#my criticism of the gargoyles is also one i stand by

[jacquelinemerritt]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame vs. The Prince of Egypt

Originally posted September 21st, 2014

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is actually similar to The Prince of Egypt in a lot of respects. Both films deal with the nature of faith, racial discrimination, and class warfare, and Hunchback also does a fantastic job at showing the atrocities committed in the name of the Catholic Church during the Inquisition. Hunchback’s score is also phenomenal; Hellfire is absolutely brilliant, and its use as Frollo’s motif just adds to how sinister of a villain he is. So what’s wrong with Hunchback then? That I can actually narrow down into two categories: The Romance, and The Comic Relief. (Yes, I’m doing this film differently than The Lion King; work with me here).

The Romance

I’ve heard the arguments for why Quasimodo shouldn’t end up with Esmeralda. And they don’t hold up. Sure, it’s realistic that the ugly guy doesn’t get a pretty girl. Sure, the film did work to establish Phoebus as Esmeralda’s primary love interest. Those are both valid points, and they would both matter if it weren’t for one thing: the film makes us watch as Quasimodo has his dream of romantic love crushed.

Oh, well, THAT’S sure a fucked up message you’re sending, Disney. Apparently ugly guys cannot ever find love beyond platonic relationships and have to accept that that will never change!

It’d be one thing if Quasimodo hadn’t fallen in love with Esmeralda. There’s really no reason for him to be in love with her; everything he does for her could simply be considered a mark of friendship. But this film goes out of its way to directly state that because of how ugly Quasimodo is, he will never find romantic love. Ever. Hell, I’d be okay if they had set up Quasimodo as someone having a childish crush. But he’s very much in love with her, as the voices in his head (aka the gargoyles) make clear.

The only thing I find redeemable in the romance is Quasimodo’s full acceptance of Esmeralda loving Phoebus. That’s a bit of interesting drama that if played correctly, could have turned into a much more interesting story; namely, a story about Quasimodo accepting that being a “nice guy” won’t get you the girl if she’s not romantically interested in you. But instead, it focused on Quasimodo’s devotion to Esmeralda, and made that devotion into one of the key forces that drives the plot.

The Comic Relief

I want to preface this by saying that not all the comic relief in this film is bad. Some of it is fantastic, in fact.

The scene above, The Court of Miracles, is the perfect kind of comic relief for this film. It walks the line between being zany and creepy absolutely perfectly, with a bunch of flamboyantly dressed characters happily dancing and singing about how they plan to kill Quasimodo and Phoebus. It’s a nice, funny interlude that still doesn’t break completely from the gloom and darkness present in the rest of the film, while still providing quality humor and a nice break from Frollo’s rampage. Compare that, to this:

That song does not belong in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It just doesn’t. Nothing about that sequence fits the tone of the film at all, and it ends up just serving as a distraction from the fantastic main story. And the same can be said about any scene containing the gargoyles. I wouldn’t mind there being a quirky sidekick in this film if it was Esmeralda’s, Phoebus’, or even Frollo’s sidekick. They could both be aware of the gravity of the situation and try to make it easier to bear by joking about it. But the gargoyles are completely disconnected from the rest of the plot. They are stone creatures only Quasimodo can see, and their job is to make witty commentary on Quasimodo’s love life; at no point except the final sequence do they interact with any of the main story in any substantial way.

What The Prince of Egypt does better

Everything. The only thing The Prince of Egypt doesn’t do better than Hunchback is criticize the Catholic Church for the Inquisition, and that’s because The Prince of Egypt is set in (surprise) Egypt. Prince of Egypt has a better score (only by a little though), it has better characters and character development, it has better animation, it has a better romance (which thankfully is treated as incidental, since it is only incidental to the plot), and it has much better comic relief. Hotep and Huy are much funnier than the gargoyles, and they fit much better into their story than the gargoyles.

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[popculturebuffet]

Disney 100th Birthday Special: Top 12 Disney Television Animation Shows

Happy Birthday all you happy people! And it's a very special birthday as it's the 100th anniversary of a company that, while I routinely mock on a regular basis for impaling themselves about a dozen time a year, has brought me a lot of joy. It was a 100 years ago that the wonderful world of disney began and 100 years later it's still bringing us some of the finest and funnest animation around and will likely continue for a hundred more as they create a whole disney planet serving up mickey shaped foods for all time around a disney owned star.

So before we can look forward to happiest dystopian future off earth, I thought hard about what I wanted to do for the 100th. I've covered disney a LOT on this blog: season 3 of ducktales AND the arcs for the two seasons before that, seasons 2 and 3 of both amphibia and owl house, classics like the Lion King and A Goofy Movie, a whole year worth of house of mouse reviews, shorts, various comics great and donald being pro illteracy.. the list could go on for an entire article itself.

So while I had PLENTY of options, from a shorts marathon to another movie, I decided the best way to honor this occasion was by focusing on a portion of disney near and dear to my heart: Disney TV Animation.

Way Way Back in the 1980s, DisneyTVA was formed by fresh faced executive overlord Michael Eisner. Eisner was looking to expand his new empire, and found a clever way to do it. See at the time while there were certainly good cartoons, most had the budget of a paper clip and a piece of string. It's why Disney took this long to get into the game: Walt thought he just coudln't get the quality needed on a tv budget and while he WANTED to at some point, he passed before that could happen.

Many laughed at this decision, citing it as a huge money sink waiting to happen.

Yeah critics not taking animation or kids watching it seriously isn't new and assuming they'll just watch anything is laughable. Yes low budget shows like Transformers got plenty of views... but transformers also put in high quality voice actors and intriguging designs. Take both of those and make the animation bouncier, and kids would notice.

And they did: The first Disney TVA show, Gummi Bears, was a massive success, leading to the planet sized one that was Ducktales and a whole legacy of classic shows.

There is a double edged sword here though: While most of these shows are high quality and well loved.. Disney tends to.. ignore they exist. They don't make merch, think adult and teenage fans aren't a think, and when it comes to merch don't usually tend to make it for these shows during or after their runs. There are exceptions and they are reviving stuff.. but disney has a bad habit to prefer cashing in on nostalgia than on what they have now unless it fits their narrow perameters

For me though.. Disney TVA is home to some of the best, most game changing shows in the medium. From shows I grew up with to shows that sadly just ended, Disney has made a ton of shows permeanntly embded in my heart. My doctor says I should get that removed but what does he know. At this studio are creators who are passionate, create unique works, and work very hard to stand out. Even when shows get slapped with the dreaded 2 season limits, they still stick in our hearts not just because of that nostlaagia pop disney wants, but because they were just that good and still hold up into adulthood. I've covered a lot of this library, owe my career to these shows and will never sotp being impressed by them.

So out of the 42 i've seen I whittled it down by 30 which was way harder than it sounded down to the very best. A few shows like Gargoyles I sadly just.. hadn't watched, so if something's missing it was either that or a very hard cut. Whlie the top 8 was shockingly easy, it was hard to narrow this list down to the very best. I'd also like to point out that this is my opinon: feel free to send me your own lists, i'd be curious to see how your own personal experinces shaped yours. But for now this is mine... and this is my top 12 best disney telvision animation shows.

12. The Weekenders Created by Doug Landale 2000-2004 4 Seasons, 76 episodes

Our #12 is a childhood faviorite of mine.. and also one of the two shows your most likely to hear me bitch about disney+ not having. IT'S BEEN ALMOST 4 YEARS.

But bitch complaning about disney being disney aside, the Weekenders is a charming classic that needs more eyes on it and it's weird I haven't covered frankly.

At any rate Weekenders is a slice of life show with a good yet simple hook: it follows 4 middle schoolers, Tino, Carver, Lor and Tish, as through their weekends from Friday after school to monday morning. It allows for the show to do pretty much whatever it wants, and what it wants is to be a fairly lowkey slice of life show. The only really zany element that I can remember, or that I saw in ToonrfiqTariq's excellent retrospective of the series, which you can find here, is main character Tino, a sarcastic but kind guy played by voice acting royalty James Marsden, talking to the audience zack morris style, which is really just a neat way to move things along so it's not that obtrusive. I highly recommend that retrospective by the way. Tariq is awesome and it helped jog my memory on the show.

The series is a fairly low stakes affair: our heroes have a fairly typical problem, they talk it out or deal with it as the weekend goes on, and at least once an episode they go for pizza at an ever changing pizza restraunt with a fun new gimmick each episode, something I loved already as a kid but love even more NOW as an adult knowing that gag was likely a LOT to do. Keep in mind they had to draw new backgrounds, exteriors, and a new costume for the guy running it every time. It's the kind of joke you think a series would've given up on for those reasons but nope, every episode has one.

Weekenders is a throughly charming slice of life show, helped by it's characters: In addition to tino we have the egotistical Carver (Phil LaMarr) thickheaded jock Lor (Grey DeLise) and immigrant nerd and vegtarian Tish. While the four coudl've easily fallen into their sterotypes there's just enough depth to the cast to make them work. Tish in paticular was my faviorite, not only being one of the first immigrant stories in a show I saw that was largely respectful and not just

It's a great show I genuinely wish I had more to say about. Find it somehow if you can, it's entirely worth it.

11. Phineas and Ferb Created By Dan Povmire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh 2007-2015, 20XX- 129 Episodes, 2 Movies, Upcoming Revival

At a time when kids animation wasn't in the best place, Phineas and Ferb was the smash hit we all badly needed. Done by vetran creators and Rocko's Modern Life Alums, Phineas and Ferb was a fun, creative show about two boys who simply wanted to make the best out of summer... and happened to be child progidys only limited by their immgination, so they could do anything and the utterly catchy theme song helpfully outlined it. Having only watched the first three or four seasons, I still don't know if they ever found Frankensteins' Brain. It was over there.

While the a-plots with the boys were great most of the time and had a great supporting cast: Helpful scout Isabella, shrill voiced nerd Baljeet and bully turned buddy Buford, the real draw for most of us was the b-plot: each episode the boys Platapus Perry would sneak out, don a fedora and foil the plots of his arch enemy and best buddy Heinz Doofenschmirtz, an awkward mad scientest who rather than therapy decides to deal with the many, MANY traumas in his life by building various inators and talking to Perry. Their shenanigans inevitibly undo whatever our heroes did in time for their mom to never notice and just think their sister Candance needs help as she tries to bust them.

The show mostly used this loop for it's lengthy run, ocasionally mixing up the setting by visiting the kids grandparents or with a special, but it mostly went like this. This started as the shows strength as the repitition allowed them to REALLY play with the formula: lampshade it, subvert it, and play with it. Sometimes Perry would go to foil doof but it ended up being something benign like Doof trying to do a party for his Daughter or go on a date. Sometimes the boys would genuinely be trying to help Candance or she'd have her own concerns outside of bustin making her feel good. The show packed this with tons of lampshade hanging, catchy songs (after an early one made the network want it once an episode), and genuine heart. It's hard not to root for Phineas and his optimism and genuine cheer. Depsite "driving our sister insane" being a main lyric.. the kid has nothing but love in his heart for his sister and that simple goal of just wanting to do something fun or help someone each day makes this one of the sweeetest shows around.

So your probably wondering why it's so low. And it's really simple: it's constant status quo.. kind of wore it out for me. After a while there was no real reason for Linda NOT to know the boys were doing this. We never got any indication she'd care beyond "Maybe wear a helmet" or "Have candace watch you", neither of which would really STOP what they do every day. While Across the Universe was a great movie it having a MASSIVE snapback at the end is what eventually got me out of the show. It was hard to invest when the show wasn't willing to really change anything. In hindsight I do get some shows just function better as status quo shows and my bitterness has lessened and it's why this show ended up making the list: it's status quo could be frustrating.. but no one had more fun playing with it at the time than these two kids. And the hunchbacked old man what fights/is common lawed married to their platypus.

10. American Dragon: Jake Long Created by Jeff Goode Developed by Eddie Guzelian and Matt Negrete 2005-2007 2 Seasons, 52 Episodes AmDrag was part of the teen superhero boom on kids shows in the 2000's. Classics like Danny Phantom, My Life as a Teenage Robot, El Tigre and more came about at this time, with disney only dipping it's toes in twice with this show and another we'll get to soon enough.

That said.. American Dragon is an excellent show, mostly down to it's core: The show follows the titular Jake Long, a guy who on surface, from rapping part of his theme to his frosted tips to his skateboard comes off very much like an energy drink came to life and starred in it's own show. Which given the 2000's i'm very suprised never happened. But jake is somehow likeable.. he's a bit arrogant sure, but his arrogance is only in his skill: He genuinely does try his best as protector of new york, cares about his friends and cares heavily about his crush Rose. He's got a heart to him beneath the layers of axe body spray and Dante Basco's standout performance, what would easily have been his defining role as a VA had avatar not come along soon after, helps make this guy feel human.

What also helps boost it's show is it's myth arc. Like Danny Phantom a year before it, AM Drag breaks from the style of the time to have a dedicated arc and continuity. There's plenty of monster of the week stuff, some better (like the oracle twins, easily my faviorite side characters , who also have the fun gimmick of one being super cheery yet predicting horrible things and the other being jaded but seeing only good, with their powers being why (If you see every good thing that you'll ever get it makes it hard to enjoy them and if you see every possible horrible thing that happens to you, it makes the other stuff easier to swallow), some worse, and that can be a weaker part of the show.

But it's core arcs are what make the show it's most intresting. For the first season and a half we have the shows best: Jakes battles with the huntsclan, the foot clan.. if they were violent racists who slaughter magical creatures. Granted we don't SEE that on screen but the show does a good job showing us that no, that's what they are.

This itself would likely work.. but what makes it special and standout for the time it came out.. is the wrinkle they throw in: Huntsgirl, the Huntsclan's #1 guy and sidekick to the huntsman.. is Jake's crush Rose, a fairly well adjusted kind girl who simply dosen't know what she's been indoctrinated into, thinking Dragons are evil. This is a nice change of pace as at the time most relationships with teens and tweens in cartoons were either between some popular slab of cardboard of the characters best friend.

Instead Rose SEEMS to be the cardboard type.. but not only has depth outside of the hood, but the fact the audience can easily tell who huntsgirl is, Mae Whitman has a distinctive voice after all and as usual does a fantastic job only adds the tension: We know who rose is, but Jake doesn't and early on we don't know how much of her is real. And once the secret breaks we get the drama of both dealing with not only being on opposite sides but Rose realizing she was on the wrong one.

The arc after, focusing on a dark dragon isn't as strong in comparison, but it's also not entirely fair given they likely though they'd have another season and a half to wrap it up proper. That being said the series also has an interesting arc with Jake's overachieving younger sister, who goes from knowing about the dragon thing (his whole family does minus his dad for.. some reason) and showing some powers.. to being a dragon herself and often her brother's sidekick.

The show had it's weaknsesses, outside of the big bads there was never really much of an interesting Rogue's Gallery, Trixie felt a bit flat as a character, and again there was no good reason Jake's dad shouldn't know so we got stupid groundings and such. But we also got a compelling enemies to lovers arc with a lot of tension, a nice mythology, and profressor rotwood, Jakes teacher and magic hunter, a fun butt monkey for the show. It's a solid show that i'd love to see get a revivial.

9. Wonder Over Yonder Created by Craig McCracken 2013-2016 43 Episodes

Wonder Over Yonder is one of Disney's more infamous cancelations. Despite being DisneyXD's #1 show they not only barely promoted it, I wasn't aware the second season was going on till it was almost over and still need to get around to watching it, Disney cancelled it. Despite being well loved Disney cancelled it. It's not the worst cancellation on this list, that comes later, but it's still a pretty dang bad one. The fact they didn't put the show on Disney+ for some time dosen't exactly help.

Why Disney hated this show so much I'll never know as Wonder is one of the most heartfelt and creative show's disney put out. And keep in mind as I said i've only seen season 1. I know it gets even better with season 2's dedicated story arc and the introdcution of lord dominator. I've seen the musical number.

Wonder took inspiration from, of all things, dr. seuss, with Craig being an admitted fan of 60's and 70's astetics already, it just flowed naturally as we got the tail of a gentle tumbleweed whose kind and thoughtful to everyone he meets wether they desreve it or not and his tough as nails steed and best friend sylvia. The rolls are easily the best of Jack McBrayer and April Winchel's long careers, nicely contrasting each other in perfect ballance: Sylvia fights the battles wonder can't win with kindness or is too oblvious to realize he's in, Wonder wins fights simply by being too cheery and oblivious to beat.

Over their journey's they repeadtely run into our other main characters, Lord Hater, played by the awesome Keith Fergeuson, an over the top skeletial manchild who badly wants to be taken seriously but is too impulsive, stupid, and easily angered for him to actually achieve that depsite the help of Commander Peepers, his #2 and put upon lackey. Add in tons of great sets, fun scnearios and creative uses of animatoin and you have something unforgitable. McCracken really loves to play with storytelling here, from your standard genre breaks to simply taking a conventional tale like a kinight rescuing a princess.. and turn it into our heroes accidently assitating a stalking jerk and said princess easily clocking him one before they can all unite to save him. The show had so much fun with it's cast and heart in it it's really hard not to like and while it sadly ended too soon what we got... is something magical.

8. Clerks the Animated Series Created by Kevin Smith 2000 6 Episodes Like most of you are as you read this entry, I was suprised to find Disney TVA made this. To date this is Disney's only adult animated series, and the fox acquisition giving them a full studio for that tells me it'll likely stay this way unless they do something actiony for disney +. It's also far and away the shortest lived show on this list. only airing two of it's 6 produced episodes, neither of which was the actual first episode. ABC didn't like what they got, they buried it, standard corprate procedure, and thanks to DVD and Comedy Central airings the show went from quickly forgotten weird relic to one of the best animated adaptations out there and one of the poster children for shows too good to last.

I grew up with this show. Since I was too young for the kevin smith movies my brother was obessed with, the series was the first Kevin Smith related thing I ever watched and it's stayed with me since. The show's short.. but it's 6 episodes are absolutely STUFFED with great jokes. I could honestly spend the rest of the article quoting this series, from "Hey, it's ted danson" to "Why are we walking like this" to "The weed of crime bears bitter fruit you old hag!".... and that's just the second episode. Admitely in terms of tone, Clerks TAS.. is nothing like the movie. The original Clerks was a fairly low key film mostly driven by our leads Dante and Randall's conversation and the various people who came in. It was a character piece about being stuck in a dead end job, about ignoring rules versus blindly following them, and about two stoners who were in it for 5 minutes but became the backbone of this cinematic universe because their the best.

Clerks the Animated Series instead is a gleefully wacky romp where our heroes can't say fuck but do get into sitcommy hyjinks, from clipshows, to a rival buisness across the way, to the deadly motava virus, to a pastiche of the last starfighter turning into a pastiche of the bad news bears then a pastiche of temple of doom. As you can tell this show is kinda nuts and really just Kevin Smith getting to be all kinds of redicluous in the funniest way possible. He replaced being able to say fuck and talk about sex with hyjinks and turned randall from a charming if assholish slacker into one of the best dumbasses in animation. The show is a near constant laugh riot, beautifully animated too. It also naturally has the boys, with Jay and Silent bob still getting in lots of neat antics even if they can no longer deal on screen. Clerks the Animated series is one of the funniest shows there's ever been and I highly recommend seeking it out.

7. Milo Murphy's Law Created by Dan Povemire and Jeff "Swampy" Marsh 2016-2017, 2019 46 Episodes

Meet the show disney somehow treated WORSE than the last two. I swear when I put this list together I did not realize these three would be clustered together.

But yes, when I said there was a worse cancelation I meant it: Milo Murphy's Law was the dwampy duo of Phineas and Ferb.. and got utterly buried because Disney was mad it wasn't the mega hit that show was, forgetting that was also a fairly slow burn, or that you kow THIS IS A DIFFRENT SHOW. So they not only barely promoted the second half of season 1.. but then just sat on season 2 for a full year, with many an episode airing elsewhere long before that and released it over a few weeks. They then just.. straight up ended production to make a phineas and ferb movie. In fact despite a full soundtrack apparently existed only ONE song's gotten released from the show in full thanks to said movie's soundtrack. To say Disney screwed this show over is putting it lightly.

And it's a huge shame this show got buried as it did as Milo.. is freaking awesome. I mean I gave it a shot from episode one simply because it had Weird Al attached. Even if i'd gotten burned out on the previous show, i'll give anything Al's in a shot.

And that shot was worth it as from the first episode to the last, Milo is a truly charming show with, say it again ya'll, "a truly unique premise" . Disney has a knack for those don't it?

MML follows Milo Murphy, a happy go lucky 6th grader who meets new kid in town Zack.. who soon finds out Milo has a family curse, based on, of course, Murphy's Law; if something can go wrong, it will. So the universe bends over backwords to try to murder this tween and anyone around him... hence why while everyone likes Milo well enough, only his feisty hustler best friend Melissa really hung around before Zack took a chance on his new pal.

What makes the series great though is that Milo... dosen't ever angst about having murphy's law. You'd think with his life being a constant never ending string of disaster dominos, the guy would give up or we'd have one episode of him bedguging all he's missed out on. Instead.. Milo sees his life as an adventure, enjoys in the shenanigans he gets into and simply packs his backpack to be prepeared and keep his spleen in tact. He's a sweet, kind, optimist who helps people no matter what and dosen't let his curse get him down or stop him from living his life. It's milo that makes the show this good, having to both work around his jinx as well as many an adventure coming from people's reaction to him: From his love intrest Amanda intitally avoiding him due to being a perfectionist only to let him in more once she realizes what a kind guy he is, to the local security guard played byc hristan slater being an absolute dick to him, we see how it impacts his life.. but how he also enjoys his life regardless.

The series also has it's own perry equilvent, Dakota and Cavendish, who genuinely drive the seasons story arcs, two time policeman and ambigously gay duo who try to prevent pistachos from being destroyed.. then do the opposite once i'ts clear it'll cause the end of the world. They add to the story.

What puts this show up here, and way above phineas is that it's not afraid of change: the basic status who dosen't, but the show has a story arc for each season, characters grow and change with Zack getting more used to the chaos around his bestie, the relationship with amanda I mentioned, and most importantly Dakota and Cavindish finding out about milo fairly early on and vice versa, allowing their plots to intersect. It's also really damn funny.

Honestly the show's only this low because the top 6 are REALLY that good.. and because season 2 kinda crams Dr. Doofinschrmitz in there on what feels heavily like an executive mandate. Sometims he cab be a bit overbearing.. but the show's still up this high because frankly, Doof was the best part of his previous show and still gets a LOT of great material, paticuarlly this bit.

Also his friend there is Jeff. Jeff is a man who lives underground. He's great. And this series is, badly underated. I can't wait to see these characters again as it's been directly said that while their tabling it for the first two seasons apperances by characters from the previous two shows aren't off the table for hamster and gretel, they just learned from this one to wait, but while I wait.. what we got.. is still damn magical.

6. Kim Possible Created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle 2002-2007 4 Seasons, 82 Episodes, 2 Movies, 1 Live Action Reboot Film

Kim Possible was one of my faviorite shows as a kid, and for good reason. Even over two decades later, the show still holds up as a smart, hilarious, and well done spy show. I also will gladly count it as part of the teen superhero boom as it hits a lot of those tropes too.

The setup however is nicely unique: Rather than work for a big spy orginzation (Though she does freelance in a few episodes for SHIELD expy Global Justice), or for money or what you'd expect from a world class adventuerer and super spy, Kim is just an above average teen whose fairly smart, popular and really damn good at both gymnastics and kicking people who does the job because it's the right thing to do and her organization is really just four people: herself, Wade, a child progidey who finds jobs for her, Ron, her best friend, eventual love interest, and overly panicky but loveable goofus, and Ron's pet Rufus who counts because he saves their lives quite a bit simply by being in ron's pocket and being smart enough. He's also a naked mole rat and the reason I know those exist.

