#my dad had a tartan bowtie

[overlordraax]

[Image description: sketch of Earthspark Megatron wearing a bowtie, Dorothy leans against his shoulder smiling. End description]

I know Dorothy was probably already married to Alex given the timeline, but I want to believe Megatron got to attend her wedding and they got him a big ass bowtie to wear and took pictures with him PLEASE I NEED THIS

[cpt-america-aint-here]

My friend gave me this amazing, leather bound copy of The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible and I love it and now I hafta make it a Good Omens/Ineffable Husbands thing

There are three options!

1) Crowley gets it for Aziraphale! An obvious and glorious choice! Aziraphale has a vast collection of books, and of bibles specifically, of all different types! He loves them! As a “joke”, Crowley gives this to him. In theory it could be a middle finger. A demon gives an angel a bible that points points out problems??? Oof! He can sell that to Hell! In reality, Crowley knows Aziraphale. Aziraphale loves this copy of the bible because he loves humans and their quirks and goodness and compassion! He loves that (some) humans look at what (some) other humans claim is the book that examples Goodness™️ and say “not good enough! There are injustices within this book! We should acknowledge them!” (Please note that while I, the poster of this, am not religious I think The Skeptic’s Bible is actually respectful and is intended to inform and challenge not attack and degrade.) He pours over this version and tries to better himself and his ways of spreading Goodness™️ as well as just plain old, human invented goodness and kindness. Aziraphale has always, since the Very Beginning, sought to be an example of Love and Acceptance and yeah he’s flawed but so are humans and so is Heaven (he doesn’t think that last part. At least not until After). More than anything though, he cherishes this version because Crowley gave it to him. It’s the only bible Crowley’s ever given to him. Neither of them mention the careful highlighting of every annotation of “Good Stuff” and the small, carefully written note next to the “Good Stuff” entry in the introduction that says, “you’re the only angel that spreads this, I, we, Earth would be lost without you.”

(After the Break Up at the bandstand, Aziraphale stands in the small apartment above the bookstore and holds this book. He doesn’t cry, there’s not time. He whispers an apology and says “I do, I do like you. I’d be lost without you.” He remembers the Holy Water, remembers the terror of Crowley so much as having it. Of what his demon may want it for, may do with it. Crowley says insurance and Aziraphale hears “exit”, hears “escape”, hears “a way out from this pain and the memory of falling and burning”. He’s never far from Crowley after he hands over the thermos. Just in case... The tartan pattern was intentional, planned. He hopes it reminds Crowley of a bowtie and an overcrowded bookstore and shared meals and ducks in a park. But after the band stand, after “I don’t even like you”, he’s terrified that the thermos will remind Crowley of Aziraphale. He hugs the bible tighter and doesn’t pray. Not to God and not to a demon. When they fight again later, he’s utterly consumed with relief that Crowley is standing there in front of him. He doesn’t tell him. Not until later, after a burnt down bookstore and an airfield and a bus ride and two trials. He tells him then. And after everything, he doesn’t hold the bible close and tight and whisper everything he wants to say into its pages; a demon who, deep down, had a little bit of good in him is there in its place instead. As everything is supposed to be.)

2) Aziraphale gives it to Crowley! Less of an obvious option for a variety of reasons (Crowley isn’t a bibliophile; Aziraphale can’t even admit they’re friends, giving such a gift - its a book! to Aziraphale, giving away a book is almost akin to a marriage proposal! - is too much; it’s a bible, Crowley is a demon, seems obvious). But maybe he does! Ostensibly, he’s spreading Goodness™️ and the Words of the Lord™️, he can sell that to Heaven. But in reality, when Aziraphale first read this, he got the same feeling as when he was asked, “What’s the big deal with knowing right from wrong?” And Crowley, Crowley doesn’t quite scoff at the gift, he’s too busy trying to remain unflustered. He never mentions it again but he cherishes the book. For all his spouting about humans doing Badness™️ enough on their own, he silently clings the their displays of, not Goodness™️, but kindness! And here is a bible full of calling out injustice! Of questioning! Of looking at God and Heaven and saying, “Now wait a minute...” The nights when he wakes screaming and drenched in sweat from a nightmare of burning and falling, the days when his wings ache and his eyes itch and humans are destroying each other without any interference from Hell, he reads and reads and reads until his back aches from sitting in the wrong way and his eyes water from squinting at the same words and humans rally around each other in big and small ways. More than anything though, he cherishes the book because Aziraphale gave it to him. It’s the only thing Aziraphales ever given without some stumbled excuse (it’s one of the few shows of Aziraphale’s doubt, of Aziraphale saying, not aloud but saying nonetheless, “maybe you’re not wrong, maybe things aren’t right, you never should have fallen, I’m sorry). They never mention the book in the first place, much less the inscription written in small, swirling handwriting in the very back that says, “perhaps you did do the right thing in questioning. There is nothing wrong in knowing good from bad.”

