#my dad is 61yo

[dieletztepanzerhexe]

I love my dad so much

[heikeee]

16, 21!

hi anon!! interesting choice of questions. i will do my best to answer!

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

tw: mommy issues and s*icide mention

yeah, many times! most notably with my mom. our relationship was really difficult when i was younger. still is i guess. my parents divorced when i was 7 and i lived with her until 15, when we had a really bad fight and i moved in with my dad. i was severely depressed, my mom and i talked maybe 3 times that year, one of them being right after i tried to kms and she said and i quote, "i wish you had succeeded. i wish i had aborted you". eventually, she started medication to treat her bipolar disorder and we reconnected. our relationship improved a lot, but when i was 19 and had just gotten into theater school she was extremely emotionally dependant on me and i couldn't travel to see her every weekend like i was doing up until that point. so, she called my house one night at 8PM, said i was a shit daughter and that she was killing herself and she was just calling to say goodbye, and hung up. i panicked, called my dad who was still at work, and had to wait for him to come home and drive me to her house. we found her unconscious from having drunk too much, called an ambulance, i rode with her to the hospital all the while she was screaming in the back "i want to die! let me die!". my dad and i took turns staying with her in the observation room/sleeping in his car during the night. in the morning, after she was released, she put her arm over my shoulder and whispered in my ear: "now we're even". this was 9 years ago and it still makes me sick. she has since given up on her physical and mental health and takes pleasure in burning every bridge you can imagine. she takes no issue with inconveniencing others and will gladly become a problem if she so desires. she is 61yo now, i live 9600km away, and i imagine it's only gonna get worse from here on out. we still call each other every weekend and no, the more i do it it does not get any easier. at this point, i don't even know what i would want to say to her, to be honest. there's so much left unsaid that i didn't say out of fear for being the reason someone took their own life (even 9 years later, i still fear that she is 1 missed call away from ending it all and blaming it on me). i don't know if i genuinely love her or if i've gotten so good at saying the right things that i've even fooled myself into thinking i do. i often get afraid of what will happen if she disappears, and even more afraid of preferring that outcome.

i don't know if that's a good answer. i am very conflicted about a lot of things. you can imagine it's not easy living like this, but i've gotten accustomed to it. it's what i have to offer to the echo chamber today!

21. age and birthday?

i'm 27, close to turning 28! my bday is on March 26th. i'm an aries sun, cancer moon, gemini rising ☆

[devilsketttle]

haunted by the memory of playing Fall Out Boy in the car as a 13yo and asking my then 61yo dad what he thought of it and him only replying with "it's gay."

[tittyinfinity]

Tw//drugs and abuse (putting this at the beginning because it's pretty bad)

I fucking hate living in the meth capital of the world. Everyone knows several people on it. We lose family and friends to it. My parents. The father of my child. My friend's ex who continuously threatens him with actual death if he doesn't send her money. My ex best friend's husband/father of her children. My other friend's ex wife, who he recently had to take his daughter from because she and her current boyfriend are on it and were extremely abusing and neglecting her. It's not their fault that it's extremely addicting. Every one of those people I listed has ADHD and it's near impossible to get an adderall or ritalin prescription here. The focus they get and their ability to do their jobs and keep up with tasks better makes it more addicting. But god, the withdrawals. The mood swings.

And my least favorite of all....the paranoia they get about people they know, which they then take out on the person. My mom does it, my dad did it (constantly accusing my 61yo mom of cheating when she literally couldn't have nor would), the father of my child did it ("this girl in this porno looks almost exactly like you, so it must be you, and you're a whore"), my friend's ex ("your car is clean so that means you're fucking someone, which is bad even though I fuck several people and cheat regularly"). It's just so sad that someone's addiction can end up hurting so many people....and no one knows what to do about it

I've never touched it but it has traumatized me

I'm not trying to shame addicts. If it was easy to quit, I wouldn't know so many people on it. And obviously not everyone on it is a bad person. But this is my experience. It has traumatized me. I've been BEATEN by 3 different people on it because of untrue delusions about me. I've had to go homeless to not be around it. My son and I had seizures in a house that I wasn't aware that meth was being used in, my son almost dying because he was in the bath tub drowning. He was 3. My son being born with health problems after the father of my child and his mother did meth in the house without me knowing until one day I woke up and his mom was smoking a pipe on the bed literally right next to me. (Probably why he was born 6 weeks early too, if it wasn't my messed up spine that did it.) My ex stalking me and breaking into my house, trying to steal our son while he was asleep while high on meth AND heroin. My mom throwing me into a wall by my hair because I missed small spots while cleaning. My friend who's ex keeps asking for money? She had a man beat him almost to death with a 2x4 plank, and threatens to have him murdered all the time - the last guy she was involved with just went to prison for life for killing 3 people.

That's just some of it... and I have every right to be upset by things that have happened to me that had nothing to do with my own decisions, so don't come at me saying I should be more "understanding", because all I've been is understanding and patient with them until I ended up getting hurt.

Please, PLEASE never touch it....it will not only destroy you, but everyone around you, too.

NEVER, EVER TOUCH METH.

Yes, these stories are very personal, but if you read this, please remember it as a reference of what could happen if you ever pick it up....once you do, YOU CAN NOT STOP until you have intense medical intervention. You can't just do it "occasionally" - every person - and I mean EVERY PERSON - that I know who is/was on it started it out as an "occasional" thing or "only when they need it to get things done". The withdrawals can literally kill you if you quit cold turkey - another reason it's so hard to quit.

Never, ever touch meth, and try your absolute hardest to get away from any environment or situation where it is present. You won't be able to "fix" the person who's on it or make them promise their way out of it. They have to make that decision for theirselves.

Just. Please stay away from it....and if you do use it, please, please get treatment. I believe in you. You don't have to keep living this way. People do love you, and that's why they worry about you.

Never touch meth.