#my cats always comforted me for as long as i can remember there wasn't a night that i cried and one of them wasn't right there with me

[blogurlname]

missing my dad and my cats everyday with no point in waking up or getting out of bed or doing anything at all hurts so badly

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Kinktober Day 7 - Spanking - CL16, MV1

Charles Leclerc X Max Verstappen X Reader

TW - Spanking, punishment, double penetration, Mean Max, Mean Charles, Bratty reader, squirting, degrading terms

WC 2300+

Y/N POV

"Please, Charles! Max isn't home right now," I beg Charles for the third time in the past 10 minutes.

"Amour, you know damn well he will have both of our asses red if he finds out. Which he will," Charles tells me.

"Fine," I say while getting up with an eye roll. I make my way through our Monaco apartment with Leo hot on my trail before I make it into our shared bedroom where I find Jimmy and Sassy both happily sleeping in their cat tree.

I make my way to Max's side of the bed where I grab my favorite vibrator before quietly sneaking into our guest room and shutting the door behind me. Double checking to make sure the door is locked before stripping myself completely and making myself comfortable on the guest bed.

I decided if Charles wasn't gonna make me cum cause he wanted to be good then I would take matters into my own hands and deal with the punishment later. That is if I even get caught.

I'm not even 5 minutes into my solo session when I hear the front door open and Max announcing his arrive.

"Im home, liefde," Max announces making my anxiety peak a bit knowing exactly what is going to follow as soon as he realizes where I have gone off to and what I was doing.

At this point it was too late to turn back so I might as well make the most of it.

"Where is Y/N?" I can hear Max ask Charles while I have the vibe firmly places against my clit. I whine out at the sound of my boyfriend's voice knowing even if I find a way to cum in such a short amount of time it won't feel half as good as it would if it was Charles or Max.

"She's mad at me," Charles replies back to Max. I can only imagine the confusion that is starting to set in for Max. It was rare for me to be mad at either of the boys and even more rare to disappear when mad instead of solving the problem before it could get any worse.

"What did you do to her?" Max asks making me smile a little but it quickly drops when I remember my ass is about to be at his mercy.

"She's needy. Like so fucking needy. She begged me no less than 5 times to play with her in like a 10-minute span," Charles informs Max.

"So where is she?" Max questions again not understanding why I suddenly disappeared. I normally just continued to beg Charles knowing he would eventually break.

"I'm sure in our room. She kinda just got up and left," Charles tells him honestly. It's like I can feel the wheels turning in Max's head because no less than a second later I can hear both of my men pass the guest room door straight into our room. Then back to my door where I'm sure now that they are focusing their ears, they can hear the soft hum of the vibrator.

"Y/N you have 3 seconds to open this door!" I hear Max's loud voice ring out, making my anxiety reach an all-time high. It's not the bad kind of anxiety but the kind you feel waiting for the best roller coaster in the whole park.

Knowing my punishment is already going to be bad enough I truly don't want to test him, so I clip the power off of the vibrator and rush to open the door.

when I get the door open I find Max with his arms crossed over his chest and Charles is just shaking his head knowing it's about to be a long night because of my actions.

"Get on the bed on all fours and wait for us," is all Max says which has me a little more confused than anything. Normally when I'm about to get punished Max takes matters into his own hands and physically moves me where he wants me to be.

"Give her 30," Max tells Charles as soon as I'm situated and my ass is in the air waiting for the punishment. I have my head turned so I can watch them and I can see the confusion written all over his face.

"Why?" Charles asks clearly not excited to be the one to hand out the punishment. While Charles did occasionally dominate me he was always more about pleasure not pain.

"She wanted to play with you, not me," Max tells him like it was the most simple thing in the world.

"Max, please. You always punish us," Charles tries to reason still not understanding why it had to be him.

"Charles, you know how she is when she's needy. She's going to find a way to cum with or without either of our help. You left her alone, so you're serving her, her punishment is your punishment for letting her be alone long enough to get a toy and lock herself away in another room," Max tells him finally revealing his plan.

"Please Max, I do not want to hurt her," Charles tells Max letting his dow eyes droop a little more than normal.

"She fucking loves this shit Charles and you know it," Max tells him. I can see from here Charles is really fighting with himself. He was the good boy and did everything Max told him but this was new for him. He had never once been the one to dish out one of my punishments and he was struggling to grasp at the idea.

"Color, Charles," Max finally asks seeing the same things I'm seeing. While it was technically still a punishment we made these rules because we enjoyed the dynamic and regardless of it being a punishment or not we had safe words for a reason.

"Green," Charles finally answers softly while making eye contact with Max.

I watch as Max makes his way to the bed where strips down into nothing before sitting right in front of me just out of reach.

"No. Stay there and watch me," Max says when I try to crawl closer to him so I can take him into my mouth. I just let out a loud whine before settling in and waiting for my other boyfriend to dish out my punishment.

The first slap to my ass rings out through the room making me whine at the sudden contact.

"1" I softly count. When I felt another one it was on my other ass cheek making me gasp.

"2" I continue my counting.

"She thought this toy could make her cum just as good as we can," Max says in a teasing manner clearly enjoying watching his loves play.

"No, I just needed -" But couldnt finish my sentence before another slap was issued on my ass. One that had more force than the other too. It took me by such a surprise I lost my breath.

"3" I gasp out when I finally remember how to breathe again. While this wasn't the hardest spanking I had ever received I wouldn't have known it wasn't my dutch boyfriend if he wasn't sitting right in front of me.

"Give her 5 in a row," Max informs Charles making it clear that while Charles might be handing out the punishment he was still the one in charge.

The next five spanks rang out in the room making me whimper at each one.

"8" I count again once Charles finishes the quick 5.

"Fuck, Charlie. Too much," I whine due to how rough he was being. I loved every moment of it, was just shocked at how hard he was spanking me.

"Shut up, Cherie," Charles replies back laying another group of 3 slaps on my glowing ass.

"11" I gasp in surprise looking up at Max to find the same look of shock on his face.

I can feel Charles rubbing my ass in a rough yet soothing manner before his hand left my ass before raining down on my ass again.

"12" I say right before I felt another one ring out.

"13"

"14"

"15" I gasp lightly falling forward on the bed from the force of each slap no longer having the strength to hold myself up.

"Give her a second," Max tells Charles sternly when he aggressively grabs my hips to sit me back up.

Max leans forward stroking my hair while I let a few stray tears fall at the pain.

"Color, liefde," Max asks me making sure I'm still enjoying everything.

"green, Maxie," I whisper out before feeling another slap on my ass.

"16" I continue counting just like how I was trained to do.

I feel another series of slaps on my ass all directed in the same spot making each one hurt more than the one before.

"20" I finally gasp once I catch my breath from the shock of it all.

I start to feel a series of spanks reign down one my ass all in different spots this time all the while Charles is lecturing me.

"I can't believe you're brattiness got me in trouble. I was the fucking good one, you were the damn slut and now I'm in trouble," Charles says while finishing out my punishment.

"30" I cry out once the abuse to my ass has finished. As soon as Charles steps back from my ass I collapse on the bed and start crying softly. Not necessarily from the pain but from the fact that I had gotten Charles in trouble with me even though he had done all the right things.

I feel myself being pulled into the arms of one of my boyfriends and only know who it is from their smell.

"Amour, it's done," Charles says softly making me whine into his neck and gripping onto him a little harder.

"I'm sorry Charlie. Didn't know I would get you in trouble too," I mumble into his neck making him laugh a little.

"It's okay amour. I kinda liked watching your ass glow a beautiful shade of red from my hands. Like my own little art piece," Charles announces clearly proud of the work he had done.

When I finally come back to earth completely I lean over towards Max and pull him in for a kiss which quickly turned into him pulling me out of Charles's arms and into his lap where he instantly sinks his hard cock into my tight pussy. He slid in with almost no resistance simply from how soaked I was.

It didn't take Charles long to join us by slipping behind me where I feel his fingers slip into my ass using my own arousal to make it slick.

"Oh fuck," I moan out when I start bouncing on both Max's cock and Charles's fingers.

"Cum, you little slut," Max tells me which has me instantly shaking from the intensity of the orgasm I was having.

I'm not even fully recovered before I feel Charles slipping his cock into my ass stretching me even more.

"Fuck," I scream out from the stretch and burn I was feeling. They both allow me a few seconds to adjust to their size before they both start moving in me.

"So fucking tight. We spend so much time in these holes and you're still as tight as the first time we played with you," Charles whispers in my ear making me moan.

"Such a little whore, taking two cocks like you were made for it," Max whispers in my other ear, sending chills down my spine from his dirty words.

"Our little whore is about to cum again," Max announces as if Charles didn't know.

"Cum for us, Cherie," Charles tells me which has me letting go and falling over the edge. I feel myself start squirting all over the three of us. While I'm still squirting I try to pull myself off of their cocks but Max holds me in place and continues fucking me in a brutal pace making all of my juice stray all over.

"Next time you cum, it's gonna be when we fill you up with our cum," Charles tells me making me shake.

At their pace, I can feel myself growing close faster than I would have liked.

"Close," I gasp between moans.

"5" Max starts both Charles and I's cum count down. It wasn't something we did all the time but when we did Charles and I loved it knowing by 2 or 3 we are both ready to cum.

"4, both you little whore better hold it," Max grits out making it clear that he was also on the same edge we were on.

"3" Max finally says after what felt like forever even though it was probably only a couple of seconds.

"Please, Max" Charles moans out making it clear he wasn't gonna last much longer.

"2, Charles, you better fucking hold it," Max grits out again continuing his brutal pace on my pussy.

"1, cum for me," Max grits out which has all of us falling over the edge together. I can feel cum filling my ass and pussy helping me ride out the most intense orgasm of the night.

Once we all come down from the high of our pleasure, I feel Charles slowly slipping from my ass making me whine own from the burn of it.

"Sorry, Cherie," Charles whispers out once he's fully out. He leans down and gives the back of my head a couple kisses.

I slowly start climbing off of Max's dick making both of us hiss in from the sensitivity we were both going through.

We give ourselves a couple of minutes to regroup our thoughts before we start our aftercare routine. Which consists of plenty of kisses, reassurance, a shower, and of course plenty of cuddles with our fur babies.

[cramathonn]

Hello! I see your rules and saw Seth on your list. I just got him recently and I wanted to ask if I can request something (a drabble or a oneshot, it's up to you) of our boyo. But let me give some idea worms first.

So, i heard somewhere that Seth is a Lynx thiren (unless I'm wrong, but looking at his thiren features, seems like his counterpart is from the Felidae family), and I researched that Lynxes can purr. So... imagine when reader (gender neutral) was petting Seth (or just give him some fluffy loving) he ended up purring because he's getting very comfortable

Sorry if it's kinda long! You can skip this if you want. It's my first time making a request 😅

This is adorable, anon

And don't worry, it wasn't that long! Throughout my writing history, I've gotten requests that are SO MUCH longer (and the context and worms are much appreciated). Also, I went to check his thiren subspecies and he's just a cat, not a lynx. Lynxes, while being felines, have considerably shorter tails when compared to other members of the Felidae family! Aka, bob cat short. So yeah, I referred to him as cat thiren in this little drabble, I hope you don't mind!

Hopefully you enjoy the sillies!

Warnings: none! Only fluff

Reader: gender neutral (no pronouns used)

Seth Lowell x GN!Reader

Purring

You and Seth were finally alone, relaxing inside the comfort of your shared apartment at Lumina Square. It was an exhausting day for the both of you, with either jobs sucking more energy out of you than usual.

While Seth insisted that you two asked for some food before ultimately sitting down to relax, you convinced him to do so later by bringing his head to your lap and starting to comb through his hair with your fingers. That immediately disarmed your beloved boyfriend and made his face flush red like a tomato. It didn't take long for his body to relax, the tip of his tail starting to slowly wag in contentment.

These small moments were the ones you adored most with him. Yes, you loved your walks alongside the riverbank, going out to run at the park or eat relax at the coffee shop, but this was perfect. Just the two of you, with you sitting on the couch while he had his head upon your lap, basking in each other's presence.

However, something was different this time. A noise, low and rumbly, echoing through your living room. You swore you didn't have any laundy today and you always checked all of your electrical equipment before having a chill couch session, so where was this coming from? You pay more attention to the sound, trying to pinpoint its origing. It was... Coming from beneath you? You looked down, now staring at the top of your boyfriend's head. His ears twitched every so often, leaning a bit backwards as a way to indicate how relaxed he was.

Wait, wasn't Seth a thiren? Specifically a cat one? The name of the noise coming from him was at the tip of your tongue and when you remembered it, the soft smile previously on your face widened slightly. He was purring. Seth, your uptight and slightly reserved boyfriend, was purring. The realization that he felt so at ease, so safe and comfortable in your presence to let his guard down enough to purr made your heart swell with contentment. You changed the way tou caressed the top of his head, which made him turn his head to the side so that he could look at you better, a curious look on his face.

"Everything alright? You changed how you were caressing my head... Not that I mind!"

He asked, voice much more relaxed than usual. It obviously still had that slightly loud factor that made his voice, well, his, but it was obvious to anyone who heard it that this man was calm and comfortable. You laughed at his inquiry, tangling your fingers in his silky white strands, combing through them.

"Oh, it's nothing, Seth. It's just that..."

You pondered for a second. Should you tell him? You worried that if you did he would go back to gaurding himself and stop allowing himself to purr around you, and you didn't want that! You wanted for him to feel free to relax and let his guard down, to allow himself to unwind and confide in you. However, knowing your lovely boyfriend, he'd think you were troubled with something, instead of just being deeply infatuated with his adorable noises. So you decided to simply say it.

"Well, you were purring"

You said, voice soft and filled with undeniable affection for Seth. His ears stood and tail flinched, immediately stopping its suave content swaying.

"O-oh, uhm, I'm sorry about that! It wasn't really meant to come out, it just kind of happens when I'm really relaxed... I'll make sure it doesn't happen again, I pro-"

There it was. Your sweet overthinker of a boyfriend thinking there would be a problem and that you would, most likely, think less of him for just relaxing and emitting natural noises. You made sure to cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"Seth, hey, it's ok. I don't mind the purring. I think it's cute! It shows me that you're comfortable enough around me to let your guard down and just... Relax, y'know?"

You said in an attempt to make Seth see your point of view. That apparently worked, seeing how his cheeks were now slightly pink and how his tail started to wag its tip once more. The thiren buried his face in your thighs, trying to hide how embarrassed your comment made him. But it also made him feel extremely giddy. You found his purring was cute? And, instead of ridiculing him for something that was natural, you were glad and happy that it meat he was comfortable around you? Heavens, what did he do to score someone as fantastic as you?

"I love you, Seth"

You said, continuing to caress his head and comb through his hair. At that, Seth turned his whole body to the side, hugging you as he shoved his face in your stomach, nuzzling your shirt.

"I love you too, (y/n)"

He answered, muffled by the fabric of your shirt. Seth's voice was soft as he allowed himself to relax once more, his purring returning and you could now feel its rumbling against you. The two of you remained there, you caressing his hair and him cuddling against your stomach. Yeah, you wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.

Written by Cramathonn, 29/09/2024

Concluded at 2:50pm

[mono-blogs-art]

The Loyal Pin Ep. 13

This episode was peak. Truly.

I needed to gather my thoughts for a while to talk about this episode because there was just so much. It's a whopping 75 minutes long, compared to the normal ~60mins that the episodes do, and they spent every minute of it cashing in on character work and payoff from the previous 12 episodes. I was pleasantly surprised because I didn't even think they would handle their breakup this well. It was so fucking good.

