#my dad has told me I'll probably have to stay at church until like 2 or 3am tomorrow to get everything set up

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

this week is making me wish I could spontaneously human combust with no lasting consequences

[unreadpoppy]

LET'S DO IT. Care to share some info about your OC? Or a Raph headcanon?

One of the 2 headcanons i have of Raph is that he has a breeding kink. Like i don't care that he is ALLEGEDLY bad at sex in canon, you cannot tell me that once he got his hands on that sweet sweet crown and conquered all 9 hells he wouldn't be like "damn i gotta make a legacy off my own" and just.... try to get as many people as possible pregnant. Would he raise the children? Probably not, but i do think he would be intent on having like a lineage of tieflings that can all the traced back to him

My other headcanon is that he likes going to the theater, to watch like an opera, a play or a ballet. He just seems to me like someone who would appreciate the arts.

As for my OC's, at this point is so many I'll just give a quick run down of some of them (important to note, they were/are my dnd characters, although i've only been able to play with 2 of them)(also you'll quickly notice i have a thing for tieflings).

Gwendolyn "Gwen" Gray is a tiefling warlock/sorcerer whose mom had made a deal with a devil in the past and resulted in Gwen being born. She was raised by her mom in the middle of the woods and she was always very creative and hyperactive, and she wanted to see the world. At some point she discovers the truth about her dad and she makes a deal with him so that she'll be able to leave her mom (basically like hey dad gimme some powers so i don't die while adventuring and i'll do whatever you want). She has a pseudodragon familiar named Pendragon. When I played with her, Gwen was known for making very questionable decisions and throwing caution to the wind, and also taking/buying stuff she didn't need. I've played with her for like a year and a half until me and the other players quit the campaign due to some issues and if i get the chance, i'll probably play with her again in the future if i'm able to.

Elizabeth Adawolf is a human blood hunter who grew up as the second oldest child of an important duke, but on the day of her wedding with another noble, the church caught on fire and she was the only one who made it out alive (which is why half of her face is covered in burn scars and she doesn't have sight in one eye). The person who saved her was a tiefling blood hunter named Kallista and Elizabeth ended up staying with the blood hunters, and becoming part of the order of the lycan. She and Kallista fell in love and they had plans of leaving one day but were found out and during a confrontation, Elizabeth had to flee while kallista almost died. Elizabeth also discovered that the fire wasn't a random accident and when the campagin begun, she was being hunter down by the same person who killed her family. She is the only character I currently play with so she got even more traumatized during the campaign. She's a leader and the champion of the sun goddess, even thought she didn't ask for either of those, she's very anxious and also she loves swords and beheading an assholes. Also, I have written like 3 fanfics involving her (is it a fanfic if it is your own character?).

Also, Elizabeth's campaign is on hiatus but it's cause the DM decided to do a smaller campagin in the same world but in another part of the continent and in that one I'm playing as Kallista(who is a barbarian).

Galatea von DeWilde is, you guessed it, a tiefling whose parents were nobles who had trouble conceiving so they were told by this witch to do a certain ritual and 9 months later, a tiefling was born (even though her dad is human and her mom is an elf). Even thought her parents loved her, she was ostracized by her grandmother and some other family members but she didn't care much. When she was 5, her parents managed to have another child, this one being a regular half-elf. Galatea loved her sister but it did hurt her that some people seemed to care more about the new baby then her and after hearing her grandma say some hurtful things about her, Galatea starts manifesting some magic and also this shadow guy (who she saw as an imaginary friend) starts talking to her. She kept both of those things to herself. Also, when she began to use magic, a black spot appeared on one of her arms, and the more she uses it, the more is grows and at this point, her whole hand up to her wrist is pitch black. Anyways, she eventually runs away from home when her sister tells her that she overheard their mother and grandmother talking about marrying Galatea to some random guy so she would be far away. I haven't been able to play with this character yet and at this point i doubt I will but oh well.

Nyx Lenoir was a tielfing born on a cold winter's night to human parents. They were a happy little family and she was a sorcerer like her mom. Because the place they lived was very hostile towards tieflings, her paretns tried to keep her hidden but one day they had to go to a nearby town and this man discovered that she had magic by accident. The following day her home gets invaded and she is separated from her parents and taken to this magic school that is really shitty but she makes some friends and a rival. Eventually, she drops out of the school and goes to live on her own, while also trying to figure out what happened to her parents. She is a sorcerer/divination wizard, she likes mapping the stars and because i wrote this character while i had a hyperfixation on bears, she studied bears for a long time. She has a familiar named Griffin, and she's infamous in my dnd group because her background is a 24 page document, out of which 17 pages are just writing (the rest are reference pics). Also, I haven't played with her yet bu the DM promised that he would begin the campagin next year.