(He never pulls it out during the whole apocalypse incident. Not once. It sits, hidden, in his bedroom, worn and a bit tattered and held together by demonic will and Love. He rests a hand on its hiding place after “I don’t even like you” and “it’s over”, eyes flicking to the thermos of Holy Water for just a moment. He’s pulled out the two of them - two things Aziraphale has given him - together before. Always the Holy Water first. It’s those burning, falling, wings aching, eyes itching moments. Moments when he longs for oblivion and peace but then he sees the tartan pattern of the thermos and thinks of a blasted tartan bow tie and pulls out the bible and reads. After his world burns and pages turn to ash and no one answers, no one is there, the bookstore is empty other than him and a gaping cavern tears through him and he’d fall and burn for all of eternity to make this stop, to not have hung up on that last call, to not have lied and said he’d leave and never think of his angel, after his world ends, he’s ready to go to his apartment and run his fingers over the inscription as the water melts him into nothing. But, on his knees, he remembers that the thermos is empty. And all of the faith his angel had in him, a demon, did nothing in the end. Aziraphale still burned. He doesn’t know which side did this but he’s ready to bring them both to their knees, to destroy everything they’ve ever cherished and leave them to suffer through eternity like him, broken and alone and having failed to save what they loved. He refuses to think of the bible. Not until later, after a desperate plan and a little boy’s love for his dad and two trials and a rubber duck and dinner at the Ritz. He thinks of it then. And after everything, he doesn’t cling to the bible and pray to a God that cast him out; an angel who, under tartan and blue eyes and righteousness, was a bastard worth knowing, worth loving, is there in its place instead. As everything is supposed to be.)

3) The two of them got roaring drunk one time and accidentally wrote/drunkenly willed it into existence and neither of them ever admit it to A N Y O N E. They both have a copy though, hidden away. Gabriel also has a copy. In fact, he has many. He actively does not know how to read so he doesn’t actually know what it is that always appears in his possession every time he is on earth (sometimes multiple copies appear). He’s sure they must be a gift from the Lord. He proudly displays them. The angels that can read are too afraid to tell him. God can’t go into Gabriel’s office anymore. Not after she saw the dozens of copies displayed proudly and laughed so hard the Earth had an entire day where nothing bad happened and 4 humans on their way to Hell suddenly found themselves at the gates of Heaven with their names on the entrance list.

Tl;dr: I was given a copy of The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible and my entire body screamed Good Omens and Ineffable Husbands. The idea of Crowley giving it to Aziraphale or vice versus murdered me and my family with feels and sadness and I screamed about that for too many sentences. The idea of Aziraphale and Crowley drunkenly creating The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible and Gabriel being an absolute moron momentarily resurrected my will to live and motivation. So I used that resurrection to write this post. I think I’m funny.

[georgieeebennett]

Close your eyes 24

Summary: Kurt Hummel is the crown prince of the European  country Denmark. He  has a bad relationship with his father and when  Kurt crossed yet another line his father decides to get his son out of  the public eye for a  little while and he sends him to America for a  year. Also on: FF/AO3 Previous chapters

---

“Kurt, you have to see it from my point of view. I can accept whatever you have going on in your private life, but this is about the country." Burt said. It is 10 pm and they have been talking for 3 hours now. They even had dinner while discussing the situation. Neither of them had gave in on what they believed in. But Kurt felt that they were going to have to compromise on it soon. "But, still. This is about me being happy and being true to who I am. There are millions of people around the world like me. I will never fall in love with a woman on that level. Millions of people all around the world are not straight. I could represent them. I could be someone they could look up to. I'm ready for that. I want to represent that. I finally want to be someone. Not just a name. I want to be a person behind the name." Kurt said he was walking around and accentuating his actions with his hands. Being the dramatic person that he is. His father was sitting in the big couch. He looked exhausted.

"Okay. Kurt. I see you. But gay or straight, I expect you to be a responsible king. No sleeping around, no new boyfriend every 2 weeks. I would also appreciate it if you wouldn't talk to your ex troublemaker anymore." Burt said. Kurt looked at his father, his father's words were slowly sinking in. "Do you mean that..?" Kurt asked trying not to sound too exciting. Burt nodded. "If you are really sure that this is the path you want to go down to, then I'll have to respect that. You're an adult now after all. But, there are ground rules. No sleeping around. I do expect children and they better be yours Kurt." Burt said standing up to take a cookie from the dessert tray. Kurt nodded and crossed the room to hug his father. "Thank you, dad. Thank you so much" he said not wanting to let go.

"Kurt, I never wanted your live to be a hell. I never wished that. My life has been hard too. I'm happy that now, we're in this together. We're on the same page and working together instead of against each other." Kurt nodded still hugging his father. He let go and nodded. "So. We're even?" Kurt asked. Burt nodded. "I'm going to call my advisor now and ask him if he wants to let you do an announcement. But, don't worry about that now. Go to bed and sleep. " He said. Kurt shook his head. "I'm going to make that call and you are going to sleep. You look exhausted father." Kurt said walking over to the desk where to phone was standing. "I guess I can trust you. Ask for tomorrow." Burt said before leaving his office.