While the show has a strong supporting cast with screen legends Gary Gole and Jean Smart as Kim's Rocket Science and Neurosurgeon parents, her annoying twin brothers, her sarcastic best girl friend monique, her annoying rival bonnie and my personal faviorite her authorative yet still resonable and utterly hilarious teacher Mr. Barkin, played by my boy Patrick Warburton, one of it's biggest strengths is Kim's Rogue's gallery.

Like I said with americna dragon a lot of the weakness for these teen hero shows is that they genuinely only have one or two major foes that are actually you know.. memorable. In contrast Kim has a LOT of intresting and fun villians of the week, not a huge pool but enough to keep it intresting with plenty of fun one offs. The main one is Dr. Drakken, played by John Dimaggio in one of his best parts and Shego, played by Nicolle Sulivan in her best role, an over the top , hammy shortsighted blue mad scientest and his snarky assitant who does most of the punching and is easily kim's physical equal. The two show up the most out of Kim's rogues, and while this on paper could get reptitive the two's banter is great, they play off our heroes fantastically, and they frankly never seemed to run out of great schemes for Dr. D to do.

There were other greats too, my personal faviorites being Senior Senior Senior and Senior Senior Junior, character actor Ricardo Montalban in his best role as a rich old man who after accidently blacking out paris, takes ron's suggestion he had all the makings of a super villian to heart and using his vast wealth to arch our heroes for fun while Junior.. badly dosen't want any part of this. Ther'es tons more I could gush about from DNAmy to the bebes, to my boy Frugal Lucre, a guy who works at a wallmart expy and barely spends money on his arching suplies.

The show's other weapon is it's writing: it's clever, hilarious, and the main duo are incredibly likeable: Kim is incredibly compitent but just as prone to teen angst as anyone her age, while Ron is incredibly panicky and goofy but far more compitent than he seems or he thinks himself to be. Our leads, Kristy Carlson Romano and va god Will Fridle in my faviorite role of his, have an effortless chemstriy between them, even before it turns romantic. You see how valuable their friendship is and how much they need each other even when they bicker.. and it turning romantic just feels.. natural. There's a risk there, and i'll likely go more into tha twhen I eventually cover so the drama (Either later this year if I can squeeze it in or early next year), but needless to say their the gold standard for friends to lovers and I love them.

The show is just.. damn good and worth checking out if you haven't. It's on Disney+ , all of it including the reboot film which is.. alright. not as good as the series but thanks to great casting and the creators involvment , still solid. Call it, beep it, reach it, it's a masterpiece and I badly hope those revivial rumors are true as i'd love to see this cast as adults.

5. Amphibia Created by Matt Braly 2019-2022 3 Seasons, 58 Episodes

Anoyone whose seem this blog before probably saw this coming. I mean I covered two whole seasons of the show and deeply love it's main cast. And Maddie. God bless my creepy frog daughter. So it being this high up isn't a huge shock.. but damn if it dosen't deserve it. Amphibia isn't perfect: some of the one off episodes, even those important later, aren't the best... but the show still plays one of the best long games in animation. The character arcs are well set up from the get go and we follow our lead Anne Boonchuy from reckless and irresponsible teen plunked into a frog world to a strong empathetic heroine who has to save both worlds from a tyrant and his abusive computer dad. Along the way there's betrayal, slice of life shenanigans, and lots of cleverly done worldbuilding. And some padding. There's just a touch padding. But the strong character arcs not just for Anne but her friends (With Sasha being my easy faviorite but Marcy not exactly far behind and complex and engaging enough to get her own spinoff journal), found family and even her earth family. It's a beautifully done three act story: what seems like a lonnnng time spent in the rural town of Wartwood ends up not only buliding up the show's supporting cast but characters who are vital to the world's salvation later. The second season shows how far anne has come while also building out the world, continuing Sasha's arc as she spirals further and giving us the glory that is marcy, cumilating in season 3, a fantastic season that reverses the premise to amazing effect and ends with a truly satisfying conclusion.. even if SOME of the getting there is messy. Hey it's #5 for a reason.

IT's a well built, hilarious, and heartfelt human into swamp water story, and one of my faviorites. I only don't say TOO much as I want anyon ewho hasn't to try this themselves. Amphibia is a masterpiece and if you haven't seen it it's WELL worth the binge with one of the best voice casts in animation (Something that's really true for everything from far out), really choice world building, and a satsifying ending. This section may of been short but damn if i don't love this show with a lot of my heart.

4. Gravity Falls Created by Alex Hirsch 2012-2016 2 Seasons, 40 Episodes

Another fairly obvious pick.. but one I weirdly HAVEN'T covered on this blog. I'll really have to fix that next year. Still just because something's obvious dosen't make it any less true. Gravity Falls is easily one of the most influental animated series of the 2010's, right up there with adventure time in kicking off the animation renaissance of that era and several of it's crew, including Matt Braly from the previous entry and a certain someone else coming up, going on to make stellar shows of their own.

It's rep and influence is well earned: Gravity Falls, like, as i've realized writing this, EVERY show on this list has a very simple elvator pitch: two kids spending the summer with their weird elderly uncle at his toursist trap get into paranormal shenanigans: Dipper as he tries to unwrap the mysteries of their temproary home and Mable as she tries to make friends, find a boy to smooch and genuinely ambles through life. She also gets a pig.

The simple setup belies not only a fairly intriguing mystery with a truly amazing twist halfway through season 2, but a fun arc villian in LIttle Gideon, the con artist next door, town hero and phony psychic, but a one of a kind, memorable and all time great vilian in Bill Cipher, a little triangle man who also happens to be a mad nightmare god trying to get into our dimension whose Chucky levels of deeply disturbing and terrifying as he is incredibly funny and charastmatic.

The rest of the cast is no slouch: Dipper and Mable are incredibly likeable, Wendy is great, played by personal faviorite of mine Linda Cardenlli and criminally underused and Soos, voiced by Hirsch along with Stan, Bill and MANY other characters, is a loveable dum dum 20 something who treats our heroes like surrogate siblings.

The real star of course, and the show stealling heart of the show is Stan Pines, the kids corrupt uncle and one of the most hilarious, and once we learn his deal heartbreaking and suprisingly complex, characters in all of animation. This show is on this list on it's own merits but woudln't nearly be so high without stan, a constant laugh machine, quote factory and powerhouse performance by Hirsch, who despite being new to voice acting steps into it like he's done this for decades. From teaching a bear to drive, to wondering if it's wrong to punch a child to "yes yes burn the child" and of course his greatest folly

Stan constantly boosts the show by existing. Add in strong character ties, a compelling mystery and, like most shows this high up a hell of a finale, and you have a true classic that understadnably changed animation forever.

Also i'm pretty sure Stan killed at least two people in that clip. No one ever talks about that. I mean I knew he had a body count but still.

3. Recess Created by Paul Germaine and Joe Ansolabehere 1997-2001 4 Seasons, 65 Episodes, 4 Movies

Recess is the oldest work on this list, ending just before KP and American Dragon started (though it'd air long into their runs as this show ran forever and rightfully so). It was also part of my childhood, airing long after it finished and being tender the whole way through.

Recess is a masterwork: while many a show stuck with me from childhood this is one that thinking back I can remember the episodes vividly, and given my memory is spotty that says something. It's a show with a lot of style, having it's characters dressed out of the 50s and 60s, with a cold war subtext I never had, but keeping it in the present to relate to kids when it's airing. It creates a vibe tha'ts both of it's time (the monstickers ep is very much of the pokemon boom), and timeless (kids STILL collect pokemon cards and despite some morons best efforts have recess and still form little clicks).

It takes two simple things kids grapple with, unfair teachers and authority figures and cliques and social circles and simply blows it up to be as big as it was in our heads: I remember having epic duels with the kids I played with , wars, whole conflicts and recess meets things on that level: the world of recess is one where the playground has a lineage of kings, the kindergartners are a feral tribe, two kids can reguarly acess shovels, and the local snitch is some sort of combination of gollumn and a weasel while keeping it just grounded enough for adults to relate to. Where rebelling against authority involves elaborate heists.

It's a perfect kind of show for kids: it meets them on their level, as it did when I was a kid.. but is smart enough that as an adult you can still enjoy it. It helps that most of the cast is three dimensional:

TJ is a loveable scamp.. but a good chunk of his schemes aren't just to stick it to the man or get some reward for him and his running crew, but to help kids. TJ's just as likely to break out of detention as he is to help a kid this week simply because they need it. He'll even help Randall, the local snitch I mentioned, despite his better judgment, simply because it's the right thing to do. He'll have to be talked into it because.. it's Randall. Randall sucks, But he'll do it. Spinelli is the tomboy of the group and will fight everyone, but has a good side to her and struggles with being a girl when she relates more to being masculine, something that's only become more relevant with time and can be read a lot of ways. Mikey is the big kid.. but a soft kind giant who deals with being sterotyped for his side. Vince is the sports kid... and okay most of his plots are around that, but we do get neat bits like him being ashamed his brother is basically urkel and having to learn his brother still slaps because unlike Urkel he dosen't harass women. Gretchen is a massive nerd, and the first role in Ashely Johnson's long and storied career, but also gladly paticipates in the schemes, has a lot of heart, and struggles.

And finally we have my boy Gus, the new kid at the start and the one I related most to being a nerdy nervous wreck myself: but he's gladly accepted into the rest of the gang, and finds a home at long last after moving around his whole life. He's got layers to him: he's a military brat, he's never really had stablility int erms of friendship, and he's often put upon, having to deal with King Bob being a jerk to him for being the new kid or bullies. Yet he's got a good heart despite being the nervous one of the group the biggest heart of them and will gladly stand up for himself when the chips are down.

Not only are these 6 fleshed out and relatable.. but they have a wholesome friendship. They'll fight sometimes, kids do, but despite being vastly diffrent people who on paper shoudln't really be hanging together.. you never doubt they like each other or would drop everything to help one another. Mostly because a good chunk of episodes are just that. Gretchen and Gus are never picked on by their friends.. teased a little, maybe , Spenelli be like that, but these six kids love and respect each other on level that's just heartwarming. You never doubt for a second these six are friends, even with Gus not having their shared history. He just fits because they like him, he's willing to do what's right, and he's a good kid. TJ is brave and noble, Spnelli is tough but dosen't punch down, Vince is cool, Mikey is insightful and kind, Gretchen is smart and clever and Gus ahs a good heart. You see the good they see in each other and it shows our diffrences.. make us better. There may be cliques at recess, but when the chips are down, TJ can get them to work together.

The series also just had a knack for creating really memorable episodes that feel entirely relatable: a trading card style boom leads to TJ becoming a rags to riches tycoon, swinger girl who always swings trying to do what all kids did and reach the other side leads to a tale about things we can't explain when she seemingly dissapears, a simple punishment leads to TJ"s teacher psychologically torturing him, a fake swear word leads to an ENTIRE COURT CASE, all stuff that's somehow realistic. The show's premise was a tool box that allowed them to tell a ton of diffrent stories, a lot of which with really adult, meaningful lessons, and the show never really got old. It only ended because Disney's attempts to continue it simply didn't work out and even with the 5th grade eps as an epilogue, it has a hell o a finale in the movie. The whole run's on disney+ and I.. really need to revisit it.. and to review it next year if possible.

2. The Owl House Created by Dana Terrace 2020-2023 3 Seasons, 43 Episodes

Let's face it even if the article image hadn't tipped my hat here.. this one being high up .. was a given. I've gushed about this show at length, covering it as season's 2 and 3 ran out, written fanfiction on this blog, and since I started doing them the show's always ranked decently on my 20 best animated episodes lists I do each year, and will likely have a spot this year for the finale. My love of this show is something I don't remotely hide and have no reason to. So it being #2 on this list is an obvious pick.. but one i'm happy to be obvious with. In fact with these last two their pretty nearly tied in my heart and it was one inching out the other.

And the weird thing is.. I didn't even watch all of season 1. I watched the first half much as I could, but while I liked it I didn't get really heavy into it. The characters were charming, the designs great and it was nice to have a show where Wendy Malick was not only voice acting, but had a MAJOR role that really let her show off her chops. I've always loved her and it was a lot of fun to get a roll this good. It was also nice to have Alex Hirsch back. The show wasn't without style, a compelling lead, a hell of a romantic arc or other attractions.. but it wasn't till later in season 1 when classicsl ike encahnting grom fright and the finale REALLY made the show into what it became.

This lead to season 2.. which is one of the best seasons of television i've ever seen, and tha'ts with the fact that halfway through they had to massively reorganize the plot to fit into 10 episodes and 3 specials, something that's only really noticable in hindsight. And i'm not hyperbolizing: the show was good before.. but season 2 enriches everything, giving the characters more depth, paticuarlly king who goes from an afterthought in season 1 to the emotoinal core of the season and Alex Hirsch's best roll... which given Stan above says a LOT. Season 2 takes the foundations of the show and really plays with them, with pretty much everyone getting a deeper character, the school stuff forced into season 1 downplayed into just showing up as needed, allowing for way more story freedom and belos increased presence and hell of a true self reveal giving us one of Disney's greatest villians. Add in hunter as a new main cast member and best good soft boy, and you have a riviting saga that kept me enthralled the whole season. Even the weaker episodes add something, and the result is something that can't be topped: a show tha'ts funny, heartfelt, unmistakably queer and unquestionably well crafted.

It also managed to pull off one hell of an ending, not only introducing my murder child who learns his lesson the collector, but doing so with only three specials to wrap up what they shoul'dve had a season to. It's a show that like Gravity Falls before it is bound to really shake up animation and influence many a show to come an dI can't wait to see the results. A true epic about finding yourself, religious indoctrination and eldrich owl and tube shaped parasites, this show is something that may never be topped and was an utter joy while it lasted. Hoot.

1. Ducktales Based on DuckTales by Jim Magon /Uncle Scrooge by Carl Barks Developed by Matt Youngberg and Francisco Angones 2017-2021 3 Seasons, 69 Episodes Like #2... #1 is a show my love of has been transparently obvious: Covering season 3 started this blog, i've covered seasons 1 and 2's story arcs, and done a ton of other duck stuff from a full three cabs retrospective, to donald shorts to the very duck adjacent goofy movie. While I haven't done as much duck content this year, a shame really, and still need to finish my life and times retrospective some day... my love of Disney's Ducks has been something i've had since college and this series not only revitalized it but sent it into the fucking stratosphere with the gold standard for reboots. DuckTales is the only show here based on an existing IP, but still manages to be super creative with it. Matt and Frank took nearly 100 years of Duck stories (not hyperbole, Donald turns the big 1-0-0 himself next year), taking from the legendary barks comics, the worthy successor rosa comics, the giant pile of European duck comics, the shorts, the movies, anything Donald , Scrooge or the Boys had been in, every bit of the disney afternoon, and everything else they could shove in to creat the defintive duck universe: Something that fully and lovingly respects what cames before but uses it all to create something fresh and wholly it's own. The cast is a nice mix of reinventions of old characters and brand new ones just as good if not even better.

This can be seen well with the core cast: Scrooge only gets changed slightly, but those slight changes were BADLY needed: Scrooge is still a guy with flaws: he can get far too focused on the goal ahead and not the human cost, is egotstical as all hell, and disconected from the common person. He can raid a tomb better than anyone, sorry Indy and Lara, but god help him if he tries doing an interview or produce a film. It's a nice ballance: he's out of touch and crotchety as usual, but far less of an abusive asshole. It's also clear that while the bin stores a lot of his treasures, and he won't take one if it's owners need it, being more than happy to give Djinn his family's lamp for instance, with it only being a whole thing because Louie sold it. It paints him more as a historian than a theif and robber baron, while still keeping the nice flaws that make him who he is: he's still cheap, he just won't underpay his staff and in fact mostly recurits people other employers give up on for being too weird.

The rest of the cast is given a more extensive but needed overhall: My boy Donald is less of the likeably selfish ass he usually is, instead a loveable dad who still destroys everything he touches, but spends the first two seasons living entirely for his kids. He's more mature while still being the idiot we love.

Everyone else.. is a huge change as I said. The biggest and best.. is the boys. Usually Huey, Dewey or Louie are a hive mind of goody goods.. or obnoxious boys. Depends on what the story needs. It always annoyed me that when you have three characters there their not at all distinct and there's no real need for them. Thankfully the creators of this show understood that and thus evolved the boys into three seperate people: Huey is more like the barks comics versions, a junior woodchuck, close to his mom and uncles, and exitable.. but with a nice fine pace of neurodivergence and anxiety that not only makes him relatable to me but a fairly likeable kid: one scared of change but with all the potetial in the world. Dewey takes ab it after the more sterotypically 80s moments of the boys in the show, being a rad dude with a penchant for acting out.. but instead of a sexist bully or jerk like the boys could be, Dewey is a pure theater kid who badly wants attention and has no impulse control. He's basically Hank Venture , age 12 and i'm here for it. Finally Louie takes the boys more scheming moments from the comics and shows and boils it down into a gen z slacker who wants to work smater not harder, and not work at all if needed, who evolves from heartless lazy schemer and evil triplet to a keep observer whose just mildly shady.

While the barks 5 are all acounted for we also get nice overhauls for the ducktales three original core characters: Webby gets the best, going from just "small baby child babY" to a hyperactive girl who is easily near scrooge's level in adventureeing.. but has no idea how to socalize and still loves sparkles. She's empathetic, brave, and a contrast to what woudl turn out to be her old man: instead of growing to shut people out , she starts out badly wanting to let everyone end. Beakley likewise gets a glow up from "old lady stertotype whose constantly flustered" to "badass british former secret agent, only sane man and gender swapped brock sampson" , with Launchpad being made a loveable doofus, but still compitent since Donald's here to be the everyman.

The cast.. only gets better as it goes: Ducktales took a huge leap and decided "Hey what ABOUT the triplet's mom" turning della from a question mark that was answered all of once across nearly a century.. to a character just as vallad as her brother and uncle who have said near century on her: Della is Donald's opposite: brave, confident.. but a mess herself and stuck on the moon for half the series. Paget Brewster does a phenominal job.

I emphasise the series characters.. because tha'ts it's heart: it has solid plots, revamps and what not.. but it's a giant, instnatly loveable cast of characters: The side cast is MASSIVE pulling from all over duck history: Fehtry makes his debut, Gladstone is taken from easily one of my most hated characters in the comics to a far more loveable schister, Rockerduck finally debuts, Glomgold is turned from "Scrooge but evil" to someone badly trying to copy scrooge and the most glorious weirdo in all of fiction. Seriously Keith Fergusons glomgold is fucking majestic, and while he's never really a major threat his overinfalted ego, lack of planning, obessions with sharks and bombs and general haminess made him one of the best parts of this. You also get Magica as a genuine threat , and a mess later, Scooge's parents having a more active roll, Fenton having more of his own personality and weird swing for the fences complete and utter makeovers like Doofus Drake going from doofy kid to a very weird child who needs therapy, Donald's neighbor nemisis being his therapist or taking the zombie from voodoo hoodo, one of th emost racist and questionable things in duck comics history.. and instead making him into an unstopable juggernaut frankenstein curse ont he rich.

And of course the original cast.. is impecable. My adopted Daugther Lena is the clear standout, having covered her whole story arc on here and loving the character a lot, A cool teen TM who ends up being a traumtized girl badly needing a home, her stoic and neurodivergent sister violet, the egon to her venkman, fuckboy Mark Beaks, great final boss Bradford, gay icon Storkules, gay icon Selene, everyone's least faviorite dick Zeus.. I really coudl go on for some time and easily could but this article has taken a while. The show just had a knack for memorable loveable characters and making this world feel truly alive and humungous and scope, with gorgeous art designs.

It also had a great throughline, with Scrooge going from a man who pushed everything a way.. to the man who truly has everything, everyone growing along the way, and a finale that while a bit messy and leaving us hungering for more, really got to the hart of the show: a family that comes together after being torn apart and adds a LOT to them. It's a show unlike any other, and was truly the dream of a life time.. and I coudln't put anything else at #1. Thanks for reading.

[beatthegame]

I just beat the shit out of Elden Ring! It's the least I could do after the game crushed my soul on my first two attempts. But this time, it was personal! Despite being a critically acclaimed gaming masterpiece, I hated it! Grinding for hundreds of hours building your character. one. point. at. a. time. Enduring through frustrating boss encounters. Getting killed by broken enemies clipping through solid surfaces. Collecting a wide assortment of useless items and magic spells. Immersed in a vast, enchanted world with zero context. On paper, Elden Ring checked off all the boxes necessary to enjoy an epic open world adventure. Yet, the game fails in so many different ways, it's overwhelming. Elden Ring was an absolute nightmare. And yet, despite all of the nonsense, I COULD NOT STOP PLAYING! LMFAO!

In a nutshell: Even after enduring 300 plus hours, I still don't know what this game is about? I know that you play as a "tarnished soul" caught up in a war between gods over this magic ring, right? Your very existence is a revenge plot from the slain goddess Marika to wipe out all the demigods in "The Lands Between" and become the new Elden Lord. Although there is no explanation why anyone would want to do something like that? Like, what's wrong with the old elden lord? Why do I want to take his job? What's so great about being elden lord anyway? Aside from sitting on a sweet chair at the end? Bottom line: the game is simply about challenging boss fights and collecting treasure. If that's all you want, then this game delivers.

The Good: Easily one of the most visually stunning games available on any video game console. Kudos to the FromSoftware art direction team for building all of the visual assets in this game. The amount of detail put into everything is really admirable. From the customizable character building to the intricate weapon, enemy and environmental designs. A majority of the visuals are pure nightmare fuel! Which built a consistent sense of dread wandering through the world. Add the fact that you can't pause the game, able to get killed in a myriad of ways, including the threat of permanently losing experience points established an unsolicited level of anxiety between encounters. Not exactly a good thing? But it's a unique gameplay element that stands apart from other titles. While a majority of the fights were incredibly frustrating by design. You can't deny how INTENSE a lot of these fights were! My heart was pounding through my chest during a lot of these boss fights. Notably the Godskin Fights, Crucible Knights, Gargoyles, that Lake of Rot Tree Cunt. But the sense of relief after defeating one of these frustrating fucks was electrifying! Slowly but surely, you get stronger and the fights become less of a burden. Like, there IS an easy mode available in Elden Ring. But you have to earn it!

I also like the versatility of the character classes depending on how you allocate your skill points. Although I decided to focus on Strength, Endurance and Dexterity. You have the option to lean towards Arcane & Intellegence for magician builds. Or perhaps you'd want to build on defense and ranged attacks to kill enemies from a distance? It is appreciated how the game flow will drastically change depending on the style of play you choose to advance with. And a huge thanks to our trustworthy horse/yak companion Torrent. Traveling the surface world was a lot more pleasant thanks to you.

The Bad: I already stated how much I hate this game. Pointing out all the flaws again is exhausting. However, you have to give credit that it took several gameplay attempts to realize that there is a gem underneath all the layers of dung that initially made the game unplayable.

Overall: I really wanted to love this game. It took effort but in the end, it truly was a unique experience. Just like high school! It was a fun, traumatic experience. Glad that it's over. Would NOT want to do it again, but it was a gnarly time. Too many flaws to be perfect, but waaaaay above average. Elden Ring is a real bitch, but loveable once you get to know her.

A Minus - Class

PS: Malenia was not as bad as other players made her out to be. Don't believe the hype. Maliketh, on the other hand, was a real motherfucker lol!

[doycema]

Blue Amity

"What are you doing in this school?!"

"You don't have any magic! So how come you've passed the examination?!"

"Maybe she bribed the Dean!"

"Ugh! Cheater!"

"Hey, remember she's just a daughter of a poor baron. Definitely she don't have any money to bribe the Dean."

"Yeah right HAHAHAHAHA."

"Still a cheater!"

"You don't deserve to be here!"

"You don't belong here!"

"Just leave!"

Nothing new. Always the same people and always the same lines. Would they be happy if I didn't set foot here in the first place? Almost everyone in this university thinks I'm a cheater. Nevertheless, it didn't stop me to always do my best to prove that I'm really worthy to be in this university and that I worked hard just to enter here. But they always see what I lack off, and that is magic.

