#my brother’s also out skiing today did you see him

[habken]

i was having a horrible Irritable Bowel Disease moment with no available bathrooms (skiing) and i looked at your art if izuku on the lift up to midmountain where there is a bathroom(i literally never have my phone out on the lift otherwise) and he helped me through it so thanks and i will be following

Deku out here saving everybody no matter the universe we love to see it

[rockatanskette]

Semi-related to my post on how human conservation practices, but I have a cold today, and it's got me thinking about biological altruism—the biological imperative to put other creatures ahead of yourself, to benefit the group.

When talking about possible interactions with other species, we talk a lot about humans being crazy and thrill-seeking and impossible to kill. Never use a warning shot as an incentive to keep humans out of a fight; it'll just make them angry. And that's true. But a valid criticism I've seen in the "Earth is a death world" community is that according to our understanding of evolution, every planet must be some form of death world. Competition fosters evolution—the wolf with sharper claws survives when its litter mates die. You can't reach space travel without some casualties along the way.

But the dog survives because it makes friends with the strange ape carrying a sharp stick. And the strange ape survives because it befriends the wolf. Underneath the death world is an inextricable and undeniable layer of the bond world; the love world; the world, together.

I imagine some worlds are not death worlds. They're peaceful and tranquil. I suspect there are worlds far more deadly than Earth, where the skies rain diamonds, harder than any substance we know with the species to match. And I imagine that they are united in their confusion at the duality of humankind.

Today is a great example: I have a cold, and I want someone to take care of me, but the people who would are immunocompromised, also sick, or live 8 hours away, respectfully. I also want no one within the walls of my apartment or I will eat them. I feel gross, I feel tired, and I don't want a single human being anywhere near me, even if they did bring soup.

In my constant scrolling through my phone today, I decided to look up why the hell I feel so bad—why everyone feels so bad when they're ill. And the answer surprised me. I always thought it was because your immune system is active, so it's using a lot of your energy. That is part of it. Another part is that your brain and body are communicating across the blood-brain barrier to fight the infection, which is rare and energetically expensive.

But that doesn't explain everything, and according to more current research, it could also be what's called the Eyam Hypothesis: that we feel so gross, so we instinctively isolate from other people. We're too tired to deal with others, and so we don't infect them. Misanthropy for the good of the species. Of course, it can also backfire: one of the criticisms of the Eyam Hypothesis is that humans also instinctively care for each other. If my brother has a headache, I drive to the store for Advil.

Personally, I think it's a little bit of both: biological altruism. Either way, the majority live on. The first thought I had this morning when I woke up wasn't "I feel gross" it was "there's no way I'm going to work today." And while that might not be everyone's first thought, you don't even have to be a particularly altruistic person to not want to leave your home or your bed when you're sick. It's inborn.

And so when the human named Ismail comes down with a case of the interstellar common cold, his alien friend Dyos grows very concerned. Ismail is usually intensely social, almost off-puttingly so. Some crew members joke about how his quarters are for sleeping and prayer only; if he's home alone? You should be worried. But when Dyos demands an answer to the severity of Ismail's malady, the other humans just nod knowingly.

"Nah, he's okay, the medics already cleared him. It's not a severe infection."

"But there are so many...fluids. And his body has changed color."

There is a moment of confusion there until they remember that Dyos's species can see in the infrared color spectrum.

"Nah, that's just a low-grade fever. It should break in the next couple days."

"But he doesn’t want to play chess today," Dyos insists.

"Ohhhh," says human Claudia, finally understanding. "No, that's normal. Humans don't like being around other people when they're sick, it's supposed to be one of the major evolutionary advantages. Protect your community from your illness and the genes live on."

"So we're just going to leave him alone?" Dyos is troubled by this. He can go for weeks without speaking to another life form, but he has seen Ismail grow despondent when unable to participate in social gathering.

"Oh, no," human Claudia says, laughing. "We're going to employ one of the other most longstanding human evolutionary advantages."

There are many to choose from and Dyos settles on, "middle age?"

"Sort of," human Claudia opens up a small shipping container and holds up a brown paper bag tied with a colorful ribbon. It glows brightly in Dyos's vision, almost as brightly as human Claudia's smile. "His nanni's hot soup, express delivery."

[thedeviltohisangel]

All The Things I Did (10): Together We Can Get Somewhere

a/n: ayyyyeeee we are back on the common era timeline! heavy dose of morning after pillow talk. a really great scene between cass and harding that i love sm. a tiny bit of background on cass/mary. and some of the filthiest john/cass acts we have ever seen. but we are all so feral for possessive john that i am not sure anyone will really mind. we are slowly progressing towards him singing blue skies and i know so many of us (including myself) are waiting to see cass in that moment. it also means north africa and her brother and LONDON are working their way towards us as well...come chat with me! xoxo

warning: smut

The sun filtered in gently through the blinds of her window, Cass’ eyes fluttering open slowly. Most mornings she had gotten in the habit of Mary frantically knocking on her door or the incessant cawing of an alarm clock but today she woke feeling settled. As light as a feather. Warm and sated and full of a new vigor to face down whatever the day may have planned.

Her head was rested against the inside of the bicep of the man behind her, the gentle and rhythmic rise and fall of his chest showing no signs of disturbance. 

She closed her eyes briefly with a smile and raised her arm to fill the gaps between his fingers with hers. It felt so right to wake up in his arms and no matter how many times she did, she didn’t think she would ever get used to the exaltations in her chest and the bubbling, unbridled joy that ached to sneak up her throat and out her mouth as a declaration of love and comfort and commitment to always and forever.

“Good morning, baby,” he mumbled into her hair. John curled around her tighter and puckered his lips against the back of her head before settling back into the dreamy place between waking up and falling back asleep. 

“Morning, Johnny,” Cass replied as he moved his arm to wrap around her waist and pull her back flush to his chest.

“Go back to sleep. Staying here with you all day.” She giggled and rolled over so the tip of her nose nestled into the notch of his collarbone. 

“Say good morning again.” He cocked an eyebrow.

“Good morning, Spook.” The deepness of his voice in the morning reverberated through her with a pleasant hum and desire took over as her tongue flicked against the front of his throat. 

“Something about you in the morning is just infinitely more delicious,” she reasoned as she propped herself onto her elbow.

“I appreciate the sentiment, Cass, but I will appreciate it even more if you let me hold you a little while longer.” His chest felt empty without the weight of her head against it. His arms felt barren without her body to wrap around. In a short amount of time, Cass had become an intrinsic part of him. He needed her around to feel whole. Needed her touch to feel alive. Needed to express his love to her in order to feel anything at all.

“I get antsy first thing in the morning,” she rested her head back on the pillow and her hand found his cheek as his smoothed over the contours of her pert butt cheeks, “if I don’t get up right away, I never will.”

“I fail to see the issue with that.” John was known for falling in and out of sleep until he eventually decided he should get out of bed. The warmth of blankets and softness of a pillow were perks but not necessary. He had fallen asleep waiting in line for dinner at the mess hall. At the Thanksgiving dinner table with his family. During his college graduation. It was truly a gift in his mind.

“I’m positive my entire day is going to be filled with retelling the story of Berlin over and over again for hours at a time.” He tightened his arms around her. 

“Tell them to fuck off if it becomes too much.”

“Just like that?” she chuckled, kissing his lips and then his nose. “I’m not as prolific with my insolence as you are, Major Egan.”

“Prolific insolence? Spook, I need a few minutes in the morning for my brain to be able to process your brilliance.” The way her nipples were pressing against his chest was doing nothing to help either. 

“Well, we are going to have plenty of mornings like this for you to work on it.” Cass pushed his curls back from his forehead as he leaned down to kiss her. “In South Carolina, I could hear the birds chirping every morning and the sounds of the wind rustling the trees and my sister’s dog barking at the squirrels…” Her voice trailed off as she let herself think of the memory. She hadn’t left her home and her family on the best of terms and there were moments that she regretted it more than anything. 

“Sounds like a dream, Cass. I can’t wait to wake up with you in my arms just like that.” 

“Tell me about waking up in Wisconsin.” John sighed and settled back into the pillows, his hand rubbing up and down her back as she rested her head on his chest.

“My sisters were always up before me so they could use the bathroom mirror to get ready. I could always hear them bickering over their hair and their makeup and accuse each other of stealing the other’s dress. That was my alarm clock. And my ma’s morning cigarette and pot of coffee wafting up the stairs…” She smiled as he drifted into the memory. 

“Do you miss home?” she asked as her fingers found the wispy curls on his chest and traced over them gently. 

“I miss my family. I miss American food,” they both giggled, “but being with you feels a lot like home, Cass. I’m learning it doesn’t have to be a place. It can be a person.” She kissed his shoulder. 

“I like that.” His eyes widened with glee as he sat up and pressed her back into the mattress.

“Cassandra Ann Cooper, you like that? Like? That word means nothing to me.” The cheshire cat smile was wiped from her face as his finger found her sides and tickled her relentlessly. “I cannot believe you would reduce my declaration of you feeling like home to that word.” 

“You win! You win!” she wheezed as she coughed around the ferocity of her laughter. “I’m warmed by the sentiment. How’s that?”

“Much better.” He kissed her lips then her cheeks then her nose and everywhere else on her face he could reach. 

“Can you promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Promise me we’ll always be like this. That we’ll always laugh and have fun and wake up kissing and go to sleep kissing and you’ll never shut me out of that beautiful mind the same way I’ll try to never shut you out of mine.” The dichotomy of Sidney Landry and John Egan was not lost on her. The way Landry had made her close herself tighter and feel weaker and sullen. The way he had poked and prodded at her until her fire retreated into a corner and eventually went out. But John stoked the fire inside of her. He breathed oxygen into her soul and nurtured her passion and knew the right time to add fuel versus when to calm her down. He was her twin flame, dancing and flickering in the night and relaxing to a morning filled with warmed embers.

“I promise, my love, I promise.” Her legs settled around his waist as he kissed her like he might lose her, a wet trail making its way down her throat and between her breasts, past her belly button and to the aching apex between her legs. John was nipping at the inside of her thighs when there was a knock on the door. 

“Lieutenant Cooper? Colonel Harding is asking for you.”

“I need-” she sucked in a breath as his tongue teased at her entrance, “-five more minutes, Mary.”

“I’ll have her ready in two!”

----

The fabric of her uniform felt itchy against her skin after a morning of John’s skin against her own. True to his word, he had gotten her over the edge in damn near exactly two minutes. Had her thighs shaking and toes curling and eyes rolling to the back of her head. Cass remembers her sister or her friends sitting at afternoon tea together and blushing over their wedding nights and the appetite of men. They always talked about it being painful and never full of pleasure. They had learned how best to take care of themselves and on particularly hot afternoons, would exchange tips on what worked for them and how they hid their own releases from their husband in the middle of the night. If she was a betting woman, she would bet this was not something she would ever have to worry about. John seemed to derive more pleasure with his head between her legs than he did in any other situation. She smirked at how jealous her older sister was going to be when she told her.

“Lieutenant. You’re looking much better this morning,” Colonel Harding remarked as he motioned her into his office.

“Yes, sir. I slept very well.” He cocked an eyebrow. “Not because Berlin meant nothing, sir. Was just at the limits of my exhaustion.”

“Well, I’m certain the OSS equipped you with all necessary skills to complete your missions and still sleep at night. Have a seat.” She smoothed her skirt underneath her and sat in the chair across from him. When she went to cross her legs, she was reminded of the gift John had sent her on her way with. His warm cum was coating the inside of her panties It had been less than an hour since she’d left their love nest and her clit was throbbing with need. 

“Sir, I believe my after action report for Berlin was thorough and contained everything that the upper brass might ask-”

“I didn’t ask you here to talk about Berlin, Cassandra. I have a separate issue I require your assistance in remedying.” It wasn’t very often someone was able to surprise her. She was intrigued. 

“Of a personal or professional nature, Colonel?” 

“It’s a gray area. I need a plus one for a dinner with my British counterpart tonight.” He puffed around the cigar in his mouth as Cass rolled her eyes.

“That is what you have an executive officer for. A plethora of coffee cart girls and typists and-”

“None of those people you’ve listed are as beautiful as you. As smart as you. As talented as you at asking just the right questions to get the information I need to make sure him and I are on the same page.”

“The Brits are our allies, Colonel, they should be telling you exactly what you need to know whenever you ask for it.” He smiled at her wolfishly and she had to admit he was a handsome man. 

“Exactly, Lieutenant. You always know what to say.” She really wanted to argue with him and decline the invitation but the professional flattery was working wonders on her. She blamed John for increasing the pliancy of her mind from the moment she woke up that morning. 

“Fine. I suppose this dinner could be mutually beneficial. I’ll see what I can scrounge up in terms of proper clothing.” 

“No need. I had the tailor in town come up with something I’m sure will be to your liking.” Twice now he had gotten the upper hand on her. Cass was beginning to feel like she had underestimated the Colonel’s commitment to pursuing her. 

“If it doesn’t fit right, you’ll be hearing from me.” 

“My girl got the measurements from your girl. Shouldn’t be an issue.” 

“Miss Richards would never offer up my personal information unless you had hidden your true intentions and I will not have you or anyone else attempting to trick her like that.” Mary had become a sacred corner of solace in Cass’ life and she would protect her as furiously as she would anyone else she loved. They had been working together since the moment Cass had graduated OSS school and been assigned to Thorpe Abbotts. Mary had been responsible for handling all of her paperwork and supplying her with her uniform and everything else that most people took for granted behind the scenes but Cass had known was the difference between success and failure for her tenure across the pond. The secretary had not been used to an officer bestowing such praise and genuine gratitude upon her and the two of them had been inseparable ever since. No matter where she went, Cass planned on taking Mary with her. 

“Understood, Lieutenant. I will make sure it doesn’t happen again.” Harding’s eyes twinkled at the passion on display in front of him. How he ached to go back in time and take her for himself that night in London. The way she had shined in her satin gown and diamonds draped around her neck and had even laughed with eloquence at everything the Brit said to placate him into trusting her. The way his heart had damn near fluttered when she conversed with the Belgian representative in perfectly accented French. Against any rationality in his brain, he had almost gone to the small jewelers down the street to buy her a ring right then and there. In a different world, Cass would’ve said yes.

“Good. I’ll see you tonight, Colonel. I have a habit of being on time so please be prompt to pick me up.” 

“I wouldn't deign to keep you waiting, Cassandra.” Her tongue was physically clamped between her teeth to prevent the biting words from coming out of her mouth. She hated the use of her full name unless John was using it to try and capture the magnitude of his feelings for her. When the letters of Cass were just not enough and he needed more. It was also why Cass had yet to refer to him by his ever present nickname of Bucky. Something about John, the name his mother had given him, she felt showed that she loved exactly who he was at his core. Exactly who he was when he had been born and exactly who he would be if it all ended. She loved the innermost sanctum of him just as much as she did the boisterous, intelligent goof he always presented himself as. Every nook and cranny was hers to explore and love and cherish for all time.

“I’ll see myself out, sir.” Cass was turning on her heels and out the door before he could quip anything back. “Have a nice day, Eloise.” 

“You as well, Lieutenant!” Cass didn’t blame her for Harding’s surreptitious behavior towards Mary. She knew the two women were close friends and would always trust Mary’s gut as much as she trusted her own. 

Her steps took her out into the fresh air, her hands ripping the tie of her uniform over her head as she checked her watch to try and figure out where John might be. It was in between breakfast and lunch so he wouldn’t be at the mess hall. She knew he wasn’t scheduled to fly any practice missions today and he would have gotten his maintenance report from Lemmons first thing in the morning. Her best guess was mission briefings in headquarters or he was talking Mary’s ear off until Cass returned to her billet. She’d start with the offices.

Everyone who passed her seemed to sense she was not in the mood for conversation. Her hands were clenching in and out of fists at her side, her steps more than purposeful as she moved towards her intended target.

Not only did she need to warn John about the potential circus she had just agreed to participate in but he had also promised her a reward if she found him after and had held onto his cum like a good little Spook would know how to. Cass shuddered with anticipatory pleasure at the thought.

The office spaces were abuzz with navigators and typists and orderlies as she successfully worked her way through the crowd and politely greeted each and every person that she crossed paths with. Standing by the large canvas map and watching the way her OSS colleague was tracing the route of their next mission were a group of men but most importantly there was Major John Egan.

“Lieutenant Cooper! I was hoping you’d be available in time for the next portion of the briefing. You are much more familiar with Regensburg than I am,” Major Bowman announced as she joined the group, flushed and breathless and ready to cash in on whatever John had planned.

“Oh, that is coming up isn’t it?” she mused, not even sparing the Major a glance as her gaze was transfixed on the profile of her lover. “I’m sorry, sir, but might I borrow Major Egan for a moment?” It was going to be longer than a moment. Most certainly. But she didn’t want to give the officers any more of a reason to snicker than they were already getting. And she really wasn’t waiting for an answer, her finger lacing with his and gently tugging him in the direction of her office. 

“Sorry, Red,” John shrugged as he followed after her, “we all got our duties!” The door slammed shut behind them and Cass was closing the blinds to offer them as much privacy as they could find in the cramped building. 

