#my biggest artist bud

[drchucktingle]

trotting past this together

a few chuck posts are makin the rounds today which means i am getting the usual 'chuck is my favorite author i have never read' jokes.

i have talked about how i do not really like this comment as i think there is inherent 'not taking chuck seriously as a sincere and real human' to this. some say 'i do not like erotica' but chuck writes plenty of non erotica so really i think this frequent comment is a sort of subconscious 'i am a fan of the tingleverse but could never PROUDLY be fan who actually reads his queer neurodivergent work, my appreciation MUST have a sheen of irony or winking'. nobody would ever say to stephen kings face 'i love you i am your biggest fan OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER READ YOUR BOOKS YOU GET THOUGH IT RIGHT?' anyway, really consider why you say this to chuck.

REGARDLESS it is JUST FINE buds. we are all on our own trot. i do not hold it against anyone and i understand we have our own journey. i am expressing how it makes me feel but i do not hold it against anyone who says this i have nothing but love for you buckaroos.

ALL THAT SAID since i am getting swarmed with these comments today thought it might be a good opportunity to challenge this notion. i am ONLY POSTING THIS ON TUMBLR because i think this group especially understand supporting art and artists and especially outsider queer neurodivergent arts.

if you are one of these buds who has appreciated my trot for years and never bought a book, or have made these comments without really considering what you are saying over and over again, now it the moment to REALLY support chuck with preorder of camp damascus. i have talked about WHY this timing is important here.

bud to bud, if you have the means to trot in this way and have said 'chuck is my favorite author i have never read' then what better time for the two of us to trot past this block together. NO JOKE, if just one out of ten of my tumblr followers alone preordered camp damascus it would likely hit the national bestseller lists and alter this timeline in unfathomable ways (not the least of which getting to update cover of harriet porber with a 'from national bestseller' banner).

anyway buckaroos, thank you for listening. i appreciate you so much whether you enjoy reading my tinglers or comment 'favorite author i have never read.' you ALL prove love and i cherish our trot together.

PREORDER CAMP DAMASCUS HERE

[winterzsurprise]

Change My Mind [6]

Pairing: BTS x reader

SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.

Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor

Words: 6.9k

If you weren't able to catch the author's note, update will be very slow due to my campus enrolling us to a government extracurricular that spans for three months so updates with be VERY slow until then. Sorry this one took long, had to remove one chunk out of this chapter so I could have it posted as soon as I could. Also ik the last chapter's ending was so rushed, I'll try to fix it once I get the time so for now, ignore that mess ;-;

EDIT: plenty of details edited out but nothing too important, also fixed a few mistakes.

Please vote Jimin in Visa Choice in MAMA voting and push Namseok to the top 10 for Fan's Choice award! STREAM I'LL BE THERE

<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>

________

“Noona, please… Just turn around…”

“I would if I could, but I'm at my limit here!”

“I will break your fingers if you don’t move.”

“Try it and I’ll tell Namjoon you were the one who spilled alcohol on the book he was reading the other day!”

“Just turn around damn it!”

“I already am! I'm not gonna take a fucking peak!”

You're living through a nightmare.

Never in your life did you think working as a make-up artist for an up-and-rising boy idol group would eventually lead you to where you are now; with half of your body out of the bathroom with an arm stretched inside to hold Jimin’s hand that's also reaching out for yours while he stands in front of the toilet.

What are you, Bangtan's—The current biggest boyband in the world—makeup artists doing, holding onto one of the member’s hands while he’s in the bathroom exactly?

Soulbond strain, that’s what the doctor had said. That's what caused the constant fatigue you and Jimin were feeling yesterday which eventually caused you both to pass out from exhaustion. Due to how ill-informed they are of both your marks, they weren't aware of how fragile your new bond was and how much touching should be involved for the first few days.

So now, you are sentenced—sentenced because having to hold your soulmate's hand while you piss, and eventually, shower and shit is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you—to nonstop skinship with Jimin for a week. Though after a few days, your body could withstand not holding his hand for almost a minute and you hoped it goes past an hour when the week finally ends.

Today marks the last day you both will be confined to the hospital as they've finally cleaned up one of the spare rooms in the dorm so you could move in.

