#my coworkers have been amazed by my patience with the machines at work not working properly and im starting to wonder if it’s

[wintersoldeer]

isn’t it cool how cars have doors that lock automatically! you don’t have to worry about locking the car, the car does it for you!

::))

for context: my car is from 1997 and the doors Should Not get locked without the key i n t h e l o c k

[dozenssporks]

(via @terukitime)

*vash murmuring to the photocopier and printers while his coworkers peek around the corner*

vash: okay don't make that sound have some patience the jam is nearly cleared and you'll be back on the job . . . this one's still frozen huh just hang in there I'll clear the printing queue and see if you feel better don't worry bud I've got this

coworker #1, whispering: this is the softest thing ever

coworker #2: it's like a horse girl movie

vash: hey now don't take that toner with me young lady! Hehe, toner . . . the copy machine by accounting is still down and they asked first so you have to wait your turn. Your sister here can handle things for now so just enjoy a break

coworker #3: I want someone in my life who talks to me like vash talks to office equipment. Tim, are you crying?

coworker #1, wiping tears: how can he be so kind working in this hell-scape? He makes me want to do better.

vash: yes yes I know you want attention I'll get a fresh ream of paper in a sec you're always such a hard worker I appreciate you. but I don't like that grinding sound, you're overdoing it. let's try a quick restart to help you shake out of it.

coworker #4: hi, what's going--oh! vash is fixing the printers again? why didn't anyone call me! I really need this today.

coworker #1: tough day? wanna talk about it over some tea after this? I just bought a new blend to try.

coworker #4: talk? tea? I'm sorry, but you are Tim, aren't you? you slapped my hand when I tried to borrow a pen and now we're having tea?

coworker #1: yeah I'm sorry about that. vash said something the other day about how the little things are important, good or bad, and I realized I was doing a lot of bad little things and thinking it was okay because they were 'just' little. I switched from coffee to tea and I'm trying to do better.

coworker #4: tim, I think that's amazing of you! have you reconsidered your stance on hugging?

coworker #1: I'm still trying to figure out if I've been refusing as a way of distancing myself or if I just don't like people touching me, so the stance is currently unchanged, sorry

coworker #4: don't you apologize! handshake?

coworker #1: that I can do!

vash: now that is a beautiful test page! mmhm, nice clear lettering and no streaks! I'll take this over to your sister and see if she can do a copy to match--and perfect! Thank you, girls, your paper trays are full and you're running like a dream. Okey dokey we'll get these papers to the recycle bin and I'll see you later, ladies. Keep up the good work!

vash, pausing to check the time on his phone: yeep! I'm gonna be late for that meeting!

cowoker #1, stepping out from behind the corner: taking those to the recycle bin? I can grab that for you!

vash: thanks!

coworker #1: not at all, it's the least I can do!

vash, clearly not getting it: um okay. seeya!

coworker #3: how does he run so fast

coworker #2: how does he make those noises--oh no I think he's gonna wipe out when he turns the corner!

coworker #3: no, he made it! His arms are pinwheeling but he made it!

coworkers #1, #2, and #4: nice!

coworker #4: alright everybody let's knock out the rest of this day and go home on time!

*everyone heads back to their desks but coworker #1 stays behind for a moment and goes over to the photocopier, glancing furtively around*

coworker #1: um, sorry I kicked you last week when the paper jammed. It wasn't your fault and I shouldn't take out my anger on innocent objects. it reinforces my habit of expressing anger with physical violence. Thanks for your hard work

*coworker #1 glances around again to make sure he's alone and then gives the photocopier a quick pat before heading to the kitchen to make some tea*

[younggwingss]

bake me a cake

tbz sns au

word count: 858

warnings: food, fuck is said like twice

The morning air was crisp and chilly; the breeze raising goosebumps on Sunwoo’s skin. Jogging to get away from the cold, he reached the door of the bakery and swung it open. “Morning y/n!” he shouted, closing the door behind him to keep the warm air inside. “Y/n? Where are you?” He moved further into the shop and peered over the counter. No y/n. Just some… wait is that flour on the floor?

Suddenly, a rather small figure danced her way out of the back door into the room, with a broom in her hands. Her earphones were on the verge of falling out of her ears due to her energetic (and awful) movements. Sunwoo stared in bewilderment at his coworker, who still hadn’t noticed his presence. Y/n was too immersed in SHINee’s ‘View’ to be paying attention to her surroundings.

This happened to be the cause of the next accident of the morning. Not noticing the empty bag of flour on the floor, she slipped and fell backwards, dropping the broom in the process. Y/n looked up and saw Sunwoo snorting and crying with laughter from the comedic scene in front of him.

Of course you had to see that” she huffed, standing up and dusting herself off. Y/n threw the broom at him told him to clean up the mess while she hid in the back room for a few minutes due to embarrassment. Y/n returned around 5 minutes later looking slightly less red in the face but still wearing a grumpy expression.

They got to business, cleaning the floor and surfaces and getting the displays and machines ready for the day’s work. The tables were all set, each with pink laminated menus and white serviettes. The two worked very swiftly in setting up, except when they played rock-paper-scissors to decide who cleaned the bathroom and who baked the morning batch of pastries. Let’s just say y/n cheered up after that game.

After an hour of setting up, Sunwoo switched the sign at the door to ‘open’ and returned to the counter to prepare for the first round of customers.

The pair worked well together. Over the next 40 minutes they greeted customers, baked, caught up with their regulars, baked some more, made a few coffees for frantic college students who woke up late, baked even more, and almost broke a china saucer.

Eventually, the morning rush slowed and y/n and Sunwoo were back to playing rock-paper-scissors and chopsticks to pass time. It was then that Sunwoo had his first (not so) brilliant idea.

“So y/n, we’ve not got any people to serve. We’ve both got hours until our first break. We’re both bored. I think it’s time you teach me how to use the coffee machine”. He explained, with a smug smile. Unfortunately, y/n’s face did not match his. Instead she wore a sort of disgusted face of horror which screamed ‘help me’ and ‘oh fuck’.

“Haha good joke Sunwoo!” She replied, avoiding eye contact like she was getting paid all of Jeff Bezos’ money to.

“Awe, come onnnn. I’ve been wanting to learn foreverrrrr. I’ll even do the dishes in my break!” He gave her a very persuasive puppy-eyes face and laid his head on her shoulder. “You know you love me. You’ll have to do it at some point.” Oh fuck, he had a point there. Might as well get it over and done with.

“Fine, I’ll teach you. But if this ends up like when you broke 12 mugs and the kettle in one week then you’re forever banned from using it”.

“DEAL!” he flicked her forehead and ran over to the coffee machine with a clean cup. She crossed her fingers in hope that nothing would break.

By 12pm, Sunwoo had mastered the coffee machine, with the sacrifice of another mug and y/n’s patience. The bakery was almost full but there was no current queue and so y/n sat back down to try one of Sunwoo’s coffees. Admittedly, it was pretty good but she wasn’t going to tell him that.

To thank his coworker, Sunwoo introduced her to his second (not so) brilliant idea of the day. “I see you’ve drunk all of my amazing, show-stopping, never been done before coffees.” He tried winking at her but it turned into more of what y/n would call a wonk. “Since you’ve been so kind to let me use the coffee machine to make myself unlimited coffees-“

“Wait, that’s not what it’s fo-“

“ANYWAYS. To repay you I’m doing you the honour of inviting you to come watch my football game this weekend. No need to thank me.” He gave her another ‘wonk’ and smiled cheekily.

“Sunwoo, that’s not a payback, you’ve still got to do the dishes. I would like to come though. To see the hot players, not for you” She placed down her cup and stood up awaiting the customers who were entering the bakery.

“Well that was just rude. And stupid. ‘Cause I’m the hottest player.” He stuck his tongue out and turned around to make another coffee.

Y/n rolled her eyes. She was working with a child.

8 ~ sunwoo’s (not so) brilliant idea

previous masterlist next

y/n x ???

tag list:

@givememunjang

[maxismatchccworld]

Patch Notes

PC: 1.71.86.1020 / Mac: 1.71.86.1220 Console: Version 1.38

Coming of Age at 21 in ‘21

As of February 4th, The Sims™ is officially 21 years old. To be quite honest with you all, I have a lot of feelings regarding that as not only it confirms that I'm getting older, but also it makes me think about everything that The Sims has meant to so many people over these past 21 years.

My own personal - professional - journey in The Sims started in 2010 and since then I have seen every pack, every feature, and every comment from our wonderful community. Most importantly I have made great friendships with coworkers (former and current) and I have enjoyed a lot of the content our community shares and talks about on a daily basis.

This year we have nine amazing creators from The Sims community sharing their talent with all of us in honor of this joyous occasion. As of today, you can see in your game 21 new creations present in your game, some in Build Mode and some in Create a Sim, designed by these members of our community. They are in both game areas with a Green Icon representing a present and they are tagged with the Special -> Birthday filter.

We have partnered with the wonderful

HeyHarrie, peachyfaerie, storylegacysims, peacemaker_ic, Luumia, icemunmun, grimcookies, FeralPoodles, andAHarris00Britney. They have created unique and fun items for everyone to enjoy, so we hope that you like them as much as we do.

Along with these items we have a number of fixes and tweaks that we managed to deliver in this update. So thanks as always for your patience and support in reporting and helping our Live Operations team review and set these fixes in motion.

On behalf of Maxis I want to wish everyone a Happy 21st, and remember that You Make The Sims!

Happy Simming,

-SimGuruRusskii

Bug Fixes Console

Fixed an issue in the control scheme screen - if you are not familiar with this screen, press L3 (Playstation 4) or LS (Xbox One) it’s awesome... anyway! The issue is that the screen did not display the “Edit Color” option when in Create a Sim. We also fixed an issue in which the options for the L1 (PlayStation 4) and LB (Xbox One) were not showing up on the same screen.

When randomizing Skin Tone colors, pressing the X Button (PlayStation 4) or the A Button (Xbox One) will select and apply the correct tone.

We have cleansed the Create a Sim of the “Play button” control option that would appear randomly in the dynamic controller layouts.

Made some alignments on the Main Menu Home and Packs tab as they were not looking quite right when Simmers switched to Mouse and Keyboard.

Sims 4

Fixed an issue in Create a Sim that did not allow Body presets to be present as an option for Children and Toddler Sims.

For Simmers that experience a Last UI Exception error in Create a Sim while selecting Skin Tones, the issue has been resolved.

The UI team has fixed a few imperfections in Create a Sim/Pet:

Gallery Notifications on the Main Menu needed to be more opaque as they were a bit unreadable and quite… ghostly. Good to know that was the resolve because this editor was second-guessing her contacts’ prescription for a while there.

As always this editor and the Localization team made some adjustments and perfected some of the text in-game across all packs and previous updates.

Pet breed’s thumbnails will no longer look disproportionate in the Coat Color/Pattern section in the case of Simmers that own Cats and Dogs.

Sims’ makeup sliders will no longer overlap with color swatches and highlighting color swatches will no longer make them look offset.

Fixed an issue in which the Skin Tones sliders didn’t appropriately hide when changing to other parts of the Sims to customize.

Saving customized color swatches will no longer create duplicates of the base color swatch used to create the custom color.

The Save button will no longer function inconsistently when utilizing the opacity sliders. Did it save? But did you save it? Did it actually save? But did it save?

Get to Work

We were contacted by the Aliens, and they have helped us reinstate their missing Skin Tone color in Create a Sim. Now all 8 Alien skin options are visible again.

Cats and Dogs

We did some maintenance on all Robot Vacuums so now they will actually clean up messes instead of just roaming around your Lot. Especially those created by Children and Toddlers - Big Yikes! Glad that the warranty was still in place though.

Seasons

Was your game save feeling the pressure to not continue with the Winterfest spirit? So were we. We have applied a fix that should help with the culling of extra Father Winters... affecting some saves. The Culling (it’s like The Happening, so something will happen… we hope) should start when loading into a Lot. Simmers with low-end machines and many, many Father Winters... in saves, may take some time (possibly hours… that is real-life hours, not Sim hours… just in case) for The Culling to complete. Afterward, Simmers should see an improvement in performance when playing these saves.

Eco Lifestyle

The “Store No More Home Fabricator” will now properly display the number of Bits and Pieces that are owned by Sims.

Nifty Knitting

Children will no longer look like they have put a leg through a rocking chair when reacting happily to rocking. Nothing to see here… nothing to see here folks.

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4: New Game Patch (February 25th, 2021)

There’s a new Sims 4 update available for PC/Mac and Consoles. 

 Remove all MODS and Custom Content before updating your game

PC: 1.71.86.1020 / Mac: 1.71.86.1220 Console: Version 1.38

As of February 4th, The Sims™ is officially 21 years old. To be quite honest with you all, I have a lot of feelings regarding that as not only it confirms that I’m getting older, but also it makes me think about everything that The Sims has meant to so many people over these past 21 years.

My own personal – professional – journey in The Sims started in 2010 and since then I have seen every pack, every feature, and every comment from our wonderful community. Most importantly I have made great friendships with coworkers (former and current) and I have enjoyed a lot of the content our community shares and talks about on a daily basis.

This year we have nine amazing creators from The Sims community sharing their talent with all of us in honor of this joyous occasion. As of today, you can see in your game 21 new creations present in your game, some in Build Mode and some in Create a Sim, designed by these members of our community. They are in both game areas with a Green Icon representing a present and they are tagged with the Special -> Birthday filter.

We have partnered with the wonderful HeyHarrie, peachyfaerie, storylegacysims, peacemaker_ic, Luumia, icemunmun, grimcookies, FeralPoodles, and AHarris00Britney. They have created unique and fun items for everyone to enjoy, so we hope that you like them as much as we do.

Along with these items we have a number of fixes and tweaks that we managed to deliver in this update. So thanks as always for your patience and support in reporting and helping our Live Operations team review and set these fixes in motion.

On behalf of Maxis I want to wish everyone a Happy 21st, and remember that You Make The Sims!

Happy Simming,

-SimGuruRusskii

Bug Fixes

Console

Fixed an issue in the control scheme screen – if you are not familiar with this screen, press L3 (Playstation 4) or LS (Xbox One) it’s awesome… anyway! The issue is that the screen did not display the “Edit Color” option when in Create a Sim. We also fixed an issue in which the options for the L1 (PlayStation 4) and LB (Xbox One) were not showing up on the same screen.

When randomizing Skin Tone colors, pressing the X Button (PlayStation 4) or the A Button (Xbox One) will select and apply the correct tone.

We have cleansed the Create a Sim of the “Play button” control option that would appear randomly in the dynamic controller layouts.

Made some alignments on the Main Menu Home and Packs tab as they were not looking quite right when Simmers switched to Mouse and Keyboard.

Sims 4

Fixed an issue in Create a Sim that did not allow Body presets to be present as an option for Children and Toddler Sims.

For Simmers that experience a Last UI Exception error in Create a Sim while selecting Skin Tones, the issue has been resolved.

