#my brother in christ we will love you not in spite of your flaws but because of them

[creepycrawliesanonymous]

“I’m heading back, Richie. Do not try to stop me.”

Not even sparing him a glance, you passed by the cash register and swiftly made your way to your boyfriend’s office. You could tell something was bothering him this morning, you had a sense for these kinds of things. He still made breakfast for you both, still laid out his schedule for the day (“work, al-anon, call Jimmy, stop picking at your eggs, okay? I love you but you’re gonna give me a fucking aneurysm.”), still kissed your cheek before heading out the door. Something still prickled in the back of your mind, left you uneasy.

Never one to stew in negative thoughts, stopping in at The Beef to confront your hunch head on seemed like the best course of action. You took the liberty of giving yourself a long lunch break, and left work in the middle of the day to seek out your boyfriend in whatever back office or stove top he was currently hiding in.

“Like I would even try. Your boy has been bitching up a storm ever since he got here. Handle him before I kick him out.”

“As if you would be able to.”

Carmen was not out in the kitchen area, the door to his office was closed, prompting you to make a beeline towards the back. (Well, almost a beeline. Sydney asked you to taste test a new recipe she was working on and you’ve never turned her down before, and you would not start turning her down today.)

You gave Carmen a couple knocks to let him know you were outside, a small grunt signaling for you to come in. On his desk was a pile of papers, something sales or marketing related, but from the way he was staring them down you would think that they had somehow killed his dog. You shut the door behind you, leaning your hip against a filing cabinet next to his desk.

“What do you need?”

You raised your eyebrows at him. What did you need? You didn’t need anything. You needed to know that he was okay. That’s what you needed.

“You seemed off this morning.”

“Off?”

“It’s like a tingling in the back of my spine. I know when something’s bothering you.”

“Nothing’s bothering me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Give me a minute, I’ll fix you something.”

He turned his eyes back down to his papers, picking up a pen beside him, but not actually writing anything. You reached over and took the pen from him.

“You’re lying to me.”

“Wh–give me my pen back!” He looked at you incredulously.

“You can have it back when you tell me what’s going on with you.”

There was a pause between the both of you, neither of you breaking eye contact.

“Am I… fuck, I don’t like doing this.”

“I’m here. My boss is not getting me back until you’re good.”

That got a small grin out of him, the tiniest curling of the corners of his mouth. You reach out for his hand, and he takes it, giving himself something to look at other than his desk.

“Am I… just, sometimes I feel like I'm not... what is best for you."

For once you had no response. Carmy looked like he was about to vomit, still not looking at you. He gave a small shrug, taking his hand out from under yours to run his hands over his face. Willing your hands not to shake, you reached out and ghosted your fingers over his forearms, a silent plea for him to look at you.

"Is this... are you breaking up with me?"

"No, babe, never." He finally looked you in the face. "I can't do that."

"Then what the fuck are you trying to say?"

"It's an acknowledgement of the fucking obvious, is what it is." His hand came up and rubbed at his cheek, clearly making a concerted effort to maintain eye contact. "I'm- I'm angry, I yell too much, even at people I like, I'm obsessive, I'm bossy, I mean look at this shit. Look at where I am now, compared to where I was. Look at me and honestly tell me that I am good for you."

"You are good for me."

Finally breaking eye contact, he put his head in his hands.

"You list all these things and-"

"They're true."

"You act like I don't already know this."

He huffed out a chuckle despite himself.

"I know all these things. I still want to be with you." You took his face in your hands and turned it to face you. "I see you and I still want to be with you."

"Huh." An Oscar-worthy single tear rolled down his cheek, and you caught it before it could turn down to the corner of his mouth. He leaned over and kissed you on your clothed stomach, before standing up and giving you a proper kiss. It said understood, boss. "I'll make you something to eat."

[can-of-w0rmz]

One of the things that piss me off the absolute most about popular academic Frankenstein analysis is the “Victor Frankenstein is sexist” take. Like I know I’ve spoken about this quite a lot before but god damn it’s like people just look at the text and see, “(I) looked upon Elizabeth as mine—mine to protect, love, and cherish. All praises bestowed on her I received as made to a possession of my own.”, and they just immediately go, “Oh! Oh! Sexism! Misogyny! Victor Frankenstein is a sexist! Why does he want to create the perfect man, huh? *gasp* is it because he thinks women are inferior?”

When if those people pulled their heads out of their asses for five minutes and read the rest of that paragraph, “On the evening previous to her being brought to my home, my mother had said playfully, “I have a pretty present for my Victor—tomorrow he shall have it.” And when, on the morrow, she presented Elizabeth to me as her promised gift, I, with childish seriousness, interpreted her words literally and looked upon Elizabeth as mine (…)” along with the fact that Victor explicitly says he was “about five years old”, they’d maybe consider, “huh, maybe it’s very fucked up of a mother to give her to her son as a gift and spent her entire life basically shipping these two adopted siblings together until, on her death bed, she says, “my firmest hopes of future happiness were placed on the prospect of your union. This expectation will now be the consolation of your father.” Wow, maybe that’s kind of fucked up. Maybe painting, again, a five year old, who was honesty for all intents and purposes pretty much just manipulated into thinking it was his duty to marry his adopted sister out of respect for his dead mother’s last wishes who died when he was seventeen, as a wife-beating woman hater who reanimated the dead to spite half the human population, is very very fucked up!”

Like I can’t stress this enough – both Elizabeth and Victor are victims here. Of course as the story goes on a bit and Victor is a grown adult man who’s still avoiding his feelings and fucking off across the continent with his buddy pal best friend every five minutes instead of facing his mistakes and emotions, yeah, he is honestly more or less to blame for Elizabeth’s death, but that isn’t misogyny. Avoidance of everything is like one of his integral character flaws.

And I mean if you thought the 1831 republication had some creepy undertones, look at the bloody original 1818 version.

“(My uncle) request(ed) my father (…) take charge of the infant Elizabeth, the only child of his deceased sister. “It is my wish,” he said, “that you should consider her as your own daughter, and educate her thus.”’

So just explicit incest, basically. And again, if you thought Victor��s mother was a bit creepy and pushy in the republication,

“I have often heard my mother say, that she was at that time the most beautiful child she had ever seen, and shewed signs even then of a gentle and affectionate disposition. These indications, and a desire to bind as closely as possible the ties of domestic love, determined my mother to consider Elizabeth as my future wife; a design which she never found reason to repent.”

“………A desire to bind as closely as possible the ties of domestic love?” My brother in Christ you were groomed. Fun fact, I read the 1818 version first and read that in the middle of form class and sat for a good five minutes staring flabbergasted at what the fuck I was reading.

So no, dear God no, nowhere in the text does it imply Victor Frankenstein hates women. I mean honestly it’s kind of shown in the way he talks about the Creature’s Bride that he doesn’t view women as objects and does, in fact, view them as people.

“He had sworn to quit the neighbourhood of man and hide himself in deserts, but she had not; and she, who in all probability was to become a thinking and reasoning animal, might refuse to comply with a compact made before her creation.”

My guy basically says “well what are we expecting her to do here, immediately marry you just because she was told to?”

(Just a fun little comparison I noticed there – not to turn the conversation back to my whole “does Victor is gay” theory but I think it is interesting that Victor thinks that, that he does go “well she can’t just be expected to marry someone just because she was told to!” and then suggests to himself that she would probably rather “turn with disgust from him to the superior beauty of man” – interesting, Victor. Like Clerval’s “form so divinely wrought, and beaming with beauty”? Interesting as well that after Victor comes to that conclusion and destroys the Bride, the Creature immediately then kills Henry and only then does Victor finally go “well. I finally have to marry Elizabeth.” Feeling disheartened by sparing her your predicament only to be thrust even deeper into your own, are we?)

