own fantasy world I will headcanon that Jason promised himself to keep an eye out for Tyler and his mom. He would have wanted to know about their life and that they are still out of trouble.

Jason is a good man, don’t you forget that DC, I don’t care how much you twist it. Jason killing Tyler’s dad wasn’t a horrible act, it was fair game. That man was a horrible person, he drugged his child and made his wife (?) almost overdose. You never gave context as to why that man was working as a drug dealer but you told us those things so Jason should never feel like he did something wrong. As far as we know, Tyler and his mom are better off without him.

Having said that, lets go back to the pain of what is reading a Red Hood story.

“I’m giving up the guns.”

You know what, fine, as long as DC doesn’t pull another “I will stop being Red Hood for you Barbara” I will be fine. He can kill people with other things, he used to have the all-blades, he had normal swords and he had crowbars.

I will sacrifice Jason looking hot as hell when he pulls out his guns just to keep him as the Red Hood, all DC has to do is not give him that stupid… bat… symbol… oh no…. oh my god I can feel it… that thing, that horrible thing is making a comeback! NO!

Jason and Bruce’s talk is basic and it doesn’t do anything for anyone, in the end saying that Jason isn’t changing his ways for Bruce but that he is doing it for himself is more of the same. We know he is doing it for Bruce and we know DC is doing it because they cannot handle good, complex and interesting characters. We know that and sadly we have to live with it.

About Bruce’s illusion, well, Bruce has said that he wanted to kill the clown for a very long time and in the King run it was basically said that if Bruce were to be happy then the idea of Batman would die.

Listen, between me and you, sometimes I think that the Joker isn’t that big of a problem for Gotham as a whole, that clown has beef with the Bat and no one else. If Bruce has killed the Joker Jason would have been happy with Bruce all those years ago but killing the Joker wouldn’t make Gotham a safe place and any of his kids happier.

Bruce needs to care for his children, but he won’t do that, he has Dick for that. Taking care and raising Damian? No, thank you, I will not do that. Giving a shit about my son who lost all his memories and is alone? No thank you, I won’t do that and then I will lie about having watched him over. Tim? Oh, never heard of him, sorry.

The last page of this story is the one of Jason arriving home and finding a new suit that Bruce gave him with the bat symbol on it. That symbol that he had ripped off of Jason’s beat up body back in RHatO #25 (nope, I am not letting that one go).

Oh, and Bruce leaving that suit in Jason’s home gives me the same exact vibes as the time that Bruce was like “Long overdue. This is where you belong. As one of us. One of the family” in Nightwing #74 a second after Dick had regained his memories.

I don’t know why but they make him sound incredibly cold and like these people are just his pawns that he needs to rope back in every time they get away from him. It’s very disturbing.

Anyway, that’s all from me, I obviously LOVED this book, best Jason Todd/Red Hood characterisation ever! 11/10 would recommend to everyone including my enemies!

🙃

[verytiredblob]

My reviews on Manhwas

Alright so, recently I've began to fall into the great Manhwa hell, as if I didn't have enough fandoms.

But I neither have friends to chat about this with, nor a Discord chat where I can fanby about it, so I just decided to throw it in here.

These are both Manhwas I recommend and my opinions on them. If there are any spoilers, They will be striked through and in blue for anyone that wishes to avoid them (if anyone even reads this lol).

1. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass (악녀는 모래시계를 되돌린다)

Premise: Aria was a terrible person and was sentenced to dead by being beheaded. In her final moments, she discovers her step sister, Mielle, actually manipulated her during her entire life just so she could get Aria killed. She then is beheaded, and wakes up in the past, in her child body. So now, she must work to both survive and get her revenge on her sister.

Lovely story, and my first Manhwa. The art is simply stunning, and all the characters are very flashed out and developed. Aria (MC) is the pettiest person alive and I'm here for that.

Also, I noticed a trend where, even though the manhwa has "Villainess" in the title, the MC is usually a total angel. Well, not here. Aria is egotistical and a total Diva, she has her goals and one of them is her revenge and by all that is sacred she'll get it.

Mielle is a great villain, she has grown a lot in her own pettiness and tactics since she was a child, and I really like that. Also, watching her suffer for being a terrible person is delightful.

The Male Lead (Asher) is also really cool, I like how he's both witty and friendly, and how much he truly admires Aria and her achievements.

The side characters are also pretty good, and they get a lot of focus because of their interactions with the main cast.

Again, The art is S T U N N I N G. Look at this:

Literally all panels are drawn like this or better, I'm in love.

All in all, an awesome read, 10/10, I love this a lot.

2. The Monster Duchess And Contract Princess (괴물 공작가의 계약 공녀)

Premise: Leslie's life was terrible, and always centered on her big sister, Eli. After a failed attempt of her family to grant Eli her sister's skills and knowledge, Leslie searches for the feared "Monster Duchess" in an attempt to survive.

Another one with incredible art AND incredible characters. Leslie is an absolute angel, and seeing her grow as a person is awesome.

The gender envy I feel with the Duchess is unbearable, she's utterly perfect. And the entire family is so dotting and loving and sweet, my little grinch heart can't take it.

She's perfection, really.

The plot keeps getting more and more mysterious, and I'm here for it!

I love each of the main characters a lot, and even the villains are well done and fuel your hatred.

Also, Eli Sperado and her Dad can choke on those black flames for all eternity.

Another 10/10, although I must warn anyone that wishes to read this that the translations sometimes are very spotty and messy, so it can be a bit annoying.

3. I'll be the Matriarch in this Life (이번 생은 가주가 되겠습니)

Premise: Firentia was a girl that died in Korea in her past life, and was reborn into an influential family as the illegitimate daughter of the third son. Her life was pretty terrible, with in the end, her family ending up in poverty and disgrace because of her uncles and cousins, while she was exiled from the family. After another accident, she wakes up in her past, now with a goal: Become the Lombardi matriarch and stop the other family heirs from bringing it to ruin.

Awesome art and Awesome plot number 3! This is so good, genuinely. Firentia is such an awesome plotter, and her goals and actions are very well developed.

The Male Lead is my baby and I shall protect him, and the side characters? Utterly stunning.

The twins are the cutest fucking shit, seriously. Like, look at these two?? I'm dead. Although, all the children are very, veeery cute.

I like how Firentia subtly manipulates things around her to get what she wants. It's similar to Aria, but she's much more mature and knowledgeable, and has a much less petty goal.

Guess what? 10/10. Yeah, I know, I'm terrible at grading, sue me.

4. The Twins Siblings' New Life (쌍둥이 남매의 뉴라이프)

Premise: Arien and Arjen were a pair of twins that died in Korea, and were reborn again as twins and as the Emperor's illegitimate children. Now, with only each other to trust, they must do their best to survive.

My current obsession. I really like this one. The art is not on the same level of pure Awesome like the ones before, but it's pretty good nonetheless.

The plot is pretty nice, but I must warn you: DO NOT expect them to act like adults. Honestly, just forget they're meant to be reborn in this world. They're just normal children and that's it. They act like children, and they think like children. Honestly, I think the author just wanted to make this story about them as children and their producer went and said to make them reincarnates because that Isekai shit is popular nowadays (And to justify they having memories of their newborn days). Seriously, just ignore it, the experience reading will be much better.

Other than that, the story develops nicely. The characters are all very good and the plot is very mysterious. I am holding myself back to not spoil anything, aaaaa.

There is also only one another thing that disappoints me: Arien is very clearly the MC. The story is told by her eyes and we only know what Arjen thinks or feels when he says it 9 or by subtext). I really wish it was more balanced, because they're both different people and have different perspectives, and also I really like Arjen.

I have absolutely no idea where this plot is gonna go, and honestly? I like it. It's very rare when I don't know how things are gonna develop because of other stories, so it feels very fresh.

The brothers are freaking awesome. I was so scared they were going to hate the twins and be petty, because of other manhwas that are like that, but they're so loving and sweet?? All hail these idiots. Also, Daddy is the biggest dumbass of all, this poor clueless man.

An 8/10, because of the complaints above. Still a good read, and I really like it, even with it's defects.

4. I'm A Stepmother, But My Daughter Is Just Too Cute! (계모인데 딸이 너무 귀여워)

Premise: A seamstress dies of overwork in Korea, and wakes up in the body of Abigail, the vain Queen, and the evil stepmother to the princess Blanche. Yes, It's like she stepped into the world of Snow White, and she must now do her best to live and.. Dote on Blanche with toys and dresses as much as possible?

Again with the awesome art and nice plot. Why are there so many manga with awesome art?? I'm so envious.

May all hail this crispy, delicious art.

Abigail is a whole mood, and I enjoy how she is inserted into the life of someone who had already lived and had a reputation. Her actions baffle a lot of the characters, as do her motivations, and I'm here for it.

The King has also an amazing backstory that's very tragic and yikes. I enjoy it, really. Not something you see in men's backstories that much.

Also, I'm kinda saddened by the fact the MC and the king are bound to become an actual couple. They would be such good platonic friends stuck in a political marriage. I was robbed, y'all.

Abigail greatest ambition is to get to design a dress for Blanche and have her wear it, and you know what? Good for her! Sometimes, it's good to have an MC that is not plotting against world at large.

Also, her mirror? Verite is simply perfect, I love this guy. I non-jokingly ship him with Abigail more than her with the King.

Blanche is a sweetheart, she deserves to be in my "adopted children" wall.

For now it's more of a Slice of Life than anything? But I also don't know what happens in the novels, so I'm just going to wait.

For the current lack of a grater plot, this gets a 7/10. Still pretty good and entertaining, especially for when you just don't feel like trying to understand deep plots with lots of elements.

5. Beware of the Brothers! (그 오빠들을 조심해!)

Premise: Another one of those "I lived my life and then wake up in the past." Hari was adopted by this family after the death of their only daughter, and although her parents love her, her 3 older siblings very much don't. She lives a miserable life in their hands, and when it's the night before she is to get married and finally escape her brothers, she wakes up in the past, and has to deal with them all over again.

Another nice art one, and the background characters are very nice, as is the MC.

But for me, it has a big problem. And that problem is the main ship. It's Hari with her eldest brother, Eugene. Even though they are not related and yadda yadda yadda, they were raised as such, and thus it bothers me. Also, Eugene is as plain as white bread and just as generic when seen as the Male Lead.

I ship Hari with Johan, even though I know it's not gonna happen, Ugh, the pain..

For me, the main point in this is Hari's relationship with her other siblings and the other background characters. I'm here for that wholesome sibling interaction. Her relationship with Erich, specially, is awesome. I love these two so much

It also kinda lacks a plot? Other than the relationship development and their story as a family, but again, I have no idea how they will develop this.

