#my dad has brushed off vomit warnings twice from his kids (one each). these are formative memories for him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thegreatestofheck · 5 years ago

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Ocean and Alcohol Pt. 3 ✘JJ Maybank✘

Part One! Part Two!

(not my gif. All credit to pterparkcr!) Part 3/? Word Count - 6371 Warnings - Abuse mentions, underage drinking, swearing, steaming fluff (is that thing? idk) Synopsis - The party at Sarah Cameron’s has a rocky start, but ends rather well in your opinion. Taglist - @lovelymaybankk A/N - As with the other parts in this series, it’s in the second person with a named character! Thank you so much to lovelymaybankk for being a wonderful supporter, I really appreciate it! If anyone wants to see the playlist I listen to while writing these, let me know. Thank you all, I love you a million!

When you finally got home, your dad was sitting on the bottom of the stairs, just like Kid had been the night before. “Hey, Dad,” you said, setting your keys in the bowl by the door. “Hey, sweetheart.” From the tone in his voice, you knew a teary-eyed apology was on its way. You groaned inwardly as you shut your eyes. “I...I wanted to apologize for last night.” “It’s not a big deal, Dad,” you said, opening your eyes and putting on a smile. “But it is.” He pushed himself off the stairs and took a few hurried steps forward. He stopped when he saw you flinch and step backward. Tears brimmed his eyes and he covered his mouth with his hands. “I hurt my baby girl and my boy and I….” He broke down into tears, falling to one knee as he sobbed. You grit your teeth, trying to blink away a few tears of your own. He did this almost every time. He either pretended like it never happened or he cried, there was never another option. You preferred the first because you never felt obligated to comfort him, like you did now. “Dad.” You walked over to him and dropped down next to him. You wrapped your arms around him and he leaned into you, clinging to your arm. Every piece of your heart shattered as you heard him cry. His tears soaked through your pajama shirt. You hid a sob of your own by planting a kiss onto his head. Keeping your breathing steady, you slowly peeled him off of you, putting your hands over his teary cheeks. “There is one way you can make it up to me,” you said, plastering on a smile. “Anything,” he choked out. “Anything.” “Sarah is having a get together tonight and she wants me to come.” “You...go out?” You heard the concern in his voice so you pushed harder. “You know how much I like Sarah, and I know you want me to make better friends. This is me trying.” When it was clear he was still mulling it over in your mind, you pulled the last stop you knew would guarantee a yes. “And...Rafe will be there tonight.” “Rafe?” The tears were immediately gone from his eyes. You nodded, though your stomach sickened. “I thought you hated him.” “He’s not as bad as I thought.” A lie. He was worse. “Well, if someone responsible like Rafe is there….” You resisted the urge to laugh. “As long as it isn’t a party, you can go.” A grin spread across your lips. You leaned down and kissed your dad on the cheek, just one more foot in his goodwill door. “Thank you, Daddy.” You helped him to his feet and brushed away a few of his stray tears. “I love you, sweetheart.” “Love you.” As soon as you were upstairs, you vomited the words out of your mouth. While you were glad that you had been given permission to go to the party, you hated how low you had to go to get there. Making your dad bend to your will was generally easy and very rarely did you actually feel bad about it. After all, his favorite past time was beating you senseless, so why couldn’t you manipulate him to get the things you wanted? It seemed like a pretty fair game. You brushed your teeth twice before heading back to your room to start homework. As soon as you opened your computer, you knew that you were going to get very little done. Your mind went, as it usually did these days, straight to JJ. You weren’t sure how to feel. You fought the last time you spoke to him, but you also spent the entire night thinking about seeing him at this party. And then you saw him kiss another girl and then spent the entire day wanting to murder him. And now you were just double confused because he seemed ready enough to introduce you to one of his best friends. Your mind was all over the place and none of those places was homework. In hopes to drown out your own thoughts and focus better, you turned on some music. But then the song that you and JJ ‘danced’ to came on and you were thrown into all over again. You found yourself humming and tapping your foot instead of typing out your essay. Eventually, frustration overcame you and you tossed your computer onto your pillow and shut off the music. You spent the next few hours trying to not think about JJ and focus on your school. It had never been hard to focus before. You knew you needed to go to a good school to get a good job to be able to take care of Kid once your dad was out of the picture, and that meant getting good grades now. Homeschooling wasn’t too hard for you, but if you didn’t get most of your work done today, you were going to suffer for it later. JJ and his stupid smile were really throwing a wrench in every single one of your plans. The time came for you to pick Kid up from school, but he texted you asking if you could pick him up from a friend’s in an hour or two. As long as you got him home before Dad got home, you usually let him go and do whatever he wanted after school. You wanted your brother to have the social life you never did. You didn’t have a big sister to cover for you or pick you up from wherever when you were his age. But that didn’t matter. You were going to be the big sister that you always wished you had.

You somehow managed to focus long enough to finish the essay and start on your math homework. It didn’t take long for Kid to text you to tell you to come and pick him up. The entire drive there and back, you were worried that you would somehow run into JJ like you had before. “Are you okay?” Kid asked, looking up from his comic. “Hmm? Yeah, oh yeah.” “Why do you keep looking out the window?” “No reason.”

Now consciously aware of your wandering eyes, you tried to keep your gaze fixed on the road ahead. The sun was starting to go down and the only thing you should be worried about right now was getting Kid home quickly and finishing your work, not JJ. Luckily, you made it home without any unwanted visitors and a few minutes before your Dad got home. Kid sat on the ground in your room munching on some potato chips while the both of you worked on school work. You heard your Dad pull into the driveway. You and Kid glanced at each other and shared a knowing smile. It always felt like a victory when Kid was able to do something without Dad finding out. After a few minutes, your dad knocked on your door and opened it. “Hey, Kiddos.” “Hey, Dad.” “Tacos good for tonight?” “Sure,” Kid said. “Elm?” “I’m going over to Sarah’s, remember? They’ll have food there,” you said with a smile. Your dad’s face fell for a moment.

“Ah, yes.” “And I’m sure if I don’t get enough to eat, Rafe would be more than happy to get me something,” you added, praying that your dad worshiped Rafe enough to not double back on his word. “Rafe, yes. I’m sure he will.” He sighed. “How was work?” You asked, hoping to change the subject. “Good, good. Busy.”

“That’s good.” The air went stale when no one said anything else. “I’ll call you when dinner is ready, Bradford,” your dad said, looking down at Kid. He nodded, returning to his homework. “Thanks, Dad,” you said as he turned and shut the door.

You spent the next hour finishing up as much homework as you could before getting ready. You couldn’t remember the last time you put real effort into a party outfit. But this time you tried on at least five different outfits, asking Kid each time if it was alright before finally landing on something you liked. “Is that boy going to be at Sarah’s?” Kid asked, now sitting on your bed as you checked yourself out in the mirror again. “What boy?” You eyed your brother carefully. “That boy that was here a few weeks ago. The one who snuck out when Dad and I got back from our trip?”