First and foremost this was a very Anil-focused episode, with Pin popping up here and there for some scenes but we didn't get much of her perspective - which I believe is true to the novel, and also my only "criticism" of this episode. At the same time, I wouldn't want to give away any of those minutes we spent with Anin to something else, it was really perfect the way it was.

And that is definitely deliberate. Because now that the cat's fully out of the bag, we have an open battlefield with almost nowhere to hide. And Anin has all her supporters come to see her. Her brother comes to apologize and comfort her. She visits her mother and has a heartfelt scene with her, once again making her feelings clear. Although Princess Alisa is not on board with the relationship, she still wants to support Anin - the problem is just that Anin is asking for the one thing she cannot get. Prik comes to apologize to Anin and they hug. Anan comes to see Anin again to comfort her some more. Everyone is on Anin's side, even if they don't agree with her, she has a whole following and family that just want her to be happy.

And Pin? She has no one. The only person she has, she has to sacrifice in order to not cause her harm. Within the hierarchy of the royal families, Pin's feelings, her body or even her life don't matter to anyone. The difference in scenes of Anin grieving VS Pin grieving really illuminates how alone and powerless Pin really is. A literal bird in a cage.

And that's the excellency of the episode for me: I feel deeply with both of the girls, and I understand exactly how they are feeling and why the breakup was inevitable. From Pin's perspective, her dating Anin was always going to be temporary, because she knows that if the time came, she could never defy authority and choose not to marry. As an orphan and "noble commoner", a noble of the lowest rank in the palace, she's been keenly aware of her powerlessness and rank etiquette her entire life. She's basically a servant. Although she made a promise with Anin and dared to dream about their future for just a bit, Princess Patt made her remember her place. So the only way to protect the person she loves is to sacrifice herself. Anin on the other hand is the King's favourite child, a high ranking Princess and the only daughter the family has. She was never going to marry for love, just like her oldest brother wasn't allowed to. And in this episode, the reality of that finally hit Anin. She's a woman, and although everyone loves her, in the end, she's expected to marry a man and have children, and that is the top priority for her. Her job, her studying abroad, her passion, her mannerisms and shenanigans don't matter and are always policed by the rest of her family. The power she thought she had by cleverly playing people to her advantage, and being just so damn kind and sweet that people will just naturally be on her side, that power has its limits, and she has reached it.

That's the core of the tragedy. Anin loves Pin, and Pin loves her, so ardently and deeply that they would give up everything for each other. And they know that the other is sincere about their feelings. Anin doesn't even hesitate to renounce her title, and Pin gives up her body and heart to marry Kuea. All just so the other doesn't get hurt. But that's where the two of them are different: Anin gives up her privilege, because she thinks she can be with Pin that way. No princess title, no princess responsibilities, right? But it's simply not true, and the hardest realization Anin has this episode is that she's been just stupidly naive this whole time. Pin on the other hand is extremely aware of the consequences Anin would face if she gave up her title, so the only way to prevent that is to take away what Anin wants, which is her. Anin gives up everything to not lose Pin. But when Pin gives up everything, it's only to not have Anin lose herself.

It drives me so insane how they care so deeply that they are willing to sacrifice it all but still it ends in heartbreak, no matter what. The reality of misogyny and class discrimination came in full force, something the show up to this point has only vaguely alluded to with Patt's disciplining and Pin's general worrying about, well, everything. But now even Anin is aware of her position, and her responsibilities, where before she was living in her own little dream world she thought she could expand forever and everyone would just go along.

The confrontation between Anin and Pin after Pin agreed to marry Kuea is just so good and heartbreaking. "I'm just a human, like you, made of flesh and blood and a heart that can break." Pin's betrayal hit deep and Anin doesn't understand it. Pin can only see what she sacrificed, and not that from Anin's perspective, she has given up and betrayed their love.

And truly: Anin is better than any of us. Certainly better than me. Because she is ugly sobbing and quietly fuming with anger but she doesn't lash out. Not at her dumbass middle brother, not at her mother, not at Princess Patt, barely even at Kuea. She is not petty, she is not hurting anyone, she's not even dropping any of her responsibilities as a princess. She even fucking shows up to the engagement party, performs her duties as Princess, and gives Pin back the silver hairpin. Oh my fucking God. You are so good and kind and any lesser show would have made you do something so messy and reckless but she didn't. She's minimizing the damage as best she can, while also trying to leave as much room for her own feelings as possible, isolating herself to her room above the others. Giving back the silver hairpin to Pin's golden hairpin? That's even a declaration of hope. If we can't be together, then at least let our hairpins be together, like they were destined to be. YOU ARE CRAZY!!!!!!!!!

So really, these are some (but definitely not all) of my thoughts, because there's just so much to talk about that came to fruition in this masterclass in angst of an episode. The acting was top-tier this episode from every character. You could even see cracks showing in Auntie Patt's facade - I wonder which route they will go with her. I hear exciting things about next episode and that it might focus on Pin more again, so I'm really excited! This show just gets better every week, only 3 episodes left - what will I do when it's over?!

[spicerackofblorbos]

Sapphire | Leon Kennedy x bartender!fem!reader

☾ summary ➼ part II to Amethyst, you invited Leon to stay the night after he kindly drove you home in the dead of night. Long-hidden feelings finally reveal themselves in a passionate heated exchange.

☾ content/warnings ➼ fluff, canon world, mutual pining, SMUT (18+), p in v, oral (m and f recieving), unprotected sex, afab!reader, adult language

☾ wc ➼ 6.5k

After making sure his car was locked, Leon follows close behind you as you step up the few stairs to your front door. Luckily you were smart enough to turn the porch lights on before leaving – though that seemed like where your luck had run out for the day.

You are quick to insert your key and turn, pressing down on the handle at the same time so that the old door opens with a groan. You are instantly hit with a burst of warmth from the dimly lit interior, creating goosebumps down your arms.

"Do you live by yourself?” Leon asks behind you, his blue eyes trailing around the small area of your house he can see.

"Yes and no." You say simply as you carefully tug your keys from the door handle. A large yawn escapes you as you step over the threshold, Leon on your heels. He makes sure to close and lock it securely for you with a few clicks.

"What does that mean? You don't have any family members hiding so they can get the jump on me and chop me up, do you?" Leon watches you slide your work shoes off before tucking them neatly into a shoe rack at the base of the stairs leading up to who knows where.

He makes sure to do the same, placing them by the rack as there wasn't any room. From what he could tell, every pair of shoes was the same size, so either you lived alone, or your family had the same size shoe.

"Nah, that's a few houses down." You joke from down the hall. Leon follows your voice to find you digging into a small closet full of spare bedding and towels. The way you had bent down gave Leon a full view of your curves, and he forces himself to look away.

When you find what you were looking for, you clutch them to your chest and turn around. Leon is a lot closer than you thought he’d be, causing you to squeak in surprise. Your face heats up in embarrassment.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were there.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry.”

Both of your statements come out in unison, followed by some light laughter. You remember in the beginning of your friendship with him, he rarely laughed or even cracked a smile. The day he did both was a small victory that you hold onto even now.

And you never got tired of hearing and seeing them. The way Leon laughs is so endearing to you. His sapphire eyes half close, the creases by his eyes scrunching. The laughs were always deep and rumbling, a soothing sound to your ears.

“No one here but me… and Matilda.” You say, looking past Leon to the small black cat that sat on her haunches at the end of the hall. Her pale-yellow eyes watch Leon, half with curiosity and the other half with caution.

You don’t catch the way Leon’s eyes widen at the name, a familiar one to him that he hasn’t heard in a while. He turns around to face the little creature, giving her a small wave and smile.

“Well, at least you have someone to keep you safe.” Leon says, twisting back to face you again.

“She’s the most ferocious guard cat you’ll ever see.” You chuckle as you brush past Leon towards Matilda and the base of the stairs. The subtle hint of aftershave and sandalwood tickles your nose as you do, and you find yourself breathing in a little deeper to hold on to the scent before it inevitably disappears.

“I have a couch down here, but honestly, you’ll be more comfortable in my living space up here.” You continue. You watch as your shy cat runs off towards the kitchen as you approach.

When you make it to the top of the stairs, you’re faced with your little living space. The previous owners had originally used this as an upstairs studio but since you were the only human in the house, you turned it into an office and living space. Your own personal haven.

On the left of the room is a lush L-shaped sofa, littered with various soft blankets and pillows – your favorite napping spot. A small coffee table separates that side and the other where a mid-sized flat screen sits on top of a little media center. On the back wall is a small window overlooking the backyard, curtains and blinds closed as they always were when you were gone for work. And right next to the couch is a full bathroom, the door half open and decorated with your favorite colors.

Considering this is the room you spend the most time in, it’s very personalized to you. Leon couldn’t help but trail his eyes over every part of this room, noting every piece of your personality splayed out. His gaze finally lands on the bookshelf next to the media center, full of the trinkets and gifts he’s given you. He smirks as he makes his way over to them, eyeballing the glittering prizes and remembering exactly when and where he retrieved them for you.

“This shelf will be worth a fortune one day if you keep this up.” Leon teases.

After placing the bedding and towels down on to the coffee table, you turn to watch Leon as he leans towards the shelf to take a closer look. The way his back muscles ripple in his moistened shirt sends tingles through your body.

It’s not like you’ve never seen his muscles, but without the low lighting of the bar and closer proximity than usual, you can’t help but marvel at his whole physique. With every shift in weight, the thin cloth of his shirt tightens and loosens around his strong shoulders. You avert your eyes quickly when you notice he's about to turn around.

“Well, that’s if I decide to sell them. But I could never. They’re gifts, after all.” You walk back over to the top of the stairs and turn to face him before stepping down, your palm lightly placed on the half wall separating the stairs and the upper floor.

“That bathroom is all yours. I think I have some clothes that might fit you, I just need to find them first.” You purse your lips then start for the bottom floor, leaving Leon to his devices.

Leon watches as you descend until you’re out of sight, then sighs through his nose. He grips onto the towels and heads into the bathroom you had pointed out, shaking his head of the thoughts that swirl in his mind as if that would do anything to help.

It doesn’t take him long to strip out of his wet clothes and step into the shower, shivering from the sudden change of temperature on his skin. As the warm water cascades down his sore and worn-out body, he mentally kicks himself.

He shouldn’t have taken you up on your offer. He’s crossing a boundary he had long promised himself after the first month of being your regular – letting himself get close to you. It’s not like he didn’t want to be close to you, far from it, actually.

What he feared the most was getting you into danger because of the nature of his job.

Leon didn’t know if his next mission would be his last. Not to mention, if he were to finally indulge you with information of what he did on his ‘business trips’, it could put you under the government’s spotlight. That was something he couldn’t dare let happen, not to someone as precious to him as you were.

While stepping out to dry off, his mind stays clouded with those negatives, but even so. Thoughts of you break through like rays of sunshine and he finds it increasingly harder to talk himself out of the what ifs of a real relationship. What would it mean to not only kiss you softly but to also grocery shop with you? Every single mundane thing he could think of would be miles better having you by his side.

A soft knock brings him back to the present.

You watch as the bathroom door slowly opens in front of you, a little bit of steam escaping through the crack. Leon stands in the doorway, half covered with a towel wrapped around his lower body. Droplets from his dark blonde hair fall onto his bare shoulders and chest. You knew he was muscular but this…

You blink a few times as you gather yourself and meet his eyes, feeling the heat of not only the steamy bathroom but from shyness radiating into your cheeks. In your arms are some clothes you had struggled to dig out, about Leon’s size you hoped.

“Uh, here.” You say quickly, shoving them in his chest before stepping back a few feet. “Let me know if you need something else or they don’t fit. I’m sure there is some of my grandfather’s stuff around here. I just didn’t think you’d want to dress like an old man.” You ramble and laugh nervously, averting your gaze from his figure.

“Thank you, I appreciate this.” Leon says with a grin, pretending he didn’t notice your reactions for your sake. A few witty lines dance around his mind, but he bites his tongue.

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll be downstairs if you need anything.” You say quickly before awkwardly turning and heading down the stairs.

Despite it edging towards six A.M., you find yourself brewing a pot of coffee after a quick shower of your own, now wearing an oversized sweater and sleep shorts in place of your work ‘uniform'. While the bubbling sound of the coffee maker fills the kitchen space, you find yourself leaning against the kitchen island facing the backyard. The sky is starting to turn a dark navy blue, signaling the oncoming morning.

“Coffee at this time of night?” The sudden voice startles you, your body standing up straight and spinning around quickly.

Leon stands in the archway that connects the kitchen to the hallway, arms crossed over his chest and eyebrows raised. At first glance, the clothes you had provided him with were a size or two too small. The band t-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders and chest, sitting flush like his wet shirt had in the car. The joggers were a few inches above his ankles and hugged tightly around his thighs and…

You turn to face the coffee pot and watch as the last few blackened drops fall, pinching your lips tightly at the sight of the subtle outline of his lower body.

“Well, technically it’s the morning.” You reply simply, fighting to keep your voice steady.

You hear Leon’s heavy-set footsteps as he walks into the kitchen, then the squeak of wood on the wooden floor as he pulls out a chair at your island, settling into it. You busy yourself by opening the cupboard above you and grabbing two mugs.

“How do you like your coffee?” You ask, your back still turned towards him. You pull down your sugar container then step to the fridge to grab your creamer.

“Black, please.”

You take a moment to pour the steaming liquid into each mug, doctoring yours up the way you like it first. With both in hand, you turn towards where Leon sat and place his coffee in front of him.

“It's not the greatest coffee.” You warn before taking a careful sip. The cream smoothed out the bitterness.

“It'll suffice.” Leon says, picking up his own.

The house is quiet now, awkwardly so. When you had suggested him to stay for the night (morning?), you didn't really think past that. Here you two were – one sitting and the other standing, on opposite sides of the island. A few birds chirp morning greetings outside the window, and the sky looks a little brighter.

Your eyes slowly trail around Leon's face as he stares out the window. You're only given a side profile, but it's enough to marvel at his handsome features. His sharp jaw, dimpled chin, long eyelashes.

He gives you a side eye as he takes another sip.

“Your eyes are glazing over.” Leon says with a small amused huff.

“It's been a long twenty hours.” You shrug, peeling your eyes away.

“We should probably go to bed, then.” He lightly suggests. Leon leans back and stretches in his chair, the small shirt riding up his stomach and showing a trail of light brown hair disappearing under the jogger's waistline. You didn't mean to look, but you did.

“Y-yeah. We probably should, huh?” You say, setting your cup down. That's as far as your body moves, though.

You watch Leon stand up, grab his mug, then walk over to your sink to set it down. His shoulder brushes against yours on his way back, and the sudden sensation sends a shiver down your spine. Just like in the car earlier, your mouth opens before thinking.

“Leon?” You call to him just as he's about to pass under the archway. He turns around to face you, eyebrows raised.

You take a few steps closer to him, your heart beating so strong in your chest that you worry Leon could hear it. When you're a foot away from him, you falter with your lips parted as if you were about to say something.

“Everything okay?” He looks down at you with softened eyes, his now damp hair falling into his face.

“I just… um. Look, there’s something I want to tell you but I-"

You're cut off by Leon leaning down to close the already small gap between you two, his warm lips pressing against yours. It takes you a moment to register the sensation of it all, even less time to melt into it. Your eyes flutter closed, unconsciously closing the rest of the distance. Leon's arm snakes around your waist and pulls you into his warm chest while his tongue slides along your bottom lip before parting them.

Your head spins as you grip onto his shirt, your senses overloading from how he feels to how your body reacts to him. The kiss grow hungrier, and the heat in your stomach grows hotter. It only takes until you’re fighting for air that you have to pull away. Leon's cheeks are bright red, his wide blue eyes contrasting against them. Both of your chests rise and fall rapidly in attempt to catch your breaths.