Also, pet peeve? Why do they keep using Oppa instead of translating it properly as brother? I get honorifics and stuff, but it's so annoying.

I give it a 6/10. Good characters and good relationships outside of the bloody incest thing, and it's a good enough way to pass the time.

There are two more that I've read, buut it's like 4am and I'm sleepy as all hell, so I'll just add it in a reblog or attached post later, and I plan on doing this for other future manhwas as well.

Do you have any recommendations or comments or just wanna talk about any of these manhwas? Hit me up!

[angel-gidget]

OK, TATERTOTS!

PLEASE ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN WHY A COUPLE OF MEASLY SPOILER PAGES HAVE ME FLYING SO HIGH.

First off, issue #1 has made it clear that Dark Opal is the villain du jour. This means you guys are in for a treat. This man is an uncomplicated pleasure to hate. Perfect example, this reference: the wedding of Topaz & Sapphire.

The following commentary shall spoil the heck out of an 80’s classic, good old Amethyst Miniseries Issue #7.

You stand warned. (but oh my! YOu gossip! YOu totally want to know what happened at the wedding, DON’T you? @timkarinn)

Why is a villain like Dark Opal such a delight? Well, in a world saturated Foe Yay and Grey-Area Morality perpetuated by the likes of Miller and Moore, he’s a kind of villain we haven’t enjoyed in a while.

Amethyst creators Gary Cohn and Dan MIshkin once noted that Dark Opal was designed to be a most classically straight-up villain. Not misunderstood. Not misguided. Not insane. Not sympathetic. Just a dude who wanted absolute power and did not care a whit that it would corrupt absolutely. This is the sort of villain that allows our young, intrepid heroes to shine untarnished.

Exhibit A: Dark Opal murdering poor old Lord Topaz on the day his son is to be married.

We don’t see exactly HOW Opal clones/pod-persons/etc the deceased lord to make a perfect replica lucky run around in his place, but we do see poor Price Topaz mourning his freedom as the noose of arranged marriage tightens around his neck.

OH, if only there was some charming, fearless, swash-buckling princess who could save our poor prince from such a terrible fate! OH WAIT…

SUCH VALOR! SUCH HOPE! Quite possibly the budding of a beautiful romance…

… if his savior didn’t possess all the smooth moves of an anxious spring chicken.

But hey, it doesn’t matter! What matters is that there are UNINVITED GUESTS AT THIS HERE WEDDING SHINDIG. The first sign of this holy apocalypse is the arrival of Lord Garnet.

Lord Garnet deserves his own post, tbh. He’s like… if Old Spice Man and Santa Clause had a really ripped clone baby together and you gave him gem powers. He’s one of Amethyst’s trusted mentors and advisors and he’s gr8.

THUS ENTERS OUT FINE PRINCESS IN HER SWAGGED OUT WEIRDO SPIDER DRESS. YES.

Okay, my dudes, I know it’s a tangent, BUT A LOT OF THINGS ARE GOING DOWN AT THIS BIT O NUPTUALS. SUCH THINGS. MANY HAPPENINGS.Also, almost-happenings.

The only Topaz who’s got 0 regrets about this wedding is the princess. She’s just shoving down e’rrybody on her way to the throne today.

Meanwhile, Dark Opal’s adopted son, Prince Carnelian, is running his drunk dumbass mouth which nearly leads to a duel with Lord Moonstone.

Some folks, namely Lady Turquoise, have cottoned onto the fact that Princess Amethyst is in attendance, and have proceeded to loudly declare their love and loyalty. With Dark Opal’s lackeys RIGHT THERE. IN THE ROOM. Props for bravery, amiga.

You know people are having a good time when there is only (1) attempted assassination of Dark Opal’s person that evening. (but mission abort, sadly, bc Lord Garnet knows Lady Emerald ain’t ready to really take the heat for it.)

On with the wedding!

Gee… when you put it like THAT, how’s a guy supposed to say no?

Like that, I guess.

So anyway, it’s getting obvious that SOMEHOW, Lord Topaz went from loving indulgent father to #1 Abusive Patriarch overnight, and Amethyst smells something fishy…

Way to use your filters, gem-people.

So basically, Amy throws a water balloon to reveal that Prince Topaz’s dead dad has been replaced with a pod-person tentacle monster. 

And of course, Plausible Deniably is Dark Opal’s idea of a really funny joke.

So, they fight the tentacle monster.

And even though Amy ASSURES him that NO IT’S NOT REALLY YOUR DAD, TOPAZ, the prince still angsts bc y’know that’s his thing. He angsts.

But he fights too. Credit where credit is due.

Together they slay that sucker, and Amethyst finally lets the bass drop, announces the pink elephant in the room. Or rather, the purple princess.

She makes her intentions to dethrone Opal’s tush explicitly clear, which leads to fights all around. Realizing that the angry oppressed outnumber his loyal lackies, Opal makes a run for it in the confusion.

Yes, Lord Garnet saved the angsting blonde eye-candy. You’re welcome.

Meanwhile, Amy ends off by riding her winged unicorn INDOORS like the Drama Queen she is.

IS THAT NOT A MAGNIFICENT STEED? OF COURSE IT IS! LORD GARNET DON’T GIVE GOOD GIRLS NO COAL FOR CHRISTMAS.

SO you know what’s an incredible sign of admiration and trust? Lending your super-awesome Lord Garnet-given pegacorn to your new bat-friend, so you can have a DOUBLE DRAMATIC ENTRANCE.

Meaning, however greatly my baby has been rebooted, she’s still got some 80’s Amy Winston at her core. <3

[chromsai]

Rules: List your five favorite anime characters and tag some people.

Tagged by @pendulum-sonata (thank you dear!.... sorry for this being hella late OTL BIG GOMEN)

So I had like half this post typed up last night weeks ago but my dumbass accidentally deleted it so here goes take 2...

Also I just wanna take this opportunity to gush about my absolute favorite characters so I’m gonna cheat a lil bit by using some video game characters if y’all don’t mind...

Now, without further ado...

1.

Chrom - Fire Emblem Awakening

So, I love Chrom a lot, I figure y’all know that by now right? Chrom is admittedly, como se dice, not the most complex of characters. He is a simple man, really. Prince of Ylisse who doesn’t know much about life outside of leading his rag-tag Shepherds into skirmishes to protect his kingdom, family, and friends, or breaking a few things here and there (because he’s a total klutz). He doesn’t really know how to dress himself properly, as you can see (no, Idfk what he’s wearing either), and he’s terrible at diplomacy (he said so himself). Yet, despite his hopelessly dorky but somehow handsome appearance, he’s also incredibly stubborn and hard-headed, ignorant sometimes but not naiive, extremely loyal, and sometimes even awkward, but he’s always, always seeking to learn from his mistakes and the world around him. He may struggle against his own impulses, but he’s aware of this fault of his and, despite it, fights fiercely for his comrades and works to be someone reliable for them. He’s the man you want by your side because he won’t allow you to drag yourself through the mud, and if you are dragged, then he’ll drag himself right along with you just to make sure you’ll have someone to lean on when you’re struggling to stand right back up again.

Chrom is so unapologetically himself in any situation, be it formal or informal, and it’s inspiring to me in ways that words fail to describe because just watching him go about his life simply being himself and urging you to do the same reminds you: maybe you don’t have to be perfect, and that’s just perfectly fine. He is a reminder of what unconditional love is supposed to look like and it’s a simple thing but it’s always appreciated.

“Remember that you are yourself before you are any man’s son/daughter,” he says to you. I know that he doesn’t think of himself as being very charismatic but everything he does and says would claim otherwise.

1.

Yuya Sakaki - Yu-Gi-Oh! Arc-V

He’s also my number 1 and that’s not a mistake.~

I’ve been a fan of YGO since the anime series debuted in the States (DM). Since 2001, I’ve followed each subsequent entry in the anime franchise and, although I’ve loved this franchise overall, I’ve never really been attached to any of the characters from any YGO show enough to go “Omg I love them.”

That was up until Yuya.

Yuya’s personality resonates with me a lot in various ways. For example, I’m not quite sure how obvious this is to people but I LOVE to make others laugh and smile. It’s one of the best feelings in the world. Life of course unfortunately isn’t just that, and, for better or worse, Yuya knows life’s wide range of emotions all too well. The trajectory his development took from day one all the way through episode 148 was one that touched, broke, and mended my heart on a level that I haven’t felt before or since (and one that, to be quite honest, I’m afraid to experience ever again).

I call him my son because he is truly precious to me. His story changed me and my views on life, all for the better. Lastly, his persona is not only one that I love, but also one that I admire; Yuya Sakaki’s kindness and philosophy is goals. I love him eternally.

Bonus: He is just a damn well written character and has one of the best developments I’ve personally witnessed. He’s raised the standard of what I expect a great shounen protagonist to be.

3.

Lelouch - Code Geass

Look at this asshole.

You don’t know how refreshing it is to view a story from the eyes of a character who is, without a doubt, very morally grey. Like, sure, I’m sure there have been more stories since (and even before) that try this approach but I haven’t ever really found any other characters like him to be quite as compelling. Half the time you really are on his side, and the other half you wish he would just drop dead (not because you hate him, but because you know that’s just the right thing he should do). I know to a lot of people that haven’t seen this show he seems like a basic edge boy, but I assure you he’s quite an idiot. A smart idiot, but still an idiot. With a terrible sense of humor. He very much deals with the consequences of his actions throughout the story and sometimes it’s satisfying (because, yes, he’s a jerk), and other times not so much (because he ultimately does have a heart of gold). He’s just a little tsundere and stubborn and he has very exploitable weaknesses (read: very) so it really does help that he has a flair for the dramatic. Anyway, Lelouch, his wide range of emotions, and his story are extremely entertaining to watch and I love his stupid sassy face.

4.

Neku Sakuraba - The World Ends With You

I love this kid.

So Neku is another character that looks edgy as hell, admittedly, but I assure you he’s soft. Or at least not entirely at first. Yes, he’s also a jerk, but he has his reasons (teen angst, what can I say) but watching the process of him opening up slowly in real time is just *chefs kiss* amazing and heartwarming and gives you hope for the youth of the world. I’ll admit, I first played this game when I was like 14 or so and going through some of my own teen angst, so I found the jerk side of him to be somewhat relatable back then, but the moral of his story didn’t fly by my head even then. It made me happy and it was something nice to learn at that age. Years later, I’m back here playing this game again and I think the lessons Neku learns throughout his little journey in Shibuya really hit you right in the feels, perhaps even more, idk. He’s really inspiring and, like I said, heartwarming and ultimately brings a smile to my face every time. God. Bless this kid. Please.