You let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know,” you said, mentally punching yourself for overthinking things again. It didn’t matter if JJ was going to be at Sarah’s party because you had no intention of talking to him. Either you were going to end up crying (again) or you were going to punch him, and you were sick of crying. Even if JJ was there, you weren’t sure why you put so much attention into your outfit. You dropped to the floor, pressing your hands against your eyes. You heard Kid climb down from your creaky bed. He sat next to you and bumped your shoulder with his. You let out another sigh and leaned your head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, afraid that your voice would break if you spoke any louder. “For what?” “For bringing my silly drama into your peaceful Friday night,” you said, lifting your head and trying to give a smile. Kid shook his head.

“You go get prettied up for this boy, El.”

A smile broke out on your face and you felt your cheeks heaten. Kid bumped your shoulder again and you scrambled upward to grab your makeup from your bathroom. Kid turned up the music and jumped back onto your bed. You bobbed your head, sitting in front of your mirror, as you finished your look. It was nearly seven by the time you were finished. “Ready?” You asked Kid. He looked up from his comic and pursed his lips, checking to make sure everything was in place. “Ready,” he confirmed with a smile. You walked over and kissed the top of his head, an unusually cheery bounce in your step. “Bye, Kid,” you said. “Be back by 12!” Kid said, deepening his voice to mimic your dad. You laughed as you slung your bag over your shoulder on the way to the door. “Bye!” You hurried down the stairs, smile glowing on your face. “You’ll be careful tonight?” Dad said from the kitchen. You startled and turned around. “Yeah, Dad. It’s just a few girls, there’s nothing to worry about.” “And Rafe?” You were about up to your ears with all the talk about Rafe, but if it meant you could go to this goddamn party, you would kiss up as much as you needed. “Yes,” you said, trying not to let your dad see the exasperated sigh you wanted to let out as you said it. “And Rafe.”

His final nod said that you had made it past the last wall of permission. You had to keep yourself from running out the door as fast as you could. Once you were outside, you bolted from the door all the way to your car. Blasting the music in your car got you singing at the top of your lungs as you drove, probably faster than you should have, to Sarah’s house.

Tannyhill wasn’t very far from your own house, only a 15 minute drive, but with anticipation gurgling in your stomach, it felt like forever. By the time you reached the house, you could tell that the party was in full bloom. A sudden spark of anxiety shot through you. What exactly were you supposed to be doing here? The only person you really liked was Sarah, but she had all of her own friends. So you sat in your car for five minutes before finally plucking up the courage to go inside. You were beyond thrilled when the first person you saw offered you a red cup with vodka. “Please,” you said and downed the entire thing. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to be taking alcohol from strangers at a party, but your nerves were already so fried from worry that you didn’t care who you took what from, as long as you were buzzed before anyone started talking to you. It didn’t take long for you to find Sarah, and to your surprise, she actually left her friends to come over to you. “Elma!” She said with a smile. “Just call me Elm,” you said as she neared. “Elma is a stupid name.”

Sarah giggled, already plastered, and handed you another cup of alcohol, which you gladly took. She dragged you over to her other friends, who gladly accepted you. You could tell they were all drunk off their asses because they took the time to speak to you, which wasn’t something most Kooks took pleasure in doing.

Two hours later, you heard hollering from outside that could mean only one thing; the pogue take over. Like the idiot he was, JJ was the first one in the door with a kegger in his hands. How he managed to carry the thing on his own like it was nothing was beyond you. Everyone in the house was silent for a moment and part of you was afraid they would all attack. But then a large cry of cheers erupted and you knew for a fact that everyone was drunk out of their minds. You were going to join in on the cheering when you saw the girl that JJ kissed yesterday walk in right behind him. Maybe it was the alcohol or the deep-rooted, unresolved trauma you buried deep in your chest, but you stood in a sudden flurry of anger and marched outside. You were on your fifth cup of beer and you could feel it affecting you. You should have tried to find the place where the music was loudest and dance out the alcohol, but all you managed to do was step outside and breathe in the weed smelling air. You just needed to breathe for a moment, you told yourself. You were being overdramatic and you needed to calm down. Of course, the universe was still punishing you for whatever the hell it was you did wrong because your moment of calm was soon interrupted by the one boy you assured your father would protect you, but who was also the same boy who was most likely to kill you. “What are you doing here, Elma?” You heaved out a disgusted sigh and hung your head. “I’m enjoying the party, Rafe,” you said, taking another drink from your cup.

“I don’t want you in my house.”

“First of all, this isn’t your house. Second, your sister invited me here. And lastly, as you can see-” You motioned up to the sky. “I am clearly not inside.” Rafe grabbed your wrist from behind and you spun around to face him, whatever joking mood you were in fading instantly to anger. “Don’t touch me,” you spat. “Get out.” “You can’t tell me what to do.” “What are you going to do, hit me again?” “Yeah, I might.”

