#my boss was trying to convince me to use it the other day 💀

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 113 - The Playdate of All Time

It's a little dreary, but this was the only day Anna could convince her husband to tag along for the playdate too.

Anna: You have a lovely home.

Ophelia: Thank you. Uh, mind telling me who these other three kids are?

The more the merrier but it's weird one of them is a teen.

Calvin: Sorry for the short notice, but I mentioned this playdate to my boss and he asked if his twins could come.

Ophelia: That's okay, we've got plenty of toys! I'm sure the kids will have a lot of fun today. I, uh, don't think the teenage boy will have much fun though.

Calvin: Oh, that's their brother Trent, he's just dropping them off.

Ophelia: That's nice of him.

Calvin: Mr. Esposito's a busy man. And his second wife doesn't really… do kids. Wish I had that privilege.

Ophelia: Uh, isn't Jaden your son?

Calvin: What's your point?

Calvin: Trent's a good kid but he's one of those… you know.

Ophelia: Uh, no?

Calvin: Come on, you see the eyeliner, right?

Ophelia: …An emo?

Calvin: Is that what we're calling them nowadays? I can't keep up with that PC crap.

Ophelia: Uh…

Trent: Hey, Mrs. Lemon. Thanks for having us. I freaked out when Dad told me you were the one hosting this! I'm a huge fan!

Ophelia: Thank you so much, but you can just call me Ophelia, hon. Your sisters look like sweethearts, we don't mind at all.

Ophelia: You don't have to hang out with us old folks, we'll take good care of the girls, but you're more than welcome to stay.

Trent: Uh, a chance to hang out with the singer from my favorite band? I'd love to stick around. Besides, Claudia's kind of clingy.

Calvin: Oh. Great.

As the kids run off to play, Gemma sees one of these unfamiliar little girls and can't help but admire her sense of style. The pompom necklace, the butterfly wings? This girl knows how to dress for a party!

Gemma: Hi! I'm Gemma. What's your name?

Marina: I'm Marina!

Gemma: I like your butterfly wings! Can you fly?

Marina: I dunno, my hermano won't let me jump off stuff to try.

Marina: This is my sissy Claudia!

The other little girl, who was plucking away on the xylophone, perks up hearing her name.

Claudia: Hi.

Gemma waves and Claudia goes back to playing.

Marina: Hermano says she's always on that grind!

Gemma: What's that mean?

Marina: I dunno!

Gemma: What's a hermano?

Marina: My big brother!

She looks over at Trent and back to Marina.

Gemma: Wow, your big brother is real old.

Marina: Yeah, he's like 40 or somethin'. My daddy's like 150, and my step-mommy's like 12!

Gemma: Whoa!

Jaden's kind of doing his own thing too. His daddy doesn't like 'all that kiddie crap' in the house so he's too overwhelmed by the options to be social.

Marina: You got lotsa fun toys! Wanna play with me?

Gemma: Okay!

First Jaden, now Marina? Gemma's making so many friends!

The adults table isn't nearly as fun. Calvin and Anna drone on about their ministry for the Church of Llama Day Saints, but can't even pretend to care when Ophelia talks about music or Trent talks about… anything. Ophelia is enjoying talking to Trent, at least.

Anna: So what church does your family go to?

Ophelia: Oh, uh, none. I mean, we believe in the Watcher, but uh, organized religion just isn't for us.

Anna: Ah. I see… I'll pray for you.

Not Trent mocking Anna behind her back 💀😂

Calvin: If you'd like to go to a service sometime, we'd be more than happy to let you sit at our pew.

Ophelia: Oh, I think we're good.

Trent: If you change your mind, don't worry. They never stop asking.

Xander wishes Lulu hadn't gone to sleep so he didn't have to be here.

Gemma and Marina have a grand time playing dolls in the play tent, but Claudia seems a little less focused once she hears her sister giggling and having fun with someone else…

Claudia confronts Gemma while Marina is distracted by something shiny.

Claudia: Stop playing with Rina! She's MY sister, not yours! I'm gonna tell my papi and he's gonna fire you!

