#my dude some day we should write TRC again

[toastytoaster22]

For the fanfic day meme, 16?

What’s the detail you wait on bated breath for readers to notice?

Hahah, don’t worry, I got you.

Hmm, I suppose this differs for each fic or chapter that I post. I sneak cameos, references to specific canon events, and all kinds of things for readers to catch. It’s hard to know if they do unless they say something in the comments though, so I am always curious.

I’ve been putting a bunch of Issho meta up lately, which is a way for me to make sure that readers are seeing everything I’ve layered into the story. I’ve had a few people message me or comment saying that they saw those things, and other people being like WOW I HADN’T REALIZED. Both responses are fabulous, honestly.

If you have a specific fic in mind, let me know and I can see what little detail I hoped people got from it.

Thank you for the ask!! <3 I haven’t talked to you in AGES 

[off-in-the-moors]

TRC rewrite: Never to be finished scene

Part 3 of my K analyses is slowly eating me out, not in the “Oh, I can’t deal with this~“ but more writing block. While looking through material, I found this scene to the rewrite stuff I was doing. Like “You’ll be fine“, this was a removed scene I was writing for fun. It’s noting big but it plays with character dynamics.

Context: It’s somewhat beginning of TDT and the gang (minus Blue) is trying to figure-out something about the Cabeswater problem, until someone is mentioned.

Ronan loved the idea of summer vacations. To stay all night and watch the stars, to races until the engine over heats, to live, to burn, to finally be. Not school to bug him, no Declan to nag him. Just him and his dreams.

But the last thing he wanted, was to stay late into the night and think about the Cabeswater problem.

They sat around their crooked table, covered in the chaotic mess of Gansey's research and plans. Crinkled maps and strings tied and knotted into a web of secrets yet to uncover, crumbling books and tapes holding up their whole world. Gansey's world. Everything was connected and yet, nothing was.

Lighted only by the few small lamps they had moved from their rooms, the only non-artificial glow in the Manufacturing, they seem almost ancient but real. Too real for Ronan’s taste.

Above the scratched wooden surface, Gansey in his old-man's pajamas, tried to draw on the map of Henrietta a straight line for the fourth time. One and erase, two and erase. His fingers banged on the table between each try, just to do something productive.

Ronan's eyes followed the previous attempts, now faint on pale colors from erasing, trying to understand Gansey's thinking. He slouched down in his chair, burying his head and arms inside his oversized sleep-hoodie. He looked up at Gansey, tired and barely standing from lack of sleep.

One more attempt. A smile spread on his friend's face.

- Here. - he finally said, he's voice almost a whisper.

They could talk louder but didn't. Any louder and Gansey's splitting headache would return.

- If my calculations are right- - They probably aren't. - Ronan cut in, leaning back in his chair. He felt Chainsaw moving in his hood. - The main line goes through here. - he continued like he didn't hear anything. - So we need more. - More what? - Power.

Ronan rolled his eyes.

- It has power. - he grunted. -  It flows like it should. - But the forest is in half. Literal half. Not enough to be whole. - And how you want to get more from already awaken line? - By fixing it. Fixing the flow. - How?

Gansey blinked. He looked around for something and finally found Adam walking through the room with a mug.

- Adam? - Call Blue. - he walked pass them. - Adam.

He stopped and sighed.

He put down his mug on a cupboard, their drinking station, and when back to them.

It was Saturday night, the eve of Adam Parrish's freedom day. Still in his dirty jumpsuit, half-open and tied around his waist, and his wash-out red shirt, there was the rare relaxation in his posture. Tomorrow, he'll sit in his room and finish one of his borrowed books, or disappear in the morning and return for dinner.

But it was still today.

He pulled himself a chair and sat down. Crossing his arms on his chest, he tilted his head back, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

No one made any sound, only the distend clock made its quiet ticks.

His body was motionless, frozen in place, with only his chest rising and falling.

Ronan could feel the unease in the air, he moved his eyes from Adam to Gansey.

Dick watched Adam carefully, rolling pencil in his hands, he was as worried as Ronan. Neither of them liked the idea of Adam and Cabeswater being connected in anyway. They didn't know what the forest was and how Glendower fit into it, but it was the only chance they had to find him.

Ronan glanced back at Adam, feeling anxiety building up inside him, slowly over flowing. He breath in, weeks old dust and used books, blooming mint plants and dried coffee stains. All familiar, all safe. But under it, leaking into the room, was something making his heartbeat dangerously pick up. The smell of fresh moss, evergreens and oaks, mushrooms hidden under mulch. The living and the decaying.