The UI team has fixed a few imperfections in Create a Sim/Pet:

Gallery Notifications on the Main Menu needed to be more opaque as they were a bit unreadable and quite… ghostly. Good to know that was the resolve because this editor was second-guessing her contacts’ prescription for a while there.

As always this editor and the Localization team made some adjustments and perfected some of the text in-game across all packs and previous updates.

Pet breed’s thumbnails will no longer look disproportionate in the Coat Color/Pattern section in the case of Simmers that own Cats and Dogs.

Sims’ makeup sliders will no longer overlap with color swatches and highlighting color swatches will no longer make them look offset.

Fixed an issue in which the Skin Tones sliders didn’t appropriately hide when changing to other parts of the Sims to customize.

Saving customized color swatches will no longer create duplicates of the base color swatch used to create the custom color.

The Save button will no longer function inconsistently when utilizing the opacity sliders. Did it save? But did you save it? Did it actually save? But did it save?

Get to Work

We were contacted by the Aliens, and they have helped us reinstate their missing Skin Tone color in Create a Sim. Now all 8 Alien skin options are visible again.

Cats and Dogs

We did some maintenance on all Robot Vacuums so now they will actually clean up messes instead of just roaming around your Lot. Especially those created by Children and Toddlers – Big Yikes! Glad that the warranty was still in place though.

Seasons

Was your game save feeling the pressure to not continue with the Winterfest spirit? So were we. We have applied a fix that should help with the culling of extra Father Winters… affecting some saves. The Culling (it’s like The Happening, so something will happen… we hope) should start when loading into a Lot. Simmers with low-end machines and many, many Father Winters… in saves, may take some time (possibly hours… that is real-life hours, not Sim hours… just in case) for The Culling to complete. Afterward, Simmers should see an improvement in performance when playing these saves.

Eco Lifestyle

The “Store No More Home Fabricator” will now properly display the number of Bits and Pieces that are owned by Sims.

Nifty Knitting

Children will no longer look like they have put a leg through a rocking chair when reacting happily to rocking. Nothing to see here… nothing to see here folks.

[love-and-monsters]

Talsim pt. 3

Told you I’d be back with something else today! Enjoy another installment in my Fae soulmate series.

Male Fae X Female reader, 4452 words

Your stomach growled and you hunched further in on yourself. The ship rocked in the storm and salt water splashed overboard, spraying you. You couldn’t stay under the deck any longer, though. Not where the body of your sister rotted. Not where rats infested the body of your mother. Your father lived, but barely, sick as he was.

A chill wracked your body and you tried not to cry. The food was gone. Once your father had fallen sick, the ship had drifted off course and in the weeks spent trying to prevent your family from dying, the food had been gradually eaten away.

The disease that had swept through the ship had killed most people. You were next, you were certain. Already, you could feel the chill and hot flashes that signaled the disease’s beginning. Not that it mattered. Most of the crew was gone. The ship would not make it to land.

You gave a hacking, rasping cough as another wave of saltwater fell over you. It was only a matter of time, of waiting. Would the ocean or the sickness claim you first? Or would it be starvation and lack of water? Despair flooded you and you began to sob.

Your eyes snapped open and you sat up, disoriented. Talsim had gathered most of the blankets around him so you were shivering in the cool night air. The phantom sensations of the dream washed over you, the fever and rocking of the storm. It had been a dream, but it had seemed so real. So awfully vivid. You had known the dead people in your dream, known them intimately.

Tears welled up again and you tried to choke them back. Talsim groaned and twitched. “Mm. What… What’s going on?” He tried to squirm out from under the covers and almost fell out of bed; it was a little small for two people.

“Nothing.” Your voice was watery. You cleared your throat. A mild ache started around your temples. “Bad dream.”

Talsim rolled over, tucking a pillow under his chin. “What kind of dream?”

“I was on a boat. It was drifting in the ocean. There were other people who were sick and I was sick too. I thought I was going to die.” The throbbing in your temples got worse and you winced.

Talsim reached up and tugged on your shoulder. “Lie down.”

You sank back into bed. Talsim rubbed a thumb over your temple. “How’s the headache?” he asked.

“How did you know I had a headache?” you asked.

“That wasn’t just a nightmare. It was a memory. You always get achy after you have one of those dreams.” His thumb moved in gentle circles on your temple. The pain eased.

“That ship, my family… that was real?” Your voice broke on the last word. Talsim nodded. “Did I die?”

“No. That was… your fifth life. You’d just turned twenty. I found you less than a day later. You were sick already at that point, and everyone else was dead or close to death. I took you back to land and found a healer. You pulled through.”

“Okay.” You sagged against him.

“Does your head feel better?” he asked. You nodded. “Good. Now go back to sleep.” He settled back into bed and closed his eyes.

Sleep evaded you. It was hard to keep your eyes closed when images of your father’s sunken face kept rising into your mind. Eventually, you gave up on sleeping entirely and wandered downstairs to get something to eat.

When the sun started to rise, Talsim walked into the kitchen. “Did you sleep?” he asked.

“No. Couldn’t sleep,” you said. “And I have work in less than an hour, so might as well get a jump on the day.”

Talsim pulled a face. “Ew. Work.” He opened the fridge and poked around inside. “Are you sure you don’t want to call out sick?”

“No. I’m not sick.”

“You will be.” He pulled out a carton of yogurt and closed the fridge. “Those dreams usually happen when another bout of memories is going to come on.”

“I haven’t had one of those headaches in over a week. And the last one wasn’t that bad. And I can’t afford to miss work again.”

Talsim frowned, but he ate his yogurt in silence. You gathered up your belongings and headed toward the door. “I’ll see you later,” you said. Talsim waved and you headed out the door.

The coffee shop you worked at was only a couple of blocks from your house and it was warm enough that walking was a good enough way to get there.

You walked into the coffee shop and clocked in. There was a familiar routine to your work that you rapidly sank into.

Until, of course, Talsim strolled in the door.

You nearly dropped the cup of coffee you were making. Talsim grinned at you and strolled over.

“Hi, sweetness,” he purred. “Thought I’d pop by for a visit. How are you feeling?”

“Fine. I’m not supposed to talk at work, though,” you said. Talsim pouted. “Sorry. I’ll get in trouble.”

Talsim sighed. “All right. Get me a large cappuccino, then.” He passed you a few bills. You wondered where he’d managed to get the money. Did he have some kind of job you didn’t know about? You couldn’t imagine he’d have the patience.

You handed over the cappuccino a few minutes later and Talsim took a sip. He pulled a small face. “You didn’t put a lot of care in this,” he said.

“We’re not paid for passion, we’re paid for getting it done quick,” you said. Talsim snorted, a faint smile drawing across his face. He gave you a small wave and a generous tip, then strode over to a table near the large front window of the store.

You kept an eye on him as you continued your work. He stayed at the table even after he’d finished his coffee, scrolling absently through his phone. A few people stopped by and struck up a conversation with him, but they never stayed for long.

Toward the last hour of your shift, you started to feel uncomfortable. The muscles along the back of your neck kept tensing and aching. Gradually, the pain spread along your temples. It felt like your head was being squeezed by an industrial machine. You sagged over the front counter. Talsim tilted his head, trying to catch your eye. Concern was clear on his features.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” you muttered to a coworker, and headed into the back of the shop.

The bathroom door clicked shut and the pain spiked to crushing levels. You sagged to the ground.

There was a rushing noise and Talsim was there, crouching in front of you. “Headache?” he asked. You nodded. “Lie down, then.”

He guided your head back onto his lap, kneading at your temples. The pain eased, but the memories surging through your mind distracted you. Your body twisted as it tried to keep up with the sensory input. Talsim murmured soothingly.

“Shh. It’ll be all right. Breathe through it. Just breathe.” It was a struggle to gulp air enough for your screaming lungs. “That’s it. Good, good. Keep breathing. Just like that.”

Tears streamed down your face. You felt overwhelmed, unable to keep up with your feelings, with your head. Talsim kept you still, rubbing out the tension that kept gathering at your temples.

Gradually, bit by bit, the tension faded. You curled up in Talsim’s lap, feeling spent. He stroked your sweaty forehead. “Breathe. You’re all right.”

Slowly, you sat up. “I should get back to work,” you muttered. “Someone’s going to come looking for me.”

“Just sit for a moment longer,” Talsim said. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m okay.” You got carefully to your feet, Talsim still supporting you. He gave you an uncertain look. “I only have, like, half an hour left on my shift. I’ll manage.”

Talsim frowned. “If you’re sure. I’ll see you when you get off.” He vanished and you washed off before heading back out.

Half an hour later, you were freed and you couldn’t get out of the building fast enough. Talsim was waiting for you, leaning against the side of the building.

“Feeling better?” he asked as he fell into step next to you.

“Yeah.” As if to contradict you, the muscles of your neck and head tensed. You stopped, grimacing. Talsim grabbed your shoulder to steady you.

“Still aching?” he asked. You nodded.

“It’s not that bad.”

“Poor thing. You’re still tense.” He trailed a hand down your spine. “You need something to help you relax.”

You glanced at him. “What did you have in mind?”

Talsim grinned, then bent over and scooped you up into his arms. You yelped, throwing your arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”

“Carrying you home!” he grinned. “You deserve the rest.” You settled into his grip and he carried you the rest of the way to your house. The door opened with a flick of his wrist and he took you up the stairs and into your room.

He dropped you gently on the bed, closing the door behind you. “Okay,” he said. “Strip.”

You stared at him. “Well, not completely,” he said. “But I want to give you a massage. Take off your shirt.”

You tugged your shirt off, feeling cool air tickle against your skin. Talsim gestured for you to lie down. With a flick of his fingers, the lights dimmed and a bottle of sweet-smelling oil appeared in his hands. “Relax,” he said. There was the lightest brush of his hands over your skin. Your heart rate ticked up a notch.

“Are you still in pain?” Talsim asked.

“No,” you said. “Just tense.”

“I know. I can feel it.” His hands moved over your skin again, this time with more pressure. “Lie your arms at your sides. There you go.” Once you were in the position he wanted, he started to dig his fingers into the knots in your muscles.

He started up near the base of your neck, working out toward your shoulders. His hands were warm. They felt like heating pads, leeching tension from your muscles. The oil was sweet and slick against your skin. Little groans of satisfaction slipped from your throat as Talsim dug in.

The massage was an odd mix of pain and pleasure, your sore muscles protesting Talsim’s work. And yet the feeling of him reliving some of the tension was amazing. You drifted in and out of wakefulness, trying not to fall fully asleep. Your mind felt hazy, dim. All that mattered was Talsim’s hands along your back, relaxing you.

Eventually, he leaned back. “Better?” he asked.

You turned your head to look at him. “You’re really good at that.”

“I am,” he agreed. “You were very tense. Maybe we should do this more often?”

“That would be nice.” Slowly, you sat up, trying to remember how to get your flimsy muscles to work again. Talsim leaned back into bed next to you. His arm looped around your shoulder.

“Do you have work tomorrow?” he asked. You nodded. “Hm. Bummer.”

“I don’t work all day. We can do something afterward,” you said. Talsim tilted his head thoughtfully.      

“I suppose. Would you be willing to do something with me after work?” He trailed his fingertips along your shoulder, drawing little circles with a light touch.

“I’m always willing to spend time with you.”

Talsim pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Wonderful.”

Eventually, you were hungry enough that you finally had to get out of bed. Talsim followed you, as he usually did, watching as you made yourself dinner. He sniped bits and pieces of your meal as you made it, laughing cheerfully whenever you swatted his hands away.

By night, Talsim had wrapped himself around you like a boa constrictor. His face was nestled firmly in your shoulder, warm breath tickling your neck. All of his limbs clutched at you. He was half-asleep, only conscious enough to grab at you when you tried to get out of bed.

“Don’t,” he mumbled.

“I have to go change into my pajamas.”

“No, you don’t.” He hauled you back into bed with little effort.

“Yes, I do.” You made your tone firmer and he relented with a pout. By the time you had finished getting ready for bed, he was fully awake, obviously waiting for you.

The bed was technically too small for two people, which meant that when you got into it with him, you had to snuggle very close together. Talsim clearly didn’t mind. He wrapped himself around you like he had before. One of his hands carded through your hair.

You drifted into sleep. Your dreams were vivid and kept sending you back to wakefulness, though they evaporated soon after you opened your eyes. Talsim stirred every time you did, murmuring soothingly until you fell back asleep.

Naturally, such a restless night meant you weren’t well-rested when you had to set off for work. Talsim plied you, trying to get you to remain in bed, but you left anyway. Your day at work passed without another headache and when you left, Talsim was waiting for you.

“Do you want to go now?” he asked.

“Shouldn’t I change?” you said, gesturing to your uniform.

“There are clothes at my place,” he said. “Should fit.”

You weren’t entirely sure how or why he had gotten clothes that would fit you at his place, but he probably wanted you to take them for a reason. “Okay, then.”

His hand seized yours and he pulled you away from the people on the street. Three steps in, there was a wooshing noise around you and the scenery changed.

Talsim’s room felt otherworldly, almost dreamlike. It was large, with a great, circular bed in the middle, and everything seemed tinged with pink light. The gauzy canopy that surrounded the bed seemed to sway slightly, despite there being no wind. There seemed to almost be shifting colors on the wall, like we were underwater, though the color was pink, not blue.

Something niggled at the back of your mind, a weird sense of being off balance. You frowned at the glittering jewels that hung with the canopy. “Did you… change something?”

Talsim beamed. “Altered the canopy a little. The jewels used to be blue, remember?”

“Sort of.” You couldn’t really summon a picture of it to your mind. There was just the sense that something was a little different.

Talsim opened a door and stepped inside. It was a frankly enormous walk-in closet, with clothes from all different periods and culture. He searched for a moment before bringing out a set of thick, denim jeans and a jacket.

“Here.” He passed it to you, then returned to the closet and pulled out a pair of hiking boots.

You hesitated. He sat down on the bed, apparently waiting. “Uh, is there a room I can change in?” you asked.

Talsim’s face fell. “It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”

“In other lives,” you clarified and he nodded. When you still looked hesitant, he sighed and gestured toward another door you hadn’t noticed right away.

“When you’re ready,” he said in a gentler voice.

The room he had gestured to was a bathroom, literally. It contained an enormous bath, though it looked a lot more like a swimming pool, in size and shape. There were several spigots along the wall. Next to you was a large cabinet that was full of bottles and creams and bath bombs and the like. You changed quickly, folding your clothes in your arms.

Talsim took your uniform when you exited. He’d changed too, into an outfit similar to yours. His gaze flickered over you and a smile crossed his face. “You look good.”

The clothes were well-fitted to your body, in a way most off-the-rack clothes weren’t. “Yeah,” you said. “Where did you get these?”

Talsim tilted his head to one side. “I don’t remember. I don’t pay much attention to store names. I just picked something that looked about your size and modified it a little.”

Ah. That explained why they fit you so well. “How’d you know what size I am?”

