#my contribution to the “papastarion” topic

[not-so-lost-after-all]

Wen was a delicate beautiful child with bluegreen eyes and silver hair. She was stern and serious for her age to the point people found her unsettling. But she had a way with words and a lovely voice. Other children never liked her much. Even auntie Shadowheart's boys merely tolerated her. It was alright though, she preferred the company of the adults anyway. She was spending most of her time with her parents and she loved them so, so much.

She knew what papa is since she remembered. Wen noticed mama has bite marks from time to time and asked her once if it's making her ill or if it hurts. Mama just kissed her forehead and told her not to worry, it's like just another cut. Since then, mama tried to hide the bite marks better. Wen read about vampires in the books and was confused because papa was not exactly scary, she just thought vampires are stronger and misunderstood. But sadly, Wen was born a mere mortal half elf, with neither mama's magical skill nor papa's abilities to fight.

Her papa disappeared for an entire week once and came back one night when Wen was already in her bedroom but she heard them. Mama raised her voice and hissed at papa that she was worried sick, what the hell was he thinking? He hushed her, probably hugged her and mama continued rambling for some time but her voice was quieter and quieter until it intertwined with his.

In the morning, Wen asked papa in tight voice and with tears in her eyes if it was because of her, because she was defective, she'll do anything to be like him. “Please, don't leave.” Papa grabbed her shoulders but spoke softly. “Little bird, don't you think you want to be like me. One day I'll tell you what it's like but now it would only give you nightmares. You are perfect as you are. If I leave sometimes, it's not because of you. It could never be because of you.” He sighed and put his arms around her. Even after that, he sometimes left to be alone but never for that long or without letting her and mama know.

Her parents dotted on her and tried their best to raise her but some months ago, shortly after her tenth birthday, she read about potions that can terminate pregnancy. It left her wondering if her parents really wanted her or... just did let it happen. When she pleaded with auntie Shadowheart to tell her the truth about it if she knows, the woman was both surprised and amused. “Aren't you too young to ask such things? Well... Let me just tell you that your mother was scared when she found out about you. She may look young but was almost eighty when she had you and didn't look forward to take care of a dhampir child or give birth to some dead abomination. I just said that I don't judge but if she wants to end it, I'd kill her if she ever tells your dad. They decided to have you and happy when they first saw you. You're their first child and almost certainly the last.”

Now Wen was trembling in her bed, both covered in sweat and shivering. Her parents were beside her bed, thinking she can't hear them in her state. “I could have turn her if...” That was papa but she never heard him speaking with such despair. Wen tried to open her eyes and saw him in mama's arms but she herself was barely holding it together, her eyes hollow and skin pale as marble. “Don't... don't even think about it. If the worst happens, I'll probably lose my mind but even that wouldn't be worth condemning you two to hells.”

Wen tried to fight falling asleep. She won't disappoint them, she loves them so much and she won't die and it was perfectly enough to make them happy. The last thing she remembers was auntie Shadowheart's hands on her forehead and cheeks. The next morning, she woke up with clear head and lungs and a singing heart...

[not-so-lost-after-all]

Fanfiction Master List

Baldur's Gate 3

Here are my favorite pieces of my writing about certain tragic vampire gremlin called Astarion:

There are worse things I could do (This little thing is inspired by Dicken's A Christmas Carol and visions of the past, the present and the future - all of them dark. After all, a romance with Astarion can go so horribly, horribly wrong...)

Moments before the distaster (Astarion and Tav having supposedly the last chance to have some fun time together AKA the missing opportunity to go on a date)

The rest is still unwritten (Astarion reunited with his family and leaving the past behing)

Astarion earns a princess... (and a brother who seems to be his unbroken mirror image)

Ascended Astarion and his consort. Make it hurt...

My Tav and Astarion and an epilogue to the epilogue

New memories with Tav are the counterweight to the two centuries of misery

The alternative version of the infamous scene at the docks

Something Halloween-y about ascended Astarion meeting the ghosts of his past

My contribution to the papastarion topic (yes, a daughter who looks like him, except she is mortal :D)

My Tav, Astarion and their big fight concerning the heated topic of Halsin

Tav breaking up with ascended Astarion (for the daily dose of angst)

A Song of Ice And Fire

Final veil (Buckle up because this isn't exactly a fix it fic but Jaehaera Targaryen gets a shot at happiness. Or, how I wanted to give the little queen a voice.)

A tale of wars and mercy (Aegon II and Alicent in the future, so spoilers for the series, obviously. Hurt but no comfort andvI mean it.)

[not-so-lost-after-all]

writing patterns tag game

Rules: list the first line(s) of your last 10 posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

tagged by @spacebarbarianweird ✨

Thank you! The oldest fic is from September 2023, so you can see I am not exactly prolific writer but seeing them again, I love my babies!

1. The rest is still unwritten (Astarion reunited with his family and leaving the past behing)

This night is the lucky night, Astarion thinks with a smirk - he's presentable enough to go to the city.

2. Astarion earns a princess... and a brother who seems to be his unbroken mirror image

He loves his brother, he truly does. Dalar is his twin, the other half of... whatever is left of his soul.

3. Ascended Astarion and his consort. Make it hurt...

The first year was the easiest. It was still easy to pretend.

4. Sweet and the very last scene of my Tav Esipre and Astarion during the events of the game

It was almost the hour of the wolf and most of her friends went to sleep.

5. His new happy memories with my Tav are the counterweight to the two centuries of misery

It was almost endearing, really. Astarion only slowly adapted to actually sleeping in beds.

6. The alternative version of the infamous scene at the docks...

Everything was quiet for a few precious moments. For the first time in weeks, her mind was in peace.

7. Something Halloween-y about ascended Astarion meeting the ghosts of his past.

He burned the palace down, that huge bloody reminder of his guilt, humiliation and stolen future.

8. My contribution to the papastarion topic (yes, a daughter who looks like him :D)

Wen was a delicate beautiful child with bluegreen eyes and silver hair.

9. My Tav Esipre, Astarion and their big fight concerning the heated topic of Halsin

This was a catastrophy... It started as a joke, though.

10. Tav breaking up with ascended Astarion (exactly as angsty as you think)

She thought she knew what she was doing, that they can make a deal with the devil and win again against all odds.

...

Anyway, I do not see much of a pattern. Except that lots of time I need to add the second sentence to the very short first one.