He needs it.

5.

Rosalina - Mario Series

Did y’all know I fucking LOVE Rosalina. 

She’s not a terribly revolutionary character, but her backstory was so touching to me and I love her character design (f me up she’s fucking gorgeous). My reasons for loving her a pretty simple like that, though on top of it all I relate to her; What with her tendency to adopt cute lil Lumas and giving up everything for them (but also using them to hurt others), Rosalina gets me. She’s also just so cool and calm but she has a fun side to her too. Simple as my reasons are, she’s up there with my favorite characters ever. God I still remember booting up SMG and meeting her for the first time yeah I fucking loved her immediately. Damn. Can’t get me enough Rosalina~

I love her relationships with her precious Luma children so much, I named my car Luma lol

okay, done! Again, thank you for tagging me Rose! Sorry I took forever~ thanks for letting me gush about my faves for a bit, it was very relaxing~

I’m tagging: @dancerladyaqua @pxiao @yutoknight @entermates @skittymon @theabcsofjustice @blueeyeswhitegarden @heliosknight @orasforlife @lilias-amell@moshimichi @timahina @seasaltmemories and @cypsiman2 and anyone else who wants to participate~ you don’t have to if you don’t want to!

[storiesandgarbage]

Ticket Holders Only

Pairings: Steve Rodgers x reader

Style: One-shot

Warnings: None really

Word Count: 2k

Summary: The morale tour had special backstage passes and you managed to win one. Meeting first a boy named Dakota and then the Avengers leads to Steve Rodgers failing desperately at trying to flirt with you. Until he gets a second chance that is...

A/N: Hi! I am working on building my blog up some so here’s another one shot to enjoy! As a tease I just want to inform that I am working on a multi-chapter fic that I will be posting once I make a bit of headway into the story line! Thanks so much for reading lovelies <3

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Steven Rogers, Mister Patriot, Captain America himself. You were finally going to meet him and you were absolutely stoked. You waited in line, clutching the ticket that was the key to this moment. When it was announced in February that the Avengers were doing a morale tour you honestly didn’t get why it was necessary. So much of the country was angry after the events of New York and Sokovia, blaming the Avengers when there were greater powers that caused the havoc, they just put a stop to it. Regardless, the morale tour seemed to be an attempt at gaining the trust of the citizens again and while they already had your trust and more, you weren’t going to miss the chance to be persuaded again.

Admission was free, and there was an opportunity for loads of free stuff, lots of it printed with large STARK logos, but the tickets you had, they were definitely not free. You managed to get yours through a local radio contest, when the morale tour was announced everyone wanted in on it one way or another. The tickets at regular price went to a national charity, but it was clear that not everyone could afford them so there were a very limited number, about 50 tickets in total that were sent out and radio stations had silly contests in order to give them away. You had won yours purely out of luck, you hadn’t even known the station you were listening to was one who had tickets to give, it must’ve been fate that you had been driving that day when the contest happened. Though it did make you nearly wreck your car when you heard it was time to give one away.

 After the admittedly silly stage show you followed the instructions to gather in an area of the lobby. There were about 100 other people around you, most of whom it seemed, based on your overhearing had purchased their tickets. They all gossiped about who they had decided to meet. That was the deal, one ticket, one Avenger. Your choice had been a no brainer, though it seemed not everyone else had the same ease.

While you were waiting what seemed to be an incredibly long time you noticed a boy, sitting in a wheelchair and the blue colored t-shirt he wore bore the words, “Make a Wish”. Your heart immediately hurt. More so than anything because it seemed that the boy was being deliberately avoided by everyone gathered there. Every time someone would stand nearby he would attempt to talk to them but they only politely responded before turning away. His face was beginning to fall but you would be damned if that were going to happen to anyone. You walked over and stuck your hand out.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, what’s your name?” The boy hesitated before reaching out and shaking your hand.

 “I’m Dakota,” he smiled shyly.

“Who are you going to be meeting today?” You asked him, genuinely curious who someone in his position would use their wish on.

“Oh,” he paused, blushing, “I’m meeting all of them.” Your mouth dropped open involuntarily. You were pretty impressed, that was a wish well spent.

“No way!” You exclaimed. “That is so cool!”

 “Yeah, that’s kind of what’s taking so long, the wish people are in there talking to them right now, before they let me in, then I guess they’ll split up like they’re supposed to for everyone else.” He seemed embarrassed, mostly that he was making other people wait to meet the Avengers, as if they would suddenly disappear an hour from now.

“Hey man, don’t worry about it. Patience is a virtue and trust me, everyone here wouldn’t care if they had to wait ten minutes or ten years, they’re just excited for the opportunity at all. Dakota smiled at you then, grateful for your kind words. You chatted a bit about who was your favorite Avenger and who his truly was. You both agreed that the Winter Soldier was pretty cool and while Iron Man was his guy, he respected the admiration of good ole Cap. You silently hoped that this group of people lived up to his expectations. You could sense that he was a good person. After fifteen or so minutes the Wish people and Dakota’s family came out to retrieve him. You smiled at him and gave a small wave.

“Have a great time my dude, don’t forget to show them your drawings!” You were sad to see your new friend go so quickly but you knew he was about to have the time of his life.

“Wait, Y/N” Dakota called out before you could walk away, “why don’t you come with me?” You were stunned, he wanted to share his wish moment with you?

“Are, are you sure?” You asked and looked to the group surrounding Dakota.

“Of course I’m sure! You’re the first person to treat me like an actual human being, not just some sick kid in a long time. I’d be honored if you joined.” The wish people behind Dakota nodded at you, letting you know that you had their permission to join him.

“Well if you insist! Now I can see you tell them that joke you mentioned!” You followed alongside Dakota into the next room over, a conference room and along the far wall the Avengers all stood, waiting for him. He wheeled right up to them and they all began talking and fighting for his attention, the young boy absolutely beamed at their attention. After a few moments he looked back to you, you stood in the corner not wanting to steal his moment. He motioned for you to come over and you did.

“Avengers, this is my friend, Y/N,” He beamed up at you. You looked to the group of frankly intimidating people in front of you and just smiled meekly. The next thirty minutes were one of wonder for you. Each of the members talked to you and to Dakota and you laughed with them, they felt strangely like home. It didn’t hurt that the entire time a certain Captain couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.

“Hi, Y/N, Steve Rodgers,” He stuck his hand out to you and you nearly fainted as you reached out to shake it. You smiled and spoke to him about silly little things, revealing the act that had led you to being able to come in with Dakota. Steve expressed his admiration of your act, he was absolutely smitten with the fact that you went out of your way to make a stranger feel better, not at all knowing his story. You blushed when he complimented you, your heart absolutely melting. Too soon though Dakota grew tired, it was evident and his parents told him it was time to go. He rolled over to your side and told you he was leaving.

“I’ll come with ya bud,” you told him, “I’ll have to get your phone number on the way!” You started to leave and Steve called after you.

“Y/N!” You stopped and turned around, “it was uh, it was really great meeting you, and you too Dakota.” He said lamely hand gripping the back of his neck, obviously flustered. You smiled and waved at him before turning around and walking out the door. You heart was racing, did that really just happen?

As the door closed behind you Bucky turned to Steve, “Well way to go Captain Dumbass” he laughed at his friend who blushed immediately. “Did you even try to ask for her number?” Steve shook his head and looked to Bucky.

“How is it that even after being on earth for 95 years I’m still absolutely horrible at talking to women?” Steve groaned, Bucky just laughed and patted him on the back, leading him to his designated area to meet the rest of the ticket holders.

You parted ways with Dakota, your phone number programmed into his phone and a promise from you to come visit him sealed your friendship. It was only a few seconds after he was out of sight that your heart dropped. You reached into your purse.

“Noooooo,” you groaned, pulling out your vintage Captain America trading card, “I’m such an idiot!” You had wanted Steve to sign it, it was a prized possession of yours and among the excitement you had forgotten. But, you realized you still had that precious ticket in your purse as well.

You ran back to the lines, each group separated by which Avenger they were to meet. You jumped in at the end of Captain’s line and peeked around, there were only about 15 people in front of you, and the lines were moving pretty quickly. You looked down at the card in your hand, smiling because you were going to get to see him again.

When you entered the room there were only a few stragglers left with you trying to get their time with their designated Avenger. You stepped up to the rope which signified you were next to meet Captain America and waited while he talked to another girl and took a selfie with her. You smiled at the way he tried to work the smart phone she owned. He was obviously not very good with technology but he was trying so hard to get a good picture for the girl. She thanked him profusely after she was done and walked away. When he turned to look at you he stopped dead in his tracks.

“Y/N,” he said in disbelief, “how did you?”

“Well, I still hadn’t used my ticket, and I forgot something very important the last time we met.” You explained and he smiled, coming over to you. You held out the card and a sharpie to him.

“I know it’s lame but I’ve had this since I was a little girl, I always looked up to the great Captain America,” you were teasing him and he blushed at your comments. “Please sign it?” You asked him and he immediately obliged, signing the card and handing it back to you.

“Did you, um want a picture as well? Lots of people wanted pictures.” His eyes met yours and your heart skipped a beat.

“Um yeah sure, that would be great!” You reached into your purse and pulled out your phone. He took it from you almost instantly and opened the camera app.

“Now I’m not great at this, but I’m trying to learn,” he offered and you just smiled, coming to his side, he positioned the camera and wrapped a hand around your waist. He took the picture just as you had looked over to him in utter shock. Then another when you looked back to the camera and smiled.

When he was done he opened up the photos, “just want to be sure they look okay” and smiled at your phone. When he handed it back to you he was grinning.

“They’re good pictures,” he decided, you went to open them yourself and take a peak.

“Thank you, so much,” you said, gazing at the photo where you were looking at him. “These are great!”

“And I uh, I put my number in there too.” He said, shy again, “You know, in case you ever wanted to call me.” You looked up into his eyes and dug your fingernail into your palm to make sure you weren’t dreaming. It hurt. Definitely not a dream.

You opened the contacts and saw “Steve Rodgers” on your screen you immediately hit dial and brought the phone to your ear. A few feet away a table held Steve’s phone which immediately starting ringing. Bucky who had been watching the entire exchange picked up the phone and tossed it to Steve who answered.

“I just wanted to check and make sure it was right,” you stated, eyes still locked with his, heart racing.

“And are you satisfied with the outcome?” He asked, hopeful.