“Practice. I’ve had to guesstimate your size for you a few times. I’ve gotten pretty good at it.” His hands came to your shoulders, moving down only a little before hesitating. “Everything feels all right?”

“Yes,” you said, trying not to be overly focused on his touch. Just like that, he reached down, hooked an arm behind your knees, and lifted you against his chest.

Your head ended up pressed to his shoulder. His cheek brushed against the top of your head. “Comfortable?” he asked.

“Uh,” you said, clinging to his shirt. His arms were strong, but you still felt a little like you were going to fall at any moment. “What are you doing?”

His wings unfolded, pale magenta and shimmering. “We’re going for a quick flight, of course.” The wings whirred and he lifted a few inches off the ground. You grabbed onto him. “Easy,” he said in a gentle voice. “Not scared of heights, are you?”

“Not exactly,” you said. “I am a little scared of being carried around while flying, though.”

“I’m not going to drop you,” Talsim said. “Don’t you trust me?” He gave you a pouting look.

“I trust you,” you said. “I’m just nervous.”

“I promise, nothing will happen,” Talsim said. “I wouldn’t do anything I thought would hurt you.” His voice was quiet and utterly sincere. “We can land if you don’t like it.”

“All right,” you said. Talsim’s wings whirred at an even faster pace. He moved to the window, pulled it open, and darted outside.

The ground was a dizzying distance away. You stared at it as it blurred underneath you. A river carved through a rocky valley, fading into a forest. For a little while, the trees were a vibrant green, but gradually, they became mottled with yellows and reds and oranges.

You leaned forward a bit too far and felt Talsim’s grip falter. He clutched at you. “Careful!” he yelped. A bolt of magic pushed at you, settling you back in his arms. “I know I said I would hold onto you, but that doesn’t count if you throw yourself out of my arms.”

“I was just trying to look,” you said. Talsim slowed down, coming to a hover.

“We’re almost there, anyway,” he said. His wings slowed and he began a controlled descent. The sea of trees beneath you grew more distinct until you could make out individual branches. Talsim wove between the treetops until he found a particularly large bough. He landed lightly on it. The branch was thick as a sidewalk and peeking over the edge was dizzying. You couldn’t see the ground. Beneath you was just an endless sea of branches and leaves.

“How tall are these trees?” you asked.

“Not sure. Much taller than any in the human realm. They’ve been around for much longer,” Talsim said. He rested a hand on your back. “It’s one of the older forests in the Autumn District.”

“Autumn District?”

“We don’t have seasons here. We have districts. Summer, Spring, Winter, and Autmun.” He gestured at the trees. “I live in the Spring District, which is obviously the best one, but the others are nice for a visit.”

He took a few steps along the tree branch, looking back at you. “The Autumn District in particular is a nice place for a walk.” He held out a hand.

You took it, staying close to his side. There was enough space on the branch for both of you to stand next to each other, but you had to stay close. Talsim took a few steps along the branch, pulling you gently. His wings fluttered and, in a graceful, dancer’s motion, he jumped between branches.

The new one was slightly below yours, and a tiny bit thinner. Talsim’s grip on your hand forced you to follow him, even as you pulled away, windmilling your free arm. “What are you doing?” you yelped.

As your feet left the branch, you were aware that you weren’t falling. You were drifting in the direction Talsim tugged you. Magic tingled through your fingertips and sparked against your skin. Talsim gave another gentle pull on your arm and you floated down to land on the branch next to him.

Hitting the solid ground sent a shock through you and you stumbled into his side. “Careful there,” he said, wrapping his arms around you. “You all right?”

“I think so,” you said breathlessly. “Can we do that again?”

Talsim let out a delighted laugh. “What else would we be here for?” He sprang from the branch to one nearly level with it. There was a moment of weightlessness, then your feet hit the rough bark with a jolt. Talsim clutched at your hands to steady you. His wings fluttered, blurring with motion. “Ready?” You nodded. “Let’s go!”

He sprang up, pulling you up to the next branch with him. As soon as you landed, you were off again, springing through the trees. Your wild, uncontrollable laughter and whooping trailed through the trees behind you as you moved. Talsim kept up the pace, pulling you through the trees in a constant cycle of leap, float, and land.

You were pretty sure you were heading somewhere in particular. Talsim seemed to have a destination in mind, as he was consistently moving in the same direction. Exactly what you were heading toward, you were uncertain. But if Talsim was planning it, you would probably enjoy it.

You landed awkwardly on the next branch and Talsim stopped, steadying you against him. “Okay there?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you panted, then you realized that you were panting. And your knees felt like water. You’d been so distracted that you hadn’t realized what a physical effort leaping between the trees had been. “I think… I just need a minute.”

“We’re almost there,” Talsim said, leaning over the edge of the branch to peer toward the ground. “One more jump.”

“Fine. One more.” You took a deep breath and Talsim jumped.

His wings fluttered, slowing your fall. You wrapped your arms around him as he drifted carefully down between the branches.

He landed tentatively on an enormous branch. It was several feet wide, though the slope toward the edges seemed dangerous to walk on. You were solidly in the middle, though. And also solidly in the middle was a pool of water.

You stepped forward, peering into the pool. The branch had a knot in it, a protruding edge that sank into a deep pool. It must have collected between rains. As you looked at it, the water shifted slightly, rippling in tiny, constant waves.

The water was pretty. There was some small silvery shimmer on the surface and the center of the pool was a deep purple, which was unusual, but other than that, it seemed rather ordinary. Not worth traveling all that way, certainly. You glanced back at Talsim and he gave you a grin.

“Not impressed?” he said in a gently teasing tone.

“Is there something special about it?” you asked.

“Not on its own,” he said. “But if you reach down inside it…” He knelt next to you, plunging his arm in the water. It seemed viscous, the way it gathered around his arm like it was reluctant to let him go.

He yanked suddenly and the water released him to fast he tumbled backward. You yelped, half expecting him to fall off the edge, but he recovered quickly and thrust his hand toward you.

Sitting in his palm was a pearlescent ball, swirling with a galaxy of colors. It was dizzying to look at. He looked so pleased with himself that you felt a little bad for still not being impressed. “Uh. What is it?”

He looked down at it. “I’m not sure,” he said. “It’s… a ball.” He shifted his hand, rolling it around in his palm. “But it also makes a very good paint.”

There was a pen in his hand, one of the old-fashioned fountain pens. He plunged the pointed tip into the ball and liquid gushed forth. You thought it was black for a second, then color bled through it like an oil slick, deep purples and flaming reds that melted into rich greens and bright oranges, then midnight blues and piercing yellow. Talsim drew your attention, flicking the pen in his fingers before placing the tip to his skin and drawing.

The ink followed his motions for about a second before deviating into its own fractal swirls. It looked like dropping liquid onto a hydrophobic surface, where it broke apart into delicate lines. The colors continued to shimmer, making the pattern almost hypnotic.

Talsim shook his forearm and the ink dispersed. You shook your head, trying to clear the images that were dancing behind your eyes. “Woah.”

“It’s a little dangerous when it’s wet,” he said, “but with practice it can make beautiful patterns.”

“I’ll say,” you agreed. You could already think of how beautiful one of your vases would be with a color and pattern like that. “Is there more stuff like that here?”

“There’s more stuff that can be used as dyes and the like. They make some interesting colors and patterns. But I thought this would be nice, for your pottery.” He looked at you hopefully.

You took the ball, carefully cradling it in your hands. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

“Mm. Just don’t use it without me. Like I said, it can be dangerous when wet.” His wings buzzed, lifting him slightly off the branch as you peered around for any other mysterious plants that could double as art supplies.

“Is there anything else like this?” you asked.

“Not exactly like that. But yes, there are some things.” He laughed when you glanced around impatiently. “In time. It’s getting late.”

Time was hard to tell in the Fae Realm. The days started and ended at different times than in your world. Despite the sun indicating that it was just past noon, your phone said that it was past five back home. As you became aware of the time, you realized that you were also hungry.

“You’re right. But can we stop at the studio to drop off the paint first?” Talsim nodded and offered you his arm.

“Come on, sweetness.” You stepped forward to grab his arm and he ducked down for a brief kiss before you both popped into the aether.

[eldritch-and-tired]

@misskirby  Hi! Hello! Welcome to my crib! Here today we have a ramble about What If Sidious Couldn’t Quite Fuck EVERYTHING Up- thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, and I hope it makes sense, kinda?

Okayokay SO Vaders Hell Suit was like,,,,, a hell suit. It was awful. Terrible. Painful. Probably not very effective as a medical device. And I know Sidious, being the awful, wrinkly, prune that he is, probably was super creepy and invasive over it, putting shit in, taking shit out, standing over whatever unfortunate surgeon was signed up for the Government-Mandated-But-Medically-Fucked surgery this time and muttering about weird surgical implants he wanted installed in his shiny new apprentice. Remember the kill switch?? I remember the kill switch. 

But. 

I cannot imagine that Every Single Doctor Sidious ever found for his build-a-apprentice project was terminally evil. And I also cannot imagine he used droids for every single step- as much fun as it is torturing Anakin, Darth Raisin also needs a semi-functional murder weapon, so he’s got to have, like, an entire medical team dedicated to keeping this single trainwreck of a man running. But also somehow in the most awful and painful way possible. And look, that is a lot of people to sieve through if you are looking for both A) medical competency and B) evil, so I imagine that there has got to be at the very least one or two people in this group quietly going whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck in a quiet out-of-the-way corner whenever Sidious pops back in like HEY GUYS I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA SERIOUSLY-

Like, come on. How many people become doctors just to torture people?

And I ALSO imagine that in the very early days of the Empire, when most Important People were probably running on stims, hopes, and prayers more than actual sleep or whatever it is that sustains politicians, Sidious must have been pretty fucking busy. Maybe busy enough for a few things to slip through the gaps. 

Maybe busy enough that a newly hired intern to his assembled team of ‘Doctors in charge of Lava Boy’ might have just completely and utterly missed the memo of Do Not Actually Fix This Man, and one fine morning will see this poor, poor intern trotting into Vader's recovery room and presenting him with a folder full of pain management options and asking him which he would like to try.

Have you ever been in serious, unending pain? The kind that never goes away, just kind of simmers and simmers at vaguely manageable levels, that chips away at your energy and your willpower to do anything but lay in a puddle and cry- that’s what Vader is probably experiencing at a very uncomfortable level right now, even drugged to the nines and in and out of surgery rooms as he is. Canon Vader probably wore that suit due to a combination of No Way Out, I Deserve This, and What Do You Mean Your Boss Isn’t Supposed To Torture You? 

But this Vader is tired, sad, and alone. His wife is dead. The temple has burned. He killed children. His legs are gone, his arms are gone, he hurts everywhere and everything sucks and he is teetering on the edge of a black hole and while Sidious is very good at playing the edge of it Vader hurts. So. Bad. 

He doesn’t want to hurt. Sidious hasn’t really had time to sink as many hooks into his brain as he wanted yet, and Vader is still semi-used to those years of ‘you’re free now Anakin’ and doesn’t think twice about sending off this Intern with orders to buy him a big fuckin bag of Space Weed or whatever so he can hurt a little less.  

And like. What is Sidious gonna do about it? By the time he realizes what happened, that his plans have been derailed, this intern is already on Vader's radar. He Knows. If this intern disappears now, Vader will look for him. He can’t get rid of him. Vader is busy horking down anti-inflammatories and appetite inducers and this intern is right there next to him reading off lists of new medications to try or absent mindedly flipping through a data pad and going ‘hey that’s weird you don’t need that surgery or that or that or that and hey wanna try this other brand of prosthetic? they work a lot better, we can schedule you in for some skin grafts, let’s call in this specialist i know i worked with him back over at-’

The rest of the medical team is. Well. Terror would be an understatement. Sidious is Not Happy, but he can’t do shit to this fucking intern as long as Vader is even somewhat aware of him because that would be tipping his cards too early and sharply, and Vader isn’t quite on board with the ‘letting my master torture me for funsies’ train yet.

So Sidious sits. And he seethes. And he moves on, eventually, to other plans to control Vader now that this one has gone so off-the-rails, and meanwhile Vader is getting healthier and healthier and his mind is getting clearer and clearer without so much chronic pain and fucking hell, and one day as he gets back from yet another battlefront, horking down another cupful of pills, he thinks to himself-

wow sidious kind of sucks

And thus begins the end of the Emperor. 

(it really is amazing how much Anakin is capable of when he isn’t hamstrung by a horrible, terrible death suit, even if he is going to be a medical disaster for the rest of his days)

And look, Vader is never gonna be a Nice Guy. He is a Sith. He kills people. He chokes his coworkers and beheads people he doesn’t like, terrifies his enemies and his allies and has so little patience for bootlickers and social climbers he once gutted a socialite right in the middle of a high-society function he was ostensibly playing bodyguard for. He is grumpy and impatient and stupidly powerful and irritatingly competent and makes few friends and a great many enemies. 

But he still beheads Sidious ten years into his new Empire and ascends to the throne as his old masters body cools on the durasteel behind him. 

And this new Empire is… well. Still terrible and facist and fond of genocide. Anakin still leads by bloody example, and despite how much he hates the throne and delegates as much of the actual politicking and paperwork and etcetera off to whomever he can find, he can and will find time to forcefully input some changes. 

There is no slavery in this new Empire. Nepotism is considered a death wish. Corruption and pointless cruelty are less easily dealt with, but the worst offenders are dragged off and made very delicious and bloody examples of- Vader is a flawed man/machine, but what he can or cannot tolerate amongst his personal command tends to trickle down and get absorbed by osmosis by anyone with a lick of sense in their head. 

So now, Vader doesn’t build any kind of paradise. It’s still a tyrannical government where aspiring young senators that get drunk on too much brandy at fancy functions can and will get thrown out of windows for vomiting on the wrong pair of boots, where people are oppressed and where rebellion stews quietly in the background, but-

But. 

Vader has always been the kind of general to be, if not liked, than respected by the men he leads. You could find worse people to head an Empire, even one so great and terrible as this. 

[outofcontextbonappetit]

Responding to Positive Messages pt 4

Today’s a chill day if you couldn’t already tell, I’m going to focus a lot more on going through my inbox, some requests, and during dinnertime I have a queue ready for more Making Perfect content 

I love you all :) Thank you!