You were seconds away from doing just that, when someone interrupted. “Let her go, Rafe,” JJ said, standing a few feet away. You rolled your eyes, downing the rest of your beer. “This is none of your business, pogue,” Rafe said, not taking his eyes off of you. You tilted your head to the side, one of the worst ideas you ever had popping into your head. “Rafe-” “Hey, Maybank,” you said, turning to look at him. “Shut up and learn to read the room, maybe.” Without giving him the chance to say anything, you stood on your toes and kissed Rafe full on the mouth. Did it make you want to vomit? Sure. Would you have rathered punch him in the face? Yes. Did it make you feel any better at all? Hell no. Especially when Rafe kissed you back. You waited to hear the door open and shut again before pulling away from Rafe. He lingered where he was for a moment, eyes shut and lips puckered. You cringed at him and wiped your lips with the back of your hand. “God, you’re pathetic,” you said, walking away from him. You went back inside to grab another drink, taking one shot of something before grabbing another cup of beer. You walked away from the house, wind stinging your eyes and making them water. At least, that’s what you told yourself to convince yourself that you weren’t about to cry. You walked out to the docks where you hoped you could be alone. You sat on the edge, kicking your feet back and forth over the water, your untouched beer beside you. Your mind was like mud, an unfortunate side effect of not spending your drunk energy on dancing. You could barely finish one coherent thought, which was never good. Finally, after a few minutes of trying to have a dramatic existential crisis without being able to think properly, you had enough. You slid off your sandals, setting them beside the beer. Taking a few steps away from the edge of the docks, you ran and jumped into the cold marsh. The chill kickstarted your system again. It was like a reboot. The mud was washed clean from your mind and you felt the return of your senses. You stayed beneath the water as long as you could. Once your lungs started to scream for air, you made for the surface. You gasped in air once you broke through, treading water to keep you afloat. Now shivering and wet, you swam over to the dock and reached up to pull yourself out. To your surprise, there was a hand waiting for you, offering your help out. You looked up at JJ, who stood with his other hand in his pocket. You took his hand and he pulled you out. Standing beside him, you were suddenly unsure of what to say. After spending hours thinking about it, you were silent when it really mattered. You started shivering almost as soon as the night chill hit your skin, but you tried to hide it. “I have a sweater in John B’s car, if you want to borrow it,” he said. Apparently your hiding skills weren’t at their prime. You nodded slowly and followed as he headed off toward the beat-up, old van that the Pogues drove around in. Neither of you said anything for a while. “Why’d you drive off this morning?” He asked suddenly. You turned your head to look at him with a cocked brow. “That’s your only question?” He shrugged so you let out a sigh and decided to answer. “Well, the last time we spoke, we didn’t really finish on the best of terms and then I saw you kiss that girl and I then I was, well I hit my head last night pretty hard so I was out of it and then Pope was there-” “Pope just happened to be there.” “Yeah? Well-” You tucked a piece of hair behind your ear as you approached the car. “I guess I just freaked.” JJ pulled open the side door of the car and grabbed his sweater, handing it to you. You held it for a moment, unsure if putting on his sweater was the best idea. You were about to give yourself a full-blown essay about all the reasons it would be a bad idea when a sudden bluster of wind blew past, sending shivers up your spine. You quickly pulled the sweater on over your head. It took all of your remaining brain cells working together to not think about how warm it was or how much it smelled like him. “I didn’t kiss her,” JJ said as he slid the door shut. “What?” “That girl. I know what you’re talking about, but I didn’t kiss her.” Guilt turned your cheeks red. “Oh.” You looked down as the two of you started to walk away from the van. “I’m sorry then.” “For what?” You stifled a smile. “I may or may not have spent that entire day plotting how to kill you and dispose of your body so no one could ever find it,” you said, a smile pulling at your lips. JJ laughed and looked at the ground before looking back at you. “How would you do it?” “Let’s see,” you said, pulling your hands inside the sleeves of JJ’s sweater. “I think I settled on drowning you. You see, if you kill someone and then throw their body into the water, too much water gets in their lungs. Any coroner could see it from a mile away that something fishy happened.” “Duly noted.” “Yeah, and then I would take you and your boat out somewhere and capsize it somehow.” “Man, remind me to never piss you off again.”

You let out a laugh. When the smiles fell from both your lips, you spoke again. “I’m also sorry I kissed Rafe.”

“I’m pretty sure that hurt you more than it hurt me,” JJ said with a laugh. You stopped walking and put a hand on his wrist. He turned back toward you and the look in his eyes told you enough. “I really am sorry.” With a soft sigh, he pulled his hands from his pockets and placed them just below your jaw, tilting your face up toward his. He leaned down and instead of kissing your lips, he placed a long kiss against your forehead. Eyes fluttering shut, you breathed in a deep breath. You saw a flash from behind your eyelids. A storm must be coming. You didn’t care. JJ pulled back for just long enough to look into your eyes before dipping back down and kissing you properly. This wasn’t like before. It wasn’t needy or desperate or full of desire. It was something else. Something softer. Something far more terrifying. There was another flash. “You wanna get out of here?” You asked, looking up at him with a smile. He nodded and you grabbed his hand, leading him toward your car. “You left your shoes,” he said, pointing back toward the dock. “Oh, yeah.” You took one step in that direction, but he stopped you. “I’ll go get them.” Before you could say anything, he took off toward the dock. Watching him run toward your shoes, you felt a smile slowly pull its way up your lips until you were grinning like an idiot. A question floated at the front of your skull, a question you refused to fully ask, even in your own mind. When JJ returned to you, shoes in one hand, he smiled. “Shall we?” “We shall.”

The casual stroll to the car felt just as natural to you as breathing. Your hand itched to be held in his, but you didn’t want to push your luck tonight. Besides, holding hands was way too personal for you. You didn’t want to hold his hand. That would be so silly. You slid into the front seat of your car as JJ climbed in beside you. “You know, I’ve never seen a kook with an uglier car,” he said, closing the door. You looked at him and let out a confused laugh. “In the best way possible, of course.” “I’ll have you know,” you said as you put the keys into the ignition and started your car. “This baby could outrun that stinky van of yours any day.” “Hey, don’t insult John B’s van. We love that thing.” “Yeah, whatever.” You pulled out of the driveway, maneuvering around the other cars without hitting a single one. “Where are we going?” He asked. “What, are you afraid I’m actually going to kill you?” “I wouldn’t put it past you.” You let out a mock-hurt laugh, your heart hammering at the sound of his own. “I’m glad I let off murder vibes,” you said. JJ leaned toward you. “You wouldn’t hurt a fly,” he said before kissing your cheek. “Excuse me?” You were trying not to take your eyes off the road, but JJ sitting so close to you and smiling like he was made it very difficult. “Didn’t you see me beat the shit out of Rafe?” “Yeah. Once. And you were drunk.” “Oh, please, I’ve done it a hundred times. I practically grew up with the guy,” you said. “Really? “Um, yeah. You really think the only practice I get fighting is when I’m swinging at my dad?” You scoffed. “No, sir. Rafe and I have been beating the shit out of each other since we had the muscle strength to swing our fists.” “Now that is interesting,” JJ said, leaning against his closed fist. “You find that interesting?” “Interesting, terrifying, sexy. Whatever you want to call it.” “I bet you I could beat your ass,” you said. “Was that a threat or a challenge?” “Both.” “Pull over and we’ll settle this now.” “Hold your horses, bucko. I’m almost to our destination.” JJ laughed, leaning his chair back. “There’s the bucko thing again.” “Shut up.” A few minutes later, you pulled off the main road and onto a narrow dirt road. “I am starting to feel like you are taking me somewhere to kill me.” “Hey, I already told you my murder plans and we turned away from the ocean, not toward it. For now, you can be pretty certain I’m not going to kill you.” JJ turned to look at you with a smile. “For now,” he said in a fake ominous tone. When you finally came to a stop, you were parked on an empty plane. With nothing but grass below you and nothing but stars above. You reached into your backseat to grab a few blankets you kept stored back there for the times you and Kid did this exact same thing. You slid out of the car with a giddy grin on your face, JJ following after you. You tossed the blankets on the ground but had no time to do anything else before JJ tackled you to the ground from behind. “What the hell?” You cried, trying to push him off of you but only succeeding in getting more tangled in the blankets. “I thought we were going to see who wins a fight?” JJ said, pinning you down and hovering over you. You glared at him. “Oh, it’s on.” You spent the next few minutes rolling around half in the blankets, half on the grass. The fight ended when you found yourself straddling JJ, your hands against his shoulders to keep him pinned. “I think,” you said, breathless. “I think I win.”