And as a bonus, shout out to my first OC, Solana Starfury, who was a high elf necromancer, who came from a warrior family and was kicked out of her home cause she couldn't lift a sword to help herself. First dnd character I ever made and played with, her campagin ended abruptly due to the DM having some IRL problems. I miss her.

Anyways, I skipped physical appearences description because this answer is already way too long so feel free to ask away.

[mysoulismelting]

I've grown up in a Mormon church (I still am). And while it's not bad, and you can meet some wonderful people, the Utah Mormons are the worst. Many agree across the board that they're stuck up and hateful, thinking because they came from salt lake that they're the best or like most pure or whatever. I've had shitty experiences with Utah mormons and until I'm old enough to move out I'm probably gonna keep having them.

It's been kinda instilled in my mind that I should do certain things or like I won't find salvation or whatever so even after I move out I probably won't fully turn away from it, since I don't think I'd be able to. I've met alot of other young women with toxic families who believe things like "health class is for people having sex so you can't take it" (where I go to school it's required, this is my aunt who thinks this)

You also are being constantly pressured since primary to go on a mission and to invite others to church to "see the light". I don't think I'll ever be able to live without thinking there's some form of god since I've been told since I was able to understand people that God was real.

My mom dad and older brother are pretty avid believes, and my oldest brother has already turned away from the church and the concept of god all together.

I don't think I could ever hate the people I meet at church, alot of them being converts and children.

Speaking of children, they have you get baptized at 8 thinking it was your decision. I remember not even knowing we were Mormon and just knowing I got dunked under water in front of a bunch of people and I got to wear a pretty white dress. I also remember my mom asking me if I wanted to be baptized and me, thinking that it was something everybody did when they were 8 years old and have basically not brain.

As a kid I was never explicitly told we were Mormon either. I thought everybody went to church for 3 hours (2 now, and 0 in pandemic mode) or that not everybody had an extra book to read or go to church camps every summer after I turned 12, or teach other young women what I was taught. I literally thought we were just normal christians

Also, the family proclamation is openly transphobic and homophobic.

Alot of Mormons say they have no problems with the LGBT community (at least where I'm from) and there have been statements from the church itself saying that they don't hate gay people "just what they do" which is a phrase I heard alot growing up.

Women can only hold positions of power that affect women, like relief society or young womens, the rest of the 12 apostles and prophet are always old men. Women also can't hold the priesthood which is required to hold these positions but like that wasn't the women who made that decision.

When I was young the excuse for not letting gay people get sealed in the temple ( idk if everyone does this so I'll explain: sealing is when u get married u also get sealed to the person u marry and any children u have so u can be together in the afterlife) was that they couldn't get married. But now they still don't let them get sealed. Like of God loves everyone why not let people who love each other stay together in death like tf???? This has never made sense to me.

The temples are really pretty but only the outside is open to people without a recommendation which needs to be renewed once every year.

I think the only thing really holding me to the church is repentance and how they offer it. It's always pray for forgiveness and forgive urself and u should b good as long as u didn't do something rlly fucked up. Tho sometimes when its a "big sin" like premarital sex or masturbation uve gotta talk to the bishop which I'd never do since some Bishops are snitches and only some are nice and accepting and shit.

I've also met some shitty missionaries in my day. I was doing service at the bishop store house (which gives food and basic living needs to people who can't afford it, it's one of the only things I like about the church) I asked a missionary to move. I said "excuse me" pretty quietly while waving my hand to tell him we need to get something from the shelf he was blocking since I was on the verge of a panic attack from the lady working with my mom and I. He snapped at me and told me he doesn't like when people don't ask politely or say please or smthn and that he didn't like I waved my hand at him. I took a moment to face my mom before I began to cry from the stress and I tried to apologize before my kick ass mom ripped him a new one for making me (16) cry. The guy never sincerely apologized but his partner looked like he wanted to sink into the ground and die. I sat in the back room for the rest of our shift and cried until that dick hole came in, sat right next to me, and began making friends with my dad younger sib and brother who didn't see what happened.

Also seminary??? Tf???? Like this shit is held at 5 am before school???? Like???? What??? No thanks.

Tl;Dr

I've grown up in a Mormon church and can't really imagine living without it since I've been stuck here for so long. It's kinda Stockholm syndrome-y esque. Don't tell my mom I said that.