This blog is now my life too, I spend so much time on it. In a good way! I needed a more constructive hobby than just constantly refreshing tumblr

I’m glad we can enjoy this life together :)

I’m so glad this has opened the door to you for bonappetitblr! (Still haven’t come up with a better name lmaooo) Best YouTube channel

You’re a saint for joining me here :)

---

And all of these ones are re: my breakdown :’) It’s amazing how differently I feel now compared to back then, I think I was just running on no sleep, having too many physical issues, a depressive episode, etc. So I didn’t get to say anything to you all in the moment but it was really nice and helpful for you all to reach out, it meant a lot. Thank you :)

Thank you for that affirmation, I think I tend to internalize a lot of pressure on myself and then take that and project it onto everyone around me. So this was a nice reminder of like, “no one will be upset with you but yourself”. It helped me a lot to rationalize the situation :) 

Thank you for your patience and support :) It’s good for me to have the reminder because I have a hard time internalizing it myself

The jar 2/3 vibes definitely came through, I laughed a lot when I read that a few days ago omg. I hope you saw I referenced that in my tags a bit ago it really left an impression 

Thank you so much for your consideration and for reaching out :)

@actuallyraven Yeah, rational Grace hears you and heartily agrees, she’s just also battling with ADHD hyperfixated Grace and oftentimes loses :’) And I’ve just always been the sort of person who can only go 0 or 100 (idk if you’ve heard Moderation by Florence + The Machine; FANTASTIC song and also ME)

But thank you so much for the affirmation that it’s not only okay to practice moderation, but in fact healthier. I think I internalized it some honestly, that’s why I’m doing a lot better today

@youcantcancelquidditch Thank you for your love :’) That was a really nice affirmation to receive, I’ve kind of tricked myself into having this ideology that your life should always be about what you do for others, without any expectation for reciprocation. I don’t know how to trick myself out of it because it’s not super healthy, but I think maybe step one is to know that the love you give is going to be reciprocated

Also your url made me think of this omg, when I worked at my library I helped out a coworker by joining the summer Quidditch team, and literally all the kids (who were in elementary and middle school) rocked the floor with me 

You didn’t need to hear that but that’s a fun detail

Thank you everyone again for reaching out! It means everything to me, and I love you feverently and eternally <3

[briars7]

🍊Adventures of an Absurd Assassin #I🍊

Thousand hours. How long it takes to become an expert at anything. I’ve paid my dues, so it’s not exactly bragging when I call myself such, is it? I’m an expert, a master, a skilled artisan. If my work can be considered that. Art I mean. Many in my occupation do. They take great pride in the varying ways they go about it. The methods and tools used to accomplish the same end result. The final cessation. Whatever. They’re all a little too full of themselves, but then I’m one to talk. Oh, I’m sorry. Seems I forgot to introduce myself! Rapscallion, at your service! -A mockery of a formal bow with an imaginary cap doffed and waved- Assassin extraordinaire. Most people just call me Rap. Whole thing is too much of a mouthful. Well...that’s not entirely true. Those most people tend to use a variety of colorful words, but we won’t get into that. You may call me Rap. Where was I? Uhh...right! The pretentious propaganda spewed by my coworkers. We kill people for a living. Simple as that. Nothing particularly amazing there; people do that all the time. For one reason or another, and often through the guise of war and taking out thousands of innocent lives while they’re at it. Why does the League do it? So as their elite can manipulate the entirety of the ruling class along the western coast and several countries inland. Step out of line and the royalty can expect to lose their life. Or worse yet, a loved one. It’s all a big headache really, so I leave the politicking to them. I do as I’m told...when it comes to the gigs. Extracurricular exploits? Haha! We’ll get to that. All in good time! Patience, padawan. Huh. Probably something else I should mention. This all takes place in Medieval Europe. Big drafty castles, fancy getup that’s a beast to move in, gout... You name it, we’ve got it. So. How come I know about Star Wars? You get one guess. Wrong! Okay, maybe you were right—good on you! -snickers- Had to give ya a hard time. I’m a terrible tease. Though more to the point; a time traveler. Before you get it in your head that I should have a fancy ol’ time machine or displacement device, I don’t. One day I was mindin’ my own business in my era, the next I’m...oops. There I go again. Spoilers. ;-) So. Stuck. It’s not allll bad...I mean, other than being more likely to die from infection than because I messed up a job, it’s a fascinating time to be alive! That’s most of what I’ve been trying to do for the past ten years. Survive. Annnnd cause a little mayhem every now and then. Hey, what’s the point of living if you don’t enjoy it?! Gotta remind certain supercilious folk of just how precious—and potentially short—their own lives are while they go about putting a stop to others. My pranks are always harmless. Far as non life-threatening anyway. So what if they’ll be stained pink for a week? It’s hilarious! Really is a wonder I’m still alive. ***

Had a few close calls though. One of my machinations managed to catch several of the more high strung members of the league in the gag. Once they’d gotten themselves extricated from it...which took the better part of a day...they sought me out. I might’ve been insulted that they had immediately decided I must be the culprit, excepting that it was actually a bit of a compliment! My work was being recognized! -Read cat having swallowed the canary smugness in my tone.- When they eventually tracked me down however, they didn’t look all that happy. Or appreciative of the time, ingenuity, and hard work that had gone into constructing a worthy trap. Four highly trained, very lethal assassins had it in for me. So what did I do? What any sane, rational human being faced with similar circumstances might do. I crossed my arms and stood my ground of course! My signature, off kilter and cocky smirk twisting my lips, I asked after their thoughts on the surprise. “Howdy, gents! Enjoy the impromptu lesson plan for today?” Humph. They had the audacity to not only be disgruntled, but also to say so! To my face! They all started growling—or snarling—various threats, but one nasally voice stood out among the rest, “Your cockamamie scheming nearly got us killed! We’re gonna skin you alive and see if that doesn’t teach you a ‘lesson’.” “What’s the nastiness for? None of you died for crying out loud. Limbs still intact and unbroken. You should be thanking me.” My tone with the lilt I carried almost made me sound like a madman, but I could care less. Might even work towards my goals. What are those? Welllll...we’ll see if you can figure it out. My colleagues never have. Not truly. Now, I would’ve liked to have given them the good licking they deserved, but I’m an easygoing guy. I was willing to let them off the hook—this time. But noooo they weren’t ready to let it go. Things were looking bleak for our devious...deadly...determined quartet, but unexpectedly a hero appears! Fortunately for them. Ha! Some unnamed grunt walked between where the four of them were advancing on me; the dude carrying what remained of someone’s deceased corpse. “‘Scuse me, pardon me, my bad,” could be heard muttered under the stranger’s breath. Guy was a mountain of a man, and had to have been new here. I know everyone. Whoever he was wasn’t important this second. I used that briefest of distractions to slip away. I can always kick their butts later...once their tempers have had some time to cool off. Cause we all know that’s exactly how things would go down. Right? Good. Art is done by Aoyume: https://aoyumeart.tumblr.com/ https://www.deviantart.com/aoyumeart/art/Commission-ID-UPDATED-721720350

[dekinswritings]

L1-L1 WH80

In the year 20XX, Neo Tokyo is plagued by manipulated mass media, a corrupt police force and inflation of basic necessities. Every person is infected with nano machines for tracking and suppression purposes. Sentient androids called Lilim live alongside humans. But this is a story about the everyday lives of those who deal with all of this on a daily basis. “L1-L1 WH80” is a small bar owned by Nozomi, affectionately called by its regulars and employees as Lily White. Far away from downtown and any business districts of Neo Tokyo, it’s a place to drink one’s worries away. Alongside Rin, Umi is a bartender for Lily White. Clientele is low but fascinating, whether Umi enjoys their company or not. Get comfortable and listen to Neo Tokyo's residents' stories alongside Umi with a drink or two. It's time to mix drinks and change lives.

VA-11 Hall-A AU. HonoUmi.

Chapter 1 - Fluffy Dream

"A couple of these will make your tongue feel velvet-y. More of them and you'll be sleeping soundly."

Word count: 3.5k

Next Chapter>

[Ao3] [FF.net]

“You know, you of all people should be the first one to get here.”

“Now now, Umi-chan!” Nozomi laughed off Umi’s stern voice and look as she walked down the alley leading to the bar that they had been running together for several years now: L1-L1 WH80.  “Besides, it’s not like we have any customers during opening hours, right?”

“And?” Umi crossed her arms, still dissatisfied with how nonchalantly Nozomi was treating her own bar. “What if there were?”

“Well, they’d have a handsome bartender to pass time with.” Nozomi giggled as she finished unlocking the door to the bar and walking in.

“A bartender who cannot bartend,” Umi mumbled as she followed Nozomi into the bar.

As the lights lit up the place and Nozomi began the daily routine of turning on every appliance in the bar, from the television screen above the bar to the jukebox in the lonely corner, Umi made her way to her mixing station and booted it up. To this day, Umi was amazed how sturdy of a machine the mixing station was. Cleaning aside, it worked as good as new, despite how… rowdy some customers have gotten in the past.

“Well, I’m gonna be in my office in the back. Yell at me if ya need something,” Nozomi said as she passed by the counter and disappeared into the room past the “Employees only” door.

Umi began to scrub the different shaped glasses absentmindedly, the opening ritual of the bar never took too much time nor it needed too much attention, so Umi had to resort to thoughtless chores to pass the time until a customer arrived. L1-L1 WH80 was honestly in an awful part of the city, several blocks away from the nearest commercial sector, and far too many blocks away from the closest tourist area of Neo Tokyo. The lack of any customers in the first thirty minutes after opening hours was a testament to this, but Nozomi insisted in obtaining this location. Ever since she had gotten the idea to run her own bar, Nozomi wanted it to be called Lily White, but the most affordable way to open a bar was to go with the British Trademark Council, and they only handled names with coordinates. So L1-L1 WH80 it was. Umi tried to ignore that even if one had the… creative liberty to pronounce numbers as letters, it would be named-

The sound of the metal door sliding open derailed Umi’s train of thought completely as she lowered the glass she had been cleaning and looked up. “Welcome to Lily Weighty- I-I mean…”

“Lily Weighty?! Hahaha, what’s up with thyat?” Rin was not shy to laugh at her coworker's blunder, something that Umi was not too pleased with.

“You’re late. Almost half an hour late.” Umi frowned as the second bartender for Lily White showed up.

“I have a good reason!” Rin ran up to the counter and slammed her hands on it, something that did not startle Umi but did get her to frown even more.

“And what is it?” Umi asked unamusedly before raising her hand and pulling down Rin by her ear. The one above her other ear. She wanted to punish Rin, but not too much.

“K-Kayochin!” Rin pointed at the door, a Lilim stood right outside the bar. She gave Umi a small smile and a wave.

“Ah, Hanayo.”

“Mhmm! C-Can you let go nyao?” Rin whimpered as she struggled to get out of Umi’s grasp. The moment Umi let go, Rin sighed in relief and rubbed her cat ear. “S-She said that she wanted to come so I waited for her shift to end,” Rin explained and waved at Hanayo to come in. The Lilim bowed at Umi before entering, Umi reciprocating with a simple nod.

Rin, all too pleased with herself now, took a step back from the bar before cracking her wrists and locked her eyes on the bar rail.

“Rin, don’t you dare jump over the-”

But Umi’s warning was too late, for Rin had already jumped over the counter, safely landing behind it and next to Umi.

“Rin! Don’t ever do that again,” Umi was about to grab Rin again, but she stepped away just before she could do so.

“You’re nyat the boss of me!” Rin humphed.

“Nozomi!” Umi called out for the boss of her.

“What’s up!” Nozomi’s voice rang back from her office before she came out to see what was happening.

“Can you please tell Rin not to jump over the counter?”

“Rin-chan, if you break somethin’ it’s comin’ out of your paycheck.” Nozomi put her hands on her hips and frowned.

“O-Okay…” Rin mumbled and her ears drooped.

“Didja break anythin’?” Nozomi asked. Rin shook her head. “Then next time, lemme know when you jump it again. I wanna see it.” Nozomi grinned and gave Rin a wink. “Ah, Hanayo-chan. Welcome to Lily White, hope you have a good time.” Waving their customer goodbye, Nozomi walked back into her office.

“Umi-chan, you gotta record me next time!” Rin’s mood had been lifted sky-high with Nozomi’s request.

“No. And here.” Umi handed Rin the glass she had been scrubbing and a clean cloth. “Scrub clean all of the glasses. Punishment for being late.”

Rin groaned in response but did not say anything back, still happy thinking about the next time she would jump over the counter. “Sorry Kayo-chin, duty calls.” Rin gave her an apologetic look.

“Don’t worry Rin-chan. We can always talk later.” Hanayo smiled and approached the counter, sitting in front of Umi.

“It’s always a pleasure to see you, Hanayo,” Umi resumed scrubbing glasses as Hanayo approached the bar.

“It’s been a while, I hope everything’s been fine.”

Chatter like this always seemed like empty courtesy for Umi, but the way Hanayo spoke so softly and the way she looked at her was always so genuine that she could not help to make the exception for her.

“Well, Nozomi was late as usual. And then Rin got away with her stunts, as usual. I find myself surprised thinking about how this bar has been running for so long and-” Umi went silent, stopping herself before she went on a rant. “Sorry, I began to ramble.”

“It’s fine Umi-chan. You’re the glue that sticks Lily White together. Someone needs to keep those two in check.”

Hanayo’s words made Umi smile. She supposed she was right. “Can I get you anything?”

“Hmmm…” Hanayo tapped her finger on the chin, making small dink sounds every time she did so. “Can I get a Fluffy Dream?”

Umi nodded and began to input the ingredients in her mixing station. Three parts Adelhyde, three parts Powdered Delta, and four parts Karmotrine. Hanayo had deceptively high alcohol tolerance so Umi always put additional Karmotrine in her drinks. Even though Umi assumed most Lilim were designed that way, the first time Umi had seen Hanayo outdrink Nozomi would never leave her mind. “Here,” Umi handed Hanayo a green and sweet cocktail right after Hanayo put her card over the scanner to finish the transaction.

“Thanks,” Hanayo replied alongside a smile before taking a sip of her drink. “Is… Rin-chan always late?” She asked in a quiet voice, not wanting her friend to overhear them.

“Well…” Umi began to think of the times that she had been left alone behind the counter multiple times, but only very few of those occasions Umi had needed help with customers. “It is not often that I need help with bartending during opening hours, but she’s usually only late by a couple of minutes. It’s nothing too bad, really.”

“Really? That’s a relief…” Hanayo let out a sigh before sipping on her drink. “Rin-chan has not always been… the greatest when it comes to responsibilities and stuff like that. I know that Nozomi-chan won’t just fire her or anything but... “ Hanayo trailed off, running her finger across the rim of her glass. The sound of the glass and the metal finger made for an odd sound.

“But it would be nice for her to commit to her responsibilities?” Umi finished her question.

“Yeah, it always worries me a little that she’ll run out of options someday.” Hanayo confessed, glancing at Rin from her peripheral vision.

“If she does, I’ll do all I can to help her out.”

“Thanks, Umi-chan. It means a lot to me.” Hanayo smiled and took a long sip of her Fluffy Dream, finishing the rest of her drink. Hanayo put down her glass and slid it towards Umi.

Umi took the glass and put it in the sink to clean it later. “Can I get you anything else?”

"I’ll have… a Moonblast. Make it big,” Hanayo requested after taking a glance at the drinks menu on the screen behind Umi.

“A big Moonblast.” Umi repeated, mostly out of habit rather than confirming the order. Big, so twelve Adelhyde, two Powdered Delta, two Flanergide and four Karmotrine. Ice and blended. “So, how was work?” She asked as the mixing station whirred the drink until it became blended.