He felt Chainsaw climbed up and cuddling into his neck. He gently stroked her beak, shushing her and himself.

Suddenly, Adam's face twisted. Violently straight up in his sit, he opened his eyes and covered his left ear.

- Okay, okay. - he massaged his deaf ear. - That's enough. Thank you. Thank you. I'll tell them. Thank you, now hush.

Chainsaw cawed, moving even closer to Ronan's neck. He covered her with his hand. "Shh" he told her.

- Adam? - Gansey asked, reaching out to him. Adam raised his hand. He stood up, he's legs were shaking, and went to the cupboard. - It's the flow problem mostly, not enough energy to fully manifest. - he turned on the electric kettle. - Correcting it should partly do the trick. - But how to fix it? - We already know this, Parrish. - Ronan rolled his eyes. - Thanks for being late to the party. - I'm only repeating what it, wants to say, I think. - he stressed, massaging his ear again. - Christ, - he muttered. - Nine years of normal life, and now it's full of sleeping welsh men, magic lines and "Dude, my friend is a ghost!". No offence, Noah. - he said to the air.

Noah wasn't there, or he wasn't visible, or he was wondering around Henrietta. It was never sure with him, the only certain thing was: He was here.

- And - Adam continued. He pour some coffee and sugar in the mug. - I'm now a secretary of a talking forest. - Only nine? - Ronan grinned. - You know, - he scratched his cheek, sounding like he didn’t wanted to answer him. - I once believed in Easter Bunny. - Of all things, - he chuckled. - Easter Bunny? - Don't. - he pointed a spoon at him. - Don't tell me you dreamed the Easter Bunny. - Jeez, Parrish, I don't waste my sleep on kid stuff. - Yes, Easter Bunny, - Gansey bugged in. - But did you caught how to fix the line? - Gansey, - Adam said in a tone only a parent would. - Maybe I'll get you on the line with Mr. Waters to talk it over some tea and try to decipher a hive of voices and rustling, I barely understand, yourself? - So, no? - No clue.

The kettle clicked.

Adam pour it into his mug and stir. Without thinking, he stuck his two fingers into a pot of one of the mint plants.

He sighed.

- Gansey, did you water the mints like I asked you?

He paused. Hovering over the maps, he thought for a long bit, just to answer:

- When was it?

Adam shook his head and grabbed a bottle of water.

- Dicky, - Ronan pretended to be offended. - Not even Richard Mentha Gansey IV? How can you treat your son like that? - Ronan. - At least, Sargent Pepper is getting better. - announced Adam. He rubbed a leaf between his finger. - No more sugar for you. - he whispered to it. - So, - Ronan turned to Gansey. - Back to square one? - No, no, we're not. - he protested, grabbing his journal and flipping pages rapidly. - There are still leads we didn't check, like if the type of shells mean anything or the lake- - For fucks sake, Dick, - he grunted. - We have time- - No, we don't. In few days, I'm off to my parent with Adam and you with Blue have your problems. Tomorrow we- - You, Dick, you. - he corrected him. - I'm going to church and to a family dinner. Blue has her family time. Adam- - I'm busy. - Adam admitted. - Adam has "me time". Maybe ask Noah but I'm doubting he wants to spend his time with you in a library. Chill, Glendower is not going anywhere.

Gansey looked him in the eyes, something inside him crashed and couldn't recover. Ronan knew, Glendower was his life work, to find him, to see the magic and mystery. Ever since they knew each other, he never cared about the wish, he wanted to know, why he survived.

He sat down and laid his head on his arms, sighing. Tired and defeated. His King was crumbling before his eyes.

Maybe... he could just dream him a new one?

- There is something else. - Adam interrupted them. - But I don't understand it. - What? - Gansey asked, looking up and grinning like a idiot. - Cabeswater was repeating something. - he continued. - But I don’t... It sounded something like... Ag draenáil? - Ag what? - Draining. - said Ronan. They both looked at him. - It's Irish. - And "se" or "ef". - HE. - Ronan and Gansey shot at once. - So, somebody is draining the power.

Adam and Gansey looked at Ronan. Chainsaw cawed, backing up in the hood.

- I don't know. - he moved his head to the sides. - Maybe. Who knows? It would make some sense, I'm sure it isn't coming from nowhere, but even if, I haven't dream anything in few days. - Ronan. - Adam's voice was flat but yet demanding. - I swear. - Lynch. - The last thing I dreamed was a made up Blink-182 album for Noah. - You never listen to them. - Gansey reminded him. - How did it turn out? - Well, it was a weird mash-up of Twenty One Pilots and Maroon 5. - Dear Lord. - he groan. - It wasn't that bad. - That's all? - Adam pushed. - Mostly yes.