She hears her papi threatening to fire people all the time. It must mean he sets them on fire!

Whoa! Why was this girl being so mean and yelling at her? Gemma wasn't trying to steal anyone. She thought they were all having fun together.

Gemma starts to whimper as tears pool in her eyes but thankfully Ophelia's to the rescue.

Ophelia wipes Gemma's little tears away and comforts her.

Ophelia: It's okay, baby doll, you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes it's hard to share. I'll make sure she apologizes.

Thankfully, Ophelia doesn't have to do much because Trent steps in.

Trent: Claudia! ¡Basta! You know better. Marina can play with who she wants. Say sorry to Gemma for being mean.

Claudia: But-

Trent: We're guests here, you're not going to be rude to our hosts.

Ophelia's impressed. Seems like this isn't the first time Trent's parented them.

Now Claudia's the one sniveling.

Claudia: S-Sorry, hermano.

Trent sighs.

Trent: Thank you, Clauds, now go tell Gemma, okay? I'm not mad, you're not in trouble, just make sure you're using your manners, alright?

Claudia: Okaaaay.

Trent can't stand to see one of his sisters crying. He won't let them act up but he's not completely heartless.

Trent: Come here, you're fine. Now go show Gemma the nice girl I know you are, yeah? Love you, pollito.

Claudia: I'm not a chicken!

Trent: You're my little chicken!

Trent: Sorry about that.

Ophelia: No, it's fine, kids are kids. Thank you for saying something to her, though.

Trent: Hey, I'm not raising any spoiled brats, you know?

They have a father AND a step-mother. Why is this teenager raising them at all?

Claudia: Sorry I was mean. You can play with my sister.

Gemma: Okay! You can play with us too if you want!

Well, not really, because Trent says it's time for them to go shortly after. It takes a bit to pull Marina away from her toy.

Jaden's hashtag feeling himself though.

Calvin: What is my son playing with?

Ophelia: Oh, that's Gemma's makeup kit.

Calvin: Why would you put that out when you knew a boy was coming over? Don't you have any toys that are more masculine?

Ophelia: I don't really consider toys to be masculine or feminine…

Calvin: I see the woke mind virus got to you too.

Ophelia: You and Anna keep saying 'woke' but I'm not really sure what you mean by that.

Calvin: Look, that's fine for your girls, but maybe put that away next time Jaden's here. I don't want my son thinking he can wear makeup.

Ophelia: Makeup isn't only for girls.

Calvin: Trent's gone, you don't have to pretend that's normal anymore.

Ophelia: I'm not pretending.

Calvin: Listen, I'm trying to be civil here. Don't push your woke agenda on my boy.

Now there's an agenda? Wish someone filled her in.

Gemma: You look as pretty as my mommy!

Before Jaden can respond, his dad comes to berate him.

Calvin: Jaden, are you trying to embarrass us? Boys don't wear makeup! We're cleaning that off before we leave.

Jaden whimpers. He didn't want to be bad, he just wanted to have fun…

Xander: Don't you think he's being a bit harsh?

Anna: You can raise your kids how you want. We're raising Jaden to be a respectable young man like his father.

Xander: muttering Dude's throwing a tantrum over mascara but sure.

Ophelia's hoping to get struck by lightning.

Gemma: I dunno why your daddy got all yelly. You're so pretty!

His heart feels less heavy when Gemma says that.

Jaden: …Thanks.

Even if his parents aren't always the nicest to him, his new buddy Gemma has his back!

[narwhalandchill]

i have to say of all the things people were speculating before 4.2 the fontaine AQ "theory" (if you could even call it that) im the most glad just. aged like complete milk and died silently in a ditch as it should was the way people were just. genuinely thinking the shadow dude in the narwhals stomach was childe 💀 and not even in the "ohhh what if" but actually soo convinced i just????