“I think I just might be.” You smiled at him and hung up the phone call. “Well thanks again, Captain, it was really wonderful meeting you.” Your tone was teasing, he could tell you were making fun of his earlier statement and just smiled and waved before you turned to walk out the door. As you went you passed Bucky who was holding in a laugh and shaking his head at the two of you. He was glad to see his friend had successfully flirted, and it had only taken two attempts and a trading card to get there.

[mischiefandi]

I’M FUCKINGGG DONE YOU GUYYYYYYZZZZZZZZZZZZZ please read for info and love

It’s official, exams are finally over for me, I get my grades in week! Prepare yourselves because this means I will be hyperactive on here for two full weeks. You’ve been warned lmao. I’m writing tonight but I don’t really know which fic to  start with. 

I’ve begun writing all three of my coming soons but I don't know which one you want to see the most (first), which is why I am gonna have to ask you guys to tell me. Please please please tell me which one you want to read first, it would really help me out, I wanna make you guys happy and I want to thank you for being so patient with me. Click Here  to tell me which one you want to read first! It would mean the world to me! I plan on getting you a fic either by tomorrow or by Thursday!

Now that that’s out of the way, I wanna do a little something. To celebrate my official return to Tumblr and in light of quite a lot of negativity and hate spreading on here these past few weeks,  I wanted to send love and thank the people who have been with me every single step of the way, so buckle up because there are quite a few...

@redstringlovers Sammie my loveeeeeeee <3 We started talking in April and I am so glad I had the courage to approach you. You have become one of my closest friends in all honesty and in such a short amount of time, you got me to open up to you and laugh with you and trust you, so thank you so very much for being such a wonderful friend and an awesome person, I love you so so much and I can’t imagine my life without you in it! (and Shane Dawson, but, that’s a given...)

@hellogoodbyebitch Kat. I honestly can’t tell you how much I enjoy talking to you. You’re always supportive, always kind and considerate, you make me laugh (especially with your punk songs), you’re a kind and good person (you really are) and T deserves you. I love you so much, you have become a huge part of my life and I am so grateful to have you as a friend. 

@dumbass-stilinski Hiya Steff :) I wanted to tell you that some days are really hard for me but you have managed to make me laugh and smile and breathe when no one else could. Thank you for getting me obsessed with the 5sos’ album (I fully believe Michael will fall involve with you), I really cherish our friendship, love ya!

@rxppmxtch okay granted, we haven’t been talking for very long, but I honestly think of you as a friend and I am super excited to get to know you even more and have many many more fun convos with you about the World Cup and other very “interesting” subjects ;)

@honeymoonmuke Hannah, it goes without saying that you are a beautiful soul inside and out, and I really want to thank you for always being there for me. If I can ever return the favour, please don’t hesitate to tell me? I am here for you whenever you need, thank you for being so supportive and understanding and patient and ugh I have no words to describe just how much better you have made things in my life, thank you a million times, thank you *insert hundreds of pink hearts

@dylanobemineforever Hi! Yes you are on this list because dude, even though we’ve only had a few interactions, I hope there will be many more and I want you to know that you are a very cool person that I can’t wait to get to know better. 

@rememberstilinski okay, I couldn’t not put you on this list because kenz, I really really love you. We didn’t talk much but honestly, you are such a kind and nice person, I hope your life is going well and you’re doing good (more than good, I want you to be happy!!). I want you to remember that whenever you feel ready to come talk (absolutely no pressure), I will be here and I will be super happy to shower you with love and stupid puns. Love uuuu

@sumcp It comes to my attention that we’ve never actually talked before, like a real conversation but dude we should!! You seem totally awesome and fun and sweet and your rb on my fics MAKE MY DAY, you have no idea how much it means to me that you even read them! You’re super kind whenever you interact with me and I really appreciate it! DM me whenever!

@itsbilescallmebiles Okay Weird Al, I legit cried when you came back, literal tears and I am SOOOOOO happy you are! I missed you like crazy and we had only been talking for three weeks, that’s crazy! That just shows how much of an attaching person you are and how wonderful your personality is, I know I love it and I really fucking love you. Thank you for being there and supporting me through dark times, I’m just so happy you’re back from the dead dude, here’s to a long and happy friendship in the same timezone

@belleknows Bel! My exams are finally over so as of today I am officially DMing you! I can’t wait to get to know this beautiful person you are and develop a friendship with you! I hope you’re having a great day!

@spxderbarnes Em :)) sweetie!! First off thank you for the masterpiece that is your fic Spontaneous Love, it really does make me smile a lot and it means more to me than you think, second, I love talking to you so much! You’re nice and funny and kind and yeah I love you to bits <3

@susybird Susy honey, I hope it’s going really well with your little ones, I really admire you for taking this kind of stuff on, its honestly inspiring and it just shows how much of an incredible and selfless soul you are! I miss you that’s for sure, but know that we are super excited for this newest addition to your little family and we love you <3 I’m super happy for you and I can’t wait to get an update on how everything’s going. Love you and your positivity and your kindness

Finally, hugeee shoutout to these beautiful people right here @rumoured-whispers @writteninthestarsandthesky @hyperactive2411 @jurrasicpork @flirtstiles @parislight and @oceansirens for reminding me every day of why I have this blog. You guys are always so sweet, you support me every day and make life better, you really do. Don’t think you go unnoticed, trust me you don’t. Thank you all so much, I love you guys!

Okay this was my little positivity fluffy overflow thingy, hahhaa I’m sorry if I didn't mention you or anything, its probably because we don't really talk! I love each and every one of these people and they are all the bestest <3 I hope every single person in the world and on Tumblr is having the best day ever, if you’re not, here is a huge hug and loads of kisses :)

So quick lil reminder, pls go here to help me out?? thank you guys so much (it’s just the 1 question I swear) CLICK HERE

Lots of Love, V

[vardasvapors]

DRUNK LIVEBLOG OF THE AKALLABETH BC I PROMISED @rose-of-the-bright-sea​

Uh unfortunately i’m not too drunk since once again my job was to bounce everyone once the party ended but uhhh it is early morning and i’m still not asleep and i did just spend 5 hours dancing and doing shots so...

ANYWAY: first scene of the Akallabeth, remember how the edain were the only Men who fought against morgoth in the war of wrath etc, and when morgoth was defeated the Evil Men who fought for him ran away and conquered all the Stupid Men who were still living in the middle earth area and these men’s lives sucked and were constantly attacked by orcs and monsters and they were dumb and wild and stuff. this explanation is like 20 kinds of LMAO NARRATIVES but also not like, in a lying way, just in a framing way.

otoh the edain got given a giant island in the middle of the ocean as a reward for fighting against morgoth and stuff, osse and aule and yavanna did it. (valar: ‘have an island way out in the sea’ elros: ‘SOUNDS LEGIT’). meanwhile the elves of ME are long-sufferingly granted permission to come to tol eressea because their lives kinda suck. the difference in the tone of the edain’s gift and the elves’ gift is totally not noticed by the narrator but the fact that avallone was build on the eastern edge of tol eressea where it could be seen from numenor is. lol.

there’s this super gorgeous entrancing description of how earendil burned super bright so that he shone night and day and the edain followed him over the calm enchanted sea until they found the island of numenor -- andor the land of gift, elenna that is starwards. however we all know all this incredible rich storytelling stuff isn’t important compared to the tiny scrap of smugness that can be wrung out of making elros hate earendil and/or elves, bc everyone knows that no character’s narrative matters except the feanorians’.

elves of ME also brought all the edain to numenor and elves of tol eressea gave the edain a ton of tools and gifts and stuff to help build their new nation, but you know it’s fun to headcanon elros as a bitter chest-puffing supercilious self-satisfied little prick who finds these elves embarrassing and blinkered and their existence pitiful and tut-tuttingly Wrong. bc that makes sense and is woke for some reason.

the numenoreans became taller than all the sons of middle earth, not all the men of middle earth, so numenoreans are taller than elves. also they didn’t have a lot of kids, bc i guess population explosions on islands with almost no death outside of like 300 years of old age is a Bad Time.

also “and the light of their eyes was like the bright stars” hahahahahahahahaha lmao! kill me! lies down. does not get up.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS

the numenoreans are super cool and get to talk and visit with both elves of tol eressea and elves of middle earth, which seems to lead to the completely inescapable conclusion that numenor is a place where the peoples of all lands can pass messages to one another but this is never mentioned. the numenoreans could totally also have prob defeated the evil human kings of middle earth if they tried but they were totes peaceful -- at an undefined point in time. nice vague timeline blurring bruh.

instead they like, instructed the dumb middle earth men on how to grow grain and grind flour and make stuff out of wood bc uh i guess the middle earth men are too dumb to figure it out, for “the ordering of their life, such as it might be in the lands of swift death and little bliss” hahahahahaha this is the most condescending line in the entire silm it’s great.

then the numenoreans start getting dissatisfied with how they still gotta die and stuff. it’s vaguely described as being something to do with how even their long lives are still not as long as elves’ loves, but every time i read this it reminds me how pissed about mortality i’d be if my great-great-great-uncle who was totally allowed to choose to become immortal kept popping in to talk about how he got to see the cool millennia of my country’s history first hand and debate with my revered ancestral founding king. so.

however the numenoreans totally brush over these sorts of super compelling and sympathetic and valid points and instead just whine about how they’re A Bigshot Kewl Superior Race and HDU Say We Can’t Control Everything If We Wanna, 36 Presents? But Last Century I Got 37! because they’re fucking useless dumbasses.

The valar reply that Aman Will Not Make You Immortal, Yo, and also that elves being immortal and men being mortal aren’t rewards or punishments, which are reasonable points. they then go on to go ‘TBH shouldn’t WE be the ones envying YOU bc you get to peace out of this clusterfuck world, huh, huh whaddaya think about that. also btw the whole mortality thing is some Secret Plan To Fight Inflation eru came up with, and none of us will know it until you and a bajillion generations of your descendants are all dead, lol!!!!’ THANKS VALAR. THAT’S REALLY HELPFUL. GREAT JOB OF ACTUALLY ADDRESSING ANYTHING THE NUMENOREANS ARE BOTHERED ABOUT. KUDOS. i love dumb gods.

the numenoreans are super dissatisfied but instead of anything constructive the king decides to hold his breath and throw a tantrum stay king until he’s totally senile and his son is old, bc of spite, then numenor gets divided into the king’s men and the faithful. the faithful are also bleh about death but assume that the valar have some kind of good reason for what they said, because um, reasons, i guess. no one says if the reasons are more mindless dogma or more a grounding and strengthening faith, but since numenoreans sound like RL humans to a tee it’s probably both. the king’s men aren’t skeptics tho -- they just conquer and enslave and colonize and steal from middle earth, bc ‘the west was denied to them.’ some fans find this to be a ‘yes, but--’ where it’s not the best thing to do but sympathetic and better than those un-nietzschean faithful. i’m gonna assume every single person who finds this nod-worthy is as White as sour cream.

later on Ar-Gimilzor bans the Faithful’s language, sends secret police or smth to find out everyone who is Faithful and forcibly remove them from their homes, relocate them to Romenna, and corral and watch them, call them and the elves of tol eressea spies, chase them out of numenor, and force the faithful leader’s sister to marry the king. some fans still somehow think this was a morally grey and understandable thing to do because secular-culturally-christian libs are vile and have never parsed a history book in their lives.