“Oh, kids will be kids.” Hanayo giggled. “You-chan made Yoshiko-chan cry when she took away her favorite toys and they didn’t want to make up until their moms came to pick them up. Oh! Thanks.” Hanayo hadn’t noticed when her drink had been served but she quickly took a gulp out of it.

“You’re welcome,” Umi replied before she ran the tap water to clean the glass Hanayo had just used. She knew that kids could be… unreasonable, but Umi would not have the patience to be in Hanayo’s line of work. “By the way, are kids not… unsettled by your looks?” She had always been curious about this, but she did not mean to pry too much on Hanayo’s private life, especially regarding the fact that she was a Lilim.

“Well, they always stare at me on the first few days. Most of them get touchy, especially on the joints. Then they ask me if I’m a robot. I don’t mind though!”

“Well, the key difference between a robot and a Lilim is that Lilim are fully designed to learn and feel emotions. Robots are just machines.”

“I always have to explain that, and then they start asking if TVs and phones are robots. You would think it’d stop being funny the first time it happens.” Hanayo giggled, reminiscing of the kids she had had to babysit before. “Kids are amazing, don’t you think? They’re always full of energy and curiosity, and above all else, innocence. It’s hard to find such pure things in this world anymore.”

“Not even the alcohol is pure anymore,” Umi commented offhandedly, earning a chuckle out of her client. Hanayo talked of kids so passionately, it truly showed that her class of Lilim was designed for social interactions. She even looked like the kindest of mothers.

“Umi-chan! Stop hogging Kayo-chin!” Rin groaned rather loudly, still scrubbing glasses until they were sparkly clean.

“Stop coming late then,” Umi replied and rolled her eyes. “Okay, I’ll let you have Hanayo. But you still have to finish with those glasses.”

“Yay! Aye aye captain!” Rin saluted before waving at Hanayo. “Come sit over here!”

“It’s always nice to talk with you, Umi-chan,” Hanayo said before changing to a stool in front of Rin.

“Welcome to Lily White,” Umi said out of habit when she heard the metal door open.

“Hey, bartender!” Umi’s new client boasted quite an attitude for her size. Umi had to suppress the urge to sigh. It was going to be one of those clients. Umi was able to take a better look at the client as she walked towards the counter. She looked like a DFC Lilim, and a rather young looking one at that. Her voice sounded much smoother though, like a CH1A. Like a human.

“These walls are soundproof, right?” The Lilim asked quietly as she looked around, inspecting every corner of the bar as if she was looking for something.

“Soundproofing isn’t standard in BTC bars but because we’re in a… less commercialized area, our walls are soundproof,” Umi explained, still inspecting the Lilim in front of her. There was something familiar about her, something she could not pinpoint. Maybe someone else she knew had black hair like hers.

“So this bar is soundproof because it’s a shitty area for a bar and you can’t make a ruckus for everyone else in the neighborhood. Got it.” The Lilim’s tone of voice did little to impress Umi.

“So,” Umi did not mean for her voice to sound so loud, “can I serve you a drink?”

“Oh! Uh, sure. You can serve me a Gut Punch. That is your cheapest drink, right? Yeah, serve me one of those awful things.”

Umi eyed the Lilim one more time before she started to mix her drink. She did not even look old enough to drink alcohol. Well, she was not human per se, but there were still laws that regulated Lilim drinking.

“Here you go, miss…” Umi took a look at the cashier to read her client’s name. “Miss Yazawa.”

“Please, no one calls me that! I’m everyone’s favorite idol! Nico Nico Nii!” Nico put on a smile that looked as fake as the “natural ingredients” in her mixing ingredients and posed with her hands above her head. It only made Umi feel like she received a quite literal Gut Punch.

“Right… Nico.”

“See? Now you’re getting it!” Nico grinned before she sipped on her drink. The moment the mix entered her mouth she made a disgusted expression and put her drink down. She certainly seemed like one who would not be able to handle such a strong drink. “Hey! This is actually awful!”

“Well, maybe you should not have come to a bar, Nico.”

“What are you blabbering about? This doesn’t have any alcohol in it!” Nico pointed at her drink before putting it on the other side of the counter.

“We don’t serve minors here.” Umi explained with a stern voice, ignoring the drink she had been returned.

“Minor?!” Nico gasped offendedly before she got off her stool. Umi kept her stern look, even if Nico looked shorter without her seat. “I am a fully developed Lilim!” she exclaimed before slamming down her identification on the counter.

Umi frowned and looked down at the ID card Nico had set down. Her assembly date was… “You’re older than me,” Umi thought out loud. “Forgive me, you just look so-”

“Young? I know I do, lady! Not every Lilim opts in for the upgrades.” Nico’s tone made Umi think she was not too fond of said upgrades. “Now, can you spike my drink, please?”

Umi was not too fond of Nico’s wording but complied anyways. Instead of adding Karmotrine, Umi threw the drink into the sink and mixed a new one. “Say, Nico. Have we met before?” Umi’s curiosity got the better of her.

“Oh? You mean you don’t know me?” Nico’s smug smiled made Umi think she was about to regret asking. The Lilim tied up her hair in twintails with a couple of ribbons, flipped one of them and cleared her throat. “Nico Nico Nii! I’m Neo Japan’s number one idol, Nico Yazawa! Nico Nii loves every single one of you, and remember to buy my latest collab CD with A-RISE!”

Umi was dumbfounded. Not in her entire bartending career had she seen a circus act been performed in Lily White. Frankly, this could all have been a dream for all she knew.

“Hmm? Captivated by Nico’s charms?” Nico’s wink snapped Umi back into reality. Pleased with herself, the Lilim went back to her seat and took the drink Umi had prepared for her and took a sip of it. “Wow, this is still fucking awful.”

“I added the alcohol though.” Umi frowned, wondering if she had messed up the drink.

“I know, I’m just saying this is awful.” Nico stuck out her tongue in disgust before taking another sip.

“Why order it then?”

“Because it’s cheap,” Nico answered quickly.

“I thought you said you were an idol,” Umi asked, still confused. Did Nico really do all that act to pretend to be one?

“I wasn’t always one! Nico Nii’s story is a humble one, which you can buy in audiobook form for just a thousand yen!” The Lilim had gone from sad to complete business mode in a matter of seconds. Umi had to admit that her vocal range was impressive. Nico frowned when she did not get Umi moved not even by an inch and sighed. “Or you can get it for free for a Moonblast.”

“I’m not giving you free drinks, Nico.”

“Fine then! Just give me my Moonblast.” Nico huffed and crossed her arms dejectedly. Her pout flipped to a happy and excited smile once Umi handed her her drink.

“Do you like Moonblasts?” Umi felt compelled to ask, seeing how excited Nico was about drinking hers.

“Of course!” Nico smiled and put her drink down just to make her pose. “They’re sweet, happy, pink and girly, just like Nico Nii! It also helps that they’re not too expensive.” Nico’s voice of nostalgia made Umi raise an eyebrow. So far the only genuine thing about her.

“So what brings an idol to Lily White?” Umi asked as she cleaned the glass she had used for the previous drink.

“Lily White?” Nico tilted her head, puzzled. “I heard you say that before. Wasn’t this bar’s name just a code or something?”

“Well, yes, but the owner of the bar really wanted it to be Lily White. Hence the… less than ideal location,” Umi explained.

“Oh, well, that works out for Nico you know. Nico needed a lowkey place to drink her worries away. Too many eyes in the other districts! And this is nearby… ish to my home.” Nico explained as she took another generous sip of her drink. “Nico doesn’t get too much privacy nowadays,” she mumble into her glass.

“Well, as a bartender I promise to keep everything you say here a secret.” This was true with most bartenders and somewhat obvious but Umi figured that saying it out loud might comfort the idol a bit.

“Just what Nico needs! A private therapist that only charges me a Moonblast per hour.”

“Oh, if you want someone to chew their ears off, we have someone over there with four of them.” Umi pointed at Rin and Hanayo on the other end of the counter, who had been too busy talking with each other to notice the newest patron of the bar.

Nico gasped when she saw Rin. Her crimson eyes were fixated on those cat ears on her head. “A cat bomber…”

“Cat boomer.” Umi corrected her.

“A cat boomer! That’s what Nico said.” Umi did not manage to control her eye roll, but thankfully Nico was not looking at her. “Aren’t those cute? Nico sometimes has to put on animal ear headbands, but nothing beats the real deal.”

Rin turned towards them, Nico’s lack of subtlety catching her attention. She excitedly turned to Hanayo and tapped her shoulder with enthusiasm before pointing at Nico. Hanayo made a sound Umi was not even aware Lilim could make, but after exchanging some murmurs with Rin, the two girls approached them.

“N-Nico Yazawa!” Hanayo gasped once she was on the stool next to Nico’s.

“Oh, a fan!” Nico’s voice was more than saccharine. Umi was glad she did not have to hear her speak like that all this time. “Finally, some recognition in this abandoned lot of a bar.”

“Me too-nya!” Rin was practically bouncing in place out of excitement. “Kayochin knows everything about you and we always listen to your songs!”

“And that last album with A-RISE was amazing!” Hanayo nodded one too many times.

“Oh oh! Your next song should be about cheeseburgers! And and and about waffles!”

“Hey, what are your names?” Nico asked as she rummaged through her pocket.

“Rin!”

“A-And I’m Hanayo!”

“Got it.” Nico grinned as she pulled out a marker and wrote her signature on her glass and on Hanayo’s, much to the other two’s rejoice.

Umi sighed, noticing the marker was a permanent one too. Tonight was going to be a long night.

“Is this place still open?”

“We’re closing up the bar, sorry!”

“Oh, okay. I’ll come by earlier next time then.”

“Come again!”

“Who was that?” Umi asked her coworker as she stepped out of the restroom.

“A client I hope, she looked like a cop…”

“She wouldn’t have left if she had come as a client. Let’s hope she comes back later.”

Thanks so much to @saberin, @master-thief-gray-shadow and @grayneigh for helping me beta this! This is another passion project (that sounds pretty lame) of mine! I've always wanted to write a bartending AU and VA-11 Hall-A is an amazing setting for some delicious AU. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing this. Hopefully all the terminology isn't too confusing, I tried to explain it all without relying too much on exposition. If you have any questions feel free to send me an ask!

Please support Sukeban games by checking out VA-11 Hall-A Cyberpunk Bartending Simulator over on Steam or their website (also now available for PSVita)! It's super good if you enjoy Visual Novels and good writing. And great music.

[samthenifty]

Welp, time to get personal I guess. Story time peeps. If you care to read for a few.

So I'm currently in the process of switching jobs. From a minimum wage crew position at good ol McD's, to a starting pay of 13/hour as a interior cleaner of new homes being constructed. Also, bonus its a switch from the dreaded graveyard shift to a lovely regular week day 8 to 4 shift. All with the awesomeness of getting to work with my girlfriend again cuz they hired her too! So I've been stoked!

Although there is a lot of good change in my life, its been stressful. I am awful at handling change. Always have probably always will to some degree. I was also sad to be leaving my team. Almost all of which I thoroughly enjoyed being around. Sure I could try to stay in touch afterwards, but other than an added mutual at this sight to spam with memes. I knew I'd be losing touch with all of them. The allies we have in the hellscape of these sorts of jobs, they are valuable and treasured. Take away the warfront though, and we'd have no real reason to stick together.

I'd only been at this latest Mc'Ds for a couple months, but I'd managed to gather a few amazing memories already. I'll treasure those, along with a couple harsh lessons its brought my way.

One of these lessons, is why I'm writing this post. The lesson that, even with all the growth I've had in recent years, I have a lot to learn about reading people still.

A small bit of backstory for you guys. I have a couple of mental illnesses (no surprise, this is tumblr after all) including generalized anxiety disorder, depression and aspergers tendencies. This last one, for how it affects me at least, essentially hinders my ability to read people. Social cue readings going arrie when I try to absorb them. A very common example being my problem with thinking someone is mad/negative when they probably weren't trying to. Combine that mess with my anxiety, and it becomes very hard to be around people I have had altercations with in the past.

A couple days ago I started the first day of my two weeks after giving McD's my notice. I went in ready to go. Ready to be a part of the team and make the most out of my remaining time. When a little ways into my shift an altercation began. One I have not fully recovered from.

For the sake of anonymity we'll refer to her as M, she is a overnight manager. I had known her as a customer, she was a favorite of mine and my girlfriend's back when she was a crew member. Then one day I came back to the store on a snack run, and I found out she was a manager. Shortly after I applied and started working overnights.

I had been so enamored with her customer service persona that I was so sure I would enjoy working with her. For some parts I was right. She was complicated, mildly selfish and sharp tongued, but I didn't dislike her. At least not at first.

Over the short time I've been working here, I slower started to see through my old view of M. Who I tried my best to continue liking, but it didn't last. One reason being that we had several situations where I would try to say/suggest something helpful, and she'd talk me back into a corner, refusing to give up the last word. I always bit my tongue and tried to brush it off. It wasn't a big deal right? She's the boss after all, so what does it matter what I think right? Fucking wrong.

So when this particular situation arose yet again, I finally lost my patience. Here's what happened okay?

I was running orders for front counter, the guy on register being a new guy. A new guy who had mentioned to me that he hoped he would get assigned the sauces later. He liked that job he told me. So a little while later, after the rush had lulled, I went to ask M if she would be okay with me having the new guy take the sauces along with the three boxes of sauce we no longer needed up front. I was going to continue to say "and I'll watch front counter since I can run for myself", cuz I figured I was probably the more experienced between us. I didn't get a chance to say that part though, because she cut me off and said "why can't you?" I don't remember the next couple of remarks, but the exchange ended in me grabbing up the sauce boxes, informing her that it was just an idea, I don't need to hear all the freaking sass all the time.

By the time I had gotten the boxes back to the shelves, I was starting to fall apart. Whether she meant to or not, M had triggered an anxiety attack. I motioned for a coworker of mine, my mcmutual I mentioned earlier. I told her what had happened as best I could through my choked throat. Tears escaping despite my best efforts to hold my composure. She talked me down, bless her soul. I managed to make it to my ten minute break shortly after. I opened this meme machine website and a doggo cheered me up. I was shaky but stable. Then M came in, sat across from me in the tiny crew room. And tried to confront the situation. Which would have been fine. If she had handled it better. But this is M we're talking about, so of course it wasn't.

She opened up the conversation well, telling me she can't empathize/sympathize if she didn't know whats wrong. That she didn't understand why I, one of her usually best team players under any circumstances (actually a really nice compliment), was trying to push off work onto someone else. I tried my best to explain, she cut my off and told me that new guy was almost off when I asked. Something she could have told me, but didn't. I told her. (Note that he had ended up filling the sauces anyways, so all of this was for nothing in the long run.) She kept running the conversation in circles, making the whole thing about her really, and I gave up eventually. "You clearly just don't understand." I told her. I had given up on trying to explain, I just wanted to talking to end and to move on with the night. Then, she had the gall to get angry with me. She gets offended, gathers her things, and says something along the lines of "fine, you want to sit in here and pout. Whatever, you're leaving in two weeks anyways."