But yeah. “Victor Frankenstein is a full-blown women-hating misogynist” takes really piss me off. Another case of “oooh yes let’s cherry pick the text scouring it for anything we can possibly use to turn things back around to the same few analysis points we’ll reuse over and over instead of possibly considering that just because a text is written by a woman doesn’t mean that it’s a massive rant on the patriarchy disguised as a science fiction novel.”

Maybe that’s kind of sexist itself. Maybe women can just write kick-ass gothic horror sometimes. And maybe just because a work definitely has undertones about sexism and misogyny (like, fair enough, a lot of Elizabeth’s character definitely does) that doesn’t mean that the male protagonist wants to kill all women! And surprise surprise as well, works can comment on misogyny and patriarchy and acknowledge that women are treated badly in society and have been in differing ways for hundreds of years, without going “all men are inherently evil and fuck them all”. Bit of a side rant that I won’t go all into here, but just worth mentioning that after seeing this over and over again in media and analysis of media over and over again, hey, misandry won’t fix misogyny. It just makes everything considerably stupidly worse. –your friendly neighbourhood bisexual

[pineappleparasol]

the river is real, and it’s right in my backyard.

At this moment that I’m beginning to write, I feel all kinds of emotional and conflicted. Lost, heartbroken, tricked, lied to, nostalgic, confused.

I just spent some time listening to old Vineyard worship songs that I grew up with. I’ve had such a spectrum of strange and flawed church experiences, some with more flaws than others (*coughcough*my time at Sovereign Grace*coughcough*), but for some reason, I still love old music from the Vineyard churches, where I grew up from ages 0-11. As I listened to these songs that are forever etched in my memory, some that my mother sang to me in a rocking chair during my infancy - I danced, sang along, and cried simultaneously. The crying was bittersweet. Some of the tears were sweet - from rediscovering a joy and holy connection that I’ve always found when freely worshiping the God I can’t help but still faintly believe in. Some of the tears bitter - from feeling tricked, lied to, abandoned, and conflicted.

Going back to the songs of your youth... One of the finest forms of masochism for the deconstructing Christian.

I found myself thinking, as I cried and listened to a song that spoke quite descriptively about a river of God that brings refreshment, joy, and gladness - “What hurts the most is that some part of me still wants this to be real. I want that river to be real.”

I spent all of my very tender, formative teen years and more (ages 11-21) in a very intense religious institution called Sovereign Grace Ministries, where the status quo was so strong that I was afraid if I fell outside of it in any way, I was somehow impacting my status before God, or proving that I was never actually “saved.” There was such an emphasis on making sure all that you read, heard, and said aligned with sound doctrine and theology - which was basically code for “Believe exactly what we say about our interpretations of the Bible, even what we make up to explain away the gray areas, or you’re astray and in sin.” Worship music was so intensely curated to make sure that there was sufficient emphasis on the cross - especially on the all the blood and hellish torture that Jesus went through because we were guilty vile sinners who were very lucky that a holy God would take pity on such worthless worms as us, even though we deserved his wrath that would “rightfully” send us to hell. We were made to never forget it - God is holy and perfect. We are wretched and vile. We’re forever indebted to him because he chose to save us and show us love, even though we’re disgusting sinners and don’t deserve it. It makes me sad to consider that back in the day, many of the tears I cried in church when I was amazed at God’s love, were not as much about simply rejoicing in being loved, but about being so relieved and grateful that God loved me in spite me not deserving it.

I was told that by believing in those things, I could come before God as his child, and hence partake in fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ, the fellow children of God. All because we had this mutual world built by reformed, calvinist theology tweaked and approved by the powers that be. Even though I was living in a world where I constantly felt worried sick about what a horrible person I was and making sure I was living righteously in a grateful response to all God had done for me - at least I belonged. As long as I gave myself over to that belief system, I belonged somewhere. The awkward, plain-looking chubby girl who grew up with her head in the clouds, pouring over CD liner notes to memorize song lyrics and understand the process of how her favorite bands made their music, daydreaming about Lord of the Rings, rejected by her cheating and lying father, and always struggling to make friends for various reasons... I barely remember a moment in my life where I wasn’t searching for acceptance and belonging. Most of the time, I liked who I was well enough that I wasn’t interested in compromising myself to fit in somewhere. But somewhere down the line after I came to faith on my own in a sincere way, it was between ages 14-16 that I finally gave in to the idea that I could have a whole new world of love, acceptance, and belonging if I molded myself to be more like the Sovereign Grace-approved Christian. Even when the teachings enforced by my church didn’t sit right with me, I felt compelled to suck it up and go along with them, since they seemed to always be right about how to properly honor God. When I was 18 and was of age to become an official member of the church, I felt uneasy about the prospect of having to be interviewed and sign a contract to finalize that process - but still, I did it, because sticking to the status quo would help me belong. As that pastor interviewed me, I answered each question honestly like the good girl that I was, even when he asked me a very specific, hypothetical question where he wondered if I would be willing to call out one of my sisters on her sin if I found her getting drunk (He even went so far as to NAME the specific sister, and not that it matters, but he had absolutely NO reason or evidence of any sort to even come up with such a hypothetical situation for her). In spite of the fact that it bothered me greatly, I was willing to swallow my concerns and sign the contract that said I would promise to believe everything the pastors believed and immediately put myself into a similar church if I ever left the current one. I signed that blasted contract. That threatening, yet powerless thing - just to have the illusion of belonging somewhere.

Almost 10 years after signing that contract, a LOT has changed. Toxic stories and lies about my worth and the worth of others have been slowly undone. I’m learning how to let go of shame and to live my life outside the confines of fear-based teachings that I once built my life around. I’m rebuilding my life and myself to live freely and authentically. But this process is not all running through wide open fields and laying on a bed of roses. This process has involved countless moments of lightbulbs over my head turning on so fast and bright that they shattered, and scratched my hands as I cleaned up the mess. It’s been a process full of grief - of a heartbroken longing for the sense of belonging in a community and total assuredness in a belief system I once had, while also knowing that I cannot go back to those things, because they also endangered me mentally to the point of having hospital-worthy mental breakdowns over the years that rendered me unable to function healthily. I grieve it all. I grieve the sweet things that I lost with the dangerous things.

I can’t go back to the way things were. I can’t go back to a world where I’m fighting despair and fear that all my non-Christian friends will go to a torturous hell when they die because they don’t ascribe to a specific set of religious beliefs. I can’t go back to a world where LGBTQ people are “abominations” who are living against God’s supposed design for humanity, and I feel like I can’t rejoice with them when they find love. The symptoms of living in that particular world were dangerous and unloving.

But then, there’s a still small voice in me that knows, and asks... are all the sweet things truly lost?

Some Christians would have me believe that it’s a consequence of leaving the faith as I once knew it - that I can’t cherry pick my favorite parts and leave the rest behind. But those same Christians have done their fair share of cherry-picking, too. They often picked out judgement and fear while leaving behind love and care for the oppressed. It’s my turn to pick. It’s my turn to reclaim the sweetness. Time to reclaim the music, worship, beauty, love, and spiritual connection and freedom that I once knew.

“What hurts the most is that some part of me still wants this to be real. I want that river to be real.”