“There’s something you must know,” she began as his lips were already attached to the side of her neck. Biting and sucking and repeating before soothing over the new marks with his tongue. “Colonel Harding invited me to dinner tonight.” That served to get his attention. 

“Did you tell him you had my cum between your legs?” John dropped to his knees and shrugged off his layers so he was left in his button up. Cass lifted her hips off the wall as he shimmied her pencil skirt up her legs. 

“I could feel it the whole time. Keeping me warm.” He hummed at the sight of the wet spot through her panty hose. 

“Such a good girl,” he whispered in a trance. With one hand on either side of the waistband, he pulled and ripped her tights clean down the middle. 

“John! These are good tights!” she gasped.

“Things that get in the way of me and you may get ripped.” He tossed the offensive fabric to the side and his mouth watered at the prize that rested between her thighs. Dainty, pink lace covered her cunt and the remnants of his morning wood was snuggled up against her. “We have to get some of this back in you, baby.” He gently kissed the sensitive skin below her belly button as his fingers curled around the band of her panties and slid them down her legs. Cass stepped out of them, John bringing them to his nose before they were tucked into the inside of his sheepskin. “We smell so good together, Spook. Could die a happy man with that scent wrapped around me.”

“Don’t talk like that,” she pleaded as one of her legs went over his shoulder. “Don’t talk about leaving me.” His fingers traced around her entrance, the tip of his pointer finger broaching her slowly as he pressed his cum back into her.

“Colonel Harding know that you took me with you to your meeting? Do you think he knows you make me come so hard that my cum leaks out of you?” Cass sighed as he began to gently tease her swollen pearl.

“He invited me to dinner with the Brits tonight.” John paused and his touch slipped from her wetness. “Wants me to be fully spooky. Bought me a dress to wear specifically.” His eyes dragged up her body and he rose to his full height, her leg dropping shakily to the ground but Cass made no move to readjust her skirt. 

“You’re going to wear a dress he bought you while on his arm at a fancy dinner?” She nodded. His hand wrapped around her throat and she whimpered. “You said I was yours. That also means you’re mine. And I’m going to fuck you so hard, Casssandra Ann Cooper, that you won’t know anything other than that fact tonight. Are we clear?”

“Yes, Major.” He had said the night before that he would have his time to take control and ravish her. She was delighted that the time had come. John kissed her in a way she knew would bruise her lips, spanking the bare skin of her bottom that was peeking out from under her skirt. 

“On your desk,” he ordered. Cass practically skipped over to her desk and wasn’t quick enough to carefully put away her belongings before one swipe of John’s wingspan sent it all crashing to the floor. 

“John! They’re going to hear-” 

“Part of the fucking point,” he muttered as he lifted her by the waist and placed her on top of her desk. He grabbed his sheepskin. “Lift your hips.” She did, the jacket going under them to provide him with better leverage. He gripped around her ankles and pulled her so her cunt was right at the edge of the desk. 

“Make it so I only know your name and the way you feel inside of me,” she whispered. Cass’ mouth salivated watching him undo the buckle of his belt, his cock springing proud once he freed it. One hand went to each of her knees and pushed down until she was pliant and ready. He pressed into her slowly as black spots practically danced across his vision at the way being inside of her felt. It completely forced all of his thoughts into one singular thread to please her and provide for her in any and all ways.

She was only able to take half of him before her walls were contracting around his shaft and he moaned her name with no qualms over the notion that someone could hear him. Let them know who he belonged to and who she belonged to. Let them know that no matter Harding’s efforts to woo her away, she would always come back home to John Egan. 

“I belong inside of you, Cass. You belong wrapped around me like this.” His hips were snapping as quickly as he could without hurting her, fingers curled around the side of the desk as she tried to anchor herself to reality. “No one else is ever going to have you like this. No one is allowed to ever dream about you like this.”

“Yes, John. I’m fucking yours. Fucking all yours forever.” John swatted at the hand that was reaching for her clit and replaced it with his own. She gasped and bared her throat and he ached to sink his teeth into the supple skin as she began to chant his name like it was holy. To her, it was.

“Come for me. Come all over my cock, baby.” Cass obliged his request with a curse and a cry before focusing on the way her lover’s features were pulling together tightly. 

“You’re so beautiful when you fall apart, John, so beautiful and all mine.” She used his tie to pull him down against her lips and she swallowed his moans as he quickly pulled himself from her and shot his cum over her inner thigh. He kissed her like an animal as his high worked its way down to a simmer and the racing of their hearts calmed to a normal pace. “I would’ve had Harding ask me out sooner if I’d known,” she breathed. Feeling like seeing how far she could push him, Cass reached a fingertip to the soft skin of her thigh and dragged it through the creamy substance before bringing it to her lips. 

“One day, when all this is over, I’ll give you all the same things he can. Fancy dresses and dinners and whatever else his salary can buy.” 

“John? You really think any of that means something to me? Matters in how I feel even a smidge?” Her palm rested along the curve of his jaw so her thumb could land on his lips. 

“I know it doesn’t. Doesn’t make my desire to give it to you any less,” he murmured before kissing the pad of her thumb. 

“I have plenty of dresses and been to plenty of dinners. But I’ve only got one John Egan and I’m rather fond of him. Would like to keep him around and in one piece for as long as possible.” 

“Well, Spook, the world could really only handle one John Egan, don’t you think?” She smiled widely with a giggle and he pulled her closer for a kiss to her lips then nose. “I love you. No one else. Just you.” Cass closed her eyes and nodded in understanding. 

“Whenever Red is done pretending he knows what he is doing, you can bother Mary and me while I get ready. Escort me to Harding’s like I’m sure you want to.” What he wanted was to be able to provide for her the way she deserved. Be the type of man worthy of being called her husband one day. Love alone didn’t buy a house or nursery furniture or a fence for the family dog. 

He had no way of knowing the family wealth she came from. That his worry about providing for her seemed beyond frivolity. That anything she could ever dream of wanting could be hers tomorrow with the Cooper family name behind her. She had meant exactly what she had said. The only thing money could not buy her was love and the only person she wanted it from was John Egan. Cass knew he had it in spades. 

“Once I see you in that dress, I might not let you leave.” His nose nuzzled against hers. 

“You will when I tell you that if you let me leave, you’ll get to take it off as quickly as you wish after.” He could rip it to shreds if he wanted to. John knew he wanted to. 

“I want to dance with you in it after. Get another taste of the life we are going to have once we go home together.”

“Home together. Makes my heart warm.” 

“Don’t tell Buck. I’ll never hear the end of it.” Cass mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key. “My Spooky Spook. So good at keeping secrets.” He kissed her to lock it in for good measure. Cass looked down at the cum drying on her legs and the mess of papers and paper clips and other office supplies on the floor. 

“We have quite the mess to clean up.” John hummed. 

“Good thing no one came knocking.”

[thatacotargirl]

A Court of Emberfall and Starlight (1)

A warm welcome to A Court of Emberfall and Starlight! This series will explore Eris and Rhys' Sister Reader. I am beyond excited at what this new story will bring, I hope you follow along for the journey!

The character of Rhys' Sister Reader has experienced trauma from her time Under the Mountain. This is not explored in this chapter, but will be explored in future chapters. Please take care to read the warnings for each chapter before you begin.

A special thank you to @the-wall-willow for requesting this pairing 💜

Warnings: descriptions of a panic attack, allusions to trauma

An Eris x Rhys' Sister Reader Fanfiction

Reader POV

With the number of targets we have on our backs and the war with Hybern looming, it's no surprise that my brother has me under lock and key in our home.

It doesn't mean I have to be happy about it.

After Rhys and I came back from Under the Mountain, it was like a switch had flipped in his brain. We had always been the 'dynamic duo', as Cassian called us, scaring our parents half to death with our stupidly daring and adventurous antics. But, after what we went through, it was as though Rhys saw just how close to death we had been, and couldn't stand the thought. Our nighttime flights and audacious excursions ceased immediately and everywhere I went, one of Azriel's shadows followed closely behind. As the hostility between Courts increased, so did my protections, until now - where I am effectively under house arrest for the foreseeable future.

I love my brother and I know he worries, but if I have to spend another day trapped in these walls, I think I might scream.

-

"Y/N, ARE YOU READY YET?"

I'm pretty sure the entire population of Velaris just heard Cassian ask if I am ready. Looking in the mirror, I smooth down my black satin skirt and adjust the silver, cropped tank top. With a brief nod to myself, I head out of my bedroom and down to the living room, where Cassian is waiting to fly me to the River House.

I am living at the House of Wind at the minute, sharing a home with Cassian and Azriel. Rhys wanted me to stay at the River House with him and Feyre, but I argued that I needed my own space - largely so I didn't have to hear them every time I left the room. I mean, really, on the dining table? I eat breakfast there!

Rhys agreed to me moving into the House of Wind as long as I agreed to not leave without Cassian or Azriel accompanying me. Like I'd be able to otherwise... I am quite happy to walk down the 10,000 steps to the street, but walk back up 10,000 steps? Not a chance. I also have to do weekly check-ins with Rhys to make sure I am ok, especially after what happened Under the Mountain. I still haven't spoken about it with anyone, not even Rhys, and he treats me like a fragile snow globe as a result - worried that he'll say the wrong thing and I'll crash and burn.

Today, however, is a little different. Today we are all heading to the River House to discuss the plan for tomorrow's High Lord meeting. All the High Lords will be visiting the Night Court to talk battle preparations ahead of the impending Hybern threat. Now that the High Lords know about Velaris, and at Helion and Tarquin's insistence that they see it, Rhys offered to host as an olive-branch gesture to ensure their alliance should war break out.

"Ready".

You smile at Cassian as you approach and let him tuck his arms under your back and knees, before taking to the skies. You roll 180 degrees in his arms once you're flight-born so he is holding you with both hands under your stomach and your body facing down towards Velaris. It's one of your favourite ways to fly, letting your arms swing out in front of you like you have wings of your own. You can feel Cassian's chest shake with a chuckle as you hold your arms out like a bird, enjoying the way the wind feels around your face. You didn't inherit Rhys' ability to grow wings. In fact, you didn't seem to inherit Rhys' anything. Despite being almost a century old and technical heir to the Night Court, until Rhys and Feyre have their first child, you hadn't yet displayed a single power of your own.

Cassian lands gentle on the balcony of the River House and you give his shoulder a gentle pat in thanks before walking through to find your brother.

"RHYYYYYYSSAAAANNNNNNDDDDD"

"Cauldron, y/n, I'm right here".

You grin as Rhys rounds his office door and engulfs you in a bear hug.

"I've missed you".

"Yeah yeah, don't pull the soppy big brother bullshit on me now". But you hug him just that bit tighter.

"Thank you for coming, we could use your input for the meeting tomorrow".

"My input? Rhys, I'm flattered, but I'm as useful as a chocolate teapot for anything to do with you High Lords".

Rhys chuckles before ruffling your hair and pulling you into his office.

"You've always had a way with words, and we need to appease all the High Lords to make sure we're allied should Hybern strike. It's going to be hard enough with Tamlin attending, let alone Beron".

"Tamlin and Beron are coming?"

You shudder in mock horror, much to Rhys' amusement.

"Yes, both of them. And whilst I might be the one and only Night Court High Lord, no one holds a candle to you when it comes to pulling on heartstrings and having them wrapped around your finger".

He's not wrong. From the moment you were born, you had Rhys wrapped around your little finger. He was your built in best friend and protector. Once Cassian and Azriel joined the picture, you suddenly have 3 best friends and 3 protectors, all of whom would kill for you. Or run out to buy you ice cream at 2 in the morning. Or really anything else you asked them for.

"Fine, I'll help".

"That's my girl. Will you stay here tonight? It would be nice to have you stay for dinner".

"I'd like that. What time will dinner be?"

"7pm - and it'll just be you, me, and Feyre. Cassian has gone to join Az in Windhaven and they won't be back until tomorrow morning now; and Feyre should be home from the studio at around 6ish".

You nod in response and turn to leave, letting Rhys carry on with whatever he was working on at his desk. Looking at the clock as you leave his office, you see that it's only 3pm. A mischievous smile crosses your face as you turn back, checking that Rhys has his back to you, before turning left out of his office towards the front door. Opening it as quietly as you can, you take one last look behind you, before making a break for it.

-

Velaris at 3pm in the early autumn is one of the most special times. There is a slight chill in the air, but the sun still warms you enough to be comfortable. The trees are turning, their red, orange and yellow colours filling your sight as far as you can see. Autumn might just be one of your favourite times of the year, besides Starfall and the Winter Solstice, naturally.

You want to get your brother and Feyre a gift, or maybe dessert for tonight, but you don't want them to know that you snuck out of the House alone against their instructions. Sighing, you decide that you might as well make the most of it, and enjoy a cup of coffee and a slice of cake at your favourite bakery on the Rainbow. You make your way there, walking in a happy daze, watching the rest of Velaris' citizens bustling about with their day. It makes you smile, seeing how happy everyone looks. But with each smiling face, you're reminded of what you had to do to guarantee it. What you had to sacrifice for it. You feel your steps start to falter and you slow down, suddenly feeling an anxiety you hadn't realised was brewing in your chest at the thought of entering the bakery and speaking with the staff. You feel your chest tighten and your breathing become ragged.

Not again.

Looking around, you can't find anywhere private to hide. Although he will be furious, you attempt to call to Rhys, but you're met with a solid, obsidian wall - no doubt in concentration as he prepares for tomorrow's meeting.

You can sense your legs beginning to heat and a jelly-like feeling starts to pass over them. You need to find somewhere to sit, or you will go down in the middle of the street.

Approaching the edge of the Sidra, you drop to the railing, trying to gulp in air but feeling like your lungs are suffocating. You can't get control of your breaths, and your heart is speeding at rapid pace, making everything around you fade in and out of focus. Tears stream down your face and everything hurts.

"Hey, you're safe, you're safe".

A hand gently touches your shoulder, deepening the pressure there once they see you don't flinch away. Grounding you.

"Tell me 5 things you can see".

"The Sidra, the Rainbow, the Book Store, the clouds, my hands".

"Good, now 4 things you can feel".

"The grass, the railing, the wind, the ground, my skirt"

"3 things you can hear".

"The water, the people, you".

"2 things you can smell".

"Coffee and cinnamon".

"1 thing you can taste".

"The pastry I had for breakfast".

You feel the stranger laugh next to you.

"What pastry?"

"It was a custard pastry".

"Was it nice?"

You chuckle. "Yes, it was".

"How are you feeling?"

You check in with yourself, and are surprised to notice that the panic attack has stopped. Your heart is still definitely beating faster than it should be, but you don't feel the impending sense of doom, and your breathing has slowly returned back to normal.

"Better, thank you. How did you do that?"

"My brother has panic attacks sometimes, I use that to help him too".

You look up to lock eyes with the stranger, and kneeling in front of you is the most handsome male you have ever seen. You see a shine flare across his eyes as he studies your face. The male clearly isn't from here. If his red hair wasn't a giveaway, his clothes would have been. Exquisitely embroidered and tailored to fit his body to perfection, it features detailed patterns of flames and red leaves.

The Muse of Autumn. You make a note to share the image with Feyre and ask her to paint him.

"Thank you".

"You're most welcome".

The stranger helps you to your feet, making sure to check you are steady before he lets go of your arms.

"Would you like me to walk you home?".

You consider the offer, but Rhys is already going to be angry if he realises that you left the house by yourself, let alone if your return with a random male in tow.

"I'll be ok, thank you though".

"My pleasure ...?"

"Y/n".

"My pleasure, y/n".

The stranger bows gently to you before walking away towards the coffee shop. As you start to make your way back to the house, bracing yourself for Rhys' fury, you realise you never asked the stranger for his name in return.

[anonymous-existences]

Chapter 18 : Granted Wishes

[𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒔 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝑷𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒕𝒔.]

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[𝕬𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖑 𝕻𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖊, 𝕲𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖂𝖎𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖘]

Danny was watching the skies, The stars seemed to twinkle brighter than usual, each sparkling in different assortments of colors and sizes, adorning the complexities of the vast sky lines that reflect to the earth, the clouds non existent and the birds quiet and in peace.

The breeze felt warm and not as suffocating than Danny had thought, it's as though the scenery changes with his presence. Gorham's skies were oddly clear that even Tim was shocked and Damian felt weird about it. Damian accompanied Danny on the roof as Damian moved his pencil swiftly yet smoothly at the same time. Danny flutters his eyes close, the constellations that lightens his cheeks that also strangely reflect the lights of the open night sky.

"The Constellations Follow me today..." Danny mutters as he was taking a deep breathe. "It is .. indeed beautiful... Much More beautiful than any others I have seen." Damian admits somewhat shyly. For the first time it's as though the spirits left behind in Gotham has decided to ascend and forgive their selves to finally reach their final state of rebirth. "Freedom has never tasted sweeter...." Danny chuckled and looked at Damian who was infact drawing Danny and the Oddly Clear Night Sky.