I was, livid. Less than a second following her last words, I boiled over. Taking my phone, which had been under my hand through out the conversation, and slammed it against the table. Fracturing my screen protector (and what I thought was my screen at the time), pissing me off worse, but not as much as the rest of the altercation had. Fine then I'm leaving I yelled after her. I grabbed my stuff, said sorry to the three ladies I was abandoning in night crew, and I sat outside next to their dumb drive through, waiting for my mom to pick me up.

I talked to the general manager in the morning, and I told him what happened, in an abbreviated fashion of course. I told him that I wanted to be there for my time still, but I didn't feel comfortable with working with M. He understood, and asked if I could work 9 to 1 am (half my original shift) so I could be off at the same time as L (another manager lady). I agreed, and he said I didn't have to work Friday and I told him I'd happily come in on Saturday and Sunday still. (I had been under the impression that M wasn't working those nights, but more on that later.)

So yesterday (friday) I go in, and as per usual I'm dropped off almost an hour early due to my girlfriend also being on a McD's night crew in a different city as a manager. I usually would chill in the crew room, but I hunkered down out in lobby instead, hoping to avoid any further conflict. A minute before I'm supposed to clock in I went back to put my coat and bag away. I put on my headband, turned around to leave the tiny crew room, and there she was. M blocking the doorway. Preventing me from starting the workday in peace.

She started with an apology. Which was good and seemed earnest. I was tired of being emotional though, and I knew talking further would trigger my anxiety. So I said, "okay, but I don't want to talk about it."

That's it, that should have been the end of it.

Friends.

It wasn't.

She turned around the conversation again, making it about herself. "Well I won't be okay if I don't talk about it." She says. I didn't say this at the time, but I honestly didn't care. I along with what feels like the entirety of night crew, have been catering to M's mood ever since I started just so we won't all be miserable. I was done with that. I was too tired. I had to look out for myself. So I cut her off, for the first time ever, and I asked her if she wanted me to leave. She stormed off, muttering something about not caring I think.

And that was how I spent less than three minutes in the back of my store. Along with two almost hour long periods before and after in the lobby.

As I waited for my parents to come get me from the lobby, L came to find out what happened. I tried my best to explain it along with a small bit of info on my anxiety. About how I have trouble with people who make me feel emotionally unstable, that no matter how hard I try, M would forever me an unsafe person to me. She couldn't make me stay she says, but she would make sure I had a safe place to work on saturday.

This morning that last comment haunted me. So I called the general manager again, clarifying whether or not M works tonight. When he told me yes, dread started seeping into me. He told me L was going to make sure we stayed seperate. I expressed my doubts, "If M wants something she does it" I told him. I was going to try though, for the sake of my team.

It is currently almost 2:30 pm, and I have not slept. Up until an hour ago I had been trying to, but I've just been too stressed. So I called back, and I told the general manager what was happening. He tried to talk me into going at first, but I think he could tell how strained I was. I apologized profusely, assured him I would be there tomorrow night (the only shift I have left without M), and called out on tonight's shift.

Since that call, I've taken a shower and written this accidental novel. I feel a bit better now. Thank you if you read this far. I know a small handful of you who definitely will. You know who you are. I love you guys. I'm gonna maybe play a game and get a little sleep. Wish me luck tomorrow.

[myquirkylife]

The black and white of dieting is fairly simple: eat less, move more, calories in, calories out. Be consistent and watch yourself transform. Right? Well, generally speaking, yes. But unfortunately, not always. Just like life, dieting is not always so black and white.

Perhaps you know someone that despite training hard, eating at a deficit with properly balanced macronutrients/micronutrients and recovering appropriately, they just can’t seem to lose weight? More often than not, factors at fault include:

“Ghost Bites” – aka those bites of your coworkers dessert, those mindless bites while you prepared your meal, those random bites of various snacks at work, those unmeasured spoonfuls of peanut butter, always eating out and guesstimating, etc. They all add up!

Not Actually in a Deficit – They may not be burning as much as they think they are in their training, therefore, not being in a true caloric deficit (more on this later). Or, eating more than they think they are in comparison to their output. Yes, it is true, sometimes in dieting, to get to a specific goal, you have to be in a lower deficit than you think you need to be in. Harsh truth.

Other than the above factors, there are some that fall in the grey area of dieting. Perhaps you’ve heard folks say, “I can’t lose weight because I have a slow metabolism”? Hell, I’VE said that (thanks, thyroid)! People can have slow metabolisms (soooo many factors that contribute to this), but the most important tidbit of information to take away from this post is: a slow metabolism is NOT a life sentence that you are doomed with forever (or to use as an excuse). There ARE ways to remedy this.

But it takes work. By tracking your intake, you are in control of the calories-in – which is extremely important if you have specific goals. Controlling the calories-out, aside from exercise, is more so dependent on your biology, which is where things can get tricky. The human body is extremely complex, and it is your metabolism (a mega machine of organ function, hormones, energy, etc) that dictates the amount of energy your body outputs in a day.

The thing with the human body is that it is extremely durable and will adapt to extreme circumstances when necessary. Some bodies do this quicker than others (hi). So if you’ve been eating really low calories for a long time, even when combined with hard, diligent training, and you’re still not losing weight, chances are that your metabolism adapted to its current state. No, this is NOT starvation mode. Most people, thankfully, won’t ever experience true starvation. What this means is, your body adapted to its current intake as its “maintenance,” so even though you’re technically not eating much, your body doesn’t think it’s in a caloric deficit, it thinks it is maintaining.

So, how can this be fixed? Reverse dieting! Or, simply getting back to (or figuring out) your true maintenance numbers (macros to eat to maintain weight). This is done so that your body can slowly adapt to eating at higher calories, with minimal weight gain while also increasing your metabolic capacity.

Some argue that there is no need to to do this slowly and you can simply go back to eating at maintenance in a 2-3 week window after a cutting phase (Lyle McDonald, PhD), while others argue that this should be done slowly in a 10 week (or more) window to minimize fat gain and give your metabolism time to adjust (Alan Aragon, Avatar Nutrition, in3 Nutrition, Layne Norton, PhD, Sohee Lee). In my humble opinion, if you’ve been cutting for a long time, slowly increasing your food intake can also help you mentally. Big increases in food in a small time frame can easily lead to binging.

So…all this may sound familiar coming from me, right? Well, that is because I have covered this topic before in The Dark Side of Reverse Dieting. Read that post where I go over my personal experience with reverse dieting (at that point) and the parts of reverse dieting that people don’t like to talk about. Folks love to focus on the group of folks that respond extremely well to reverse dieting such as weight loss and can get their macros upwards of 400g of carbs without gaining but that is not as common as you think.

Okay, so now you’re probably asking, “Well Jo, why are you bringing up reverse dieting yet again?” Sigh.

HERE’S THE DEAL

To put it into perspective, I wrote that post in July 2017 and it is now toward end of April 2018. I was in the middle of a reverse diet that I had began in March 2017. Which, five months in was a record for me! As mentioned in that post, I was notorious for starting a reverse, and at any sign of gain, I’d jump back into a cut. And very recently, I was reverse dieting…again. WHAT?!

So, what had happened was…we had a trip to Costa Rica planned for November 2017 and I did not want to go looking/feeling fluffy (can you blame me?). I was advised against going into a cut just yet, that I should give my reverse more time, then go into maintenance for a bit, and THEN cut. Well, vanity and impatience got the best of me and I compromised on doing a “mini cut” right before the trip. I was warned that cutting a reverse short and diving straight into a cut is not a great idea, but that if I’m to do it, that I should stick to the reverse up until October 2017, then for the month of October, do a somewhat aggressive cut (shock the body in a sense), then get back to a reverse when I return. Well, things did NOT go as planned whatsoever because my body is a difficult bitch (hence why I am writing this long ass post about metabolic adaptation).

Basically, the aggressive mini cut did NOTHING for me. I went from eating about 2200 cals to pretty much 1500 cals (without change in training volume) in a span of about three weeks with no change on the scale or body. The frustrating parts were:

Reverse diet that I spent 6 months on, turned out to be a waste because I was back to eating what I was eating pre reverse diet (perhaps even less) AND at a higher weight than when I began reverse because I’m one of the lucky ones that has some fat gain during a reverse (Note: sarcasm – there should be a sarcasm font)

I was compliant 95% of the time during the reverse and 99% compliant during the cut, so it’s not like I was going YOLO style and overeating

I was diligently training hard in weightlifting throughout

What was done, was done. There I was, right before Costa Rica vacation feeling like…

But I got to thinking…I should NOT be stressing about this during my vacation. I had never been to Costa Rica, it was my first international trip with Migs, and I had spent months planning it. I was determined to turn my shit around and have an amazing time. I planned to mindfully eat but not track my food.

This is just a glimpse at the adventures we had on our 10-day trip living that pura vida:

The trip was phenomenal. We laughed, we ate, we drank, we swam, we did adventure. I couldn’t have asked for a better trip. It took a lot of willpower to not think about what I looked like in this bikini or in those shorts or that dress, but I did it well enough and remained in the moment. Pura vida.

Back to Reality

In my last blog post, I went over exactly what took place upon our return from Costa Rica. Rest in forever peace, my sweet Abuelita.

In that last post, I definitely focused on my training and those lifetime PRs that did make me ever so happy! There’s one major plus from truly fueling my body – getting stronger!

What I didn’t focus on in that post was nutrition and my body, well, because I knew it would take some explaining and it needed its own post to do so.

Anyway, so upon getting back, feeling as discouraged as ever (on top of the emotional roller coaster I was on), I basically just went back to the calories I left off of on my cut and mindlessly stayed there for some weeks until January came around and I stumbled on AHub Nutrition‘s Ashleigh Hubbard on Instagram…and was intrigued. I lurked on her for a while on Instagram from afar. I’d click through and see what her clients were sharing, what she shared, her methods – basically, went down a rabbit hole.

Although I felt Avatar did serve me well, my body just does not always respond as typically as most bodies do and feel it requires more patience than the algorithm allows. It responded well to the reverse overall, but the cut method, not so much, which I know is partially my fault for going from reverse to a cut so quickly. For someone who has a fairly responsive body, I feel Avatar is a great, affordable alternative. But ultimately, it does only base your weekly macro tweaks on your weigh ins (weight + body fat measurement + compliance, and for women, menstruation) without any other factors considered. I figured the time may have come for me to take on a coach again. Someone that can take into consideration not only the weight on the scale but also take into account other measurements such as how I’m feeling, whether I dropped the kids off at the pool, my stress levels, my energy, how I’m recovering, my training changes, etc. I KNOW I could do this for myself but let’s be honest, we’re not always as real with ourselves as we are with others.

What sold me on Ashleigh – because it IS a hefty price tag to take her on, I’ll be honest – is how responsive she was before I even hired her. We DM’ed for about a couple hours the night I finally reached out to her. I asked any and all questions and concerns that I had. I explained my situation, warned her my body is notoriously difficult and I let her know I did not want to go through what I went through before with a previous coach (scroll down). Responsiveness is key with me. Most importantly, don’t brush off my concerns when I have them. She reassured me of all my concerns without giving me blanket responses and added a bonus: her clients have her cell number and can text her with any questions or to just chat.

Time to get to business. Time to make a plan. And she told me what I knew was coming (but was somehow hoping not to come to this). The only way to really get me out of the hole of eating such low calories and not seeing any results was to reverse diet me…AGAIN. Ugh. I expressed my feelings about doing a reverse AGAIN, potentially gaining weight AGAIN, spending months on a reverse AGAIN when I had just spent 6 months on one. I said and asked all these questions, knowing the sad, sad answer already before she even said it. I don’t have much a choice if I want to get my body and metabolism in order. It’s either, remain eating very low calories and lowering them even more with the possibility of still not seeing any change (and have my performance suffer) or reverse diet, but this time go into a maintenance phase, and then cut. And of course, taking into consideration more than just weight on scale the whole time (biofeedback) and adjust accordingly.

Ugh, fine. So here I am. I started the reverse with Ashleigh in January and my reverse just ended a couple weeks ago. From when we started I gained about 3-4lbs – which to some, may seem like nothing. But if you think about the overly aggressive reverse (aka bulkI didn’t ask for) I was put on post op by my previous coach where I gained nearly 10lbs, then the reverse I was very recently on where I had also gained about 3-5lbs (with Avatar) – it sure adds up and IS a lot. I am now on maintenance for the month of April with a week diet (mental) break at the end of the month where I won’t track macros which is also when I’ll be out of town for work. And then, when I’m back in town…

Time to cut! I am hopeful that it will go well this time under the watchful eye of an attentive coach. Another thing I already knew before Ashleigh mentioned it, was that it is very likely that I will ultimately have to go very low in calories due to how my body has responded historically. But luckily, she said she won’t keep me so low for too long and, I don’t have trouble eating low calories when I have to. I more so get frustrated eating low calories and seeing no changes.

HAVE YOU STRUGGLED?

I’m curious to know my readers better. Aside from the common issues listed in this post, have you also struggled with any body goals? Do you feel your body is difficult to change? Did you end up finding what tweaks work for you?

xx,

Jo

The Joys of Metabolic Adaptation #flexibledieting #nutrition #health #wellness #metabolism The black and white of dieting is fairly simple: eat less, move more, calories in, calories out.

[angst-w-happy-ends]

🍊Adventures of an Absurd Assassin #1🍊

No particular trigger warnings here. Just an intro to Rapscallion’s lovely craziness.

Thousand hours. How long it takes to become an expert at anything. I’ve paid my dues, so it’s not exactly bragging when I call myself such, is it? I’m an expert, a master, a skilled artisan. If my work can be considered that. Art I mean.

Many in my occupation do. They take great pride in the varying ways and unique details, almost to the point of creating calling cards by their methods, as they go about it. It all leads to the same result. The final cessation. Whatever you wanna term it. They’re all a little too full of themselves, but then I’m one to talk.

Oh, I’m sorry. Seems I forgot to introduce myself! Rapscallion, at your service! -A mockery of a formal bow with an imaginary cap doffed and waved.- Assassin extraordinaire. Most people just call me Rap. Whole thing is too much of a mouthful. Well...that’s not entirely true. Those most people tend to use a variety of colorful words, but we won’t get into that. You may call me Rap.

Where was I? Uhh...right! The pretentious propaganda spewed by my coworkers. We kill people for a living. Simple as that. Nothing particularly amazing there; people do that all the time. For one reason or another, and often through the guise of war and taking out thousands of innocent lives while they’re at it. Why does the League do it? So as their elite can manipulate the entirety of the ruling class along the western coast and several countries inland. Step out of line and the seemingly untouchable royalty can expect to lose their life. Or worse yet, a loved one’s.

It’s all a big headache really, so I leave the politicking to them. I do as I’m told...when it comes to the gigs. Extracurricular exploits? Haha! We’ll get to that. All in good time! Patience, padawan. Huh. Probably something else I should mention. This all takes place in Medieval Europe. Big drafty castles, fancy getup that’s a beast to move in, gout... You name it, we’ve got it!