The school I entered is a university that can be found on the center of the deepest forest in our town, where it is unreachable of any light from the sun. The only thing that lights up this place is through the luminescence of the moon. Unlike the usual magic universities you know that has a very lively, bright, and sparkly appearance and allure on it, this university is totally the opposite of it. The moment you stand in front of its enormous and slightly rusty gate, you will already feel the dark and gloomy aura enveloping the place. Once you enter, you will first noticed the Gargoyles and Greek-like sculptures that are evidently old and has a dusky-like appearance surrounding the foggy school grounds. You will also noticed that all the walls, pillars, and doors are all covered with coffee, black, and gray paints. The doors and windows are all tremendously tall and large that it could actually fit two average-height people stack-up together. In short, this university is massively huge and quite eerie for anyone's liking.

But despite of its not-so-alluring atmosphere, still it is one of the very well known universities in our town, the Nexus Academy of Magic. The only way to enter this university is for you to pass the examination and also for you to have the most important thing, magic. Even though the improvement of the students' magic abilities and skills are the main goals and priorities in this university, having a wealthy background or coming from a well known family are one of the perks a student can use to make his/her university life much easier. Social equality aren't much prioritized here for they only care for the improvement of the students' magic abilities and its benefits and contributions to our growing society of magic. The professors and staffs only favors students that has wealthy and high social class backgrounds, and also the students that has good and excellent magic abilities. So as for me that is only a daughter of a poor baron and someone who doesn't have magic, I always have a hard time getting access on the university's facilities and also of the recognition of my professors. Even though I top first on our class and even in the whole university, still the recognition and appreciation I was expecting didn't see the light of day.

Due to this situation I'm in, I always experience being bullied and receiving a lot of hate and criticisms. Be it my classmates or schoolmates, almost everyone in this university has cause me affliction and agony in some way.

Speaking of bullies, there comes Ionia Aux Amspoker walking down the dusky hallway along with her three "minions", looking dashing on her fitted sexy black collared-dress matched with a pair of black high knee boots. She is a daughter of a count so it's not bewildering that she's one of the favored students of almost every professors of this university. She also have the face, the wealth, and the magic ability that could capture anyone's attention that therefore results for her to gain the title of "The Nexus Sorceress".

Tsk! Here she comes.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the magic less Aven Mintz.", Ionia mockingly said.

"Yeah! Pathetic, right? HAHAHAHAHA.", commented by one of her minions. While the others laugh at me insultingly.

"Ms. Ionia, why don't you slap her so she could finally wake up and realize that she doesn't belong here no matter how hard she tries HAHAHAHAHAHA.", suggested by her other minion which I think named Aisha.

"Shut up! All of you! I don't need any of your opinions coming from your filthy mouths! Speak and you'll all turn to ashes! Understood?!", Ionia angrily spewed on her minions.

One thing that is really a red flag on her is that she's so hot-headed, an abuser and also an airhead. Tss. That's what you call pathetic and not me. So as expected, her minions did shut their mouths afraid of becoming an ash all their life.

"Good. Now, where are we? Oh, yeah! You.", she pointed at me.

"I have an idea. Why don't we do something fun? Maybe a game or something HAHAHAHAHA." Ionia's laugh really creeps me out. Brr! It sounds so evil and quite disturbing, or maybe it's just me?

"Wait! On second thought, Aisha's idea is not that bad. We could actually do it now. We're just going to level it up a little. What do you think, huh? A-ven?". She put emphasis on my name and said it in a much more threatening way that made me a little worried for my safety.

"Hold her up!", she commanded on her minions. They quickly surrounded me. I didn't have the time to react so they caught me before I could even run. Two of them tightly held both of my arms on both sides, while the other one positioned behind me and locked me from behind by circling her arms around my shoulders. They really did a good job on trapping me. Tsk! How am I supposed to get out of this mess?

"Hey, Aven. Look.", said by Ionia. I saw her both palms scorching with hot flames while looking at me with a sinister smile on her face. My eyes widened and sweat begins to drip down my face when I realized what she's planning to do. I quickly roamed my eyes around the hallway searching for anyone to help me. But no one dared to even step a single foot to stop Ionia from harming me.

I painfully smiled from the thought that I was really alone and no one ever understood and cared for my well-being in this university. Ever since I stepped foot here, my life became a living hell. Sure! I'm just a daughter of a poor baron that was born with no magic. So what?! I'm here in this university because I'm still hoping that somehow I would still get my magic. That maybe I'm just a late comer that's why until now my magic still doesn't appear. Why do I have to experience this every single day? I had enough. If only someone out there could lend me a hand. Just one person is enough. Just one.

"Here's your makeover, Aven! HAHAHAHAHA!!". I closed my eyes and prepared for the pain I'll experience from Ionia's hands. I waited for Ionia's heated palms touch my cheek but nothing came. I slowly opened my eyes and there I saw a girl facing her back towards me. I got teary-eyed from the thought that someone did save me from the agony I will soon faced. The girl's fingers are wrapped tightly around Ionia's arm forcefully stopping her from what she's about to do. Shocked and disbelief was evident on Ionia's face, and it took a while before she was able to retrieve her arm from the girl's grasp.

She pointed at the girl and angrily said, "Who do you think you are to stop me?! Do you even know who you're facing at, huh?!". The girl didn't gave attention on to what Ionia has to say and turn her back on her. She walked towards me and I just realized that the "minions" who's holding me earlier are all laying unconscious on the wooden floor. She offers her right hand to help me get up from the cold floor I didn't notice I was sitting onto. I gladly accepts her hand and stood up.

"Arghh!! You'll pay for this witch! And you, Aven! We're not done yet!", Ionia frustratingly screamed. She walked passed by in front of us and gave us a death glare before leaving with her minions. After the drama between me and Ionia has finally come to an end, all the students that have witnessed the incident gradually flee and went on their afternoon classes. I bet this will be a talk in the whole university tomorrow, again. Ugh!

"Are you okay?", the girl asked me. I was a bit startled by her voice as I haven't much recovered from the dispute between me and Ionia a while ago. She probably noticed my worried face so she just smiled at me and said, "Hi! I'm Amethyst Campbell. Pleasure to meet you!"

I didn't reply back and just stared at her face. She has an innocent beauty and a kind look on her face. Her smile looks so soothing that it actually calmed me down a little. Maybe I could trust her? She helped me escaped from Ionia, but what if she's like the other students?

"Hey! Hey! Can you hear me?". I was once again drove out of my thoughts with Amethyst's loud and chirpy voice.

"Huh?", I mindlessly asked.

"I'm asking for your name?", she questioningly asked.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something. I'm Aven Mintz. A pleasure to meet you", I introduced with a smile.

"Oh, Aven! Nice name! Based from what I know, Aven came from the Irish origin which means sorrow, but it can also mean pleasant and beautiful. Am I right?".

"Yes, you're right. How did you know?", I amazingly asked.

"I just know it HAHAHA.", she laughed. "Oh, wait! Before I forgot, I want to ask a favor from you. Would you please tour me around the university to familiarize myself with the places around here?", Amethyst requested.

"Sure. No problem. We can actually start now.", I suggested.

"Yes! Thank you so much, Aven!", she thankfully said.

After that incident, an unexpected friendship grew between Amethyst and I. We became the best of friends. We eat together, study together; we almost do things with the both of us having and supporting each other.

Ever since then, my university life came a lot better. No one dared to abuse and harm me in any way, be it verbally or physically. My professors began to approached and acknowledged my achievements. The university's staffs also began to pay respect on me, and even cleans my locker for me. These all happened ever since I met Amethyst. She changed my life and also my perspective towards privileged people, that somehow there are still some people out there that are genuinely kind and honest.

It's already 12 o' clock in the afternoon when Amethyst asked me to go with her in the practice room of our university. She said she's going to practice her magic ability. She want me to be there so I could guide her since based on her, I'm the most intelligent student in the university. HAHAHA, what a joker! I then agreed on her offer and we went straight to the practice room.

When we entered the practice room, you would first noticed the mirrors pasted on the walls. It is similar to a dance room but more wider. The ceiling is also highly elevated, which is purposely constructed by the university so that students with air and wind magic could adapt and practice their magic abilities more effectively.

As we entered, Amethyst quickly released her magic and made tons of rock-like structures on the floor. While she practices, I sat on the side and watched her. Mindlessly, my thoughts began to wonder around. There, I imagined myself having a magic of crystallization. Of all the magic I knew, the crystallization magic is what I think best suits me. If only I have magic...

My thoughts were cut off when I felt something growing on my palms. I looked at my palms and noticed that it's releasing crystal-like spikes on it. I was terrified from what I saw that I didn't notice that I released it. The spikes bounced on every corner of the room until it reached towards where Amethyst is standing. I tried to shout to warn her but my head began to spin and felt myself slumping on the floor, enveloping by the dark abyss afterwards.

I woke up finding myself laying on a bed. I look to the window on my right and noticed that it's already dark outside. I look around the room and realized that I was in the infirmary of the university. Four wide black walls surrounded me with only one window on my side, and a side table beside me with a flower vase sitting on top of it. The only thing that gives light inside the room are the torches placed on the walls and the rays of light passing through the window panes.

I tried to stand up but failed due to the sudden pain and dizziness I felt pang on my head. I decided to just lay on the bed when suddenly someone knock on the door followed by a familiar voice.

"Aven? May I come in?". Amethyst is here!

"Yes, yes. Come in.", I tiredly said.

"Oh, my! Are you okay?", Amethyst worriedly asked. She rapidly pave her way towards me and held my hand.

"I'm fine, Amethyst. Don't worry." I smiled to reassure her that I'm really okay.

"Can you walk? Let's get you in our dormitory. It's much brighter there, unlike this place. You're held like a prisoner here.", she worriedly and annoyingly said.

"Fine, fine. So you could stop your whining. Help me get up." She helped me stand and we pave our way to my dormitory. While we walked, I asked her, "Amethyst, do you remember what happened before I lost my consciousness?".

"Ahm.. I was practicing building rock golems when I saw you laying on the ground unconscious." It made me even more confused from what she stated. Based from what I remember, I was able to create crystal-like spikes on my palms, then I accidentally release it towards Amethyst's direction. But she looks fine to me right now. Maybe... it was just an illusion?

•••

Weeks have passed and I noticed something weird on my classmates and schoolmates. They always looked at me like I'm a ghost or I'm with a ghost. Some are running away whenever they see me, while others looked at me with worry plastered on their faces. Somehow, Amethyst isn't bothered with how our schoolmates looked at us. She always has a smile on her face and even greets people she meets. By that, it helped me not to be bothered on my surroundings and how the students in the university treats us. I just shove it off of my shoulders like nothing happened and this is all thanks to Amethyst, again.

•••

It's already 10 o' clock in the evening when I decided to take a rest. I laid on my bed in our dormitory and pulled up my blanket up to my chin. I closed my eyes and let the darkness consume me.

I'm in the practice room of our university with Amethyst. She's practicing her magic, while I sat around the corner watching her. To entertain myself, I imagined I have the magic of crystallization. When suddenly, I felt something growing on my palms. I looked at my palms and noticed that it's releasing crystal-like spikes on it. I was terrified from what I saw that I accidentally released the spikes. The spikes bounced across the room until it reached Amethyst's direction. I tried to shout to warn her but it was too late. She was directly stabbed by the spikes on her chest. Blood starts coming out of her mouth and blood stains turned her beautiful lavender dress to a crimson red hue. She knelt and smiled at me for the last time.

"Thank you, Aven. Sayonara." ("Goodbye")

I suddenly woke up and noticed tears dripping down my face. Impossible. My dream... It's not true, right? I killed her. I killed Amethyst. But I'm just with her yesterday. How's that possible? No, it can't be. No, no, no. NO!! I didn't kill her. I.. I totally didn't. But... I did. I saw it. I was the one. I... really... did... killed her. I killed my best friend.

"NO!!"

Ionia's POV

I'm sitting with my "minions" on a special table that is only reserved for me, which is placed right in the corner of the university's cafeteria. Remember, I'm "The Nexus Sorceress" so I'm getting a special treatment, which I think I truly deserves. The cafeteria isn't that wide for me. Actually, my bedroom is more wider than this place, ugh! The university need to change their old wooden floors and instead replace it with tiled floors. The creeks of the floor scares me. I might get a scar if ever it breaks in no time. Ugh! Definitely, I do not want that to happen. They also need to renovate their windows and make it even more wider to make this place more cooler. It's too hot in here, ugh! I should have entered on a better university than risk my beauty burned here. I don't know why my idiot father made his one and only beautiful daughter enter a university this vile and ugly. Ugh!!

While I sip my favorite tropical drink, I noticed that I haven't seen Aven around the university since morning. This is the first time she skipped her morning classes and also the first time that she's absent, if ever she will not attend her afternoon classes. That girl is a nerd and she never missed any of her classes. Weird.

Hmp! Never mind. Maybe she realized that she don't belong here and left on her own accord. HAHAHAHAHA! You chose the right decision, Aven. Good decision. I then smiled with that thought and continued to sip on my drink.

Aven's POV

I went where Amethyst was said to be buried, the Nexus Cemetery. As I entered, I slowly breathe to ready myself from what I'm about to see. I walk and roam my eyes around the cemetery until I saw I name that is familiar to me. I walk towards a grave and there I saw her.

R. I. P

In memory of

Amethyst Campbell

Oct. 7, 3120 - Jan. 29, 3137

I look at her grave and tears started to fall on my face. I still can't accept the fact that my one and only genuine best friend is now gone, and that she died on my hands.

"So-rry, so-rry. I'm so-rry... I'm so so-rry, Amethyst. I-It's my fault you're down there. I'm rea-lly so-rry. I-I hope you would for-give me for what I-I did. I-I should have been the one dead and not you. It should've been me! Me! ME!".

I knelt down and poured all of my regrets, self-blame, and longing on her grave. I cried so hard that it became harder for me to breathe and to even speak. I cried and screamed all of my agony and pain until I didn't I realized I fell asleep.

I woke up feeling my eye bags heavy and felt my voice became hoarse from all the crying I did. I stood up from the earthy grass I didn't know I laid onto, and once again look at Amethyst's grave. I felt my eyes water and I felt crying again. But I evitable my tears from falling because I know that Amethyst doesn't want me to see looking like this. Before leaving, I smiled at her grave for the last time then bid my good bye.

"Goodbye, Amethyst. I know you don't want me seeing miserable so I will try my best to move on and accept the fact that you're really gone. I just hope that to our next life, the same accident wouldn't happen again and that we will be always together for eternity. But for now, I guess it's only me from now on. So long, Amethyst. Sayonara (Goodbye)."

[bbcmerlinvault]

[Article] "King of the castle"

by Michelle Griffin for The Sydney Morning Herald website on 21st May 2011 at 3:00 am. The majority of the article covers travel to Pierrefonds while the filming wasn't about, but there is a decent mention of the show so I've decided to pop it in the vault. It's also worth noting that due to this article now being over a decade old, the pricing listed at the end is out of date (at time of posting this, the Chateau de Pierrefonds website lists entry now at €9 rather than €7 and a concessions price doesn't appear to exist any more).

[Original source] (paywalled)

King of the castle

5–7 minutes

The towers of Chateau de Pierrefonds.Credit: AFP

Michelle Griffin joins a legion of Camelot fans beneath the fairytale towers of Chateau de Pierrefonds.

Many castles lay claim to being the original Camelot. The latest home of King Arthur's magical kingdom lies about 90 minutes north-east of Paris, in a glorious stone folly called Chateau de Pierrefonds.

For three months of the year, this imposing grey-stone pile is the location of the BBC series Merlin, which revamps the Arthurian legends as an awkward friendship between arrogant Prince Arthur and his teenage manservant, Merlin, who must keep his magical talents a secret. If, like the program, this castle is not exactly faithful to its mediaeval origins, it hardly matters to the fans who watch the camera crews re-enact battles, jousts and feasts for the fourth series.

They're not filming when my family and I decide to make a pilgrimage to the site of one of our favourite shows. But even without the catering vans blocking the archways and production teams roping off the staterooms, this mad 19th-century vision of the ideal mediaeval castle turns out to be a terrific day trip from the French capital.

"It truly is like the seventh or eighth character on the cast list," actor Anthony Head, who plays cruel King Uther, told website Monsters and Critics. "The stones still look new even though it's a few hundred years old ... It's not like a castle that's got bits missing and chunks taken out of it."

Looming above a tiny village in the Oise district, this restored mediaeval stronghold was one of France's favourite romantic ruins long before Napoleon III started rebuilding it in 1857. Cardinal Richelieu ordered its demolition in 1617, after the nobles within backed the wrong duke.

It's the remaining 14th-century twin towers that take our breath away as we walk up the steep hill to the entrance - especially "Charlemagne's tower", a round donjon with a peaked roof that local wisdom says is the inspiration for Walt Disney's Sleeping Beauty.

There has been a castle on this site since the 12th century. It's a strategic location, because invading armies have always marched down the Oise Valley. Julius Caesar fought the Gauls in this region. Joan of Arc fought the English in the surrounding forests and prayed unsuccessfully for victory in the church at nearby Compiegne. On the outskirts of Compiegne, a memorial stands on the abandoned rail line where the armistice was signed on November 11, 1918. In 1940, Hitler made the French sign on his terms in the same rail carriage, which was then destroyed in Berlin.

Eugene Viollet-le-Duc, the architect appointed by Napoleon III in 1857 to restore Pierrefonds, did far more than rebuild the ruined towers and the outer walls. Like the cathedral of Notre Dame, this castle was re-created as a 19th-century dream of the Middle Ages - a riot of gargoyles and arches and long, airy galleries with camera-ready sight lines. Steel girders prop soaring roofs, and walls are painted in intertwined stencils. Viollet-le-Duc died before the job was done and the money ran out when Napoleon III was deposed in 1870 but Pierrefonds still feels ready for its next royal.

A few huts - remnants of Merlin's lower village locations - line the walkway to the moat. The jousts are filmed on a green sward overlooking the valley. Through the enormous arched gateway, with its satisfyingly fierce portcullis, we discover a central courtyard that reminds us not only of the TV series but every Arthurian book illustration. A wide, sun-bleached staircase is fronted by a bronze knight and guarded by snarling griffins. Downspouts have been carved into lizards. A long walkway is decorated with earnest stone knights and demented gargoyles - screaming monkeys, vomiting dragons and a loony five-breasted monster, its jaw unhinged to poke out its curling tongue. This is where Uther and Arthur walk and talk about how best to repel the series' latest invasions. The draughty stateroom on the first floor of the main building hosts art exhibitions but is also the TV location for countless courtly confrontations before the throne.

Climbing the stairs to half-decorated chambers and echoing arched corridors is tremendous fun for anyone who ever read childhood novels about being transported back in time - it speaks as much of Rapunzel or Narnia as Camelot. Every time we lean out a window, flocks of pigeons take off in loops above the castle roofs. Our one regret is that we cannot climb to the very top and peer out between the Lego blocks of the battlements.

FAST FACTS

Getting there

Emirates has a fare to Paris for about $2070 low-season return from Melbourne and Sydney, including tax. You fly to Dubai (14hr), then Paris (7hr 30min).

To get to Chateau de Pierrefonds from Paris by car take the A1 motorway, or go by train to Compiegne, followed by a 20-minute, €20 ($26.60) taxi ride to Pierrefonds; voyages-sncf.com. A bus runs to Pierrefonds from Compiegne twice a day; oise-mobilite.fr.

Visiting there

Chateau de Pierrefonds is open daily from 9.30am to 6pm until September 4 and from 10am-1pm and 2-5.30pm Tuesday to Sunday from September 5 to April 30. Entry is €7, concession €4.50, under 18 free; pierrefonds.monuments-nationaux.fr/en.

[harfanfare]

I saw this post and I was wondering if you write Malleus' too, is okay for you to make that?

How to win a heart of Malleus Draconia?

a/n: I started posting my writings here because I want to improve my English — so I technically wouldn't make this request. But! Someone on Wattpad (where I take requests) asked for the same thing, so I rolled up my sleeves and wrote this guide today in both languages. Enjoy~

1. Don't be afraid of him.

It is said that the first impression is the most important.

So when you first saw this guy walking through the corridor of Diasomnia, it was hard for you to get rid of that view from your head.

Illuminated both by the green magic flames set in the lobby, as well as by the moon, which eventually managed to break through the dark clouds and with a bright glow appear in the windows of the dormitory, he seemed... lonely and beautiful.

You shuddered as you took a step down the hallway and the dark-haired man turned to you. He measured you with his emerald eyes. And then you recognized him; all the conversations about the mysterious and fearsome Malleus Draconia flew through your head.

Everything told you to rush towards the hallway and run as far as possible, but a piece of you found it inappropriate. Or rather, no one would want to chase everyone away from themself... right?

When you realized you were looking at him for a while, you took a deep breath and nod slightly.

"Good evening, Draconia-san," you said quickly. After a while you added, "The moon is beautiful today, don't you think?”

 2. Smile a lot.

Today was a really wonderful day: the test was postponed, your favorite dish was given in the canteen, and for some reason, the last two lessons were canceled – your class had to make just a quick note about a topic and it took less than fifteen minutes.

"Something happened?" Malleus asked, seeing how almost in the jumps you walk past him. When you looked at him, he added, "You smile a lot.”

"I can stop smiling if you want," you made a sad face, but after a while, the corners of your mouth began to tremble uncontrollably and twisted up again. "Oops, I can’t. Today... it was such a good day... that I think I'm slowly using my life's happiness.”

"I didn't say that smiling is bad," he said. "You look so much better when you smile.”

"Oh," you sighed with apparent surprise. "Is it a compliment?"

"It’s rather a fact..?"

 3. From time to time visit him during club activities.

"Is this a class of the ‘Gargoyle research society club’?” with a deaf knock you opened the door. Malleus turned to you, making a break from browsing through the materials gathered in the library about the history of each of the gargoyles on the school grounds. And there were a lot of them.

"Yes," he replied briefly, getting up. "Do you need something, [Name]?"

"Not at all, my club don’t have a meeting today," you said, closing the door behind you.

You looked around: the room was as clean as ever, except for one desk, where were laid several huge volumes about statues in NRC.

“Are you here alone?” You said before you thought. You lowered your eyes to see Malleus nodding unconcerned slightly. You blinked several times trying to think of what else you could say. "This room... could be a secret base," that was the first thing that came to your mind. Malleus turned his head to one side, uncertain of your response.

“A secret base..? Why?”

"I have no idea," you admitted quickly. "But the very existence of a mysterious point is interesting, isn't it? Doing normal things, such as watching movies or just talking, seems more interesting in places like this,” After a moment of silence, you sighed. "You know what, this idea with the base is stupid”

"We can try," he replied with serious tone. You raised your eyes to see how he looked around the room. "But you'll just have to explain this idea to me in more detail. We can also tell Lilia, Silver and Sebek about it...” he smiled as if seeing your five together in his thoughts was a pleasure. "It will be surely... fun.”

 4. Get yourself a Tamagotchi.

"Look!" you spin a new key chain on your finger. You finally stopped and showed it to Malleus. "Now they are matching!”

A small electronic toy, in a dark green screen that, when it flashed, showed a virtual, pixelated animal. You were impressed with how good quality it was made, especially since you only gave the Shroud brothers a sketch of a toy that Malleus owned.

Your keychain was exactly the same, just a different color and with another pet.

Malleus pulled out his own device and put it on the table. He pressed one of the buttons and a small pet appeared on the keychain – a dragon.

"They can now be friends," you brought your toy closer to so-called Gao-Gao Dragon-kun.

"Do you think so?" He asked in a very surprised tone, but it sounded as if in a moment he were about to burst out with an inexplicably joyful and surprised laugh.

"Of course. Everyone needs a decent friend, no?”

 5. Gain the trust of Lilia, Silver and Sebek.

Lilia, one of Malleus' closest people. It is much more likely that you will meet him before Malleus. He will be very proud when he learns that Malleus has found a friend. If you become a taster of Lilia, in terms of his pastries, he will 100% like you, and at 20% you will leave the kitchen alive and well.