The wind hums peacefully grazing Damian's skin which made him slightly shudder at the sudden cold that hit his skin. "Today feels more of a miracle then it already is." Damian tried to joke and successfully did so as Danny chuckled and sat beside him with a soft ethereal like smile. "Look! Shooting Stars!" Danny yelled out happily which made Damian immediately look up in fascination.

Most of Gotham was out and about that night and witnessing this some sort of Astral Miracle. "Quick! Make a wish!" Danny giggled and closed his eyes and clasped his hand as if to make a prayer. Damian hesitantly did the same. He didn't know what to wish for, rather it felt childish to believe that mere meteors could grant wishes but he wishes that his family stays together side by side and to never Seperate again... Yeah. That's a good wish... He flutters his eyes open once again to see Danny slightly tearing up before he too opens his eyes.

Danny smiles, "Are you... Okay Danny?" Damian asks the younger boy and Danny nods slightly, "I just wish that my sister would be here... I miss ... I miss her so much." Danny mutters. Damian's gaze softened and pulled Danny closer to his side.

Damian hesitantly wrapped his arms around the younger boy to somehow? Maybe? Possibly comfort this Soon to be younger brother of his.

"It's okay... Danny .. it's okay." Damian says, mimicking what He thinks Alfred would do to comfort a child that's in need of consolation. "You'll be alright... I promise." Damian says with genuine care tracing his tone. It made Danny's core buzz in the warmth of family.

It feels like family.

It is Family.

[𝙳𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎 𝙿𝙾𝚅]

"Dante should we be concerned...?" Jason asks his lover hesitantly whilst staring at the star decorated clear skies. Dante looks up and thinks for a moment before chuckling in amusement.

Jason looks at him Bemused but surely if he's laughing it's not a bad thing. "it's Danny's thing. Space and Protection and Stuff. Basically this means Gotham has become his new haunt or well place of home. And skies shift to his emotions.. if it's dark and cloudy he is depressed type of depictions." Dante smiles at Jason and kisses the Man's forehead, "It's nothing to be worried about Babe." Dante reassures hire beloved and Jason just sighed in relief.

"But this feels like a god thing type of shtick you know?" Jason muttered following his boyfriend inside their apartment and Dante looks at him with the look of understanding. "That's cuz it is hun. He's a baby god." Dante chuckled and laughed as he left Jason outside the door stunned and shocked at the sudden Lore Drop.

Baby god? Dear Fuck? Damn? Jason doesn't know how to react to this and just followed Dante inside. "and that would make you...?" Jason asks again hopefully for some more clearance, "His Alternate Version Turned Redemption Made Ghost King Proxy." Dante casually says and hums peacefully, Jason just even more baffled, "Alternative Self Like Alternate Universes?" Jason sputters and slowly sits down on the couch beside Dante, "Yep! I used to be evil actually. Then I fought Danny when he was 12? I think— which would be 2 years from now— but he... I guess it's just that when he cried for Jazz All so suddenly Infront of me I just— something in me shattered. And that's how we are here now." Dante kisses Jason's Forehead, hopefully that gave him more closure. (It did not but Jason loves Dante too much to care right now.)

"Clockwork, yk, the one my Father is Uh— dating and stuff— probably gonna marry soon I guess is the one who helped me adjust and take therapy sessions, yada yada, change for the better." Dante smirked and laughed as Jason rested his head on Dante's Chest feeling Dante's Core Purr softly as Dante explained all the details for Jason to understand. Dante was pleased that Jason atleast took it well and not like how he'd imagine would be disgust and stuff— Ancients did he feel so much anxiety before finally being able to slowly explain to Jason what happened.

"And as you know, there's Uh, Valerie, she's 14 now actually, she became a vigilante when she was like 12— which is not really good but that's super too young. I have no idea why when we were kids we wanted to save people so much. But then again it was a place that was unsafe for us so we tried to be both there for each other and save everyone we could when we had to." Dante says softly as he pulled Jason closer to him craving more of Jason's Body Warmth.

"Vlad in my timeline was like super super evil, here he was more sympathetic and just very immersed in his Obsessions at the time but now he's. He's gotten better as well especially since He and Clockwork became each other's Second Obsessions. It's an odd feeling to have your obsessions change really. Mine used to be pure violence but before the Violence it was also Protection and Family. Family stuck to me and Now it's both Violence Sort of, Maybe the Seeking of Justice or Revenge— and Family." Dante was sputtering explanations at this point, his tone occasionally trembling in fear as to how Jason might react but he trusts Jason to not betray him like that.

"Oh! Look. Gotham is trending right now because of the sudden starry skies— did you just post a poetic paragraph related to the stars of Gotham right now?" Dante laughed and Jason just smiled at him and nodded.

"For the first time the skies arranged itself a scenic spectacle,

Stars and Constellations Adorning it's Vast Astral Plane,

The Skies Free from it's Ghastly Covered Shackles,

And the Connection of Freedom and Peace Felt as tho it was no longer Strained."

Dante just smiled at the poem Jason made, soon he realized Jason has fallen asleep in his lap, Slowly he carried Jason to their bed and gently places him down and laid beside him tucking themselves both under the blanket. Dante smiles and Carreses Jason's Cheek gently... " I love you so much my Sun..." Dante muttered his gaze softer than the bed itself, he places a gentle kiss on Jason's Forehead before pulling him closer and closing his eyes to finally falling asleep with peace settling in his heart.

[𝐀丂𝐓я𝐚ᒪ Ƥᒪ𝐚𝐍𝑒, 𝕃𝐚𝐍𝓭 Øⓕ ⓡ𝑒๒Ɨя𝐓𝓱]

"Are you Happy Clockwork?" She Says, her ginger hair nearly mimicking fire and her eyes that felt as threatening as the aquatic depths. Jasmine.

"Ofcourse I am, Your doing and freeing of most of the vengeful unresting souls of Gotham has proven to be helpful in Dante's future Works and Danny's too as well. It also lessens more issues." Clockwork merely smiled and pressed his fingers on his lips as he does so. "It was quite a beautiful... Spectacle. Like the Once in a Lifetime Miracle. Your Show also Stopped Crime in the city for a day for the first time! It's a very beautiful and Bountiful achievement that you have succeeded." Clockwork subtly covers his smug and Cheeky smile from Jasmine.

"I want to be by my brother's side again, not by being Me, not by being jazz.... I want to protect him but I also want him to move on from me. Make me an animal." Jasmine glances at Clockwork, Stars Adorning her Skin and Planets circling around her. Clockwork nodded and slightly bowed to the ascended soul of the once much mortal Jasmine.

"I can make you a pet, or a familiar... Perhaps an animal that fits Danny... Hmm.. you may choose what animal ofcourse. One with wings." Clockwork suggests and Jasmine faces the stars once again to think briefly before making a final decision.

"Make me a Hawk, so that I can be both majestic yet threatening enough that Danny Will love me and that other people who dares hurt him will feel intimidated by my presence." Jasmine says slowly turning her body to face Clockwork fully, Her Red Hair Touching and Dragging on the non-existent grounds as she does so.

Clockwork nods approvingly, "Your Wish is my Command Astral Goddess. After all you ARE the first to willingly give up their first stages of godhood to protect a baby god." Clockwork was amused, Perhaps even curious as to what Goes on in Jasmine's Mind. "I will come back eventually as soon as the lifespan of my Rebirth ends and I can be with Danny as a goddess that has fully ascended enough that I can finally show myself to him...." She says her voice softening significantly at the mention of her baby brother.

Her Aquatic eyes reflected the sea of itself but in them is a hint of sorrow and yearning. Clockwork led The Once Mortal New Goddess down a path of Grass and they trodded through life's lair.

Soon as they walked down the path of flowers and feathers, Jasmine slowly earned her wings, growing out of her back painlessly and smoothly growing out and spreading neatly, Placing itself side by side with ease. Her hair slowly fading into her own feathers and her size shrinking.

She flapped her wings and slowly placed her talons on Clockwork's Shoulder. She shook her new form slowly settling in on the new mechanics of her body.

"I am ready." She chirps and Clockwork nods letting her fly away and her slowly rising from the clouds and soaring through The Sky heading to Gotham with Haste.

"This time... I will protect them." She thinks to herself as she whistles and Slowly Dive Bombing to Gotham, She truly is ready.

She is very ready to Protect her family and to meet them again and be in their warm embrace.

[𝑹𝒆𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉 𝑾𝒂𝒔 𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑨𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝑨𝒍𝒔𝒐 𝒊𝒔 𝑯𝒆𝒓 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈]

[unholly-reader]

It should have been me - Daemon Targaryen x f!OC!

Hello lovely people!

Today we're going for a somber vibe, I had this idea walking around for my ff, but I just wanted to share this with you all. To all you sensitive creatures - I highly recommend a tissue nearby.

Enjoy!

[again - English is NOT my first language!]

Warnings: soooo much crying, little angst, little fluff, just Daemon being an emotional beast with anger issues.

********************************************

For weeks upon end Alanna awaited word from her lord husband, yet none ever came. The day he left for Harrenhal was the last time they spoke before she was left with their children to keep her company. This predicament wouldn’t have been as cruel had it not been for the tragedy that befell Alanna when she suspected it the least. Alyssa’s death hit her mother in more ways than anybody could anticipate. As hard as she tried to keep a brave face for her children, especially for Viserys as he had lost his other half when Alyssa was murdered, when night fell on Dragonstone and her darling boys fell asleep, all she did was cry. Fighting with the silent sobs crushing her chest like a mallet, Alanna Targaryen cried her heart out for her only sweet daughter until there were no more tears to cry. Only then she would stop weeping and stare at the wall as if she was someplace far away from the island. Her efforts to keep her children away from her own sorrows failed miserably the day Viserys walked in on her screaming on the floor as she held desperately onto the bloodied cloth that used to be Alyssa's favourite dress. Although he was a boy barely two and ten, he understood much more than his parents gave him credit for. He knew his twin’s death was the Usurper’s vengeance. He also knew that dragons do not forgive spilling the blood of their own kin. Despite his young age, Viserys bore his father pride and spirit like a shield for everyone to see. Many people would say he was a young prince Daemon reincarnated. When he overcame his own grief, which is too much to say for a boy of his years, he swore to avenge Alyssa’s death when the time came. That was the only difference between him and his father. Daemon never understood the importance of the right time. Viserys took after his mother, weighing when it was right to act and when inaction was the best course. 

Upon seeing his mother weeping her heart out, kneeling on the floor he ran towards her standing next to her and bending just enough so he could hug her shaking body. He felt his own tears falling down his pale cheeks but he couldn't care less. She needed the comfort just as much as he and his brother’s did. When Alanna realised it was her youngest son holding her, she tried to compose herself, clumsily wiping her tears away but when she looked up and saw Viserys’s face, she let it all go. She brought him closer into her embrace, clawing at his body like an anchor keeping her afloat. Viserys hugged her in return, snuggling his face into her golden hair just like he used to when he was younger. 

– I promise you, Mama. We will avenge Alyssa, I swear this to you. 

– Shh, my sweet prince. Just hold me, my sweet boy. Just stay here. 

Viserys listened to his mother’s pleas and stayed for as long as she held onto him. By the time the night came and the moon lit up the skies, Alanna was fast asleep in her bed with her youngest by her side. It was only when Rhaenys came by that Viserys woke up and slid out of his mother’s bed, careful not to disturb her sleep. He walked through the chambers, reaching the Princess by the entrance. He looked up at his aunt, eyes still red and puffy from the tears he shared with his mother that day. 

– The crying exhausted her. She needs the rest. 

Rhaenys felt her heart shatter for the young prince so bravely caring for his Mama. 

– As do you, my darling boy – she replied, wrapping her arm around his shoulder and gently bringing him into her embrace – Let us get you in your bed, dear. 

As much as he wanted to stay and guard his mother in her sleep, Visersy felt the exhaustion overtake his body. He was tired and grieving and had no strength left. The moment he hugged Rhaenys side, he felt himself fall into slumber. Having raised children of her own, the Princess quickly picked him up and he instinctively wrapped his ambler arms around her form. Quickly she left her half-sister’s quarters and moved towards the prince’s bedchambers. 

***

When Alanna stirred awake and felt the empty space beside her, she panicked. Fearing the worst she shot out of bed, her hair flowing down her back in messy waves and she sprinted out of her chambers. It was still dark outside, although a mist of sunlight was creeping from the horizon, bringing morning with its reddish haze colouring the eastern skies. Barely thinking about putting her shoes on she ran barefoot, frantically calling out her son’s name. Following her instincts she ran towards Baelon’s chamber where all her boys now resided and prayed she would see all of her four princes abed. It was nerve wracking and heart shattering, fearing for her children’s life every step of the way for now she knew the unbearable pain of losing one so cruelly. Her steps were light, yet heavy at the same time. Each one brought her closer either to her hope or her demise. She burst through the door like the lighting piercing the night and only then did she feel her heart slow down. All four of her sons were comfortably settled in Baelon’s bed, tightly pressed against one another and all four in deep slumber. Feeling her legs giving in Alanna leaned on the door frame, watching from afar as her boys slept soundly and more importantly, safely. Regaining her breath she retired from her eldest son’s quarters, closing the door behind her only to lean back on the wooden door and slide down to the floor. Tears once again stained her porcelain like face as she weeped silently, eyes wide open staring into nothing. Every time she thought she had cried all the tears her eyes held, the violet-like irises found another source of salty streams. It was a never ending nightmare where whenever she would open her eyes, she would be reminded of the life that could not be retrieved. 

Time seemed to escape her as she sat unmoving, almost resembling a marble statue. In what seemed like minutes the sun began to rise by the horizon, slowly creeping inside the castle walls. Alanna was almost cathartic when suddenly she heard a loud screech sounding from afar. At first she thought a mere ringing in her ear, irrelevant to what was happening in reality but when the sound roared the second time, she could not dismiss it. She knew that screeching all too well and if she was correct, her prayers had finally been answered. With little caution she stood up and let her feet guide her towards the tunnels leading to dragon caves hidden beneath the surface of Dragonstone. She hoped it was not her cruel imagination painting her a fool once again. Her ruby skirts flow behind her, sweeping the stone floors of the castle as she descended onto lower levels of the fortress. Hair in complete disarray and eyes puffy and red but all that mattered was running to meet him. 

All the guards she passed by bowed before her but she paid them no mind as she finally reached her destination the same moment a ruby red beast crawled inside the cave with her beloved black knight in its saddle. Caraxes gracefully flew towards the pier where Alanna stood, looking up in desperation and then landed smoothly. His rider took no time to slide down his mount’s back and onto its wing, running straight into Alanna’s open arms with a heart wrenching sob. The Rogue Prince held his Princess close to his chest, clawing at her velvet clad back with all his might. Having only heard about the tragedy that befell his family the previous day he flew relentlessly to meet his beloved wife. Now that she was in his arms all he could think about was how she had to watch his daughter’s blood pool at her feet and he was not there to protect his little girl. 

– Tell me it was a horrible nightmare. 

Daemon’s voice sounded so unlike him. So fragile and cautious, almost as if he was a glass figurine ready to crumble in the matter of seconds. Alanna could not mutter a single word so she just shook her head against Daemon’s shoulder, feeling her tears well up once again in the corners of her eyes. At her response he only weeped louder, burying his face into her golden hair. Almost simultaneously their knees buckled under the weight of their shared grief and they collapsed to the stone floors, holding one another as if their very lives depended on it. It was too painful for the both of them to lean back and see the rattling pain on their faces but eventually Daemon broke. He looked at his wife and his heart shattered a thousand times over seeing her perfect violet-blue eyes red and puffy, filled with tears that never seems to stop. All at once he noticed all the little details on her face. The little wrinkles slowly appeared in the corners of her eyes. The pink shade of her pretty lips. He also noticed the small cut on her forehead, now almost completely healed, but still visible to the naked eye. Suddenly his grief became irrelevant when his mind was overtaken by fuming rage. As gently as he could, Daemon reached his palm towards Alanna’s forehead, delicately brushing his fingers over the healed cut. 

– Did he do it?

Alanna just nodded, taking hold of his wrist in her smaller hand. Hre face was still pain ridden as she stared into his lilac eyes with fear shaking like a lonely willow. 

– He slit her throat, Daemon – she spoke quietly, her voice crumbling seemingly with each word – He took my baby and he took her life. I have her blood on my hands. I have Alyssa’s blood on my hands. I don't…

She began rumbling and talking frantically like a wheel that just keeps spinning, spiralling into her own madness. Daemon watched with horror as his beautiful wife tormented herself, relieving the horrifying events of the day they lost their daughter. Unable to stop the words spilling from her mouth, he did the only thing that came to his mind. Abruptly he grabbed both her cheeks and pressed a quick yet genuine kiss to her chapped lips. She still tasted like heaven but her tears covering her mouth made it bitter sweet. Gently Daemon leaned his forehead on hers, slowly calming her rattled presence. 

– Shhh, my light. You do not blame yourself. Do you understand me? You did everything you could. You fought as best you could. He could have killed you too. I could have lost you too. Gods, I cannot begin to imagine what I would do if he took you from me. I swear to the Gods, if he wasn’t dead already I would have taken his hands, his cock, his head for ever laying his hands on you and Alyssa. 