Well, I recently found a wide, fast-flowing creek in the woods of Valley Forge National Park. The creek I grew up with in Virginia was actually just a small, dirty drainage ditch that ran threw the neighborhood - so, not actually a creek at all - and for some reason, just because that dry, narrow little drainage ditch goes underground and through many ordeals in order to eventually flow to the ACTUAL Farm Creek (which is far away from public view and only accessible by boat), everyone decided the drainage ditch was a part of Farm Creek too, so that became my lifelong standard for all the other creeks. Just like how you don’t always know what an abusive, toxic church is until you’ve visited one that’s not - just like how you don’t always know you’ve been deceived until someone tells you the truth - well, in some very rare and special cases, you don’t know what a drainage ditch is until you’ve seen a creek. All this time, the dirty drops of water that slowly dribbled over a bed of concrete were good enough to be a creek - but then you found the real thing. Wide, rushing, crystal clear waters that fall with reckless abandon over smooth rocks, flowing off into unique little patterns of steaming and waving, then joining back together and flowing onward, twisting and turning and wooshing into something so clear and beautiful, I want to lean right down and drink from it freely. The sounds of the water drop, lap, rush, and flow like a symphony of fulfillment and freedom - of thirst quenched, of joy rolling forward - on to the river, then to the bay, and finally, into the vast open sea, where there is life - life diverse, and life abundant.

I think, maybe, yes... it’s real. Love is real, and the river is real, and it’s right in my backyard.

[skyofinfinitestars]

“House on a Rock”:  Reflecting on how our personal philosophies are rooted in basic ideas, and how it is possible to change that foundation for God

“How does your positionality bias your epistemology?”

That was the title of the first essay I had to read for class, which I would need to write a response paper to. I probably read this title four times over before thinking “ok. I’m not ready for grad school. Fuck me.”

Thankfully the author of the essay explained what that question meant in English: how does “who you are”, your background and experiences, affect how you view the world?

Basically it was a call for the reader to examine their own biases, and why they hold the assumptions that they do. Ended up making for an easier response essay.

Around this time I was being more active on the sub again and had run into a homophobe. By that I mean someone who thinks “homophobia” isn’t real, and who spends most of his time on Reddit throwing slurs around on the_Donald. Whose entire account seemed to be based around how much he hated queer people.

Scrolling through his account on my phone I felt my entire being tense up. This wasn’t anything new, these people exist all over online and I’d run into a lot of them growing up. Thankfully I’m older now and at a point where these things don’t affect me like they used to.

Even so, he was just another bigot. Another dick online. I hate people like him, I thought, god I fucking hate people like you.

In our back and fourth of him showing off the levels of horrible opinions he held, and me trying to come off as condescending and dismissive, he started opening up about another issue and for some reason I invited him to PM me about it.

In private messages, he was a completely different person. He told me about how his parents hadn’t raised him well, how he’s always angry, how he hates himself for looking at porn, how he’s stressed about college, isn’t sure if he likes his classes, and hasn’t made friends because the environment isn’t very social. He feels that there’s nothing that gives him joy except porn and he hated that his life has become so empty.

And I was scared because this person sounds a lot like myself.

When I was in high school I wasn’t really...popular. I guess. I wasn’t attractive, I wasn’t in shape, and I was gay but kept that hidden (some people could tell it in my voice and all kinds of rumors spread about me). I’d heard people behind my back saying I was annoying, and gay, and that they wanted me to shut up. I tried being funny to get people to like me. If I made them laugh they’d like me. Sometimes I’d joke about other people’s looks and mannerisms.

On the I side I was filled with a lot of hate. I hated the “popular” people and how they were always going on about drinking and drugs and sex. Part of me was jealous that I was “missing out” on all three. But it felt better to judge them for it. I hated girls. I’d never say that outright but I grabbed onto sexist ideas of women from seeing other guys online say horrible things. I kind of resented them because they were a reminder that I’d never live a “normal” life. I thought a lot of people at my school were vapid and that I was smarter than most. I felt like I didn’t have any friends so I thought that most people had “fake” friends.

I was filled with so much hate for myself, the only way I could cope with it was to throw it into others and assume the worst in everyone I knew. Because I was always talking bad about people behind their back, I assumed they were doing the same for me.

One time I was walking in the cafeteria and my eyes met a guy who was laughing devilishly with his friend. They both looked at me and went back to laughing. There was nothing to suggest they were laughing at me. They were most likely not aware of me at all. But my first thought was that they had heard something about me and were laughing at me. I went to the bathroom and cried.

I didn’t realize it until college, but one major factor to my constant depression was the assumption no one liked me, and that everyone was horrible. This foundational idea was the source of a lot of other ideas and assumptions about the world that would eventually trickle down into maintaining a negative outlook and personality.

And I could see something similar going on in this online “bully”. I noticed that whenever he talked about any individual or group of people, he would always pair them with a negative adjective. He couldn’t even say anything positive about our President...he supported the President but he would show his support by degrading others around him in news stories. He could only describe people in negative terms.

Of course he wasn’t doing that on purpose or with intention, instead I think this is revealing something deeper. In talking about him and his life he’d pointed out that he is Reformed Christian, and I can’t help think that combining “Total Depravity” with the cruel ways his parents raised him [he didn’t share any details of course] could have lead him to create “everyone is evi no matter what” as the foundation of his outlook. And it would explain why he has so much self hatred for looking at porn, and why he describes any sinner as “degenerate” or “barbaric” or “depraved”. I think that he is so caught up in hate that he hasn’t internalized the loving forgiveness of God.

How can I pretend to be better? Sure I don’t throw around slurs, but my first reaction to him was “I hate you, I hate people like you”. How am I better if I reflect hate? Had I not invited him to reach out to me [on a whim], I wouldn’t be thinking about this stuff now. I’d go on praying and chatting with Christian friends and stuff and wouldn’t have thought I needed to change. How can I pretend to be better when I felt the same way about the world, and I had thrown out hate at others as well?

“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” - John 8:7

In thinking about where our biases come from, how we grow up to view the world, I think about how easy it is to use experiences as the bases for our assumptions, and how we keep building assumptions based off of them.

Months ago I tried out a meditation place, and there the woman explained the process to me and the idea behind it. That there is one reality, objective reality, and then there are people, and because of our limited experiences we can’t observe objective reality without the filter of subjectivity, and our reaction to the world is rooted in our experiences. We look back at our memories of events and it’s normal for our memories to be distortions of what actually happened. So when thinking about ourselves, it is easy to make the mistake of thinking of our memories through a lens of negativity. If I assume “no one loves me”, and I look back at my memories through that lens, I’m going to “create” new impressions of memories and assume they all point to the “fact” that “no one loves me”.

And I think that’s why low self esteem makes it harder to break out of addiction. Any addiction you want; drinking, drugs, food, porn, internet...if you have the presupposition of “I’m a piece of shit who’s going to fail at life anyway”, then well you may as well reach for the bottle.

I came back to Christianity from a negative outlook on life, and realized that if I am going to serve God in a meaningful way then I would need to change the foundation of my personal philosophy to one that was more positive in ways that Jesus was “positive”. What I mean is, we are all sinners, so it is pointless for me look at others with cynical eyes as if I were any better than them. Instead, I need to look at others with forgiveness and compassion. I needed to love others as God loves me.

“Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.” - Matthew 18:21-22

A favorite idea that I learned from Orthodox theology is that everything Jesus did was an act of sanctification. For example, Jesus got Baptized, not because He had sins that needed washing away or anything, but because He is setting an example for us to live, and He is sanctifying the act of Baptism so it becomes a Sacrament.