After Kurt made that phonecall he turned off the light in his father's office and he ran downstairs to the bar. Nobody was really sitting there except for their barman. "Hello prince Kurt" he said teasing him a bit. Kurt smiled, he can't lie that he missed some of the castle staff. After all, that's who he grew up with. "I think you're still too young to come here Prince" mister Peters said. Kurt shook his head. "I'm 18 now. But, I was just going to ask you for a glass of water actually" Kurt said not even bothering to sit down on a chair. "That's strange. Normally I had to make you those big cocktails and pretend there was alcohol in them" he said. Kurt smiled at the memories. "I was 14. I wanted to be cool." Kurt said taking the glass that he was offered. "I want my glass back" mister Peters said. Kurt nodded. "First thing in the morning"

-----

"Are you ready Prince Kurt?" A camera guy said. The autocue was ready and Kurt was standing in the ballroom of the castle. He was wearing a white dress up shirt and a tartan pair of trousers. He paired it with a bowtie that Marc Jacobs had designed for him. It had a real Swiss watch inside. He spent 1 hour doing his hair. So yes. Kurt is ready. He took a deep breath and put on a smile.

"Yes, I'm ready" Kurt said fixing his bowtie one last time. The director started counting him in, the autocue started rolling "3,2,.."

"Dear people of this country

This is your crown prince Kurt. In a few days I'll take over the throne from my father. Before I do that, I would like to be honest with all of you. You might have caught on that I am a tad bit different than my father. I'm doing this announcement because I want to end the discussion about my sexuality. I want to use this moment to officially announce that I am gay. That means that I only am attracted to other men. Having said that I would like to keep my personal life and who I might or might not have relationships with, private. I also want to announce that I made a twitter and Tumblr account, so I stand closer to you guys. If you want more information. You can find it on the national website. This is everything I want to announce. Enjoy your day and I hope to see you all on 5 June" Kurt smiled at the camera and someone thumbed him up.

Kurt clapped in his hands and did a little dance. "Yeah baby" The crew all silently laughed. "How do you feel now Prince Kurt?" The director asked. Kurt smiled and let go of breath of air. "I feel relieved. It's finally out there. I'm finally truly out you know. I haven't spent that much time in the closet. Enough to pick my outfit today of course. But I never hid. It was more other people who wanted me to hide it." Kurt explained. The director nodded. "What are you wearing now Prince?" He asked. Kurt lit up from the question "H&M trousers. I bought them in America. Dior shirt. Doctor Martens boots and my bowtie is something Marc Jacobs designed for me. It's a black fabric where he fizzeled around with a Swiss watch. I really like it." Kurt said. He had no idea they were still filming him. "You should do an outfit of the day on your Tumblr" the director said.  "I'll think about it." He said. He was chatting for 2 minutes more when someone ran in with his phone that he left in the kitchen. "It's an English boy" she said.

-----

Blaine was in his advanced English senior class when the projector stopped and started showing the live announcement of the crown prince. Quinn winked at him when he said that he was gay and Blaine just smiled. But then the announcement was over and the cameras didn't stop filming and Kurt didn't realise it. Everyone started laughing after a while and Blaine tried to understand what Kurt was saying in Danish. "He doesn't even realise it" the teacher said. Laughing at Kurt. Quinn looked at Blaine. "You have to call him" she said. Blaine nodded and looked at the teacher. "Can I?" He asked. The teacher nodded. Blaine quickly called his boyfriend. A woman answered the phone. "Can I talk to Prince Kurt? It's an emergency" She mumbled something in Danish and he heard her walking. It was a long walk. "She's getting him" Blaine said covering the microphone part of his iPhone. The walking kept going on till he heard her saying something to Kurt that he once again couldn't figure out.

"Hey. Blaine. Aren't you in school?" He asked. Blaine looked at the screen and nodded before he realised that he could see Kurt, but Kurt couldn't see him. "I am in class. I got permission to call you because someone had to tell you that you're still on live television" Kurt froze in his spot and looked at the camera or well more behind it. The whole class was looking between Blaine and Kurt although the latter was on live television. Kurt gave someone behind the camera a death glare and turned around and ran out of the ballroom where everyone could still see him till he ran around the corner. "You're out of sight and they stopped the announcement" Blaine said knowing that he would have to hang up. "I swear. I hate them now. I thought it was over" Kurt said. Blaine just hmmed. "Kurt. I would love to talk to you right now but, I'm kind of still in class." He could hear the other man sigh. "I'll just entertain myself then. I'll call when I'm free tonight. Bye Blaine" he said. "Bye Kurt" he quickly put his phone away.

"We didn't know you had royal connections Blaine" one of his fellow classmates said. But it was in Danish, so Blaine stared at him till he repeated it in English. "Yes, Blaine. Share with the class how you have the phone number of the crown prince" the teacher said. Blaine blushed a little. "We were roommates in boarding school." Blaine felt very uncomfortable talking about Kurt so he was very happy when the teacher went on with English lesson.

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