Alanna felt her heart flutter, trying to calm down, listening to Daemon’s voice but the demons hunting her never stopped. When she closed her eyes, she saw her little girl’s body drowning in blood. The vision haunted her every living second she breathed the air her daughter no longer could. 

– It should have been me, Daemon. He should have killed me, not my little girl. I should have…

– Don’t you dare! I forbid you – growled Daemon, grabbing her face sternly, looking into her tears stained eyes – Don’t even think about it. 

The Princess stared into her husband’s lilac orbs in silence. She could see all the feelings throwing him around like a puppet, the hurricane of emotions passing through his mind. She stilled in place, keeping her hands clasped on his wrists like a lifeline. He was mad and frustrated and above all furious, but hearing her say those things brought him over the edge. His voice barely above whisper when he spoke to her, his gaze piercing through her grief. 

– I will have Aegon’s head. I will cut off his worthless corpse right after I rip his heart out of his chest and I will make Alicent watch her son die in agony. Our daughter will be avenged but I cannot bear to listen to you saying such foul things. Don’t ever say you should have…

His words faltered much like his body still kneeling on the stone floors of the cavern. His strength shook in its very core as he caressed his wife’s cheeks almost too gently like she was a porcelain doll. His silence was so loud. No words were said and yet it was as if he was shouting at the top of his lungs. Like he was trying to find the words but faltered every time. Swallowing hard, he kissed Alanna’s lips swiftly, quickly looking back into her sparkly eyes. The eyes that became his everlasting beacon of hope. 

– I will forever mourn our daughter until the world crumbles in its foundation and all light is swallowed by the darkest depths of this realm. I could never forget the emptiness left in my heart that was once filled with her joy, her laughter, her life, but you cannot say you wish you took her place. I live for you, Alanna. I live because of you. My life has begun the day you gave me your love. If you die, I die too. There is no life for me where you’re not by my side. I don’t care about anything else. If need be, I will let this world burn for you so long you stay with me. My wife. My life. My light. My love.

[legitalicat]

Out of Time

Chapter 7 - "Letters of Life and Love"

AN: Sorry for the long wait, lots of stuff going on in the personal. Also I may update the picture now that we have a new hairstyle for Jace lolol

If you love this header go check out zaldritzosrose for more amazing work! She is tagged on the series masterlist and on my welcome post!

Find the series masterlist here!

Summary: Tales of the past can help shape the future.

TW: blatant talks of past self harm, canon typical incest, Jace being tooth rotteningly sweet, talks of basically everyone being in love with everyone

Relationships: Jacaerys Velaryon x Twin!Reader, talks of just about every other ship imaginable in this story

Word Count: 3.8k

Aemond did not take it any further as we flew on Vhaela. He told me it was so that I could focus on flying, since it had been so long. Whether that was the truth, I wasn’t sure but I wasn’t entirely convinced. Yet, I didn’t particularly care.

Soaring through the skies on Vhaela’s back was perfect. The chill in the air stung against the skin of my face. The supple leather of the saddle she wore rubbed against my inner thighs. We passed birds who moved out of the way in perfect time with our approach. Today was the day I was meant to take to the skies.

I truly believed that the gods, whether they be the old or the new, made certain moments perfect. There had just been too many moments in my life that were so good there were no other explanations. This flight on Vhaela, the first time I flew on her, the first time I slept with Aemond, and the night I lost my maidenhead to Jace. How could I expect that much good to come from anything but divine intervention?

Aemond accompanied me the rest of the week so that I may fly, though he did choose to fly on Vhagar. We never went far, never past Felwood to the south or Duskendale to the north. Though in my bones I longed for more. I don’t imagine I would ever fly enough to be satisfied. In the sky I was free. Free from obligation and duty, free from the pains of my soul.

Free from the wretchedness that is Mother preparing me for this feast.

It felt as though I should’ve never agreed to it to begin with. I didn’t want every Lord in the seven kingdoms ogling me once again. Especially if word got out that my betrothal to Jace was no longer official. Men would see me as an opportunity to get close to the throne, maybe even have their children sit it one day. The thought disgusted me.

“Daemon, Rhaena, and Baela have returned from Driftmark. Your sisters are very anxious to see you,” Mother told me as she braided my hair. We were in her chambers, the door being propped open once we were dressed to allow a breeze. Today was warmer than usual.

I watched her reflection in the mirror as she moved. Sometimes I wondered if she thought of me as a doll. That is not to say anything against her parenting or the care she has given me, but it does cross my mind. She took every opportunity to dress me and fix my hair until I was perfect. Or as perfect as I could be.

“Step sisters,” I corrected her.

Rhaena and Baela may view my brothers as theirs but they made sure that I understood I was not their sister. Mother and Daemon always assumed part of it was Baela having a crush on Jace and Rhaena’s loyalty to her twin. I tried to offer to her that she could marry him and become Queen one day, begging with her that I would give anything to be their sister. But it was never about Jace.

Rhaena had been too kind and timid to say it to my face but Baela never had any problems with such. It was all about Vhagar and the role I played in Aemond claiming her. They claimed I showed no loyalty. That we were cousins and I should’ve convinced Aemond to allow Rhaena the chance to claim her first. They never listened to me when I told them he would’ve done it whether I was there or not. And they also never took into account I did not know them at that point. Yes, we were cousins, but they grew up far from King’s Landing. I grew up with Aemond at my side. Was he not owed my loyalty more?

“You are all women grown now,” she told me. “Surely you can move past this.”

“Mother I love the way you love your children, Baela and Rhaena included, but you need to realize a lot of us are far more capable than you think,” I said so firmly her hands took pause. “They are not the victims in anything, not more than I or Aemond. Yes, Rhaena did not have a dragon as a child but neither did Aemond until he claim Vhagar, and I waited longer. Yes, Baela and Rhaena lost their mother as children, but the four of us lost both men who could count as our father and I wasn’t even allowed to mourn. Rhaena and Baela started the fight that night on Driftmark because of their entitlement and Aemond lost his eye. The three of us did not get along during our girlhoods but not because of anything that I could help.”

“Darling,” she whispered. Her hands continued their motions, finishing the intricate braid.

“I offered Baela to take my place, did she ever tell you that? I thought if it was about Jace and her then I could deal with not marrying him so I could have sisters. It was never about that, it was about me telling the truth of Aemond losing his eye,” I told her. Tears started stinging my eyes as I spoke about things I swore I would never admit bothered me.

My entire life I always felt I had to be perfect. The perfect princess who would be the perfect queen. This kept me from having many emotional outbursts. The closest I ever got to crying in front of others was when tears forced themselves into existence as they did now. My pain was my own and I did not need others to experience it.

Jace always called it unhealthy. He said one day I would explode with the years of feelings I kept inside. I had always thought he was full of shit until I began to realize that physically harming myself made the pain in my chest ease. When I made a fist so tightly that my fingernails became so deeply embedded in my palms I started to draw blood, I was concerned at first. Until I realized I felt better. I referred to it as my pressure relief.

It became a growing concern. Jace caught me taking a knife to my thigh once when he had come to question why I was avoiding him. He was appalled at what I was doing. I tried to explain it was nothing bad, that I was merely caring for myself. He did not see it that way. He held me that night late into the night.

That was the night I gave him my maidenhead. I wasn’t sure you could fix someone by loving them hard enough. But gods, that night he tried. Looking back, it was awkward and clumsy, neither of us really knowing what to do. We were fifteen, nowhere near marriage, and Jace had always said I would be his first, so neither of us had any experience or had been taught anything. Though, I would not change anything about it. Thinking about it made me miss him more than I had the entirety of these last few weeks.

“You always stand up for every other child yet you do not stand up for the ones who need it most. I do not know if it is because you think I am strong enough to handle it, but I need you to come to my defense too. Not allow Jace to punish me in the ways he always does whenever I have displeased him. Not assume I can handle Baela and Rhaena isolating me for doing what was right,” I whispered, blinking rapidly to get the tears to go away. “Does Daemon know how close Alicent and you are?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

Her jaw clenched for a split second. If I were not looking for any sign that I may be right, I would miss it. With that simple little movement, I knew that even if she denied it to me, I was right.

But then she eased and smirked at me. “You assume he is not involved?” she asked.

My eyes widened. That was enough asking questions for now.

“Aemond has asked I do not announce that your betrothal to Jacaerys is on pause,” she told me after a few moments of silence. I must have had a confused look on my face because she chuckled and then continued. “He says if other lords know, they will try something idiotic.”

“Smart man, he is,” I whispered. “But they will know something is going on when Jace ignores me as he has done for weeks now.”

“It was not my intention to ignore you, my sun,” Jace’s voice sounded in my ears. I turned to my left and saw him standing in the open door way. “Did nobody tell you? I got pulled away to Dragonstone and have only just returned an hour ago.”

“I think I would know if you had gone to Dragonstone,” Mother said before I had the chance to respond.

The more I thought, the more I believed that Jace had not been here. I had been at breakfast and dinner before anyone else and he had not been there. Whenever I sent someone to get him, they merely said they could not find him. Mother and I were so used to Jace being rather dramatic when his feelings were hurt, so his avoidance of anything to do with me had not come with questions. I was merely used to it.

He sighed rather loudly, an exasperated type of sigh. It sounded like an old man whose grandchildren were irking him and trying to get him to tell him stories of war. Perhaps he had grown.

“Then it is my fault for entrusting Joffrey to tell you both. He was there when I got the letter. I would have told you myself but the matter was urgent,” he said, walking over to us.

Mother had just finished pinning the braid. She had wrapped it around itself on the back of my head. It was a hairstyle her mother did for her before she had died, in fact doing it the morning of her death. She learned to do it and wore her hair this way the day she was named heir. It felt special

When I stood from my seat to face him, I noticed his jaw drop a bit. He looked me up and down many times over. When Alicent brought this dress to me this morning, I was a bit skeptical. It was a very fancy dress made of black silk and decorated with blood red rubies. It had a matching black silk cape that fastened around my neck, leaving only the area just above my cleavage visible. I wore earrings made of silver and a jewel called green tourmaline, a beautiful green with secondary tones of blue. It was, apparently, the closest one could get to a Velaryon House colored stone. I wore black shoes that bared the top of my feet, giving the style of my bed slippers but more durable. The outfit was modest, not showing enough skin to be considered indecent, but yet the fabric clung to my every curve in a way that felt completely indecent.

“You are so beautiful,” he said quietly.

“I feel a bit like a ham stuffed in a stocking,” I whispered, biting her lip.

“You are not a ham,” he said before offering a smile.

He was in a rather lovely outfit himself. His shirt was made of matching black silk, though it did not cling to him in such a way. It was fitted, giving him shape but hiding the further intricacies of his body. He was wearing fitted pants as well, making me blush a bit at how amazing his body looked in them.

“So what business did you attend in Dragonstone?” I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Sheepstealer was causing more trouble than usual,” he told the both of us. “As Prince of Dragonstone, the concerns of that island are mine own.”

Before Mother could say anything, I hugged him tightly. “Next time come get me yourself. If I am to be your Queen I need to be involved with your matters,” I said instinctually.

It occurred to me after I said it that I may not end up as his Queen. The possibility of that had never been present in my mind. It was always our plan in life that we would rule side by side, never one without the other. Any other reality made me ache.

My heart ached and it felt ridiculous. I am stuck choosing between two men that I love with everything in me. If I wanted to be really technical, I have three choices, though I could not name how I feel about Aegon. They love me the same. How silly it felt of me to be saddened by either possibility when no matter what I would love happily.

“I apologize, my sun,” he said quietly, hugging me to him just as tightly. “You are right, of course. I cannot hope to be a good King if I do not consider my Queen’s words on every decision.”

My heart fluttered against my chest. He still considered our marriage an inevitability, not just a possibility. He still thought of us being married and ruling together.

“Allow me to stay with you until it is time for your entrance?” he asked me. I nodded eagerly.

Mother looked between the two of us. Her gaze settled on me, her eyes searching my face. I gave her a subtle nod. She needed to know I had to be with him.

When she left the room, the doors still wide open behind her, I leaned into Jace’s arms. The world felt calm when he held me. The universe knew, somehow, that he was who I needed as my twin. He and I were balanced perfectly.

“You truly thought I was ignoring you?” he asked once I pulled away.

I looked down at the ground for a moment before looking back to him. He was looking at my with sad eyes. It hurt my heart to see him look like that.

“Yes. I thought you were upset enough that you were punishing me,” I told him.

He nodded and took my hand in his. “I’m sorry. Both for making you think that, and for what happened that night. It was not my place to act in such a way.”

“In truth, I think it is more your place than Aemond’s,” I admitted to him. I sighed quietly then looked to him. “You had a point. You are my twin, who I am formally betrothed to.”

He smiled at me. His smile was beautiful in a way that one had to see to understand. If you could imagine the way the prettiest sunrise makes you feel, that is how his smile makes me feel.

“You know, I like that you’ve grown your hair out. It’s quite curly, and you look amazing,” I told him. That simple of a compliment was enough to make him blush.

Jace and I felt so different than Aemond and I felt. With him there were no games. No constant battle for control. Our love for each other was simple and pure, uncaring of who was in control. I longed for the days when he was the only one who held a piece of me. It was so much simpler then.

“You always used to beg for me to grow it out,” he said with a smile on his face.

“And I was not wrong to,” I told him, smirking at him. “You look handsome. Classical. Like the prince from a fairytale.”

He reached his hand out towards me. I took it immediately, our fingers intertwining. He had somewhat of a sad smile on his face even though his eyes were sparkling like they normally did.

“It was never about us, was it?” he asked me. I couldn’t help the confusion that crossed my face at his question. “I mean…you are able to be complete with all of us, yes? Me, Aemond, even Aegon. The different sides of you that we all see, that is what makes you whole, and so it was never about one of us being better than another, but it was all about you feeling completed.”

As he spoke, he squeezed my hand. My throat felt as though it was beginning to close. All I could do was nod. I had no argument, no further explanation for him.

When Jace pulled me to sit on his lap, I could feel tears begin to prick at my eyes. The way he was so adamant about holding me close scared me. It almost felt like he was about to tell me he was done, that he didn’t want me anymore.

“I wish I could be the only one you need,” he said softly, placing his hand on my cheek. “I could never make you unhappy, issa dāria, and I thought giving you the time to find which you wanted would be the way to make you happy. But I realized something.”

“If this is your way of explaining to me you do not wish to marry me anymore, please just say it outright. This feels more cruel,” I whispered, letting out a shaky breath.

He shook his head softly. “Not at all. I could never love anyone else. I merely want to say that I have realized you have told me what would make you happy since we were children, and I was too selfish to ever consider it.”

My brain tried to understand what he was saying, to really grasp his meaning. But I could feel my heart banging against my chest as though it could already sense his next words. There was no way he was actually about to say it, was there?

“If marrying both Aemond and I is what will make you happy, I will no longer fight against it. I do not know how everything will work, I do not know how Aegon will fit into it, but I know that I love you and you love me. In the end, that is all that matters to me,” he told me, wiping away a tear that I had not been aware escaped my eye.

My entire life I had been begging for this. My entire life I knew that I was always meant to be with them, that my fate intertwined with theirs. I had convinced myself it was selfish and impossible.

I looked everywhere along his face, trying to find any uncertainty or reluctance. Yet, no matter how desperately I searched, there was none. He spoke the truth and his mind was made up.

“I imagine you already have thoughts as to how you wish it to work,” I whispered. He smiled at me and leaned forward to give me a gentle, albeit brief, kiss.

“Ideally we wait for certain things. You and I marry and give ourselves a couple of years so that we can have a child without question. I will not try to stop you from being with either of them in that time, I merely hope you will respect me enough to take precautions. Then after a couple of years, you and Aemond marry in the Valyrian tradition. Everything else I figure we will take it as it comes,” he said softly, running his thumb over my cheek again and again.

“And you truly love me enough for this?” I asked him. If there was any part of him that had any doubts, I could not ask him to do this.

“When I was in Dragonstone, I found letters. Many more than I ever thought had been shared, and in truth I should not have read any of them. But they were letters that Mother had received from Daemon, from our Aunt Laena, from our fathers, even from Alicent. All of these letters were discussing life and love in ways I had never thought of such,” he told me.

I placed my hand on the one of his that rested on my cheek. Simultaneously, I was pulling him further into me while holding him. He did not need to say anything else about them.

While I had not seen any from Alicent, I did once find nearly a box stuffed with letters. It was hard to piece together everything without Mother’s words, but I had an idea. Letters from Daemon and Laena talking about longing for Mother’s company, how they should have always been raising us and Rhaena and Baela together from the start. Letters from Ser Harwin, which I am almost certain he would hide for her to find instead of them being sent with a raven, describing her beauty and how she glowed when she was pregnant, thanking her for giving him such blessings. Ser Laenor’s were always phrased as though he was talking to his dearest friend, describing to her the beauty of the sea on the few trips out he went on after their marriage.

I could not honestly say I understood all the implications of them when I first read them. If I were being honest, they confused me more than told me anything. But when I thought back on them, I felt similarly to Jace. They teach more about love than most are willing to openly admit. That love does not always mean you find one person and that was it, after that person you were doomed to be alone.