like hello what the fuck. i cannot believe that was a real thing like it was so widespread bc everyone went all. well the narwhal has to be bad and evil with terrible designs in mind for some nefarious plot relating to ajax so it has to be corrupting him and using his body as a puppet. and then pointing at the absolute most superficial "similarities" between the shadow and foul legacy when literally none of the actual core design aspects of FL were present at all whatsoever 😭 the shadow shares more in common with the fucking husks or even like. those hsr antimatter legion bitches what are you guys talking about. arguing oh the reason it looks nothing like childe or FL is bc hes already been gigasigma corrupted for a billion years in abyss time like WHAT

it got so bad i started fucking. double guessing my own (factually correct. as always. its like dawei wants to feed my ego) assessment of. yeah no fucking way thats ajax. theres some similarities in certain combat moves and some armor traits but like. he didnt invent his fighting style with FL he was literally taught it 💀 and 4.0 already told us skirk taking him in as a disciple had Something to do with his encounter with the narwhal. not at all unusual there would be some parallel (and i do find it plausible that the shadow v much has to do with surtalogi).

the other side of it was also like. yes sure im less reliable on that argument front leading up to 4.2 bc im way too narwhalpilled and obsessed with destined bonds between a mortal and an eldritch cosmic being in general so i was always hoping for it to like him in that based gourmet incomprehensible alien way. BUT. the way ppl fucking trashed my beloved acting all oh the narwhal calling for ajax must involve wanting to do something terrible to the uhhhhhh (checks notes) kid that.... freed it? woke it up? after an indeterminate time spent in some sort of stasis and imprisonment??? especially when its a creature meant to be freely traversing the cosmos?? Huh? 😭 tf would the narwhal have against him im crying. stop assuming the worst of this lovely friend shaped cetacean that is literally so rude.

(And like. i mean this with the utmost respect to his clear power boost regarding mastery over FL and am by no means trying to flatten or dismiss his development but also. 45+ days brawling. when the narwhal was already more or less fully primordial sea juice boosted. and when it went DIRECTLY for the kill against all those shrimp civilians in the cutscene. ajax. ajax. ajax. you did a great job but no way in fucking hell am i believing the narwhal was at any point trying to kill you fr im sorry 💀💀💀 you got the VIP treatment bc it likes you and i am Not believing otherwise unless dawei himself smites me and rebukes this directly. edit: and like he fell back in passed out & near death. well why the fuck wouldnt it finish the job right there and then???? checkmate atheists)

ultimately it just made no sense and while theories are fair game for everyone and all i just really hated this one its literally so petty but i cant help it im so glad it was instakilled on spot by the 4.2 trailer SKSKSKDKSKSDSJK i saw my man true and real in all his foul legacy drip and i knew i won.

also when the narwhal attack animations leaked and people were all oh my god its destroying childes constellation this is super bad and evil and i just. you mean the constellations that serve as the direct physical manifestations of celestias hold over destiny and fate. those. you mean the guy whose boss archive entry builds him up as the one who will "overturn this world" having his constellation busted through by a 874679 gigaton star-devouring whale pal could like. in no way shape or form be perhaps a visual metaphor for some. other development. after multiple lore drops and talks of wills capable of rivaling the world and not being chained by celestias ever present gaze. dont you maybe think the visuals of a constellation falling from the sky could also imply a different kind of thing. icant 😭 same for his vision malfunctioning if the narwhals behind that one too. like you mean the device we used to literally spy on his memories and that are all but confirmed to be not quite the quirky divine gift all perks no fine print you might assume. that thing. surely the vision malfunctioning is awful for ajax. (this take was sponsored by sustainer!!!)

it was literally just all these weird assumptions that abyss bad so narwhal from abyss (that aged well lmao) also bad ajax is a helpless baby fish being lured by the seductive calls of his narwhal to the dark side. and so on

and then turns out hes the one attacking the narwhal on sight 💀💀 if only we couldve foreseen his desire to fight the being he encountered during his time in the abyss once they meet again from something like idk his own voicelines that have been there since 1.1..... but alas 😔