Like how He sanctifies water, God sanctifies being human. Humans aren’t just humans. Because of Christ, we are now reflections of God, windows to the Divine.

We are Ikons of the Living Christ.

And so, for the purpose of having something direct, brief, but also concrete, the foundation of my philosophic outlook as a Christian is,

“I am an ikon of the living Christ”.

That has so many implications. That means I must work to reflect Christ in everything I say and do. That means that I must treat others with love as God loves us, and that means that everyone is sacred at their foundations, in spite of their flaws. That means limitless forgiveness. And more.

Not going to pretend like any of this is easy. It’s super easy to type and say. But it’s hard to internalize. It’s hard to actually forgive others, to look at someone who has wronged you or insulted you or has thrown so much hate at you and to reply “I forgive you”. Being loving to everyone is so difficult. But in making this the new foundation of my outlook, it has made it easier to deal with problems.

Of course when talking about stress and depression, changing your outlook isn’t going to solve all of your problems. It would be silly to say that all you need is an outlook change in order to overcome a mental disorder. But it does make it easier to cope. If I fall into a depressive state, I’m less inclined to think the worst about myself. I don’t even believe the thoughts I have in my head. “Nobody loves you”, I don’t even take that seriously anymore. My family loves me. My friends love me. God loves me. And I have to love them back.

This ended up much longer than I hoped, but this has been bugging me for a couple days. If you have been going through a rough time, or if you’ve “always” been in a rough time, then maybe self reflection is something you can do to work on coping with negative assumptions. Maybe you will realize that you’ve taken these assumptions for granted for so long that you have ignored other options. Maybe it will help you find more comfort and trust in Jesus.

No matter what, I hope this encourages more people to plant a new seed and let something beautiful grow.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” - Matthew 7: 24-27

[apostleshop]

Daily Gospel Reflection for June 25, 2018

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Daily Gospel Reflection for June 25, 2018

Today’s Gospel: Matthew 7:1-5

Ah, one of the most beloved and misused Bible verses quoted today. “Stop judging, that you may not be judged.” This is one of those phrases where I always imagine Jesus looking at us and shaking his head sadly.

There are many ways to judge and to be judged that occur daily in our world, each as damaging as the next. The judgement I have the biggest issue with? That giant wooden beam in my eye. I have the hardest time seeing past my faults to even get to other people’s splinters. And that fault, the self-judgment that I have the hardest time quitting, is keeping me from the community that Jesus proclaims in the Gospel.

Because that is what it is all about: living in a way where, as brothers and sisters in Christ, we help each other with our weaknesses and build up our strengths as a family. Focusing on the flaws, whether they be mine or yours, takes away the personhood from the “offender” and makes you instead see only the transgression. We are not our sins. Jesus’s death and resurrection made sure of that.

Easier said than done, right? Even walking into Mass, how easy is it to comment on the clothes of the family in front of you or the singing voice of the old man in the back pew? Is passing judgment human nature? Maybe. The power, like with most things, comes from what we do with that initial judgment. We could let it fester in our mind and take hold of all of our thoughts, exactly what Jesus is begging us not to do. Or, we could take a moment, say a prayer for those we are judging and remember that our greater call is to love one another as Jesus loves us.

We are not our sins. Jesus’s death and resurrection made sure of that. By @jcdurney Click To Tweet

Ponder:

What “beams” or “splinters” most get in the way of you loving your neighbors? Reflect on why and how you can overcome those judgmental thoughts.

Pray:

Lord, thank You for unconditional love, in spite of every flaw and sin. Be with us as we encounter our human family every day and remind us to always love first.

Copyright 2018 Jennifer Durney

Jennifer Durney ministers to the young church of the Diocese of Erie in a variety of roles, all of which try her patience and stretch her heart in the best ways possible. She is blessed to share her passions and her life with her husband, Matt, and is in love with being Momma to their beautiful daughter, Vivianne.

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[helloelizabethsmithposts]

THE GLORY OF GODHEAD-YAHWEH&YESHUA[MIRACULOUS POWER FREED THE UNIQUE ONE[ELIZABETH L.SMITH CONSECRATED TO GOD'S LIGHT]