“I'm sorry.” Leon whispers, pulling away a little. He arm doesn't release you though, and you don't fight to leave.

“N-no, that was..” You’re a little dizzy but focusing on Leon’s body helps you from losing grip.

“You were in the middle of saying something and I cut you off.”

It could have been the shot nerves, or the look that Leon gives you, but you can't help but laugh. Your body shakes in his arms as you do, your head thrown back. You've been crushing on him for so long, but you still could never read the stoic faced, dry commenting Leon Kennedy. To have him kiss you first was like someone had cut the ropes that restrained you for so long.

Freeing.

“I don't know what I was going to say.” You say, your laughs dying down to small giggles.

“Can I do that again?” Leon asks softly. That impassive, hardened face of his transformed into that of a puppy in such a short time span, how could you say no?

Nodding your head yes, he leans down again, slower this time. As his lips meet yours again, you're more than ready this time. As your lips moved against each other, that heat in your core burns again, radiating warmth throughout your entire body.

The kiss turns as hot as your body. You feel Leon pushing up against you, and before you know it, you're backed into the archway. The light impact elicits a small gasp from you, escaping into Leon's open mouth. Your hands rest against his chest with your nails daring to dig straight into his covered skin.

Leon's large hands travel down from your waist to your hips, his fingers squeezing into your plush skin gently. You're practically sandwiched between his stone-like body and the wood behind you, but you don't care. Your hands slide up his muscular chest so that your arms can wrap around Leon's neck. Shaking fingers slide up into his dirty blonde hair and you can't help but tangle them into the strands and tug gently.

A soft whine comes out of him when you do that, the quick jerk pulling his lips away from you. Those ocean eyes of his open and look down at you with a dark expression. Despite that though, when he speaks, his voice comes out soft.

“Is this okay?”

“I'm not complaining.” As you grin, your fingers tug on his hair again, reveling in the reaction you get from him as you do.

“Careful.” Leon warns, his tone dropping slightly.

“Or what?” You tug again.

Leon doesn't even respond, he just steps back and effortlessly picks you up by the waist with both hands. He throws you over his shoulder and starts for the hallway, you squirming and laughing against his back.

“Which door?” He asks, stopping at the end of the hall where he's faced with two doors.

“The left one.” You say through choked giggles.

Leon pushes your door open with ease, one of his arms holding tight around your thighs to keep you safely in place. The light switch flips on with a click and your cozy bedroom illuminates in front of him. He doesn't take a moment to look around though, he's more focused on something else. Someone else. You.

He flips you down on the bed onto your back, a few of your decorative pillows and plushies falling to the floor from the impact. The way you look up at Leon with warm cheeks and a shy smile is enough to make him crack his own lopsided grin.

“You’re breathtaking.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, handsome.”  

Sitting up, you reach over to grab Leon by his shirt and start pulling him down with you. He crawls into the bed, his lips meeting yours once again as you both slowly fall into the bed together. He has both hands propped up on each side of your head, holding himself up so he doesn’t crush you with his weight.

Your fingers tighten in the thin cloth while kissing back, savoring every bit of him in your mouth. Leon’s lips break away and slowly start to trail kisses down your jawline and neck. Your head tilts back into the soft sheets so he has better access and as you do, a soft sigh escapes you.

As Leon's lips reach your collar bones, he runs one of his hands under your sweater and squeezes your side softly, appreciating the warmth and softness of your skin. His hand continues upward, your sweater pulling up with it. The blatant absence of your bra lets Leon's big hand cup your breast easily, filling his calloused palm.

Your hands were just as busy, both of them under his too small shirt and feeling the ridges and dimples that came with his muscular torso and stomach. His body seems to be burning just as hot as your own. As your hands travel down, your fingertips find the waistband of his pants. You tug gently, getting a small chuckle out Leon.

Leon breaks away to look at you, his face hovering over yours and his blonde hair tickling your forehead.

“Impatient, are we?” He teases, moving his hand away from your chest and back down to the soft part of your stomach. Before you can answer, he slides off the bed and stands at the end of it, towering over you. In one swift move, Leon's strong hands grip you by the waist and pull you to the edge of the bed as well, your ass barely on the mattress. The movement makes you gasp, your eyes no doubt full of surprise as well.

His fingers trail light touches down your legs and thighs before slowing at the hem of your shorts. He looks down at you expectantly, as if waiting for you to stop him. You don't, instead you hook your thumbs at the hem of your sweater and tug it up over your chest. It takes you a moment, but you're able to pull it all the way over your head and off completely, tossing it on to the floor.

Leon chuckles above you, an eyebrow raised but he's no doubt staring at your plush chest and curves.

“Oh shut it, Kennedy.” You say before flopping on your back again, arms raised above your head.

“I didn't say anything.” Leon pulls your legs up to where your ass is flush to him now, and you can feel how hard he is for you. He places a soft kiss on your ankle before slowly going down your leg. With each kiss, he slides down to the floor so that he's kneeling and at eye level with your clothed heat. Your thighs now sit on top of his shoulders and you can see Leon's mischievous stare aimed at you.  

He doesn't hesitate to lean forward and nose into you gently, feeling how warm you are. Leon inhales a bit as he squeezes your soft thighs in tight fingers, your sweet scent nearly driving him crazy. After pulling away slightly, one of his hands gently palms over your sensitive core. Your hips reflexively buck up, pressing yourself more into his hand. The quick friction of it causes a soft moan to leave you.

It had been a while since you’ve been touched like this. That and the addition of it being someone you had vied after for so long makes you want to come undone on the spot.

A huff escapes Leon while watching you, pleased by how you react so easily to him. With a long finger, he hooks it around the thin cloth of your shorts and panties and pulls it to the side. Leon groans at the sight of your pretty pussy, glistening with your arousal, ready just for him.

Leon likes to tease. You feel his hot breath pat against your exposed heat, and you let out a small whine in frustration. However, out of shyness, you hide your face by crossing your arms over your head.

“Hey now,” Leon says softly, reaching up to grab your forearm and tugging it down gently so that he can see your face. “don't hide. I want to see your pretty face while I taste you.” He gives you another lopsided grin and you flush even more. You nod and remove your arms, opting to prop yourself up on your elbows so you both had a better visual on each other.

He places his lips on the soft inside of your thigh, lightly nipping at your skin. Slowly, he trails his tongue down until finally, his lips just barely ghosts on your already swollen clit. A few seconds pass and then his warm mouth envelopes you entirely, the tip of his tongue slowly lapping at your folds. He can't help but moan softly, the vibrations of it resonating to your core. You taste just as addictive as he thought.

Leon pulls away which causes you to whimper, and you eye him with a pout as he looks up at you. He just meets you with a sly smile.

“You're still wearing way too much.” He says before grabbing the waistline of your shorts and pulls them down roughly, taking your panties with them. In a single fluid movement, he slides them down your legs and over your feet, tossing them to the floor behind him. His rough hands grip your thighs and push them down onto the bed, gentle yet firm enough that you couldn't move them even if you tried.

You watch as he doesn't hesitate this time to dive in, his tongue dipping into your slick, the tip of his nose pressing against your clit. As his tongue moves, your head is thrown back in bliss as soft mewls escape from your lips. Instinctually, your hips buck but that's as far as you can go. Your legs strain against Leon's strength.

Your fingers make their way into his soft hair, tangling and tugging. Groans vibrate against you once again, adding to the friction against your most sensitive spot. It doesn't take long for the sensations to overwhelm you, your toes curling into the sheets just as your fingertips did in his scalp.

Suddenly, Leon pulls away slightly only to insert a finger into your tight warmth. As he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you, his mouth envelopes your clit once more, sucking ever so slightly. He doesn't stop there, the tip of his tongue making kitten licks as he does.

“Le-Leon I'm gonna..” You can't even get your words out, the rest of your words coming out in choking syllables. Instead, you tighten your fingers into his soft locks, tugging and pushing yourself more into his mouth as you chase your high.

Leon doesn't stop, not after you're moaning his name with your head thrown back and your nails digging into his scalp nor even when you're gushing hard into his mouth as your orgasm hits you like raging waves on ocean rocks.

You fall back onto the mattress with heavy pants and closed eyes as you feel your ecstasy fading away. From the front of the bed, you hear a low chuckle from Leon. Your left eye peeks open and you peer down to see Leon watching you with a smug smile.

“I bet you're pretty proud of yourself, huh?” You laugh, raising a hand for Leon to take.

“As a matter of fact, I am. You did so well.” Leon takes your hand and pulls you up into a sitting position right in front of him. The words he used sends shivers down your spine, and you can't help but smile up at him.

“Well, it's my turn.” Without hesitating, you reach over and palm over Leon's not-so-subtle erection, tucked in so tight under the cloth that it must hurt. The moment you make contact, Leon sucks in a bit of air, already so sensitive from what he just did to you and the noises he got out of you.

Moving your hand up his length, you reach the waistline of his joggers and tuck in a few fingers before gently yanking down the thick fabric, taking his boxers with it too. His cock springs free, the tip angry red and glistening with sheer pre-cum, all because of you.

“Christ, Leon…” You mutter softly. With one hand, you're pulling his pants down while the other wraps around Leon's girth, feeling the heat and ridged veins against your soft palm.

You don't miss the way Leon's soft sighs come out of his parted lips as he stares down at you, his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly and his gaze intent on your pretty face.

Slowly, you scoot towards the edge of the bed so that you’re sitting with your legs dangling and Leon standing right in the middle. You lean forward and flick your tongue up the little slit, gathering the drop of pre-cum in your mouth and then wrapping your lips around his head, savoring him.

The slight gasp from Leon sends a wave of arousal from your head down to your toes and you can't help but smile around him, your eyes meeting his darkened gaze. His hand reaches up and gently grabs a fistful of your hair then guides you up and down his cock, unconsciously bucking his hips so that you take in even more of him. It doesn't take long for your jaw to get tired from his size, but even still you take him all.

When you look up with watering eyes, you note how Leon has his own eyes closed from bliss, with his lips parted allowing soft pants to escape. The way his cheeks flush bright pink to the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead, you love it all. It fuels your need to suckle on him even harder, your tongue swirling around him at every chance you can.

Before you know it, Leon pushes your head away, a trail of saliva connecting your tongue to his throbbing cock. You look up at him curiously but before you can really get a good look, he's leaning down and effortlessly picks you up by the thighs so that you're pressed up against his chest lest you want to fall backwards.

In one fluid motion, he's twisting so that his back is facing the bed and then sitting on the edge of it in the spot you just were. You get the hint quickly and find yourself sitting on your knees on either side of his thighs, your arms wrapped around his neck and his large hands holding you up by your ass.

There's a moment where he just looks at you, making sure that you're okay with this. You answer the only way you know you can, by lining his hard cock with your slick entrance and slowly sliding down on him.

The way your warm walls hug around him is almost too much for the both of you. With this position, he's deep inside, his tip almost kissing your cervix. You don't move for a moment, letting yourself stretch to his size. Leon doesn't hesitate to capture your swollen lips in another kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth and tangling with your tongue.

One of his arms wraps around your back while the other sits on your plush hip, his well manicured nails digging straight into your flesh. With that, he helps you move up and down on his length, and from there rapidly building moans escape you both.

Using the leverage from your knees, you're able to bounce up and down on him. He helps as he continues to kiss you hard, holding you up so that you can keep riding him easily. Breathy moans make you break away from his mouth, more trails of saliva connecting you both before splitting.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” Leon moans out, resting his hot forehead on your shoulder as you gyrate your hips on him. Every roll creates friction on your clit and you can already feel a massive wave of pleasure about to wash over you.

Leon can tell too just by the way your breathing comes out ragged, how your moans pitch higher, and how your movements become sloppier as you chase that high once again.

“Cum for me.” Leon grunts out, his arm that wraps around your waist tightens as he holds himself up with his other arm, giving him leverage to thrust up into you hard. That was it for you.

The dam that welled now broke and you came hard on top of him. As your body spasmed in his hold, your teeth find his shoulder and bite down as you moan his name, muffled and broken up.

He doesn't cum yet, because he's not done. He's waited so long for this, and he wants one more orgasm from you.

There's not a moment to breathe as he stands up, his hard cock popping out of you, and quickly he twists back facing the bed. He gives you a long, lingering kiss before tossing you onto the bed again.

Despite the post-orgasm dizziness, you can't help but laugh out loud on impact, staring up at him with a bright grin and wild eyes. He gets on the bed and crawls over to you, the bed frame groaning from the shifts in weight.

Leon leans over you, his blonde hair tickling your face once more. He lowers himself down to kiss you again, this time slower and sensually. As he moves his lips against yours, he spreads your legs under him and hooks your leg in his elbow so that he can push your knee closer to your chest.

Your lips are locked in his when he pushes his way into your dripping pussy, filling you up once again. As he does that, a sharp gasp escapes into his mouth from the sudden change, only to transform into a low moan.

Leon's lips trail down your jaw and neck as he slowly snaps his hips against you, the smacking of skin and breathy moans filling the empty spaces of your house. His teeth find purchase against your sensitive skin, eliciting the sweetest noises Leon's ever heard in his life.

His lips trail down further, nipping at your collarbone then down to your breasts. He licks one of your hardened nipples before taking it into his mouth and sucking gently. His teeth bite down a little making you gasp from the mixed pleasure and pain. He releases it before going back up your shoulder, grunts of effort escaping his parted lips.  

“God, you're perfect.” He moans against your neck before going in to suck on it, no doubt leaving a mark there for later.

Your hands slide up his sweaty chest and around his back, digging your nails straight into those back muscles you loved so much. You don't know if you're drawing red, but you certainly felt like you were by how tight you were holding on to him. As if your life depended on it.

He continues to fuck you into the bed, his grunts and moans coming out broken. You could have sworn you heard a little whine in there too, which only pushed you closer to the edge of your climax.

Leon releases your leg and lets it fall to the bed so that he can unwrap your arms around him and in one hand, he takes your wrists and flips them up above your head, holding you down as he pushes himself into you more, groaning as he picks up his pace.

“Fu-fuck I'm not going to last any longer..” He groans out as he rests his forehead on yours, both of your sweat mixing as his hot breath fans on your face.

“P-please cum in me.” You moan, wrapping your legs around his waist to hold him closer.

“Are you sure?” The look of hesitation flickers across his face before he notices how desperate you were for him. Then it turns into a wicked grin, loving the sight of you taking him so well and wanting more.

“Please!”

“Say it again.” That sweet begging voice of yours, he needs it. He snaps into you roughly, his fingers tightening around your wrists as he does.

“Please cum in me, L-Leon!” At this point, your words are slurring from being love-drunk, tired and fatigued but you don't want to stop until you're both finished.

Leon doesn't ask again, and as he feels that winding string about to break in him, he leans down and catches your mouth again, moving his lips against yours heatedly and just like that, you both let go.

Your legs tighten around his waist as ropes of his hot cum spill into you, his movements not stilling one bit as he finishes inside your pulsating walls. He can't help but groan your name as he does, feeling every ounce of energy draining from him with every last drop he shoots into you.

For a moment, there's a silence bar the heavy panting from the both of you. Then suddenly, you burst into a fit of laughter, him soon following. It’s contagious, and he leans down to kiss you again, chaste and sweet.

Leon pulls out slowly, and you can feel his cum already starting to leak out and onto the sheets. He releases your wrists then flops over next to you and sprawls out, his joints and bones popping as he stretches. Between this passionate session and his recent mission, he just knows his body will be mad at him later.