[daenystheedreamer]

wips but theyre just random threads i go insane over for a couple days and then let them languish forever

rhaenicent vamp one shot: yeah its another lesbian vampire thing. but its targs who are weird vamp creatures and alicent doesnt know and there's all these weird rules about not leaving her chambers at night and how the new fashion is high collars (to protect one's neck from the cold). otto is viserys' blood bank but otto is like dried out and is planning to swap out with alicent. alicent FREAKS and runs out and rhaenyra. well. Heh. a predator chases her prey 😈

jae era uzumaki: this one ive actually written like 50% its What if a huge black hole spiral appeared in the red keep. opens up on the night of alyssa and baelon's wedding im sure that means nothing.

apocalypsoiaf: this one is a series so:

roadside picnic type au where after the long night hits, the castles all become fucked up anomalous Zones that have weird gravity and creatures and ooze etc. but theyre filled with food and tapestries and gold to loot so some people (not called stalkers) go in on bounty hunts funded by the remnants of the citadel/fot7

so there's this tidbit that people of the faith will be buried with a crystal so there's this new wave of gravediggers hoping to find crystals and gold they can sell. but the corpses are no longer dead so its zombies :)

small village is overrun by insane apocalypse cult for the stranger except the actual apocalypse does happen. its the interpersonaldrama between the village locals and the stranger zealots. village is on the red fork. inspired by little english village cresswood dale being invaded by sovcit weirdos

daemyra 1001 arabian nights scheharazade: wot it sounds like. rhaenyra telling daemon a long story and its like weird and fucked up and horny and she keeps edging him with plot points. DAEMYRA NEUTRAL its honestly more rhaenicent if anything

barbcat parent teach conference + cheating: wot it says on the tin. they were uni roommates back in the day when cat was experimenting with her demons(bisexuality)

jrt: the jeyne robb theon teen pregnancy fic i used to think i might actuallyfinish 💀 i still think about it i just hate writing and i hate not writing but then i write and i hate it. etcetera ad nauseum

untitled danelle x fem!oc: my oc jeyne whent who has a employee/boss relationship with her lady danelle. a little bit totally causes her downfall

wiggles daensa: i was nostalgic about the wiggles for a couple days and went insane thinking about children's entertainer dany + sansa who got parentified and babysits rickon and robin and theyre obsessed with dany from the tv

various theon threads:

living in a share house with some other northern kids. theon isnt even on the lease he's the asshole dipshit boyfriend even though he's essentially another roommate who showers too long and doesnt wash his dishes

a high school au (i know) but its mostly theon trying to convince robb to fuck in his parents' bed for

asha as theon's legal guardian :)

lovecraftian au where robb is a 1930s noir detective (recently divorced by his ex-wife jeyne for being Too Dedicated To His Job) and he's contacted by asha after theon goes missing. turns out theon is a lovecraftian monster and is being used by euron/ramsay for evil deeds

mafia au but instead of being sexy bdsm its robb accidentlly visiting a greyjoy money laundering restaurant where theon is the only employee and even though theon is the WORST server robb keeps coming. and the food is all just frozen lasagne that theon heats up in the microwave btw and the coffee tastes like ass

this is actually so hard to compile cos i have horrific paranoia and cant stand labelling my docs anything incriminating like "lesbian fanfiction" so i have to decipher what the fuck i meant by

and the body of the doc is two paragraphs of dialogue my brain was tormenting me with and the ages of the characters. do you know how hard it is to figure out what the fuck i was trying to write when the mock up draft is entirely this:

^ this and also more penis puns. but i think ditlo is day in the life and cat is cat but idfk what the sta is for. it could be fucking anything. i think i was gonna queerbait barbcat in this so it cant even be a ship????

[tklnurse]

Decided to answer all the questions in the post I reblogged a little bit ago lol. Save y’all the trouble of asking 😂😂

1. Where to you crave to tickle, or be tickled, the most?

Be tickled: Always ribs. Sometimes feet too.

Tickle: No particular spot, wherever the lee is most ticklish.

2. What are some of your favorite verbal teases?

I just like when the ler talks about how ticklish and/or helpless I am. Also when they specifically say “tickle torture”.

3. What's the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to you while being tickled?

Nothing more humiliating than a fart that I can think of.

4. Where's the best place to go to do some public tickling? (The mall, library, restaurant, park? Ect.)

We tend to do it at restaurants because that’s where we end up together the most frequently lol.