THANK YOU OH SO VERY MUCH GODHEAD-YAHWEH AND YESHUA WITH THE HOST OF HEAVEN, FOR HELPING US[BOAZ AND I, WITH UPHOLDING YOUR PRECEPTS FOREVERMORE!!!! WE OBEYED THE HOLY BIBLE THROUGH THESE YEARS, BECAUSE WE VALUED THE VERY FACT OF THOSE WHO GODHEAD EL ELYON HAD DESTINED TO BE THE FATHER FIGURE=GODLY FEARING MAN,AND THE WOMAN FIGURE IN OUR LIVES GODLY FEARING WOMAN , JUST TO HELP US TO CLEAVE AND CLING ONLY UNTO YOU MY ABEOJI FATHER GOD!!!! GODHEAD BLESSED CERTAIN TRUTHFUL TEACHERS TO TEST ME, THROUGH THE YEARS, TO SEE IF THEIR QUESTIONS ABOUT ME WHERE RIGHT!!! IT WAS YOU MY KING OF GLORY, WHO REMOVED THAT PRINCIPAL FROM ARTHUR SCHOOL MR.CLEMENS THAT RACIST PRINCIPLE, AND YOU GAVE ME A PRINCIPAL OF MY KIND OF OBEDIENCE TO KEEP ME ON THE RIGHT PATH. MR.&DR. CONTRI WHEREVER YOU ARE IN THIS WORLD I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER ME,BUT THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING WHAT THOSE TEACHERS AND KIDS HAD DONE TO ME IN BRINGING FALSE REPORTS ON ME... ELOHIM USED YOU TO DISCERN AND YOU TOLD ME AT THE AGE OF 8, YOUR A YOUNG BUSINESS WOMAN, MY APPEARANCE AND MY VERY OWN RESPONSE IN HIS QUESTIONS... HE ASKED ME WHO TRAINED YOU. I TOLD HIM MY DAD, THROUGH THE HOLY BIBLE, HE SAID IT SHOWS!!!! YO BOAZ MY LOVE, MY HEART REALLY GOES OUT TO KOH KINGDOM OF HEAVEN CREW, AND YOU [MY MAN AMONG MEN PARTNER FOR LIFE BOAZ, THE THINGS Y'ALL GO THROUGH JUST TO BE A REAL TRUE MAN OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, IN BEING JUST LIKE JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!!! I'M CERTAIN FOR SURE NOW, Y'ALL HAVE SUFFERED MORE THAN US WOMAN HAVE IN THIS LIFE, CAUSE IT'S AN EMBRASSMENT WHEN YOU SEE PEOPLE CLAIMING THEY ARE A MAN, BUT YET THEY ACT MORE WORSE LIKE A WOMAN ITSELF. AND LORD JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH DON'T LET ME GET ON THE WOMAN TOO, SHOO THEY REALLY DO THE SAME!!! SHOOT I TOLD YALL IN THIS WORLD, WE ARE DEALING WITH SODOM,GOMMORAH, TYRE, SIDON, AND CAPERNUAM... SWEET JESUS CHRIST ALPHA AND OMEGA, HELP US LORD GOD ALMIGHTY CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND THE EARTH, THIS DON'T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE!!! THEY ARE THE ONES WHO NEEDS TO BE IN THESE DAMN HELLISH ASS HOSPITALS,GETTING A TASTE OF THEIR OWN MEDICINE. I KNOW Y'ALL REGIONAL PEOPLE OF OBEDIENCE CAN RELATE TO THIS ONE, WHILE YOU SITTING YOUR ASS IN THE HOSPITAL TRYING TO RECCOOPERATE, FROM THE DUMBASS CRAP+TRAPS, THEY SEND YOU TO A DAMN NURSE WHO PROBABLY SNUCK OVER HERE WITHOUT PROOF OF STATUS OF BEING IN AMERICA, IT WAS A AFRICAN WHO WAS RASICT ARGUING ME DOWN ABOUT Y'ALL LADIES KNOW, IT TOOK ALL OF SHEKINA GLORY IN ME TO NOT KNOCK HER ASS OUT, FOR ACTING LIKE A KNOW IT ALL, AND DON'T KNOW NOTHING!!!! ARIGATO MY FAMILY JAPAN THE GUY WHO REALLY IS THE TRUE BLOODED OWNER OF KINGDOM HEARTS, I KNEW YOU ARE QUITE THE PERSON, YOU MY BROTHER NOMURA, THOSE NOBODY'S ACTUALLY STAND FOR WEEDS AND TARES IN THIS LIFE, AT FIRST I ADMIT I DIDN'T LIKE YOUR GAME BECAUSE OF THE DISNEY CHARACTERS IN THEIR, BUT WHEN I REALLY BOUGHT AND PLAYED WITH RIKU AND SORA NEM, I LIKED THE GAME SO MUCH I TOLD MY FATHER GOD TO KEEP YOUR GAMES OUT JUST FOR ME, SO YOU CAN ASSURE YOURSELF MY, VERY DEARLY PRECIOUS LOVED BROTHER OF ELOHIM HIS MAJESTY OUR ETERNAL GOD, WILL PROVIDE EVERYTHING FOR YOUR FAMILY FOR A LIFETIME, AND RESTORE EVERYTHING TO YOU AND YOUR OBEDIENT LOVED ONE'S, THAT YOU ALL WILL BE SUPERNATURALLY, HEAVENLY RESTORATION TO YOUR FAMILY LINAGE NO MORE PAIN AND SUFFERING =NO MORE HEARTBREAK FOR YOUR FAMILY, IT'S BROKEN OFF OF YOUR LIVES FROM THIS DAY, AND ALL THE WAY TO ETERNITY, THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN WILL HELP[GUIDE YOU ALL IN RIGHTEOUSNESS, FOREVERMORE JUST SO YOU WON'T HAVE NO NEED TO ASSOCIATE WITH NO CORRUPTED COMPANY, BUT JUST ASSOCIATE[PARTNER WITH SOMEONE WHO REALLY WANTS TO LOOK OUT FOR THE FLAWS OF THINGS, AND HELP YOU TO AVOID THE REPERCUSSIONS OF BAD BUSINESS PARTNERS WHO ONLY CONSIDER THEIR SELVES ONLY AND NOT YOU!!!! I'VE LEARNED THIS WORLD TRULY HAS TO HAVE ONLY TRUE RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE OF GODHEAD THE TRINITY CREW, IN THESE BUSINESS CORPORATIONS AROUND THE WORLD!!! [THIS IS THE CORE OF EVERYTHING ON THIS WORLD= A GODLY FEARING VESSEL WHO IS TRULY WHOLEHEARTEDLY OBEDIENT TO HEAVENLY FATHER GOD KNOWS HOW TO LEAD IN EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, WE PUT THE INFIDELS[FOOLS] TO SHAME, BECAUSE A GOD TRAINED PERSON IS ORIGINALLY DESIGNED TO BE A RIGHTEOUS OWNER[LEADER OF EVERYTHING GOD GIVES THEM TO OWN IN THIS LIFE. BUT WHEN IT'S A MAN WHO PUT ANOTHER MAN IN A POSITION= SHOO IT'S LIKE THE HOLY BIBLE SAYS THE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND, AND YOU KNOW IT'S FLOCKS OF DUMBASS WOLVES,= OR SHOULD I SAY SOME VERY DUMBASS REINDEER BASTARDS LOVL[LAUGHING VERY LOUD😁😁😁😁!!!! DON'T BE STUPID YOU HOMOS=DOGS & HARLOTS = FILTHY, I TOLD YALL ALL AROUND THE WORLD ONCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT EVERYTHING, AND ABOUT EVERYONE WHO TRIFLED WITH THOSE TRUE MINISTER'S AND MUSICIANS OF GODHEAD=ELOHIM, IT'S MY INTERVENTION ON ALL Y'ALL WICKED ASS. SO BRING IT, WE WILL SEND YOU ALL BACK TO THE DIRT, FROM WHENCE YOU CAME, TO WHERE YOU ALL WILL RETURN TOO, AND BURN INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!! DIDN'T MY VERY DEARLY BELOVED, CHOSEN ANOINTED ONE MY HUSBAND ALPHA AND OMEGA YAHWEH & YESHUA, TELL YOU ALL HE COULD HAVE