“I let you win.” “Oh, really?” “Yeah.” You breathed heavily through your nose and sat back, moving your hands from his shoulders so he could move if he wanted to. But he didn’t. “Can I tell you something?” JJ sat up on his elbows. “Go for it.”

“The reason I was so quick to think the worst about you when I saw you with that girl, I guess-” You paused to give yourself a moment to breathe. “I guess it was easier that way.” “How do you mean?” “Well, if I could convince myself you were just messing around with me I felt like I could still walk away without feeling hurt. I figured that I could just forget everything and move on and go back to living like I was before. I’m just...not used to caring about someone other than Kid and especially not so quickly,” you said. “So you care about me.” JJ smirked and made a face at you. You rolled your eyes, not even trying to keep down a smile. “Well, shit, Maybank,” you said, mimicking his smile. “What else am I supposed to do when you kiss me the way you do?” “Can I tell you something?” JJ asked. “Only if it’s appropriate.”

“I spent the first week after I was at your house trying not to think about you,” he said. Your heart started to pound, lost somewhere deep in your stomach. “Kinda failed at that one, didn’t I?” “Look at us, two people with emotional issues talking about our feelings.” You needed to say something to cover up the fact that your stomach was currently doing turns like some kind of freaking ballerina. “Aw, hell. The world’s going to end.”

JJ lay back, placing his hands on your hips and looking up at the stars. “Do you wanna know something?” He glanced at you instead of answering. “I don’t want to kiss anyone else. Just you” JJ worked his way to sitting up, sliding you into his lap. He moved one hand to your cheek, running his thumb along your cheekbone. “Purple,” he said. You tilted your head to the side and blinked. “My favorite color. You asked me to think about it and I decided my favorite color is purple.” You smiled, pulling your lower lip between your teeth to try and cover it up. “Purple is a wonderful color.” JJ pressed his lips against yours. Instead of the ocean, this time you felt the expanse of the sky above you. Maybe the universe hadn’t been trying to lead you away from JJ, but push you right toward him. The kiss was short, leaving you wanting, but it was obvious that JJ had something else that he wanted to say. “I don’t want to kiss anyone else either,” he said, his eyes still closed, almost as if he was afraid to say it to your face. This time you didn’t smile and instead pulled him in for another kiss. Nothing else mattered. You were sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean, but you could breathe perfectly fine. You were no longer drowning. You weren’t exactly sure when the kiss shifted from something like a contract to full of macking, but it did. Maybe it was when JJ moved his other hand to cradle your head or when you pulled his shirt off...somewhere in there. If you had still been in the car, the windows would have steamed up from how hot your breath was. When JJ dropped his lips to your neck, he moved his hands down as well, lifting his sweater just enough to get his hands against your stomach and back. His hands were calloused, rough, but it felt good against your skin. “JJ,” you breathed. You could tell that he appreciated being called by his first name from the way his hands curled against you, his teeth grazing your neck. “Do it again,” he whispered, his lips ghosting over your skin as he made his way back up to your lips. “JJ.”

You knew it was dangerous to push your limits like you were. The last two times this happened, you had gotten out of this before the anxiety took over completely. Last time JJ was aware of what he was doing, in control of how far he was going. But now, by where his hands were and by the way he clung to you, you weren’t sure he was thinking about that right now. And you weren’t sure you could stop yourself before you were overcome. At this moment in time, there was no fear, there was just JJ. You would have pushed and pushed and pushed until you were right on the brink. But you were already overboard, why not go deeper? Luckily, the universe was looking out for you. A deep thunderclap echoed across the sky, making you jump and a quiet shriek flew from your mouth. JJ laughed, just as out of breath as you were. “Don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little lightning?” He asked. You glared at him. “I was preoccupied,” you said, putting your arms around his neck. Just before you kissed him again, the sky let out another burst of thunder. You sighed, closing your eyes. “I guess Mother Nature is cockblocking me,” JJ said. You dropped your forehead to his shoulder before rolling off of him. “I guess.” “We should get in your car before it starts to rain.”

“Man, I really wanted to look at the stars,” you sighed, starting to collect the blankets off of the ground. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten distracted.” “Maybe you shouldn’t have been so distracting.” He helped you move the blankets into the car. You barely had time to shut the front door before the rain started to pour. You pulled a mirror out of your purse and caught a glimpse of your neck, which was absolutely riddled with hickeys. “Dude,” you whispered, tracing one with your finger. You glanced over to JJ, who was hiding a smile behind one of his hands. He shrugged at you. You smacked his arm, revealing the laughter he was trying to keep in. “You’re lucky I carry concealer or I would be murdered in the morning.” “Hey, listen-” “What? What’s your excuse?” “You have very nice skin.” “My skin is nice so you have to give me a million and a half hickeys?” JJ shrugged again, laughter shaking through his body. “I’ll give you more if you want them.”

A bolt of lightning split open the sky. “I think Mother Nature said no to that one,” you said, peering out of the windshield at the sky above. “Whatever.” JJ leaned his chair back and put his hands behind his head. “Where to next?” “I can drop you off wherever before I head off.” You weren’t one hundred percent sure if JJ was staying with his dad or not and you didn’t want to be pushy. “You’re not going to tell me that you turn in at 12? The night is still young!” “If I’m not home, my dad will have my head on a platter,” you said, starting the car and beginning to pull out. “Live a little, remember?” “Yeah, well, if I live too much it’s my little brother who pays for it, remember?” “Right.” “So, where to?” “I’ve been staying with John B.” “Alrighty then. To John B’s.” When you pulled up to John B’s house, you weren’t surprised to see that the van was still gone. “Kiara, Pope, and John B must be having the time of their lives,” you said with a laugh. “I hope you don’t feel too excluded.” JJ laughed. “None of them are having as much fun as me,” JJ said. You rolled your eyes. The rain had begun to dwindle as you parked, so the two of you ran inside as quickly as you could. For a moment, you just looked around. This house was like nowhere you had ever been before. For the first time in a long time, the word home popped into your head. But, then again, you weren’t sure if it was the house or JJ’s arm that was hooked around your waist. “I’ve never been to a house on the cut,” you mused, running a hand over one of the cabinets, looking at all the wall hangings. “Well, it’s not much,” JJ said, grabbing a bruised apple off a shelf. He took a bite. “It’s….” You looked around again and finally shook your head. “Anyway, I should get going.”