As you both lie there, staring at the now sunrise lit ceiling, sated grins sit on your faces. You both turn to face each other, staring into each other's eyes. He reaches over to move some of your hair off your face that had gotten stuck there from sweat, his fingers lightly caressing your skin.

“How long have you been waiting to do that, Kennedy?” You smirk, raising an eyebrow.

“How long have you been waiting for me to do that, is the better question.” He counters, chuckling lowly.

“Far too long, that's for sure.” You mutter softly, giving him a small smile.

“Does this mean I'm definitely your favorite regular now?”

You smack his chest lightly and laugh, rolling your eyes at him. You sit up carefully, noting how racked your body feels from the heated exchange. Slowly, you slide off the bed and stand up on wobbly knees. It takes you a moment to gather your bearings as you stretch yourself, feeling the warmth of the sunrays peering through your sheer curtains on your skin.

“You've always been my favorite, dummy. No one else brings me fun trinkets from their dangerous business trips.” You joke lightly, turning around to face him. He’s lying on his side, propped up on an arm as he stares at you. God, he's so perfect.

“Good, because I'll fight anyone that comes close to that title.”

“I’m sure you will, Kennedy. I'm gonna go clean up in the shower, wanna join?”

“But, showering means I'll see you naked.” He feigns shyness, but his smirk tells something different. He’s so dumb, you laugh to yourself.

“Your loss.” You purse your lips and start for the bathroom. The thud of Leon landing on the floor behind you is instantaneous, his heavy footsteps following quickly behind.

It's well into the morning when you find yourself snuggled up lazily into Leon's arms, both freshly showered and satisfied. He helped you strip your sheets and put new ones on before you grabbed him by the arm and tugged him into bed with you – something he definitely did not try to fight.

With his big arm wrapped around you protectively, him lying on his back, you nuzzle into his ribs as you splay your arm across his broad chest. He's already in and out of sleep, soft snores escaping him. His arm around you just tightens in response, his fingers curling into your soft side as he mumbles softly. As the morning birds continue their melody, you drift off easily. Already is your mind busy dreaming of the man whose scent permeates every part of your senses, making this rest the easiest one you've had in a while.

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[behidethetrees]

HOLD MY HEART, ITS BEATING FOR YOU ANYWAY.

IN WHICH… You’re ethans dream girl!

Pairing: Ethan landry x Fem! Reader

Contents: non-gf! Ethan, Reader is bffs with Tara and Anika <3, Chad is definitely Ethan’s biggest hypeman, This is set in the 2000s!!

THIS IS A REUPLOAD!!! my blog got deleted so I have to re-upload all my fics :( but nonetheless enjoy!!

HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR YEAR 2005 ;

Ethan has had his eye on you for a while.

Since junior year of high school when you asked him for the algebra notes, he's been completely infatuated with you. He had daydreamed about you and everything he would do for you once you became his.

He was so sure you two would tie the knot soon that he started to plan your future together. He dreamed about having a big house with two cats, a good-paying job so he can spoil you, maybe even kids. But he couldn't have any of that if he hadn't talked to you yet.

he decided to take matters into his own hands, He was going to talk to you. He thought of all the different ways he would approach you But every time he tried, Once he got close enough to you, he would always back down because of how nervous you made him.

Ethan felt as if you were getting farther from him Until one day when you asked for the notes again…

"I- uhm, can tutor you if you want." Ethan blurts out

"tutor me? You think I'm stupid?" you said in that sickly sweet voice of yours which, at that moment, didn't feel all too sweet.

"NO!, oh God uhm-no that's not what I meant. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that, It's just uh we have a test soon so I didn't know if-" Ethan started to ramble. He had fantasized about you for too long to let you slip away. He wasn't going to let it happen.

"I'm just fucking with you, here's my number." you laugh as you tear a piece of paper from your notebook and grab Ethan's pen from his hand.

Ethan was sure he was seeing hearts around his vision. Ethan had made YOU laugh, Ethan's heart was pumping out of his chest. As you handed him the paper, smiled, and thanked him he had to force himself not to kiss you right then and there.

Every tutor session ended with you two just talking and getting to know each other. Ethan studied you. he memorized what you liked, didn't like, your favorite foods, the shows you liked, everything you told him he would remember.

As you two became closer, Ethan became more and more devoted to you. You two went shopping? He’d carry your bags. Out for food? He’d pay. Simply walking towards a door? He’d hold the door open for you. You had started to consider Ethan a best friend and that made Ethan's stomach hurt with excitement.

When you introduced Ethan to the group, of course, Chad took a quick liking in him, So much so they're now roommates at Blackmore. Ethan would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of Chad at first. How close you guys were, how comfortable, How much trust you put in him, Everybody loved Chad and his personality, Chad had a higher chance of being with you than Him Ethan thought, and something about that made Ethan's jaw clench harder every time, But he would never admit this.

BLACKMORE UNIVERSITY, SOPHMORE YEAR 2008;

When you got that text from Ethan, Tara grabbed your pink flip phone and freaked out.

“Oh my god! y/n you HAVE to accept this!” Tara yelled as she grabbed your shoulders and shook you.

“Why this restaurant though? Why does he want to go that far out for food?” You said with too much obliviousness that it hurt everyone in the room.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Anika started “ He likes you! He's taking you to a fancy dinner to tell you, There's no other reason why he would want you to go that far out for a hamburger!”

“I don't think he does though, I think he likes that girl in our econ class” You said, The thought of that makes your heart hurt. You had liked ethan for awhile, He was so kind and attentive, If you asked him for help, He would be there in a heartbeat. He treated you with so much respect and gentleness you knew no one else could give you like he did.

“Jill? Are you kidding? You're so blind.” Tara says “Well he looks at her sometimes-” You start getting defensive.

“She sits in front of him Y/N. I promise you he doesn't like her, if he does he's an idiot!” Tara yells.

Anika agrees with a loud yeah!

“Whatever but I still don't think he likes me, we're just friends.” In your gut, you knew that was a lie but you kept telling yourself it wasn't.

“He has heart eyes every time he looks at you y/n. He's definitely in love with you.” Anika said, Tara laughs.

The whole afternoon Tara and Anika helped you get ready and pick out what to wear. You all decided on a y/f/c colored dress with some dark shoes. Tara straighten your hair and Anika did your nails and picked out your perfume.

“He's gonna be more in love with you than he already is!” Tara says, You laugh as Tara and Anika hug you.

Ethan was sitting in the booth of a fancy restaurant that was quite the drive from Blackmore. Chad had finally convinced Ethan to ask you out and when you agreed, Chad's plan was finally in motion. Ethan smelled like Chad's cologne and was dressed in expensive clothes Chad had brought him, a baby blue collared shirt with grey dress pants. Ethan's curls were somehow curlier and out of his face, he looked like a ‘million bucks’ according to Chad.

As you walk in you noticed a group of three sitting to the left of the entrance, All dressed in black, sunglasses, and their hair covering their faces, One of them looked like Anika, You almost laughed. What you didn't notice was Ethan's eyes going wide as he saw you walk in. How his blood started rushing and his heart was about to explode.

“Hey y/n!’ Ethan awkwardly gets up from his seat, He puts his hands on your waist to pull you into a hug.

“Hey Ethan.” you say as you lean into his touch, placing your arms around his neck. It was a short but an effective hug. You too, were now nervous.

As Ethan lets go, You exhale a breath you didn't know you were holding.

You sat across from Ethan and looked at the menu, but Ethan didn't. Ethan was looking at you. Admiring you. How focused you were, how your eyebrows moved up a bit if you saw something that looked good, how you played with your silver ring, taking it off and putting it back on your finger.

“ I think I want to try this, Ethan are you looking?” you ask as you move the menu to show Ethan, “ Are you okay?” You noticed Ethan was just staring down.

“I uhm, need to tell you something.” Ethan says softly. Was he really about to do this?

“Oh okay” Ethan saw you fidget with your ring again, He knew you were just as nervous as he was.

Ethan looked down at his hand to remember what to say- oh crap, Ethan's black ink was smudged from washing his hands. Ethan cursed himself in his head for being so dumb. Ethan breathed in deeply, trying not to panic. What was he supposed to say now?

Ethan picked up his head but avoided making eye contact with you, But you on the other hand were looking right into his hazel eyes that still somehow shined even in the dimed lights.

“I don't know if this is weird because we're friends and I don't want to make you uncomfortable,” Ethan starts, He knew this wasn't the best way to start but he didn't know what else to say. “If you don't feel the same that's okay, And if you don't want to be friends after this thats fine too-” Ethan is stalling.

“Ethan what are you saying?” You knew what was coming but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Its nothing bad! I just uhm, like you.” Ethan mumbles while scratching his face.

“What?” You heard him, You just wanted him to say it again.

“ I like you y/n, I've liked you for so long it's making me crazy.” Ethan's mouth begins to move faster than his brain. “ I've loved you ever since I've known you and- and I've tried to show you, The best days of my life revolve around you, it's always been you.” Ethan doesn't notice that you get up and start to walk to his side of the booth.

“ I’d do anything you want, I already do everything you want and I'm sorry if this is weird but your all I want-” You grab Ethan's hand from his lap as you sit next to him, Now he notices.

“Ethan how could i not like you? Youre like, the best person ive ever met.” You make sure he looks you in your eyes so he knows you really mean it.

“ You have so much kindness and patience and i admire that so much, You make me feel loved.” You say as you lean in to kiss him. Ethan was caught off guard but slowly he grabs your hips as you place your hand on the side of his arm. It was a long passionate kiss filled with years of yearning and love for each other.

As you began to pull away you see the same 3 weird people from the other table in front of you.

“Tara?!” It was Tara, Anika, and Chad dressed up, Anika Was recording.

“Is it official?” Tara asks with excitement. You and Ethan looked at each other before smiling and turning to the others and nodding.

Immediately Tara grabs you out of the booth and hugs you so tight you felt like you couldn't breathe, Anika also joining in. Chad and Ethan do their handshake they’ve practice for over a year, this time they perfected it.

“Dinner is on me!” Chad yells.

A/N; Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed!

Requests

[lotusnleaves]

MORE THAN A CRUSH

— ᴾᵃᶦʳᶦⁿᵍ: ᴮˡᵃᶜᵏᶜᵒᵈᵉᵈᵎᶠᵉᵐᵎᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ ˣ ᶜʰᶦˡᵈʰᵒᵒᵈᵇˢᶠᵎᴱ⁴²ᵎᴹᶦˡᵉˢ

— ˢᵘᵐᵐᵃʳʸ: ᶠᵒʳ ᵃˢ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵃˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿ ʳᵉᵐᵉᵐᵇᵉʳ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃⁿᵈ ᴹᶦˡᵉˢ ʰᵃᵈ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ, ᵈᶦᵈ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵉ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿˢʰᶦᵖ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ'ˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃˢ ᶠᵃʳ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵉ'ʳᵉ ᶜᵒⁿᶜᵉʳⁿᵉᵈ ᶦᵗ ʷᵃˢ ᵃ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᶦᵒⁿˢʰᶦᵖ. ᴮᵘᵗ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵒⁿᵉ ᵖᵃʳᵗᶦᶜᵘˡᵃʳ ᵗᵃˡᵏ ʷᶦᵗʰ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢ ᶦᵗ ʰᵃˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵠᵘᵉˢᵗᶦᵒⁿᶦⁿᵍ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵗʰᶦⁿᵍ ʰᵉ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᵉˣᵖˡᶦᶜᶦᵗˡʸ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵉ'ʳᵉ ᵗᵒᵍᵉᵗʰᵉʳ ˢᵒ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃˡˡ ᵗʰᵉˢᵉ ʸᵉᵃʳˢ ʷᵃˢ ᶦᵗ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵈᵉˡᵘˢᶦᵒⁿˀ

— ᴳᵉⁿʳᵉ: ˢᵒʳᵗᵃ ᵃ ᵇᵉˢᵗ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢ ᵗᵒ ˡᵒᵛᵉʳˢ ᵗʳᵒᵖᵉ ˢˡᶦᵍʰᵗᵗᵗ ᵃⁿᵍˢᵗ ᵇᵘᵗ ᵐᵒˢᵗˡʸ ᶠˡᵘᶠᶠ ᵉⁿʲᵒʸ ˡᵒᵛᵉˡᶦᵉˢˢˢˢˢ

— ᴬ/ᴺ: ʸ'ᵃˡˡ ᶦᵐ ʰᵃᵛᶦⁿ ˢᵘᶜʰ ᵃ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʰᵃᵗᵉ ʳᵉˡᵃᵗᶦⁿˢʰᶦᵖ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᶠᶦᶜ ᵘᵍʰʰʰʰʰ ᵇᵘᵗ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᶦˡ "ᴵᶠ ᴴᵉ ᴴᵃᵈ ᴮᵉᵉⁿ ᵂᶦᵗʰ ᴹᵉ" ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢʰᶦᵖ ᵈʸⁿᵃᵐᶦᶜ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵐᶦˣᵉᵈ ᶦⁿ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᴹᶦˡᵉ'ˢ ᵖᵉʳˢᵒⁿᵃˡᶦᵗʸ ᶦᵗ'ˢ ˢᵒ ᶠᶦᵗᵗᶦⁿᵍᵎ ᵃˡˢᵒ ᵐʸᵇ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵗᵒᵒᵏ ˡᵒⁿᵍᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ᶦᵗ ˢʰᵒᵘˡᵈᵛᵉ ᵃ ᵍᶦʳˡ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ᵇᵘˢʸʸʸ. ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵍᵉᵗˢ ᵖᵒˢᵗᵉᵈ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒᵗ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᴳᴺᵎ ᴴᵉᵃᵈᶜᵃⁿᵒⁿˢ ᶜᵒᵐᶦⁿᵍ ʸᵃʸʸʸ. ⁽ᴬˡˢᵒᵒᵒᵒ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ᶦ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʳᵉ⁻ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒᵒᵏ ᵗʰᶦˢ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ ᶦˢ ᴴᴱᴬⱽᴵᴸʸ ᶦⁿˢᵖᶦʳᵉᵈ ᵇʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒᵒᵏ" ᴵᶠ ᴴᵉ ᴴᵃᵈ ᴮᵉᵉⁿ ᵂᶦᵗʰ ᴹᵉ" ʷᶦᵗʰᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗʳᵃᵍᶦᶜ ᵃˢˢ ᵉⁿᵈᶦⁿᵍ⁾

Since the beginning, as far back as you can remember there was never a time when the tall curly haired boy wasn't in your life, this proved to be true when your dynamic duo had matching cribs as babies an inseparable bond as kids and practically soul ties as teens.

It had been Miles and you against the world together for as long as you've been alive. A universally proclaimed couple and you couldn't be happier to have him.

When you we're kid's and your Mom worked as a teacher at your school she did everything in her power to keep you and he close. You'd hold hands during recess share your snacks at and get each other toys on valentine's day it was the purest kind of love.

Then one day as you and your best friend were sat on the stairs of your apartment sharing an empanada he stood up. Miles took the blue ring pop out of his back pocket blush prominent against your brown skin as he got down on one knee in front of you.

"Me and my Mami went to a big party last month called a wedding and she said when you like somebody a lot this is what you do" he smiled fallen baby teeth obvious. His grubby hands pushed the ring on your equally little fingers "And I like you way more than a lot" He huffed proudly.

"I like you way more than a lot too Mile's" your chunky cheeks raised to a smiled. Rio accepted you as her daughter in-law with no objections.

Your childhood day's went by as fast as they came, and pretty soon you and Miles were in high school, older now. There you and he quickly discovered that everybody had somebody and if somehow you didn't, it was bound to happen. So Miles took it upon himself to fend off any guy that even thought about going their with you acting as personal bodyguard from then on out.