Tar-Palantir becomes king after being secretly taught Faithful stuff by his secretly faithful mom, but nothing he does to fix things helps and he eventually dies young from depression. His daughter Tar-Miriel becomes queen but her cousin Ar-Pharazon forces her to marry him and give him the kingship instead. exactly how this happened remains unexplained! Boo! I want more details. Anyway Pharazon is a Fragile Masculinity poster boy and when sauron starts causing trouble he decides he’s just gotta go capture him and bring him to numenor to show off and stroke his ego, bc he is an Heir Of Eärendil and Respect Meehhh!! God this guy sounds SO UNPLEASANTLY FAMILIAR DOESN’T HE EH. (parenthetically i am delighted beyond words at how absolutely bang-on it is that the King’s Men, both here and earlier with the convo with the Valar, totally Do Not Mention the fact that they’re heirs of Elros, not just Earendil, bc that would be super inconvenient to their vision of themselves and their mortality grievance!! lol!!! i love it!!!! god!!!!!!!! *fingers and thumb in a circle emoji*).

anyway sauron is super smart and an awesomesauce genre-savvy villain and way too good for pharazon and he flatters him and manipulates him into making him his councilor and convinces him that the valar are lying and and to worship morgoth and slaughter the faithful by sacrificing them on.....hm....altars....as rebels and as scapegoats for all numenor’s Problems(TM)....>_>....lmao tolkien can be really fucking dumb and scattered about his mythology and religion patchworking, and yet the wokeness-masturbating section of fandom is infinitely worse in the most predictable ways.

WHITE TREE FRACTALS (this time featuring bonus BAMF and Super Awesome And Lovable 21 Year Old Isildur......have i mentioned recently how much i hate peter jackson......)

anyway when Pharazon has a mid-life crisis about getting old sauron also convinces him he can become immortal by invading aman, which he should totally do bc The Strong Do What They Will And The Weak Bear What They Must (remember this is tragically admirable if flawed, because it’s defying fate!) and a super armament is built to invade aman and ar-Pharazon’s ex-bff Amandil who’s secretly friends with the Faithful freaks and makes secret plans to sail to valinor to beg the valar to do something and has his son elendil prepare to go to middle earth to see the elves who are hunkered down there doing.....uhhhhh???? probably hiding from numenorean conquest????

but anyway when pharazon invades aman and chases the elves out of tol eressea and then tirion, he has a Uh-Oh I Think This Was A Bad Idea feeling but can’t back down now so he lands ashore and camps out around tirion and then manwe prays to eru to bail everyone out and says he will lay down rule of arda for a minute since he doesn’t know what to do, presumably a la ‘omg dad i fucked up and totally crashed your car,’ and eru solves this by getting ar-pharazon & co buried under a mountain until the end of the world (funny how so few fans ever address this thing re: tirion in valinor fanfic eh? oh yeah i forgot silm fans don’t give a shit about humans), opening up a big crack in the ocean, pulling aman and tol eressea out into space, turning the earth from flat to spherical, and letting the island of numenor get buried under the resulting tidal wave and fall down the crack to wherever. because you know overkill is great! also sauron is too busy doing an Evil Villain Laugh to realize he’s about to get drowned and he totally dies and has to make himself a new body out of Anger and he’s now ugly, which sucks for the fanartists.

anyway manwe saves elendil and his fleet (it doesn’t say manwe, but it does say ‘but the great wind took [elendil], wilder than any wind that Men had known, roaring from the west, and it swept his ships far away...’ which, duh) and they wind up washed up on middle earth, but totally grief-stricken over the destruction of numenor.

I can’t liveblog the rest any better than verbatim so I’ll just quote:

Among the Exiles many believed that the summit of the Meneltarma, the Pillar of Heaven, was not drowned for ever, but rose again above the waves, a lonely island lost in the great waters; for it had been a hallowed place, and even in the days of Sauron none had defiled it And some there were of the seed of Eärendil that afterwards sought for it, because it was said among loremasters that the far-sighted men of old could see from the Meneltarma a glimmer of the Deathless Land. For even after the ruin the hearts of the Dúnedain were still set westwards; and though they knew indeed that the world was changed, they said: 'Avallónë is vanished from the Earth and the Land of Aman is taken away, and in the world of this present darkness they cannot be found. Yet once they were, and therefore they still are, in true being and in the whole shape of the world as at first it was devised.'

For the Dúnedain held that even mortal Men, if so blessed, might look upon other times than those of their bodies' life; and they longed ever to escape from the shadows of their exile and to see in some fashion the light that dies not; for the sorrow of the thought of death had pursued them over the deeps of the sea. Thus it was that great mariners among them would still search the empty seas, hoping to come upon the Isle of Meneltarma, and there to see a vision of things that were. But they found it not. And those that sailed far came only to the new lands, and found them like to the old lands, and subject to death. And those that sailed furthest set but a girdle about the Earth and returned weary at last to the place of their beginning; and they said:

'All roads are now bent.'

Thus in after days, what by the voyages of ships, what by lore and star-craft, the kings of Men knew that the world was indeed made round, and yet the Eldar were permitted still to depart and to come to the Ancient West and to Avallónë, if they would. Therefore the loremasters of Men said that a Straight Road must still be, for those that were permitted to find it. And they taught that, while the new world fell away, the old road and the path of the memory of the West still went on, as it were a mighty bridge invisible that passed through the air of breath and of flight (which were bent now as the world was bent), and traversed Ilmen which flesh unaided cannot endure, until it came to Tol Eressëa, the Lonely Isle, and maybe even beyond, to Valinor, where the Valar still dwell and watch the unfolding of the story of the world. And tales and rumours arose along the shores of the sea concerning mariners and men forlorn upon the water who, by some fate or grace or favour of the Valar, had entered in upon the Straight Way and seen the face of the world sink below them, and so had come to the lamplit quays of Avallónë, or verily to the last beaches on the margin of Aman, and there had looked upon the White Mountain, dreadful and beautiful, before they died.

[ohnooooonedirection]

Three days after the release of his self-titled debut album, and six days after he wore a now-iconic pink suit during a Today show performance, lesbian pop-rock twin bandmates Tegan and Sara tweeted a confession about Harry Styles from their account: “I have a very real crush on @Harry_Styles. Loving the new album and the high waisted wide leg pants.” Check the replies to this admission from mid-May to find a smattering of solidarity from Tegan and Sara fans: “Same.” “Same.” “Same.” “You’re not alone.” “Lesbians for Harry Styles Unite (LHSU).”

The entire internet had a crush, really. And while Tegan and Sara may be the most famous queer women to make their love for Harry (and his style) public, they’re just the tip of the iceberg that is the gay-lady Styles hive. The Great British Bake Off’s Ruby Tandoh wrote a recipe for “Harry Styles’ Dutch Baby with Cinnamon Rhubarb.” Former BuzzFeed writer Katie Heaney (along with current BuzzFeed Books editor Arianna Rebolini) wrote a whole damn book inspired by their love of Harry. My girlfriend has a One Direction wall calendar, and wholeheartedly plans to re-up for 2018. As a queer woman with lukewarm feelings toward the singer, I kept finding myself thinking, What the fuck is up with queer girls and Harry Styles?

Queer women have always rallied around their likeness in pop culture: Ellen DeGeneres, Joan Jett, and pretty much the entire US women’s national soccer team all sit squarely in the elite category of lesbian celebrity icons. It’s not terribly common for queer women to rally around a cis man in the same way. Sure, people love to joke that Justin Bieber and Cole Sprouse look like lesbians, and queer women have harvested fashion inspiration from James Dean and Marlon Brando for decades. But it’s much less common for a cis man to be the subject of a full-blown lesbian pop-culture obsession.

Once he went solo, folks who hadn’t paid attention to 1D started eating up what his fans had obsessed over for years: Harry's sexual ambiguity, androgynous style, boy band appeal, and relatively progressive social awareness. It’s what many women I spoke with characterized as Harry’s “magic.”

I found that Harry Styles means something slightly different to each of his fans. He possesses an ability to be whoever you want him to be. When the lines are blurred between stage persona and social media persona and real persona, when it’s unclear what’s fact and what’s fiction, when his sexuality is an open question, a character is born. Fans can project their own desires onto Harry, in the quiet of their imagination or in their own fanfiction or in group iMessage threads with fellow fans. That’s the magic of Harry.

And that’s the Harry that queer women get so obsessed with. That’s the Harry who has even inspired some women, in becoming infatuated with him, to recognize their own queerness.

Men herald Cher and Whitney and Gaga as their gay pop idols. Have queer women chosen Harry Styles?

One Direction came to fame in 2011 and 2012 by offering a near-24/7 window into their lives, thanks to social media. Twitter and Tumblr livestreams gave fans access to whatever the five cute teens were up to at almost any given time. Fans had an insurmountable pile of content to consume: photos and videos of the boys just pallin’ around backstage on tour, or performing for packed arenas, or pondering their endearingly silly teenage thoughts aloud. No boy band before One Direction roared to fame in such an all-consuming and intimate way, as the technology wasn’t there yet. That near-constant barrage of content gave their OG fans (mainly teenage girls and young women) a feeling of truly knowing the boys. And with that, a sense of ownership over their rise to fame — a sense of ownership of the boys themselves.

Fans immediately fell for the youngest of the group, Harry Styles. Raised in a tiny village equidistant from Liverpool and Manchester, he wields a relentlessly British charisma. Even from the get-go, Harry publicly radiated charm. His boyishness, his ease on camera, his frog prince face — it’s almost unfair how easy it was to love this kid. He exuded, as many celebrities and so few 16-year-olds do, a complete ease in his own skin. According to fans, he seemed to genuinely not give a fuck what people thought about him.