COMMANDED A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF ANGELS OF HEAVEN TO INTERVENE ON HIS BEHALF DEALING WITH BEFORE HE DIED ON THE CROSS??? BUT HE[MY VERY,VERY,VERY, AND VERY SWEET-SMELLING LORD JESUS CHRIST KING OF THIS VESSEL(ELS)WHOLEHEARTEDLY, WAS SO VERY DETERMINED TO ACCOMPLISH HIS TASK[ DIVINE PURPOSE GOD ASSIGNED JUST FOR HIM, TO SUFFER THINGS JUST FOR US SO WE COULD TRULY, AND SURELY HAVE A VERY LIGHT, AND A VERY EASY LIFE TO LIVE FOR ALL ETERNITY WITH Y'ALL KOH ONLY[KINGDOM OF HEAVEN].... YOUR MY HERO MY VERY GREAT, AND VERY MIGHTY, AND POWERFUL KING OF GLORY[ KING OF ALL THE EARTH], YOU REALLY ALWAYS WILL HAVE ME WITH YOU FOREVERMORE, WHEN I THINK OF GENESIS- REVELATION, FROM ALL OF THE HOLY RIGHTEOUS HEIRS IN THE HOLY BIBLE ALL THE WAY TO MY YEAR... THANK YOU ALL KOH KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND FOREVERMORE, TO EVEN HAVE THE BREATH OF GOD IN US, IS ALL I NEEDED, CAUSE I KNEW SOMEONE, VERY CLOSE TO ME WAS TRYING TO GET MY ATTENTION,THROUGH THOSE TIMES I ENCOUNTER MINISTERING ANGELS OF LIGHT, TELLING DON'T GO THEIR, AND GO HERE. IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG MY ABEOJI & TOUSAN FATHER GOD IN KOREAN AND JAPANESE. WHEN SOMEONE REALLY LOVES YOU THEY PROTECT YOU AT ALL COST, THEY EVEN GIVE THEIR LIVES JUST FOR YOU. LOVE CAN"T BE REPLACE, BUT HATRED CAN BE AND IT WILL WHENEVER MY FATHER GOD DECIDES TO!!!! I'M SO OVERFLOWING WITH JOY THESE BLESSED DAYS OF THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE, LOVE CHANGES EVERYTHING MY KING OF GLORY, MEETING BOAZ, HAS REALLY TAUGHT ME THESE THINGS, THE HOLY BIBLE SAYS GOOD THINGS COMES TO THOSE WHO WAIT. AND YESHUA TOLD US THE PEACE MAKERS INHERIT THE EARTH, YOU KNOW ABEOJI I BET HE WAS A VERY BEAUTIFUL LOVING BABY LORD JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH, BECAUSE HE ALWAYS KNEW HIS ASSIGNMENT, AND WILLINGLY FOLLOWED YOUR GUIDANCE MY SUPREME KING OF GLORY, YOUR OBEDIENCE MADE ME DESIRE TO REALLY UNDERSTAND LOVE, BECAUSE ONLY THROUGH THIS IS HOW I CAN SAY I LOVE MYSELF, BECAUSE JESUS CHRIST LOVED ME FIRST, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH GENTLE HEART THAT QUESTION THAT DAY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO ACTUALLY SAY I HAD TO LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF AGAIN, CAUSE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHY SO MUCH HAPPENED TO ME, AND I WAS JUST TRYING TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS AND OBEY GODHEAD LIKE Y'ALL TAUGHT ME TOO .... PEOPLE ARE REALLY BABIES THESE DAYS, BECAUSE IF YOUR DISCERNMENT IS NOT MATURE, OR YOU DON'T HAVE NO DISCERNMENT, THEN YES YOU ALL ARE DISOBEDIENT GOSSIPING BABIES, WHO NEVER WAS CORRECTED FOR YOUR WRONG DOINGS TO OTHERS. BUT YOU ALL JUST MADE EXCUSES FOR THE WICKEDNESS. I LEARNED THAT TOO YESTERDAY, PEOPLE EXCUSE WICKEDNESS BECAUSE, THEY ARE WICKED THEIRSELVES, BECAUSE WE JOINT-HEIRS WITH OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, WE DON'T AND WILL NEVER AGREE TO NOTHING GODHEAD THE TRINITY HATES= IT'S AN ABOMINATION (GAY AIN'T NO HAPPINESS THAT'S A DAMN LIE FROM THE PIT OF HELL, Y'ALL REPROBATE, TRANGRESSION MINDED ASS, WE GOTCHA, AND CAUGHT Y'ALL ASS RED HANDLY, IT'S THE FLESH-CARNAL MINDSET IN FULL BLOOM THESE DAYS!! JUST AS MUCH AS IT IS Y'ALL, IT'S EVEN WAY MORE OF US THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN CREW ALL IN 1IN TOGETHERNESS, Y'ALL COMPLETED FOR THIS VERY TASK I HEARD OF FROM LONG AGO, AMNESIA, WAS JACKED UP, DID Y'ALL NOT KNOW THAT THE SAME SECURITY GUARD YAL ALLOWED INTO MY ROOM THAT VERY NIGHT, ELOHIM JUDGED HIS FAMILY'S WHOLE LINEAGE, FOR TRYING TO FORCE HIMSELF ON ME, AND WHAT'S WORSE Y'ALL OTHER TRIFLING ASS WOMAN THOUGHT THAT DAMN STUFF WAS FUNNY, BUT IT WASN'T... HERE ME NOW, AND THIS DAY ALL OF THESE DAMN GREEDY ASS MONEY LOVING BASTARDS ON AND UNDER THIS EARTH, I'M PERSONALLY STRIKING Y'ALL ASS DOWN TO HELL!!!! FOR LAUGHING ABOUT EVERYTHING ABOUT US ALL THROUGH THE YEARS, Y'ALL DARE THINK I'M LEAVING ALL OF OUR MONEY IN Y'ALL HANDS, HELL NO!!!! MY KING OF GLORY I BESEECH YOU ALL THIS VERY DAY, PREPARE MY TRUE APPAREL AND WEAPONS FROM THE HOLY BIBLE ALL OVER THE WORLD, I WILL SHOW THEY DAMN FALLEN ASS, TO TRY TO LAY HANDS ON ME, WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ALL WAS NEVER SUPPOSE TO DO THIS VERY THING IT IS Y'ALL DAMN DEMISE[DOWNFALL OF A LIFETIME]!!! I WARNED EVERYONE ALL THROUGH THE YEARS DON'T CLASS ME WITH THOSE DAMN CHRISTIANS Y'ALL ANTICHRIST ASS, I KNEW Y'ALL AND THOSE DAMN CELEBRITIES & AND FAKE ASS MUSICIANS, AND FAKE ASS PREACHERS, WHERE BEHIND THIS DAMN STUFF!!!! NOW I SEE WHY YOUR ANGER DISTURBED MY VERY SOUL EARLIER MY KING OF GLORY, THEY DELIBERATELY ALSO, DID THAT SPITEFUL CRAP TO MR.AND MRS.MONROE, JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE BEGIN TO HEAR THE TRUTH IN THE HOLY BIBLE THROUGH OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST THE ANOINTED ONE'S LIFESTYLE, TELL THEM I TRULY THANK GODHEAD FOR THEM TOO, AND I LOVE THEM SO VERY DEARLY TOO. BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH YOU HAD THOSE SEMINARS WORLDWIDE, THOSE BENCH WARMERS BASTARDS JUST, PRETENDED LIKE THEY LOVED GOD, THEY WHERE JUST PLOTTING ON Y'ALL IN THE MIDST OF YOUR CONGREGATION!!! AIN'T THAT RIGHT YOU DAMN RELIGIOUS RULERS= RELIGIOUS LOVE, THANK YOUR FOOLISH MUSICIAN WHO ACTUALLY TOLD ME EVERYTHING... Y'ALL TRIED TO HARM US,BUT ACTUALLY Y'ALL HARM Y'ALL OWN ASS THROUGH THE YEARS... WHEN