#my camera still doesn't work
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Krill Face Closeup
Sorry I had to stand on your face to get good pictures, the lore community thanks you for your patience and understanding
#krill have eyes and mouths confirmed#sky lore#sky children of the light#sky cotl#skyblr#that sky game#sky cotl photography#sky cotl screenshots#my camera still doesn't work#I'm so tired of using the snipping tool#in other news#Baffled Botanist's light is amazing#also this is from#season of shattering#thanks#bye
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love the way sonic and Sage are set up on my shelf right now
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#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sage the ai#art tag#still haven't taken real photos of my sage doll yet sorry ^^; working off of a really bad camera#love that the collectors figure comes w the closed eyes btw its a really cute expression sonic doesn't get 2 make much
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frickin shite that was the worst small group I've ever been to in my life
#the eisegesis made me want to rattle out of my bones in frustration#got corrected for trying to cross-reference because ''we only stick to our one passage'' and nearly fucking cried about it#I PHYSICALLY CANNOT NOT CROSS-REFERENCE SCRIPTURE#not only is it a shitty hermeneutical process but it's also just Not How My Brain Works!!#y'all have seen me crossreference on this blog it isn't just the Bible! I can't Not crossreference things to save my life#and I basically got (admittedly she was trying to be kind about it) corrected in front of the entire group of 20somethings#and the couple that leads it are so PARTICULAR and nitpicky and it has to be done their way or you're gonna get corrected#my first introduction to her was her coming up to me while I was working the sound booth and telling me about something#wrong with my production setup that I KNEW ABOUT and WAS AND STILL AM NOT ABLE TO CHANGE#(our camera for livestreams doesn't have a high enough mount and I don't have space to extend it higher so we catch the tops#of people's heads in the camera shot)#and the girl I went bc I want to get to know her better WASNT EVEN THERE#I spent the entire time trying not to cry or look at anyone#I need to find a different small group... sorry all the kids my age were nice but I can't handle the structure or leaders#Lu rambles#adulthood woes
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'I hope you like pain!' screams my character from Neverwinter Nights 2 lying on the ground and dying (aka Lillian Dragon/aka Kalach-Cha/aka Knight-Captain).
My thoughts: She's almost as frightening and tough as my Revan (aka Alexandra Forst), who concludes peacefully, 'That must've hurt!' looking at the corpses of the enemies around her.
#maybe the game is nice but the camera is awful (i used to play it in my childhood but can't recall such problems)#i can't do anything with that camera so that it works properly everywhere even inside houses caves and etc.#so i start feeling dizzy after 10 minutes playing!#also i begin suspecting that i have an allergy to some obsidian tropes (hello kotor 2!)#although this game doesn't seem dark and gloomy from the beginning -quite otherwise#still like bioware beginnings more#well... music is fantastic in nwn 2jeremy soul you're music is always in my heart#luckily he worked on nwn 2 osts#nwn 2#neverwinter nights#kotor#knights of the old republic#revan#kalach cha#neverwinter nights 2#bags... my favourite bags!#silly thoughts#star wars#kotor 1#knight captain#female revan
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accidentally* brainstormed a very complete outline for chapters 4-8 for eih, which should theoretically take us through Part 1. which is. you know. a godsend or whatever.
*accidentally meaning i was just eating delicious pancakes and the thoughts happened. usually its me crying screaming and shitting myself in front of an empty word document where ideas manifest. this is notably much more pleasant.