He didn't want to talk about the nightmares, nor the car keys, or the dead bugs and papers. Patches of asphalt between moss and the feeling of burning. Of wanting to burn...

- So, it's not you. Mostly.

Gansey slapped his hands on the table. He and Adam flinched.

- He. - he pointed at a box, standing next to the front door.

Ronan swallowed. The box was full of fake IDs, leather bracelets and campaign badges announcing "They can't lick our Dick" and "We like Dick". Perfect forgeries. They weren't for him, well not in that sense, it was a warning for Gansey. Or rather a reminder, that he only understood a fraction of him and dreaming.

- Kavinsky? - Ronan asked like he didn't know. - And who else? He surely knows his stupid parties are effecting my- our quest. - he corrected himself. - He's doing everything to spite me. - He likes your reactions. - he tried not to smile. - He is a... - he bite his tongue. - Arrogant, doofus, thinking he's the King of Henrietta, like life is just a music video. The next thing I know, he'll be selling his stupid drugs to the police officers- - Gansey, - Adam scolded him flatly. Not even turning to face them, he continued. - Stop talking about Joseph, like he's the devil incarnated. The worst he does, is his parties. All he talks about is cars and races, races and cars, cocktails and surprisingly, classical literature. - he paused. - But anyways, he's not interested in Glendower, I would even argue, he doesn't even know who Owain Glyndŵr is.

Both Ronan and Gansey stayed silent, as their friend drank his coffee.

- You know Kavinsky? - Ronan shot. Something wasn't right. - Know him?

Adam turned to them, slowly sipping his drink. He looked tired, it wasn't something new but Ronan could swear there was something else in his gaze.

- Yes. - You're joking, - Gansey chuckled but smile quickly disappeared. - Right? - How? - Ronan couldn't comprehend it. - Didn't saw you and him be buddy-buddy at school- - Nor you. - Adam rolled his eyes. - Or you're not saying something, Parrish. - Ronan. - Gansey warned him.

Their eyes meet, blue and grey. The boiling water and the rain-clouds. Ronan didn't know why he was getting angry, there was nothing to get angry about. He felt Chainsaw pulling on his collar, trying to distracted him.

- If you’re so... curious, he always comes to the garage at the end of my shift. - he was calm. - His Mitsubishi beat up or missing some parts. Or just wanting to talk. - he shrugged, tacking a sip. - Quite an asshole. I get why you like him. - I don't! - Ronan. - Gansey whimpered, covering his head with his hands. - Please, don't yell. - Anyways, - Adam continued, unbothered. - He's fine. What, Lynch? Surprised, I know people?

He couldn't articulate his thought, they were racing each other.

A blur.

- Not him. Anyone, but him. He's dangerous and fucking reckless, Parrish, what if he gets you in trouble at school? You can already wave your scholarship bye-bye. Or shit, with police? You'll be weight-off all your jobs, have to sell Noah's Mustang to pay off everything and than get kick out of Aglionby. You can't be friends with him!

Adam flinched a bit but remained calm. He raised an eyebrow, glaring at him.

- What a hypocrite. - he slammed the mug down. Gansey groaned even louder. - Listen, Lynch. Let me decide, who I'm friends with. I know, what I'm doing, I know the risk. - But- - But what? - he cut in. - Pissed that Joseph isn't just yours little secret?

Ronan didn't response. Squeezing the table's edge, his knuckles when pale, he could barely sit in place. Chainsaw buried herself into his neck, cawing softly she was doing her best to keep him calm.

He hated that Adam's face didn't change, they could as well be talking about the weather with his melancholic expression. Understand, understand, he didn't understand a thing.

- You won't answer me? - Adam asked, tilting his head. - Fine. - he shrugged, crossing his arms. - As you wish. Don't worry, I won't replace you. - Oh, I don't fucking care! - he exploited, storming out of his sit. He stopped in front of Adam. - It isn't about me! I don't want him near you!

Adam flinched at his outburst. Angered flashed on his face.

- Is that so? - his voice was shaky, but he kept going. - Or do you don't want me near him? - Either way is fine! - Why does it matter? - Because your life matters!

Silence.

They all looked at each other, the unspoken words hanging between them.

Adam opened his mouth but quickly closed it, his eyes glossy. He sighed.

- You also matter.