“And your plans for you?” I asked him. I needed to know. If for no other reason, than if I felt too strongly about him talking about being with someone else, I couldn’t take him up on this. It had to be fair.

“I told you, I will never love anyone else,” he told me with a firmness that I had never heard from him. It was very Kingly of him. “I was not with anyone while you were away, but not because I never tried. After a couple of years, I tried. I tried to find love, I tried to find someone that could make the pain of losing you manageable. But after every person I met, I came to my chambers alone, still praying to every god imaginable you would be returned. I never even got so much as a kiss because any person I spoke with just made me ache more for you.”

“My darling, I never thought it could be so difficult for you,” I whispered. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

He kissed me softly. It truly was the best way to shut me up. And this kiss felt so good. It was like it was the beginning of everything.

[ephemerensis]

Kalopsia // Tim Drake x GN! Reader

lolz wrote this to cope bc im losing my mind, not proofread xoxo enjoy this is angst and hurt bc forgiving people is too easy when they were more than you could bear

—

“Let’s break up.”

At the time you felt so grown up to offer it. Looking back, it seemed more like an act of desperation. Those words were a lifeline thrown to sea, a silent plea for him to deny you and prove it was all still salvageable. But lifelines meant little when there was nothing to swim back to, and your ship had long been sinking.

Things moved slower in summer. A cruel juxtaposition to the winter you met in, the winter you felt you embodied and the winter he said he loved. But as the days grew longer, honeying the time you spent together, you could feel it all so much more clearly. You practically bathed in it, suffocated by the ailments of the inevitable. It wasn’t working.

So you casted your lifeline, pleading Tim would grasp it, he would disagree and fight for you. All under the guise that this needed to happen.

Your head rested on his core, the two of you sprawled out on a picnic blanket under the clear skies. His hand was running its course through your hair. The sun was so warm, but not quite as warm as the hope that flickered in your chest when you felt him tense. His hand paused and for a moment you tasted salvation. Then he unfroze, melted in the summer heat. Tantalizingly caught up in the lazy summer air’s slow, he was fine.

And you were bitter when he accepted.

“Okay.”

You could feel the reserved smile that graced his gentle features without looking. But even after all this time, you could never tell really what he meant by it. And that was months ago.

Now you were in the city alone. Your own apartment. A steady job. The same cream cheese everything bagel in the morning with a cup of hazelnut coffee from the cute little bakery on the corner next to the police station everyday, where you knew his brother worked but also knew he would never visit. The one you were bustling into today, the drops of snow that followed you in instantly disintegrating when met with the warm bakery air. The lingering thoughts of him and his coffee comatoses fading as the sharp cinnamon scent hit you.

There he stood. The millisecond it took for you to recognize him stretched on for centuries. You missed him so much that you’d conjured up a visage built from a stranger’s likeness, you’d thought. The familiar unkempt raven head of hair, and the way he was always hunched over to squint at his phone while he waited for his morning cold brew.

But it was him. Your body knew it before your mind did, feet freezing in place as you stared. When he turned around, the roots holding you to the ground grasped you for a moment too long. It was enough for him to see you and your dumb conflicted expression, despite the hustle bustle of morning rush hour. Enough for him to stare back a second longer than he should’ve as you turned around and took off.

You couldn’t place in your head exactly why you were running. The cafe just suddenly felt too small and the look in his eyes as you turned to leave felt too gentle. So against any semblance of logic, you decided to hurry away. You heard him call after you as you ran down the sidewalk. You saw him comb through the crowds almost frantically as you pressed your back against an alley building. You saw him run past the alley. But like an unavoidable magnetism, you saw him stop and turn; eyes finding your own amongst the throng of moving people.

Everything was silent as he approached you. Slow; like a tamer to a wild animal, holding your gaze the whole way. Something about the way he looked at you made you feel so vulnerable. As if his eyes could read your soul.

And then he was in front of you and the noise came rushing back. In fact, it was a little too loud as you stared up at him, you almost didn’t hear him say hello.

It was a timid one. The kind you would offer your mother after the two of you fought and you wanted to test the waters after the smoke cleared.

“Hi,” you said in the same small way. There wasn’t much else to say. This was the boy who knew every unapologetic aspect about you. The one whose wellbeing became your earth shattering priority. The one your heart still whined at the prospect of knowing. The boy you shouldn’t be thinking of again, because he was nothing to you now. You broke up.

He looked at you almost apologetically. Not that he had to. You weren’t mad at him. You had no right to be angry. You, with your subliminal messaging and silent pleas, broke up with him.

Or at least that’s what you told yourself as the memories bubbled up. Never knowing where he was at night. Apology flowers on days that dates were lost to fatigue. That stupid feeling of being taken for granted every time you wanted to get closer to him and he pushed you away as if you were in the wrong.

It was a mutual, clean, break. You must’ve been clingy for him to let you go so easily.

“How are you doing?”

You couldn’t make eye contact. It wasn’t his fault but it didn’t hurt you any less. If he knew you he’d know that. If he knew you. Instead you kept your gaze pinned to the wall behind him as you tried to sort your thoughts and swallow your feelings.

“I’m doing great,” you hated how meek you sounded. As if a person you knew so deeply would make you shrink back in your shell like this. “You?”

“I’m good too. Do you visit that shop often?” If he could sense your apprehension he didn’t show it. Enthused was a better word to describe him.

“No,” you lied. Half because you didn’t want him to know where you frequented. “Just when I’m in the area.” Half because you were tired of bearing yourself to someone that never really saw you.

“That’s cool.” You could hear the smile in his voice. The awkward one that made it seem like this, you, pained him. It was so frustratingly condescending, as if he wasn’t the cause of your misgivings.

“Yeah.” A beat of silence passed and you waited. For what exactly, you couldn’t be sure. An apology, an extension, a follow up question— some tidbit about his life you were dying to know but too hurt to ask. Anything.

But that was it. It was too little and too much all at once. Nothing changed.

Ducking your head down, you slipped past him, reentering the busy sidewalk to just get away as he stayed still there. Foolishly, something in you, the part that still loved him, hoped he would stop you but you knew better.

Except he did. He caught you by your arm just as you were about to slip away into the crowd.

“Wait.”

You had every means to pull away, his grip wasn’t so tight. This was a plea, not a command. He was cruel for it, because as much as you’d get mad and give up and run away, you would crumble if he’d asked. That’s exactly how you felt now. Frustrated to no end but as he uttered that ‘wait,’ you felt the earth crumble at your feet, forging a path that could only lead to staying for him.

It was enough to make you want to cry.

“Please. Don’t do that to me.” Meek and mild and weak; something you could never be to anyone else. The worst part was, you never wanted to present yourself to him that way either— he’d just invoked it in you in a way that made you feel so exposed it was terrifying.

Now he looked confused, as if this was unexpected, “…what?”

“Don’t tell me to wait, because if you do I’ll wait here for centuries. I’ll look for you in every alley that I pass on the way.” You looked at him, locking your tear brimmed eyes with his own cerulean depths you’d fallen into time and time again. “I’ll seek refuge in every stranger I meet, wondering what exactly I’m missing that made us wrong as if I had some fatal flaw that made me so dismissible to you. Every time you open your mouth, I listen like a dog and you would know that if you’d known me. It’s mean, Tim. You’re being mean.”

You were crying now, calcium streaking your cheeks, but you were too used to the embarrassment to care. That’s how it was with him. You were raw. Vulnerable. And he just looked at you as if that’s the way you were.

“I’m sorry.” His hand reached towards you, to rest on your shoulder, but you shrugged it away.

“You’re not! And that’s the thing with you, I can’t even be mad. You’ve done nothing wrong. This is all my fault! I couldn’t ever be good. I couldn’t ever talk to you. I couldn’t ever let go. I overthink every little thing when it comes to you, I can’t even be here without imploding. I broke up with you. So please… don’t be cruel and let me go. Tell me to leave and I’ll listen.”

For a minute he just stared back and you wondered if your words even registered at all. You couldn’t read his expression.

“Why should I?”

It was your turn to be bewildered.

“You’re wrong, for the record, and I’m sorry I let you go; and I miss you.”

“Tim—“

“I know you. Not as well as I’d like, and clearly not enough for you to see it, but I do. You have never been selfish once in your life; not with people you care for. You keep your mouth shut and you act like everything is fine to avoid burdening others.”

He’d taken your hand somewhere during the course of his proclamation, but you didn’t feel inclined to pull away. For the first time you saw it in him; the sundering you felt when you bore your sores to him “I’d known that, and I thought if I just gave you time you’d open up to lean on me.”

“I tried, Tim. I reached out to you every chance I got to the point where I doubted you even wanted to be around me. And I know that’s my fault too for not being more benign, but you can’t have expected that out of me.” You couldn’t count the amount of times you poured your heart out to an empty spigot. He was so above it all, it made you feel bad. Tim never cried like you did, fists pounding on the floor. Nor did he run into half as many conflicts.

“And I was wrong for it.”

Even now it felt like you were losing a war he didn’t know you were fighting. You had your hand laid bare while he was still dealing the deck. “Why’d you agree with me? Why did you let me break up with you?”

“I thought that’s what you wanted and I was stupid. I knew you were hurting, and more than anything I wanted you to be okay. I’m sorry, but please don’t ever think it was easy because it wasn’t. I just didn’t want you to feel any worse.”

“I was hurt! I was so inconsolably hurt, but it hurt so much more to be without you.”

Your voice broke as you choked back a sob. He pulled you in and like a dog you didn’t resist, falling back into the arms you’d run away from. They were so warm.

“Let me try again,” he’d whispered to you.

And against your better judgement you whispered back, “okay.”

[halfagonyandhope]

when the skies catch fire │ch. 44

first chapter (x); previous chapter (x)

“Can I ask you something, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan looks over at his brother, the Dantooine sun glinting off his strawberry blond hair. Elzar is wearing it half up today, reminding Obi-Wan of how Qui-Gon had always styled his.

“Of course,” he responds.

They’re walking together in the port city market at the base of the Dantooine mountains, having been given a list of items to trade for. They’ve made a dent in the list but still need to locate half a dozen items. Obi-Wan leans on his cane as they walk down the cobbled street.

“What was the nature of your relationship with Cody?” asks Elzar, shifting his pack to his other shoulder.

Obi-Wan is immediately grateful that Satine had looped him in on her observations, and he recognizes Elzar’s question for what it is. Navigating through a densely-packed area of the street, Obi-Wan waits until Elzar has joined him on the other side of the crowd of people before responding.

“You’re asking if there ever was anything romantic or sexual between myself and Cody.”

Elzar nods, his expression unreadable.

“No, there was not,” Obi-Wan says, taking another step forward, and Elzar follows him. “In another lifetime, perhaps there would have been,” he admits. “But I met Satine as a teenager, and I never fell out of love with her. While of course it’s possible to love two people in that manner simultaneously, it’s not something I’ve ever been capable of.” His cane clicks against the cobblestone as he continues walking through the market. “There was also the not insignificant issue of my technically being Cody's superior. The…the power imbalance was deterrent enough to prevent feelings of that nature from ever developing on my end. Though, of course, I cannot speak to if my experience was the same as Cody’s.”

“Cody said something similar, when I asked him.”

Obi-Wan quirks a brow at this, and Elzar continues.

“It’s obvious there is a great respect and love shared between you two,” says Elzar. “I wanted to do my due diligence in determining the nature of that love before anything escalated. between myself and him.”

Obi-Wan stops and turns toward his brother, looking up at him. “Very little could make me happier than if you and Cody found happiness together,” he says softly. “You don’t need my permission, of course, but you have it, if you’d like.”

A smile starts to spread slowly across Elzar’s face, and then suddenly it breaks into a full grin. Obi-Wan recognizes that smile - it’s the same he wears whenever he himself looks at Satine.

His own mouth curves up, and he places his free hand on Elzar’s shoulder briefly.

“But brother or not, I will not hesitate to avenge him if you hurt him,” says Obi-Wan, bringing his hand back down, jostling the poncho that he’s wearing so that Elzar can catch a quick glance at the lightsaber that hangs on his hip.

To his credit, Elzar is unfazed.

“If I did so, then I would deserve it,” Elzar says, and Obi-Wan nods.

“As long as that’s clear,” says Obi-Wan, taking a step forward. But then he turns around to where Elzar is rooted to the spot. His tone and expression soften. “I will give the same caveat to Cody about you, you know,” he adds gently.

He swears he sees Elzar’s eyes sparkle - with moisture or mischief, he’s not quite sure - before Obi-Wan turns back around, continuing down the market street.

They make their way companionably, adding to Elzar’s pack and crossing items off their list. Just as they’ve found the last item, Obi-Wan’s attention is caught by a sparkle of gold, and he heads toward a table covered in jewelry.

Most of the items are somewhat rusty or dusty or both, but Obi-Wan is immediately drawn to a gold diadem with a simple blue-green stone set in the center. He blinks, flashes of Satine wearing a pink traveling coat and a similar diadem appearing before his eyes.

He thinks back to the various other diadems he knows used to be in her wardrobe. It had been a long time since Satine had any sort of proper jewelry in her possession. She has the kyber crystal necklace now, of course, but he knows the peeling leather cord is a sorry excuse for ornamentation. And he’d never managed to get her an engagement ring, even if she wore the beskar wedding band religiously.

“It belonged to a Jedi.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes snap up to meet the shopkeeper’s gaze. The Twi’lek man’s brilliant blue eyes didn’t outwardly show any signs of deception, but without the Force, Obi-Wan couldn’t be sure.

Not in the mood to barter for long today, Obi-Wan digs in a pocket and produces a single ingot of beskar. He holds it up, silently asking the man for a deal.

The Twi’lek man shakes his head. “You’ll need at least two to trade for the diadem.”

“Pity,” says Obi-Wan, putting the ingot back in his pocket and walking away, Elzar moving to follow him.

A second water, the shopkeeper flags them down. “Wait! You have yourself a deal.”

Obi-Wan grins at Elzar, turning around to make the trade.

---

Satine is in the middle of a call in the conference room when Obi-Wan and Elzar return, so Obi-Wan goes in search of Quinlan and Ventress, the diadem tucked inside a pouch at his hip.

They’re stretching in one of the training rooms, working up Quinlan’s fitness so that he will eventually be able to spar. Obi-Wan thinks his friend already looks happier now that he’s been cleared to do some physical activity, however minimal.

Ventress, too, appears more relaxed than he’s seen her, and she shoots him a grin when he enters the room. 

“Successful supply run?” asks Quinlan.

Obi-Wan sits down beside them. “Uneventful,” he says, setting his cane to the side. “So I suppose that counts as a success.” He taps his fingers against one knee. “Quin, I was looking for you because I wanted to ask for a psychometry read on something I picked up at the market - but then I remembered you probably can’t do those readings anymore, can you?”

Quinlan shakes his head, and to Obi-Wan’s surprise, he’s smiling. “It’s actually incredible,” he says. “I don’t have to worry about being overcome with pain or grief or anger whenever I pick something up,” he admits. “It’s liberating, not being overstimulated all the time.”

Ventress shifts from a right-legged split into a center split. “What did you find?” she asks Obi-Wan, curious.

Obi-Wan digs in his pouch and reveals the diadem. “It’s for Satine,” he says, handing it to Ventress. “She used to have one that looked like it. The shopkeeper said it was a Jedi's. He didn’t look like he was trying to lie to me, but…”

Ventress chuckles. “Hard to tell when the Force isn’t whispering in your ear,” she says, examining the diadem. She looks up at Obi-Wan. “When Vos and I were training to take down Dooku, he wasn’t the only one learning things,” she adds.

Quinlan grins, leaning so his shoulder brushes against Obi-Wan’s. “I taught her everything I know about psychometry,” he says proudly.

Ventress rolls her eyes. “You don’t know all that much, then, do you?” she quips, and her eyes land back on Obi-Wan. “Psychometry can be learned,” she says, “and I did learn a bit. But I’ve not nearly as proficient as Vos. It’s like breathing to him - it’s natural. It takes much more focus when I attempt it.” She turns the diadem over in her hands. “I could try, though, if you want me to.”

Intensely curious, Obi-Wan nods.

Ventress folds her legs together, crossing them in a meditative position. Then she cups the diadem between her palms and closes her eyes.

She begins to chant in a language that Obi-Wan is unfamiliar with. He raises a brow at Quinlan.

“It works better when she uses her Nightsister magick,” explains Quinlan.

“It works better when I am surrounded by silence,” snaps Ventress, and Quinlan bites his lip, unable to completely stop his laughter.

But then silence does descend, and Ventress resumes chanting.

Obi-Wan feels himself being pulled in by the words as they dance up and down in pitch, and they twist around him like a musical staff filled with notes. He closes his eyes.

Suddenly, he feels warm; he feels calm. He feels as though even if the worst possible outcome were to meet him, he will survive. He doesn’t feel pain. He opens his eyes, startled.

He doesn’t feel pain.

His joints aren’t aching. His headache has dissipated. Even the scar tissue on his skin isn’t pulling uncomfortably.

He gasps, Ventress opens her eyes and goes silent, and the feeling is gone.