Silver, who has mastered the art of sleeping in any conditions. It's easy to get him into your plans, although with the craziest ones he will hesitate. Rather well-disposed towards everyone, he can cover for you when you are not in class— but he usually inadvertently falls asleep and both of you often have penal assignments after school.

Sebek, faithful to Malleus, if he doesn't like you, you won't have too many opportunities to stay by Malleus's side without a thunderous glances at you. He will recognize you if you will listen carefully to his monologues about his master and as a sign of your friendship, he will teach you by heart of all the titles and achievements of Malleus so far.

With this trio by your side, you can get a lot further than you might have imagined...

 6. Be a master in hide and seek.

You’d give your right arm that your breath was too loud.

You pressed your hands to your mouth as you crouched in the corner of the room.

From whose voices you already heard, you knew that Lilia had already found Sebek. This meant that you or Silver would still be helping cook dinner since Malleus didn’t come at the start of the game.

This may seem silly, but the ability to play classic games was one of the elements of the art of survival in Diasomnia.

It was thanks to games like ‘stone-paper-scissors’, hide and seek or tag that household chores fell on the shoulders of the losers. Lilia loved the idea, and there was always a proud smile on his lips when he saw his beloved children play together.

You heard the steps behind you and shivered.

Very slowly you turned around and looked up to see Malleus standing over you and wondering what you were doing, crouching in the darkest corner of the room.

Puns were also included in the survival pack.

Fearing that Lilia would hear your whisper, you put your finger on your mouth, asking him not to say a word. You put a begging eye into it – all but not cooking with Lilia. Not again.

Malleus nodded, recognizing the gravity of the situation, although he smiled.

Really, no one would want Malleus to be an enemy.

Or at least in such a situation.

 7. Do not hesitate to ask him for help with learning.

"In theory, you should focus on the space around you," Malleus pulled a wand in front of him. It flashed, and almost at the same time, a thin but incredibly strong protective barrier was created around him. “Weaker spells can be reflected. In turn, the stronger ones are better to block”

You nodded understandingly.

Defensive magic was not something easy to understand. Most depended on the person against whom the counter spell was being prepared. And there are countless people who walk on this Earth and want to start fights.

"Unique spells block or avoid physically," he continued. You nodded at every subsequent sentence, slowly feeling like all the lessons are eventually gaining transparency. “Using unique magic against unique magic, the stronger will win, both will lead to explosions or completely reduce.

He looked at you when you wrote down the last sentence in your notebook.

"I sincerely hope that you will only need this information in class," he said with a sigh. "If you need help, call me. I will come. I promise.”

 8. Sometimes be persuaded to wear extravagant clothes.

"Do you really think it suits me?" you turned around, looking at yourself from every possible angle in the mirror.

You were going to the theater in a few classes to see some era-related play that you've been discussing now in history lessons. Everyone, respecting the reputation, actions and achievements of theatre, dressed in their best clothes.

Malleus stood next to you.

He was already wearing a black and white outfit with green accessories. They all worked so well together and fitted him like a glove that you were sure that the whole outfit was made especially for him.

"Yes," he replied. "Everything you put on today suited you very well.”

Once again, with critical eyesight, you looked at the outfit, face and hair, before you quickly turned off the lights in the room and closed the door behind you.

Then you smiled at Malleus.

"We can go now," you said. You made your way through the portal to the main NRC building. "And... thank you for your help.

"My pleasure," he said. Under no circumstances was it just a polite formula. He really loved looking at you.

 9. Invite him to your birthday/party.

"Another break from school soon, huh?" — you muttered, leaning against the railing.

You took a deep breath and let the fresh, pleasant air refresh you.

"Are you going to home, [Name]?" Malleus asked. Green lights were still flying around him, so you guessed he’d just appeared here.

"I haven't decided yet," you sighed. "It would be nice to go home, but the break won't be very long... Ah, that's right!” you straightened up and turned to him. "How about spending another break together? As soon as I can, I will contact my family... although I cannot promise anything.”

Though he did not show it, Malleus' heart beat a little faster.

Spend free time? With someone? With someone he likes?

"Of course," he sounded less calm than he thought. He wasn’t often invited anywhere, even for the things he should have been on, so there was a lot of excitement growing in his body. "I don't see anything against it.”

 10. From "The Great Malleus Draconia-sama" to "Love".

"Ah, The Great Malleus-sama!" you sighed theatrically, taking from him a box of chocolates with a joyful smile. You could promise that because of this dark-haired boy here, you slowly become pampered. "Thank you for your generosity!”

Malleus frowned.

"The Great Malleus-sama"..?” he pondered, putting his fingers to his chin. "Did Sebek told you again to call me with this title?"

"No," you laughed softly at his reaction. "I did it out of curiosity. Maybe I could call you some cute nickname, hmm?" you smiled mischievously.

"For example?"

"By adding ‘-chan’ to your name?” you turned on your phone and typed something related to the nicknames. You started reading suggestions and struggled to hold back from laughing. ” ’Sunshine’, ‘star’, ‘flower’, ‘sweetheart’, ‘love’...

"I like the last one," he said, and the invisible force stung you to the ground.

"Would you like me to call you like that? Out of curiosity or out of love?" You laughed, but your cheeks were all red with blushes.

He smiled sincerely at your reaction.

"Hmm, I wonder..?"

[twisted-crumpets]

The soft Vil and kissing headcanons I'm- 😭😭😭😭😭 Could I have headcanons for NRC having a ball and MC just walks up to Riddle, Azul, Vil, Idia and Malleus (seperately ofc) being like "I've decided that you're gonna be my date for the ball 😊". I know I picked like, the 5 worst characters for this, imagine the audacity and guts you gotta have to pull that on Vil and Malleus 😂

Pff MC strolling up with guts of steel

I- Imagine like slamming down a corsage or smth and being like “you, me dance a lil, get to know each other, maybe smooch idk” to Vil 😂😂

Also, thank you very much for liking my Vil headcanons, it made me smile.

━━ Riddle Rosehearts ━━

To say that Riddle wasn’t stressed out of his mind would be a complete and utter lie.

After spending a good chunk of his time dedicated to scolding Ace and chasing Floyd the poor crimson leader was staring at his watch, panicking as the seconds tick by.

Hearing soft footsteps, he whipped his head ready to berate whoever was dawdling in the dorms and not laying out the table for the upcoming unbirthday party, but froze upon the sight of his darling.

“Oh! Love, I’m sorry you have caught me at a bit of a bad time. What is the reason for your visit?”

He was not at all prepared for his darling to demand his presence at the school ball and couldn’t help but splutter as his face slowly began to turn into a shade that could rival his hair.

“I- you... do you have any sense of decorum or poise?”

Ignoring the blush smeared across his cheeks, Riddle began to criticise the “invitation” and how it did not comply with the rules of the queen of hearts.

However, he soon quietened down when his love teasingly asked if that meant he was rejecting them, reducing the strict dorm leader into a flustered mess.

“That most certainly was not a no!... I just, I believed that we were automatically going to arrive together... I didn’t expect to be asked so abruptly.... I... let me try this again.”

Clearing his throat, Riddle knelt onto the ground, surprising the dorm members who were slowly filing into the room, sweetly holding onto his dearest’s hand.

“Darling, it would be the upmost honour of the highest degree to accompany you to the ball.”

Laying a kiss onto the back of their hand, he couldn’t hide the smirk beginning to grow onto his face as he amusedly watched their face grow as brightly as his own.

━━ Azul Ashengrotto ━━

Due to the rise in contracts during the exam season, Azul’s paperwork began to increase as well and the poor octopus could already feel every part of his back creak in protest everytime he leant down.

Opening the heavy door to his study, his darling was not surprised that he barely even looked their way before pressing his nose against his documents, scanning their contents tiredly.

Attempting to gain his focus, his darling decided to demand that he join them at the ball.

His response was lacklustre at best, not even taking his eyes off his his work to reply.

“Hm? Ah yes, of course my treasure.”

Suddenly, his quill paused in its journey across his contracts and he froze, dropping it against the pristine desk.

At first, his response was “hmmm? Ah yes of course, my treasure.”

That was until, the demand finally processed in his mind, then he just stood wide eyed and froze, dropping his quill.

He gasped at his darling, his azure eyes getting increasingly smaller in shock.

After a few minutes, his darling was finally able to call his name through their giggles, and he snapped back to life.

“Oh my angelfish~ what a tempting command. But, I can only make wishes come true if they are a request.”

Smiling coyly, he observed his darling floundering for the proper words to ask him.

Crooking a gloved finger, he beckoned them closer, mischief practically glowing in his eyes, and gently pulled them into a slow kiss.

“That is a deal I could simply not turn down. Alright, I will gladly join you, my pearl.”

━━ Vil Shoenheit ━━

As a deep lover of all things intricate and organised, this was nothing short of messy.

Fabrics ranging in colour, texture and pattern covered every inch of his room, and Vil was extremely critical of which would be worthy to be used to decorate the dorm room.

He revelled the peaceful silence that lingered in the room, which demanded complete and utter focus, until his darling came barrelling into the room.

“Ah! Fairest no! You could’ve sullied the fabrics... whatever possessed you to come stumbling in like an elephant better be of high importance.”

Returning to his work, he did not expect shaky warm hands to cup his face, and he slowly moved his gaze to their face, observing the rosey flush due to their exercise prior.

In a shocked trance, Vil watched as his darling bolted from the room, after loudly proclaiming that he was coming with her to the ball.

Snapping his manicured fingers, his poor love was dragged like a sack of potatoes over the shoulder of his loyal huntsman, who overheard the events that unfolded with a wide grin.

“My dear, whilst your confession was executed rather... uniquely, I believe I must be the one to give an answer on whether or not I shall attend with you.”

With a cat-like smile, he basked in the nervous gaze of his darling which bounced around the room, whilst he pretended to find his nails exceedingly interesting, before finally accepting with sophisticated air.

Striding up to his darling briskly to tenderly cradle their face, peppering sweet kisses and giggling at the look of bewilderment and shock that graced their face.

━━ Idia Shroud ━━

Finding Idia furiously slamming his fingers into his keyboard, fully enamoured with the happenings on his computer, was not new.

Observing his hunched and focused figure, his darling decided that it was due time for him to take a break and attempted to tear his eyes away from the harsh glare of the screen.

“Oh pixel, I promise I will stop right after this round don’t worry.”

Unfortunately, he couldn’t even press a single key when he heard his lover announce that he would be attended the ball alongside them.

Turning a blind eye to the blatant ‘game over’ on his monitor, Idia’s hair began to burn a vibrant assortment of deep reds and he muttered incomprehensible half sentences, his current state akin to a phone after being dropped into a pool.

“You... me... public... together... d..dancing..”

Like a mouse, he burrowed his way inside the cozy depths of his hoodie, squeaking out his agreement, before flinging his arms around their middle and smooshing his face into their stomach in an attempt to distract them from his vermillion hair and face.

“.. I would love that very much thank you.”

 ━━ Malleus Draconia ━━

For Malleus, midnight strolls are the highlight of his day.

From exploring the picturesque ruins of castles he might’ve known once upon a time, to marvelling at the loyal gargoyles that remain standing guard at the entrance, that frequently remind him of the two guards of his back at his dorm.

Although, he couldn’t deny that, the main reason for his enjoyment in his nightly activities was when doing so with his truest love.

On this day, instead of the usual lighthearted air between them, a nervous yet determined one replaced it, filling the horned boy with curiousity, which grew as he gazed deeply into the eyes of his love, who appeared to be summoning every ounce of courage to look back into his.

“Truest, what is ailing you?”

Nothing could quite prepare him for the explosive torrent of words that spilled from their lips that took his brain a whole series of seconds to decipher.

When it finally clicked that he had received that invitation, no one could’ve possibly smiled brighter or laughed merrier than he, as he whisked his beloved into his arms, pressing his lips against theirs passionately.

Pulling away, his chest rumbling with laughter, he cheekily beamed at the dumbfounded expression that graced his love’s features.

“My my, inviting me so suddenly, and with such a demanding tone too. Why this is an interesting declaration, and I would be a fool to not accept. Very well my truest, I accept. You best do well to not be late, I am looking forward to this.”

I’m so sorry this took so long, school said no❤️

I hope you enjoyed your meal!

[daffenger]

iwtv chapter 5 thoughts like WAH !!!

Louis' nursing on Rashid at the beginning of the episode, Rashid talking for Louis, Rashid & Daniel's weird blood taste stand-off ! WAH !

Daniel basically being here to chronicle Louis' last words (acc. to Rashid) ! WAH !!!

Claudia, wahhh :,0 she's just so so so good. i was pleasantly surprised that they didn't have her just go the mad vampire route. she was for a bit (& i supported her!), & then getting out of the stifling hotbed of resentment of rue royale & exploring the world allowed her to grow up & clear her mind (not talking about *that* bruce/killer scene to be clear).

i think one of the reasons people do the iwtv/hannibal comparison is that they have the same kind of absolutely grim, hilarious humour at times. like drunk claudia having to get rid of the evidence even as the police is going through the house, and her little no no noes as she picks up the thumb in her jewellery box, the toe on her bedside table, suddenly remembers the *peeled off breast* in her drawer? and then the entire, still-breathing man in her closet !!!!?

though i had spoilers blacklisted a few text posts got through, mostly critic about critic of the episode so i had a general idea of the quote unquote unsavoury stuff, and my own grain of salt is that the fact lestat's actions don't seem un-lestaty to me (i'm leery of referring to canon-compliance as the benchmark of quality in an adaptation but book lestat does go into a dissociative state get up himself & commit atrocities, that is a thing he does). It did hurt very much to see the state of Louis. it's also interesting that daniel has been calling out the relationship as unbalanced and toxic in a way that seemed confrontational/didn't fit with louis' vision of it, and then we get to this part and like. it seems like louis wanted to tell the story as he saw it, not as informed by what happened later, and daniel could see the seeds already. which makes it look in turn as if it as louis blinding himself vs the relationship taking a sudden sour turn.

the part where louis called to claudia, telling her everything was alright and to stay where she was -- i imagine he was talking to her in her mind, trying to keep her away from danger...? the louis & claudia relation breaks my whole heart every time :,o him calling to her so loud & for so long that he draws other vampires to their territory...!

ALSO one thing i really love in the 1994 movie is when it shifts into the horror genre--when lestat comes back after they buried him in the bayou, with jumpscares & all. & in the show when he floats back down slowly in the background as claudia is crying over louis. when he stands like a gargoyle with his black black eyes. same vibes. shifting narration, shifting genres...

I've been thinking that it's a bit difficult to know what exactly Louis said in the first interview, bc the basic blocks of this version have changed so much. I don't think we're supposed to believe Louis passed himself as an 18th century plantation/slave owner, invented the character of Lestat's old father whole-cloth, or made Claudia out to be younger than she was, etc. but we must understand that he did lie about Claudia's psychology, & her leaving the house for years ? or did he talk about it without going into the details or why or how long, etc.

[ren-c-leyn]

FNF Story: Betrayer

 Another tale for @promptsforthestrugglingauthor‘s Friday Night Fights event. This week’s prompt is here, additionally, I used these 1,2,3 other prompts from their collection, this prompt by @thependragonwritersguild, this prompt by @clean-prompts, and this prompt by @corvidprompts.

Warnings: This piece is a heavy angst piece that mentions death in passing, some alcohol use, a curse, fighting, some blood, but nothing graphic or in any particularly descriptive detail.

  “I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it!” I stumbled forward, the world wobbling around me. My companion lay on the ground, breathing in shaking, labored heaves and surrounded by so, so much red. “You have to be fine, you have to!”

 But he wasn’t fine. the crimson pool grew and grew as the breathing slowed. No matter how much pressure I put on the wound, it wouldn’t stop bleeding. All the while, I heard a chorus of whispers surrounding us.

 ‘Why?’

 ‘Why did you betray us?’

 ‘What have you done?’

 ‘Why did you do it, why?!’

 ‘We thought you were our friend.’

I blinked back tears, trying not to listen, trying to stop myself from shaking as I focused on him, focused on trying to save him. Both those pale green eyes were going glassy.

 “Please don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t!” I begged, but they closed anyways.

 The whispers burst into hideous laughter and then it all went dark.

 I jerked out of bed, drenched in enough sweat that I may as well have just been caught in the rain. I clutched my own arms, breath ragged, trying to expel what I’d just seen. His hands fell on my shoulders, touch gentle and light, reminding me I was not alone.

“You’re gonna be okay. It was just a dream. I’m here,” he said.

 And I froze. My mind reeled, trying to figure out exactly when this... this creature got in here. It was hard to think with the pounding headache and blurry tears, so I just shoved him away and stumbled out of bed and downstairs.

 Bits of memory faded in and out as I wobbled closer and closer to the bottom of the staircase. Right. I was drunk. He helped me home. I was sobbing, something about the curse.... The curse.

 I stopped on the last stair before sinking down onto it. There was the obnoxious pounding of footsteps as he came down after me. He sighed.

 “You’re not ready to be up, yet,” he said gently before carefully grabbing my arm.

 “Get your hands off me!”

 “You’re sick, I’m not gonna just leave–”

 “I would sooner crawl back up these stairs on my hands and knees than lower my pride enough to ask you for help–so, again–hands. Off.”

 He let go and held his hands up.

 “I don’t understand why you won’t just let me help this once.”

 “I don’t trust you.”

 “Good. I don’t trust me, either.”

 I groaned at the sarcasm.

 “Infuriating as ever.”

 “Guilty as charged.”

 A tense silence passed between us as he stepped passed me and sat down on the rug in front of the stairs.

 “It’s only going to get worse,” he ventured after a few minutes went by. “And alcohol isn’t going to help.”

 “Don’t lecture me, I know. And...” flashes of the dream danced through my head, “I know what I need to do to fix it.”

 “Do you?” he asked.

 “To undo what has been done, I have to undo my betrayal. And I don’t need you getting in my way.”

 His expression soured.

 “Your death won’t undo it if that’s your plan.”

 “I’m not planning my own death.”

 He sat there blanked faced as I stood and slipped around him, heading to the kitchen. It must have clicked somewhere between my first glass of water and the second because I heard him screech in a way only he could.

 “You can’t do this!”

 “You can’t stop me.”

 “It’s stupid! You’ll die before you kill him! And another one will just take his place, that’s how power vacuums work!”

 I listened to him rant and rave for a few moments. Ironic that the traitor who helped the Empire take over was being advised by a traitor to said Empire now. We were always enemies, always on opposite sides, no matter who we decided to serve we were always against one another. Even now, even after he decided to pity me, we were still on the opposite side.

 Around the third glass of water, I felt alive enough to pass by him again to collect my weapons and armor. He grabbed my wrist and I ripped my arm away.

 “Touch me again and see what happens,” I growled.

 He threw his clawed hands up in the air.

 “Fine. But please take a moment to stop and think about this, think about it seriously. He’s guarded, he’s living in what is essentially a fortress, there’s magic on his side, and he’s only half mortal. Half mortal. Killing him is damn near impossible for warriors who have kept up their training and aren’t being slowly consumed by a curse.”

 “Well, it’s a good thing I’ve been using my downtime to think of smarter solutions than a duel, then, huh?”

 He shook his head, white hair fluttering about.

 “You’ve always been impossible.”

 “As have you, my old enemy,” I mumbled as I resumed walking to my little armory. ‘As have you.”

 He stopped protesting after that, just sat sulking on the bottom step of the staircase. Instead, he merely watched through silted eyes and a stony mask. Gargoyles, didn’t they have anything better to do than sit and judge?

 It took me the better part of the day to finish preparations, but I had ample time before the main event. I paused by the stairs, meeting his solemn gaze.

 “I’m not changing my mind.”

 “You rarely do. Act impulsively, yes, but change your mind after deciding to do something?” he snorted before his shoulders sagged. ‘I wished you would, though. There might still be other ways. Ways that you might, I don’t know, survive?”

 I shook my head.

 “Tried already. No. They won’t forgive me, not while my betrayal still stands.”

 “And so you rush to your death. Go then, my old enemy. I will bury you when it is over.”

 I couldn’t find any words. Not a snarky reply or even a simple thank you. Instead, I gave him a nod and started walking to the door.

 It was my last chance to make things right, my last chance to be honest. Better late than never, I supposed, but given how slow traffic was, it was looking like it might be never. I had hopped onto the farmer’s cart, thinking it’d be a faster trip. Turns out, it wasn’t. Horses and wagons filled the road to the city gates for as far as the eye could see and showed no signs of moving forward.

 A sigh escaped me as I felt another throb in my bones, another pulse of a headache. I know, Renard, give me a little more time. I’ll avenge you. What I helped them do to you. It didn’t change anything, but I felt better for the thought.

 Slowly, I forced myself out of the back of the wagon and began making my way forward, cutting passed farmers and merchants and travelers of all kinds until I was up at the front. Looked like the guards and some foreign nobles we arguing. I didn’t have time for it. Any of it.

 So, with a light push, I started a distraction. A brawl between the noble’s guards and the city guards would get ugly, no doubt, but who would notice me slipping by? No one. That’s who noticed me slipping by.

 The palace, or perhaps fortress was a better description of it, was also fairly simple. I just stood slightly behind and to the side of the first official looking person heading inside, and pretended to be their guard as we walked in together. Then, I promptly slipped away from him before he could notice we were being followed.

  The palace was at half staff, thanks to battles up north, so now was the best time to catch him. Risky and probably going to get me killed, yes, but the best time all the same.

 Finding the evil son of a lake serpent that killed Renard, that caused me to be cursed, proved to be the actual challenge. I listened around the servants, eavesdropped on the throne room, and just wandered around, searching for him. Eventually, I came across the war room and heard the unmistakable, booming voice of the Emperor. Wonderful.

 Terrible, I corrected myself as I realized that this was where most of the palace guard had been hiding. And they had spotted me.

 “Who goes there?” the woman demanded, scowling at me from beneath her spiraling horns.

 I blurted out my name. My full name. And she stood there, staring blankly at me. I smiled.

 “I come bearing critical information.”

 She opened her mouth, but the booming voice echoed out of the war room.

 “Let the spy in.”

 She looked back at the door and then back at me before making a sweeping gesture towards it. Not questioning my good fortune, I made my way inside.

 He stood tall, a hulking figure over the rest of the forms in the room. All were armed, but all made a conscious effort to keep their hands above the table. It would be a bad idea to get into a fight here, I assumed.

 How unfortunate.

 I placed myself right at his side, craning my neck upwards to look at him. He was as captivating as he had been back then. Quietly fierce and striking. His armor shined in the light of the crystals above his head, and his green eyes glowed ominously as he stared down at me.

 “It has been a long time.”

 “Indeed. Seven years to be exact.’

 “They have not done you well,” he noted.

 “But they have served me well,” I replied with a dip of my head, “and you as well.’

 “The information?”

 I grinned with a nod.

 “Yes, allow me to get the point, then. You’re true enemy is not in the north.”

 There was a collective of whispers and snorts from around the table, but I kept my eyes on him.

 “Interesting accusations. Show me your proof.”

 I gestured to the table and watched him lean over it again.

 “Look at the table, My Emperor, and see for yourself. Notice something odd about the attack patterns? How they all seem to conveniently benefit one person?”

 I didn’t know what the sea I was talking about, but it certainly seemed to get his attention as he leaned further down, inspected the placements of their colored flags with more scrutiny. I could almost reach it, now, that fabled soft spot.

 I slid a little closer to his side, making a show of gesturing to the flags.

 “If you look at where the boards of these territories, and the placement of the blockades, you’ll see that it seems to greatly benefit you’re general over there, as anyone moving through his land has to pay the fee....”

 “How dare...”

 “Silence.’

 The general shrunk down as the Emperor leaned a little closer to my direction, paying closer attention to the general’s boarders. Slowly, I raised myself onto my toes and reached for the dagger in my sleeve. He turned his head to look to me, to ask a question, and that’s when I struck.