As you turned toward the door, JJ gently grabbed onto your wrists. “Ellie-” “JJ.” “I want you to stay.” “I can’t. My dad-” “Just for once don’t think about you dad!” JJ walked past you, running his hands through his hair. “There’s so much more out there than him. You don’t have to be afraid of him.” “I’m not...I’m not afraid of my dad. I’m afraid for my brother. If I’m not there to take it, he deals it out to Kid. I can’t let that happen.” “So, you just act as your dad’s personal punching bag?” “Don’t you?” It was clear that you were both at an impasse. You weren’t sure if you had gone to far, so you carried on in hopes that there was a chance he would understand. “I know that you’ve only ever had to take care of yourself when it comes to your dad, so I don’t blame you for not understanding, but it’s...it’s different when there is someone else that depends on you. I mean, who am I to enjoy things like watching the stars or parties or hickeys when it’s my brother who has to pay for it?” JJ tightened his jaw, but nodded slowly. You stepped forward, taking his hands in yours. “Please, JJ, just-” You closed your eyes and sucked in a deep breath. “Just give me some more time to figure everything out, alright? I want nothing more than to be able to stay with you tonight and just forget everything else, but I can’t. I just can’t.” You begged him with your eyes to understand. You didn’t want to finish this night the same way you had the last time you talked. Finally, JJ nodded, squeezing your hands. “I got you,” he said. “Thank you.” You started to take off the sweater he loaned to you but he shook his head. “It’s cold out there,” he said. “And you don’t know when it’ll rain.” You nodded, leaning up to give him a kiss on his cheek. Before you got back down from your toes, JJ grabbed your face for one last kiss. It may have been one last attempt to get you to stay, but you couldn’t. This was one whirlpool you couldn’t risk jumping into. You stepped back and left the room before he could say or do anything else. When you made it back to your car, you felt like crying. Leaving JJ alone in that house felt like leaving a puppy on the side of the road. It felt wrong and it made you sick, but you couldn’t leave Kid to the wrath of your father, so before the tears had the chance to fall, you reversed and started the journey back home.

#jj maybank #jj x reader #jj obx #jj x oc #john b obx #pope heyward #pope obx #kiara outer banks #kie #rafe cameron #sarah cameron #outer banks #obx #series

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jjmaybanksbaby · 4 years ago

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The Summer Game: The Kook Party (Chapter 1)

word count - 3.2k words

warning- a fair amount of swearing, underage drinking, some smut at the end, vomiting/throwing up

Meets the OCs! Ember Elizabeth Mason Blakely Marie Turner

Catch Up On the Story! Prologue

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The second that Blakely woke up, a wave of nauesa hit her. She covered her mouth with her hand and ran to her attached bathroom, desperately trying to avoid puking her guts all over her bedroom. She kneeled in front of the toilet just in time for the evidence of last night to make an appearance. A horrible headache loomed in the back of her skull. This was not an ideal way to start the morning but Blakely lknew better than anyone how to handle a hangover.

The events of last night were still fresh in her mind and Blakely didn’t have much trouble remembering them. Blakely had swiped a bottle of champagne before Ember and her had snuck out of their own graduation dinner to escaped to the beach. While they had sat there, staring at the ocean, Ember had proposed a sort of game to ensure the summer was that much more interesting. The girls had laid on the sand ironing out details and drowning themselves in champagne until Ember’s mother found them. The disappointment on her face when she discovered the girls covered in sand and well on their way to drunk was obvious. But Blakely was use to disappointing her parents so she didn’t care much; however, she felt a bit bad for her best friend who was sure to get a stern talking to about responsibility or something like that.

Blakely peeled herself off the bathroom floor and stood in front of her mirror. She went through her daily skin routine, something she’d been doing since the first signs of acne appeared on her face in 6th grade. If she had nothing out, Blakely had flawless skin. She twisted her long blonde hair into a bun at the top of her head, examine herself in the mirror for a moment more before finally heading downstairs in search of something to eat.

Blakely entered the kitchen to find her mom sitting at the island, a cup of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other. No one could ever accuse Blakely’s mom of being “tech-illiterate”. She was up to date on all the lastest who’s who and what’s what across every social media. While some kids might love having such a hip mom, Blakely found this extremely annoying.

Blakely walked over the platter of pastry sitting in the middle of the island. Her dad had the biggest sweet tooth so there was always some form of sugar laying around the house.

“Oh, honey. Are you sure you want to eat that?” Blakely’s mom said as Blakely reached for pastry. “Why don’t you have something a little healthier. You don’t wanna start the freshman 15 early now, do you?”

This was subtle way Blakely’s mom had body-shamed her ever since she hit her teen years. It was never explicitly just a little comment here and there about what Blakely was eating or how great another girl looked in her size 00 whatever. You couldn’t even call it “fat-shaming” because Blakely had never weighted more than 115 pounds in her life.

Blakely replaced the croissant she had picked and grabbed a banana from the bowl of fruit instead. Sometimes she would ignore the comments from her mother and do whatever she pleased but right now, the hangover was putting her in no mood to get into a fight with her mom.

Down the street in the Mason household, Ember wasn’t having that much better of a morning. Ember’s older brother, Dylan, had decided today was a great day to announce to the family that he was dropping out of Brown to focus his energy on his start-up. The concept for which had yet to decided so really he just wad dropping out of college.

Ember had grabbed her plate of breakfast and made a quick exit from the kitchen after her brother dropped this bomb. Now, she was sitting on her bed listening to muffled sounds of the argument coming from below. In reality, she owed her brother a small thank you. His announcement would take the heat off her for a little while. Lately, her mom had been pressuring her to make some firm decision about what she was going to study in the fall but Ember couldn’t seem to picture any of her future.

Ember reached over and grabbed her cell phone off her bedside table. She unlocked it and sent a quick next to Blakely.

E: want to go for a drive? family drama bleh

B: be there in 15 bb

Ember and Blakely’s drives were a staple of their friendship. They had taken the first one the day Blakely had turned 16 and been gifted a Jeep by parents and they’d only grown from there. Sometimes they would talk the whole time, venting to one other about their problems. Other times, they would blast the music and scream every word.

Just as Ember was about to get up and change into something other her pajamas, her phone buzzed with another notification. She opened to find a text from Sarah Cameron to their group chat.

Sarah: party tn @ kelce’s place 9pm be there bitches

Ember shut off her phone without responding to the text. She knew Blakely and her would go, there wasn’t a party on Figure Eight that they missed. It partying was an olympic sport, Ember and Blakely would have more gold metals than they could count. They could turn any party into the best time and more importantly, they knew their limits so they were never the ones throwing up and having to be carried home. It was a science they had long mastered.

Ember traded in her sweatpants for a pair of faded denim short and pulled a Georgetown crewneck over the cami she had slept in. She ran a brush through her gorgeous brown hair before finally pulling it up in a ponytail. Only a moment after she had finished getting ready she heard Blakely pull into her driveway. Ember slide her phone into the back pocket of her shorts, slipped on a pair of sandals and ran down the stairs.

“I’m going on a drive with Blakely.” Ember yelled as she slipped out the front door.

Ember strutted down the driveway putting on a little show for her best friend before she pulled herself up into Blakely’s Jeep. Ember plugged her phone into the aux cord, queuing up one of their classic driving playlist as Blakely backed out of the driveway.