Harry’s either a very reserved person or is incredibly well media-trained — likely some combination of the two. He rarely shares personal details in interviews, which, as several women I spoke with concluded, makes him very easy to project an imagined personality onto. Compound that mystique with his enigmatic androgyny and surreal level of fame, and Harry is a perfect blank slate.

And thus, a fandom was born. And with every good fandom comes fanfic. And lots of that fanfic is gay. Very, very gay.

Slash fanfic is far from unique to One Direction, but 1D fans took up slash fic in a major way. The main coupling shipped in fic was Harry Styles and bandmate Louis Tomlinson, coined “Larry Stylinson.” Fans went so far as to speculate a real-life romance between the two lads. Though, it didn’t stop with Larry. From stories of Harry and bandmate Niall Horan hooking up on tour to a sentimental imagined romance between Harry and British radio personality Nick Grimshaw, there is a near-infinite trove of gay fanfic involving Harry Styles. In One Direction’s heyday, especially from 2013 through 2015, Tumblr was ablaze with stories of trysts between the boys. This, of course, says more about the fans themselves than of Harry’s own real-life sexuality.

The One Direction fandom really latched onto the Larry slash fic. Julia, a 32-year-old Harry devotee, told me she would read Harry fic “half turned-on, half, like, academically.” This phenomenon, too — of women being into gay male porn — is a well-established one. (Remember that scene in The Kids Are All Right where two wives watch porn, and how people lost their damn minds they were so confused?) Taking heterosexuality out of the equation in porn complicates gender power dynamics in a way that really works for lots of women. So, it makes sense that that phenomenon would translate to 1D fic. Those cute British boys were like queer-girl sex bait.

Let’s make one thing clear: Harry Styles looks like a hot lesbian. With a wiry frame, effeminate features, a shaggy mop, and an enviable wardrobe of floral prints and eye-popping suiting, he’s an absolute Shane. If you’ve never noticed this, perhaps you should hang out with more lesbians.

His fashion sense — that is, fashion not designed to flatter only men — is central to most queer women’s admiration for the pop star. I mean, come on: Those suits! Harry’s bottomless cache of dazzling two-piece suits and patterned blouses has made him a bit of a lesbian fashion icon. “I don’t wear suits often, or hardly ever — but I always want his suits,” says Katie, noting his penchant for sporting outfits that would look great on men and women alike. My girlfriend, Fran, asserts her “personal fandom is rooted in all of his outfits.” (Good answer.) I’m not sure if queer women are suddenly running out and buying Styles-esque suits, but they’re certainly fun to drool over.

Harry came to adopt his now-notorious personal style throughout 2015. It was at this time, too, that he grew his hair down past his shoulders, which amplified his androgynous looks. This androgyny piqued his queer fans’ affection. Even Sara Quin admitted to GQ that she grew her own hair out to look like Harry’s. For many women, long-haired, end-of-One-Direction Harry was a glory age of sorts. “There was a specific moment from late 2014 through early 2016 where he had this long hair and was wearing all YSL, where he was for me, in some magical witch way,” says Julia. He wasn’t a little boy holding hands with Taylor Swift anymore — his presentation had matured into something much more interesting. Something a little queerer.

Styles wears printed two-piece suits while performing in September 2017.

Of course, Justin Bieber was the original “looks like a lesbian” pop star of the social media era. If you’ve never noticed (again, see my above note about hanging out with more lesbians), mid-puberty Justin Bieber looked a lot like an androgynous-leaning woman. Internet lesbians embraced this comparison, and in 2010 the blog of viral fame Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber was born. Women would submit photos (mostly selfies) where their looks were particularly reminiscent of the then-teenage Biebs. (The Tumblr’s most recent post is from April 2017, so it’s not officially dead, just past its heyday.) The account posted masses of photosbetween 2009 and 2012; it was a truly excellent meme.

But IRL, Justin Bieber appears to be — what’s the phrase? — oh, aggressively heterosexual. He very publicly dated Selena Gomez, joined a church that “does not affirm a gay lifestyle,” and has a habit of sliding into random women’s DMs like a true 23-year-old dumbass. Honestly, Bieber’s severe straightness is the perfect punchline after years of Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. While he may sport effeminate features (even post-puberty), the star doesn’t represent any sort of queerness in the pop sphere.

Harry Styles, on the other hand, prefers to publicly retain a level of sexual mystique not dissimilar to Bowie and Prince. In the six years that Styles has been in the public eye, his own sexuality has remained an enigma. Even though fans have long speculated about a romance between Harry and Louis Tomlinson, Louis has outright denied any romance between the two — but Harry never has. On the whole, he prefers to keep his own sexuality undefined.

On a 2014 press junket, the British singer said being female was “not that important” a quality in someone he would date. In an interview with the Sun this past May, Harry declines to label his sexuality, seeming to confirm a fluidity fans had long sensed. Since their 2015 On the Road Again tour, it’s become a bit of a tradition at shows for Harry to parade around stage with pride flags brought by fans.

But, hey, coyness doesn’t equal...well, anything. For all we know, Styles has no interest in men whatsoever. He might reach Justin Bieber level on the Het Dude scale behind closed doors. My cynical side suspects he knows that coming out as straight, now, could very well alienate a large portion of the singer’s fanbase. Instead, he gets the best of both worlds by keeping things vague. Having his rainbow cake and eating it too, as it were.

But it ultimately doesn’t matter whether Harry Styles is gay or straight or one of the many other iterations of human sexuality. What’s important is that he appears to publicly champion non-definition.

FULL ARTICLE

[noahfence1d]

Three days after the release of his self-titled debut album, and six days after he wore a now-iconic pink suit during a Today show performance, lesbian pop-rock twin bandmates Tegan and Sara tweeted a confession about Harry Styles from their account: “I have a very real crush on @Harry_Styles. Loving the new album and the high waisted wide leg pants.” Check the replies to this admission from mid-May to find a smattering of solidarity from Tegan and Sara fans: “Same.” “Same.” “Same.” “You’re not alone.” “Lesbians for Harry Styles Unite (LHSU).”

The entire internet had a crush, really. And while Tegan and Sara may be the most famous queer women to make their love for Harry (and his style) public, they’re just the tip of the iceberg that is the gay-lady Styles hive. The Great British Bake Off’s Ruby Tandoh wrote a recipe for “Harry Styles’ Dutch Baby with Cinnamon Rhubarb.” Former BuzzFeed writer Katie Heaney (along with current BuzzFeed Books editor Arianna Rebolini) wrote a whole damn book inspired by their love of Harry. My girlfriend has a One Direction wall calendar, and wholeheartedly plans to re-up for 2018. As a queer woman with lukewarm feelings toward the singer, I kept finding myself thinking, What the fuck is up with queer girls and Harry Styles?

Queer women have always rallied around their likeness in pop culture: Ellen DeGeneres, Joan Jett, and pretty much the entire US women’s national soccer team all sit squarely in the elite category of lesbian celebrity icons. It’s not terribly common for queer women to rally around a cis man in the same way. Sure, people love to joke that Justin Bieber and Cole Sprouse look like lesbians, and queer women have harvested fashion inspiration from James Dean and Marlon Brando for decades. But it’s much less common for a cis man to be the subject of a full-blown lesbian pop-culture obsession.

Once he went solo, folks who hadn’t paid attention to 1D started eating up what his fans had obsessed over for years: Harry's sexual ambiguity, androgynous style, boy band appeal, and relatively progressive social awareness. It’s what many women I spoke with characterized as Harry’s “magic.”

I found that Harry Styles means something slightly different to each of his fans. He possesses an ability to be whoever you want him to be. When the lines are blurred between stage persona and social media persona and real persona, when it’s unclear what’s fact and what’s fiction, when his sexuality is an open question, a character is born. Fans can project their own desires onto Harry, in the quiet of their imagination or in their own fanfiction or in group iMessage threads with fellow fans. That’s the magic of Harry.

And that’s the Harry that queer women get so obsessed with. That’s the Harry who has even inspired some women, in becoming infatuated with him, to recognize their own queerness.

Men herald Cher and Whitney and Gaga as their gay pop idols. Have queer women chosen Harry Styles?

One Direction came to fame in 2011 and 2012 by offering a near-24/7 window into their lives, thanks to social media. Twitter and Tumblr livestreams gave fans access to whatever the five cute teens were up to at almost any given time. Fans had an insurmountable pile of content to consume: photos and videos of the boys just pallin’ around backstage on tour, or performing for packed arenas, or pondering their endearingly silly teenage thoughts aloud. No boy band before One Direction roared to fame in such an all-consuming and intimate way, as the technology wasn’t there yet. That near-constant barrage of content gave their OG fans (mainly teenage girls and young women) a feeling of truly knowing the boys. And with that, a sense of ownership over their rise to fame — a sense of ownership of the boys themselves.

Fans immediately fell for the youngest of the group, Harry Styles. Raised in a tiny village equidistant from Liverpool and Manchester, he wields a relentlessly British charisma. Even from the get-go, Harry publicly radiated charm. His boyishness, his ease on camera, his frog prince face — it’s almost unfair how easy it was to love this kid. He exuded, as many celebrities and so few 16-year-olds do, a complete ease in his own skin. According to fans, he seemed to genuinely not give a fuck what people thought about him.

Harry’s either a very reserved person or is incredibly well media-trained — likely some combination of the two. He rarely shares personal details in interviews, which, as several women I spoke with concluded, makes him very easy to project an imagined personality onto. Compound that mystique with his enigmatic androgyny and surreal level of fame, and Harry is a perfect blank slate.

And thus, a fandom was born. And with every good fandom comes fanfic. And lots of that fanfic is gay. Very, very gay.

Slash fanfic is far from unique to One Direction, but 1D fans took up slash fic in a major way. The main coupling shipped in fic was Harry Styles and bandmate Louis Tomlinson, coined “Larry Stylinson.” Fans went so far as to speculate a real-life romance between the two lads. Though, it didn’t stop with Larry. From stories of Harry and bandmate Niall Horan hooking up on tour to a sentimental imagined romance between Harry and British radio personality Nick Grimshaw, there is a near-infinite trove of gay fanfic involving Harry Styles. In One Direction’s heyday, especially from 2013 through 2015, Tumblr was ablaze with stories of trysts between the boys. This, of course, says more about the fans themselves than of Harry’s own real-life sexuality.

The One Direction fandom really latched onto the Larry slash fic. Julia, a 32-year-old Harry devotee, told me she would read Harry fic “half turned-on, half, like, academically.” This phenomenon, too — of women being into gay male porn — is a well-established one. (Remember that scene in The Kids Are All Right where two wives watch porn, and how people lost their damn minds they were so confused?) Taking heterosexuality out of the equation in porn complicates gender power dynamics in a way that really works for lots of women. So, it makes sense that that phenomenon would translate to 1D fic. Those cute British boys were like queer-girl sex bait.