 My dagger found that soft spot, but his hand also found my arm. I had just barely, barely broken the skin. I shook. So close. I had been so damn close....

 There was silence in the room. A thick, suffocating one as all stared at me in shock. As I stood in front of him, barely able to conceal the tremble of my legs, I wondered what made me think I was strong enough to challenge him in the first place. I guess the gargoyle had been right. I had sentenced myself to death, not freedom.

 His eyes burrowed into me, staring with that same intense glow and power that had convinced me to switch to his cause to begin with.

 “I always wondered when you’d do it,” the emperor said at last. “I always wondered when you’d turn on me, betrayer.” He twisted the dagger out of my hand and it clattered lifelessly to the floor. “It’s all you are in the end, all you’ll ever be, a betrayer. No loyalties, not even to yourself. The first opportunity to drive the knife in, you’ll probably take it.”

 “I should have taken yours sooner,” I tried to snarl, but it just sounded hollow.

 “So you could avoid your curse?” He clicked his tongue. “Wouldn’t have worked. It wasn’t Renard who cursed you. Wasn’t any of your old allies. No. You are you’re own curse. You always have been, always will be. No one hurts you more than yourself, but you only care now because there’s a physical manifestation of your corruption inconveniencing you.”

 “Killing me,” I corrected.

 “Betrayer, you’ve sentenced yourself to death, not the curse.” He swung me around by my wrist, handing me over to the guards. “Take the betrayer to the dungeons.”

 I didn’t fight them, didn’t have the strength too. And as the iron door swung closed, the words echoed around the inside of my skull.

 It’s all you are in the end, all you’ll ever be, betrayer.

~

Story taglist (ask to be added or removed.):

 @nemowritesstuff , @likelyfantasywriterspsychic,  @hannahs-creations, @writer-candy, @kaylewiswrites, @tenacious-scripturient​, @ofinkblotsandscript, @mischiefiswritten, @kespada, @silvertalonwriteblr, @inspiring-prompts, @greenwood-writes, @elkatheinkstained, @n1ghtcrwler, @writingiswilde, @say-no-to-negativity, @wordshavings

[olivish]

Here it is! Part 3 of the "Who was Alex's father?" / "Melanie becomes friends with Ben" story. (I really should make a title at some point.)

Part 1 Part 2

Quick Recap: 8 years pre-Freeze, in the leadup to launching Snowpiercer's first commercial iteration, Wilford sent Melanie to oversee track completion between Jerusalem and Tehran. While she was overseas, she fell in love with a photojournalist who was covering the refugee crisis in Lebanon.

On the day Melanie was supposed to return to Chicago, there was a massive earthquake in which he was killed and she was badly hurt. We pickup the story from Ben’s point of view:

Part 3

1. When Ben found out that Melanie was alive and expected to make a full recovery, he stopped calling. He considered visiting in the hospital, but one of his coworkers tried that and ran into Wilford, who flew into a rage. He demanded to know if his engineers really had nothing better to do than deliver teddy bears.

“She’s doing more work than you are,” he said. “Now go away!”

Day and night, Wilford guarded Melanie like a gargoyle.

“That’s his guilt,” went the chatter in the breakroom. “Guilt? About what?” “He sent her over there.” “You’re nuts. Wilford doesn’t feel bad about anything.” “And yet, he won’t leave her room.” “Here’s a thought. Maybe Melanie’s really dead, but he doesn’t want us to catch on. Figures we might try and bail before the ship goes down.” “Weekend at Bernie’s?” “She’s fine! She’s fine! Melanie says get back to work!” [chuckles] “Seriously, though. Is she okay? Should we send a card?”

2. Nobody sent a card. In five years of development, Melanie had never given anyone a card, for anything. She once told Ben, cards are a pointless waste of paper. “And the glitter,” she went on, rubbing her fingers together with a grimace. “They all have glitter.”

“They make cards without glitter.”

“Doesn’t matter. They sit next to the cards that do have glitter, and it transfers. And card shops always smell like scented candles. Have you noticed that? The miasma of rose hips and vanilla?”

“I hadn’t noticed.” Also, he wasn’t sure what a miasma was. Ben watched as Melanie went back to work. She seemed to have forgotten why they were talking about greeting cards in the first place.

“So, I’ll just sign your name to this one?” he asked.

“Okay.”

“There’s a party. With cake. And booze.” When she didn’t say anything, he offered, “You should come.”

“Oh. Well. Sure. Maybe. If I finish this work in time.”

Ben knew what that meant. Melanie hated staff parties. If the idle conversation weren’t enough to keep her away, Wilford had started bringing Audrey along as entertainment.

And there was nothing more glittery than Audrey.

3. When Melanie came back to work, her coworkers didn’t find it strange that she kept to herself. She’d always been like that, after all. People welcomed her back and asked how she was, but with Wilford always looming, there wasn’t much opportunity for conversation.

“It’s just a few broken ribs,” she said. “I’m fine.”

She didn’t look fine. It was obvious to anyone with eyes, she wasn’t revealing the half of her injuries. Most glaring of all was a crushed right hand, which Ben knew must be killing her. Not just in terms of pain, but Melanie was a notoriously tactile person.

“You can’t understand something unless you put your hands on it,” she once said. They were testing a new diagnostics program he’d written, and she was sure the readings were off. She could feel it. He disagreed, and when it turned out Melanie was right, she gave him a little lecture.

“Fingertips over sensors,” she said. “Get your hands dirty once in awhile, you’ll have better instincts.”

Ben chaffed at the criticism, but there was no arguing with someone who was always right. When it came to machines, Melanie had the magic touch.

Now, maybe half the magic touch.

But Ben couldn’t bring himself to be cute or ironic about it. Melanie losing her dominant hand only a year from completing her magnum opus seemed like a kind of cruel, cosmic joke.

4. Wilford pulled out all the stops as he tried to help Melanie adjust.

“You haven’t got one hand,” he said, standing close behind her, bringing his arms forward, palms up, fingers wiggling. “You’ve got three.”

“Thank you,” she said. “But really, I can manage on my own.”

“And miss your chance to command two of the devil’s finest playthings? Nonsense! It’ll be just like old times. Perfect sympatico.”

Wilford gave her arm a gentle squeeze, and while he was still behind and unable to see her reaction, Melanie seemed to slip. She was... repelled. Then, her eyes snapped up, realizing for the first time that Ben was standing there.

“Oh, bother,” Wilford sighed, still not releasing her arm. “Can we help you?”

“I have upgrades for the harmonic module,” Ben replied, presenting a thumb drive. “It’s a secondary system, designed to kick in for high volume calculations. It’s stochastic, so it should give us faster results, without-"

"-without a statistically significant impact on accuracy," Wilford finished his sentence. He smiled, impressed for once. "Well, well, Bennett. At least someone was working while the bosses were away. How about it, my dear? Are you in the mood for some nondeterministic computational theory, or is that too dull for this, the week of your triumphant return?”

Again, Ben met Melanie’s eyes. And again, every neuron in his brain screamed, something was very wrong.

Down the assembly line, a forklift dropped a pallet of supplies and Melanie flinched, though her facial expression remained unchanged. Blank. Empty. Not like she was somewhere else, but like she existed nowhere at all.

5. That night, for the first time in fifteen years, Ben dreamed about the car crash that killed his youngest brother.

Everything came back, as vividly as the day it happened. The bang-and-ring. The sickening spin. Shattering glass. Inversion. Crunching. The smell of gasoline and the taste of blood. And little Ian, just 8 years old and perfect, lying in the back seat next to him, his eyes open but unseeing. There were no final moments. He was just gone.

Ben awoke gasping and sweating. He ran to the bathroom and splashed water on his face. “Fuck!” he yelled into the towel as he dried off. What the fuck was that!?

But it didn’t take a genius to figure this one out, did it?

“Christ,” he mumbled, pulling out the bourbon. He poured a double, but stopped with the glass an inch from his lips. With another curse, he pitched the amber liquid down the sink. He filled the kettle, boiled water, and made tea.

As it steeped, he closed his eyes in meditation, counting every breath until his timer went off. 4 minutes.

When he opened his eyes again, it was snowing. Thick flakes, landing softly on the balcony. The Chicago cityscape twinkled in the background.

He thought about Melanie.

He thought about the vacant expression on her face. He’d never seen her like that before. But he recognized the look, from his own reflection, many years ago. 

He remembered being numb, exhausted, white knuckling every moment, startling at the slightest sound. After the accident, his older sister, Cecelia, took care of him. She slept next to him at night. She taught him breathing exercises. She took him to a doctor when things got really bad. And then she took him to another doctor, when the first one turned out to be useless. 

Cee probably saved his life.

Ben wondered if Melanie had her own Cecelia, or if it really was just Wilford. To his credit, the master engineer seemed to be doing everything in his power to put his broken protégé back together. And yet.

Ben frowned as he watched the snow come down. He just knew, something was very wrong.

There is a Part 4, it's coming soon...

[aion-rsa]

DuckTales Season 3 Episode 22 Review: The Last Adventure!

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This DUCKTALES review contains spoilers.

From the opening moments of DuckTales’ final episode it feels like the end. Almost everyone is here. There’s an extra care put into the scenes, a knowledge that we are in the last hour of their adventures. A last moment of uncomplicated joy before things get messy. And at the center of it all?

Webby. In the beginning she seemed to be the POV character of DuckTales, the one everything seemed to focus around. Some of that was caused by the original air dates of the episodes accidentally putting all her focus episodes at the start but it was a feeling that never left me. The show was an ensemble piece but there was something about Webby that kept her at the forefront. Something that made go, “if anyone had to lay claim as the main character of DuckTales, it’s her.” Boy, was I right about that!

The finale puts her in the middle of everything and finally pays off the mystery set-up at the top of the season. We finally learn about her past and as its slowly revealed it tugs on Webby’s biggest heartstring. Family. 

Her clones May and June press her with questions about the family. How none of the people she has connections with are related to her by blood. They aren’t her REAL family. Scrooge’s family isn’t hers. Her friends aren’t family. They play on a fear that’s been deeply held within her, that for all the talk of family is what you make it they still aren’t REALLY family.

It calls into question that critical core element of this new DuckTales. One could argue the show has done a LOT to say family is what you make it and this shouldn’t be a problem for Webby but come on, she has two sisters right in front of her. That would mess with her head and make her feel insecure.

This question of family extends out of Webby’s plotline and to all the others, especially Donald and Della. Donald wants to go off on a big trip with Daisy, intentionally leaving the family behind for the first time in who knows how long. This is a major step for him. He gave up his life to help raise Huey, Dewey, and Louie. He’s stuck by them even as they lived at the mansion. The guy deserves some time with the person he cares about without the weight of responsibility he’s carried for so much of his life.

Della though can’t take it. She tries to get him to reconsider. She has excuse after excuse but the real reason comes out, she doesn’t want to lose any more time with him. She was gone for so long why can’t he stay and make up for that lost time? He could, but as much as Donald loves Della he’s finally putting himself first. Of course Della accepts it because she’s Della and she’s great. I’m so happy they did this with Donald, the guy deserves it. Just because Della wants to spend more time with him doesn’t mean he HAS to. He can take time for himself, he can be his own person, he doesn’t have to be defined by the loss of Della anymore. Of course he’ll still see her and the rest of the family, he’s just going off to start his own part of the family. That’s a crucial element of family as well; you don’t always have to be together.

But of course when Webby and Huey get kidnapped Donald is right there to help and so is everyone else. The whole family rallies together, though Beakley is off on her own. Earlier in the episode Beakley revealed to Webby that she retired specifically because of her. That Webby was more important than anything else and, as we later learn, she gave up taking out F.O.W.L. to do it. There’s a running theme of how much you’ll sacrifice for your family here, as Beakley puts it, “when you find your family you’ll give up everything for them.” It’s well threaded throughout the episode, the biggest example of it of course being the giant mission to storm the temple.

It’s here the family comes up against the biggest nemesis of the series, Bradford. Bradford’s whole deal is that he was the first Woodchuck (and a terrible one.) He wants to rid the world of adventure, contain all the chaos it brings. What does all this mean? Why is he doing this? On first watch it’s a little unclear but when you zoom out Bradford wants to keep the world in order, in check. No deviations, nothing unexpected, no challenges, nothing unpredictable. He claims he’s a businessman, not a villain… but of course he’s a villain because a LOT of business people ARE villainous. Wanting to keep the world in check and playing by their rules is how they keep control. How they stay in power.

Adventures threaten that. They give power to those who don’t have it; they allow a wonder and mystery to fill the world. To give people hope, to bond them together. For Scrooge, it helped create his family. So of course Bradford would try to shut that down, he’s better served if people are unhappy and under his thumb as a businessman. Controlling Scrooge’s money was also a great bonus.

Bradford threatens the very heart of the series, adventures. He uses Webby specifically to gain the ability to take Scrooge’s adventures away… but of course he underestimated the family. He thought creating Webby’s clones would tear them apart, that separating everyone into cages would keep them from rising up… but you can’t stop the Duck family and Webby is the heart and soul of that. Even when she learns she was just another clone that doesn’t stop her for long. For anyone else that might have been a bigger blow but when she learns that Beakley saved her when she was a baby? That Beakley gave up everything for her so that someone would love her? That keeps her going.

That and the fact she’s (more or less) Scrooge’s daughter. Yeah she was made by F.O.W.L. but WHATEVER SHE’S REALLY A BLOOD PART OF THE FAMILY! At this point I was taken aback. Why does Webby NEED to have a blood relation to the family? Why can’t she just be a friend who became a part of the family? Isn’t that what DuckTales has been preaching for its entire run, you don’t have to be related by blood to be family and even if you ARE related by blood that doesn’t always mean you’re like family to someone else.

Some might consider this an easy cop out, a way for Webby to get what she always wants… but it’s so much more than that. Okay yes, Webby was sort of made from Scrooge’s DNA but that still doesn’t automatically make her a part of the family. They could easily reject her for not being “real.”  But everyone in the McDuck family loves her and that’s why she’s family, blood or not. Plus, the rest of the episode goes out of its way to show that damn near every good person the team has met is part of the family. So yes, Webby is now confirmed to be related by blood but that doesn’t undercut DuckTales’ message about family. Lena and Violet are part of the family, Gizmoduck, Darkwing Duck, Gosalyn, Launchpad, EVERYONE. As Webby tells May and June,

“Family are the people who stick by you. Fight for you. Blindly invade a sinister villain’s secret strong hold for you. Family would do anything to keep you safe and sacrifice everything to love you no matter who and what you are. Like Scrooge, like my granny, like you two.” That’s family and that’s DuckTales. Scrooge is willing to sacrifice it all, to give up adventuring… but FAMILY is the greatest adventure of all! It’s so powerful it breaks the most powerful magic contract of ALL TIME. BOOM, FAMILY! 

‘The Last Adventure’ was nothing short of an absolute masterpiece, the closest thing to a true 2017 DuckTales movie we’ll ever get. The action was big, damn near every character from the show made it in, and it capped off everything so beautifully. It’s stunning how many references and characters are squeezed in here but it never feels rushed or over bloated. All the references work, whether you know the deep cuts or not. My personal favorite was the revelation that Manny is no intern… he’s actually The Headless Manhorse of the Apocalypse AND HE LIVES AGAIN… voiced by Keith David. It’s such an elaborate Gargoyles reference but even if you don’t know that it’s hilarious to see this new side of Manny.

There’s too many moments to talk about. So many little bits that could deserve full articles on their own. Della using her leg like an axe, B.O.Y.D. being just a head, or Launchpad becoming Gizmoduck! If you’ve been reading all my DuckTales reviews you know how much I’ve loved the character of Lena and just seeing her there at the end as part of the family made me smile and warmed my heart. She went through so much and look where she is now, she has people who love her AND she’s a superhero. 

As the credits rolled and all the characters we’ve all grown to love soared past the screen for the final time, it hit me just how much I’m going to miss DuckTales. I’ve reviewed every single episode of the series and it has been an immense privledge. The level of care and creativity that went into every single aspect of the series did not go unnoticed. The people behind the scenes truly delivered something special, a series that will stand the test of time as not just a worthy entry into the Duck universe or just a Disney cartoon series, but as an absolutely wonderful show all on its own. It was incredibly funny, joyously warm, and knew how to hit you with some major life lessons. Lena’s story arc in particular will always stick with me and works as a gut wrenching portrayal of the effects of abuse. Her story was just an example of DuckTales as its strongest, when it was able to use it stories to hold up a mirror to our own lives and safely let us explore them. While also giving us a lot of laughs.

DuckTales has power; it’ll keep having power. Now that the show’s ended I have no doubt more people will check it out on Disney + and realize how special it was. How great it was. How even if it still had more stories to tell it still gave all it had. 

Thank you for everything, DuckTales. You’ll never be forgotten. 

DuckTales Quotes To Make Your Life Better

-“No, no maniacal laughter! We are not common villains.”

-“Come with me if you want DEW-live.”

-“Yes I was right! …. Oh no, I was right.”

-“I LIVE AGAIN… Again.”

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-“Please hold all startled utterances of disbelief for the end.”

The post DuckTales Season 3 Episode 22 Review: The Last Adventure! appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[meta-squash]

Brick Club 1.3.7 “The Wisdom Of Tholomyes”

Oh my god there’s so much in this chapter, I’m so sorry for how long this is.

It’s probably just me, but this speech, or at least the beginning of it, reminds me of the way Shakespeare tends to write characters that are obnoxiously lecturing other characters (Polonius in particular comes to mind for some reason).

Tholomyes drunkenly stands up and tells everyone to slow down, to both eat and talk more slowly. But two chapters ago Hugo said they had finished eating. Go home, Tholomyes, you’re drunk. Tholomyes compares Talleyrand and Grimod de la Reyniere, one was a connoisseur of wine, the other of food, which is probably a “these people say savor your meals” statement.

Everyone else wants him to shut the hell up so they can continue their conversations and/or singing, which is funny. Also, I see so much Grantaire in this entire speech. Only, instead of a “down with your claws” remark going ignored, Tholomyes’ “You are it’s marquis” pun makes everyone quiet down, which he obviously takes as an invitation. 

Tholomyes first segment about puns absolutely sounds like Hugo being extremely self-aware. He has an unlikable character criticize and disparage the excess use of puns, fully knowing the amount of puns that will be used later on in this book. Hugo mentions irony in conjunction with Tholomyes in 1.3.2, here he’s really displaying it.

According to wikipedia, the Jesus/Peter pun is due to a Greek translation, where “Peter” is translated to “Petros” and then the same sentence also contains the word “petra” (rock), so that Jesus is saying “Thou art Rock, and upon this rock will I build my church.” The Polynices pun is from Aeschylus’ play Seven Against Thebes. At one point the play’s chorus describes Polynices and his brother Eteocles as being “true to each other’s names, both truly lamentable (eteokleitoi) and both full of strife (polyneikeis).” The Cleopatra pun is basically Cleopatra mocking Antony, who is upset that Caesar is late to battle, calling Caesar’s tardiness harmless. The “prudence of Amphiaraus” is also a pun, since Amphiaraus was a Greek king and seer who continuously did things knowing they’d go wrong or fail. The “baldness of Caesar” pun is a play on words because “Caesar” means “hairy child” and Caesar himself was balding.

I’ve just realized that the “Est modus in rebus” (Moderation in all things) line is what reminds me of Polonius. I can’t help but think of his “neither a borrower nor a lender be” lecture towards Laertes.

Tholomyes suddenly gets a little more ominous and foreshadowing as he talks about how love should not be overloaded, and there must be restraint and ends to things, even love. “The wise man is he who knows when and how to stop. Have some confidence in me.” I love this for a few reasons. First, Tholomyes is pretty drunk here, and he’s the one calling for moderation in all things. Ha! Second, it’s funny that he’s telling people to have confidence in him when they all seem to want him to be quiet. Third, he’s got an interesting way of interpreting “how to stop.”

Which is actually a line that’s interesting to me. Previously I kind of thought this cruel prank was a thing he’d done to women many times before, with other friends. Except this “the wise man is he who knows when and how to stop” line sounds like he’s talking about trying to extricate himself from this whole situation. Maybe he’s never knocked up a grisette before; certainly he’s probably never had one actually fall in love with him before, since usually everyone’s on the same page. He wants out of this relationship that’s more than he signed up for. It’s definitely time to stop, and this is apparently the only “how” he knows?

Sylla was the first republican to seize power via military coup; but at the end of his dictatorship, when he had imposed all the changes he wanted, he abdicated and retired. I don’t understand the Origenes line, but I think that’s due to my cluelessness when it comes to the way different areas of Christianity work.

He pronounces “friends” in a few different languages, which I can only imagine as being very slurred and with sloppy, ridiculous gestures. He waxes poetic (or something) about how to have no passion or love. I can’t tell if he’s talking about having an affair without falling into marriage/love, or feeling nothing at all. In the next lines he certainly seems annoyed with himself for getting mixed up with someone who has actual feelings for him.

Here’s more shades of Grantaire. Tholomyes has this whole rant on each country’s measurements; Grantaire has his rant on each country’s popular trade. But Grantaire’s is a political and social critique, while I think Tholomyes’ might be a dick joke?

Tholomyes isn’t even subtle about his affair with Favourite here. He straight up insults Zephine and calls her ugly, I think he insinuates that Dahlia is boring, and then he basically dismisses Fantine and calls her an airhead. And in the middle of this he sings Favourite’s praises. He specifically calls attention to her mouth. Also, he refers to her with “tu” instead of “vous,” the first time he uses the familiar with her, at least with company around.

God, he talks about Fantine like she’s not even there. What an asshole. I hate him so much. He talks about Fantine like she’s not there, and she doesn’t do or say anything to contradict that. Again, she gets no dialogue in this chapter. Where is Fantine at, mentally, in all of this? Because Hugo does this a lot: he’ll describe someone or something in idealized tones, and then a chapter or two later a character will have dialogue describing that same person/thing, but in much more down-to-earth ways. Fantine and Cosette are both described in conjunction with birds. Only, Cosette is a bird, and Fantine is staring off into space, imagining birds. Honestly if we’re still going about this with the headcanon that she’s on the spectrum (which I am, I love it), this sounds like an overstimulation shut down. Hell, my adhd brain does the same thing when I’m in places that are really loud and busy and there’s not really a point of focus. If everyone around them is yelling and laughing and singing as much as they are, then it’s probably horrific in this pub.

Tholomyes is so blatant here about his intentions around Fantine. “I am an illusion--but she doesn’t not even hear me...” I think this piece of dialogue is twofold. Tholomyes is again hinting at his plan to leave, to end everything; his relationship with Fantine is so fake as to be an illusion. But it’s also here to describe Fantine, who is dreaming up a relationship that doesn’t exist. I kind of get the feeling that Tholomyes hasn’t been very nice to Fantine for a while, hasn’t been trying to keep up the pretense of this relationship, and yet Fantine is so wrapped up in her own personal illusion that they’re in love that she is unable to notice or see his assholery.

Yet another shade of Grantaire here. This monologue describing Fantine made me think of R’s “Chowder is ugly” monologue. Tholomyes describes Fantine as the “daughter of chimeras” while Chowder is a chimera. They both get classical allusions: Fantine is a nymph, while Chowder is a gargoyle instead of Galatea. Chowder gets hair like lead, while Fantine is a jewel. Both men are drunkenly harassing women and being real obnoxious about it. The difference is a) Chowder is probably used to it as waitress and Grantaire doesn’t seem to mean genuine harm and b) Tholomyes is “in a relationship” with Fantine, and that’s no way to treat someone, and it definitely sounds like he’s mocking her in front of her face to other people.

The “too much sugar” rant goes with the marriage one, I think. According to Tholomyes, women are too obsessed with the fairytale-type nice things, spend too much time imagining sweetness like a wedding. I’m not sure how popular trash romances were at the time (I know Hugo mentions that Mme. Thenardier reads them) but I wonder if he’s referencing reading those as well.