I found this really important tiktok about what to do if a Jehovah's Witness or Morman missionary comes to your door:

[saltandstranger]

These are things that I usually just stash away in my journal for my own eyes to read. But I wanted to share with you what I've been going through the past 6 months (wow hold on a sec, where did 2020 go? 😳) because I wanted to educate people and at the same time encourage anyone who's going through a rough time while the world around us is going bonkers. You're not alone. We do life together. And we need Jesus and eachother more than ever.

So, early this year, I was diagnosed with severe mitral valve regurgitation secondary to torn chordae tendineae and infective endocarditis. (Nosebleed? Stay with me here haha).

A recap of what happened prior: I was down with what I then thought was the common flu for about 2 weeks (on and off) last January. I was on paracetamol, antibiotics, bed rest, and lots of fluids. My fever wasn't going down and I was losing sleep and my appetite. We thought it could be dengue but when I got tested, the results were negative. It was quite baffling.

One night, I couldn't sleep well and had labored breathing. Typical asthma triggered by the cold weather, I reckoned. So the following day, we drove 28 km to see my pulmo. She listened to my breathing and noted that it was clear- although she noticed that my heart rate was really fast, around 120bpm at rest (it's practically the heart rate of someone who's running). She recommended that I go see a cardiologist.

We checked in to the ER of another hospital and they immediately got a cardio to see me. One listen from his stethoscope and I could tell by the look of his face that there's some news I'm going to have to face. So right there, in the extra makeshift room on the corridor of the crowded emergency room, he told me that he heard a heart murmur, I have mitral valve prolapse, I probably have endocarditis, and I likely have an undetected hole in my heart that's been there since I was a baby (this was later on debunked through a transesophaegeal echocardiogram or TEE- a term that makes me puke just by thinking about it hahaha).

Needless to say, I was speechless. I had no idea what the other terms meant but I picked up that there was something generally wrong with my heart. How in the world was this possible when I've never had a problem hiking, trekking, chasing waterfalls, and living a pretty active life? The doctor ordered some more tests to be run, explained some procedures, etc. But I was not able to process everything at once. The shock of it all hit me square in the chest and for like 2 seconds, my mind was clear enough to do the logical thing for me that time- cry.

My mom was standing outside the makeshift room while my dad drove home to get some clothes because it was clear that I was spending some time in the hospital. They hadn't yet heard what the doctor just said to me.

I don't remember who called who, but I was speaking to my Pastor in between sobs, and then she and my friend rushed to my side after the Saturday Service in church that night and stayed with me and my mom until they got me a room.

I spent the first 14 days of February in the hospital and been staying at home ever since. Haha I've tehcnically been on lockdown longer than anyone I know. I'll tell you stories of some of these days next time. I immediately understood that I'm in for the fight of my life here. MR (Mitral valve regurgitation) is a complex case even made more so with endocarditis. All the doctors and articles I searched for in google say that surgery is the only way to fix this. I'd also like to take time to explain these stuff another day.

Fast forward to today, June 15th. My open heart surgery has been postponed for 3 months already. I know that there's a purpose for that. It's literally a daily miracle that I am breathing and my heart is beating. What brings me peace and comfort during every sleepless night is knowing that this battle belongs to my God. I know He is faithful and He keeps His covenant for a thousand generations. Even when there are days that it's honestly tougher to keep the faith, I wholeheartedly still believe that my Jesus is who He says He is, He is my healer, and He is with me and my family every step of the way to the summit of wholeness.

–K 🌊

#saltandstranger

#wholehearted

#mitralvalveregurgitation

#wowitactuallyfeelsgreattogetthesestuffoffmychest 😄

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A post shared by Salt & Stranger (@saltandstranger_) on Jun 14, 2020 at 8:29pm PDT

[sally-annesstories]

Day 37 - Panajachel to San Juan La Laguna, Guatemala

My hardest day to write

1. Despite switching my brain off early I had a rubbish sleep the night before. Barely getting any shut eye. Given I was up at 6.30 by 7 I decided to go for a walk. Pana is small and I quickly covered a lot of ground. It was nice walking with less people around. Although sadly there were way less stalls at this time. I was craving some fruit but nowhere I went could I fine any. Finally I was in a small shop which didn't have fruit but did have a grocery section. As I looked I spotted baby food. Figuring pureed mango and apple was more nutritious than a bag of doritos I opted for that. Quite smart of me I thought, baby food must be semi reasonable.

2. Back at the hostel others were getting up and keen for breakfast. We opted for a womans restaurant which is owned and operated only by females. A big deal in Guatemala.

3. A boat ride to San Juan. Tonight we are staying on the lake again but this time at a homestay. The lake, similar to Antigua is beautifully flat with all the volcanoes surrounding it. The boat ride was relatively chill. The boat being less fancy than maybe ones I'm used to was a a bit noisy. Three quarters of the way through we slowed down and stopped. Not sure what was happening - turns out we'd run out of petrol! There we were floating away until another boat bought over a petrol tank. Given they drive the lake so often, you would think they'd check theu have enough gas to get anywhere before leaving. Anyway eventually made it safe and sound!