“So,” Blakely started. “What’s new in the Mason household?”

“Dylan is dropping out of Brown to, and I quote ‘focus on his start-up’.” Ember replied.

“Since when does he have a start-up?” Blakely asked.

“That’s the best part. He doesn’t even really have one. My parents are trying to talk him out of it but he’s turning 21 in July so there’s really not much they can do to stop him.”

“Shit.” Blakely laughed. “Didn’t see that one coming from Dylan.”

“How life in the Turner home?” Ember question.

“Just my mother preaching her ‘A man won’t love you if you weight more than 120 pounds’ bullshit per usual.”

“You know that’s not true right?” Ember said.

“Yeah, I know.” Blakely responded. “Half the time it’s just easier to eat the nasty whole wheat shit rather than start a fight with her.”

Ember glanced over at her best friend. “Should we get coffee?”

“Yes, please.” Blakely said a she turned onto Main Street, heading to their favorite coffee shop.

•••

It wasn’t until later in the day, when the girls were at Blakely’s house, getting ready for Kelce’s party that one of them brought up the game.

Blakely was standing in front of her full length mirror in just her undergarment holding up different dress opinions. So far, none of them were clear winners. Ember was sitting at Blakely’s vanity transforming her straight brown hair into beachy waves.

“If I fuck Kelce tonight, I’m still counting it for full points because even though we’ve done it before.” Blakely declared as she held a leopard print slip dress up to her chest.

“Are you gonna fuck Kelce tonight?” Ember countered.

Blakely shrugged her shoulders. “It wasn’t bad the last time. Plus I keep getting vibes that he wants to do it again.”

The first and only other time that Blakely had slept with Kelce had been during the senior spring break trip to Florida back in April. Both Blakely and Kelce had been pretty tipsy when it happened and they didn’t talk about it afterwards but Blakely wouldn’t be too surprised if it happened again tonight.

Blakely disappeared into her closet to search for her hot pink chunky heels to pair with the dress. “Who do you have your eyes on tonight?” She yelled out to Ember.

Ember set the curling iron down for a minute and sighed deeply. “Nobody really.” She admitted. “God, I hope there’s some body new at this party.”

“Willing to take half points and slum it with a Touron?”

“You know Tourons never end up at Kook parties.” Ember answered as she went back to curling her hair.

“You never know babe. Tonight could be your lucky night.” Blakely said.

“I doubt it.” Ember muttered softly to herself, not feeling very optimistic.

•••

Ember and Blakely walked into the party just after 9:30. The bass coming from the speakers was so loud it caused the walls to shake slightly. The furniture had been pushed to the sides of the room to make space for a dance floor which was covered with plenty of couples pressed up against each other. The stench of beer was overwhelming and the number of red solo littered around the house made it obviously that many of the night’s activity would be alcohol induced.

Sarah Cameron jumped up from her spot on Topper’s lap when she spotted Ember and Blakely enter the room.

“You came!” She giggled, pulling the girls into a hug. Her breath reeked of alcohol and she had to yell over the music for Ember and Blakey to hear her. “Oh my gosh Blakely! Kelce has already asked about you twice!” She held up two fingers in front of Blakely’s face as to emphasis her point.

A smirk slowly spread across Blakely’s face. “Did he now?” Blakely threw her arm over Ember’s shoulder. “Should we go find the boys?” She asked her.

“I’m sure they’ve been patiently waiting our arrival.” Ember replied.

Sarah lead Ember and Blakely through the dance floor to the corner where Topper, Rafe and Kelce were currenlty camped out.

“Look who finally showed up.” Rafe said as the girl approached.

“We wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Blakely responded as she plopped down between Rafe and Kelce.

“Be a gentlemen and get us some drinks, Rafe.” Ember said, shoving him off the end of the couch so she’d have room to sit down.

“Get your own damn drinks, princess.” He snapped.

Ember pushed out her bottom lip in a pout. “Please Cameron.”

Rafe rolled his eyes before stomping away in the direction of the keg. Kelce stiffed a laugh as Rafe walked away.

“He’s for sure afraid of you two.” Kelce said.

Blakely turned to face Kelce and ran one of her fingers down his biceps causing his adam’s apple to bob.

“And what are you?” She asked him.

Kelce took a long drink from the cup he was holding. “This feels like a trick question that I’m gonna pass on.”

Blakely playful smacked Kelce on the arm. “What a cop out.”

Rafe finally returned to the group holding a few couple of beer between his fingers.

“Rafe’s back with the beer. Thank God.” Ember said, taking the drinks from him.

“You’ll aren’t gonna fucking believe who’s here.” Rafe said.

“Who?” Blakely asked as she took a sip of her beer.

“Kiara.”

Ember froze at the sound of Kie’s name. “She’s here?” Ember managed to say.

“Right over there.” Rafe pointed over his shoulder to the kitchen.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Blakely asked.

“Oh! I invited her!” Sarah chirped.

Ember’s eyes got big. “Why the fuck would you invite her?”

Sarah rolled her eyes dramatically. “We talked it and we’re friends again so I invited her. Friends invite friends to their parties, duh.”

One look at Ember’s face let Blakely know that Ember was about two seconds away from going off on Sarah if she didn’t intervene.

“Kelce.” Blakely said. “I think Ember here need’s something a little stronger than this beer. Where might you be hiding the good stuff?”

“In my dad’s study. Third door on the right. Don’t mess up anything.”

Blakely leaned down to whisper into ear, “You’ll be properly rewarded for this when I get back.” Then she grabbed Ember’s hand and pulled her up. “C’mon Ember, we’re way too sober to deal with this shit.” She flashed Sarah some deathly side away before walking away.

“I can’t believe she fucking invited her.” Ember said the moment they were out of earshot of the others.

“I can’t believe how fucking annoying Sarah is the second she gets a drop of alcohol in her system. Like learn how to hold your liquor.” Blakely replied as she opened one of the doors in the halfway. She sighed in frustration when it was only the laundry room. She spun around and opened the door across the hall. This time, the door opened to reveal an expensive looking study. “Bingo.”

“She may have forgiven Kiara for all the shit she caused but I’m never going to.” Ember said as she followed Blakely into the study. Ember sunk down into the leather couch that was positioned under the large window while Blakely flung open the cabinets behind the large oak desk in search of some vodka.

“Okay so simple solution. Just grind on Rafe all night and pretend Kiara doesn’t even exist.” Blakely opened the bottom cabinet on the right to find it stocked full of top shelf liquors. She shuffled the bottles around until she found a bottle of Tito’s. “Now were talkin’.” Blakely said.

Blakely unscrewed the cap and took a decent size swig before walking over and handing the bottle to her friend. Ember happily accepted it and pressed the bottle to her lips, taking a decent sized swig herself.