“Make conquests. Rob each other without remorse of your beloved. Crisscross and double cross. In love, there are no friends. Wherever there’s a pretty woman, there’s open warfare....” You know what, I think Tholomyes actually really wants Fantine to figure it out. At first I thought he was being an annoying asshole and acting like this because he knows she doesn’t get it so he doesn’t care. But I actually think he wants to see her put it together. He’s still talking in metaphors and references, but I think he wants Fantine to realize that he’s cheating, that he doesn’t love her back and this is just a fling. He wants her to be on the same level as everyone else. I don’t know if he wants it so that there’s a better chance of them getting away without consequences, or if he’s a cruel bastard (he is) who wants to watch her world collapse. He’s been saying it louder and louder and more and more obviously as the speech goes on. But as he says just a paragraph before, Fantine just doesn’t get it. Either she truly doesn’t notice, or she refuses to see. He describes her as so distant here, I think she truly doesn’t notice or get it.

This is also a bunch of references to women who were historically raped. He basically seems to be saying that when you refuse to settle down, you get the “benefit” of being the enemy and taking other people’s partners. Gross. Hugo really knows how to write a slimy, unlikable asshole. And even his friends seem to think he’s going to far, because they tell him to stop talking, and when it seems like he’s going to start up again, they sing some annoying rhyming song. Why they thought that would shut him up, I don’t know.

He really does spend this whole speech dropping hints. “Let’s finish our course of study with folly and food” sounds like he’s talking about messing around with the women, but also definitely sounds like a hidden “ooh, you’re about to get tricked and feel so stupid.”

He spouts off a bunch more springtime allusions (comparing nightingales to the opera singer Jean Elleviou, Jardin du Luxembourg, pastorals about various upper-class streets, etc.) The pampas line is interesting. Pampas are big open fertile lowlands in South America, as compared to the covered arcades of the Odeon theatre. Again I think this is a twofold joke: on the one hand, literally the Pampas is a place Tholomyes could go and become a landowner and be a rich independent colonizer, but he feels he does perfectly fine shmoozing at the the theatre in Paris. Less literally, this could also be a sex joke, similar to Grantaire’s “if only I wanted to,” only worse. Basically he’s saying “look at all these girls I could go fuck in other places, but I get enough tail in the theatres of Paris.” Gross.

He then kisses Favourite “by mistake.” I think at this point he knows Fantine is never going to get it. But Favourite is clearly in on the joke. He doesn’t even care anymore, he’ll cheat on Fantine in front of all of them because they all kind of know except Fantine--who isn’t going to figure it out, obviously.

[aconitemare]

[jaydick] Before That, And Colder

Chapter Four

AO3

Previous Chapter

Dick kicks his foot in the air repeatedly, inspecting the pink flowers on his white Oxfords. He’s pretending to ignore the people around him — possibly, he is actually ignoring them, as the outlines of their bodies blur around his fancy footwear. He leans farther back on Jason’s desk, conjuring the picture of ease. To his left rests Jason’s Red Hood helmet in a gargoyle-fashion. Everyone here knows Jason Todd is the Red Hood, but Dick is just Richie Grayson, D-list celebrity. The sleeves of his pretentiously silk bomber jacket, embroidered with colorful roosters, slip slightly down his shoulder. 

“Is this really the best time to be hiring people? Specifically this person?” This question comes from James — or “Wingman,” as Jason earlier informed him of. James is up-and-coming, bat-themed, Gotham-based vigilante who believes the Red Hood is absolutely critical to public safety. Dick has not yet shared this detail with Batman, having only received it an hour before this current meeting, but he’s hoping they’ll share a good laugh over that.

“No time like the present,” Jason says without much concern. He stands beside the desk, a few feet from Dick. 

Dick catches James crossing his arms from the corner of his eyes. The defensive body language convinces him to focus more on the arrangement of people. Suzie Su still sits on the recliner, seemingly indifferent. Her sisters, one of which Dick recognizes as the waitress who intercepted him and Miguel earlier, flock around Su either on the couch or near her armrest; all except for Night, Dick’s blackjack dealer yesterday, who now occupies a distant corner of the room by herself. Miguel sits in the recliner opposite Suzie Su, playing with his tie. James stands the closest to Dick and Jason and busies himself with looking like he eats nails for breakfast. 

“The son of Bruce Wayne is hardly a sound addition to the Outlaws,” James points out. 

Suzie Su’s head swivels towards Jason. “Oh, no,” she says, suddenly invested, “Whatever ‘the outlaws’ is, count me out of it. I’m going legit, you promised!”

Jason takes a page from Dick’s book and seats himself on the corner of his desk. He grips the edge, knees spread, so that he looks like he’s riding a horse. For an unstably diverse crowd, he’s rather at ease at the head of it, Dick notes. Jason holds up a silencing finger and begins his address, “Firstly, the Outlaws are too legit for any mere mortal to handle, that includes you, Su, so stuff it. Secondly, James, you can also stuff it because no one’s inviting Richie Rich onto the team except you, it would seem.”

So, does that mean I don’t get to see the Super Secret Clubhouse and make friendship bracelets? Dick almost says. Instead, he receives a text alert and checks his phone to see Bruce left him a message. 

What is your plan of action? it reads.

Dick quickly shoots back a non-committal text, wary of Jason sensing Batman’s concern through the phone. Luckily, Jason doesn’t pay Dick’s texting any mind, preoccupied with his stand-off against Wingman. 

James persists, undeterred by Jason’s skilled dismissal. “Batman isn’t exactly in your corner, Todd. He is, however, in Wayne’s pocket. As is Richie Grayson.”

Dick frowns; his current persona is apparently no longer a good fit. He will need to adjust accordingly. Dick sits up straighter on the desk and tucks his legs. “I have my own funds, as a matter of fact,” he speaks up. Jason’s eyes slice into him — oh, right, Dick’s not supposed to talk while meeting the in-laws. Oh, well. He continues, “I work for the Bludhaven Police Department.” 

Dick touches his jacket collar and inspects the interior fabrice. “I try to dress nice when there might be cameras so I don’t make Bruce look bad, but most of it’s bought off-price at Marshalls.” This last part is a lie as he rarely buys his own photo op clothes. Bruce has a personal stylist who keeps everyone’s wardrobe at the Manor stocked. Dick hit up his old bedroom on the way to the hotel. 

“You’re a cop,” James repeats. 

Dick holds back a wince. So much for Agent 37’s kick-ass undercover portfolio. “Every cop’s a little dirty in the ‘Haven,” he says, hopefully smoothly.

Unfortunately, James does not find this comforting. “So not only are you a cop who knows about the Iceberg’s business, but you’re not even a good cop?”

Dick points at Jason. “He murders people,” he deflects. 

Jason sighs obnoxiously loud. “Richie has information and contacts,” Jason increases his volume when James looks like he wants to say something else, “neither of which are anyone’s business at the moment but mine. Believe it or not, but I’m pretty attached to my life, in both a literal and figurative sense, and so if I say the guy from that one lady-service Pantene commercial is going to keep my organs safely inside my body, rest assured, I have done my research.”

This standing ovation inspires Dick to wonder whether Jason saw that commercial on cable or some other venue. He tries and fails to imagine Jason watching Friends reruns. Maybe he caught it off some gun review video on Youtube. This is the kind of media Dick assumes Jason consumes. 

“Great to know,” says Suzie Su flatly. “So, Richie, who’s trying to whack our boss?”

“No one yet. There have been no attempts on his life thus far,” Dick responds. Then, “Also, you can just call me Dick.”

“Shouldn’t be too tough,” Suzie Su remarks.

“The situation will escalate, though,” James states,  “There is no doubt that Red Hood is the final target.”

“Correct. Which is why it’s important that we trust each other,” Dick says. He levels a gaze at everyone in the room except for James, which should indicate to him that he’s the object of criticism without presenting Dick as outwardly hostile. “If we are too busy suspecting each other without any evidence, we allow for outside threats to slip past our radar.” Dick can only hope they will take this to heart; it will be harder for him to investigate Jason’s people if they’re also investigating him.  

“Truth,” Miguel agrees as he stands to his feet and walks towards Dick. “Although it kind of worked out for us this time, right? You following me, us following you?” As he approaches, he extends a hand and Dick dismounts from the desk. “Welcome to the team, Dick,” Miguel says, clapping Dick on the shoulder as they shake. His smile is warm and sincere. Dick feels an equally genuine grin spread across his face. 

“Alright, alright,” Jason says, leaning from his spot on the desk to bat an arm at them. “What did I just say about teams, dude,” he gripes. Miguel shrugs rather blithely before he returns to his chair. Dick appreciates what he hopes will be the one easy-going personality in this tense bunch. 

Jason claps his hands together and stands. “Okay, here’s the deal: I want someone always watching my vehicle for the next, fuck, two weeks, I guess? One week?” He looks to Dick for confirmation. Dick mouths, ‘longer.’ “One week to start, cool,” Jason locks in his answer. “I don’t mean from the cameras, as I really am hoping to catch this person ASAP and get back to my regularly scheduled gangbanging.”

Dick watches the crowd: Miguel gives a whoop, Suzie Su rolls her eyes, one of the sisters not standing in the corner laughs. 

“So, that means I need you,” Jason flourishes his arm in the air and brings it dramatically down like a hammer, finger pointing sharply at Miguel, “to physically be in the parking lot.”

Miguel looks around in bafflement. “I’m the owner. That would look weird,” he says, gesturing towards himself.

Jason rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure everyone is lining up for your autograph, too, now come off it. No one here is instantly recognizable except for me, and that’s mostly to do with the helmet,” Jason pats the helmet beside him emphatically, “giving me serious red Darth Vader vibes.”

Dick suppresses a laugh. Jason hears him anyway, but that turns out to be not so bad. Jason’s eyes flicker towards him but they’re absent of reproach, which is how Dick realizes he had expected to be growled at for his humor. But Jason made the joke, didn’t he? He goes so far as to smile, not threateningly, but pleasantly. Dick wants to call it soft even. 

Jason’s eyes are back on the ragtag team within the second. He explains properly his reasoning to Miguel. “The subject’s abilities and target range are unknown to us. You’re our safest bet for handling whatever he might be capable of. And you can wear whatever you want.” Dick assumes that last bit is weighted with the implication of a supersuit, although Miguel’s secret identity may very well be known considering the lack of visible confusion on anyone’s face. Of course, that could just be indifference; no one in this room seems particularly interested in each other. 

“If you see someone snooping, wait it out. If you see someone put something on my bike, apprehend them and bring them to me where I can then proceed to shoot their brains out,” Jason instructs. Dick tries to say something, but Jason says over his attempt, “If they’re guilty.”

“Not really the problem,” Dick mutters. 

“The Su Brigade can, I don’t know, keep doing what you’re doing, I guess? Keep an eye on suspicious figures.”

Dick chimes in, “This time, however, immediately report to Jason or myself. Don’t rush in unless the threat is urgent. Don’t,” he motions to James, “text James, or whatever it is you guys did. That was sloppy and uncoordinated.”

James shifts his weight more evenly. Dick instantly recognizes the implicit challenge and straightens his back. “Text you, huh? What, you the boss now?”

Dick files through his possible responses, weighs the best tone to take, the stance to adopt. Should he pick up the gauntlet and try to assert dominance, or go for diplomacy? He doubts this will come to blows, but the direction he takes this could have later consequences, could affect Jason’s safety even in the long-run. 

Dick almost misses the change in Jason’s posture, but it’s instantaneous. “He’s close enough,” Jason has already spoken, no longer leaning against the desk but standing with his hands deceptively plunged into his jeans pockets and his searing green eyes locked on James. “More the boss than you are, at any rate, so yeah, I’d text him.” He sounds almost casual, accent set in a lazy Gotham drawl, yet there’s an angered click to how he sets his teeth. He’s intimidating, alright, the sharp cut of his cheeks complementing his strong jaw. He’s quite Hollwood-esque actually, Dick thinks — at least before he realizes Jason is looking right back at him. Jason raises his eyebrows and spins his fingers in a prompting manner. “Well? Anything else you’d like to derail the meeting with, Dick?”

And just like that, Jason manages to personally undermine the power he just gave him. Dick is bordering on impressed, restrained only by his sudden irritation. Dick simply smiles and says, “You’re the boss.”

“Fantastic. James! How do you feel about interrogating people you can’t beat up?” Jason proposes to the next member of the non-team. 

Dick thinks James could question people without beating them up just fine, especially after the practice he got in while interrogating Dick. James doesn’t comment on whether he’s up to the task, however, but replies, “Who am I interrogating?”

Jason grins and quickly bows his body. “A witness. Exciting, right? Unfortunately, no, not exciting. This will suck for you. Daniel Garcia, the second victim, should be at Gotham General Hospital — fingers crossed he has insurance, because otherwise you’ll have to find out where he lives and talk to him there.”

Dick could be projecting, but he thinks James puffs up his chest at this. “I can find anyone anywhere,” vows James.

“I’ve no doubt, buddy. I just would prefer he not have to relive everything the second he gets home because a stranger wants to hear the gory details,” Jason explains. His tone is slightly scolding. There might be some decency in him yet. Dick immediately feels guilty for being surprised. Jason is a good guy. A good guy. He’s said as much to Bruce. Did he forget to tell himself the same thing?

“Bring some flowers to soften things,” Dick suggests.

“Flowers don’t soften a crowbar, Dick,” Jason disagrees. Still, he adds for James, “But yeah, bring flowers. The family won’t like you for it, but they’ll hate you even more if you don’t.”

“Do we have to do anything?” Suzie Su asks, a little unhappily, it would seem. Dick doesn’t trust her. Then again, would she be so openly disloyal if she was double-crossing? The only person in this room Dick trusts is Miguel — and even then, if there’s one thing Batman has been trying to drill into him for half his life, it’s that trust is a liability. Anyone here could logically be a mole. Anyone here could be loyal, too. 

“No, Suzie Su, I expect absolutely nothing from you and that’s why I dragged you to a staff meeting, so you could sit on your ass and pick at your nails,” Jason intones. Suzie Su drops her manicured nails to her lap and glares at him. Jason sticks his tongue out in response. “You and your lovely sisters of questionable bloodline are my ears to the ground.”

“So, same as before?”

Jason cocks his head, shakes it up and down as if weighing the question, and says, “K-i-i-i-i-nd of? It’s like what you were doing before, but not complete garbage. Need I remind you that you let this idiot into my office.” Jason jabs his thumb in Dick’s direction.

Miguel raises his finger. He’s properly relaxed in his cushiony recliner, legs crossed and arms spilling over the back. “Ah, but you let the idiot stay,” he reminds Jason. 

Dick twists his lips. “Thanks, Miguel. Or whatever.”

“Or whatever,” Jason decides. “Alright, everyone out of my office and onto the things I demand of you. Dick, you’re coming with me.”

The crowd is already dispersing. Dick hops off the desk and pats the wrinkles from his pants. “Why’s that? I thought you didn’t want me breathing down your neck.”

Jason’s back is to Dick as he fastens his Red Hood helmet over his head, which tips Dick off that some of his people outside the office might still not know who’s under the mask. Jason’s response is rougher than before. “You saw the tapes, didn’t you?” The energy from only a minute ago has melted from his voice. The helmet lights up then and Jason’s next words are modulated, shrouded in static. “That makes you the expert.”

Dick does not miss the irony of this statement. 

  ___________

  Dick has Jason drive him to Bludhaven. Jason has many cars and not a single one is worth less than $80,000. “How do you blend in?” Dick asked on the way to his shitty apartment across the pond, Jason looking absolutely put-upon by the half-hour drive.  His Red Hood helmet has been stowed away in a personally customized, hidden compartment. “I don’t,” Jason simply replied. Dead guys, according to Jason, don’t need to feign poverty. Especially if those dead guys are better known for their underground empires and resort casinos. However, two rich men in a luxury vehicle don’t have much business commiserating with the family of boys like Terry Weind. So, the two stop by Bludhaven to pick up Dick’s Saturn and allow him to change into less flamboyant clothes. 

Dick chooses a threadbare BPD t-shirt and jeans. Jason stays in his signature ensemble of leather jacket and combat boots. He raises his brows at Dick’s outfit, but Dick insists it’s a good choice. Even if they don’t like the police, he’s still out of uniform and unarmed, and they’ll know this isn’t his territory. He’ll seem like a commuter, which might even win him some subconscious sympathy; many people in downtown Gotham have to commute to Bludhaven, albeit usually for a fishery job and not the police department. 

Jason waits in the car for Dick to come out. Dick invites him in, but secretly he’s relieved. The place is a mess. If how he keeps his office is a hint, Jason’s habits are immaculate. They would put Dick to shame. Dick taps Jason’s window to signal they’re switching to the Saturn. Jason takes an excessively long time to part with his car, all but cooing at it, but does eventually make it over. He settles into the passenger seat, looking Dick up and down.

“What?” Dick asks, perhaps defensively. He should’ve said something like, “Like what you see?” but it’s too late for that. 

Jason shrugs casually, but his eyes flicker to Dick’s hair. “Nothing. You just look normal now.” 

Dick jams his keys into the ignition, because he has to be rough for the car to start, and rolls his eyes. “You mean my hair’s not gay?”

“Eh. Less gay.” And then Jason is reaching out and ruffling his hair, fingers curling through the still-damp waves. Dick stuck his hair under the bathroom sink’s faucet before putting his shirt on. He got water everywhere, but he needed to get the product out. He weirdly hopes Jason doesn’t feel any lingering stickiness, that his hair is soft to touch. 

Jason’s face abruptly screws up in confusion as if he isn’t sure how he got here. Slowly, he retracts his hand and sits straight in his seat. Dick didn’t notice how open Jason’s body language was just a moment ago, but he notices how it closes. His knees no longer point towards Dick but to the windshield; his arms, once extended towards him, now fold across his chest. Dick stares at him for a moment, trying to piece together the puzzle he suspects they almost had. 

Jason’s presence always has that mystifying effect on him, however, like he’s a monument to all the almosts they’ve been. When Jason was Robin, they were almost friends. When he was the Red Hood, they were almost enemies. Then they might have been brothers, could have been, maybe. There had been that night on the rooftop when Dick had managed to slip through Spyral’s many fingers — when Barbara had run away and Damian had embraced him and Tim demanded why, why — Jason had drawn blood as his voice broke because you don’t do that to your. Almost.

They are always on the verge of some new meaning. 

“Well?” asks Jason. “Are you waiting for me to set up the GPS? You know the address, let’s go.”

Dick quickly recovers and begins edging out from his spot between two other parked cars on the street. “What are we, drag racing? Jeesh.” They avoid traffic for the drive over but do swing into a corner store once they’re in Gotham again. Jason buys the most expensive bouquet available while Dick fiddles with a rack of playing cards. Pokémon? Magic? Would Terry care about either of those games? He sees Jason head to the counter and grabs a random card pack to check out. His phone buzzes in his pocket just as he finishes counting off the dollar bills. He hands the cashier $16 and unlocks his phone. It’s from Bruce.

Any progress?

Dick begins typing out an answer when he remembers the boundaries he agreed on with Jason. He said he wouldn’t share any details with Bruce unless Jason okay’d it. He could let Jason know Bruce is asking, but even mentioning Bruce tends to sour him. Dick would rather get through this meeting with Terry Weind first. He makes a mental note to inform Jason later and give Bruce a non-answer if he says no. 

Ten minutes later and they’re standing on narrow porch steps. The wooden planks are dark and splintery and covered in cigarette butts where an ash tray has been knocked down. Dick squats down and picks it up; ceramic, woodsy-green and leaf-shaped. He sets it atop the paint-chipped banister while Jason knocks on the door. The walls are thin enough that Dick can trace the sound of someone walking down the stairs. It’s summery outside today, the earth baked through by the sun, but he’s thinking of winters down here. Even with a good furnace, these walls must let the chill in. 

A woman opens the door in her nightgown, one hand on the knob and the other on the frame. Her eyes are red and the skin beneath them sags. Her skin is almost ashen. She looks tired. She is tired, she’s exhausted, Dick can feel it when he looks at her. Her exhaustion is a heavy substance that spreads out and sinks into his flesh. 

“Are you Terry’s mom?” Jason asks. He has the flowers already at his chest. His voice is stiff with emotion. Dick recalls his comment about Daniel reliving trauma and wonders if that’s what Jason is doing right now. 

The woman nods and says that, yes, she is, but little changes in her expression. Dick had been expecting confusion, but she accepts the flowers without hesitation. Evidently, they are not remotely the first ones to share condolences. “My name’s Laura,” she says, touching the waxy petal of a calla lily. Her voice is soft and deep as if it’s been anchored to the bottom of the ocean.

“I’m Jason.”

“Dick,” Dick says after him. 

Laura opens her mouth silently for a few seconds before carefully telling them, “I appreciate you boys coming here and wishing us well. It’s been hard, but we’re grateful to the community’s response, it’s been wonderful. I hope you don’t mind me not inviting you in, it’s just that I work grave and don’t get much sleep, and Terry’s resting.”

“We understand. But actually, we’re not just here to offer our sympathy — though you do have it, of course,” Dick conveys. He rushes the words of each clause so his speech comes out in quick, nervous chunks. He’s dipping head, taking up as little room as possible while moving closer to her. Jason takes a step back to accommodate him. He wants to represent himself as sincere, perhaps too sincere to the point of being clumsy. People often think inept and trustworthy are the same thing; the logic goes, you can’t be hiding any tricks up your sleeve if you’re more likely to spill them on the floor. 

“If you turn us away, we get it, don’t worry,” assures Dick, “but this is our city and our kids are getting snatched.”

Laura begins shaking her head. “Oh, no, he’s not answering any questions — ”

“We won’t ask as many questions as the police,” Dick hurries to say. “We don’t need to. We,” here, Dick breaks off his speech and looks uncertainly at Jason, feigning hesitance. Then he takes a galvanizing breath, readying for his big leap, this information he’s sharing only with Laura. “I work part-time at the Park Row Memorial. I’m a guard, similar work to what I do with the Bludhaven Police. We have it monitored 24/7 so it doesn’t become a high-crime area again.” Dick sighs in frustration and bites his lips. “Laura,” he says firmly, staring into her eyes. Her pupils have dilated along his story. Good. “I saw Terry that night. The police haven’t even asked Park staff yet, they don’t care. But I saw it happen and I think I can do something about it.”

The best cover story is always based in reality. The best lies are true. 

Laura’s eyes drop the ground as she thinks. She’s also biting her lip. Dick ponders over whether she does that often and Dick got lucky, or if she’s mirroring him. Either way, he’s won her over. She shuffles to the side and waves them in, her movements less languid than before. 

She leads them to the stairwell and says, “If he doesn’t want to answer questions, he doesn’t have to. I’m not going to force him, you got it? Get what you can and hope it’s useful.” With this, she climbs the steps to the second floor, Jason and Dick following at an appropriate distance. They pause at the top step while she enters Terry’s room and explains in hushed tones his guests. She relates Dick’s reason for being here and then there’s a long pause before Dick detects a faint, “Sure.” 

Dick and Jason share a look that confirms: they’re in. Laura places a light hand on Jason’s bicep and guides them to the door. “I’ll stand right here,” she says firmly and waves them forward. Dick looks around for a chair, sees none, and settles on the windowsill facing Terry’s bed. He’s faired better than the next two kids, all injuries considered. He was out of the hospital in a month. He lies in his twin-sized mattress beneath a crisp sheet, a blue comforter shoved to the foot of his bed. A square bandage covers his right cheek, there’s stitching over his right eyebrow, and there’s more stitches on the right side of his skull. His right arm and knee have been set in casts. Dick remembers him curling onto his side at one point in the video. 

In the wake of the other victims’ hospital records (courtesy of Oracle), Terry’s assault had been carried out with perfunctory brutality. Dick recollects the scene but recalls no hesitation in the attacker’s swings, yet their violence has clearly increased. Perhaps they are doing someone else’s dirty work and the job has just now awakened a taste for pain in them. Or maybe it’s one guy after all and they’re adjusting to the role. 