Obi-Wan breathes heavily, and Ventress leans over to press a cold hand to the crook of his elbow. Quinlan is standing over him at his other side.

“Obi-Wan, what the kriff?”

Obi-Wan looks at them, eyes wide. “I think I…”

He tries again, his breath still unsteady.

“I think I felt the Force.”

[loosingmoreletters]

After sending the knights to their lodgings, Aurel locked himself up in the nursery, dismissing all servants attending to his son. Lurian was so quiet and cheerful, it nearly made up for how strenuous his birth had been. Aurel could not imagine any circumstances under which he would not love his son. If this child were to ask for a star, Aurel would travel to the skies himself to deliver them.

Wrapped up in a thick blanket, Lurian sleeping soundly in his arms, Aurel wished he could rest as well. Today he was relieved from his duties, but tomorrow they have to stay preparing for the funeral and inheritance ceremony. For twelve years, Aurel had lived for this moment only, yet he felt wholly unprepared for it.

A slight knock at the door interrupted the otherwise quiet night.

“Come in.”

The door opened, revealing the woman he loved like a mother.

“My Lord,” she greeted him and bowed his neck - a sign of respect he long stopped asking her to perform, and she yet steadily executed to perfection. “I can take care of the young Master if you want to rest.”

Aurel shook his head. “I prefer keeping Lurian by my side. Have the Knights settled?”

“Yes, Sir Ahst managed everything.” His nanny paused, her expression falling. “Sir Ahst also informed me about the circumstances of the Count’s passing.”

Aurel clicked his tongue. “Father passed due to a battle injury. It is a honorable death.”

His nanny didn’t say anything in disagreement, but Aurel also got the sense that she didn’t approve. She had seen him grown up, wrapped his wounds in bandages and let him cry into her apron; she had probably hoped his father’s fate would be a different one.

“He left last words for you.”

Aurel frowned and adjust his hold on his son. “The knights didn’t report any.”

“I assume they did not want to hurt you. The Count’s last words were for Aurelia. He apologized to her.”

Aurel was glad to be sitting down.

His father had not spoken that name in a decade. Everyone knew that even just mentioning it around him would see him fly into fit of rage, Aurel most often his victim.

“What did he apologize for?” Aurel asked. “My failure to be a better son?”

His nanny closed her eyes as though in pain. “The late Count apologized for failing to be the father Aurelia needed.”

Nanny paused. “The father you needed.”

Lurian yawned and opened his eyes. The newborn blue had turned into a light purple, reminiscent of lilac blooms in summer. It was the only obvious trait Lurian had inherited from his other parent. His dark hair was just like Aurel’s, the shape of his eyebrows too if Aurel’s childhood portrait could be trusted.

“So what? Does he regret putting me in my brother’s clothes now?” Aurel asked. “Raising me in his name? Telling me to have a son in case his scheme is discovered!?”

With his one free hand, Aurel ran his fingers through his hair, thinking back to a year ago, his father’s cold voice demanding yet another heir of a child, the vulgar words spoken, giving him money to hire a good quality prostitute—

“He didn’t even care about me when I was bleeding out on child bed, only if Lurian was a boy! Why does he apologize to a girl he told me to bury—“

Lurian started to cry, surprised at Aurel’s raised voice. Guilt immediately rose within him and Aurel started soothing his son. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He didn’t mean to upset Lurian, not when he loved him so much. He wouldn’t raise Lurian the way his own father had raised Aurel.

“You do not have to forgive him, Aurel.”

Aurel looked up to his nanny, softly watching over him even as Lurian still cried.

“And even if you will, I won’t.”

“Thank you.”

His nanny smiled at him. “Do you wish for me to look after Lurian now so you can collect your thoughts? The wet nurse ought to feed him soon.”

“Would be nice if I could do it myself, wouldn’t it?” Aurel asked. It was supposed to be a joke, but it fell rather flat considering his nanny had been the one changing his bandages day and night after that particular organ was removed. They had to wait after his last growth spurt was over, which kept being delayed, a matter his father was as relieved about as annoyed.

“You can take him,” Aurel decided and carefully handed his squirming son over to his nanny. “I will go visit Lius’s grave.”

His nanny inclined her head again. “As you wish.”

“Thank you, Nanny.” Aurel’s gaze lingered on Lurian. “Behave for nanny.”

His nanny feigned outrage. “The young master is the most well-behaved boy in the land. Very different from how you and your brother used to be.”

Aurel grinned. “That isn’t particularly difficult.”

And even if Lurian were the most troublesome child on the continent, Aurel would still love him wholeheartedly.

[mewo-cressei]

Welp, I dug my own grave, I suppose.

@julieisasimp @the-arcade-doctor @a-moths-privacy

uhhh idk who else to tag

Note's:

Y/N is a freak. Think what you will.

and stutters, but not in a "i-i-i-im so sorry! I-i-i-i-it won't happen again!" type of way but more of a "i-im sorry! It w-wont happen again!" Type of way.

JOTA is more flirtatious. NOT IN A "you're so cute i could eat you up" type of way but more like "you're mine. Got it?~" type of way (I'M SORRY IM UNSURE HOW TO WRITE HIM I'VE NEVER WRITTEN BEFORE WAAAA-)

(Also this is very suggestive 😳)

The arcade doctor x abused run away reader

TW's: abusive parents, running away from home

Your mother had yelled at you, once again.

She never heard what you had to say, never even turned her head when you told her that your brother snuck out again.

she always favored him over you, making you clean dishes, cook dinner and have the highest grades.

Even if you got a mere A- she'd yell at you. Yet, your brother, who never got a grade above C-, never got punished in his life.

So, you decided to run away.

You've been planning this for weeks.

Your plan was to leave to go "hang out with friends" because she'd let you if you did everything she asked you to, on top of getting an A+ on every assignment you had that week.

You only took your water bottle and phone, seeing as she would yell at you if she noticed your backpack looked "stuffed full of condoms/alcohol/cigarettes". you never understood her logic.

You approach the exit, before telling her:

"mom! I'm gonna go hang out with my friends!"

You then hear your chainsmoker-mother's hoarse voice yell back:

"you actually have friends?!"

She laughed.

"Alright, fine, but only today. No more going out for the rest of the month, got it?! And be back BEFORE 5."

But you knew you wouldn't be back. You yell back, making sure not to be too loud, as she'd take it as 'disrespectful':

"alright, bye, mom"

And then you leave.

And you ran. And ran. You ran for so long, you had no idea where you were. Your mom never let you go so far away from the house, and yet...

This place felt more like home than anywhere else.

And then...

You fell... Through the ground?

This can't be right, can it?

You felt... Pixel-y? Glitchy? You felt... Unnatural.

EVERYTHING felt unnatural.

...and then you saw.. violet skies?

'What is this place?'

You thought to yourself.

Then, the violet ended.

You saw many places flash before your eyes, as well as your life, you saw a pumpkin patch, a graveyard, a circus tent, (continue) ... and then everything got so blurry you couldn't even make out colors.

you felt like you were falling for eternity, and then..

you fell right onto your back.

Your entire body had no sensation for a few moments, possibly from the adrenaline rush, and when you did get it back, everything hurt.

It was dull, not sharp at all, But it hurt like hell.

Your mind was foggy from all of the pain.

But you could conjure up one thought as you were recovering:

'Good thing I'm used to it, since I was beat by my mother. At least that's an up side.'

You knew it wasn't a good thing at all, but you had to view things in a positive light, considering your circumstances.

You didn't know how you were still even alive, but thanked whatever deity or guardian angel saved you.

After what felt like hours, the pain was finally gone.

You tried to get up, and it worked! You once again thanked whatever deity or guardian angel saved you from breaking all your bones.

Your entire body hurt though.

It was less then before, but it still lingered.

You then looked around, and to your right you saw...

'An... Arcade? Here?!'

You thought to yourself, not believing you eyes, rubbing them.

You read the sign above the door...

'JOTAS ARCADE where fun spreads like the plague'

'...what a strange name for someone...'

You thought

'Surely it's just a mascot, and isn't real... right?'

The slogan seemed fitting, though, seeing as the mascot looks like a plague doctor.

You decide to come inside...

The first thing you notice is....

Everything is an eye-gouging neon green. Your head hurt from it.

You close your eyes in a desperate attempt to stop the pain, putting your hands over them.

You then hear a voice..

"[ J:\\ WELCOME TO JOTA'S ARCADE, WHERE FUN SPREADS LIKE THE PLAGUE! ...CAN I HELP YOU? ]"

You're surprised that there's anyone even here, from the glimpses you could catch of the place, it looked run down, wires hanging from the ceiling, something goo-like on the walls, arcade cabinets with no buttons...

"[ J:\\ EXCUSE ME? ARE YOU JUST GONNA STAND THERE? ]

you then reply with:

"J-just give me a second.. my head hurts..."

You make sure the last part is silent, stumbling over your words a little from the confusion.

You then notice you've finally acclimated to the neon greens of the arcade, realizing only after opening your eyes and not feeling any pain.

You take away your hands from your eyes, looking around, noticing the voice you had heard came from a plague doctor behind the prize counter, he looked just like who you had seen on the sign, assuming that was 'JOTA'

He was a green so neon, he was almost glowing... Wait, was he?

'...it could be weirder. at least I'm okay...'

You think, thankful you're even alive.

You see the plague doctor was now speaking to a hooded figure...

You decide to not think about that, and investigate the arcade cabinet which you had seen, walking over to it.

'surely I'm just seeing things, right?'

You think to yourself.

After You had come over to the arcade cabinet, you then see your eyes hadn't deceived you, it really had no buttons.

'thats... Why would an arcade not have any buttons? How would you even play...'

You cut yourself off, trying to stop yourself from panicking.

'...this isn't the weirdest thing I had seen, it could be worse.'

You look back, seeing the plague doctor was still speaking to the hooded figure, you now notice that the figure had eyes nearly glowing green, though, you wouldn't be surprised if they really did.

and then, you finally noticed.. the plague doctor.. his right arm seemed... Off.

It was.. corrupted? You just decided to ignore it, this was already more abnormal than you'd like it to be, so it's probably better to just ignore it.

You decided to walk around, look for any sign of someone else who understood what's happening..

yet all you found were corpses.

Your mom had forced you to witness horrible things in movies, so you were mostly unbothered.

But still afraid of the idea of someone being able to hurt you.

After you had seen that nobody, well, living was here, except for that hooded figure and the plague doctor, you decide to ask one of them.

You look back, noticing the hooded figure walk away.

You decide to ask the plague doctor what was happening.

'his name was JOTA, right?'

You were quite forgetful, so you weren't sure of yourself.

You walked over to the prize counter, repeating what you going to say over and over in your head, not wanting to mess up.

Once you get there, you had finally conjured up the courage to speak.

"u-um excuse me, your n-name is 'JOTA' right?"

"[ J:\\ THE ONE AND ONLY! ]"

"I uhm.. w-where exactly a-am I? I-I mean I know I'm in your arcade! I'm just... Lost.."

"[ J:\\ LOST? SO, YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU GOT HERE ON ACCIDENT? ]"

"Y-yes.."

"[ J:\\ WELL, YOU'RE OUT OF LUCK. ]"

"w-..what?!"

"[ J:\\ THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO, KID! I'D RECOMMEND GETTING USED TO SEEING GREEN! ]"

You sigh, and start walking away, thinking.

'at least it's better than before..'

"[ J:\\ HOLD ON. ]"

you stop dead in your tracks, turning around, and walking back to the prize counter.

"[ J:\\ HOW ABOUT A DEAL? YOU HELP ME AROUND THE ARCADE, AND I KEEP YOU ALIVE. ]"

He reaches out his right hand, seemingly grinning, though you couldn't tell if he was actually grinning, because of the mask, you could hear it in his voice.

"[ J:\\ WHAT DO YOU SAY, KID? ]"

You hesitate, knowing you might be making a bad decision, but you've seen the corpses, and have no other choices.

You shake his hand.

"d-deal.."

You say, hesitantly.

"[ J:\\ JEHEHE! ANOTHER ONE TO THE SLAUGHTER~ ]"

You shudder. It was frightening, but the way he said that last part made you a little giddy.

He let's go, you immediately retract your hand.

"[ J:\\ SO, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? ]"

"m-my name is Y/N.."

"[ J:\\ WHAT A GREAT NAME FOR MY NEW LITTLE PUPPET~ ]"

You blushed.

He left the prize counter, walking over to you... But he didn't stop once he was in front of you. You walked backwards, him backing you into a wall. He pinned you against it.

You were afraid, but very flustered.

"[ J:\\ WELL, AREN'T YOU CUTE FOR A TOY~ ]"

He said, cupping your chin with his clawed hand, inspecting his new doll.

He then let go, running his claws against your neck roughly. It hadn't drawn blood, it just hurt. but.. it felt good. It made you let out a breathy sigh.

"[ J:\\ JEHE~ SUCH A SUBMISSIVE LITTLE PLAYTHING~ ]"

He said, a flirtatious lace in his voice.

[ J:\\ NOW, HOW ABOUT WE RAISE THE STAKES A BIT, DEAR?~ YOU COULD EITHER PUT ON A "SHOW" FOR ME HERE AND NOW, OOOR YOU COME BACK TO MY OFFICE, AT THE COST OF YOU WALKING PROPERLY FOR A FEW WEEKS~ ]

He said, making sure you heard the last part.

You were sure that you would've blushed harder by now, if you could.

"I-I uh pick the latter"

You said, unable to stop yourself from saying that.

"[ J:\\ GOOD~ ]"

He said, before picking you up and carrying you to his office. You were a flustered mess.

Once you two were in his office, he set you down onto his desk, putting his hands on either side of you, pinning you against it.

Then... I'll leave it up to your imagination -v•

(basically, I CANT WRITE EROTICA YOU DO IT)

[avengerscompound]

The Tower - Loki

The Tower - Loki

Series Masterlist

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 2612

Warnings:  smut (MF, vaginal sex)

Synopsis:  Elly reminisces about Loki’s first introductions to each of the groups children, then the god of mischief gives her some needed alone time with Thor. 

Author’s Note: Requested by RoyaWitch on Wattpad and JamieBarnes on AO3. You can send in your requests too.

Takes place after Happily Ever After but references the past a lot.

Loki

It was a quiet day on Asgard.  The weather was mild, warm without being too hot, and had clear skies.  Thor was taking one of his unusual days off the throne, and Sam and Steve were taking his place.  Thor and I had taken Thour and Nova to the courtyard to play with the Vulparev.  They were toddling around, using their familiars to steady themselves as they explored the garden, and Thor and I sat on a rug watching them, me leaning up against Thor as he played with my hair.  We had a little picnic set up, with snacks and drinks for us and the kids, plus some treats for the Vulparev.

We hadn’t been outside very long when both the children squealed loudly and ran to the other side of the atrium.  Thor and I sat up to see what was happening just in time to see the twins slam into Loki’s legs.

“Yes, hello.  It is good to see you too,” he said, crouching down and holding his arms out.  The twins both clambered up on him like he was a tree and he stood, holding them both on his hips.

“Brother!” Thor boomed.  “It is good to see you on this fine day.  Where are you headed?”

Loki carried the babies over to us, the vulparev flanking him on either side.  When he saw us laying on the grass he shook his head and gave a small roll of his eyes. “Oh good, my favorite people,” he snarked.

“I hear the sarcasm, Loki, and I wonder who you’re trying to convince,” I teased.

He smirked and took a seat, plopping the two toddlers into his lap. “I’m not really going anywhere, brother,” he said.  “I was just walking.  Are you slacking today?”

Thor chuckled, refusing to take the bait.  “Steven and Samuel are on the throne today.  They are more than capable of running the kingdom.”

Loki tsked and rolled his eyes, but as he did Nova started to climb up onto him again and cuddled against his side.  Loki’s eyes softened and he gazed down at the little boy.  “Well, aren’t you a sweet little thing?”

I smiled as I gazed at them.  Loki had always been so good with the children.  Back when Riley and Pietro had been born, I’d been a little nervous about Loki meeting them.  I liked Loki back then, though I didn’t know them very well.  I knew Thor adored his sibling but I also knew that Loki had long-held resentments due to Odin’s treatment of them.  It had manifested into a fight for the throne that kept repeating itself, Thor being the chosen child to rule despite not wanting to, and Loki believing that Thor was a bad choice.  I’d worried that with Riley’s birth, that resentment would come to a head again because now Loki wouldn’t even be the next in line to rule after Thor.

When Loki had come to meet the twins it was the first time I’d ever seen her presenting as a woman.  She was so beautiful dressed in a green and gold gown and when Thor placed Pietro into her arms, all concerns that she’d ever be a risk to those children melted away immediately.  She looked so maternal with him in her arms.  Almost as if motherhood was part of her divinity.

“Hello, child,” she cooed.  “I’m your aunt.  You’re not always going to have an easy life.  Your sister is heir to a throne and she’s likely to be very powerful.  But don’t worry. I’ll always be here for you.  I know what it’s like to have a sibling that is difficult to stand in the shadow of.  Perhaps I can teach you magic someday.  Would you like that?”