5. Picture yourself (or a Lee) in the stocks. A marker is pulled out, and something is written on your (or their) feet. What does it say?

Probably “tickle me” or “I’m so ticklish”.

6. What would be your best bartering agreement to get someone to stop tickling you?

There is absolutely no bartering agreement on Earth that would stop my ler 😂😂😂.

7. Are there any other kinks or fetishes you'd want incorporated into a tickling session? How?

Several, and we usually do incorporate at least a couple of them. But I don’t want to discuss all that on here 💀.

8. What are you wearing on your feet right now?

Nothing.

9. Describe a tickle related dream you once had.

A very elaborate “depression treatment” lab themed dream, that again, I’m not trying to discuss all that on here lol.

10. If you could wear anything as a fun, one-time thing for a themed tickle session, what would it be?

Hmm. Maybe like a wonder woman or bat woman suit.

11. What kind of tickle related gift would you get for a Lee's birthday? For a Ler's?

Some sort of tool or bondage related item would be suitable for both a lee and a ler.

12. If the number that your favorite athlete wears means that was the minimum amount of minutes to endure next time you were tickled, how screwed would you be?

#13 - 13 minutes. I’m perfectly fine 😂😂😂.

13. Do you prefer to give/hear begging for less or more tickles?

He doesn’t make me beg for more so idk. Begging for less is good cuz that means he’s breaking me lol. As a ler I also like to hear them beg for less, for that same reason.

14. What are you thoughts of being recorded during a tickle session, then watching it later with whomever was a part of the session?

I don’t mind being recorded but it’s not a need. For some unknown reason I HATE watching it with him. But sometimes I enjoy re-watching it alone.

15. Post orgasm tickles, Yay or Nay?

Yay!

16. Which tickle related content creator, either professional or amateur, would you most want to have a session with?

Flashy Feet Productions, The Tickle Room, James Darke, French Tickling 🤷🏼‍♀️ Bonjour! 😂 Octopus Tickling, too.

17. What is a nightmare scenario for you when it comes to tickling?

NOT being tickled 😂😂😂.

18. Would you rather get tickled by your high-school bully and high school crush at the same time? Or by your most favorite and least favorite co-workers?

Neither lol. This question can fuck off 😂.

19. Theoretically, do Ler's/Lee's that hold a position of power make them more enticing to you? (For example, if they were your Boss, or held political office?)

It doesn’t matter. As long as they’re a Dom.

20. Favorite thing to be called during a session?

“Ticklish little girl”.

21. Ever hear of Thirsty Thursday, now introducing Tickle Tuesday! It's a day where... (Complete this sentence.)

you get tickled to your heart’s content.

22. What is your gag of choice, if any, during a session?

I don’t prefer to use one… but either a ball gag or the bone shaped one my ler also has are fine.

23. In a safe environment, would you let a complete stranger tickle you while you were blindfolded and restrained? If yes, would you want to see what the person looked like after? Or live with the mystery?

Not a stranger, no.

24. How much tickling would it take to convince you to eat your least favorite food?

A good amount. lol.

25. Would you wear an article of clothing in public that said "Tickling turns me on" if it was written in a different language?

Depends if it’s a commonly known language 😂 like I definitely wouldn’t wear it in Spanish, French, or Creole here… but maybe like Japanese 😂

26. What kind of things do you hope to see in your inbox when you see a notification?

Asks are my favorite always 😅.

27. Would you ever try a bastinado session? Or foot roasting?

Have done both. They’re fun.

28. Who do you wish knew about your kinks and fetishs in your life that currently doesn't?

Nobody. lol.

29. Write a haiku about tickling.

I love tickling,

Please tickle me lots and lots,

That wasn’t enough.

30. What do think about a tickle session that involves a lee being in the back seat of a car with their feet locked in the passenger head rest? Keep in mind the car is parked in a semi-busy parking garage, and the windows are rolled down, meaning sound can echo and travel easier, and above all else, people can see. Would you participate?

I would absolutely not participate. lol.