"Ma, that nigga just whistled at you and you want me to do nothin?" he looked down at you with a stunned expression "You can't be serious". One of the underclassman had just wolf whistled at you probably to impress his friends and even though being gawked at was never a great feeling you shrugged him off. Being a girl means getting cat called was inevitable, and despite you trying to convince him it was okay, Miles was gonna knock the teeth down the freshman's throat if you didn't stop him. You sighed hand on his cheek now making him look at you "I know miles but its whatever really, I'm not worried about it so you—" and before you could even get the words out he was gone bolting after the terrified kid.

He also made damn sure to fend of the constant flow of groupies that gravitated to him. When girl's would push past and approach him right in front of you, you'd always keep it classy, but a side-eye or a murmur under your breath sounding a lot like "desperate bitch" when they would shamelessly flirt with Miles immediately gave away your jealousy.

"So whats good with you and that one girl?" you tried to say calmly as Miles laid his head comfortably on your lap, but the venom in your voice as you choked out her name was all but discreet. "Who even is that?" he looked up at you lost "Her name Ashley or somethin' you know, tall, blonde, annoying— always has her hands on you even though she got a whole man" you tried to sound nonchalant but that petty quip didn't go unnoticed.

at that, his eyes widened and he scrunched his face with a scoff " Cálmate nena nadie se preocupó por su culo sediento I don't want her hermosa" He smiled squishing your pouting face.

He clicked his tongue mumbling something about how you gotta stop asking him dumb shit "I'on know whats with her and following me around but nah you know I don't be feelin' these other girls" he smirked an emphasis on Other.

The care was mutual you we're always there for Miles especially when the news about the murder of the NYPD chief of police came about. Every step of the way you could be found giving support at the funeral you kept Miles shaking hand in the comfort of your own reassuring he'd get through it.

You were there when he came to your window one night breaking down as you saw him adorned in his prowler suit for the first time. No you weren't the most thrilled when he begrudgingly confessed that he was in fact the Brooklyn vigilante on the news and no this wasn't the greatest way to grief. Still, you stayed by his side and supported him at the end of the day he was a grieving boy confiding in you, something he couldn't with his own mother, so you'd hide the suit in your closet, kiss his forehead and tell him it was okay.

You and he being together for all the intimate moments in life gave you a sense of security, it made it easy for you to assume what you had was more than a friendship. That's why your ever questioning friends cornering you about it resonated all the more.

You were sat at lunch checking your phone when your friend Kim flopped dramatically in her chair "Ughhh its not fair, why all the nigga's here gotta be such assholes" she complained to no in particular. Your group laughed but she was not amused "Nah I'm for real y'all, like seriously where the guys like Miles be at" she pouted "I'd kill to have what y'all do always bein' cute and shit s'damn shame the rest of us mere mortals don't" with a sigh she rested her head on your shoulder now "too bad your not datin' he a catch girl".

"Wait what?" you dropped your fork taken a back "What do you mean we're not dating?" the table looked at you with confusion "Well are you? I mean you don't refer to him as your boyfriend" the same curly headed girl spoke . You were speechless " A'ight so what Kim because I'm not showin' my man to everything that breathes means we're not dating?— we're just private people the whole school doesn't have to be involved to officiate our relationship" you huffed, irritated.

Another friend of yours started hesitantly "Right and that's cute and all hon' but this gives more situation-ship then anything, you two never post each other but your always hanging out and gettin' jealous over the other, You do all the couple things without the label" she raised her hands defensively. The whole table collectively agreed was that really all you and Mile's were? A glorified situation-ship?.

You wanted to argue, but what could you have even said? Mile's didn't ever ask you to be his girlfriend and he wasn't physically affectionate to you in school. If he popped up with a girlfriend tomorrow you wouldn't even have a valid argument. So on the walk home you made up your mind to figure out where you stood with him.

You’re both watching Netflix on your living room floor your back pressed against his chest, you sat between his legs warm breath hovering over your neck while he’s got a soothing hand rubbing your thigh, “Miles what are we doing?” it pauses upon your question registering. “Uh- thought we was watching grand army mami why you tryna do somthin' else?” "Don't be cute Miles I'm being serious" you deadpan losing patience by the second at that he straightens. "Okay whachu' mean by 'what are we doing' Ma? I'on read minds" "What are we doing like relationship wise? like am I your girlfriend—"

He looks confused and a little hurt, his entire face scrunched shocked you'd even ask. He runs a hand down his face in disbelief “All these years of me showing jus' how much I love and obsess over you, and your dead-ass askin' me if your my girlfriend.” he says looking at you with the most dumbfounded expression. “ The late nights, matchin' sneakers random bouquets of flowers? Como oh dios mio chica were the signs not there Princessa?” he says sarcastically an eyebrow raised.

You flush recalling just how much he does for you, “No Miles s’not that kinda stuff. I don't know me and some friends we're talking and they just made me realise you've like never explicitly asked me out before, in school we're not affectionate either and y'know I just started thinkin' i didn't mean as much to you as I thought....” you mumble. he stares at you sombrely thinking from your perspective he could understand why it looked that way.

He yanks you on his lap making you look at him and pushes a fallen curl from your now shy face "Un-fuckin-believable" he murmurs. You're avoiding eye contact when he grips your chin looking you in the eyes and kisses you. It was hopeless with this boy, you walked in radiating a bold confidence and he reduced you to a shy, flustered puddle, you tried you couldn't keep the irritated facade around him Miles made you melt like butter.

"Tienes que dejar de escuchar a tus amigos tontos, pero lo siento Mami. Y'know I never meant to make you think tha' way right? 'course your my girlfriend" he says softly and sincerely. "Sides' it's been me and you against the world since our matchin' cribs" he teases poking your side and you cant help but laugh.

In that moment all the doubts your friends had planted in your head vanished it really was you and Miles against the world. He never doubted it and now you wouldn't ever again.

TAGS

@sangwoosbsf

[officialdaydreamer00]

Flowers of a summer day

in which your significant other finally agreed to go outside with you for an impromptu picnic.

pairing: idia shroud x yuu/reader

contents: short oneshot, this is just angst with a happy ending tbh, idia might be ooc pls don't shoot me (^-^; ), reader is referred to as yuu, gender neutral reader and narrated with you/yours, reader has powers to manipulate plants (mainly flowers) to a certain extent

★ the daydreamer speaks — my entry for @cloudcountry's sweet shroud summer 2024!! this is literally an excuse to stimulate the brainworms hehe. also i was braiding my hair and my brain went "gasp. idea!! :D" and there you have it ^-^

do i tag? yes, i do. my main idia liker: @edith-is-a-cat, others: @identity-theft-101 @ferris-the-wheel @xen-blank @twistwonderlanddevotee @loser-jpg @lemonchuu

remember to reblog if you enjoy my work!!

"Is all of this really necessary?"

A chuckle.

"Well, yes, it is."

Summer was just around the corner.

The sun was shining brightly, accompanied by clouds bracketed to the clear blue sky. Flowers glimmered, blooming under the sunlight like jewels. The summer's breezes picked up their faint yet comforting scents, carrying them to distant lands. It was hot out in the flower field, indeed, but the forest surrounding it and a pond nearby helped cooled the air down. Birds took places hidden in the trees, singing a special harmony only they could do, tying every pieces of details together for a lovely summer day.

... It was also how Idia found himself sitting under a tree looking towards his beloved's flower field, having his hair braided and played with.

"You're killing me with the sun, Yuu-shi..."

You only chuckled at his incessant mutterings under his breath as your hands skilfully wove through his fiery long hair, braiding in flowers you grew with love and magic every now and then as you saw fit.

"But how can I refuse Ortho when he personally asked for my help?"

"That's—... Fair enough..."

He grew quiet as you continued on with your little mission.

If it was several years ago, someone told him that he'd have someone who loved and cared for him for his entirety, he'd malfunction and dismiss it as a cruel joke one would say to him. Until you came into his life, what with the ruckus in the opening ceremony.

He still didn't exactly get why you chose him. Him, of all people.

Every time he looked at you, you always shined, as bright as the sun, and as serene as the moon. Even in the drkest times, after every trouble you faced during your time on campus, you would still shined, as if nothing could diminish the light of your aura.

And he envied you for that.

Compared to you, he was no one special, a strange individual even, and not in a good way. Seven, he would agree if you outright said that to his face. He hope you didn't think of him so low like that, however, since it's not like you befriended him if you thought so, right?

... Right?

Oh, who was he kidding? Would you still be with him if you saw how weird he actually was? Would you get tired of him? Would you leave him one day? He would understand if you do leave him behind one day, but by Seven, would it hurt so much and he would never leave his room again if you—

—The sound of you humming tore through his suffocating thoughts, saving him from sinking even deeper down that rabbit hole.

'Right... No point in dweling into that anymore...' He thought, focusing on the soft hands threading through his hair.

You chose him. You stayed by his side, willingly. And even after everything he did, you forgave him. And you loved him for who he was.

"And... Done! There we go."

He looked so different in the mirror that you carried along, with his fiery hair cascading down his back, and the peonies and violets woven in the intricate braids. A lovely product of your creative mind.

Perhaps going outside once in a while wasn't as bad as he thought it was.

He felt himself smiling, his hair glowing a soft pink shade. It was a comforting thought, knowing he could live with moments like this. For eternity, if you would agree.

[yurislotusgarden]

Hiii lotuss!!<3 i love ur works they are so cute it makes my empty heart fill up w joy 💔💔

Can i request prompt 6 w chu, dazai and sigma w fem reader? If thats okay ofc!<3

Btw remember to take breaks and eat, drink and sleep well! :D

-💞 anon

ʚїɞ Separately! Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya and Sigma x Gn!Reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ The event

ʚїɞ word count: 1k

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just pure fluff, pet names are used, reader’s gender is not specified in any way

ʚїɞ Hi 💞 anon! Thank you for the words, nice to know someone enjoys my works like that <3

Sun rays fell into the warm room, a comfortable silence and atmosphere, a feeling it would be a good day the moment you woke up.

You would call it a perfect Saturday for a day out, and getting up early to start to start your day while the sun has been up for not too long, and you would do so if it wasn't for a specific brown-haired koala clinging to your waist from behind. Really, was it too much to wish for him to be asleep when you wake up? Getting out of his grip is certainly easier when he's asleep than when he's fully conscious.

"Where do you think you're going, Bella?" But truth be told, his morning voice may make up for the inconvenience if you were to not lie to yourself. "It's too early!~" 

And here comes the quiet whining from the other adult.

"We both have work, Samu. We need to be at the agency in less than an hour so-"

"So it's plenty of time to stay in bed and cuddle with me!"

"I would rather be on time so that Kunikida doesn’t scold us for being late."

"He will scold us for something anyway. What's the difference?"

“I-”

You didn't have an answer to that one. To be fair, that's not exactly a lie, that Man can find any reason to scold a person.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“...”

“Who am I asking? Of course, you don't have an answer when all I'm saying is the truth!~”

You love seeing Dazai happy, don't get it wrong, but this was one of the times when you just wanted to punch that grin off his face-

“Honey.”

“Hmm?” He really thought he won if his face was anything to go by.

“*I love you but we need to get up*”

A displeased groan came from the man and you had thought you won when-

“No.”

“What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean no, you wanna hear it in French? ✨Non✨”

You're so done with this man, and you still had to deal with Kunikida’s scolding later.

4 hours.

4 hours is the amount of extra time spent in bed by you, wanting to just stay in bed with your boyfriend as he had a whole day off for once. While it was lovely to have more time with Chuuya than usual, it was already 2 p.m. by that point, way past the time when you should’ve gotten up.

“Chu?”

The question was asked in a quiet voice, in case he fell asleep again since the last time the both of you uttered a word.

A hum was a response enough for you to know he’s at least conscious enough to have some sort of a conversation with him. Gently running your nails through his hair, you quietly asked “Don’t you think it’s time to get up?”

A quiet groan came from the man. 

“Nuh-uh”

“Honey.”

“Nooo…” His voice showed just how close to sleeping he was before you spoke up.

“We need to get up-”

“I refuse the offer, now go back to sleep.” But now he seems fully awake? Motherfucker.

“It wasn’t an offer- and it’s 2 p.m.”

Is it even worth trying to argue?

“Do I look like I care about the hour, love?”

“Chuuya!”

“Not changing my mind.”

No, absolutely not.

“I will change your damn mind when I-”

Soft lips were planted on yours for a few seconds to shut you up before pulling away. The ginger head raised his head to kiss you just to shut you up.

“Shush and don’t try to get up, we both know you won’t manage that if I don’t let you.”

But you will always try to argue anyway.

“Fuck you.”

“Gladly.”

He will never get bored of that blossom hue appearing on your cheeks. Never.

Sleeping in the middle of a million blankets may have not been the best idea.

Sigma has been overworking for the past 2 weeks as per usual and you decided that he needs a good rest, resulting in wrapping you both up in any blanket you found lying around. It was comfortable as hell, yeah, but the bi-colored-haired man had been asked to come down to the Casino for something and yet still didn't get up. Is it really your boyfriend or is it some imposter because you thought you would never see him ignoring anything related to his Casino.

You decided to speak as yet another message went unanswered. “Cotton?”

A sleepy murmur of “Yeah?” made it clear he was listening.

“You need to get up.”

“But I don’t wanna.”

A sigh came from you, and another buzz from his phone could be heard. You were pretty sure that by now around 60 different messages could be seen on the screen unanswered. Of course, that was the number of messages that came after he read the first one asking for him in the first place.

“Sigma.”

One word, and yet his head shot up from the pillow right away. You don’t use his name often, especially in that tone. “Did I do something?”

“Sigma.”

“What?” He was genuinely confused, was he that tired that he didn’t even realize what that message earlier really said?

“Cotton-” You were hoping to calm him down by not using his name anymore. “Listen, I love you, but we, especially you, need to get up.”

“Why?”

“Look at your phone.”

“Okay?”

Let’s just say that the moment his brain processed the 80 messages on his phone, he got out of bed with, what you would say was his record speed, literally speedrunned getting ready you had to help him with his hair and tie because this man would go out in bed hair and very badly tied tie and you managed to get him to take a snack with him since he didn’t eat anything yet.

Some of his workers found out it was you who got him out of bed and thanked you.

You did not answer Sigma’s question when he asked where you got all the sweets from later that night.

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

[monayen]

uhhh I dunno really but — maybe a fic of reader just walking in the forest because they r lost then getting caught in a bear trap nyen set up and uh he does something fucked up to reader, like fucks them then kills them or something? Or something heavy gore related while he fucks them.. sorryyy ahhh (I’m a damn masochist.)

The Lost Camper | Nyen

➷ Paring - Nyen x Fem!Reader [Randal's Friends / Ranfren]

➷ CWs - noncon, unsafe sex, fear play, knife play, blood kink, stabbing, sadism, fingering, violence, degradation, dacryphilla, READER DEATH

a/n - this came out to 4k words :') i know anon described a bear trap/hunting-esque situation but i felt making the reader a more cryptic-like being of the woods made a bit more sense (and easier to fit in) either way, reminder that this is DARK. there isn't a happy ending and the reader does freakin' die. (though rebirth is implied. see it how ya' do) i apologize for any mistakes as this is my longest work to date (whoop whoop) thank you for your comments and requests on both ao3 and tumblr. keeps me motivated ^^ currently working on a Randal fic and some Luther headcannons :3 inbox open as always. ANYWAYS ENOUGH

You aren't sure why you decided to hop over the Ivory household's security measures and rummage through their things while they slept. You’ve seen campers before in these woods plenty of times. Hundreds, if you kept count… but you don't.