Let’s make one thing clear: Harry Styles looks like a hot lesbian. With a wiry frame, effeminate features, a shaggy mop, and an enviable wardrobe of floral prints and eye-popping suiting, he’s an absolute Shane. If you’ve never noticed this, perhaps you should hang out with more lesbians.

His fashion sense — that is, fashion not designed to flatter only men — is central to most queer women’s admiration for the pop star. I mean, come on: Those suits! Harry’s bottomless cache of dazzling two-piece suits and patterned blouses has made him a bit of a lesbian fashion icon. “I don’t wear suits often, or hardly ever — but I always want his suits,” says Katie, noting his penchant for sporting outfits that would look great on men and women alike. My girlfriend, Fran, asserts her “personal fandom is rooted in all of his outfits.” (Good answer.) I’m not sure if queer women are suddenly running out and buying Styles-esque suits, but they’re certainly fun to drool over.

Harry came to adopt his now-notorious personal style throughout 2015. It was at this time, too, that he grew his hair down past his shoulders, which amplified his androgynous looks. This androgyny piqued his queer fans’ affection. Even Sara Quin admitted to GQ that she grew her own hair out to look like Harry’s. For many women, long-haired, end-of-One-Direction Harry was a glory age of sorts. “There was a specific moment from late 2014 through early 2016 where he had this long hair and was wearing all YSL, where he was for me, in some magical witch way,” says Julia. He wasn’t a little boy holding hands with Taylor Swift anymore — his presentation had matured into something much more interesting. Something a little queerer.

Of course, Justin Bieber was the original “looks like a lesbian” pop star of the social media era. If you’ve never noticed (again, see my above note about hanging out with more lesbians), mid-puberty Justin Bieber looked a lot like an androgynous-leaning woman. Internet lesbians embraced this comparison, and in 2010 the blog of viral fame Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber was born. Women would submit photos (mostly selfies) where their looks were particularly reminiscent of the then-teenage Biebs. (The Tumblr’s most recent post is from April 2017, so it’s not officially dead, just past its heyday.) The account posted masses of photos between 2009 and 2012; it was a truly excellent meme.

But IRL, Justin Bieber appears to be — what’s the phrase? — oh, aggressively heterosexual. He very publicly dated Selena Gomez, joined a church that “does not affirm a gay lifestyle,” and has a habit of sliding into random women’s DMs like a true 23-year-old dumbass. Honestly, Bieber’s severe straightness is the perfect punchline after years of Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber. While he may sport effeminate features (even post-puberty), the star doesn’t represent any sort of queerness in the pop sphere.

Harry Styles, on the other hand, prefers to publicly retain a level of sexual mystique not dissimilar to Bowie and Prince. In the six years that Styles has been in the public eye, his own sexuality has remained an enigma. Even though fans have long speculated about a romance between Harry and Louis Tomlinson, Louis has outright denied any romance between the two — but Harry never has. On the whole, he prefers to keep his own sexuality undefined.

On a 2014 press junket, the British singer said being female was “not that important” a quality in someone he would date. In an interview with the Sun this past May, Harry declines to label his sexuality, seeming to confirm a fluidity fans had long sensed. Since their 2015 On the Road Again tour, it’s become a bit of a tradition at shows for Harry to parade around stage with pride flags brought by fans.

But, hey, coyness doesn’t equal...well, anything. For all we know, Styles has no interest in men whatsoever. He might reach Justin Bieber level on the Het Dude scale behind closed doors. My cynical side suspects he knows that coming out as straight, now, could very well alienate a large portion of the singer’s fanbase. Instead, he gets the best of both worlds by keeping things vague. Having his rainbow cake and eating it too, as it were.

But it ultimately doesn’t matter whether Harry Styles is gay or straight or one of the many other iterations of human sexuality. What’s important is that he appears to publicly champion non-definition.

Generally speaking, women tend to exist in a state of sexual fluidity more often than men do. A 2015 study from the University of Notre Dame found that women were three times more likely than men to report a shift in their sexual orientation, and more likely than men to identify as bisexual. What’s more, younger generations of LGBT people have been embracing fluidity and rejecting traditional labels of sexuality. A 2016 study found only 48% of Generation Z identified as exclusively heterosexual, compared with 65% of millennials.

So then, perhaps it’s Harry’s refusal to conform to mainstream sexual terminology that makes him so appealing to queer women. For many, seeing a pop star of extreme fame not only embrace a refusal to label, but appear to thrive in that gray area of sexuality, might be a relief. Sure, his private life could very well be less fluid. But publicly rejecting the notion of being “gay” or “straight” or “bisexual” — all of which have clear meanings — could be, for many non-straight women, something to celebrate.

But that, too, is an oversimplification of why queer women go fucking bananas for Harry Styles. After all, plenty of other celebrities keep their sexuality shrouded in mystery, or just choose to remain in the glass closet. So, still, why Harry?

On the topic of sexual fluidity, let’s get another thing out of the way: It’s not that queer women necessarily want to fuck Harry Styles. Sure, women tend not to adhere to gendered boundaries of attraction as rigidly as men do. But the Harry Styles obsession, for most gay women, is not “He’s so hot that I’d go straight for him,” nor is it “He looks like a lesbian, so that turns me on even though he’s a dude.” This love is not anchored in wanting to bone Harry. (Though, yeah, some would love to bone Harry.)

Hug? Yes. Flirting? Definitely. Engage in a drawn-out, rom-com-esque love affair that ends in kissing? Surprisingly, yes. But it’s not about sex in a straightforward sense.

“Addie” (who asked not to be named), a 29-year-old queer writer, would put wanting to sleep with Harry at, “like, number 17 of the reasons why I’m intrigued by him.” For Addie, “it's more of a kindred spirit situation, and I'd rather be him, or be like him, than sleep with him.” This feeling’s pretty common for queer people; think about gay men with Madonna or Beyoncé or Carly Rae Jepsen. Queer kids, before really tussling with their sexualities, often conflate these feelings of admiration with sexual attraction.

Julia has sexual fantasies starring Harry Styles, yes. But she clarifies that if the real-life Harry Styles made a move on her, she’d probably reject the advances. She then goes on to detail, “basically I want to watch him get fucked, then also zip his skin around me in a suit.” So, suffice it to say, these feelings are sexual, sure; but none of the women I spoke to were lusting after the real Harry Styles. Just the fanfic-born idea of Harry.

For some women, like Katie, their crush on Harry Styles is like a middle school crush: pure, nonsexual, anchored in cuteness and kindness. The kind of crush you had before you really understood your own sexuality whatsoever. “I can give myself flies thinking about Harry Styles flirting with me,” says Katie. “But my imagination ends there.” Similarly, Fran describes her ideal, real-life relationship with Harry to be “someone I see at four to six parties per year who I always flirt with, and who reciprocates, but literally nothing [sexual] ever happens.” (Again...good answer.)

And it’s not strictly about the music, either. Some women connect to the music itself, while others love it merely as an extension of Harry’s existence, like the “magical” era of long-haired Harry, mid-to-late 1D — once he was no longer the squeaky teen he was on The X Factor — holds a special place in the hearts of fans. Several fans cited the band’s 2013 album, Midnight Memories, in particular. Solo Harry falls more into the category of mom-like pride in their grown-up boy: “I love it because it’s Harry.” As Julia says, “Does a mother like her child’s macaroni art? Objectively, no. But yes, it’s the best thing she’s ever seen. I listen to [One Direction’s music] because I like to have them in my ears, but not because I like it.”

Fandoms are a funny thing. They can elicit such intense and unexpected joy, and the resulting friendships, more often than not, come to overshadow the thing itself. It’s like sports: It’s nice to have a thing, completely out of your control, that’s fun to talk about and obsess over without any actual, real-life stakes. A bizarre interview prompts an inside joke, a trek to a concert in New Jersey prompts another, and over time real-life, intimate friendships have been stitched. Addie tells me her life as a Harry stan brought her a whole new slate of queer women friends, including Julia. The One Direction community is far from the first one queer women have bonded over online: Everything from Buffy to The Social Network to American Idol has had rabid, fanfic-penning queer fans online. But still, it’s had quite a robust impact on the lives of many queer women.

For some queer women, the particular joy unveiled in the Harry Styles fandom is and was a newfound sense of connection to one’s own body and sexuality. Perhaps the strangest and most notable part of all this is the women who attribute their realization that they’re gay, in some part, to their love for Harry Styles.

Julia remembers the exact moment she realized she was gay, at age 29. It was early 2014, and she’d been consuming as much Harry content as possible over the previous two months — photos, videos, fanfic, the works. One evening, she and a friend were exchanging emails about Harry (you know, normal things), when she was sent an email of about a dozen GIFs of Harry Styles (naturally). Something struck her.

“I remember so clearly looking at those GIFs of Harry and being like, ‘I’m gay,’” she recounts. “I can’t really explain why… Something about this has unleashed a reality within me that’s like, I know myself now.” Julia attributes her sudden connection to herself and her sexuality to her love for this androgynous-leaning, charismatic pop star. It was wrapped up in her realizing she had a crush on a woman, who she now realizes she was conflating with Harry.

A similar thing happened to Katie Heaney. Her love for Harry, which peaked in 2014–15, “was much timed to my sexual awakening in my late twenties. I was completely obsessed with a boy band — for the first time in my life — at the exact moment that I’m turning away from men in general.” Julia and Katie’s stories are not identical (as no two coming-out experiences are), but are both inextricably linked to their fixation on Harry. Both women also describe feeling a sort of “second adolescence” during their coming-out periods. (Imagine feeling all that crazy, intense horniness and obsession, but with a parent-free apartment, a 401K, and a decade’s worth of weird pseudo-exes. That’s what coming out later in life is like.)

Perhaps Katie and Julia’s unapologetic love for a teen boy band sparked that second adolescence, or vice versa. In any case, the near-crazed feelings of boy band fandom and teen-esque sexual discovery can go hand-in-hand.

There’s no crystallized explanation for why so many queer women love Harry Styles so achingly. I’ve learned that the avenues by which fans arrive at Harry appear to be as multifarious as those to arrive at one’s own sexuality. I guess all I’m saying is, perhaps more lesbian bars could stay in business by adopting Harry Styles cosplay nights. If given the opportunity to exist as Harry, as this idealized prism of confidence and androgyny and fluidity and glitter and youthful joy — well, who wouldn’t come out for that?