“So, you know the fucker who did this?” Terry speaks up first. His voice is a little rough and definitely fatigued. Despite his current infirmity, Dick can tell he’s a sturdy kid. He’s got the same build Jason had at that age, youthfully broad with natural muscle in the absence of training. A body with room to grow in. 

Dick shrugs. “Not personally. But we hold out hope. What did his face look like? Any defining features?” he attempts, even knowing that Terry’s report claimed to make out nothing from the night of the attack.

Terry was looking at Jason beforehand, which Dick can’t blame him for. Jason takes up most of the room as he stands by Terry’s feet, stock straight with his massive arms folded. Dick has a habit of downsizing Jason in his head. In general, Dick’s guilty of subconsciously diminishing certain people’s threat levels, letting his familiarity with them obscure the danger they still pose. He does his best to put himself in Terry’s shoes and see what he might see; he accomplishes this by summoning the first night he encountered the Red Hood before he was also Jason Todd, fallen boy wonder. Even without the vigilante get-up, the man’s intimidating. 

Now that Dick has asked a question, however, Terry’s eyes appraise him. Dick once again folds in on himself, tucking his arms closer to his sides and leaning back so he’s as out of Terry’s space as he can be. Then Terry’s eyes stray to the floor and he mumbles, “Looked like nothing. It was dark.” But he doesn’t say it like it was nothing. 

“You saw something,” Dick contests. He’s not going to wheedle or coax, he decides, because that would just leave Terry room to equivocate. “You don’t know what you saw, but you saw something, and whatever that is will help us more than pretending there weren’t streetlamps.”

Terry grimaces. The twitch of his battered face reminds Dick of his age and his heart aches. There should be a grace period for children, an exception made for those still new to this earth. He hates that pain is one of the first things they learn. “He was white, I guess,” Terry supplies. His good fingers have found a loose thread on the hem of his pushed-down sheets. He picks at it. “He never said a word the whole time. It was quiet. He — I saw his hands. I thought, I thought the police would find his thumbprints or whatever, on me, but that’s not how it works, they said. They were all fucked up.”

“The hands or the police?” Jason interjects.

Terry doesn’t look up from his loose thread, but one half of his mouth pulls up into a faint, flickering smile. It manages to be bright even so. “The hands. There were old scars all over the knuckles. Dry, too, like he never heard of lotion.”

Dick supposes the attacker could work in manual labor, but it’s unlikely if there were truly that many scars and all old. “Just the knuckles?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

Dick guesses he’s experienced with combat. The ugly, close-up kind. Still, just the knuckles, that sounds more like punishment than accident. And the dry skin? That could easily be eczema, although wouldn’t a seasoned killer think to cover up, prevent skin follicles from falling into a lab tech’s hands? It is summer, but Gotham runs more humid than dry, so perhaps they’re dealing with a foreigner. “And the face?” he prompts. 

Terry abruptly drops his hand from the nervous thread and sighs raggedly. “Nothing, man. I couldn’t see anything, okay, it was,” Terry falters, “confusing.”

“Confusing how?” Jason asks.

“I don’t know!” Terry’s voice pitches in frustration. “It was weird, all swirly and shit.”

Dick can hear the criticism leak into Jason’s tone when he curtly repeats, “Swirly.” 

Terry backpedals. “I said I don’t know,” he mutters. 

Swirly voices sound familiar to Dick. He used to have one for a time when he played James Bond for Spyral. “I think we might have a contact, Jay,” Dick muses. 

“Really?” Jason says with noticeable surprise. “Swirly’s our big break?”

“Emphasis on the might and ixnay on the big.” To Terry, he says, “Tell me, does tsuchigumo ring any bells?”

Terry’s face scrunches up. “Does what huh?”

Dick will take that as a no. “Oh, well. Still worth looking into,” he says. Dick stands and retrieves the card pack from his plastic bag. He holds it up for Terry to see before setting it down on the bed. Terry takes it immediately and brings it up to his face for inspection. “Your mom has the flowers. I wasn’t sure what to get you, but let me know if you need or want anything. Oh.” Dick swivels his head around the room. There’s not much to it aside from a bed, a dresser, and a box T.V. collecting dust. “Do you have something I can write my number on?”

Jason chooses that moment to step forward, sliding between Dick and where Terry lies. He leans across, a crisp, laminated paper balanced between his index and middle finger. “Here’s my card. Let me know if you have any more information or if either of you need help,” he explains. Terry sets Dick’s gift down and gingerly accepts the card. He flips it over: no logo, just a phone number.

“That’s it?” says Terry. “What contact? Who did this?”

“It’s too soon to tell. I wish I had more to give you two,” Dick says sympathetically to Terry and Laura, the latter of whom hasn’t left her post by the door. She rests her cheek on the frame and watches on.

Terry has more questions though and he’s edging on excited. “Are you P.I.’s? Why do you even care? I bet you fucking did this, or one of your boys — ”

“I understand your distrust,” Dick says over him. He glances nervously at Laura to gauge what she thinks of the accusation and if she’s about to step in. She’s a little straighter, body no longer depending on the wall, but her face is still impassive if alert. Dick hurries to smooth this over. “You don’t know us well enough to understand why we care. We have to prove ourselves, I get that. And we will. Until then, you’ve got nothing to lose, right? All we know is you didn’t see anything.”

Terry stares at him silently, suspicion darkening his eyes. There is risk in coming here, of course, depending on how well Terry’s attacker can trace Jason’s footsteps. But Dick has already weighed the risks and he’s betting that Terry’s part is done here insofar as the criminal is concerned. Luckily, Terry can’t identify what he’s got to lose or how much he has told them between the lines, so the charges drop like that. 

There’s a few beats of silence before Jason starts fidgeting. “Yea-a-a-h, we’re going to go now,” he announces, pointing over his shoulder towards the window. Dick could cringe, he’s so awkward. 

“Thanks to both of you,” Dick says and smiles as warmly as he can. He trails closely behind Jason who shuffles towards the door, his body too tall and too broad to fit comfortably in the modest room. Unthinking, the pads of Dick’s fingers feather over Jason’s back as if to guide him forward. As Jason moves, Dick lets his fingers linger in the air, covering up the touch with empty space. He curls his fingers in and tucks them behind his back. Laura follows them out. 

“Thank you again,” Dick says at the door. “We’ll be in touch if anything develops,” he promises. And he will be; if not as Dick then certainly as Nightwing. 

Laura thanks them half-heartedly. Dick suddenly feels self-conscious about the Pokémon cards. He may as well have given them a box with nothing inside it or a flashlight without a bulb. He heads back to the car, feeling Laura’s heavy gaze on his shoulders the whole way. 

Dick is buckling himself in when Jason opens the passenger door. “Mind sharing with the class what information was so decisive you had no further questions?” he asks as he climbs into the car. 

“No questions Terry could answer. This is the best we can do for a lead,” Dick explains. He needs to make a call, but that will have to wait until they’re on the road and not idling outside a victim’s house. Maybe he can take them to a restaurant, buy Jason a drink, a friendly gesture. Would Jason want to drink with him though?

“Yeah, about that,” Jason says as the car shoots off, “what lead?”

Scratch the drink; neither of them are lightweights, but on principle, they shouldn’t drink during an ongoing investigation. Still, he could buy them some sub sandwiches. He used to buy food for Tim all the time back in the day, as a reprieve from the typical Batman and Robin style of accidentally fasting until the case is resolved.

They reach a redlight almost immediately. Dick drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “Spyral uses this tech called ‘Hypnos 2.0.’ They slide in kind of like contacts? They’re eye implants basically, but they transmit information between your brain and the brain of whoever’s looking at you. Their most common application was hiding your identity. If someone looked at you, they’d just see a scrambled mess instead of a face.”

Jason’s face scrunches up as he stares out the windshield. He scratches his head. “Scrambled like Picasso or.”

The light turns green. “More like a spiral,” Dick says lightly, nodding conversationally. 

“Thematic,” Jason comments. 

“Very. And the uniforms weren’t too shabby either.” He adds the joke more to test the waters than anything, gauge how delicate a topic Spyral is between them. Everyone in their family has a slightly different relationship with Dick’s double life. Bruce and Damian’s have been the easiest, marked by faint curiosity about his activities and begrudging acceptance of help from associated colleagues. The others have been noticeably more dodgy and uncomfortable regarding for Spyral. Dick’s stint as as Agent 37 has made everyone evasive, even for bats. 

If Jason would normally have an emotional reaction to Spyral, he’s too preoccupied for one now. Dick can practically see the gears in his mind turning as his eyes narrow and his chin falls to rest on his hand. Dick feels simultaneously relief and shame; of course, Spyral is just a lead. Spyral may have been Dick’s life at one point, but to Jason, it’s just an organization. At best, contacting Spyral could save his life. At worst, well, Dick’s not expecting Jason to unpack whatever baggage Dick left in Gotham. 

Dick resists the urge to grimace at his own thoughts. He’s overthinking. Can one overthink a ruthless spy agency that up until a year ago controlled his every movement? 

Jason’s voice, slow and thick with the sound of a city that’s always been his, reels Dick back to shore. “Dare I ask what the uniform entailed?”

“Cargo pants,” Dick answers simply. He’s watching the road ahead, but he can hear Jason make a pleasantly surprised noise. They pass a fire hydrant painted to look like a sunflower. Dick thinks it’d be nice for Bludhaven to do that and makes a note to push the idea at city hall after the case. 

“So, you think that this guy is from Spyral?” Jason asks. 

Dick shrugs. “That, or he’s connected enough to snag some tech. We should check first with the other two victims, see if their descriptions match up with Terry’s. If they do, it’s probably Spyral and not some low-grade black market street vendor. Nine of out ten optometrists do not recommend mind control contact lenses.”

Jason slams his hand down on the middle compartment. “Mind control?” he exclaims. When Dick glances at him, Jason’s expression is mostly shock with a sliver of what might be plain rage. But that would be an overreaction considering all the other crimes Spyral is guilty of. All the crimes they’re guilty of, especially Red Hood, although making that argument would be more trouble than it’s worth. 

Dick tries not to let Jason’s sheer judgment weigh on him. Dick has far more pressing guilt elsewhere to torture himself over. Still, it’s hard not to feel righteous rage on Jason’s behalf. He often forgets this part of Jason’s character, this abrupt sense of justice that powers him, but it’s no less prominent than it is in Bruce or himself. It might actually be stronger in Jason, a little left of center, but bleeding red nonetheless. Unfortunately, car safety dictates Dick not be on the receiving end of justice, so he replies as casually as possible, “Well, that’s what Hypnos is, essentially.”

“No way.” Jason points an accusatory finger that Dick sees from his peripheral. A street corner features a hot dog stand. Dick nearly pulls over, but the finger might kill whatever buzz a chili dog can offer. “Don’t ‘that’s-what-Hypnos-is-Jason- obviously ’ me. You just said it transmits info.”

Dick did not think his tone had come off condescending in the least. But if that’s what Jason got from it, then perhaps he missed casual and landed on dismissive. Bludhaven must be eroding his tact already. “Sorry. When I said it transmits information, I meant it as a blanket statement for everything it does. Hypnos can alter memories, which is more-or-less how the identity protection works, by modifying one’s memory of a face. It can send someone a location address or really anything you have stored in your own memory, which is helpful. It can also send orders.”

“Yeah, I bet that’s helpful, too,” Jason derides. He looks like he smelled something bad. Was Dick this perturbed by Hypnos when he first joined Spyral? He doesn’t think so. He had been so quickly embroiled in so many terrible things. What was a little crowd control in the face of cold, efficient, and constant murder? 

The guns. The feel of one is his hand like death itself, how they loomed in his bedroom and among his gear, beckoning him closer to an edge everyone wanted to push him off of. The guns had overshadowed all else for him. 

“Either way,” Dick carries on, “it’s unlikely this guy has his hands on Spyral tech without Spyral knowing something about him. They keep close enough watch over people that have nothing to do with them, let alone people that have access to their technology. He could be anywhere from an engineer to a passing contact, but he’s no ghost.”

“Terrific. Exactly what I need, a mind-controlling stalker from an quasi-omniscient spy organization hellbent running around on the streets of Gotham.”

Dick shrugs. “Gotham’s had it worse.”

“Have I?”

“I don’t know. Have you?” Dick retorts. 

Jason scowls. “Wouldn’t be my first assassination attempt, I suppose,” he concedes.

Dick perks up and offers him a grin. “And it won’t be your last!” he crows. 

Jason just stares at him, utterly perplexed. His brows are furrowed and his mouth is curled above his teeth in bewilderment. 

“Because you’ll be alive,” Dick hurriedly explains. “You know, like, woohoo!” He takes one hand off the wheel to pump the air triumphantly. 

“Woohoo,” Jason repeats hollowly. “Insanity.”

“What?” asks Dick. They will be coming up on the grinder shop soon. Should he suggest lunch to Jason or just drag him in? He’s leaning towards dragging. That seems more effective.

“That we’re all just living to hopefully get killed a day that’s not tomorrow,” Jason observes. 

It’s not more cynical than funny, but something in Jason’s tone — the utter resignation, perhaps — makes Dick laugh anyway. “Everyone on earth’s on borrowed time, really,” he says, not unhappily. Death hasn’t frightened him since he was young. Exposure therapy, he called it once during some Titans mission that feels a lot farther in the past than it is. “The reckless and foolhardy like us, we’re just more aware of it.”

Jason blows air out from his nose in a mix between a snort and a laugh. “And here I thought vigilante-types were less aware of their own mortality.”

“Are you kidding? You have to know you’re walking towards death to find that exact path each night. Snatched purses, drug rings, elitist assassins dressed as owls, fear gas and escaped convicts and murderous clowns — and we run right towards them with open arms,” Dick says, irony guiding his grin as Jason smirks back at him. 

“And open chest cavities, half the the time,” Jason tacks on. 

Dick nods fervently. “Yes, let’s not forget that,” he tries to say seriously, but laughter trips him on the last word. “I don’t know. I think it’s all very sane, actually, to see what’s going on and get involved, do what you can to make everything a little bit better. But too much sanity can look like insanity, for sure.”

Jason does snort this time. “Keep moralizing like that and you’ll sound straight out of a conversation between the Joker and B.”

Dick wrinkles his nose. “Ew. I hope not.”

“‘We’re the same, you and I,’” Jason croons in a wispy, sing-song voice. “‘Sane and in-sane.’”

Dick can make out the small, white-background-red-letters sign of Hester’s Grinders a few yards down the road. There’s just enough room before the fire hydrant — this one plain, chipped red — to safely park. “Alright, alright, I get it. I’ll keep my philosophies to myself. And so long as we’re changing the subject — hungry?”

Previous Chapter

[lilhemmo]

S U M M A R Y :

      “They just don’t understand us,” she whispers, her eyes faltering down to her bloodied hands. “We’re different, that’s all.”       She looks up at the statue of the terrifying figure of Hades, the god of the Underworld. The moonlight glints off of the marble as the cool air sweeps like a balm over her skin, the hair on her body standing on end.

      “They say that you’re a monster,” she smiles, her eyes shining under the stars, “but I don’t believe them.”

In other words, a retelling of the story of Persephone and Hades, in which Persephone can’t wait to get to the Underworld. 

last updated: august 4, 2019 more details under the cut:

MAJOR AUTHOR’S NOTE: you really do have to forget everything you think you know about mythology in order to read this without being super critical. the cast, for example, doesn’t exactly line up “age-wise” with how myths go, but it was fun and i picked who i thought fit best with the god/goddess that i chose. if you have any suggestions for the remaining/TBD characters and their roles, please feel free to send me a message! 

SUMMARY:  Hades, portrayed by Sweet Pea, is sent to rule the Underworld for his own safety after his brothers, Zeus (Reggie) and Poseidon (Jughead), tell him of a terrible prophecy which will ultimately result in his death. After a few hundred years, an unlikely mortal comes slipping through the Gates of Hades. She may turn out to be much more than she appears.

ao3 | wattpad | fic tag

fic master page | forbidden fruit details page

FIC IS UPDATED EVERY FRIDAY EVENING AROUND 9 PM EST (please let me know if you want to be tagged in future parts)

M A S T E R L I S T :

part one: the prophecy & the outcast part two: the downfall part three: the surface part four: the awakening part five: the disparity part six: the twins part seven: the warning part eight: the oracle part nine: the bolt part ten: the torment part eleven: coming soon! epilogue: coming soon!

C H A R A C T E R    C A S T :

ps links take you to a moodboard/picspam for the characters :) also note - some gods/goddesses are genderbent to better fit the casting roles!

MAJOR GODS/GODDESSES

persephone - lilith (oc) hades - sweet pea zeus - reggie mantle poseidon - jughead jones hera - veronica lodge artemis - cheryl blossom apollo - archie andrews dionysus - fp jones athena - betty cooper aphrodite - josie mccoy hermes - kevin keller ares - hal cooper hephaestus - fred andrews demeter - (no riverdale character, she is played by herself!) hestia - mary andrews MINOR GODS/GODDESSES

achlys: the goddess of poison - penelope blossom aether: the god of light and the atmosphere - TBD aion: the god of empirical time - TBD ananke: the goddess of inevitability, compulsion and necessity - hiram lodge khaos: the goddess of the chasm - chic chronos: the god of time - TBD erebus: the god of darkness and shadows - TBD eros: the god of love - TBD gaia: the mother earth goddess - TBD hemera: the goddess of daytime - TBD hypnos: the god of sleep - TBD nemesis: the goddess of retribution - alice cooper nesoi: the goddess(es) of the islands - TBD nyx: the goddess of the night - hermione lodge ourea: the goddesses of the mountains - TBD phanes: the god(dess) of light and goodness - TBD tartarus: the god of the inferno - TBD thanatos: the god of death - TBD uranus: the god of the heavens - TBD

A HUGE THANK YOU TO MY WONDERFUL FRIEND @thesweetestsweetpea FOR MAKING THIS STORY EVEN POSSIBLE. SERIOUSLY, WITHOUT HER, I WOULD HAVE STOPPED BEFORE I EVER GOT GOING. <3

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[hereticalheraldry]

Disney Princesses’ trauma types

IE, definitely the darkest take on Disney I have ever done!

(see this post on trauma types)

Lots of Disney characters have had Adverse Childhood Experiences (death of mothers, to start with!) and exhibit signs of traumatic stress. Below are my guesses as to their chosen coping mechanism.

What 4F trauma type is each Disney character below (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn)

Snow White (dead mother, dead father, abusive and neglectful stepmother, stepmother literally tried to have her killed): It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this, but I’d say it’s Fawn-Flight. She is unerringly sweet. Her immediate reaction when in any form of danger (with a strange man, the huntsman, or the dwarves) is to try to appease, appeal, and make friends. She also has a ton of energy (flight), which she channels into obsessive cleaning, though she doesn’t seem to edge far enough into that to call it OCD. She also literally ran away in a segment that makes obvious how her fear drives her to flight.

Cinderella (dead father, abusive and neglectful stepfamily treats her as a slave): another Fawn-Flight. Unfailingly kind and sweet. So desperate for friends that she befriends the MICE. Also an incredibly hard worker (though tbf, her stepfamily forces that on her). When traumatized by stepsisters yanking to pieces her clothing (both a destruction of her hard work and a physical assault) she literally runs away into the garden to cry. She also runs away from the ball at midnight rather than turning back right there and explaining to the prince that she only got to go to the ball through magic because her family is abusive and probably stole her inheritance. Cinderella gets the wish that many with CPTSD have: that somebody would swoop in and rescue them! She gets rescued twice: by her fairy godmother AND by the prince.

Peter Pan (abandoned in Kensington Gardens and brought up by fairies, who are not the most emotionally stable beings out there): Flight. Classic ADHD: response: runs all over the island fighting, flying, and crowing. (Also literally flies.)

Ariel (dead mother, controlling and abusive father): Freeze-Flight. Instead of trying to please her excessively harsh father, like her hard-working singing sisters, Ariel ditches not only practices but CONCERTS in order to get away from her father and lose herself in her collecting hobby. She has a secret place where she hides in order to fantasize about having a different life in an entirely different place, away from her family. Her friends attempt to persuade her that life on land is impracticable for her. But when her father destroys her hidey-hole, she is retraumatized and resorts to flight to someone she thinks can fix her problems for her by making her human and sending her to the surface: she therefore literally runs away, and tries to get both Ursula and Eric to save her and get her away from her father.

Prince Eric: Surprisingly non-traumatized! I mean, as far as I remember.

Belle: non-traumatized? (at least to start with. I mean, we can always suggest Stockholm Syndrome later...) DOES seem to think she’s entirely different from everyone else around her (a common CPTSD symptom). Maybe traumatized by mother’s death? Bullying from the neighbors? Becoming a parentified child to take care of her absent-minded (though affectionate) father? Unaccustomed poverty? In any case, except for the trauma of her father’s near death and her own imprisonment, she is unusually competent and calm. If she edges toward anything, it’s probably Freeze-Flight: she has a pronounced capacity to become absorbed in fiction and ignore everything around her. When irritated by Gaston’s insulting and bullying proposal, she physically retreats entirely from the village in order to sing about how she wants to leave her poor provincial town for the great wide somewhere. She is fixated on escape, either mentally or physically.

Beast (dead parents, raised by servants who deferred to him rather than parenting him): Fight-Freeze. Hides in his castle; when encounters people is an ASSHOLE. Interestingly, Fight-Freeze types are notoriously hard to treat. Belle might have a future in psychotherapy if she can build better boundaries.

Aladdin (dead parents, has to eat to live, has to steal to eat, ostracized by his community, frequently threatened with death or maiming for theft): feels entirely different from the rest of the world. Flight. frequently in a state of frenetic energy, though a lot of that is because he’s stealing food and escaping the cops. His idea of a great date is to get Jasmine away from the palace: to escape and help her to do the same. intense feelings of shame and inferiority (despite his insistence that there’s so much more to him). He tries to hide from Jasmine the truth of his low-rank identity, though he does eventually recognize the need to tell her the truth.

Jasmine: surprisingly untraumatized (mostly just a healthy assertive), considering what she’s been through (dead mother, parentified child of a nice but absent-minded father who, judging from his looks, is closely related to Maurice; isolated from peers and almost everyone but her pet. I mean, there MUST be servants in the palace, but all you ever see are the guards...) She recognizes when people are treating her unfairly and says so, which makes her unusual among Disney heroes and heroines!

Simba (father died, was told it was his fault, was forced to leave home, almost died in the wilderness, subsequently raised by a couple of irresponsible weirdos): Flight. Literally runs away from his problems instead of facing them. Keeps himself busy with Timon and Pumbaa in order to occupy his mind.

Pocahontas: Non-traumatized! (Dead mother, but strong emotional connection with father and strong emotional support system in her community. Not to mention a maternal figure in the shape of a talking tree in whom she can confide.) DOES feel different from everyone else in her community, though. (Are you sensing a theme?)

John Smith (father died when Smith was 16, he left home, went to sea, served as a mercenary, engaged in piracy, fought the Ottomans): Flight. Constantly on the move: seeing new places, meeting new people, and killing them. Overachiever. Can’t sit still in England. However, he does have some healthy assertive skills and is able to stand up to people in power.

Quasimodo (holy emotional abuse, Batman!): Freeze. Taught that the outside world is cruel and wicked and that he can only be safe inside the cathedral. Daydreams to the point where he almost believes the gargoyles come alive and talk to him. Manages to overcome his Freeze instincts to save Esmerelda.

Esmerelda: Not traumatized, despite apparent lack of living parents and her position as an oppressed social minority. Probably the result of loving parenting while they were alive and strong community support from the rest of the Roma of Paris. Another heroine with healthy assertive traits!

Phoebus: Not apparently currently suffering from traumatic stress (though may have had periods of it in the past: he’s a crusader, after all). Surprisingly well-adjusted.

