#my computer is flanked by amethyst and rainbow quartz

[petalfearrising]

A quick reflection on why I left Tumblr (and why I'm back)

Not going to be a long one (gotta save that energy for the MGR:R series), just a blurb.

I largely grew up on forums (okay, *forum*), and the shift to social media threw me the f*ck off. I went from seeing a regular cast of acquaintances almost daily to staring at an ocean of strangers. I didn't adjust well. I would crave that emotional connection with others and try to post (being funny, shooting ideas their way, answering questions), and almost immediately I'd shut down and disappear.

I've often said to folks in meatspace that "I don't use social media" because saying "I just follow a bunch of folks to observe their amazing artwork, one-sidedly engage with their philosophies and worldviews, and also [REDACTED BY THE ORDER OF TUMBLR]." I stopped using Facebook in 2015 or so yet kept the account active just to see whose birthday it was. I don't think I ever actually sent a tweet, save for one time I tried to send an idea to a game developer I liked before realizing that because I set my account to private they'd never actually be able to reply. And Tumblr? Not one post, hell I wasn't even interested in reblogging because I thought it wouldn't be worth it. Why would anyone follow me? No one knows who I am, I don't make art or participate in any specific fandom, and I don't thrive on negative affect enough to stir up sh*t and cause drama.

I eventually decided that this wasn't healthy for me. I deleted my Facebook and Twitter, but I kept my Tumblr simply because I did want to keep up with all the artists and fan creators I had accrued on my dashboard.

Then the Purge happened. Most of them had to flee to Twitter or other sites. *I* worried my Tumblr would get deleted anyway, so I went out on my own terms. Like a fool, I decided I'd try to recreate my Tumblr experience on Twitter (following people I found interesting and enjoying from a distance). It didn't work; eventually, I found myself having to actively stay away from Twitter to not get mired in the in-fighting, the uncertain future of the platform, and the absolute SPEED that misinformation and nontroversies spread across it. I kept wondering why I didn't leave, and I guess I just convinced myself that I wouldn't get anywhere.

About a week ago, I joked to my friends that I'd make a new Tumblr account if Elon Musk bought Twitter. Then it happened. And I? was excited? I wanted to write? I just... wanted to come back to Tumblr. I wanted to give Tumblr a real chance.

I also just lost all fucks to give. I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm just gonna write about whatever the hell comes across my mind.

Hope you all are ready for *checks notes*

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, Blaseball, trading card games, indie video games, board games, Mecha, D&D and other tabletop RPGs, trivia, and a fascination with the Satanic Panic and its continuous ripple through our present and future.

Aight, I'm done, you may resume scrolling.