#my blog aesthetic is 90% loki and every once in awhile word vomiting tom feels

[iamanartichoke]

So "Tom Hiddleston and Zawe Ashton are engaged" was trending on twitter last night, and it popped up on my facebook feed (I gotta stop clicking on Marvel articles bc the algorithm tbh), and my initial reaction was, 😍 good for them! and my second reactions was, lol cue the uberstans* having meltdowns -

- so then I went to go find some wank bc I was bored and I think Tom wank - like, literally about Tom, not about Loki or any character he plays - is an 8/10 on the wanky entertainment scale (mainly bc there's just so much to unpack but I don't usually get emotionally invested [I do sometimes get angry on Tom's behalf bc dear lord] so it's just like, *munches popcorn* ) -

- and, anyway, I'm not sure what it says about me that a) I did this in the first place (intentionally sought out wank, I mean) or b) that I was not disappointed, bc oh my god, the takes. To be fair, the reaction seems to be mostly positive and supportive, but of course there's that faction of the Tom fandom - the aforementioned uber stans - who genuinely seem like they don't want Tom to ever have nice things.

Cut for length and also bc this post is stupid.

Some highlights -

It's a PR stunt (if so, they're really pulling off the long con) (not clear if it's PR for Tom [TES] or Zawe [new Marvel role] or both

Relatedly, apparently Tom (and Zawe) is irrelevant at this point and they're just trying to drum up publicity to keep his name out there (especially hilarious bc the last couple of years, he's been so relevant, especially compared to 2016-18ish when he'd dropped off the face of the earth, but what they really mean is that he's irrelevant for anything besides Marvel/Loki and they really resent that he's not out doing tons of good movies like Benedickle Cumberpickle**)

^^ Furthermore, Tom must think he has the star power/relevance to be picky about roles but he's no Leonardo DiCaprio or whoever and he needs to work, okay, bc the thirsty fanatics demand it (see: stan entitlement toward Tom's life, career, and general being)

^^ Also, Tom needs to be done with Loki now bc he definitely looks too old to play the part anymore

It's old news bc Zawe's been wearing a ring for months so, like, whatever, yawn, we already knew anyway

^^ but also Zawe wore a very loose-fitting dress to whatever awards the other day, and clearly this means she's pregnant, so they're now trying to spin the engagement narrative before the inevitable pregnancy announcement

Celebrity marriages never last, they'll split eventually (assuming they even actually go through with getting married in the first place)

Tom is about to lose so many fans bc the thirst is real but it's only worthwhile if he's single or they believe he is

And like I said, most of the reaction is positive/supportive, but the unhappy ones are really unhappy for, clearly, a myriad of reasons and I don't have time to unpack all of them but suffice it to say, this kept me entertained for at least a good hour and a half last night bc, like, boy howdy how do these people's brains even function.

* uberstans - the fans I consider to be completely unhinged about Tom, ie just obsessed, to the point that they lose their minds over stuff like this that interferes with the fantasy(?) that someday they will meet Tom and he will fall in love with them or whatever

** idk if making fun of Benedict's name is an Old Meme at this point and no longer funny, but to me it will never stop being funny, bc I'm very easily amused, I will not be taking constructive criticism at this time.