She flicked her fingers over Pietro’s head and green light danced on her fingertips.  Pietro cooed and reached for them, completely mesmerized by the light.

While Pietro was her favorite, she’d loved Riley just as strongly, and even though the twins didn’t get to see Loki constantly, it was enough that they soon learned that their aunt was often their uncle, and they were always excited when they visited.  Often when Thor returned home to us, after the twins had gotten their cuddles from their father, the first thing they asked was ‘Where’s Loki?”

Loki met Rebecca, Sarah, Rose, and Eddie at the same time.  This time he came and stayed with us at the tower for a few months.  He was so excited to meet the new clan, though Pietro was still the favored one.  We’d been a little worried about Loki staying for so long.  He did get bored easily and not everyone had fully forgiven Thor’s brother for his past transgressions.  Clint’s grudge in particular ran very deep.  I understood that - Loki had made Clint kill friends. People who he knew.  People who had family.

We had once again been proven wrong.  Not that Loki didn’t get bored and cause trouble.  He did.  A god of mischief has to mischief.  His pranks were all on the harmless side and mostly he was a blessing to have around.  He helped change diapers.  He would take Riley and Pietro to and from school.  The thing is, Loki is also the god of stories, and each night during that visit he would weave these amazing tales for Riley and Pietro that would even keep many of us adults enthralled.

I think by the time Billy was born, Loki was starting to think we were maybe breeding a little much.  He didn’t come down to visit right away, and in fact, he didn’t meet Billy until we brought the kids to Asgard when he was six months old.

Loki had met us on the Rainbow Bridge and after being set upon by Riley and Pietro, he came over to Wanda who was trying to soothe Billy after the trip through the Bifrost.

“Where is the new addition to the family?” he asked.

“He’s here,” Wanda said, showing Loki the little crying bundle in her arms.  Loki looked down at Riley and rolled his eyes.  “Your parents like making new Midgardians, don’t they?”

She giggled and nodded. “I got so many brothers and sisters,” she said.

“I thought having one brother was too many,” Loki said, making her break down into hysterical laughter.

He moved in closer to Billy and caressed a finger down his cheek.  “Oh, I know.  It’s a big scary universe and you’re just learning how big and scary it can be.”

He raised an eyebrow and looked up at Wanda.  “He’s full of magic.  Do you feel that?”

She smiled and nodded.  “I can.  I might need your help teaching him.”

The corner of Loki’s lips twitched up for a moment and he tickled Billy’s tummy. “Well, little one, it sounds like we will be working together.  That will be fun won’t it?”

Loki was there when Tommy was born.  We had so many kids by that point that even with the nannies, we wanted to have a backup on delivery day.  She came down while Natasha was sleeping and was the first person who was not a part of the polycule.  She sat for so long just gazing down into Tommy’s eyes, and when Tommy’s tiny little hand closed around her finger, for a split second I was sure I saw her eyes prick with tears.

When we decided to have Mar, I think Loki thought we were all done.  He came to see us when Mar was just a few weeks old.  Looking back on it now, I wonder if Loki could sense something in them even back then.  Loki never referred to Mar as a girl or used the pronouns she or her.  It was always child and they/them.  Maybe there was something deep in Loki’s magic and identity that like recognized like.  Or maybe that’s just how Loki addressed all the children and I just didn’t notice with the others.  Either way, he was smitten once again, and once again, he had a nibbling that adored him.

Thor poured Loki a glass of wine and offered it to him.  “It is a rare day when we are both off.”

“It has been a while,” Loki agreed, waving away the glass.  I could see why.  His hands were full and there was no way he’d put down one of the children before they were ready.  “But do not think I plan to spend the day reminiscing with you about the good old days.”

“I would never dare,” Thor joked.

“God, how is it that all our children just adore you?” I asked as I watched the twins both start to settle and lay in against their uncle, looking like they were about to fall asleep.

“They do have good taste,” he said.

“So people that like you have good taste?” I asked.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Nice try, Elise,” he teased. “But I said that people that adore me have good taste.  Do you adore me, Elise?  Are you completely infatuated with me?”

I started giggling.  “Maybe?”

“Oh, do you hear that brother?  Your dear wife is completely smitten.  How hard it will be for me not to steal her away from you,” he teased.

Thor laughed loudly.  “That will be a shame.  But - at least she will be staying within the family.”

I lost it completely, leaning into Thor as I hid my face.  “Oh no, she seeks comfort in my brother for I have scorned her.  A tale worthy of the ages,” Loki teased, making me laugh even louder, my sides hurting.

“Do not worry, brother.  As soon as I bed her, I’ll have her forgetting all about you,” Thor joked.

Loki grimaced and shook his head. “I did not need to hear that,” Loki said.  “Be away with you both.”

“Hey! We were here first!” I argued.

“Yes, but I am currently covered in small sleeping children and you are not,” he said. “So you’ll need to leave.”

We didn’t move, obviously assuming it was part of the joke but Loki waved us away.  “I mean it.  I have these two.  I’ll bring them back when they wake.  Go and bed your wife.”

Thor titled his head.  “Are you sure?  We don’t mind keeping you company.”

He shook his head. “You know how I feel about company.  Go.  I’ll bring them back to you when they wake.”

I leaned over and kissed both Nova and Thour on the forehead.  “Thank you, Loki.”

“You can owe me a favor,” he teased.

“Oh gods,” I laughed as I stood with Thor, making Loki laugh as well.

I collected up Sanguine as Thor picked up Mjolnir and the two of us headed back into the palace.

“It feels a little strange to bed you at the whim of my brother,” Thor said as we strolled back to our living quarters.

“Is that going to stop you from doing it?” I asked, looking up at him.

“Oh norns, no,” he said. “We should take advantage of the moment while we have it.”

I laughed and leaned up and kissed him, and he took the opportunity to scoop me up into his arms.  I squealed and laughed as he carried me straight to our bedroom, climbing the stairs to our oversized bed and laying me down on the mattress.  Thor started to slowly undress as he looked down at me, pulling on different drawstrings and unclasping buckles.  I simply pulled on one tie and my gown fell open, the fabric spilling out around me.

He licked his lips as he threw his tunic aside, exposing his muscular chest.  I met his eyes and slowly ran my palm down my body and between my legs, fingering my clit as I looked up at him.  “Mmm that’s it, my life,” he purred. “Just like that.  Show me how you pleasure yourself.”

I moaned and my head dropped back as I focused on the warm tingle that was slowly spreading through me from my cunt.  “Look at me, my queen.”

I opened my eyes.  He stood above me, watching me through darkened eyes.  He opened his pants and pushed them down.  His cock sprung up, thick and hard, pressing straight up against his belly.  He wrapped his hand around his shaft and slowly started pumping it.  A bead of precome formed on the head and I licked my lips, picturing how it must taste.

He sank to his knees and crawled up over me.  I spread my legs, welcoming him between them, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him down into a kiss.

He slid the head of his cock up and down my slit.  It pulsed against my clit sending shivers through time, and I arched my back, trying to angle my hips so he’d push into me.

Thor was in no hurry. If the tip of his cock caught at my entrance he would pull back and slide past it, teasing my clit once more.  I whined needing, squirming under him.

He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine.  “My poor needy lover. Am I taking too long?”

“Yes,” I whined.  “I want you inside me.”

He changed the angle of his hips and with one smooth stroke, he entered me. I moaned as my cunt stretched to take him, and I lifted my knees so he could go as deep as possible.

He didn’t give me time to adjust but he also didn’t rush things.  Each roll of his hips was slow and measured, so his cock dragged down the ridges of my cunt, and the base rubbed against my clit.  I kept trying to angle my hips so he would hit my g-spot, but he was just too big, it brushed past it, which sent shivers through me and was punctuated with a sting as he hit my cervix.

I wrapped myself around him and raked my nails down his back.  I couldn’t get enough of him.  I wanted him to touch all of me.  For our bodies to meld together.  I pulled him into another kiss.  It was deep and slow, matching the pace of Thor’s hips.  We were making love, even with the sting with each thrust, it was love-making at its best.

Pleasure spread through me like an electric current, making my skin prickle and my hair stand on end.  It felt like the current was passing between us, merging us into one.

I rolled my hips to meet his, arching my back, and moaning into his lips.  My orgasm built, coiling through me like a snake, starting at my toes and winding right up to the top of my head.  It tightened all at once and I seized up under him as my orgasm came crashing through me.

Thor continued to thrust, fucking me through my orgasm, and when his hit, he shoved in deep and pulled back, roaring as he released inside me.

He rolled, pulling me on top of him so he could stay inside me longer.  “How long do you think we have?” I asked.

He smiled up at me and ran his fingers through my hair.  “I think he will give us just exactly as much time as we need. And then he’ll come in and make it seem as if he hated every second of it and that we owe him.”

I chuckled. “I mean, we kind of do.”

Thor laughed with me and rested his forehead against mine.  “Don’t let him know we know,” he whispered and we both collapsed, laughing together.

~ END ~

[gumnut-logic]

Along the way (Part One)

Sweetapple | Dear Mr Tracy | Along the way - Part 1

Okay, I had all the plans and research done to write some more Kermadec fic, but I received so many kind words regarding Alexander Sweetapple today, that I cracked and started writing Fic Three of his story (which was planned in the middle of Fic Two). And considering today, I was happy to write ANYTHING.

Thank you so much for everyone’s support regarding Alex. I am totally stunned how many people have said so many positive things about my bumbling, starry-eyed fanboy engineer. ::hugs you all so tight::

This fic is all your fault, but particularly the wonderful @onereyofstarlight​ who continues to support me in my forays into Aotearoa in multiple ways. I may be a fan of her and that country :D And also to @flyboytracy​ who started all this with their ask. I hope noone is regretting that :D

Warnings: this fic is likely to meander into m/m, if not entirely, it is at least discussed, so if that is not your thing, turn back now ::hugs::

This bit is full of brotherly ribbing and fatherly musings.

I hope you enjoy.

-o-o-o-

“So, you and Alex?”  

“Me and Alex, what?”

Virgil continued to roll up the long electrical cable that had served to connect Thunderbird Two’s generator systems to the ski lift’s safety mechanisms

Since the ski lift was now mostly in a ravine, thankfully minus the three families Virgil and Gordon had snatched from it, it was no longer needed.

Cold wind blew up the escarpment and despite the insulation of his uniform, Virgil shivered.

Gordon, as usual, was a spot of warmth off to his right stowing Virgil’s toolkit. Hopefully in order.

“Well, you guys do seem to have hit it off.”

Virgil concentrated fully on his task using far more neurons than necessary. “In what way?”

“You know…when boy meets boy…”

“Your point?”

“Hey, I’m just happy to see you happy.”

Virgil grunted. “Alexander Sweetapple is an employee of Tracy Industries.”

“So?”

He straightened and cracked his back. “Gords, Alex is a friend. A good friend. Nothing more.”

Gordon stopped what he was doing and stared at his brother. You do know that Alex is gay, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Make a move.”

“Why?”

Gordon groaned and flopped dramatically over the stowed toolbox. “Oh, I don’t know.” He waved a hand towards the aether. “Because he’s smart? Because he wants to save the world just like you do? Because he has a crush on you big enough to sink the Titanic? Because he makes you smile?” Gordon sighed. “Pick one.”

Virgil turned away. “I will not take advantage of an employee.”

“Oh god.” Gordon ran his hand through his hair, only to have the wind mess it up a second later. “You have the love life of a monk, Virg. He’s a nice guy, ask him out.”

Virgil didn’t answer, his eyes still focussed on the yellow cable that he was rolling up. Alex was a nice guy, in every sense. He did make Virgil smile. He had lost count of how many times in the last six months the man had dropped something in front of him in surprise. Virgil had become an expert at the quick catch. But beyond that, they definitely clicked in the lab. The man was an inspiration, his mind capturing a situation and finding the most original solutions, fast and intuitively.

A hand landed on his shoulder. “Virg, he makes you happy. Happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.”

“We’re friends.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Gordon opened his mouth to say more, but then closed it. There was something in his eyes as he looked at Virgil.

A squeeze of his shoulder and Gordon was hugging him. “Whatever works, bro.”

Then Gordon was off, packing up the pod he had deployed earlier, leaving Virgil to stare at the long line of yellow cord still winding up on its spool.

Whatever works.

-o-o-o-

 Jeff strode into Thunderbird Two’s hangar as the great machine glided to a stop atop its massive turntable and began its slow spin.

As ever, he was impressed with his sons’ capabilities in the huge vehicles. Scott wore One like a second skin, even more closely than Jeff had ever adopted a machine. That was definitely a case of the son exceeding the father.

With Virgil it was similar, but different. Where Scott was part of his machine, Virgil used Thunderbird Two as gracefully as he used any tool. Elegant, strong and ever reminding him of his beloved Lucille.

Paintbrush, technical equation, even the family car - they had all been tools and a means to an end for his wife. She created what she needed out of the tools around her.

As did her son.

He shook himself and tapped his cane on the concrete beneath his feet.

Focus.

He had a tendency to drift back into his mind and visualise what he wanted to see. Long term habit to add colour to a monochrome world.

Thunderbird Two’s engines whined slowly down to silence, heat dissipating in a haze into the venting systems of the hangar. He could almost count the time required for post-flight. With Gordon on board, there would be professionalism laced with the occasional ribbing.

He smiled to himself. His little fish had grown into an amazing young man. Jeff’s heart hurt at the thought of the challenges Gordon had had to tackle in his relatively short life, but his spark had not been dimmed. Watching him with Virgil, stirring his quieter older brother, provoking smiles and commentary.

His sons were so tightly knit together.

The germ of selfishness deep in his soul worried how he was ever going to fit back into his family puzzle. But he had been welcomed home, wrapped in his boys and, honestly? He could not believe his luck.

Two’s forward hatch lowered with his two boys bickering about something. Looked like Gordon had a bee in his bonnet and wanted to make honey with his big brother - who was refusing adamantly.

“Gordon, I’m not going to give him one of your pet fish.”

“Why not? Could be an ice breaker.”

“There’s no ice!”

The two men strode towards Jeff, both intent on the other. Virgil’s glare was nuclear.

Yeah, definitely stirring his older brother.

“Boys?”

They both startled, almost shooting to attention as they realised his presence.

Gordon recovered first “Uh, hi, Dad.” He waved a hand in his father’s direction. “Hey, maybe you can convince Virg.”

Uh, oh.

“Gordon!” Virgil’s voice echoed around the cavern.

“Hey, I’m not the only one worried about your love life.”

“What?” Virgil’s eyes darted between Gordon and Jeff. “This is not up for discussion.”

Jeff frowned. Sounded like this was going a little far…

“I’m taking a shower.” Virgil eyed his father and waved an apologetic hand in his direction before stalking off towards the locker rooms.

Jeff stared after him for a solid moment, aware of the frustration bouncing on his feet beside him.

“What did you do, Gordon?”

“Nothing! I just suggested he ask Alex out.”

“Alex?”

“You know the engineer Virg has been ���seeing’ at Māhia.”

“I thought they were just friends.”

“They are.” Gordon bit his lip and looked briefly off into the distance after his brother. “I don’t know, Dad. Scott, Virg and John, they don’t have anyone, you know?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I just want them to be happy.”

Jeff stared at Gordon. He had been surprised when he and Penelope were revealed to be a couple. But he had been even more surprised to find that none of his eldest sons had formed attachments, much less gifted him grandkids.

It was understandable considering their careers over the last eight years. Living on an isolated island didn’t help and, in John’s case, space wasn’t providing much in that direction either.

And yes, Jeff had no doubt that it was his fault. It had been him who put his boys on their current path, after all.

But at the time it had seemed the right thing to do. Scott had lost everything; he needed a goal. And Lucy, dear Lucy, there had been so many other mothers and sons and daughters and fathers out there who needed help.

He still remembered the fire lighting up in Scott’s eyes.

And the fear in Virgil’s.

Yes, it was his fault.

He cleared his throat. “Do you think Alex is interested?”

Gordon stared at him as if he had a third eye. “Have you seen how the guy falls all over Virg?”

Honestly, Jeff had thought the man had a nervous condition.

But it appeared Gordon didn’t need an answer, starting out on a rant that had obviously been building for some time.

“He has stars in his eyes for Virgil, Dad. Which isn’t unusual, I admit. But what is usual is that Virgil is clueless. Alex is a great guy. He’s smart and the two of them get on like a house on fire. You should see them together! Heads down, butts up, working the engineering stuff. I might as well not be there. In fact, I’ve left the room in the past and come back hours later and they haven’t noticed.” Gordon dropped his hands pleading at his father. “Do you know how often Virg has been to Māhia lately?”

Jeff blinked. “I haven’t been keeping count. Your brother’s business is his business.”

Gordon groaned. “Dad, twice last week I launched Two and had to pick him up on the way.”

A frown. “If you think your brother’s activities are impacting on International Rescue-“

“No, no, no, no, no! Dad, the guy needs a life, I get it. I want him to have one. One beyond what little camaraderie he can find online, beyond family, beyond International Rescue. It is great to see him having fun. But he should take the next step. He needs the next step!”

Jeff opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off in mid thought by another son.

“International Rescue, we have a situation.”