#that alone makes this weekend a good one#i also bought (leased) a new car yesterday!!!#which is exciting for me because i've been driving my first car for 16 years#even though its a base model its still SO much more advanced#hello how did i live without a backup camera of this long#also like. carplay. and auto windshield wipers. and keyless entry/start. and adjustable steering wheel#AND its electric! kinda. (a plug-in hybrid so has both engines but can run on only electric)#i've finally joined the 21st century#although tbh i thought my first car of my adult life may be something bougie. a BMW or some shit#alas i grew up to be too practical. so i bought a prius. because of course.#listen i live in california and wanted to go electric for forever#alas elon shat the bed by being elon so a tesla was an absolute no go#its funny like... you know that most of your customers for these cars were well-off environment-conscious liberals right#i've seen a tesla with a bumper that says 'i bought this before i knew elon was crazy'#which. like. yeah. fair#other fun events from last week. there was a fire super close to our house and we were in the evacuation zone#which is like. wow. i know its been dry and windy but i never thought it would actually happen HERE#everything is okay and we're safe and it was put out really fast#but definitely gave us a pause and made us think about whats important (our cat. everything else is replaceable.)#but another reason this weekend is good: it RAINED. last night and today.#listen i've been... extremely extremely extremely sad the past week#because of everything. because of 'allowance' of ice agents hospitals and thinking about what i would do and risk because FUCK THEM#suffering isn't moral and doesn't help anyone. just trying to find a way to help my community#and three nice things happening AND just hearing the border fire is under control...#its going to be okay. it really is.#anyway this post is about FANFICTIOn#fun fact i started looking into numerology that has to do with ying-yang#which is helping me decide on how many chapters per 'part'#its clever and unnecessary but makes me happy so whatever#chapter 4 of eih is ~2k works now as a mostly-outline
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#bonus under the cut getting that snout facing right at the camera#camerupt#early 2000s animation cow‚ apparently. that's what someone just said about the bonus image. i honestly never understood this thing's name#i always thought it was pretty obviously a cow. but then its name implies camel. camel erupt. camerupt. is there a specific kind of#camel that just looks like a cow?? or. what. or am i just misremembering what camels look like#either way‚ i still think this pokémon is pretty cool‚ but i don't really use it ever in my own playthroughs. i don't think i *ever* have#not even in pokémon colosseum where i'm pretty sure you can get a shadow numel at some point. bc i already had a fire-type#not sure which one it was but it was definitely one of them. maybe cyndaquil? because of the dudes with the johto starters#that you fight near the beginning in pppp uuuhhh the PHENAC city i couldn't remember the name. for a second there.#i wasn't aware as a kid that their outfits corresponded to the type of the starter they had and also that you could only fight one of them#i think as a kid i was under the impression that there was only the one. for some reason i remember fighting the green one#oh wait they have the second-evos yeah. cuz he had bayleef. and the red one would've had quilava. not cyndaquil#ugh my memory is not very good evidently. i'm writing these tags after work. normally i do them right when i wake up but this time i just#do not have an excuse for not being able to remember shit. this is just on me. maybe it's amplified by the fact that i have yet to eat today#which i have a very bad habit of doing. forgetting to eat all day and not eating until like 5 and then that being my only meal for the day#i'm trynna get better about it but it is Not easy for some reason. for something that should be decidedly very simple#but my brain doesn't often let me eat until i've completed all of my silly little Tasks. so. idk. this will however post the day after i've#arrived back home from my trip which is nice. the first time future me will be sleeping in her own bed again. good luck again future me#you might need it
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urg. zombie injured her paw? leg? in some way (limping). letting her rest and reevaluating from there...
#dogblr#zombie#she slid to a halt running fast in the mudroom#and i think she may have done something to her pawpad?#at least that's better than an actual wrist or shoulder injury#like one month out from working season#she will be SO upset if she doesn't get to run#(note: she is not injured enough to like...not try and eat a baby mouse that was on my kitchen floor).#will call the vet tomorrow. just. urg. my girl :(#she limps a lot on the dirt road and barely at all on the tile and laminate in the house i don't know what that means but#let's just say if she's out for the season or permanently it probably means sigurd is out too? he won't run without her#edit: we got the video of her fall from our mudroom camera and it's the slightest little trip? hoping it's not serious#but i am still going to have the vet fully clear her before she's put in work
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maybe i should start building a bit of a portfolio and try to get invited to events as a photographer 🤔
#one of my friends did that but she has a way better camera#mine was good 20 years ago and really doesn't work when there's low lighting#so most of concerts are out#but still.....
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5 mins !!!!
#camera talks#YAYYYY#im so so so excited guys#ik ive listened to the demo already but whatever !! i can still be excited for the song bc its music !!!#:DD#also so very off topic but having extreme attatchment to objects makes them aging and deteriorating really really hard#(<- guy whos main blanket is falling apart entirely but he really really doesn't want to get a new one and will cry over that)#anyways !!!#so excited#im going to play it to go to bed tonight lol#also i did Not work on my speech#i'll do that before work tomorrow#i have Sooooo much to do tomorrow. oops#anyways :)
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
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#i keep hallucinating????#after i wake up#but it's not sleep paralysis bc i can move and i woke up my partner and it was still happening#i've seen a woman and a big dog and my partner doing a scary face at me and just now it was a man with a camera pointed at me#which is like not even related to the dream i was having at all???#dreamt i was working at the school i used to work at and the girls were being told to swim in the canal that had dangerous sea animals in#and I've had sleep paralysis a few times and i've done the whole wiggling your toes business#i'm full on chatting and moving around and it doesn't end
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5cace60ea7a7e7edb57611ed878a96b4/e2086429031923ff-f7/s540x810/4637e1c837c42fadc2088bf22397ebab2a27b6ff.jpg)
Umm guys I think it snowed
#snow#Tw snow#Outside#I took this with my front camera bc the back one doesn't work#its still a decent pic#posting tag
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Time to break out the vintage fall music playlists.