“You gonna be okay if we go back out there?” Blakely asked Ember.

“Sarah’s a bitch.” Ember replied.

Blakely laughed in response. “And Kiara’s a fake who doesn’t deserve the time of day from you. Now, let’s go.” She stood up once again and offered Ember her hand. Ember let Blakely lead her back out to party, determined to not let Kiara’s unwanted appearance ruin her night.

When they rejoined the group, Ember grabbed Rafe’s hand and dragged him out to the dance floor.

“Woah, woah woah.” Rafe protested. “You know I don’t spend parties on the dance floor.”

Ember turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her face was inches from his. “Can you just shut up and let me dance on you for a while.”

Rafe threw his hands in surrender. “Anything for you, princess.”

Ember took another swing from the bottle of vodka that now had become permanently attached to her hand before turning back around and grinding her hips into Rafe’s pelvis.

Meanwhile, Blakley had wasted no time climbed onto Kelce, straddling his legs.

“I think it’s about time you get that reward I promised you.”

Kelce brought his hands to Blakely’s ass and gave it a little squeeze. “I think so too.” He said.

Blakely cupped his face in her hands and pressed her lips against his. Kelce tangled his hands in Blakely’s hand as he slipped his tounge into her mouth. Blakely slide closer to him as the kiss turned increasingly sloppy.

“Let’s go upstairs.” Kelce said as Blakely lowered her face to leave a hickey on his neck. She nodded and quickly slide off his lap. Kelce grabbed her hand and lead the way up the stairs to his bedroom. He had barely kicked the door closed before Blakely was attaching her lips back to his.

The two of them stumped backwards in the dark room searching for the bed until Blakely back fell onto it. Kelce broke away from the kiss for a moment to pull his shirt over his head and Blakely felt a tingle between her legs at the sight of his perfeclty chiseled stomach.

Kelce slide back on top of her, moving his mouth down to leave little marks on her throat. Blakely wrapped her legs around his wasit in an attempt to keep him close to her. Kelce slide the straps of her dress down her arms until Blakely’s boobs slipped out. Kelce moved down her body and attached his mouth to her left nippled. He flicked her nipple with his tounge while he squeezed her other boob causing Blakely’s back to arc in pleasure as she screamed his name.

Kelce started to plant kisses trailing down Blakely’s stomach when the door to his bedroom opened and Rafe bust in.

“Hate to interrupt what’s going on up here but Ember is puking her guts out downstairs and you need to go handle it.”

Blakely let out an audiable groan as she sat up and slipped her dress back up onto her shoulders. She gave Kelce the kindest smile she could mangane. “Let’s finsh this another time, kay?”

Even more than securing points for the game, Blakely was disappointed that she and Kelce had been interrupted. Blakely wasn’t interested in doing anything other than sleeping with Kelce but based on how the night had been doing, the sex would have been quite good.

Blakely hurried down the stairs to find Ember leaning over the kitchen sink. Sarah was holding back her hair and rubbing small cirles on Ember’s back as She vommitted into the sink. The bottle of Tito’s the girls had taken from Kelce’s dad’s office was on the floor completely empty. Blakely did a quick calculation in her head. She had taken a few shots of it but other than that, Ember must have drunken the majority of it.

“Oh fuck.” Blakely said which got Sarah’s attention.

“Look’s who here. It’s Blakely. She gonna take you home and make sure you’re alright. How does that sound?” Sarah said to Ember in a voice usually resrved for puppies and small children.

Blakely’s mentally rolled her eyes at the Cameron girl. “Thanks so much Sarah.” Blakely said in the sweetest voice she could muster up. “Ember is lucky to have you.”

“I hope she’ll be okay.” Sarah replied.

Blakely just smiled at Sarah and turned to Ember. “It’s time to get you outta here.” Blakely slung Ember’s arm around shoulder and half dragged, half carried Ember out of Kelce’s house, trying not to make too much of a scene.

They only had to stop one time on the way to Blakely’s car for Ember to puke. Blakely held back Ember’s hair as she barfed into the bushes out front of Kelce’s house.

“We’re definitely gonna have to talk about this in the morning.” Blakely said to Ember. Tonight had make it incredibly obvious that Ember wasn’t over what had went down with Kiara four years ago. It hadn’t take one unexpected appearance at a party for Ember to throw all her boundaries out the window and get totally shit faced.

Blakely lead Ember to her Jeep that was parked just a bit down the street from Kelce’s house. She helped Ember up into the passenger seat then walked around the driver’s side and slide behind the wheel.

“Please God don’t puck in my car Ember.” Blakely said as she turned on the ignition and shifted the car in drive. “And you definitely aren’t gonna remember this in the morning but I’m offically ahead in the game so at least tonight didn’t suck for both of us.” She added as she speed down the road toward home.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

a/n - i hope y’all enjoyed the first chapter! there’s gonna be a whole lot exposed about kie’s and ember’s past in the following parts so get ready for that!!!

comments/feedback are always appreciated!! :)

check out my entire masterlist here!

taglist! (drop a “🦋” in my inbox to be added to The Summer Game taglist)

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geminiloopholed · 5 years ago

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Everyone thinks Lizzie is selfish (and she can be) and that she is a horrible twin but I decided to write a drabble on her illness. Has mentions of sex (nothing graphic or ANYTHING), mania, depression, self-harm (mentions), the bullying I am just gonna post it here for now but if anyone thinks I should post it in the tags, etc well then comment? Or just let me know what you think.

I used my experience plus creative freedoms, headcanons I had for Lizzie for a long time to make this.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I feel like I'm a snow globe and someone shook me up and now every little piece of me is falling back randomly and nothing is ending up where it used to be ― Amy Reed, Crazy

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞? 𝐁𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞?

Funny how things work from daddy working just a little too much and mommy busy searching for answers away from home, keeping it a secret that it is almost like an affair. A bunch of lies that the twins are forced to swallow down with cheap alcohol that they shouldn’t be drinking. How she should be asleep but instead she is here in this moment dancing around the room, music soft but it sounds loud in her ears. The amount of times she falls to the gym floor can be counted on how many bruises she will be covering up with makeup in the coming hours. A bloody lip and she is still going, only stopping to get some vampire blood to heal herself up (So no one will ever notice that Lizzie Saltzman isn’t perfect).

Her twin is the one that comes through the door at close to five pm and is shutting off the music. “Time to go hide in our room if you don’t want dad to worry.” It sounds like an I LOVE YOU from a siphon that barely says the worlds to the blonde. Sometimes, Lizzie wonders if maybe she could get that I love you if she just tries harder to be better. Lip curls into a smile, sweat making her clothes cling to skin and she feels a sense of pride swell up inside of her.

In the shower, she has to stop and can only smile at her razor blade because not today. not ever again.