They all jumped.

Noah appeared on the counter next to Adam, his face serious.

- And he. - he added, looking straight at Ronan. - Don't ever say otherwise.

Before Ronan could say anything, Adam grabbed his mug and ran to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Silence.

Ronan cursed Niall in his mind. He and Gansey traded helpless stares. Gansey rapidly stood up and announced:

- I'm gonna talk with him. - Gansey. - Noah wanted to say more, but Gansey cut in, already halfway up the stairs. - I'm gonna talk with him. - Fine, but after that, go to sleep. - seeing Gansey wanting to say something, he added. - You had only four hours. - again. - I counted, with naps.

He just nodded and tripped over last steps.

When they heard him entering Adam's room, Noah turned to Ronan.

- Ronan, - he started. - What?!

He shook his head, slipping down with a strangely fluent motion. Ronan often forgot he was a ghost and even more that he was older than them. Now, it was almost like the time caught up to him, he looked and moved more mature, reminding him of his brother. He grabbed his arm, cold fingers biting him even through the sleeve, and sat him in a chair. He moved one for himself and sat in front of him.

- I know what's going on. - he said. - You know shit. - Really? - he snickered. - Ronan, I'm always here, I see and hear everything. I'm trying, trying not to be nosy, to let you guys live your lives as you wish. But, you hormonal dumb-asses. Just wow. Between Gansey's embracing handling of his crush on Blue and your "friendship" with Kavinsky...

Chainsaw picked up and flew through him. Cawing, she made few circles around the room, before she returned to Ronan, sitting on his lap. She puffed up her feathers.

- Tawsheh. - she cawed. - Olk.

"Taibhse olc" Ronan corrected her in his mind.

- Níl taibhse olc. - he scolded her. - Dona. Tá Noah cara.

She made a sad caw. Ronan patted her but still angry, at her and himself.

Noah looked faded, a mist in the air. Broken bones and blooded sweater and messy hair. His expression didn’t exist, like he didn’t exist.

Ronan scolded himself for thinking that. Noah was here. Czerny was real.

He went back to normal. Same kind and tired face.

- Adam's right. - he said. - About what? - But you're also right. - he finished. - Both of you just can't see the other side. Don't you think, him and Adam can be friends without, - he moved his hands close to his head and made "boom" motion.

He didn't answered, patting Chainsaw's back, he knew it wasn't all.

- I don't want Kavinsky to harm him. - he finally said. - Do you believe he can? - No, - he felt offended. - Adam wouldn't fucking let him.

Noah nodded.

- But still, what's the problem?

He didn't say anything.

- Because you like Kavinsky. - it sounded like a question but wasn't. - Because Joe understands. - he stood up, putting Chainsaw on the chair. He started wandering around the room, with the little raven hopping after him. - He gets the dreaming. He gets how I feel. He knows me.

Kavinsky knew him.

Not Niall, but Ronan.

- Didn't you think he might "get" Adam?

He didn't.

- Like what?

He knew the answer.

He looked back at Noah, he wasn't in the chair.

- Go talk with him.

He was on the stairs, faded and smudged.

- Noah? - I... just need time. - he sounded like echo. - Don't worry.

A shadow of a smile appeared on his blurry face.

***

- ... but it sucks, because it's gone and even museums started hunting them for display. Museums, Adam! Museums!

They were sitting on a bed. Gansey was leaning on Adam, head resting on the boy's shoulder, eyes fighting to stay open. Adam wrapped his arm around his sleepy friend, nodding to every word he said, his own eyes puffy and reddish. Ronan looked at them, feeling something he didn't in long time. He felt at home.

- What's he mumbling about? - he asked, leaning on the door-frame. - The Great Auk. - Adam answered, not looking at him. - They're gone, Ronan. - Gansey yawned. - Gone, the great bird of Scottish islands, of Kilda and Elday. No, - he murmured to himself. - Elday is Iceland's. - he frowned his eyebrows trying to remember something, suddenly he announced: - Pen gwyn. - Falcóg mhór. - Ronan nodded. - "He made no cry. I strangled him.", a cruel end. - Ronan. - Adam scolded him. - This is what one of them said. - he shrugged. - Cruel fate with no future. Gansey, go to sleep. I wanted to talk with Adam.

Gansey rubber his eyes.

- Sure, sure. But first, I said, Great Auk is the original penguin and- - You're going with me to church tomorrow. - he interrupted him. - After dinner, we gonna check whatever you want.

He looked at him, like he just show him a new thing from his dream.