You also don't ever interact with campers these days either. They didn’t tend to be special and they didn’t ever really get in the way. Maybe you’ll spook them by hovering around behind the greenery, sticks cracking underneath rugged boots. They don't interest you anymore beyond listening to them talk about their boring, human lives. 

It doesn't make them completely irrelevant to you though, as you’ve gained a habit of sneaking onto their campsites. You steal – quite often. Well, as often as people come this deep into the woods. It's how you justify it, how else are you supposed to get canned food and new clothes? And so what if you also take a couple of books you can't read and stuffed animals whose furs mat under dirty hands. The mossy den you reside in could always use new things, even if you have no use for them.

For as long as you remember, it has been like this. A being of the woods, you’ve become a cryptic-like legend. “The Lost Camper”, you’re called. Whatever that means. You aren't sure what life is like past bark and muddy soil, clothes messy and hands rough. You were never lost, this is all you know.

Is it all so bad? So bad that humans go out of their way to tell campfire stories about your existence? The grass gives you more comfort than any sleeping bag can. 

So there really wasn't any need for you to be past that fence they set up. The truth was that they were… interesting. More interesting than any other family who ventured out here. You saw as they gathered around and talked, well, two were doing most of the talking. Brothers, apparently. (despite not looking much alike) 

They tagged along a couple more… characters. Notably, these two catmen that hovered around the older one of the brothers. They looked more alike, cat ears dawning their similar haircuts. You could tell them apart by their clothes – easier, their demeanors. 

The blue haired one stood hunched, staring at his… ”master” talk. Immediately, you could tell he was the more timid of the two. You observed the other pinkish haired one smoke a cigarette a few steps away from the group. His eyes – eye, actually – looked low and dark. The patch on one of them leaves you to wonder what might've happened for it to be left in such a state. Catching his name from his master, “Nyen”, which made sense considering his appearance.

You must have been staring too long, because suddenly Nyen lifts his head and his sunless eye meets yours for a second. Ducking quickly behind the trees, it should have been your sign to leave, to go on your merry way of collecting berries and getting high off of mushrooms for entertainment. 

But of course – you didn't. Instead, you retreated to the comfort of the conifer and stood idly. The sun set faster than you expected, any thoughts of simply leaving long gone hours ago. An eager smile spread across your face, these unique campers were asleep and you were going to rein free on their grounds. This was going to be the most fun you’ve had in ages!

As you tiptoe to their spot, you point out the odd set up. They had a truck and two tents, but only one tent actually seemed to be occupied. They also left a plethora of things outside unattended. Great for you. 

Nimbly, you start pocketing random things into your large well-loved leather crossbody bag. You’ve rummaged through many people’s unattended things before, but they definitely take it to a different level. This place was filled with bizarre stuff, stuff you’ve never seen before. 

Why the fuck were they carrying several wooden carvings of beavers and… birthday cake flavored “lube”... unsure what the latter was. Either way, you found it all the more entertaining to stuff these random things into your bag, giggling slightly when you pulled out a photorealistic framed drawing of a blue pony with a rainbow mane. 

You were so intrigued by all these things that you didn't realize masked, narrow eyes staring at your figure past the of the darkness camp. 

-

Nyen had been waiting for this. How stupid can you be? He saw you past the trees when the sun was still up, staring with a stable gaze – observing. Your face was shaded by the leaves, but he could see the grip you had on the tree trunk you stood behind. You looked rugged, you weren't just another camper or hitchhiker. He huffs his cigarette, more freaks. Nyen moves his eyes towards his master, clearly already stressed with the hitchhiker they had picked up hours before. Another huff.

His eyes meet yours when he decides to look up again and just as quickly – you're gone. 

Once Luther hears about this, his brows furrow slightly at the idea of another thing to deal with. “Oh dear, I just can't catch a break.” Nyen waits for his master to continue.

Randal (who totally wasn't eavesdropping) perks up once he recognizes who they were talking about, “Oh! Oh! You mean the…” He pauses for dramatic effect, “The Lost Camper…” Luther twists his head to stare at his brother, “Is that the name?” 

Randal nods excitedly, “I’ve read all about her! Apparently, she’s a ghost. Or like a cavewoman. Or an animal-hybrid. I actually didn't read that much.” He shrugs, “She doesn't hurt people, I think. Just swipes a few things and wonders around. Which is a little boring, would love it if something tried to kill us! AGAIN!”

Luther shakes his head and looks back at Nyen, “Hm, it’s too late now to move everything back inside…” He places a finger on his chin, “If that's true, then deal with her if she becomes a problem, alright?” 

Nyen nods, “Yes sir.”

From what Randal said, he knew you would most likely lurk in the incognito of the night. So he took his stance outside the tent everyone else slept in. 

He almost giddily twirls the handle of the knife, waiting and waiting. Hours pass, he doesn't have a watch but his internal clock tells him it’s around 3 am when he finally spots you. Look at you, being a problem.

Your back is faced away from him. Through the darkness, (and thanks to his skill of seeing well in the dark) he witnesses the silhouette of your thievery. Nyen can't point out exactly what you are taking but all he can imagine is his master’s upset face if he sees things are missing. The grip on his knife tightens.

He needs to wait again, wait for the perfect moment, wait to pounce . Nyen hears giggles escape your mouth – small, but he hears it. His jaw clenches. How dare you tee-hee while taking his family's very important stuff? He almost wants to lunge at you straight away, but he decides against it. Nyen wants to stab you in the throat and watch the blood splurt once you turn around. He just needs to get a bit closer…

SNAP

How irritating. Nyen just had to step on a twig. 

Your reaction time is just as fast as his, darting into the dark woods with him quickly trailing behind you.

Nyen huffs to himself. He wanted to make this quick, but he certainly doesn’t mind a chase.

-

Holy shit, shit, shit. Thoughts race a thousand miles per hour, with your legs following right behind. You admittedly got too into it that you weren’t focusing, now you have to make a great escape. 

This isn’t the first time you’ve had to run away from a camper, there was a time where a woman got spooked by you on her way to take a piss. Her scream was so loud that you immediately dashed past her, dropping the clothes you had stolen. Her husband (presumably an experienced outdoorsman) actually trekked through the woods with a shotgun for a while as you held your breath in the branches above. Ultimately, her family was gone before the sun was down. 

But you aren't sure you can just avoid this one. You allow yourself to turn peek behind you and see him . The smoking catman, Nyen. The shade of the night is heavy, but you’ve adapted to see well in the dark. You’re sure he has that skill too with the way his gaze is steady, hard, and right on yo u through terrifying masked eyes. Where did his eyepatch go?

Shaky hands clutch the filled crossbody bag that jumps with your every movement. If you had to go through this, you at least want to keep the stuff. 

Just tire him out, you think. It's reassuring that you know these woods like the back of your hand. You’ve tread several miles, exploring and wondering, though never finding a road. (Odd.)

Agilely weaving him past trees and fallen logs, your boots try to find leaf covered ground in an attempt to not leave visible tracks, but that would cause you to move slower – and you can't afford that. You assume with enough loops and turns, he will lose your trail.

A loud, gravelly yell can be heard behind you, “You can't run forever!” It makes your heart hammer because it's true. You aren't sure how long you’ve been running now but it feels like hours .

Periodically, you pause to catch your breath, but it isn't long before you hear his heavy steps get closer and closer, forcing the chase to start again.

It’s terrifying. You have amazing stamina. It's part of being in these woods, moving a lot. Nyen is different though, you don't think he’s stopped once. He’s a hunter, a bit slower than his prey but always behind. 

Huffing, you duck under branches and jump over uneven ground with aching legs, barely catching yourself a few times. It’s strenuous to carry on like this, so close to giving out. It’s impossible to focus with this adrenaline pumping through your veins, are you going in circles? Herbage you’re so used to begin to feel like a labyrinth of ever consuming moss and vines. 

Managing to keep your distance, you start to believe that maybe you’ve lost him when the echo of rushed footsteps begin to fade. There’s a wave of relief when all that can be heard is the sound of heavy panting and earth stirring underneath sore feet. 

You close your eyes as you continue to move forward, wind flowing through your hair with momentum. It’s just for a second, for a moment of clarity. It's a terrible second. Your right ankle rolls horribly on a rock, making you tumble down with shriek. It reverberates past trees and you’re sure he's heard it. 

He’s already closing the gap, leaves shuffling behind you. Regaining composure with gritted teeth, you come to the conclusion that he can have his damn things. It’s not worth running forever. Peeking at your quickly growing swollen ankle, you aren't sure you even could.

Finding an area where the trees thin out with patches of soft grass, you use the last of your excretion to exclaim, “Wait, wait!” Facing him finally, he stops feet away from you. 

You finally get a closer look at him. His stance is still aggressive, as if you are about to take off at any moment. You see his glare filled with pure disdain, thin lips curling in a snarl. His eyes go beyond his bizarre mask, it feels like he's piercing you with them.

“Say it.” It's a husky voice that makes the anxiety in your stomach swirl. You realize you haven't been face to face with someone in… a while.

Croaking out with a strained voice, “Look, here. Have it back, I don't want it anymore.” With shaking hands, you tug the worn leather over your body and drop it onto the ground in between you two. Gulping, you scan his figure for any type of reaction.

That's when you notice a glint in his hand – a knife. Maybe it was foolish to assume he wouldn't have a weapon on him, he was chasing you after all. But it dawns on you that you don't have one. 

Nyen seems to pick up on your sudden stiffening, taking a step forward. It takes everything in you to not take off, but you know it would be fruitless with a sore ankle. 

“I know who you are.” You shake, “You do?” He nods slowly, “Randal told me about you. ‘The Lost Camper’, a habitual thief and urban legend. A fucking pussy too.” 

A low laugh escapes his lips, he’s getting closer. “So, you think you can just get away with this?” Sweat builds even heavier on your brow and you shake your head, “No, no. I’m – I’m sorry. I didn't mean to–” He cuts you off, “You knew exactly what the fuck you were doing. You need to be dealt with. ”

Your flight instinct kicks in and despite the light injury you sustained, your feet begin to move on their own. It's not fast enough though, he lunges at you and the sudden weight causes you to fall down with a pained hiss.

There's a tackle, he's grabbing at you while you try to force yourself up under him. It’s incredibly rough, there isn't enough room to struggle around with how his weight presses you down.

You watch terribly as Nyen brings his knife up in the air. The pale moon shines on the blade, and for a second, you see the reflection of your terrified face before it stains red. 

A guttural scream forces out of your mouth, making you throw your head back before it crooks back down to see crimson blood seep through your jeans down the side of your thigh. 

Nyen doesn't waste time in pulling the blade back, watching how you writhe in pain. Through teary eyes, you see pure excitement spread across his shaded face. He’s enjoying this. 

You can barely resist when he's forcing your thick jacket off your body – not satisfied with how the material lessens the cuts he’s adorning your body. “Don't do this…” It’s meek and pathetic, you know but you can't help it. He stands above, blood staining his hands. 

“It's already happening.” It's deep and low, and you feel every drip of venom that laces his words. 

You witness Nyen begin to rub the growing bulge in his tan jeans, causing your stomach to twist in a way that you're scared you may vomit out of the fear and pain. The catman groans, “Fuck… I’m going to make a mess out of you.”

Soon enough, he strips you of your worn shirt and jeans clothes. It's scary how Nyen handles you like a ragdoll, no concern for the twists and gashes your injured body has to endure. 

“So this is what you were hiding under all that? Lucky me.” It’s so condescending that you grit your teeth. For any chance of keeping your dignity, an attempt of covering yourself and moving is made – but it’s met with a swift kick to your ribs that results in burning heaving.

A cold hand slips under your bra, lifting it over and groping at your chest. Whimpering, you attempt to shy away from his touch but he draws you back with an even colder tip of a blade that swipes across your skin. 

Red drapes over your body like a warm blanket in contrast to the cool chill of the forest air. You can almost stare off into the starry night you are so used to while you try to regain bated breath, just for an escape.

Nyen doesn't allow this though. He flips you over roughly onto your stomach, ripping away the comforting sky from your vision. Again, you want to at least protest when he greedily spreads your legs open, hand prodding at your sensitive heat.

Shit. You don't remember the last time you ventured into anything sexual. Maybe you’d rub one out when the idea popped up, but it never really did. You’ve seen a… er– dildo (if you remember correctly what it was called) once or twice when snooping around camps. It gave you a good laugh then, but you would ultimately leave it. 

Now you can feel how his hard length presses up against you. It’s an uncommon sensation, and fuck – why does it have to be big? 

Cutting your underwear off, his long fingers soon dip into the heat of your pussy, pushing in and out. You gasp and tremble underneath his touch. He doesn't wait for you, curling his digits up as growing wetness coats his knuckles. It's disgustingly good, making your traitorous body clench around his fingers. 

Nyen looms over you, wiping the soaked knife onto dark long sleeves, helping him keep his grip on the handle. Then, he pulls his fingers out of you, tauntingly slow to hear how you whimper pathetically. “Look at you, bitch. You're fucking dripping.” He mixes the juices with your blood, “Heh, in more ways than one.”

With unbuckled jeans, he moves fully on top of you, knees pining the sides of you down as he grunts against your soft ass. Nyen then grips your hair and pulls your head back, curving your spine into an uncomfortable position. His knife finds its way to your exposed neck. 

Shaking, it nips at your skin as shallow breaths escape you. He brings himself closer . “Should I just kill you now? What do you think, slut?” Adrenaline rushes through your body, a shameful cry escapes you, “No, no! Don't– don't!” 

He grinds against you, “Then beg.” Shaking your head, you respond – “Please. Please let me go, I’m sorry.” A deep sinister chuckle responds, “No, bitch.” He yanks your head back even farther. Feeling his hot breath against your face, he spits, “Beg for me to fuck you.” 

Tears pool in your eyes, shutting tightly when his blade grazes hurt skin once more. His hard length prods at your entrance – waiting. With a deep breath, you whisper oh-so pathetically. “Please fuck me.” You pray it's enough.

“Better than that. C'mon, or I’ll slit your pretty little fucking throat.” He yanks your hair, pushing into your skin. You panic, fat tears streaming down your face. “No! Don't kill me! Please, please just fuck me. Please.”  

Your screams turn into loud cries, echoing onto the tall trees that surround the scene. Nyen relishes in your wails, nails digging into the back of your scalp before his cock sinks into you roughly. You squirm with a loud pained gasp, you weren't close to ready for him. 

His knife (thankfully) removes itself from your neck, grip on the handle still iron strong. It doesn't give you anything to distract from as he stretches you out incredibly painfully. Inch by inch, your muscles contract and try to adjust to his size – but it's not nearly enough when he begins to start to move. 

“You're so fucking tight.” He lets out a sharp grunt, skin slapping against yours. “You've never fucked, haven’t you?” All you can do is cry. “Perfect.”

Forgetting the threat of his knife, he reminds you with a deep slash across your back. Pain vibrates through you, hands grip at soil and blades of grass in an attempt to stiffen the burning sensation that consumes you. Nausea festers and chokes at the back of your throat, certain that if you had eaten this morning it’d be spilling out your mouth by now.

It's an entrancing sight for Nyen, the large gash displays the crimson beautiful blood dripping down your arched back and onto your asscheeks as he slams into you. It’s a lot of blood. So much so that he feels how you physically weaken under him, fully incapacitated.

He decides to flip you back onto your back once again like the ragdoll you are. There, he can see how the light in your eyes start to dim. Red, and swollen, and tear rimmed – they stare back at him, wordlessly pleading for any type of mercy.

Nyen ignores it, choosing to grab your injured thighs and hike them over his broad shoulders, angling even deeper inside of you. Tight muscles draw him closer, grunting at the feeling of your warmth enveloping him. “Shit, you're a greedy fucking thing, aren't you?” He spits at you, grabbing your face to make sure your eyes stay on him, inches separating your faces. 