The reflex was automatic. Not a word was said. Gordon hurried ahead while Jeff made his slower way across the concrete floor to the elevator.

Entering the lounge, the scene was as he expected. Four sons staring somewhat religiously up at their fifth, projected from orbit.

Scott was in his uniform, having only returned shortly before Virgil and Gordon. Virgil was in a towel, his hair dripping wet. Apparently, he had meant it regarding the shower.

Gordon stepped up beside his older brother, a smirk on his face.

Virgil didn’t bother to even acknowledge him.

As Jeff joined the circle, Alan shifted towards him. His youngest was still wearing his green tee and shorts. There had been no space missions as yet today.

“Gisborne appears to have taken the brunt of the earthquake. Scans are telling me there are several collapsed buildings. However, surrounding towns, including Tracy Industries’ Māhia Complex have been affected. Director Thompson is requesting assistance.”

Jeff glanced at Virgil, as did Gordon, but there was nothing but professionalism on his face

Scott turned to his team. Because his brothers were his team. “Virgil, Gordon and Alan. Take Two to Gisborne. John, liaise with Gisborne emergency services. I’ll take One to Māhia.”

A mutter of FABs and his sons were moving.

A flush of pride washed over him, but as Virgil turned his back to his chute, Jeff caught the expression on his son’s face.

And his heart sank.

-o-o-o-

Next

[serafiel-jacobs]

Nightmare (FANFIC)

A new chapter of my Lies of p Fanfic series (´ ω `♡)

The thunderstorm raged outside, it was unrelenting, late at night, Pinocchio laid in his bed, trying to sleep, now that he could sleep, it came easy to him, when he was tired he just had to close his eyes and naturally he would fall into slumber.

But today the thunders outside made it hard for him to fall asleep, it was a big storm, and there was news about it that warned people to stay inside their houses, a strike on the ground after another, like roaring in the skies.

“I just need to calm down, and try to rest,” he thought to himself. Eventually, Pinocchio fell asleep, but soon after, he would stir in his sleep.

——

A thunder strike directed at him.

Another and another.

Laxasia was unrelenting with her attacks.

Pinocchio did his best to block or dodge them, he was lucky to parry and send some back at her.

The bridge was electrified and with each wrong step, his body would feel electricity, the pain was unbearable, but he had to keep going, he had to push away the pain, if he didn’t he would die.

Finally, Pinocchio laid one last attack at Laxasia, ending the battle with a final blow.

Killing her.

He killed her.

Like he killed the black rabbit brotherhood. He remembers their first encounter when he murdered one of the brothers, how they mourned for him, they retreated, they were devastated.

On their second encounter, they were out for revenge, fierce attacks from all directions, and when another sibling died, he could sense the rage of the others, but he also felt their sadness, their profound sadness.

Pinocchio murdered an entire family.

His hands are covered in blood, he sees the blood on his hands, it's been there for a long time. Since he killed the alchemist with the donkey mask, his hands and clothes were covered with his blood.

He doesn’t understand, why is he feeling this now. But Pinocchio didn’t know that deep down he had been suppressing those feelings, for the longest time, Pinocchio was in survival mode, he did not question what he had done, he was being attacked, by them, by the puppets, by the monsters, by everything left and right.

It was easy to shove those thoughts into the back of his mind, to forget it all happened, everything was fine, no more danger, everyone he loved was safe. But now that the imminent danger was gone, he had time, time to reflect on his actions. He couldn't help but wonder the what if, what if he had done things differently, what if he knew what he knew now?

Could he have really prevented those deaths?

They were attacking him, had he not struck back, he would certainly die.

So why?

Why did it feel so wrong?

“BROTHER! You bastard, you killed him, you’ll pay for this!” The voice of the sister of one of the members echoed in his mind.

The body of Laxasia lay on the ground, the bodies of the brotherhood now laid there as well, the mad donkey, the robber weasel, even the body of Simon, although it lay there not in his transformed form, but rather as when he first met him, as a normal human.

The pile of bodies around him had their eyes open, their mouths dripping blood from them, the blood came coming and coming. He took a step back.

*Splash*

He looked at the floor, now wet with blood, mixed with the rain of the thunderstorm, even after Laxasia was gone, thunder could still be heard, but he couldn’t see it anymore, he only saw that the blood was rising, and rising.

And he was no longer on that bridge, he was in a room sealed shut, and the blood was now up to his knees, he looked around the walls of the room, there was no door, no escape but in the wall in front of him, tied to it, unable to move, was Arlecchino, the king of riddles.

He laughed, that sick sadistic laugh he would always do. The blood just kept going up, now to Pinocchio’s chest. Arlecchino opened his mouth to talk, his raspy voice echoed in the room.

"Is Geppetto's creation a killer? CONFESS!"

He is.

He is a killer he killed all of them.

The blood was now up to his neck.

Pinocchio was trapped.

The blood was up to his chin.

He struggled, it was useless. He wanted to scream, but he couldn’t scream, he wanted to beg for help.

The blood was up to his nose.

——

Geppetto was woken up by screams. Pinocchio was screaming, he quickly got up and rushed out of his room to get to his son.

He opened the door to his room, Pinocchio was on the floor, on his knees, holding his hands on his head. He was crying, Pinocchio had cried before but before, just a few tears would form and fall on his cheeks. But Pinocchio was sobbing on the floor, he was hyperventilating, gasping desperately for air, his crying getting louder.

“Pinocchio? Pinocchio what’s wrong?! Tell me what’s wrong?!” Both Geppetto and Gemini said in unison.

They were both worried, Gemini feeling helpless, he wanted to be by his side, to console him, but he couldn’t get closer to him.

Geppetto rushed to his side on the floor, kneeling next to him.

“Are you hurt? Pinocchio please try to calm down”

But he couldn’t calm down. He couldn’t talk, the words couldn’t come out of his mouth.

He grabbed his father and hugged him tightly, burying his face in his father’s chest, he kept sobbing, Geppetto’s shirt was now wet from all the crying.

It was Gemini who had realized first what was wrong.

“Pinocchio, did you have a nightmare?”

A nightmare, it all made sense for Geppetto now, why he was so scared, he just had been able to sleep, he never had a nightmare before, he probably didn’t even understand what happened.

“Pinocchio it’s okay it was all a nightmare, whatever you saw it wasn’t real” Geppetto tried to comfort his son.

But Pinocchio was inconsolable.

“No…it’s true…it was real, I’m…I’m a bad boy, I’m terrible!” Pinocchio shouted.

“What? No son, what are you talking about?” Geppetto was confused now, why was his son saying those things?

Pinocchio sobbed more, in between gasps he managed to get more words out.

“I killed them” Murderer, he was a murderer. “I killed those alchemists, and the black rabbit brotherhood, Laxasia…” He gasped for air, “I’m horrible! I killed them all! I’m bad!”

Gemini spoke up “Pinocchio they were all trying to kill you first, it was self-defense”

It no longer felt like self-defense. It weighed heavily on his conscience.

“It doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter what it was, I killed them and I feel awful! I feel, I feel… I feel disgusting!”

Geppetto held his son, he knew that at this moment, nothing he could say would make his son feel better, that he just needed to let his feelings out. So he held him, comforting him in the best way he could.

“Shh… it’s okay, there, there”

Pinocchio cried in his father’s arms, eventually tiring himself, until he fell asleep again.

——-

Pinocchio woke up and there was a pounding pain in his head, he felt so tired, he had bags under his eyes, his eyes were red.

“Ah son, you’re awake”

Geppetto was on the small couch next to him, he must have stayed awake all night beside him.

“How are you feeling buddy?” Gemini asked, he could rest at night as well.

“Not…that bad but not better” Pinocchio was honest, even if a part of him wanted to lie to not worry them.

“Son, do you want to talk about it?”

Yes? No? He didn’t even understand. He knew he would be told it was self-defense, he understood that, logically, it was self-defense. But that didn’t stop his feelings, it felt wrong for him to kill others.

“I don’t”

“I see…” Geppetto had to choose his words carefully, he knew what was wrong now because it didn’t matter if it was self-defense, Pinocchio felt bad about killing them, that was, actually a good thing. His son was a good boy, because no matter the circumstances, killing somebody is something that sticks with someone, it’s traumatic.

Pinocchio was traumatized.

Trauma is something you just can´t get over, it is something that sticks with you forever, and he felt bad that his son was unfortunately having to deal with it.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you shouldn’t shove those feelings aside, it will only end up hurting you more”.

Pinocchio was sitting down on the bed now, he grabbed his legs and lay in a fetal position, he felt everything was too much.

“Hey, why don’t you write about it? Maybe that’ll help you feel better” Gemini said, it was the only thing he could think of. “Maybe if you write about your feelings, it could make you feel better? It’s better than nothing”

Pinocchio held up his head, he liked that idea. Even saying how he felt out loud made him feel worse, but they were right, ignoring his feelings was making everything worse.

“You can try it out son, and if you need anything, come to me for help”.

——

For the next few days, Pinocchio wouldn’t leave his father’s side, he followed him around like a lost puppy, he suddenly would hug him, and Geppetto would hug him back, anything for his precious son.

Gemini did his best to cheer him up too, even if it was just a faint smile, it was good enough for him.

Pinocchio got a diary of his own, a beautiful notebook made with a leather covering. At first, he didn’t exactly know what to write, it felt awkward, but he wrote a few things first.

Then he wrote more, and eventually, it came naturally for him to write his feelings down, it did make him feel better, those were his own thoughts and feelings given form, he reread them sometimes, it felt cathartic. It was something only he could understand, something just for himself.

He began to write about other things, about how his body made him feel, about his unique situation, afterwards, he began to write about things in his daily life, when he went to the hotel, visiting Eugénie or Venigni. It wasn’t just his negative feelings that he wrote about, it was the good as well.

He kept the diary hidden behind two books in his room that had identical covers, he wanted to trust that his father wouldn’t read it, but he worried that if he ever felt as bad as before he might try to check it out, and to be honest sometimes his father was really noisy about his life, although obviously he would never tell him that.

Gemini knew where the diary was as he had seen Pinocchio put him in said place, Gemini never left his side after all, when he first realized that Gemini knew where it was, he got mad.

“Pinocchio how am I going to read your diary? I literally need you to move around, you think I’m gonna teleport and magically take it out of the bookshelf?”

Oh yeah right.

“Okay, but you don’t have to be so sarcastic about it!” Pinocchio angrily replied.

And so life went on.

More time passed, and one day while reading the news Geppetto read the headline: “Next week, the anniversary of the disaster in Krat”. Had it really been almost a year already? That means it also has been a year since Pinocchio had awoken.

“Mmm,” Geppetto thought.

“I should throw him a birthday party”

[roman-catholic-mass-readings]

13thJanuary >> Mass Readings (GB)

Monday, First Week in Ordinary Time 

or

Saint Hilary, Bishop, Doctor.

Monday, First Week in Ordinary Time 

 

(Liturgical Colour: Green. Year: C(I))

First Reading Hebrews 1:1-6 ‘God has spoken to us by his Son.’

Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs. For to which of the angels did God ever say, ‘You are my Son, today I have begotten you’? Or again, ‘I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son’? And again, when he brings the firstborn into the world, he says, ‘Let all God’s angels worship him.’

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 97(96):1, 2b. 6, 7c. 9. ℟ cf. 7c

R/ All his angels, worship God.

The LORD is king, let earth rejoice; let the many islands be glad. Justice and right are the foundation of his throne.

R/ All his angels, worship God.

The skies proclaim his justice; all peoples see his glory. All you angels, worship him.

R/ All his angels, worship God.

For you indeed are the LORD, most high above all the earth, exalted far above all gods.

R/ All his angels, worship God.

Gospel Acclamation Mark 1:15

Alleluia, alleluia. The kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel. Alleluia.

Gospel Mark 1:14-20 ‘Repent and believe in the gospel.’

After John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.’ Passing alongside the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew the brother of Simon casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, ‘Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men.’ And immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on a little farther, he saw James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, who were in their boat mending the nets. And immediately he called them, and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired servants and followed him.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

-------------------------------

Saint Hilary, Bishop, Doctor 

(Liturgical Colour: White. Year: C(I))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Monday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

First Reading 1 John 2:18-25 ‘Whoever confesses the Son has the Father also.’

Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us. But you have been anointed by the Holy One, and you all have knowledge. I write to you, not because you do not know the truth, but because you know it, and because no lie is of the truth. Who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son. No one who denies the Son has the Father. Whoever confesses the Son has the Father also. Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father. And this is the promise that he made to us — eternal life.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 110(109):1. 2. 3. 4. ℟4bc

R/ You are a priest for ever, according to the order of Melchizedek.

The LORD’s revelation to my lord: ‘Sit at my right hand, until I make your foes your footstool.’

R/ You are a priest for ever, according to the order of Melchizedek.

The LORD will send from Sion your sceptre of power: rule in the midst of your foes.

R/ You are a priest for ever, according to the order of Melchizedek.

With you is princely rule on the day of your power. In holy splendour, from the womb before the dawn, I have begotten you.

R/ You are a priest for ever, according to the order of Melchizedek.

The LORD has sworn an oath he will not change: ‘You are a priest for ever, according to the order of Melchizedek.’

R/ You are a priest for ever, according to the order of Melchizedek.

Gospel Acclamation Matthew 5:16

Alleluia, alleluia! Your light must shine in the sight of men, so that, seeing your good works, they may give the praise to your Father in heaven. Alleluia!

Gospel Matthew 5:13-19 ‘You are the light of the world.’

At that time: Jesus said to his disciples, ‘You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people’s feet. ‘You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. ‘Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfil them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass from the Law until all is accomplished. Therefore whoever relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.’

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

[everyothernamistaken]

so yeha

shitfest is over but like i still have to go to this one girls house to make plates for breakfast idk why but we have to so yeah i get to go to pizza party, also durring last day of shit fest very interesting i driving down road anf drive past ass slapping picknek competition, they offered me soda i said no thrn i go inside, they make us listen to speaches, ex girl friend gives some weird ass speach then grabs another girl and kisses her and then i realised i was dating a lesbian she didnt tell me but then like 2 hours later she was talking to her boyfriend and i was like what the fuck but back to the speaches so like the girl i kicked in the face do basiclg we all had to hold hands but like she gtabbed my hands then in her speach she thanked me idk what for i havent done anything for her but bloody her nose. After show end all the people involved were supised to go on stage but i didnt get the announcment becaude i was in the box so i was in the audience with my father when they were giving away like recognizions but i didnt think they would call me so i was chilling in the crowd with my dad, they fucking called me so i ran to the stage, knocked a woman over infront of like 500 people, and they were chearing my name while this was happenint and then becaude my dad didnt come up i didnt take a phoyo with him instead i got a photo with the shitty director guy ive been bad mouthing for a week and then i got put on stage next to my ex's family but its ok because im chill with all of them minus their daughter i went skiing with her brothers we chill minus her brother throwing his skiis, but i was like shellshocked from being in the box and then being in the bright so i have like the 20000 yard stare in the photo which my mother made fun of so i cried, but after fotos i went to chillis with face kick girl and her friend who is also my friend and her boyfriend who is probably a woman idk its not my buisness, so i asked for no ketchup on my burger but they put ketchup, i did not complain because the chef was my firends brother and i was at chillis with her, i saw some weird shit at chillis i saw my ex and the leperchaun she kissed eat like 10 corn cobs which was kinda wierd but then i left and face kick girl kept honking her horn at me like multiple loops in parking lot but theb i went home af like 2 am abd slept, then it was sunday and i slept some more, ive been chilin now but my school has givien a new rule which has givien a few unimportant teachers power trips and its so goofy because half the teachers dont care and half the teachers are the new gestapo, half my firends get detention for walking to a class to print our papers, other half for eating lunch in the quiet cafeteria, i dont get detention because i just push people out of the way and scream at them so i am not late, i may get beaten up though as ghetto kids dont like to be wrong but they do it so well. But today good day i got to work on my boat for a bit then i go home and make bowl becaude weather is nice outside soon i will fire bowl, then mother say we must go to store to aquire alergie medicien so you do not cri when spring, we go to store i see cute bunny stuffed animal i convince mother to purchase i now have cool bunny for easter i am happy i get one for sister too but i keep the cuter one for me.

Also i got lost twice today while driving it was not fun, also i was in class and my partner on a assignment wanted me to go on a adventure to some fuckoff classroom way faroff to measure a foot as that was rhe assignment but i just ghosted her to go interupt my math teachers class by measuring my friend in his classes fokt with my friends whi aldo wanted to do this, then i saw some guys pants fall down and i thought to my self, damn mfs cant get belts in this economy, didnt say anything tho becayse the guy had crackhead eyes like no thoughts behind them but violence and super dialated pupils it wad kinda creepy

I think i should see if my friends want to go on an adventure soon like apparebyly were gpnna make a mc server but that is kinda borring we dont havr the atention span for that like im the lasg one it was like a week and all i did was kill face kick girls dog and wage indiscriminant terrorism against my friends , this was like a year ago i was supoised to play mc with face kick but like i forgor to get her number so i couldnt like yknow, figure out when we were playing. Im so smart