[dylanthoran-blog]

Dungeons and Dumbasses 1: He’s a Mimic

Rede looked back over at the rest of his comrades, “Alright guys, this place is of some renown so can we PLEASE behave.” He sighed and glared at Shade and Walker.

“Place of high esteem?” Walker twitched slightly, “Mimics.”

“There won’t be any god damn mimics!” Rede shouted at him annoyed.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Walker hissed back as he crept along at the back of the group.

Calie shook her head and placed a calm hand on Rede’s shoulder, “We’ll be fine. We’ll only be here for a little bit.”

Rede grumbled to himself, “I hope so.” He shook his head as they neared the entrance into the White Stallion establishment. The owners refused to let the place be called a tavern as it was too high class for such a city name. Rede pushed the large wooden doors open that had twin stallions carved into their faces. He was surprised to see that the place was completely empty of customers, as the only living being in the room was the formally dressed man on the other side.

Calie signaled for Walker, Shade, and Gorgos, their other companion, to sit down at one of the tables while Rede and her talked to the man here. The formally dressed man smiled and waved as he walked up to greet them, “Hello and welcome to the White Stallion!” He spoke with a enthusiastic voice, “We aren’t open for drinks right now, but if you need a place to rest I’m more than willing to accommodate you!”

Calie smiled at him warmly as Rede glanced back at the rest of their party, “No thank you,” She said, “We actually are here to talk to someone of importance in relation to the White Stallion. Rumor had it that they are looking for some brace adventurers to hire.”

The man opened up his arms and bowed slightly to them, “Baxter Carir, co-founder of the White Stallion. Bar-keep at the crossroads tell you about us?”

“Sure did.” Rede spoke up, “What do you need help with.”

Baxter eyed over the whole party, “What skill sets do you all bring to the table?”

“Walker back there, the short, twitchy, gnome, is an insanely skilled rogue,” Calie told him, “The elf wearing the menacing, cult-like robes, Shade, is the best damned alchemist we’ve ever met, Gorgos is our oversized orc raging barbarian, she’s an absolute monster on the battlefield, I’m Calie, mandatory party tank.”

“And I’m the mandatory party priest.” Rede told him, “Gotta have heals we can count on.”

“Hmmm…” Baxter nodded at them pleased, “And what sort of accom-“ His eyes popped wide open as he peered past the pair back at the three at the table, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY TABLE?!?” He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Rede and Calie turned around instantly and to their dismay saw Walker slowly pressing the tip of his dagger into the table, “Dammit, Walker!” Rede shouted at him.

Walker immediately put his dagger away and looked around the room in confusion, “What?” He asked innocently.

“Do you have any idea how expensive these tables are?” Baxter shouted at him, “That will coming directly out of payment for your services.”

Walker narrowed his eyes at Baxter and slowly got up, “If there’s one thing I’ve learned after all these years…” He spoke in a scratchy voice as he slowly walked up towards Baxter, “It’s to never trust a mimic. Anything, anywhere, at anytime could be one. The table we were sitting at, the chairs, the candlesticks, maybe the bottle of wine you’re going to pour, of the chandelier-“ He paused for a second as he was now right in front of Baxter. His eyes snapped up and looked deep into Baxter’s, “Maybe even you.”

Baxter simply stared at Walker in a mixture of shock and fear, “He’s not a bloody mimic!” Rede shook his head, “I don’t even think that’s how they work!”

Instantly Walker’s dagger was out and at Baxter’s crotch, “I’ll be the judge of that.” He hissed.

“Terribly sorry about this.” Calie shook her head as she spoke, “Walker has an unnatural fear of mimics ever since he lost his favorite daggers to one way back when. He’s dedicated his life to finding and killing ever last one he can. We will take whatever pay deductions you feel are necessary for his actions.”

Baxter shook his head, “I can’t say I’ve ever been treated like this befo-“

“HE’S A MIMIC!” Walker screamed as he shot his dagger deep inbetween Baxter’s legs.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Rede shouted at him. Suddenly he froze as Baxter’s effortlessly leapt off of Walker’s dagger and across the room. Suddenly his skin and flesh started to twist and twitch inhumanely. “Oh you have got to be kidding me…He’s a mimic.”

“I knew it all along…” Walker mumbled to himself as he slipped into the shadows.

Shade and Gorgos walked up next t them reading themselves for battle, “Fight? Kill?” Gorgos asked excitedly as she eyed the human that was turning into a mimic.

“Yes, dear.” Calie smiled at her as she pulled out her sword and shield, “Fight, kill.”

The fight was fast, fierce, and freaky. Frankly none of them had ever seen a mimic using the body of a human. Seeing a mimic as a table, or a chair, or a chest was one thing, but to witness the monstrosity of this fleshy being as a human was nerve racking. Rede took a deep breath and finished healing Calie and Gorgos back up while Shade popped open one of his/her own homemade health potions downing it. “Well, shit.” Rede grumbled, “Now how the hell are we supposed to get paid?”

“We can loot this place.” Walker shrugged as he knelt down over the mimic’s dead body.

Rede groaned, “What are we now? Thieves?”

“I’ve always been a thief.” Walker smirked as he slowly started to search through the mimic’s pockets.

“I do it on and off,” Shade admitted, “Always for science though.”

“Gorgos want? Gorgos take!” She smiled proudly down at Rede.

Rede shook his head sighed. Calie chuckled and placed a hand on his shoulder, “Why not? I’m pretty sure the other owner of this place won’t give us his quest, or payment for that matter. In fact,” She glanced around the room, which was a complete mess from their fight, “He might try to incarcerate us due to nearly demolishing his whole bar. If he’s gonna hate us already…”

Rede ran his hands through his hair and calmed himself down, “Alright fine, let’s loot this place up. We need coin desperately.”

Shade smiled at him, “I don’t think we need your permission to do so.” Shade licked his/her lips, winked, and quickly started scrounging around the area.

“Humph!” Walker stood back up and kicked the mimic’s dead body in annoyance, “Mimics.” He grumbled.

“The hell you looking for?” Calie asked him.

Walker slowly turned towards her and glared into her eyes, “Never. Trust. A mimic.” He quickly snapped back around and leapt over the cracked marble counter in search of some fine liquor.

Rede rolled his eyes in contempt and worked with Calie to find some coins. A few minutes had passed, mostly in silence, as the party all searched for anything of value or that they wished to keep for themselves. “WHAT IN THE GODS’ NAMES?” Calie shrieked shattering the tranquil robbery. Rede quickly looked back towards her and threw up slightly in his mouth as Gorgos had taken the mimic’s corpse, ripped it’s limbs off, and proceeded to rearranged it’s body parts into some grotesque looking totem or shine.

Gorgos used the end of the mimic’s arm bone to implant one of its arm in the top of the corpses head. Smiling wide she stepped back admiring her work as she held a leg in her other hand. She pointed at the corpse, “Rare mimic! Victory means honor!” She bellowed proudly at them, “Make shrine for Goddess. Offering. Ritual pleases her. Gives me strength!” She suddenly took a bite out of the severed leg, causing Rede to quickly turn away as vomit entered his mouth again.

Calie quickly covered her eyes, “Dear gods…” She whispered. Walker hadn’t ever looked up and Shade simply smiled as he watched.

Gorgos chewed on the hunk of flesh she had ripped off of the leg and shoved the leg through the chest of the mimic. As she swallowed her food she started banging against her chest letting out a warcry. After a few seconds she stopped and took a deep breath, “Goddess pleased. I stronger.” She paused for a moment and looked over at Shade, “Looks good. Give toy? Have fun?” She asked him.

Shade laughed, “No no no…that would be…frowned upon.”

Gorgos frowned and grumbled, “You?”

Shade shook his head at her chuckling, “Maybe later, okay?”

She smiled, “Okay!”

Calie swallowed heavily, “Can we…go now?” She asked everyone.

“Let’s!” Rede quickly jumped up and walked over to her, “Alright everyone, we need all the coin you guys found.”

Everyone tossed down what they had found on the floor in front of Rede who sighed defeated at the small pile. He picked them up counting it all, “38 gold coins…38? That’s all we were able to find in this damned tavern?”

“I found this!” Walker pulled out a bottle of incredibly rare and expensive brandy from his backpack, “But I’ll trust a mimic before I let anyone else touch it.”

“I found some exotic herbs!” Shade perked up, “Stuff commonly used as hallucinogens and other drug trip inducing stuff, less commonly used for incredibly powerful potions.”

“Guys…we need more coin.” Rede sighed heavily, “We literally are completely out besides these measly 38 right here! How the hell are we suppose to buy supplies, horses, rooms, anything we 38 FUCKING COINS!” Rede took a deep breath and put his face into his hands.

“Hey,” Shade told him, “I suppose I can lend some help.” Rede moved his hands and watch Shade reach into his long trench coat. Shade slowly pulled out a drooping sack and handed it over to Rede. As Rede grabbed it he staggered slightly at the incredible weight, “That’s either 500 or 750. Don’t remember which one, been awhile since I counted.”

“Where the hell did that come from?” Calie asked him.

“Oh I just pulled it out of my pocket of holding.” Shade casually told them.

“No I mean the-“ Calie stopped short, “You have a…POCKET…of holding?!?” She asked in utter shock.

Shade shrugged, “Ohhh you meant the coin!” He said ignoring her question about the pocket, “Well you see I sell very…VERY rare and expensive potions alongside my normal alchemy business. And at the crossroads back yonder someone wanted a very…VERY expensive potion. I don’t remember if they took my discount offer or not though…hence why I’m not sure what’s in there.”

“How often do you sell potions like that?” Calie asked him.

“Considering I’m the only one who can make them…” Shade pretended to ponder on her question for a moment, “Often enough.”

“What do you do with that type of money??” She again quickly snapped.

Shade smiley, “Buy a pocket of holding for myself.”

Calie opened her mouth to argue, but stopped as his point was valid. Suddenly Rede spoke up, “Shade…why have we never seen any of this coin before?”

“It’s my business…?” Shade shrugged at him.

“And we are the reason you are travelling around so much!” Rede quickly pointed out, “You are able to collect numerous herbs and any other sort of ingredients for your potions with us. We take you to new towns with new people to sell you potions too.” He shook his head at Shade, “We, as a party, deserve a cut.”

Shade stroked his/her face as he thought on the offer, “I suppose I can spare a bit for us, as a party.”

“That was…easier than expected.” Rede commented confused. He took a deep breath and shrugged as he put the coins in his backpack, “Alright team, let’s blow this popsicle stand.”