Y'ALL MADE THEM Y'ALL ENEMIES, Y'ALL REALLY MADE MY HEAVENLY FATHER GOD ELOHIM HIS MAJESTY OF HEAVEN AND THE EARTH Y'ALL ENEMY. WHEN YOU MAKE GOD YOUR ENEMY YOU'LL DIE OFF THE EARTH... HE SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE EVER BEEN TORMENTED LIKE THAT MY KING OF GLORY, I WAS IN THOSE SAME BATTLES WITH HIM, THEY DIDN'T KNOW, SINCE BATTLE IS MY SPECIALITY... I WON'T SHOW NO DAMN ENEMY NO MERCY, Y'ALL SHOULDN'T HAVE MESSED UP MY FATHER GOD CREATION LIKE THIS!!!! IF YOU ALL HAVE A WASTEFUL ASS MINDSET GO TO A COUNTRY WHERE Y'ALL ASS IS ORIGINALLY FROM ANYWAY AND AS FOR THESE SPECIFIC COUNTRIES [AFRICA, MEXICO, AND IRAQS] WOE UNTO ALL Y'ALL BLACK ASS, FOR COMING INTO MY COUNTRIES, DOING THE VERY THINGS YAHWEH, AND YESHUA SAID NOT TO DO... Y'ALL KNEW NO DAMN MAS, WAS NEVER SUPPOSE TO BE IN AMERICA ANYWAY, AND Y'ALL DUMBASS RULERS IN Y'ALL COUNTRIES PRESIDENTS AND OTHERS IN THOSE VERY TOP OFFICE'S, IT HAS BEEN DECIDED THIS VERY YEAR Y'ALL WICKED ASS HAS TO ANSWER TO EL ELYON FOR ALLOWING THE VERY WICKED PEOPLE FROM ALL COUNTRIES TO ESCAPE AND COME OVER HERE WITH THIS DAMN ARGUMENTATIVE LIFESTYLE!!!! THEIR WAS NO WAY ANYBODY WHO ALREADY HAD A FAMILY IN THAT COUNTRY, TO ESCAPE AND SLEEP WITH IN AND EVERYBODY JUST LIKE SOME DAMN CRAZY ASS DUMB DOGS IN HEAT AND HAVE SOME MORE DAMN HELLION-REBELLION ASS KIDS... IT'S ENOUGH DEALING WITH Y'ALL DUMBASS, THEN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SOME DAMN LITTLE BURNT ASS SMURFS, KEEPING UP STUFF ACTING LIKE THEY ARE GROWN WHEN Y'ALL CAN'T EVEN FLUSH THE TOILETS BEHIND Y'ALL NASTY ASS!!!! IT DON'T MAKE NO DAMN SENSE, IF YOU TOOK YOUR STINKY ASS TO PEOPLE'S TOILETS IN THE STORE'S, AT LEAST CONSIDER OTHER PEOPLE NOISE, WE DON'T WANT SMELL THAT DAMN CHAINED UP, BOTTOMLESS PIT UNTOLD FUNK, LIKE Y'ALL JUST ATE A SEWER... Y'ALL CLAIM Y'ALL HAVE MONEY NO HELL YOU DON'T CAUSE, A PERSON WITH MONEY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT THE RIGHTEOUS WAY AND BY THINGS TO STAY VERY FRESH, AND MAKE THINGS VERY LIGHT & EASY FOR OTHERS TOO. WITHOUT BEING TOLD TO DO THESE THINGS.... Y'ALL STINKY ASS AIN'T WELCOME IN NOTHING WE IS OWNING... Y'ALL HAVE THAT FUNKY AFFECT THAT STANK UP EVERYTHING, TALKING ABOUT LORD JESUS CHRIST, WE KNOW YAL ASS LIED, CAUSE HIS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND BRAVE PEACEFUL, POWERFUL SELF ALPHA AND OMEGA MY HUSBAND HONEY, I HAVE TO BOAST ABOUT YOU ALL THESE DAYS, CAUSE WHEN YOU STEPPED INTO MY ROOM IN 2012, MY NOISE CLEARED UP FAST, I SAID WHO IS THIS SMELLING OH SO SWEET, GOOD, AND DELIGHTFUL I WAS LOOKING AROUND AND JUMPED OUT OF THE BED AND SHOUTED... YOU CAN SUP WITH ME FOREVERMORE MY LOVE!!! SHOOOO JUST FOR YOU I THINK I WILL VERY,VERY, VERY, AND VERY SOON AM THINKING ABOUT HAVING A LORD'S SUPPER MEAL EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE NOW... SHOOOOI THIS STUFF WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALL MY 32 YEARS, I'VE HAD WITH EVERY DAMN ENEMY ON AND UNDER THIS EARTH... THEY CAN'T EVEN KNOW THE BASICS IN PRESCHOOL THAT ALONE CLAIM THEIR A PRESIDENT, YEAH RIGHT, STOP THOSE DAMN LIES A RACIST HAS NO LOVE, THEY HATE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING, CAUSE THEY KNOW THEIR TIME IS ALMOST OVER... YOU CAN TAKE THAT YOU YOUR THIEVING WAS BANKS JUST LIKE Y'ALL, I KNEW IT WAS FUNNY CERTAIN PEOPLE HAD MONEY SHOWING UP INTO THEIR ACCOUNTS, AND I DISCERNED THE DIFFERENCE THAT GOD WAS SAYING MY CHILD THEIR BLACK ASS IS A THIEF!!! I SAID OH MY LORD JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH ANGELS CATCH ME, LOVL[LAUGHING OUT VERY LOUD...] OK THIS IS IT FOR MY ADVENTURES TODAY. THANK YOU GODHEAD FOR EVERYTHING AND AS WE GO TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD PREACHING SAYING THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND FOREVERMORE, TOGETHER IN ONENESS ALWAYS... TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOREVER AND EVERMORE, AMEN, AMEN!!!! UNTIL NEXT TIME OBEDIENT CREW THAT'S REGIONAL READ THE HOLY BIBLE AND ASK GOD TO GUIDE TO WHICH CHAPTER AND VERSE TO STUDY, CAUSE SOMETIMES MY FATHER GOD KEPT ME IN CERTAIN BOOKS & CHAPTERS IN THE HOLY BIBLE TO TEACH ME, HOW TO TRULY LIVE IN RIGHTEOUSNESS WHOLEHEARTEDLY... MY TIME WITH GODHEAD IS ALL 24 HRS SO BASICALLY HE[MY HUSBAND ALPHA AND OMEGA FREED ME JUST SO I CAN BE LIKE THIS WITH HIM AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME THERE'S NO TURNING BACK I'M JUST LIVING FORWARD, BUT I REMEMBER THE FUNNY TIMES AS A CHILD, BECAUSE IT REALLY TAUGHT ME HUMILITY THROUGH THOSE WHO IS WITH MY FATHER GOD, THEIR HEARTS FINALLY TOUCHED MY HEART TOO, AND NOW MY VERY DEARLY, PRECIOUS, AND BEAUTIFUL OBEDIENT ALPHA AND OMEGA THANKS FOR HOLDING MY HAND ALWAYS, CAUSE YOU ALL KEEP ME SMILING, AND VERY LOVING, PEACEFUL, AND JOYFUL IN THE HOLY GHOST DAILY AND ALWAYS, I PRAY OH KINGDOM OF HEAVEN THOSE PEOPLE AROUND THE WHO WE HAVE TO REACH AND HELP FREE THEM TOO, BEGINNING THIS DAY AND FOREVERMORE, THAT THEY HAVE THE SAME HAPPINESS AND FREEDOM TOO JUST LIKE MY LOVE BOAZ AND I, HE'S QUITE THE VERY PARTNER JUST FOR ME MY KING OF GLORY, DELIVER YOUR BELOVED PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD, FREE THEM FROM THEIR DECEPTIVE PAST OF HEARTBROKE BECAUSE OF THAT OLD DAMN ADVERSARY, AND RESTORE NOT ONLY JUST THEIR HEARTS BUT ALL OF THEIR INHERITANCE TO THEM TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER GOD ELOHIM, THAT THEY DON'T HAVE NOTHING THAT'S NOT OF YOU