You don't respond, hoarse cries and moans are all the sounds you can make. Nyen’s mask taunts you, wide eyes never leaving yours as his nails scratch at your chest and waist, marking and trailing. Nyen’s nails even have the nerve to dig into your open wounds, forcing the blood to escape even faster. 

Any pleas you can muster out fall on deaf ears, and you almost wish he killed you before all this. But then it clicks that this is all just a game to him – you're simply a toy. The evil grin on his face is evident of this, he's truly enjoying watching this horrible scene come undone by his hands. The chase, the torture, your cries . It only makes his heavy cock harder and his thrusts sloppier. 

Your head is woozy and your vision is getting blurry. Numbness circuits through your body, the only thing you can feel is the sensation of his cock ramming into you over and over again. 

Nyen lets go of your face and chooses to grab at your bouncing tits, squeezing hard enough to create bruises. His twitching cock then rubs inside of you perfectly . A loud whine follows that causes Nyen’s jaw clench at the sudden extra pressure around his length, “Ah, hgh,– take my cum like the pathetic bitch you are,”

Stars in your vision soon mix with the stars in the night sky, you can't feel your legs anymore, neither your arms. Blood loss is getting to you – and quickly.

His body drives into yours, the sensation of gore under you squelches around against skin and dirt. Then, the knot building inside your numbing abdomen finally snaps, your breath hitches and you keen loudly – writhing around him.

Nyen soon follows, basically growling at how your pulsating pussy feverishly sucks him in and empties his balls. He rides the orgasm, fucking his cum deep inside you, and basking in the gripping release.

When he pulls out and off of you, your body limps on the ground. Overlooking, he can see how your lungs shallowly take in much needed air. Blood glistens off your cut adorned skin, and god is it a fucking beautiful sight.

He tucks his cock back into his blood soaked jeans, and he can already hear about how it's extra laundry to do now. But frankly, he doesn't care. Nyen gives you a once over, just to make sure the image of you really seeps into his brain. After well enough, he pockets his knife and walks over to the criminal leather bag that started this all. 

Suddenly, a weak grip holds onto his ankle. You.

You look at him with big, lidded eyes and croak out, “Wait… wait– am I… am I going to die?” He stares back at your frightened face with his reactionless one. It's quick before he gives you a sinister smile, then he yanks his ankle out from your grasp and grabs the bag that lays beside you. 

“Yeah, probably.” He then pulls a cigarette out of his back pocket and lights it, flicking hot ash onto your chest. 

“You were a good fuck though, I’ll give you that.” It’s patronizing. A final tear streams down your cheek as you watch him walk into the fog of the trees without another word.

You stare at the sky once again, leaves sway above and let moonlight peek through. Your inhales seem to be getting shorter and shorter, but you don't realize. You just pay attention to the movement of the leaves and the formation of stars. 

Grass picks at the back of your head, it’s soft – one of the only things you can feel besides excruciating pain. You let it be your pillow, the comfort that is ever fleeting from your grasp. 

This wasn't a fate you ever expected to have, it wasn't even proper death. It all makes you want to get up and fight for yourself. To live. He wasn't going to win. 

But reality sinks in when your vision fills with black spots, and you remember you're actively bleeding out, abused and hurt. Dying. It hurts to move, and the lone thought of welcoming it reverberates in your mind. It’s okay… It’s okay… 

With a final breath and ringing ears, darkness finally mercifully consumes you. 

To the dirt you were born, to the dirt you return to. 

And to the dirt you will rise up from again. 

[cherryblossomforest]

I woke up from a nightmare and I'm actually concerned about my mental health.

I need to start taking my mental health more seriously, not that I wasn't before but I need to do so much better. I am so scared of losing touch with reality, since I was younger that anxiety has been there, and then I watched Shutter Island and my brain has been more fearful since. I've accepted I am unwell due to things like my depression, having dissociated parts and experiencing hologram-like flashbacks because of my PTSD. But it's like I'm setting myself up to fail even more. I'm setting myself up to become more and more "unwell" and that's what needs to stop. I think part of feeling so unwell has been talking about my OCD thought processes too. I've been talking to my cousin and friends about how it feels like my thoughts are directly responsible for the fate of those around me and myself. I know that comes under magical thinking and thought neutralising and finally talking about that makes me scared I'm going crazy. Very similar to how bad my anxiety was when Dead Brother died and I thought that I caused it because I told others what he had done. I have to keep reminding myself that I do not wield that power and talking about it all will not make me go crazy but get me the help I deserve. At times I feel like talking about it will make me go crazy and then I need to seek reassurance that I'm actually okay which now that I'm typing this all out might just be part of the OCD. But regardless I need to do better for myself.

I often don't get enough sleep or sleep at the completely wrong time, I don't drink enough water and drink so much alcohol. I go weeks to months at times without seeing people and only speak to people on my phone. I don't eat enough either and arguably these are all things and behaviours from struggling with my mental health which isn't wrong but it isn't helping either. I can't afford to be losing my mind by myself at home. There is so much more I could be doing and I'm not saying it'll be easy but I can start with seeing Someone once a week. Unless I'm talking to someone on my phone I'm talking to my cat or myself and yeah that's bad! I should be leaving my house a minimum of twice a week anyway and I don't but I really need to.

I get these moments where I am so stressed out that it's like I'm on 100 and I feel I have all this energy not in the sense that I'm doing 101 things, but it just feels like my brain can't stop to think because then it'll be faced with a bunch of flashbacks and trauma memories so it keeps me going and going and going to not have a chance to think. I actively need to tell myself to stop and calm down because thinking about things won't kill me. I know at times it feels like remembering will but it won't but carrying on like this is just exacerbating my mental health.

I think I need to get out of the house, and I know this is severely limited because of my fibro but even just sitting in a cafe close to home during school hours can be enough. I need to stop being so alone all the time because it's not healthy and I can feel my brain slipping. I'm way too comfortable being isolated at home and nothing good comes from that! I don't even take a walk outside I'm always just stuck indoors and yeah no. There has never been a period where I have been home consistently for this long. I went from school to college to working full time and this only stopped because of the accident. It's understandable but it's making my mental health so much worse.

I also need to do everything in my power to get my medication for my sleep sorted out. It doesn't help that taking new meds scares me and that I'm sensitive to taking things but regardless not sleeping is not helping. At all. Lack of sleep makes my mental health dip like crazy and it does so very quickly. I need to get my sleep sorted and I know I'm writing this at 4am but that's the whole problem. I can't even take the medication I have because of alcohol (a vodka bottle that I've now poured down the sink) and that's where everything gets messy. Idk what the point of this post was except getting it out of my mind but I just know that I can't and don't want to carry on like this.

[sou-and-his-mouse]

For Sou, what it your first interaction with Tatsuki? And for ultimate, you need a hug, you look tired. And for Rat-Boy(Tatsuki), you like cheese? If your answer is yes, you know about the cheesecake?

Sou: Me and Tatsuki's first time meeting was...I don't think I could ever forget it even if I wanted to. -sigh- I'm...not sure this can be properly answered without telling the whole story. Sorry if you were hoping for a short and cute answer.

[content warning: suicidal ideation and implied physical abuse/neglect]

Sou: It was back when I was in the depths of my depression and rarely left the house. There was a bridge that crossed over a river and often got covered in fog. I liked how silent and lonely it felt, it was one of the only places I still felt comfortable visiting... One day they were there, standing at the guard rail staring over the edge with a dead look in their eye. I can't say I've never stopped and wondered if things would be better if I just threw myself off there so that look wasn't unfamiliar...

Sou: I still clearly remember the shock I felt, a sharp cold feeling tugging at my heart. It... was almost like I was looking at a younger version of myself. There was so much going through my head at the time, I panicked and told them, "Don't do it." Anything I could do to get them to step away from the edge, and they just turned to look at me and ask, "Why not?" in a broken voice. I- uh- never really asked Tatsuki about that day but something bad must have happened, they were covered in bruises and there was blood on their shirt. Most of the words are hazy, but at some point I tried to console them. Ask them about, "What about your family or those at home?", which in hindsight was pretty hypocritical of me considering...well, you know. They broke down crying, saying they could never go back there and there was no place for them anymore, there never was a place for them and... a lot of hurtful things about themselves that I'd rather not repeat...

Sou: I think they had just turned 18 recently, but seeing them like that... It's weird. When you're forced to grow up too fast it's like the child you never got to be doesn't just disappear, it hides inside you and in your vulnerable moments comes out...and at that moment all I saw was a scared child curled up in my arms crying because they were alone and unwanted in this world. It...felt almost like an echo of my own memories... One way or another, I doubt I could have ever lived with myself if I just left them there, so I told them they could stay at my place for a while, and they...looked shocked and asked why I would do that. Why would anyone be kind to a useless monster like themself? It took a bit to convince them I didn't mind really, I think I told them that they could help me with chores and they looked...sort of happy to be useful or something and finally agreed. I lent them my hoodie so they didn't get unneeded attention and walked back here, every time I looked over to check on them they were holding onto it like it had been so long since anyone gave them anything nice that they had no clue how to react and it was making them sick... Truth be told, I didn't really have a plan for what to do after, all I could think about was how to get them out of that place, but in the end they stuck around and I'm thankful for their company so it worked itself out.

Sou: -chuckles- I guess in a way you could say I adopted them like a stray cat. As for the other comment, I appreciate the sentiment but I can assure you I get plenty of hugs. Maybe not so much rest though...

Tats: -peering over Sou's shoulder- You've been typing for a while Sou, what was in that ask- R-R-Ratboy?! I- uh- I know it's a common mistake but I actually prefer mice. They're similar to rats but tiny and always look startled about everything hehe. OOOH, yes to both! I love any kind of cheese, except maybe blue, and really enjoy cheesecake~ One time I tried making Sou espresso cheesecake from a recipe me and Uro found. It turned out a bit messy but it was good! Also it made Sou happy so I was happy~

[androgynousblackbox]

I adore your Arranged Marriage AU. Have been eating it up from first story. It’s amazing. I love all of your character portrayals.

I am also so sorry I can’t bring myself to read Can't Remember To Forget You 😭

I am not complaining! You write what makes you happy. I just wanted to say that my anxious self is looking at the latest installment with tears of ‘wanna, but also can’t’. M’happy ending. I am hugging it to my chest, because what your wrote it beautiful and made me smile, laugh snd rage. Effing angels.

Your writing is beautiful, just wanted you to know that if there is a reviewer absent from the usual collection, it’s me. Me a scaredy cat that might’ve overdosed on angst during the tail-end of How to Lose a Lucifer in 10 Days. And I still love the AU to pieces. I am just weak for happy endings and fluff.

(Might still read Can't Remember To Forget You. When I am not overdosed on angsty stories. Fluff for now. All the fluff!)

Aww, it's okay! I think I lost a few people for the angst by the end, so I was kinda expecting already that wasn't going to be a popular entry. It's literally called the Bad Ending AU for a reason lmao If it's worth something, let me tell you that everything in that series is always meant to have a happy ending. Always. It's my comfort AU and I can't stand the thought of leaving these idiots suffering for long. I can't do it. For that story in particular, I still have a bunch of fluffy moments I want to add. Like, the whole concept is basically an excuse to have Alastor pining after Lucifer. We just might have a bumpy road until we get into that happy ending, because I think it will make it sweeter that way, but I understand that not everyone is up for the bumpiness in the first place and that is okay <3 Also, there is still the Fluffy AU that is This Life We Build! That one is more smutty, but also literally just fluff with no plot, no conflict, not sads, just husbands being lovey dovey husbands while they wait for their baby. I am still writing for that one too and hopefully can update it in the near future! I also have kinda planned a prequel about how these idiots got together, a third part that is going to be more loose on the plot to let everyone relax a little with a bit of sads to give it some flavor and who knows what else! Point is, as long this thing keep going, it will never be to leave anyone miserable forever. I want them to be happy too.

Thank you so much for your kind words! I am so glad you enjoyed my writing, which means the absolute fuck to me <3

[atqh16]

Sasunaru vampire au. Sasuke is finding it difficult to feed

“I really don’t want to do this”

"Is this your first time?"

"No Naruto, it is not my first time but it doesn't make it any less embarrassing!"

"Cause we're friends?"

"Cause we're parked five feet away from the festival grounds and anyone can see us!"

"Kurama isn't back yet! If we move the car he might not find us!"

"It's stupid that your cat can perform magic but will somehow get lost just because we move"

"He's a familiar. He helps with magic, he doesn't do it. Now are we going to do this or not?"

"I am not straddling you Naruto."

"I'm gonna go find a cup then," the blonde moved to open his door but was stopped by the Uchiha reaching out to clutch his shirt.

"Fine! Fine!", he exclaims, struggling to stretch his leg out to climb over the console and reach the other side of Naruto's thigh. Thanking the high heavens that both of them somehow had the foresight to buy a car with seats that could be adjusted in every way possible so his head wasn't bumping the ceiling when he was finally and properly seated on his best friend's lap.

Naruto leans back and turns his head to the side, "Go on then," he invites, trying to look nonchalant over the situation and being woefully betrayed by the flush of his cheeks. But his voice is still as comforting as it was all those weeks ago when Sasuke had fed on him for the first time.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since they’ve had to pack up and run after hunters managed to trace them to their apartment. Comfort was not a priority but even then they would usually do Sasuke's feeding sessions in the comfort of the motels they'd be staying in for the night. They'd be sitting side by side with their faces inches from each other and even then the whole affair still came with a delicate bubble of intimacy that neither of them were willing to examine any closer. But outright straddling his friend alluded to something else entirely. Unfortunately because of the festival, all the establishments in the small village had no vacancies so they were stuck with the car. To Naruto's credit, they had tried to do it with Sasuke standing outside his door but that just made it look even more suspicious to passers-bys. Especially since the whole thing would take at least 10 minutes. The back seat was currently full of their possessions and weapons and had just enough space for Kurama to sleep, stretch, and do whatever cat familiars do. At least this way most people who saw them would be too embarrassed to keep looking.

"Sasuke if you don't start I really am just going to get a cup"

"Fine! Fine! Just, lean back alright"

Naruto did so, turning his head to the right again, knowing that Sasuke preferred to go for the left side and the fact that Naruto even knew that made the hate Sasuke had for himself sting even more, like acid on bare skin, and he just couldn't move.

He expects Naruto to scold him again for taking too long but instead, he feels warm hands cup his cheeks and he opens his eyes to see blue, made dark from the lack of light, studying him with an understanding so familiar that it turns the painful burn into a soothing warmth that loosened his muscles and somehow made him feel like he was home, the way those familiar cerulean irises and whiskered cheeks always did.

"It's ok," Naruto whispers, " You have me and I have you remember?

Sasuke takes a deep calming breath and nods, left hand raised to Naruto's neck to slowly turn his head to the right for the third time. His other hand holds the back of his friend's neck so his thumb can trace the side of it, over the pale twin circular scars left over by his fangs from previous feedings. The rushing flow of blood from the artery beneath it calls to him but more than that he felt guided by its pulsing warmth. He lowers his right hand and halts it over his friend's heart, galloping beneath his palm in a furious race, but not out of fear.

Finally, he leans forward into the crook of it, lips resting deliberately on warm skin before opening them to cautiously sink through with his fangs. There is the usual sharp intake of air that Naruto insists every time was not from pain but it never made the Uchiha feel any less guilty after. But this time the left hand that had been palming the blonde's cheek raises to tenderly run its fingers through his hair. As if the air had been released out of him, Naruto deflated and sunk into the car seat content. Lips forming a smile that Sasuke can feel in the way the skin beneath his cheek pulls

And therein lies the problem.