How come I know about Star Wars? You get one guess. Wrong! Okay, maybe you were right—good on you! -snickers- Had to give ya a hard time. I’m a terrible tease. Though more to the point; I’m a time traveler.

Before you get it in your head that I should have a fancy ol’ time machine or displacement device, I don’t. One day I was mindin’ my own business in my era, the next I’m...oops. There I go again. Spoilers. ;-)

So. Stuck. It’s not allll bad...I mean, other than it being more likely I’ll die from infection than because I messed up a job, it’s a fascinating time to be alive! That’s most of what I’ve been trying to do for the past ten years. Survive. Annnnd cause a little mayhem every now and then. Hey, what’s the point of living if you don’t enjoy it?! Gotta remind certain supercilious folk of just how precious—and potentially short—their own lives are while they go about putting a stop to others.

My pranks are always harmless. Far as non life-threatening anyway. So what if they’ll be stained pink for a week? It’s hilarious!

Really is a wonder I’m still alive...

Had a few close calls though. One of my machinations managed to catch several of the more high strung members of the league in the gag. Once they’d gotten themselves extricated from it...which took the better part of a day...they sought me out. I might’ve been insulted that they had immediately decided I must be the culprit, excepting that it was actually a bit of a compliment! My work was being recognized! -read cat having swallowed the canary smugness-

When they eventually tracked me down, they didn’t look all that happy. Or appreciative of the time, ingenuity, and hard work that had gone into constructing a worthy trap. Brilliance is wasted on the likes of them! Tch.

Four highly trained, very lethal assassins had it in for me. So what did I do? What any sane, rational human being faced with similar circumstances might do. I crossed my arms and stood my ground of course! My signature, off kilter and cocky smirk twisting my lips, I asked after their thoughts on the surprise. “Howdy, gents! Enjoy the impromptu lesson plan for today?”

Humph. They had the audacity to not only be disgruntled, but also to say so! To my face!

They all started growling—or snarling—various threats, but one nasally voice stood out among the rest, “Your cockamamie scheming nearly got us killed! We’re gonna skin you alive and see if that doesn’t teach you a ‘lesson’.”

“What’s the nastiness for? None of you died for crying out loud. Limbs still intact and unbroken. You should be thanking me.” My tone with the lilt I carried almost made me sound like a madman, but I couldn’t care less. Might even work towards my goals. What are those? Welllll...we’ll see if you can figure it out. My colleagues never have. Not truly. Okay, if you really wanna know, I already told you!! Life’s for the appreciating, not just living it mindlessly.

Now, I would’ve liked to have given them the good licking they deserved, but I’m an easygoing guy. I was willing to let them off the hook—this time. But noooo they weren’t ready to let it go. Things were looking bleak for our devious...deadly...determined quartet, but unexpectedly a hero appears! Fortunately for them. Ha!

Some unnamed grunt walked between where the four of them were advancing on me; the dude carrying what remained of someone’s deceased corpse. “‘Scuse me, pardon me, my bad,” could be heard muttered under the stranger’s breath.

This guy was a mountain of a man and had to have been new here. For starters, I know everyone, and also? No one steps between ticked off assassins and their prey. Which I was not, but still... Whoever he was wasn’t important this second. I used that briefest of distractions to slip away and fade from view for a while. I can always kick their butts later...once their tempers have had some time to cool off.

Cause we all know that’s exactly how things would go down. Right? Good.

[michaelfallcon]

Sara Frinak: The Sprudge Twenty Interview

Photo by Tony Abbott

Our coverage of the Sprudge Twenty interviews presented by Pacific Barista Series continues this week on Sprudge. Read more about the Sprudge Twenty and see all of our interviews here.

Nominated by Diana Mnatsakanyan-Sapp

Sara Frinak is well-known to a generation of American coffee professionals as a tireless volunteer and supporter of coffee events, both regional in the American Southeast, and nationally through the Specialty Coffee Association’s USA competitions circuit. In addition, Frinak is an Accounts Manager with Ally Coffee, a green coffee trading company based in Greenville, SC. From the nominating essay by Sprudge Editorial Advisory Board member Diana Mnatsakanyan-Sapp:

Sara is someone who exemplifies kindness and support in the coffee industry. She never hesitates to help her coffee community, volunteering countless hours with the SCA and local organizations, spending her time and resources to empower young coffee professionals in the southeast and beyond. She is a community cheerleader, relentlessly positive and enthusiastic, treating the victories of others as her own.

What issue in coffee do you care about most?

If I had to pick one issue, it would be resource distribution, which isn’t even a coffee-specific issue, and is both delightfully large and daunting. I’ve noticed in my time there are rarely issues of true lack of information or lack of finances or lack of support, but instead clogs in the system that prevent these things from being shared with equity. So, I suppose I care most about finding and supporting ways for information to be distributed as respectfully and responsibly as possible. I’d like to see investing and sponsorship extended to underrepresented markets. I’d even settle for witnessing folks taking their free time and using it to support coworkers and community members. I suppose this isn’t a very neat or concise issue, but most conflicts I encounter could be avoided with better systems of sharing and of support.

What cause or element in coffee drives you?

I’m not sure if I have a larger cause that motivates me that I could articulate well, so I suppose I’d have to simply say it’s the people of this industry that drive me. It’s so cliche, isn’t it? It’s just I’ve found most of the people I enjoy in this industry are the people working too hard to ask for help or for recognition, and few things light a faster fire under you than that.

What issue in coffee do you think is critically overlooked?

Something overlooked or grossly misrepresented? The autonomy of the supply side of the supply chain. Producers and exporters and “at-origin operations” are businesses, and often businesses maintained by folks with plenty of experience and understanding. The philanthropic side of the industry is beautiful, but often distracts from the personhood of supply-side participants. There is an incredible amount of respect in treating representatives of these businesses as capable and informed, not as helpless, uneducated people. Often times the best way to ‘honor the producer’ is to commit to the prices they name, pay them on time, and roast their coffee well.

What is the quality you like best about coffee?

I love the connectivity of this industry. We can maintain active partnerships with people all the way across the world because of the nature of the supply chains with which we work. There’s so much to be gained from the type of exchange of information across consumer markets and producing markets.

Did you experience a “god shot” or life-changing moment of coffee revelation early in your career?

Is it bad to say no? I certainly had moments in which I was impressed by a coffee, or surprised by what I tasted, but never anything that could be categorized as a “god shot.” My life changing moment came as a volunteer at Expo, when I realized people thought less of me because I worked for an ambiguous specialty coffee shop in Alabama. We roasted the coffee dark and weren’t afraid to mix more than two flavors in a latte; we were from the South, and for some reason that meant we mattered less. The lack of compassion really stunned me. But I’ve always been told, if someone says they’re hungry, the best way to know they eat is to cook them something and feed them. For every dismissive person I met, there was someone being dismissed, so being an attentive presence became very important to me.

I don’t work in coffee because I tried an amazing coffee that changed my life. I work in coffee because enough people were mean to me about things that didn’t seem to matter all that much, and I decided that needed to change, even in a small way.

What is your idea of coffee happiness?

One shift way back when at my first coffee job immediately comes to mind. We had just successfully implemented a “Hawaiian shirt Friday discount” where folks could get $0.25 off their drink if they wore a Hawaiian shirt into the store. I had a regular sitting at the counter, drinking his coffee, and telling us about the time he hitchhiked from South Florida to Alabama. I was dialing in the espresso for the day, and we had found the perfect Pandora station to play for our shift (I don’t even remember the station). It was a perfect combination of being with good people, drinking and thinking about coffee, and having a good time. It’s not a concise idea, but it’s what I think of.

If you could have any job in the coffee industry, what would it be and why?

As predictable as it sounds, I already have the only job I’ve ever wanted in this industry. I’ve always wanted to work with green coffee and supply-side logistics. Coming from a background of small, independent businesses means I am very aware of the things we could never afford. Now I get to help businesses access great coffees, sustainable partnerships, and whatever information they need—no matter the budget, no matter the business size. I don’t know if I’d do anything else in this industry besides what I do now.

Who are your coffee heroes?

Can I list them? I’m going to list them:

– Carllee Curran: because I have never witnessed someone maintain such fierce compassion, empathy, and fairness than her, especially in the face of the nightmare of coffee competitions in the US. She works so hard, and maintains such patience. She represents the type of character I want to have as a member of this industry: forward thinking, practical, fair, and compassionate.

– Sarah Barnett Gill: There are few people I respect more than this woman. She not only put up with me when I was an irritating little shithead, but also empowered me to learn about the industry and develop skill sets. She taught me how to roast coffee and taught me how to manage a cafe. She built a business out of thin air and entrusted me with a piece of it. Sarah is the leader I aspire to be, and our industry could learn so much from how she serves her staff and her customers.

– Ildi Revi: I feel like I only have to say her name and everyone will just sigh and say “oh yes, well of course.” Ildi is perseverance and endurance. No one supports people the way she does. She is one of the smartest people you’ll ever meet, and she uses that intelligence to empower other people to have a better understanding of their role in our industry. We owe so much to the hard work she’s put in.

If you could drink coffee with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

I know I’m supposed to name someone famous to impress people, but I really would only want to sit down and have a coffee with my friends Harry, Joey, and Trevi. We all used to work together in Alabama and have moved away from each other, but talk on the phone all the time. If I could pick anyone to share that kind of a moment with, it’d definitely be them.

If you didn’t get bit by the coffee bug, what do you think you’d be doing instead?

There was a time in my life where I thought I’d be a professional swimmer, so maybe that. If I ever leave coffee it’d be to work for or run an urban farm, because people have to eat and they should eat good food.

Do you have any coffee mentors?

They’re my coffee heroes (listed above). I might argue with them, but I’d do just about anything they told me to do

What do you wish someone would’ve told you when you were first starting out in coffee?

Success is not one-size-fits-all. Hospitality is more about meeting people where they’re at than it is about serving espressos with sparkling water on the side. You should fight for equity and not equality, even if one is harder to defend than the other.

Name three coffee apparatuses you’d take into space with you.

I would honestly probably just bring an auto-drip machine, a cup, and pre-ground coffee. I’d be in space! I’d probably be too busy eating astronaut ice cream to make a pour-over.

Best song to brew coffee to:

“Africa” by Toto or “Tu Amor Hace Bien” by Marc Anthony. I don’t make the rules, that’s just what I’d choose.

Look into the crystal ball—where do you see yourself in 20 years?

Hopefully outside in the sunshine.

What’d you eat for breakfast this morning?

Noodle soup.

When did you last drink coffee?

This morning.

What was it?

House coffee at Waffle House.

Thank you. 

The Sprudge Twenty is presented by Pacific Barista Series. For a complete list of 2019 Sprudge Twenty honorees please visit sprudge.com/twenty

Zachary Carlsen is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Zachary Carlsen on Sprudge. 

The post Sara Frinak: The Sprudge Twenty Interview appeared first on Sprudge.

Sara Frinak: The Sprudge Twenty Interview published first on https://medium.com/@LinLinCoffee

[shebreathesslowly]

Sara Frinak: The Sprudge Twenty Interview

Photo by Tony Abbott

Our coverage of the Sprudge Twenty interviews presented by Pacific Barista Series continues this week on Sprudge. Read more about the Sprudge Twenty and see all of our interviews here.

Nominated by Diana Mnatsakanyan-Sapp

Sara Frinak is well-known to a generation of American coffee professionals as a tireless volunteer and supporter of coffee events, both regional in the American Southeast, and nationally through the Specialty Coffee Association’s USA competitions circuit. In addition, Frinak is an Accounts Manager with Ally Coffee, a green coffee trading company based in Greenville, SC. From the nominating essay by Sprudge Editorial Advisory Board member Diana Mnatsakanyan-Sapp:

Sara is someone who exemplifies kindness and support in the coffee industry. She never hesitates to help her coffee community, volunteering countless hours with the SCA and local organizations, spending her time and resources to empower young coffee professionals in the southeast and beyond. She is a community cheerleader, relentlessly positive and enthusiastic, treating the victories of others as her own.

What issue in coffee do you care about most?

If I had to pick one issue, it would be resource distribution, which isn’t even a coffee-specific issue, and is both delightfully large and daunting. I’ve noticed in my time there are rarely issues of true lack of information or lack of finances or lack of support, but instead clogs in the system that prevent these things from being shared with equity. So, I suppose I care most about finding and supporting ways for information to be distributed as respectfully and responsibly as possible. I’d like to see investing and sponsorship extended to underrepresented markets. I’d even settle for witnessing folks taking their free time and using it to support coworkers and community members. I suppose this isn’t a very neat or concise issue, but most conflicts I encounter could be avoided with better systems of sharing and of support.

What cause or element in coffee drives you?

I’m not sure if I have a larger cause that motivates me that I could articulate well, so I suppose I’d have to simply say it’s the people of this industry that drive me. It’s so cliche, isn’t it? It’s just I’ve found most of the people I enjoy in this industry are the people working too hard to ask for help or for recognition, and few things light a faster fire under you than that.

What issue in coffee do you think is critically overlooked?

Something overlooked or grossly misrepresented? The autonomy of the supply side of the supply chain. Producers and exporters and “at-origin operations” are businesses, and often businesses maintained by folks with plenty of experience and understanding. The philanthropic side of the industry is beautiful, but often distracts from the personhood of supply-side participants. There is an incredible amount of respect in treating representatives of these businesses as capable and informed, not as helpless, uneducated people. Often times the best way to ‘honor the producer’ is to commit to the prices they name, pay them on time, and roast their coffee well.

What is the quality you like best about coffee?

I love the connectivity of this industry. We can maintain active partnerships with people all the way across the world because of the nature of the supply chains with which we work. There’s so much to be gained from the type of exchange of information across consumer markets and producing markets.

Did you experience a “god shot” or life-changing moment of coffee revelation early in your career?

Is it bad to say no? I certainly had moments in which I was impressed by a coffee, or surprised by what I tasted, but never anything that could be categorized as a “god shot.” My life changing moment came as a volunteer at Expo, when I realized people thought less of me because I worked for an ambiguous specialty coffee shop in Alabama. We roasted the coffee dark and weren’t afraid to mix more than two flavors in a latte; we were from the South, and for some reason that meant we mattered less. The lack of compassion really stunned me. But I’ve always been told, if someone says they’re hungry, the best way to know they eat is to cook them something and feed them. For every dismissive person I met, there was someone being dismissed, so being an attentive presence became very important to me.

I don’t work in coffee because I tried an amazing coffee that changed my life. I work in coffee because enough people were mean to me about things that didn’t seem to matter all that much, and I decided that needed to change, even in a small way.

What is your idea of coffee happiness?