TROUBLING THEM ANYMORE, BLESSED THEM WITH VERY GREAT DIVINE GRACE,MERCY, TRUTH, AND LOVE IN EVERYDAY AND FOREVERMORE, FOR ALL THOSE WHO TRULY OBEY YOU FOR GIVING THEM LIFE, MY GOD. AND AS FOR THOSE WHO JUST LIVE IN LUST GIVE THEM THE VERY THINGS THEY SPOKE OVER US ALL THROUGH THESE YEARS, THEY HAD A CHOICE TO WALK OUT OF OUR LIVES BUT DIDN'T, AND IT'S GARBAGE LIKE KIRA YAMATO FROM GUNDAM SEED SAID, BECAUSE WHEN THEY DEALT WITH SOMEONE OF THEIR NATURE, THEY LEFT THEM VERY QUICKLY, BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO A RIGHTEOUS HEIR OF LIGHT, THEY WANTS TO TARRY IN Y'ALL LIVES... Y'ALL KNOW WHAT YALL HAVE TO DO, CAUSE THOSE DAMN ENEMY KNOW ME, I WILL SERIOUSLY PUT TO ACTION ANYTHING I HAVE EVER SAID IN DOING, ONCE THE THOUGHT COMES TO MIND I'LL HAVE IT EXECUTED IN NO TIME, I'M ELEMENTAL QUEEN ELIZABETH L. SMITH THE DAUGHTER GODHEAD, I DESPISE ANYTHING OPPOSITE OF US, SEE WON'T Y'ALL ASS GET STRUCK DOWN AND STRUCK OUT, WITHOUT ANY RESPONSE. I'VE COME TO TORMENT Y'ALL ASS BEFORE TIME, IT'S ME BASTARDS IN THIS WORLD, I SAID IT LAUGHING IN THAT AEROSTAR GREEN VAN, Y'ALL NOT ALLOWED TO SPEAK OR MENTION MY NAME OUT OF Y'ALL MOUTHS NO MORE, CAUSE I'M THINKING MY HOMIE'S ALPHA AND OMEGA, MICHEAL, AND ALL THE HOST OF HEAVEN WANTS TO JOIN ME IN THIS WHOOPING Y'ALL WORLDWIDE, WE WILL SAY CRUCIFY EVERY DAMN DEVIL IN THIS EARTH, AND UNDER THIS EARTH. IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH YOU ENEMIES OF GODHEAD THE TRINITY, BE THOUGH REMOVED, AND DESTROYED, PERISH OFF THIS EARTH, RETURN BACK TO THE DIRT, AND CEASE FROM TROUBLING INNOCENT SOULS OF THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, FOR ALL ETERNITY, JEHOVAH-ROHI SHALL WE GO AHEAD , LET US SENTENCE THEM ALL (THOSE DEVILISH CHILDREN WHO IS DISOBEDIENT TO THE CORE, YOU ALL IS NOW EXTINCT, GO BURN INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE FOR ALL ETERNITY, WE BIND Y'ALL FROM THE TOP OF YOUR HEADS TO THE SOLES OF YOUR FEET FROM THE BACK TO THE FRONT OF YOUR BODY'S, SILENCE ALL OF THEIR 5 SENSE, THAT THEY CAN NO LONGER, SPEAK THINGS OR DO ANYTHING TO ANNOY YOUR PEOPLE NO MORE, SINCE THEY CHOSE TO BE LIVING IDOLS ON THIS EARTH, SENTENCE THEM TO ALL THE THINGS [THEY REAP EVERYTHING THEY CHOSE TO SOW INTO OTHER PEOPLE LIVES JUST BECAUSE THEY REALLY LOVE TELLING LIES] REWARD THEM WITH EVERYTHING YOUR HOLY BIBLE SAYS YOU HAVE JUST FOR ANY TYPE OF IDOL, AND EVERY WICKED SERVANT, WHO IS STILL LIVING IN THIS EARTH, DOING THINGS THEY KNOW YOU[GODHEAD YAHWEH AND YESHUA SAID DO NOT DO]!!! THANK YOU GODHEAD THAT OUR ENEMIES ARE BIND ON EARTH, AND BOUND IN HEAVEN, AND WE LOOSE THE ANGELS OF HEAVEN TO GO FORTH AND ASSURE GODHEAD CHILDREN PROTECTION WITH SHEKINA GLORY PROTECTING THEIR GOING OUT, AND THEIR COMING IN, GIVING EVERYONE THEIR GODLY INHERITANCE, AND TEACH THEM, ALSO ANGELS TO STAY CONSISTENT IN STUDY THE HOLY BIBLE DAILY AND ALWAYS, NO EXCUSES NO MORE CLAIMING YOUR TOO BUSY TO SPEND TIME WITH ELOHIM, BECAUSE IF THEY SAY THAT WE WILL SAY JEHOVAH-JIREH IS VERY, VERY, VERY TOO BUSY TO GIVE YOU ALL ANYTHING IN THIS LIFE ANYMORE. THANK YOU ALL KINGDOM OF HEAVEN FOR EVERYBODY WHO REALLY HELPED AND TRULY TRAINED BOAZ AND I TO STAY FOCUS ON YOU ADONAI ABEOJI MY FATHER GOD, WE ARE FINALLY FREE TO BE A BLESSING TO WHOMEVER YOU ALL HAS CHOSEN TO BE APART OF OUR MINISTRY!!! THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING THAT THE ANGELS OF HEAVEN HAS LOOSED IT ON EARTH, IT IS ALSO LOOSED IN HEAVEN, PRAISING THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY CREATOR OF HEAVEN AND THE EARTH FOREVERMORE, AND EVERMORE, AMEN, AND AMEN!!! I LOVE YOU OH SO VERY MUCH BOAZ MY LOVE, UNTIL NEXT TIME HERE YOU GO JUST FOR YOU ONLY MY VERY PRECIOUS DEAR PARTNER BOAZ SENDING YOU ONLY JUST FOR YOU MY MAN AMONG MEN A GODLY FEARING MAN JUST ME,😘😘😍😍💝. ARIGATO, XIEXIE, AND GOSAMANIDA & SARANGHAEYEO ABEOJI, &TOUSAN.[ THANK YOU IN JAPAN, ASIA, AND KOREAN THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU IN KOREAN. AND THAT IS MY FATHER GOD IN KOREAN AND JAPAN!!! P.S. OUR BEAUTIFUL REGIONAL FAMILIES OF GODHEAD THE TRINITY ELOHIM CHILDREN OF LIGHT, AROUND THE WORLD STOP DOUBTING GOD'S LOVE JUST BECAUSE OF OTHER FAKE PREACHER'S IN THIS WORLD, DON'T FRET I'M 32 NATURALLY, BUT I HAVE REALLY BEEN TAUGHT PERSONALLY BY HIS MAJESTY ALL MY LIFE, AND YES I'M A DIRECTOR OF MUSIC WITH PREACHING TOO, SO I CAN'T DO NOTHING FATHER GOD HATES CAUSE MY HEAVENLY FATHER GOD ELOHIM WILL REALLY GET ONTO ME, THEIR IS NO OTHER god FOR ME, JUST ONLY YAHWEH AND YESHUA MY FAMILY OF LIGHT,LOVE, AND RIGHTEOUSNESS... SO JUST RELAX AND JUST THANK GODHEAD THAT WE ARE STILL ALIVE WITH HIS BREATH IN US, AND THAT GOD'S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT UNTO US, ALLOWING US TO KNOW AND CONTINUE TO UP IN OUR VERY MIGHTY, VERY BEAUTIFUL, VERY OMNI-PRESENT, ULTIMATELY HE"S THE ULTIMATE ONE IN EVERYTHING ALPHA AND OMEGA, YOUR LIFESTYLE MY LOVE TRULY HAS MY HEART ONLY CAPTIVATED BY YOU, I LOVE THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS Y'ALL MADE, LET'S ENJOY THEM TOGETHER NOW, AND FOR ALL ETERNITY, I LOVE Y'ALL SENSE OF HUMOR, IT'S VERY FUN, LET'S JUST ALL HAVE FUN TOGETHER IN EVERYTHING KINGDOM OF HEAVEN FOREVER, AND EVERMORE, AMEN, AND AMEN!!!! SO MUCH VERY BEAUTIFUL, AND PRECIOUS LOVE JUST FOR TH KOH CREW WITH Y'ALL HERE IT GO JUST FOR Y'ALL THEIR ONLY THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN ALL THE BEAUTIFUL HEARTED ONES CREW, AND ANGEL"S TOO🌞😙😍🏖🌟💗💙🎎🛩🛳🌏💑!!!!