Hercules (kidnapped at a very young age and taken away from a one life to be placed in another, ENTIRELY different life. Despite strong emotional support from adoptive parents, has been rejected and bullied by his community. Feels he is entirely different from everybody else [I mean, he kind of is]): Flight. Yes, that’s right, flight, not fight. Hercules may be a “fighter” but he is a SUPER non-aggressive guy. Gentleness embodied. Feels he has to achieve something huge in order to be worthy of love and affection from the world (and especially from his divine father, who has literally told him that he has to earn his way back to Olypus by becoming a True Hero). Tendency toward despair when the people whose love and affection he thought he had (Phil and Megara) abandon and betray him. Eventually earns everybody’s love and affection--which is not the greatest lesson ever. Shouldn’t Disney be teaching us that we deserve love even if we never become heroes?

Megara (super traumatic history): Fawn-Fight. Puts the good of the people she loves WAY before her own, to an unhealthy level (sacrifices her own soul in order to save a man, who then abandons her). Seems sarcastic and rough, but heart of gold underneath. Acts like she’s superior, but actually feels enormous guilt and shame, with low self-esteem. Won’t say she’s in love.

Mulan (inconsistent expectations from her family and community. Sometimes her family supports who she is, defends her, and puts up with her unusual behavior; at other times they join with her community in criticizing her [lightly if frequently]. They apparently did not teach her society’s gender roles but then expects her to abide by them in public): she feels entirely different from everybody else and that she has to prove herself. Doesn’t know who she is inside. CANNOT behave the way she has been taught she should; is clearly triggered by a criticism from her father. Flight. Seems almost hyperactive, can’t keep silent when her society tells her she should. Driven to act and to succeed in order to prove her worth and bring honor to her family. Again, EARNS everybody’s love and respect in the end.

Shang: Possible inferiority issues from his relationship with her father. Not enough data.

Mushu (constant criticism; scapegoated by the ancestors): Flight. Has channeled this coping mechanism into ADHD (and humor). Feels the need to prove he is worthy of his spot (I mean, the ancestors TOLD him he did...)

Tarzan (storm and fire killed everyone around him in his infancy; parents had to resettle entirely alone in an alien land; parents were brutally killed right in front of him; he was nearly killed and eaten twice by a leopard; adopted by nonhuman animals; rejected by father figure and much of his nonhuman community): Realistically, I WOULD say that Tarzan should not be able to learn to SPEAK, since he doesn’t appear to have acquired language until his mid to late twenties. However, the film makes clear that the gorillas have a complex spoken language that can convey complicated thoughts like, “Jane will stay with Tarzan”. Feels entirely different from the rest of his community (he is). Scapegoated and constantly criticized for being different. I genuinely don’t know what his style is. lol

The elephant in tarzan: It’s been too long since I’ve seen this film, somebody do this one lol

Cuzco (dead parents, running an empire in his early twenties, nobody has apparently ever taught him limits, appears to have a very emotionally isolated life): Fawn-Fight. Extremely narcissistic, though his character development reveals that he does have a conscience underneath there somewhere. Charming but highly self-centered. Good with words and fast-talking, so may be Flight or gifted. Behavior improves quickly and immensely when provided with the emotional support (and healthy boundaries) of an ersatz family.

Lilo (loss of both parents; being parented by a highly stressed and very young adult who is struggling with poverty and her own trauma): Flight. Gifted, imaginative, ADHD, constantly into everything, constantly in trouble. Sometimes slides into Fight with defiant behavior.

Nani (loss of parents, pressure of having to parent her little sister and provide income for both of them at a very young age): Fight. Her temper gets the better of her when she’s upset, but she’s really trying.

Marlin (loss of his wife and all his children but one): Freeze. Constantly hiding from the perceived dangers of the world and trying to teach his son to do the same. Very nurturing of his child, despite his difficulty overcoming his own trauma. Considering he is a Freeze type, going on a big journey to save his son demonstrates ENORMOUS bravery.

Dori (???): Flight-Freeze. ADHD, constantly on the move, can’t sit still, just keeps swimming, just keeps swimming, swimming, swimming. I include Freeze because her difficulties with her memories may be a dissociative effect of trauma, and dissociation falls under Freeze.

Tiana (loss of beloved father, poverty, traumatizing lifelong experience of systemic racism, somewhat ameliorated by loving and supportive mother): Flight. The classic driven, achievement-obsessed workaholic. Always seems to only be halfway there. Fate helps her overcome these tendencies by forcing her to fail in her quest to become human again (and therefore to open her restaurant), though she actually does succeed soon after anyway. Actually, DID she overcome these tendencies? Like, she toned it down enough to maintain an apparently lasting romantic relationship, but she might still be a workaholic...

Naveen (highly critical parents): Flight. Constantly traveling care-for-nothing that can’t seem to stick to anything. Deep down has low self-esteem about his lack of achievement and how he can’t seem to please his parents. Demonstrates some symptoms of ADD or ADHD. Tiana and Naveen demonstrate how “Flight” behaviors can results in two very different character types!

Rapunzel (holy shit: kidnapped in infancy and raised by a woman who is demonstrably emotionally abusive and negligent and literally is only keeping her alive for her hair. Imprisoned in a tower almost entirely without company her ENTIRE LIFE. Demonstrates painful mood swings between delight and horrific guilt when she finally escapes for the first time. I seriously wonder how long her mental recovery took after Mother Gothel’s death...): Flight-Fawn. Overachiever, constantly doing EVERYTHING, EXTREMELY QUICKLY (cleans the entire place top-to-bottom between 7:00 and 7:15 AM). Literally runs away. Makes friends immediately with almost everybody she meets, including a gang of hardened, violent criminals. Wants desperately to be loved, but believes very quickly that Eugene doesn’t like her after all and has abandoned her. Note that it is not Rapunzel that kills Mother Gothel but Pascal. Rapunzel is so emotionally traumatized that she probably could never bring herself to “betray” Gothel in any real way.

Eugene Fitzherbert (orphaned; raised in an institutional setting, which is notoriously traumatizing. Poverty, social rejection): Flight. Channels his immense energy into complicated and daring heists. Adrenaline junkie. He thinks he wants to rest on a deserted island with an enormous pile of money, but I can guarantee that he would get antsy after a week (at most) and go back to his life of crime in order to distract himself from his pain.

Merida (was in a life-endangering encounter with a bear as a young child; her father was maimed. Has emotional support from her father, but her mother--primary caregiver, especially of a daughter--is highly critical): Flight. Tons of energy, adrenaline junkie, climbs a frickin WATERFALL, overachiever in her chosen hobbies. Greatly dislikes quiet pursuits like embroidery, possibly because they leave too much time for contemplation, and she needs more distraction.

Elsa (almost killed her beloved younger sister by accident, treated by her parents as dangerous and frightening, almost entirely isolated for most of her life): Freeze (HAHA) and Flight. Has been taught to retreat alone from a world that will reject her. Experiences enormous shame and guilt for herself, her gifts, and how dangerous she can be. Classic perfectionist. Attempts to protect herself and others by shutting down all emotions. When she fails, she literally runs away to live entirely alone forever to escape the storm of the rest of the world, because the cold of isolation “never bothered her anyway” (an obvious lie she has taught herself). “Let It Go” sounds like an anthem of freedom, but Elsa is actually literally running from her problems and from any human connection.

Anna (almost died as a small child, which she doesn’t directly remember, but may still cause her traumatic reactions. her beloved older sister SUDDENLY refused even to SEE her, and her parents wouldn’t talk about it, so she probably felt in some obscure way that there was something wrong with HER,  that it was all her fault. Then isolated almost entirely in the palace, and certainly isolated from other children, followed by the death of her parents and the CONTINUED isolation from her sister and anybody other than servants): flight-fawn. she seems possibly a little ADD, a little hyperactive (rides her bike around the halls), impulsive. VERY friendly and sweet to almost everybody she meets, desperate to make friends. Dreams of being rescued through marriage to a prince that she loves at first sight. Desperate to be loved.

Moana: probably NOT traumatized, for the most part. She DOES feel entirely different from everybody else (”what is wrong with me?”) because her instinctive love of the ocean has been criticized and squelched by her father and her society. However, despite her father’s clear struggle with his own trauma from the survivor’s guilt of his best friend’s drowning, this is one of the healthier families/societies we see in Disney! The silence around the death of Chief Tui’s best friend is meant to be kind, but I think Tui probably needs to talk it out more, and while I understand why they didn’t tell Moana about it as a young child, I feel like she SHOULD have been told before her father’s reactions to her hurt her own self-image: he’s actually just projecting his own guilt onto the daughter who is so much like him. She is less traumatized than she might otherwise be because she has both her mother, and especially her grandmother, to confide in. If Moana has a trauma style, I would say it’s Flight: she’s an overachiever who is constantly rushing from one task, one way to help, to another. In a deleted song, she also talks about walking around the island so much that she knows exactly how many steps it is to the ocean. She always wants to get away. All of this is classic Flight. Chief Tui is Fight. he’s not aggressive, but he IS controlling.

Maui (Most of the trauma in this film comes from Maui. he was abandoned as a baby, and probably almost died. grew up with the knowledge that he was not wanted by his parents. grew up away from human society): Flight-Fawn. Has spent the rest of his life trying to earn acceptance, love, and gratitude from humans. Constantly does crazy and death-defying tasks to try to win them over., but It never brings him true fulfillment. He clearly DESPERATELY wants to be recognized, celebrated, and loved for his achievements and his gifts, which makes him into a brash show-off.

[eledritch]

milestone prompt!! sheith where they try ridiculous things with shiro's new arm (sex related or otherwise). bonus points for silly/awkward sexytimes. extra super bonus points if you wanna throw some galra keith in there too.

wow thank you so much for this...i had a lot of fun with it and while there isn’t any galra keith, there is a lot of Shiro In Love which i figured you might also like. 

without further ado, here is a silly fic of shiro and keith doing silly things with shiro’s hand. partly based off of this post by @goghbach & this ask I received awhile back. it’s (mostly) SFW~

Follower Milestone Prompt #1: Getting Handsy

read it on ao3

“It’s pretty big,” Keith says, inspecting the new arm critically.

Shiro coughs. The glint in Keith’s eye is making him nervous. “Yeah, I guess so…”

“I could probably sit on it,” Keith continues.

Shiro chokes on his own spit. “Nngh?” he says, eloquently.

Keith looks up, nonplussed. “You know,” he explains, “like, I could sit on it, and you could punch really hard and make it fly across the room like a rocket launcher.”

They’re not on the same page, here, and Shiro honestly isn’t sure if Keith’s idea is better or worse than his. “I don’t even know if the neural connection extends that far,” he protests weakly.

“Then we should try it,” Keith declares. “What could go wrong?”

“I mean...a lot,” Shiro points out. “A lot could, potentially, go wrong.”

Keith gives him a flat look. “You encouraged me to drive my hoverbike off a cliff when I was a teenager, Shiro. How is this less dangerous?”

“Point taken.” Shiro sighs. “Alright, well, I mean...is this room big enough?” They’re standing in an empty aircraft hangar, where they were supposed to be inspecting it as a new hangar for the Lions. As usual when they’re with each other, they got distracted.

“We should probably go outside,” Keith says.

“Where everyone can see us?”

Keith rolls his eyes. “Alright, fine. The hangar is probably big enough.”

“It’s still not very safe,” Shiro hedges.

Keith sighs, stalks over to a workbench, and picks up an abandoned pair of plastic safety goggles. He slaps them on and raises an eyebrow. “Safety,” he says.

“Fine,” Shiro relents.

Keith grins and walks back over with a spring in his step. “Can you put your arm down?”

“Down…? Oh.” Keith is slinging a leg over Shiro’s floating forearm. Shiro really hates that the arm is, in fact, big enough for Keith to straddle it somewhat comfortably. It looks a little awkward, but Keith determinedly hunches over and peers at Shiro over his shoulder.

“Okay, see, this is cool,” Keith says. “Now, you try.”

Shiro wavers. “This is still a terrible idea,” he says, because if Keith gets hurt at least then Shiro can say I told you so, and then settles back into a defensive stance, focusing on powering up the socket in a slowly growing warning whir of sound. He whips his arm back, impressed Keith manages to stay on, then with gritted teeth releases all of the stored up energy in a deafening blast of blue electricity.

It’s amazing.

Keith zooms across the hangar at a speed previously unknown to mankind, lightning arcing through the air behind him. He looks like a witch on a broomstick, if the witch was dressed in a Garrison officer’s uniform and the broomstick was a military grade prosthetic arm that never needed to be as big as it is. But god, is Shiro glad it’s as big as it is.

Keith leaves a trail of destruction in his wake, and it’s probably a good thing there’s not much in the hangar, because dust billows outwards and upwards, an entire table goes flying through the air and smashes into smithereens against the opposite wall, and the unlucky metal husk of a fighter jet crumples pathetically at the blast wave’s impact.

Thankfully, Shiro calculated right, and the energy runs out before Keith reaches the opposite wall. By the time he goes tumbling off with a shout, the arm is traveling at a nonlethal velocity. As it is, Keith lands hard, and Shiro is about to yank the arm back to him and jog over...but it’s a long distance, at least a hundred yards, and he’s got a better idea.

Or worse idea.

The metal fingers grab Keith by the collar of his uniform like an oversized kitten, and Keith only has time to yelp, “Shiro, what – !” before Shiro sends the arm hurtling back towards him like a boomerang, or a very large, fairly deadly elastic band. Keith screeches and clings on for dear life, but Shiro is pretty sure he’s having fun. This is confirmed when a heavy bundle of shocked Keith careens into Shiro’s arms, or rather, arm, sending them both staggering and then falling backwards onto the ground, with Keith on Shiro’s chest.

“Holy shit,” Keith wheezes. His hair is sticking up and his eyes are wide with a delight Shiro hasn’t seen in him for a long, long time. “That...was…”

“Fucking awesome?” Shiro finishes, heart pounding with excess adrenaline as the arm’s system cools down.

Keith snorts, and then dissolves into full-blown giggles, collapsing onto Shiro and burying his face in Shiro’s jacket. “Fucking awesome,” he agrees. “Oh my god. We’re officers, Shiro.”

“We’re also having fun,” Shiro says, and the prosthetic pets Keith’s hair fondly. Keith leans into it, and shoots him a dopey smile. Shiro smiles back, and revels in the familiar warmth of Keith over him, chin resting against Shiro’s chest.

“We should go outside now and do it again,” Keith muses after a long and wonderful moment.

“Yes,” Shiro says with feeling, and helps him to his feet.

*

Iverson gives them an earful later when they show up twenty minutes late to their night meeting, covered in red desert dust and fresh bruises, but it’s totally worth it for the sound of Keith’s laughter, echoing in Shiro’s head like his favorite song long after it’s gone.

*

The next night, they end up in the desert again, at the edge of a familiar cliff.

So many things have changed, but it’s good to know that this, at least, has stayed the same.

“Are you sure about this?” Shiro asks for the thousandth time.

“Yes,” Keith says without hesitation. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Shiro sighs, and tries to stop himself from gripping the handlebars too hard as Keith accelerates towards the cliff. He knows, if they were caught out here, people wouldn’t understand why they’re putting themselves in danger to have fun. But they also wouldn’t understand what it’s like to live every day on the edge of danger, with the threat of it looming over your head at every waking moment.

It’s difficult to transition from soldier to civilian, even more difficult when you’ve been a soldier in space for years dealing with forces far beyond your control or understanding. They haven’t discussed it, but Shiro would bet anything Keith feels the same way – it’s unsettling to go from a hundred to zero overnight. Their expectation for danger is omnipresent, even if, for once, there is none. Safety has become strange.

So, this way, they’re choosing their own danger. Together.

Keith flies off the cliff’s edge, Shiro close behind. He brakes on the top of the cliff instead of following him over, and aims his hand for Keith before releasing it in the same thunderous crackle of noise as before. As if in reply, the clouded sky rumbles, and Shiro’s heart pounds in excitement. It’s the monsoon season, and the thought of a desert storm sends his arm flying faster, almost too fast when it connects with the bottom of Keith’s hoverbike and latches on.

He’s far away, but Shiro, muscle straining, sees the moment Keith’s hoverbike wins against gravity and lifts, swooping gracefully out of its tailspin downwards and back up towards the dark sky. Outlined against the faint moonlight, Keith throws his arms up with a resounding whoop of joy, some strange creature soaring through the night, pale blue lightning all around him.

Real lightning tears the sky open in the distance, over the silhouetted mesas and mountains, and the rain begins to fall. Shiro guides Keith down to the earth before following him over the cliff, with only one hand, and just a human one at that, to guide him. But then Keith shouts, “Shiro, your turn!” and waves Shiro’s hand at him with a blinding grin.

And how can Shiro say no to that?

The hand returns to him, shoving up under his hoverbike, and Shiro’s breath is stolen by the sudden jolt and gain in altitude, wind whipping past him, rain splattering over his worn leather jacket as the storm picks up. He looks down at Keith, staring up at him with wide eyes full of lightning, and just like that his breath is stolen again.

It has nothing to do with the wind.

*

“Keith, you should really sit up,” Shiro says, studying him across the desk, lips pursed. Keith is hunched over his paperwork like a particularly pouty gargoyle, and glares at Shiro like one, too.

“Shiro,” he grits out, “now is really not the time for your nagging.”

Shiro lifts his hands in surrender. “Not nagging! Just...observing. Helpfully. You’re gonna get back problems with that posture.”

Keith grumbles something under his breath, and stretches, his spine popping audibly. They wince in unison. “Think I already have them,” Keith admits. “I don’t even remember the last time my back was this knotted up. It wasn’t even this bad after I slept in the Black Lion’s cockpit for a week straight.”

Shiro’s jaw clenches. “You did what?”

Keith coughs. “Nevermind. My back does hurt. So does my head. But this stupid paperwork has to get done; I’m not gonna leave an entire base without clearance for rations just because I need a massage or something.”

Shiro perks up. “A massage?” he says.

Oblivious, Keith continues, “Yes, but the Garrison isn’t exactly crawling with masseuses, and even if it was you know I’m not the best with strangers touching me, and –”

“What about if I use this?” Shiro’s right hand pops up helpfully, fingers wiggling.

Keith turns red and his jaw drops. “Wow,” he says. “You really just offered to give me a massage with your magical floating hand?”

“I’m still offering,” Shiro says gently, even as his hand creeps across the table on two fingers, mimicking walking. “We can both keep doing our paperwork, and you can avoid a slipped disc.”

“That’s creepy,” Keith informs him, watching the crawling hand, but his expression is thoughtful. “Yeah. Okay. You can try it. But if it’s too distracting…”

Keith is always distracting on some level, but Shiro doesn’t have the heart to tell him that.

When the hand touches Keith’s back, Keith sighs at the contact, scooting forward in his chair to give Shiro space to work. He starts a new page of work as Shiro stretches the fingers over his shoulder blades, focusing on feeling for the tense muscles, digging in when he finds them and working his thumb and forefinger into the knotted tissue. Keith sighs again, louder and more content, and for a second he glances up, half-lidded eyes meeting Shiro’s.

Thank you, Keith mouths, and quietly goes back to work, rolling his shoulders into Shiro’s touch.

Shiro may have accidentally given a few bases triple the rations they needed, but frankly it is unrealistic to expect him to do math when he can feel Keith’s rippling muscle under his fingertips.

*

“I mean, I want you to try it, at least,” Keith says stubbornly, sitting up on his elbows and peering at Shiro’s lubed up fingers. “I’m okay with it, really.”

Shiro puts his head in his other, non-lube-covered hand. “These are like, twice the size of my normal fingers,” he groans. “I don’t think…”

Keith shrugs. “So it’s just like starting with two. That’s fine. We’ve done that.”

“You could just fuck me instead?” Shiro suggests hopefully.

Keith considers it for half a second, then sighs. “I’ve already done that, like, every time since we got back to Earth. You can’t run from this problem forever, Shiro.” Read: oh my god, please just fuck me, we both know I’m going through withdrawal.

“It’s not a problem! I can use my left hand –”

Keith’s glare silences him, and he winces. Yeah, fair point. He’s really awful at using his left hand for, uh...this. Ambidexterity has its limits. “You could, and I could use my own hands, but I’m asking you to try with this one, Shiro. Please.”

“Okay,” Shiro finally says, chewing his lip. “If you’re sure.”

He’s very, very careful. Keith’s face still scrunches up, and his stomach flips. Shiro starts to pull it out, and Keith grabs his wrist instantly, shaking his head. “Uh-uh,” Keith grunts, and oh, his voice is uneven already. Shiro presses into him a little harder, and Keith’s mouth falls open in a sound he would probably call embarrassing but which Shiro can only describe as hot.

Shiro curls the thick metal finger and Keith whines.

“Huh,” Shiro whispers. “That’s new.”

“Not a word,” Keith warns, though it falls a little flat when he’s arching up into Shiro’s touch and all but verbally begging for more. Shiro, suddenly, wants to make him beg, and shifts over him, forcing Keith’s legs open wider. He pours more lube over his fingers, trying to ease in a second, and Keith pants, open-mouthed. He’s so hard, and Shiro wants to make him come so, so badly.

He leans down, emboldened by Keith’s honest pleasure, and lets his teeth graze the flushed shell of Keith’s ear. “I’m not gonna fuck you,” Shiro tells him, soft and private. “I think I’m just gonna use my fingers tonight, baby. What do you think?”

Keith shudders without an ounce of protest and whispers, “Yes,” squirming under him.

“Yes, what?” Shiro needles, letting the second finger rub and press, but not breach.

Keith shakes his head. “You’re a menace,” he hisses, gritting his teeth.

Shiro wonders if he can get those teeth to sharpen into fangs, again. Preferably in a kinder way than a sword fight. Or maybe in a different sort of sword fight.

Another day, Takashi. They have time now, for that...for rain checks and other days. The thought is almost unbelievable. Almost. It’s easier to believe they made it this far when he’s looking at Keith. Everything is easier when he’s looking at Keith.

“I’m also your boyfriend, lucky you,” Shiro chuckles, still braced over him, still teasing, shoving aside the tangled emotion.

“I am lucky,” Keith says then, earnestly, and Shiro falters, emotion rushing right back to him faster than the rocketing arm, his elbow almost giving out from under him where he’s braced over Keith on the bed.

“Oh,” Shiro says.

Keith’s eyebrows draw together. “Oh?”

“I think I changed my mind,” Shiro says breathlessly, “because I need to be inside of you, like, yesterday.”

“Oh,” Keith says, happily, and kisses him in enthusiastic agreement.

*

Shiro wakes up with Keith wrapped around his arm like a sexy octopus.

No, nope, bad thought. Keith is not an octopus. Keith is a Keith, and Shiro loves him very much.

God, Shiro’s coffee dependence has hit him full force since their return to Earth and his body’s rediscovery of the dual blessing and curse of caffeine. Groggily, he tries to sit up, but freezes halfway – if he moves, he’ll wake up Keith. Keith is the Universe’s lightest sleeper, other than Shiro, and he needs all the rest he can get these days.

Also, after last night.

Carefully, he tries to extricate Keith’s arms from around his arm, but it’s a futile mission, and when Keith’s nose wrinkles and his fingers twitch, Shiro backs off. Hm. Well...he doesn’t really need his right arm. Right? He has lots of meetings today, but those don’t require having two arms.

Currently, Keith requires the arm a lot more. A lot more. It definitely has nothing to do with how appallingly adorable Keith looks curled up against it, cheek smushed against the warm metal, ruffled hair soft against Shiro’s finger sensors when they curl through it…

Come to think of it, he might as well test this thing’s control radius. He latches onto the solid excuse, kisses Keith on the head, and gets ready for the day, petting Keith’s hair from the other room while he makes a pot of coffee.

When he’s putting on his shoes, he freezes at the sudden and unmistakable sensation of someone kissing his palm, then nuzzling into it, followed by the soft vibrations of continuing snores.

Shiro muffles his garbled sound into his palm. Keith. Just kissed. His hand. In his sleep.

Shiro thinks he might cry. This is the best day of his life.

Iverson gives him an earful again, but Shiro’s too busy savoring the sensation of Keith’s soft, warm face cradled in his hand half a mile away to hear a single word.