Because it's not the blood that pulls Sasuka in. It is not the thirst that makes him seek it out. It is not the act that pulls him back.

It's the tanned skin and the heat from it under his pale fingers. It's the way the pounding heart would calmly soothe into a pleasant thrum. The intoxicating pheromones drowning his lungs. The feel of muscles uncoiling their knots and welcoming him in. It's Naruto loving caring for him so much to be willing to not only give, but to offer himself to Sasuke as if it was his all along and Naruto was simply giving it back. But it still felt wrong for him to so freely take.

So lost was he in the moment that it took him a second to realize they hadn't timed it. In alarm he pulls away, lips and teeth still stained red, to look for his phone. 12 minutes. He pulls out a wet wipe and smoothes it over his best friend's neck which was also stained red.

"Naruto?" he whispers, gently tapping his friend's cheeks as he wipes his lips, "Naruto? You OK?"

The blonde lets out a sound akin to what one would make after a long nap. He looks up at him with bleary eyes and a sleepy smile and raises a hand to the Uchiha’s cheeks to give it a hard but painless tap.

"You ok?" Naruto's words came out a bit slurred but Sasuke knew from previous experience that it was not a point of worry, so he sighed and lifted a hand to place over Naruto's that was still on his cheek. It would be so easy to pull it to his lips and rest them on its palm. So he pulls it down and replaces the loss of warmth by leaning forward to rest his head on Naruto's.

"I'm ok," he responds and the grin on Naruto's face widens just a bit.

"I'm gonna go to sleep"

"Ok"

"You're gonna be here when I wake up right?"

"Yes"

"Promise?"

Something in Sasuke's chest tightens in a strange melded knot of affection and grief. Unable to hold back, he raises his head to press his lips on his friend's forehead in a kiss.

"I promise"

[goldenchunkycat]

Certain things can't be overcome, you just have to learn how to live with it...

- Pairing: Peeta Mellark x Therapist!Reader - Summary: Even if he loves you, even if you love him, her memory won't let you have a happy ending.

-

Warnings: Mention of trauma, PTSD, requited love but unrequited love too ? it's complicated, hurt and comfort ? -

A/N: I just finished watching Hunger Games and boyyy, Peeta deserved better. Like, fight me idc, he's the sweetest ever, must protect. Feedback and comments are appreciated ♡

"What do you remember, Peeta ?"

"Blood. Screams. Lots of screams."

"What period of your life are you talking about?"

"My teenage years? The games, I think. There was a lot of death. S-so much death…"

"It's okay Peeta, you're safe now."

"Am I..?"

"Of course you are. Look around you. Tell me three things that you can see."

"You. A vase and...a cat."

"Three things that you can hear."

"Your voice, the birds and a kettle."

"You're doing good Peeta. Now three things that you can smell ?"

"Your fragrance, bread and lavender."

"Excellent. See ? There's nothing here which can harm you. Well except for Mittens but I swear that he's a good companion. Hold on I'll be back in a few seconds."

Peeta watched you get up from your seat and walk to the kitchen, a smile on your face. He loved to see you smile. You were so pretty when you smiled.

"Peeta ! Would you like some tea ?"

The boy smiled to himself and answered "Yes !" before taking a look at his surroundings, noticing once again the cozy decorations which made your house look cozy. He has been there so many time that he could tell what and where were the objects in the room with his eyes closed.

"Here. I brought us some of the bread that you gave me. What do you think about Camomille tea ?"

"Sounds perfect, thank you."

A comfortable silence took over the room, the sound of water filling glasses and birds singing outside adding to the serenity Peeta felt. He wasn't used to feeling like this. So…peaceful. He only felt that way when he was in this room. No. When he was with you. But every time he questioned his feelings for you, a name kept coming to his mind.

"Katniss."

"Yeah ? What can you tell me about her ?" you got comfortable in your seat, crossing you legs and taking a sip of your tea.

"She was a mutt- No. She was my first love. She's the… the Mockingjay. Katniss Everdeen, tribute of District Twelve." Peeta murmured, his gaze growing distant as the words left his mouth. And yet, he continued to speak, trying to make an effort but… "She is the reason for the war. The reason why- why all those people- Argh!" the young man shouted and stood up, grabbing his hair and walking at an increasing pace around the room. "My name is Peeta Mellark and I'm from District 12. My name is…"

"Peeta Mellark and you're a baker in Senew."

"Katniss-"

"Left to live her life in the forest."

"You're lying!" he approached you with long strides, pointing an accusing finger at your face.

You put your cup down and sat up straight, shrinking into your seat so that Peeta wouldn't perceive you as a threat. "No Peeta. I am not. All of this. What they said, what they did to you, it's all gone." you added in a soft voice, in an effort to get him through this post-traumatic episode as calmly as possible.

"Is- is it..?" he asked with a quivering voice, falling on his knee just in front of you.

You reached out to him, hesitated, and then brought your hand back to you. He was your patient, he needed a professional, not physical affection. "It's all gone. You've lived here since the end of the rebellion, you said you always wanted to be a baker who could help anyone in need. Everyone loves your food, people come from everywhere to get a piece of cake."

"Yeah, I always wanted to be a baker…" he whispered. He inhaled deeply, trying to regulate his breathing, but judging by the trembling of his hands you knew he was about to give in. "Why… Why can't I just overcome it ? All of this, the nightmares, the screams, the memories. Her…" he sobbed, resting his head on your legs as he hid his face. He didn't want you to see him in such a pitiful state.

"Certain things can't be overcome, you just have to learn how to live with it. You do things that you like, meet people that you love, eat what you enjoy the most. You live your daily life and hope that the pain will go away, you change your mind and try to not think about the things that you lost. You learn everything again. Yo take baby step."

"Did you- did you do all of this..?"

"Yes, yes I did…" your voice broke a little but you tried to keep a strong exterior for Peeta, you had to be the one to console him, not the other way around. "We all suffered from what happened two years ago. We all have lost loved ones. Sometimes their presence lingers in the air. You think you hear them, you hear them laugh. But it's just a memory, something your mind made up to make you feel better…"

"I listen to the laughs of someone that I like. I watch him smile. He's just right there in front of me, it's enough. I remember that I'm not alone, I'm not the only one who suffered, we all are here for each other, to help, protect and provide."

"Sometimes I- I hear a laugh. A woman's laugh. I see the glimpse of her smile and I feel the stroke of her hands on my hair. And- It feels so real."

"Does it ?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't it just a memory ?"

"No. It's real. You're real."

"Peeta..."

"I'm so sorry, you deserve so much better than a guy with a bunch of traumas who can't forget about his first love."

"You-" you burst into tears. How could you be the therapist here when this man, this precious, kind and lovable man was degrading himself for others mistakes. When the man that you secretly loved was telling you that his heart could never truly belongs to you ? "You are so much more, Peeta, so much more."

[redsasexualdisaster]

more kittycrons [part 2 😳]

the meowning after

it was not the chill of the morning breeze that woke nemesor zanrdekh today, but the feeling of movement. the soft breathing motions of his beloved vargard. the somali cat burried his pink nose into the warm pelt, and sneezed. he blinked awake and saw long grey fur. obyron was brown furred and muscular. oh. now in his wiser years, zandrekh did not keep a habit of waking up next to strangers and he began to worry how he could possibly have awoken next to his phaeron.

obyron was a heavy sleeper by nature and before he and zandrekh had entered a relationship he would not have startled awake from certain sounds. like his nemesors noises of fear. his head was up in seconds and he let out a worried meow. the nemesor's ears were flattened and he dove under obyron's back leg, afraid and trembling. it took some time and calming purrs for him remind his nemesor where they were, and that he was safe as they went over the previous nights events. 'i am here, dear nemesor. the sky is light and we,' he gestured to a sleeping imotekh, then to the somali with his snout, 'are all safe.'

he could feel zandrekh purring softly in attempt to destress. the rumbling of obyron's voice was soothing and he was well practiced in grounding his partner when reality could become frightening. it was slowly coming back… the phaeron's conversation about an uprising of flayed ones… the abrupt appearance of obyron and the damned winter cold that froze his joints. they had warmed him together that night. it was romantic…

as a phaeron imotekh has never allowed himself to indulge in unnecessary things outside the battlefield. and on the battlefield, where a sharp mind was needed and reflexes were what kept him alive. breathing and moving and eating when strength was low, and sleeping only when he knew he was safe - those were neccessary. but when he woke well rested and calm enough to have no need to think upon the problems of yesterday, he realised that he may have actually been relaxed. and comfortable in the company of others. he was not used to this. seeing zandrekh and his… obyron, he remembered now. they were grooming each other and chirping happily. he wasn't jealous…

he let out a yawn, tasting the air. 'later than i imagined…' he mused, made to roll onto his back and stretch his legs when he felt a soft prodding at his side.

'good meowning, my lord. may i be so bold as to ask if i can assist with your pelt?' zandrekh asked, looking much more alert then the night before. was the nemesor always so small? was imotekh's own pelt so unclean and scruffy as to bother such a tiny overlord?? standing up now, the difference in their view was more apparent. he remembered previously when the nemesor had tried to help groom him, and was unable to stop a trill of laughter coming out.

'ah. by yourself i do not recommend trying.' he almost felt bad for discouraging zandrekh's eagerness. but then he saw the handsome shape of obyron approach his partner.

'i can assist my nemesor if you are in need, my phaeron,' the jaguarundi being so close reminded him of obyrons strong paws squishing his back leg as he drooled in his sleep. cute…

now what was he to do with such helpful subjects… in a bold move, imotekh sat up straight and puffed out his chest putting his famous fur on display. zandrekh let out an appreciative noise.

'morning has yet to pass. service me it it pleases you, both.'

the three of them did a better job than when the phaeron had tended to himself, or when he and orikan used to outside of their plotting. since the cryptek sphynx had no fur he was quite terrible with the task.

if imotekh had never fought to the rank of phaeron, he supposed he would've done this with ordinary soldiers he might've called comrades. being a dynast meant comforts like trust or friendship were given up so it was almost pleasant to be cared for, not feared.

after cleaning and stretching and picking some large prey for them to share, the stormlord was stuck, well fed and relaxed against the cave wall, soft belly exposed as zandrekh rubbed against him with delight, and obyron was carefully licking away the blood from his face. they took note of each others facial scars. he gave the vargard a nudge with his nose. 'your back right leg. how bad is it?'

obyron was taken aback, he didn't expect anyone to take notice of yesterdays injury. was his phaeron testing him? the vargard gave his back legs a stretch hoping he didn't wince. the cold was a hinderance when it came to healing. the stormlord looked displeased.

'a minor concern, my lord. it won't affect my efforts, i assure you.' obyron was squashed by zandrekh then, the nemesor standing between the two.

'obyron, why didn't you say so? when was the last time a cryptek gave you a look over?' the vargard went on to explain how he'd been working harder than usual and had little time to look over cuts and scrapes, and even less time to see his overlord.

'these two were so open about their concerns and affections,' imotekh thought, definately not longing for when he had last felt like that.

'the cold brings out insurgents who ignore obvious risks, hoping for easy victories,' the forest cat confirmed. 'but nothing my soldiers can't handle.' he noticed zandrekh perk up at that. the little somali circled obyron, his tail tracing the larger cat as he walked. 'naturally, i will be leading with you in the charge. why, i'd depart for the hills right now if-' he stopped and remembered his frail body. 'well... after some rest i'm sure i'll be as spry as ever.'

the nemesor agreed to spend the nights with imotekh, obyron accompanying him thoughout the day. when the sky was dark and and cold mists were blowing, obyron flanked his partner towards the small cave again. he sat one rock step above while zandrekh took time to climb upwards. he refused all help offered by obyron so the jaguarundi could only offer encouraging chirps and a warm side to lean against. zandrekh saw the imposing figure of imotekh, pacing while his feathery tail swayed slowly, when they arrived. he must have been deep in thought till the somali announced their presence.

'ah, lord imotekh..' the cold night air made his voice tremble a tad. the comforting pressure of obyron next to him helped as they were guided towards his nest, which zandrekh noted now had extra fur and things for comfort.

'nemesor,' imotekh curled around his small body in welcome. 'vargard obyron. i trust that you are well?' he brushed his tail along obyron's side as they settled into a comfortable pile. zandrekh easily relaxed himself as the warmth of two very handsome cats eased his aches. it was near amusing seeing his love and his lord trying to adjust to the same situation all over again, while he was no stranger to a tryst or two in his youth...

'my lord,' obyron started, only after a soft nudge from zandrekh. he was apprehensive but still receptive to being held or… petted? he dipped his head down to avoid his phaeron's weighty gaze, rumbling quietly. zandrekh's purring kept him grounded.

'that we are,' the smaller nemesor stopped to yawn and turned towards obyron's round face, 'forgive me, my friend, but the journey here has tired me out.' he could hardly keep his eyes from closing, the feeling of safety and being lightly squished by his two protectors was heavenly for his frail body.

despite knowing his nemesor was leaving him to the mercy of the stormlord, obyron curled tighter around his small orange body wrapping his tail around too. they always fit together so well. 'rest well, zandrekh,' he murmured his lords name so only the tiniest of pointed ears could hear.

'night, my loves,' zandrekh mumbled, imotekh burrying his nose into the scruff of his neck. the forest cat was content listening to his nemesor's snores and stroking his vargard with his tail. until he realised that obyron was looking at him, warm brown eyes conflicted. that would not do.

'speak your mind, vargard.'

obyron dared not look directly at the stormlord, letting out a nervous warble. it had taken near a year to become accustomed to zandrekh's affections and sincerity. and now his phaeron was charming him - had already enamoured his lord zandrekh - and it was working?! he was so flustered.

'this soldier begs your forgiveness. i… am unaccustomed to such…' he was about to bow his head in shame before being interrupted.

'offering myself to your nemesor is my decision, you should be well aware that under my watch you need only concern yourself with his wellbeing,' his voice was low and he let out an appreciative purr. 'though i would indulge you just as much if desired.'

then obyron did lower his head to his paws. they chirped and trilled back and forth while obyron gathered his thoughts. he rested his head beside zandrekh's and against the stormlord's front, his chest fur hypnotically soft.

'for as long as my lord needs, i will be by your side, my nemesor,' he hoped this would suffice, and was answered with a soft head brushing against his as they curled closer together and drifted off to sleep.

obyron was dreaming. he was curled up and surrounded by warmth. he saw two bright eyes looking up at him, recognising the delicate features of his lord zandrekh. he smiled before he was gently headbutted as the somali tucked his head below obyron's and purr-growled in content. had his lord always been so large though? then a slight feeling of movement prodded against his stomach and he knew exactly what that meant.

'lord zandrekh, you are expecting kits..!' the jaguarundi was elated and fully of the belief they were his. he could feel gentle vibrations as the somali replied into his fur.

'any day now, my love. i know you'll make wonderful fathers..' this made obyron stop and think. and he felt another weight on his back, familliar and extra fluffy. their phaeron, obyron knew. imotekh rumbled with pride, and the feeling was mutual.

'while they will be possible successors of mine, they will always be our progyny first,' the forest cat nuzzled obyrons back, 'and if i could, i'd will it so you could continue my legacy too.' the jaguarundi purred with delight, leaning back to reciprocate his affections. he had to be dreaming knowing there was no way he could be so seduced by his lord without danger, and that his heart belonged only to zandrekh .

maybe in another life it could be so.

-----

i have too much free time to recover from things so its time for more ooc catcron fics. somehow i keep making multiships but its more fun. maybe someday i can move on to writing necrontyr or people ? §(*￣▽￣*)§