4. On arrival we met our homestays and went to their homes to drop off our things. I'll come everything off related to this at point 5. Once without our gear we went into town to visit the different creatives and ways of life at San Juan La Laguna. These were a honey farm, a chocolate workshop, a church, a textiles spot, an artist's and finally a medicine farm. At each the workers told us about what they did there. It was nice and interesting although I probably didn't come across like I was enjoying it. After no sleep the night before I was dead. Everytime we sat down I was nodding off. Oops, but I also knew I needed to be awake with the family so half attention was all I could give.

5. Ok to the family. So when we first arrived a member of each family was waiting. We wrote our names next to a name on a piece of paper and this determined where we'd stay. We walked with our homestay mum to her home. It is something so different to what we consider a house back in NZ. On arrival there is a front room with a wee store. This is selling odds and ends and snacks. It has a door on the alley way as well as into the yard. We walk in through to the yard. The yard is small and oblong shape. Grass on the right with a few trees growing and sticks/twigs piled up indicating they'll be used for fires. On the right side there are two rooms. Both square one with two single beds (where we will be staying) and their bedroom which I couldn't see inside. She has two children, Mildred who is 13 and a two year old son. She is married but quickly learned her husband works in Guatemala City and is only home twice a month. The kitchen is outside and consists of a brick over (this uses the sticks for cooking/fire). The back wall from their bedroom is on one side and pots and pans hang on this. The tin roof extends over this area with tarpaulins covering two other 'walls', the rest remaining open. There is a toilet and shower. Each is a square about 1m x 1m with three concrete walls (one splits the two rooms), there is a draped sheet offered as a door. The daughter sleeps down the road at her aunts. was lucky to be staying with another girl who spoke Spanish so she would chat and translate for me. The family we were staying with was really poor. The father earns 40Q a day (8NZD) for 8 hours work and he cant be with the family. They have been hosting people for 4 months and it's how they put food on the table. The woman handmakes scarves to be sold at markets. The one she was doing when we were there would take 3 days and would be sold for 125Q (25NZD). She also put the shop in the front room. Despite this tough life she and the children were so happy. Before dinner Synovve spent alot of time speaking to her and I played with the kids. Mildred could speak a minor amount of English so between her English and my minimal Spanish we got by. The little boy was very easy to keep happy and we played kicks and other games with toys (some of which were in a fairly dire state.

The woman talked about how she wanted to move to the USA but her husband does not. To go there you need to walk for 1-2 months. Given it's illegal you would pay someone who knows how to cross the border 100,000 Q per person. Noting how much they earn gathering this as cash is near impossible. Instead you put a mortagage on your home. Then you hope it all goes to plan, when you arrive in the USA you have nothing but then if you don't and go back to Guatemala you also have nothing. It's not nice to think of the other options here. We helped with dinner prep, I was rubbish at making tortillas and so stopped after dropping the batter while I made one. Don't want to waste anything here! We noticed there wasn't much food originally thinking they must have already eaten. Sadly that was not the case! When she plated up she served us 3x more than what they served for themselves. Our food was on what I'd consider a dinner plate and theres was on a wee bread plate. I felt sick. I decided best not to eat all on my plate as likely they take leftovers for the next meal. I didn't like the thought of me eating more than them. Also they had 3 plates served, turns out this was one of the nights of the year that dad came home. It was a long weekend hence he was back. After dinner we were asked if we wanted to go to bed. We agreed realizing they would want to all catch up as a family. Before hitting the hay we did do the dishes. Once in our room the beds didn't have sheets on them but rather fleece blankets. On the corner of one a World Vision badge was sewed in. How different to be where the world vision donations are made rather than where the funds are collected.

Just brings home how lucky we are to even just be from NZ / a fully developed country.

Tally:

Minimum wage in NZ: 17.70NZD

Living hourly wage in NZ: 21.15NZD

Minimum hourly wage Guatemala: 2.80NZD

Hourly wage the father was getting: 1.08NZD

< Q amount translated to NZD based on FX at time of writing. Hard to find a minimum wage for Guatemala by hours but websites I was indicted 2,500 Q a month so just averaged that on 4.5 weeks and a 40 hour week. The wage the father told me is less than 'minimum wage'. He said it was hard to find work and because there can be some corruption, I beleive he was true in his daily rate (which I took down to hours). It could've been post tax.

NZ living wage taken from https://www.livingwage.org.nz/about

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