Breakfast with her twin is with drumming fingers against her plastic cup filled with strawberry smoothie and a pancake that she eats half off before feeding the rest to a wolf that she is interested in, he is cute and has that damaged look in his eyes that Lizzie craves. Just like Josie, she wants to save a lost cause but the way she goes about it is different. Josie mother hens, Lizzie is the bad influence that will show you a good time right down to the letter

Snickers and snorts in her direction by the end of the day by Alyssa fucking Chang has her breathing fast, that witch has never been a friend of hers. When she was younger, she had been sent to the ER because of burns thanks to that witch. she doesn’t know all the damage her daddy did to that girl deep down in her subcouncious NOR does she care. The fifteen year old doesn’t five a fuck about the other’s wedgie trauma or lacktherefore of. In the bathroom, splashing water on her face and Josie holding her hair back as she vomits. It hurts when she is finished, her throat and stomach both ache from overuse and yet she still wishes there was more to throw up because she can avoid the other that way. Josie getting a paper towel for her twin.

“Thanks,” Lizzie whispers, shaking fingers grip an edge and wipe at her mouth, breathing in air that is hardly calming but she forces herself to fake it. “Go be with Satan.” Two more months and the Satan/God’s angel will be broken up and Lizzie will have her twin back. She is a blackhole of love and energy and it is pushing her twin away for the moment so she can handle shit herself even if that makes it a bigger deal.

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐉𝐚��𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞?

No one warns you about the lack of sleep, about how sleeping three hours can feel like you slept all night long. How you can still go running around the school in the crisp fall air and be just fine.

Everyone is complaining about not sleeping and Lizzie just sits there, foot shaking feeling ALIVE and more important then anyone else, so much that she shot her mouth off and said maybe if you weren’t busy fucking David or whatever the night before you wouldn’t be so tired. Her best friend, one besides Josie ends their friendship right then and there and Lizzie doesn’t give a damn because she is BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER.

No one tells you that you feel ontop of the world but end up alone because being alone on top is nothing. Kings and Queens never knew who to trust either and they ended up being bad asses, marked down in history and that is what Lizzie wants, to be in the history books that kids read about seventy years from now when she is dead.

Life is fine even if it means skipping lunch to go walk around the halls for the thirty minute break listening to music in her head, the tune all jumbled and doesn’t make sense but whatever.

𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞?

Just sex? How does one feel being in a state and having their first time in the fall air and when the boy leaves all she feels is cold and alone. Tears fall as she lets herself up and gets dressed. It didn’t help with her head, didn’t slow anything down like she had hoped and instead it added some new thoughts in her head. How someone could call you crazy and then get their fix, it ruins and destories. Getting back to the dorm by the time Josie is out of the shower sucked

Lizzie cleaned herself up in a bathroom stall the best she could, trying to get the taste of his kiss out of her mouth and off her lips. She wishes she could be held by her mother and told everything would be okay but she doesn’t want to be a blackhole, something that Penelope will later shoot out of her mouth during a manic episode by the time her birthday comes around. How Hope Mikaelson came in and even fucking helped her get the grass out of her hair without saying a world, because girls don’t knock each other down too far, at least not on this (Or maybe the Mikaelson has some tact on the subject). Lizzie changes her clothes and curls up into bed with Josie and sleeps for the four hours that she can sleep and is up praying that no one knows about what she had done.

No one seems to know the next day at breakfast and instead of sitting down? Lizzie is up walking around the building, helping teachers with getting things down and ready for the younger classmen.

𝐃𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫 '𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞? 𝐒𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞?

Of course, someone has to point it out to her father that Lizzie had been off her pills because he didn’t seem to noice. So busy with his private training sessions and whatever else that he assumed Lizzie’s anger outbursts were just teen angst but here it was a cry for help. It is with the help of MAGIC that they break the manic episode and she sleeps for four days off and on and her mommy comes down to hold her. For a split second she feels like she is whole again but that is an illusion.

It’s telling Josie between sobs about her first time without naming names only to find out that everyone knows because people brag about that sort of thing. How walking the walls forever would feel like someone placed a bag over her head and was just waiting for the air to waste away, for her to die. It’s then that her sister breaks up with Penelope Parks, attempts to fix the broken and shattered pieces and Lizzie lets her because she needs someone to care.

Dad leaves and so does mom, leaving the girls to pick up broken pieces all over again.

𝐈 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐰 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐝𝐞

The depressive episode comes and Josie is the one holding a blonde as she cries, blood coming from cuts that she made to try and feel better but it never works. It is praying that a manic episode would hurry up so she can have some relief. Queen of self-harm, Josie would tell a boy from the grill that ends up at the school. If Lizzie would know her twin would out her secret to someone else, she would have never let Josie through the door (She didn’t actually let the siphon, no Josie used magic to bust in)

No one tells them that having your twin giving you pills twice a day would be normal to both of you after that. Josie tossing them across the room and watching because clearly, no one else is going to do it. Lizzie can’t do it, her head tells her not to do it and right now she was too weak to do it herself. The agreement was just until they turned sixteen but tht would be cut short when Monsters start coming and this mopheaded boy that Lizzie swears she doesn’t like comes to down.

Josie is everything that grounds her and Lizzie is everything that makes Josie fly around like she has no wings but one half of a whole is hardly good math.

The twins sit in the bathroom with scissors cutting Lizzie’s once LONG hair to her shoulders. The once down to the middle of Lizzie’s back gets cut and even as she cries, Josie keeps going because there is no other way around it. No one talks about how depression can ruin your good locks because running a brush through it never comes to mind or it does and you are so tired tht you can’t be bothered.

𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐦𝐞?

All of her issues turned her mean but no one ever stopped to ask her if she was alright, no one ever cared to see behind the mask when she was still kind hearted and not putting up a front. No one gave a damn, just like her parents and sometimes just like Josie.

Penelope Park gets her pen at christmas time frozen and it breaks into millions of pieces, only after she mad Josie cry. It becomes the two of them (Penelope and Lizzie) going at one another. No one hurts Josie and gets away with it, if Penelope wasn’t someone Josie cared about, Lizzie would throw down and give that witch a wild bruising without care but Josie begs for the other not to do it.

Diana calls Josie a loser and what does Lizzie do? Punches her in the face. No one notices it is to honor her twin, to defend her really because no one ever thinks that Lizzie can be nice. No one thinks Lizzie cares about anyone BUT herself. Her mask is working only it works so well that Josie starts to believe it too.

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩, 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦.

No one talks about the illness taking who you are and crushing it. No one talks about losing things like your hair or how you have impulses to have sex with someone you don’t know. This isn’t a dream, no one can go back and change how their brain works even if they would LOVE to do just that.

#・ ˖ ✦ ⋄ . ❝Mine: Drabble❞ 【GEMINILOOPHOLED】#・ ˖ ✦ ⋄ . ❝Mine: All❞ 【GEMINILOOPHOLED】

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