One shift way back when at my first coffee job immediately comes to mind. We had just successfully implemented a “Hawaiian shirt Friday discount” where folks could get $0.25 off their drink if they wore a Hawaiian shirt into the store. I had a regular sitting at the counter, drinking his coffee, and telling us about the time he hitchhiked from South Florida to Alabama. I was dialing in the espresso for the day, and we had found the perfect Pandora station to play for our shift (I don’t even remember the station). It was a perfect combination of being with good people, drinking and thinking about coffee, and having a good time. It’s not a concise idea, but it’s what I think of.

If you could have any job in the coffee industry, what would it be and why?

As predictable as it sounds, I already have the only job I’ve ever wanted in this industry. I’ve always wanted to work with green coffee and supply-side logistics. Coming from a background of small, independent businesses means I am very aware of the things we could never afford. Now I get to help businesses access great coffees, sustainable partnerships, and whatever information they need—no matter the budget, no matter the business size. I don’t know if I’d do anything else in this industry besides what I do now.

Who are your coffee heroes?

Can I list them? I’m going to list them:

– Carllee Curran: because I have never witnessed someone maintain such fierce compassion, empathy, and fairness than her, especially in the face of the nightmare of coffee competitions in the US. She works so hard, and maintains such patience. She represents the type of character I want to have as a member of this industry: forward thinking, practical, fair, and compassionate.

– Sarah Barnett Gill: There are few people I respect more than this woman. She not only put up with me when I was an irritating little shithead, but also empowered me to learn about the industry and develop skill sets. She taught me how to roast coffee and taught me how to manage a cafe. She built a business out of thin air and entrusted me with a piece of it. Sarah is the leader I aspire to be, and our industry could learn so much from how she serves her staff and her customers.

– Ildi Revi: I feel like I only have to say her name and everyone will just sigh and say “oh yes, well of course.” Ildi is perseverance and endurance. No one supports people the way she does. She is one of the smartest people you’ll ever meet, and she uses that intelligence to empower other people to have a better understanding of their role in our industry. We owe so much to the hard work she’s put in.

If you could drink coffee with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

I know I’m supposed to name someone famous to impress people, but I really would only want to sit down and have a coffee with my friends Harry, Joey, and Trevi. We all used to work together in Alabama and have moved away from each other, but talk on the phone all the time. If I could pick anyone to share that kind of a moment with, it’d definitely be them.

If you didn’t get bit by the coffee bug, what do you think you’d be doing instead?

There was a time in my life where I thought I’d be a professional swimmer, so maybe that. If I ever leave coffee it’d be to work for or run an urban farm, because people have to eat and they should eat good food.

Do you have any coffee mentors?

They’re my coffee heroes (listed above). I might argue with them, but I’d do just about anything they told me to do

What do you wish someone would’ve told you when you were first starting out in coffee?

Success is not one-size-fits-all. Hospitality is more about meeting people where they’re at than it is about serving espressos with sparkling water on the side. You should fight for equity and not equality, even if one is harder to defend than the other.

Name three coffee apparatuses you’d take into space with you.

I would honestly probably just bring an auto-drip machine, a cup, and pre-ground coffee. I’d be in space! I’d probably be too busy eating astronaut ice cream to make a pour-over.

Best song to brew coffee to:

“Africa” by Toto or “Tu Amor Hace Bien” by Marc Anthony. I don’t make the rules, that’s just what I’d choose.

Look into the crystal ball—where do you see yourself in 20 years?

Hopefully outside in the sunshine.

What’d you eat for breakfast this morning?

Noodle soup.

When did you last drink coffee?

This morning.

What was it?

House coffee at Waffle House.

Thank you. 

The Sprudge Twenty is presented by Pacific Barista Series. For a complete list of 2019 Sprudge Twenty honorees please visit sprudge.com/twenty

Zachary Carlsen is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Zachary Carlsen on Sprudge. 

The post Sara Frinak: The Sprudge Twenty Interview appeared first on Sprudge.

from Sprudge http://bit.ly/2Hl5qCG

[trishgibsontx]

how I discovered my greatest joy when I was completely broke/in housing court, my “loved ones” abandoned me, and I had no idea where my life was going.

photo by my beautiful patient Babita Patel

it was one of the most difficult of times for me.

since high school, I would always describe myself as driven by my own passion, even when that passion didn’t work out. in fact, my passion didn’t translate well or at all in the outer world hundreds of times. and I mean it – hundreds of times. business ventures I wanted to start with others failed immediately post-college, I trusted the wrong people, blah blah blah. I always kept going anyhow. when the title of this blog post hit me in real-time, I had trouble accessing my drive and passion. because my life was in total shut-down mode. I was being told something by the Universe, but I couldn’t hear it so clearly.

there I was, nearly 10 years post college, and post corporate America in which I had had a “socially acceptable” job for a number of years in the finance sector. had I stayed, I would have made a lot of money. the month I left corporate for good, I had a serious job offer on the table. it was for a then-cutting-edge financial media company that actually went public just a few years later. the offer was me in at the ground level with a quarter of a million base. who knows, maybe I would have been a shareholder and cashed in when the company sold. I said no. I chose, instead, to continue working toward creativity and human service. this was a struggle, internally, and externally (always late on rent), but I was…HAPPY. then, I don’t know if it happened in one day or one week or one month, but making it on my own came to a close. a shut-down. it lasted on and off for about 2 years.

this 2 year period was nearly comical given all that I had done/”accomplished” in the past; because absolutely no one wanted to hire me for work. at the onset of this 2 year period of destruction, I had begun it with my own freelance company. I was also working several odd jobs as well. I worked part-time at a boutique dress shop in the east village. I lived on my favorite block. I rented out my 6×10 living room slash kitchen that was taken up by a twin bed, so that I could make my rent. I made concessions my friends cringed at. I played in a rock band and tapped into my creativity which was lovely. I worked on indie films in multiple roles. some of those films totally screwed me financially or otherwise. in fact I think there were about 3 horrible indie film experiences. several of them are not even on my resume. I organized major events (for film projects) and got stiffed on being paid. I quietly (and for free) did consulting readings for various people and practiced energy work on them – but I was too scared to come out of that closet publicly. I didn’t know how good I actually was, even though I had an inkling. it was more of the fear of being public than anything else.

then, suddenly, all of the side work stopped and no one wanted to hire me. NO ONE. I had thousands of email records, applying for various roles in absolutely every industry one could imagine: medicine, finance, administration, education, fashion, hospitality, beauty. usually the feedback was “you are overqualified” or “we don’t understand your focus”. quickly and surely, there was no money left for rent. my landlord showed up at my door when I had someone there for consulting work and asked for rent. I didn’t have it. it was awful.

housing court sucked, royally. hardly anyone I knew socially, except some family members, knew I was there, and I was too ashamed to tell. I was a white American woman with an education — how dare I end up there! — that is the response I was expecting (and the response I did in fact receive from some people), and in a way, I believed that I had no right to be in the position I was. I had skills…I spoke several languages…I was resourceful. yet, something was crashing. finally I stopped working at the dress shop and I couldn’t even afford to eat. that dress shop was my lifeline, and some asshole coworker (who admittedly thought I “had it all!”) set me up by repeatedly saying I left the door unlocked after my shift. it was her life’s dream, one day, to become a retail store manager.

one day, during my usual coffee shop job solicitation email binges, I met with a consultant friend of mine. I told him about what was happening and the shame was too great to share the whole story. but I said I might be in trouble with paying my rent, and that “things were slow”. he said “stop telling people everything is ok. tell them what is happening”. I thought, what a novel idea. it had been ingrained in me that if I wasn’t serving someone ELSE, or their needs, I did not even exist. so it was hard to say the truth. 5 minutes after my consultat friend left, the very next person who contacted me was someone I had been fond of and very supportive of over the years. he was nearly a quadriplegic. I never saw him like that. we would go out for drinks and I would push him around and he told me that I made him feel like he could walk. this person messaged me on facebook and said “hey, how are you?”. I told him. that I was facing housing court next week and I was in back-rent for 5k+. he said “no problem, you can be my muse and do some copy editing for me. I’ll pay you x per hour and take care of your housing court bill”. I said no immediately. the relationship I had with people “helping” me had always been a strings-attached scenario. never had anyone helped me just to actually help. I had also never borrowed money like that before. so I was scared that there was some agenda. I thought, what could this person possibly want? he can’t walk. we are friends. ok, I will say yes. it took me until the day OF court to say yes. he had already offered a handful of times. I knew part of my lesson in the situation was to accept help. I had always been made to feel as though I was a burden for needing ANYTHING, so this was hard. after I said yes, we went out for drinks. my “friend” proposed I take him to strip clubs and share sexual acts with him. part of me understood him, and part of me was destroyed. of course I would not entertain that. I saved our correspondence “just in case”. it took me longer than I thought it would to pay him back, and he became angry, abusive and stalkerish.

I continued to do as much side work as possible to eat and keep my phone on. I also realized, I was working for free most all of the time. I put my heart and soul toward productions, seed ideas for productions, I gave away free healings and consult, and more. I was an idea machine and I was not monetizing it. I didn’t realize at the time that it had everything to do with being afraid to monetize for my time. it was also an old pattern of being used and taken advantage of, but I did not see it. and I never ever saw myself as a victim. I hated victims or victim mentality. I actually still have little patience for that. so I suffered quietly. some side work, like assisting a wonderful voice teacher with her business development, was all I had integrity-wise and monetary-wise. I am grateful to have had Lynn Singer in my life during that time. I would go up on her beautiful doorman high-rise rooftop in Chelsea and imagine I was the person I am TODAY.

I kept looking for “real” jobs. I came up empty. I began walking the hyper pit bull that belonged to my next door Vietnam vet neighbor who could barely walk. he lived in one of those AMAZING old loft duplexes with a garage in the east village. I would clean his apartment, which was covered in dog urine and the scent of death from the previous owners of like 1975 – seriously, the entire front part of the duplex was still an old office from the 70s! he never cleaned it because it had belong to someone else. who apparently died. probably in that very room. one day I realized that he thought we were dating. he would pay me 100 bucks a visit and one day he tried to kiss me. I wasn’t afraid of him because he could literally not walk. but it just…no. God bless him. I stayed friendly. I didn’t go back. I sent holiday cards and called him once in a while. he was a special soul.

during much of this, I was ironically in surrender mode. I wasn’t crying. I didn’t complain at all. I knew in my core something spiritual was taking place within me, if only I could keep listening. I went to bikram yoga every day and did the work study program for free classes. I had a huge bag of oatmeal, a huge bag of pasta, and running water. I was good! I rented out my “living room” right next to my tiny bedroom to nice people I found on Craigslist as much as I could. finally, I decided that the only way I could feel of value was to volunteer, but in an actual volunteer position — not a working-for-free while being taken advantage of position. a REAL volunteer job, where the energetic balance was reciprocal. I knew also, that balanced energy monetizes in some way, and ultimately takes care of us. I began mentoring and creating curriculum for handicapped children and adults. I would ride the train to Brooklyn each week, and it was 90 minutes each way.

I will never forget one of my first days on the job. as I rode that train all the way out to the Hasidic parts of BK, my body began to buzz. head to toe. I began to burst with unconditional love in my heart. I wanted to cry, but with joy. when I would get to the classroom, I would teach different subjects with the resident psychologist. we got along amazingly well, and the mentally and physically handicapped children and adults took a special liking to me. one day someone in class learned how to write three letters freehand. they felt like they won a Pulitzer. their joy was palpable to the point of their own tears. I felt like I was choking to maintain my composure. THESE PEOPLE GAVE ME SO MUCH. more than I had ever been given in my entire life. things like this continued to happen. the buzzing high I got on the train increased, and I realized what the Universe was trying to tell me throughout the roughly 2 year period of my life’s collapse (again – it had collapsed before! just not to this degree in the physical world): “put your healing and consulting skills on the map. put it online. tell people. come out of the closet. if you do not do this, we will keep challenging you”. I was so afraid of how I would be judged, because this was the truest part of me. the ONLY part of me that actually mattered to me.

one day, as I sat in the middle of my living room with a broken laptop and no TV, in dead silence, with my cats, I asked — screamed — out loud, “what do you want me to do!?”. I knew. and yet I was scared. but I had no choice. the hundreds of emails per DAY that I was sending out went unanswered. the Universe didn’t care if I could make 6 figures plus based on my “degree”. it didn’t want me in a box, even though I was trying to fit. it didn’t want me producing film at that moment. it wanted me in my purpose, and I was too exhausted to question it anymore. I had a book called “Living In The Light” by Shakti Gawain, that was recommended by my then-new-friend Vanessa. she is now a holistic nurse or doctor. in the book, I landed up on one line that said something like “everything we need to take care of ourselves in the physical world is ALREADY WITHIN US”. it hit me that my degrees, my blah blah blah, meant nada. it was ok to “come out” with my inner gifts and behind the scenes work, and it was ok to monetize it. I marinated on that for a few weeks.

I thought of the palpable, life-altering joy I felt on those long train rides to Brooklyn, and how spirit literally entered my body. I thought of the dozens of screw-overs in film and entertainment, and other jobs I tried to do for people who lived only on ego. I thought of how my “best friend” at the time abandoned and criticized me for being “selfish” because I wouldn’t visit her out of state, and how other loved ones berated me via email and phone for being in the position I was. I thought of how I didn’t fit in anywhere, it seemed, and how no one even wanted me to wait tables (I had littered ALL of downtown with my photo and resume and hospitality experience). I thought of how I had stuffed my resume, photo and cover letter in every mailbox in my neighborhood that I could find, hoping someone would call me for work. I had tried everything, and nothing was changing — except somehow the increased awareness of INNER HAPPINESS (which had, obviously, nothing to do with my circumstances) and message of purpose (healing and consulting others).

in the midst of all of the above, I tapped into a joy that is ironic considering how awful things were. I was like a rubber band being stretched in both directions: on one end, my physical and “on-paper” life was a disaster — and on the other hand, I WAS SO FUCKING HAPPY (people actually thought I was a millionaire and would ask me for jobs, all during this time). I didn’t even know why I was happy. but it shot straight from my core on a daily basis. there I was, at the bottom of the barrel of life, no friends nearby, pretty much zero support, I felt like a loser, I thought the world hated me, everywhere I turned there was a villian or monster looking to take me for a ride, I could barely keep the lights on, I had nothing — except myself. and those train rides. and that joy that I shared with people who didn’t share some of my outer blessings, but they shared my inner blessings: natural love and joy. they were not driven by appearance or money or reputation. they just wanted to learn the alphabet. I learned, once and for all, what it was to just breathe and be so incredibly thankful for that. I maintained that gratitude for a ridiculous amount of time. and my life was never the same.

and so one day I put my practice on a crappy wordpress site with just a phone number, no photo and no bio… and the rest is history.

The post how I discovered my greatest joy when I was completely broke/in housing court, my “loved ones” abandoned me, and I had no idea where my life was going. appeared first on The Medical Intuitive Blog: Energy Medicine & Reiki Therapy By Elaine™.

from Trisha Gibson http://www.themedicalintuitiveblog.com/2017/04/28/discovered-greatest-joy-completely-brokein-housing-court-loved-ones-abandoned-no-idea-life-going/