- I'm not... - Matthew likes you. - No connection. - he insisted. - And Declan...

- He doesn’t own the church. You’ll just pretend you for a hour or so.

- I did. - Noah said, his voice hanging behind him. - My mother hated when I did.

Ronan turned his head and saw him in the same state. He moved through him and grabbed Gansey’s hand.

- Come on, - he made him stand up. - They need to talk.

- I never was...

- Gansey, - he pulled him in to the hall. - Tell me more about the gwin.

Ronan closed the door and looked at Adam. Heat rising inside him.

- I'm still standing what I said. - That makes two of us. - he didn’t look at him.

And that’s it.

If someone interested, just ask.

[snorlaxlovesme]

how about that adam dude from that thing you like which I haven't read but appreciate your enthusiasm for?

laura i owe you my life

Sexuality Headcanon:

bisexual! adam is confirmed to be sexually attracted to multiple genders and we are proud of him for it

Gender Headcanon:

while it seems like his understanding of gender definitely gets more complex in college since he’s made a nonbinary friend, I don’t think that Adam is the type to examine his OWN gender under a lens like that and probably sticks to seeing himself as rigidly masculine and sticks to those constructs. but i enjoy the fact that despite coming from such a conservative upbringing he becomes friends with Elliott within the first few months of starting school, which means that almost IMMEDIATELY after leaving Henrietta behind he’s already broadening his horizons.

A ship I have with said character:

tbh i ship adam with like everyone in the gang? except maybe noah bc they have very few interactions together. 

obviously ronan is endgame and pynch is very close to my heart and that goes without saying. i genuinely can’t get over that, from adam’s POV at leasy, he’s living the Enemies to Lovers trope in real time. book 1 adam hates ronan so. fucking. much. for the majority of the book. if only you had your tarot cards in TRB, parrish, you coulda foreseen that soon you’d be letting that fucker kiss your knuckles in every other scene of CDTH

adam/gansey is another fan favorite but, like much of the fandom, i see gansey EASILY being head over heels for adam while adam’s feelings back are a lot more complicated. adam loves gansey the person but viscerally hates gansey’s privilege, which, like it or not makes up a large part of who gansey is. so as fun as adansey is for the memes, it would be a hard ship to actually make work because I feel like gansey would spend a lot of mental energy unravelling parts of himself to appease adam and adam would have to unpack a LOT of his bullshit so gansey wouldn’t have to do that.

and i don’t care what anyone thinks, book 1 adam/blue is still adorable to me. i know their relationship went sour (and honestly never fully built itself back up again, something that still grates my nerves bc i woulda liked some closure with those two) but the awkward flirting and sweet puppy love thing they have going on in TRB still makes me smile. like??? the baby’s breath bouquet??? i’ll never be over that. never.

A BROTP I have with said character:

adam and opal! seeing them bond in the TRK Opal special was fantastic and i wish we could have gotten more content of them doing normal every day things. i also want them to team up to torment ronan

A NOTP I have with said character:

uhh. there aren’t many people he’s shipped with outside of ronan and gansey really. 

i guess i’m against the idea of tad caruthers/adam. purely bc if tad annoys adam in canon he annoys me as well.

A random headcanon:

even tho being Deaf in one ear doesn’t exactly necessitate the use of sign language all the time, its helpful for adam to have it as a back-up in crowded, public spaces where its hard to concentrate on one person talking, in areas with a lot of overwhelming background noise, etc. everyone in the gang learns it, but since adam and ronan see each other most often they learn it the fastest/know the most vocab. do they use it for the aformentioned reasons listed above? rarely. mostly they use ASL to talk shit about their friends in front of them and it bothers the SHIT out of gansey and blue that now those fuckers are fluent in TWO languages that they’re not.

General Opinion over said character:

still one of my favorite characters of all time. i was hooked in book one just by how similar our thought processes were on all things re: money and seeing his growth in all aspects of his life is just *chef’s kiss*

he’s cold and he’s observant and he’s clever and he’s harsh and he’s bright and intense and he’s stubborn and he’s self-preserving and he’s TRYING HIS BEST and I’m just so impressed with the level of care his character got and how much he was able to grow! like i know its not a 1:1 ratio bc we’re completely different but sometimes i feel like if i want someone to understand me as aperson they should just. read trc for adam parrish. and they’d Get It.

i’m so glad his character arc was finished to completion even with all the complications maggie faced during the writing of trk. adam parrish is her greatest gift to me personally and in both the times i’ve met her i’ve never been able to articulate that but i hope she knows.