#Cade.Txts#im. so excited for fall weather...save me fall weather...#Excited for winter but im scared its not gonna snow much...Miss how it snowed when i was a kid :(#<-cries in werewolf who misses snooow#i also wanna try n get outside more to take photos w my camera. i recently found my older camera! gonna clean it up n see#if it'll still work or not. am not sure what kinda camera it is. its not vintage or anything just a older small camera.#if it doesn't work i'll just stick w my other one.#wanna learn how to use it better cus im pretty clueless w it honestly...i just kinda pouint it at stuff randomly#it has all these different settings n idk how to use em.#s o maybe expect photos on my photography blog. maybe. if i dont get too scared to leave my house.
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"all your coursework is asynchronous and can be done entirely on your own time offline!" :)
"but your teacher is available in a video chat 4 hours a day and you should come meet them on day one!" :(
#I HATE VIDEO CALLS#and it's in ms teams which doesn't even work half the time#i don't want to be on camera nor should i have to be#they also still haven't changed the deadname/former legal name on my account#so now the whole class gets to see my deadname and incorrectly assume my gender :)
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the older I get, the more the technological changes I've lived through as a millennial feel bizarre to me. we had computers in my primary school classroom; I first learned to type on a typewriter. I had a cellphone as a teenager, but still needed a physical train timetable. my parents listened to LP records when I was growing up; meanwhile, my childhood cassette tape collection became a CD collection, until I started downloading mp3s on kazaa over our 56k modem internet connection to play in winamp on my desktop computer, and now my laptop doesn't even have a disc tray. I used to save my word documents on floppy discs. I grew up using the rotary phone at my grandparents' house and our wall-connected landline; my mother's first cellphone was so big, we called it The Brick. I once took my desktop computer - monitor, tower and all - on the train to attend a LAN party at a friend's house where we had to connect to the internet with physical cables to play together, and where one friend's massive CRT monitor wouldn't fit on any available table. as kids, we used to make concertina caterpillars in class with the punctured and perforated paper strips that were left over whenever anything was printed on the room's dot matrix printer, which was outdated by the time I was in high school. VHS tapes became DVDs, and you could still rent both at the local video store when I was first married, but those shops all died out within the next six years. my facebook account predates the iphone camera - I used to carry around a separate digital camera and manually upload photos to the computer in order to post them; there are rolls of undeveloped film from my childhood still in envelopes from the chemist's in my childhood photo albums. I have a photo album from my wedding, but no physical albums of my child; by then, we were all posting online, and now that's a decade's worth of pictures I'd have to sort through manually in order to create one. there are video games I tell my son about but can't ever show him because the consoles they used to run on are all obsolete and the games were never remastered for the new ones that don't have the requisite backwards compatibility. I used to have a walkman for car trips as a kid; then I had a discman and a plastic hardshell case of CDs to carry around as a teenager; later, a friend gave my husband and I engraved matching ipods as a wedding present, and we used them both until they stopped working; now they're obsolete. today I texted my mother, who was born in 1950, a tiktok upload of an instructional video for girls from 1956 on how to look after their hair and nails and fold their clothes. my father was born four years after the invention of colour televison; he worked in radio and print journalism, and in the years before his health declined, even though he logically understood that newspapers existed online, he would clip out articles from the physical paper, put them in an envelope and mail them to me overseas if he wanted me to read them. and now I hold the world in a glass-faced rectangle, and I have access to everything and ownership of nothing, and everything I write online can potentially be wiped out at the drop of a hat by the ego of an idiot manchild billionaire. as a child, I wore a watch, but like most of my generation, I stopped when cellphones started telling us the time and they became redundant. now, my son wears a smartwatch so we can call him home from playing in the neighbourhood park, and there's a tanline on his wrist ike the one I haven't had since the age of fifteen. and I wonder: what will 2030 look like?
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there was a post on rdt about people making cute interactions between idols all about shipping, how weird and strange, they're friends! they hug each other because they're friends! and i was like well yeah, but also, you can v much be friends and still have a job that requires you to do fanservice for your fans! and it got a lot of upvotes but i suppose it might have failed to get through to some, because today i saw another thread about shipping and some comments complained about people making friendly interactions all about shipping and fanservice, and, well! you can't always succeed i suppose
#i knooooooow they're all fresh-faced teenagers whose primary lens on idol relationships is them and their crushes/besties#but i PROMMY that even if an idol is very natural‚ open and sincere (doesn't really have a separate 'idol persona') -- they're still#AT WORK and IN FRONT OF CAMERAS. soooo many words have been written about mundane non-celebrity women feeling the weight of#a Gaze on them even when they're completely alone‚ schooling their features into something pleasant with no one there to see them‚#imagining how they'd look like in a camera even though there's no cameras in the room with them -- and these are Regular Women#who just Exist In Society and not idols whose faces reactions and personality are a product to be marketed and sold. like look i'm not#saying idols have no true friendships they DO but look me straight into the eye and tell me that when an idol comes up to another idol#during a fansign/fanmeet and cuddles them it's 1000% because they just Felt Like It and Nothing Else. WITHOUT saying 'i hug my friends#randomly too!'. seriously.#shrimp thoughts
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