You were so glad you could finally eat something more nutritious than bland soup. It should be a talent to be able to cook a soup so tasteless it would even make a white person frown despite the numerous vegetables and meat on them.

Since Jungkook's Birthday, you found yourself more often than not staring at the ceiling after eating, dreaming about eating other food so intensely it's like you could taste them in your buds.

A few days have passed since you found out you were soulmates with your best friends but you still couldn’t wrap your head around it.

The thought that these five—possibly seven depending on Seokjin and Hoseok’s test results later today—down to earth, aphrodite-blessed men with even more beautiful traits were tethered to you is bizarre. The idea never fails to short-circuit your brain every time you think about it. 

And it's hard not to, not when you wake up sleeping next to the peaceful face of South Korea’s IT boy—with his arms wrapped around you and his head nuzzled under your chin; Its something you’re still trying to get used to as you’ve never dared to sleep while cuddling with your friends, no matter how tired you might be. It was far too intimate of an act, reserved for those who are romantically involved and for someone with feelings as fickle as yours back then, it was inappropriate.

Not that it mattered much now but it's still difficult to be comfortable with the domesticity of it all.

Save for Taehyung and Seokjin, everyone else has continued working, although you had advised a weary looking Hoseok to take a break, he insisted that he's fine whilst practically dragging himself out of the room. Namjoon had assured you that he'll watch over his hyung but you had threatened Yoongi for extra measures. 

Speaking of work, your friends have been blowing up your phone since Jungkook's birthday, asking why they were required to sign a whole different NDA and you told them about your soulmates. 

All of them reacted positively, Minhyuk had even pleaded to hear about how you discovered and had asked to be informed of all the latest happenings, from the courting, dates, and even the bedroom—something you had promised to hit him for once you're back to work.

But for now, you were stuck with a foot out of the bathroom and body turned to the opposite with an arm stretched far out to hold Jimin's hand as he finished his business. 

So far, there's been no accidental flashing, to which you've been thankful for. The whole ordeal is already awkward as it is with only having to hear each other pee.

Jimin couldn’t even jokingly flirt with you the whole time, far too mortified with the idea of both parties being able to hear the stream of piss to even bother coming up with jokes to lighten up the situation, nor could you dare look into his eyes after the first few times you both had to go through this. You had refrained from eating too much in fear of having to shit during the week but you knew it would eventually happen.

Especially since you both have been greenlit to eat take outs and Seokjin had generously offered to buy you both food—bless that wonderful, handsome man—and dragged Taehyung out with him. 

You had been hesitant to make a few demands at first because do you even deserve the kindness Seokjin is showing you after hurting him for years? But the man proved himself devoted once more when he listed down the food you’ve been craving desperately for without hearing it from your lips.

(Tae had joked that maybe it's the soulmate mark manifesting a little late and Jimin elbowed him for that.)

You didn’t even get to tell him not to bother when he began to loudly chant gibberish as he pulled Taehyung out of the room with him.

After all the babying and princess treatment you've been receiving in the short time of knowing you were soulmates, it's hard not to feel frustrated having your best friends become your beck and call when they—save for Yoongi—hadn't been doing so for the past few years. It was somewhat pressuring that you could ask Jungkook to brush his teeth and immediately drink orange juice and he'd do it without question, if not gargling the juice for a little while longer just because you asked him to do it. 

From living alone and getting used to doing things by yourself, to suddenly having five people who'd follow your whims almost blindly, was overwhelming and slowly becoming more annoying than it is helpful.

If it wasn't for the guilt from getting irritated, you would've blown up on the first day when most of your soulmates had refused to let you stand up and walk around the room in fear of having you collapse.

Sure you had passed out from the soulbond strain but that same bond rendered you invulnerable to most things, you're not about to die walking around the room with Jimin, Yoongs.

You couldn't fault Jungkook and Tae for wanting to baby you. Jungkook never had someone to pamper and spoil, and Taehyung only had Jungkook; Even then, it wasn't in a romantic way and Jungkook was also being taken care of by the others so he didn't need to do much. His ex and him didn't last long enough for when BTS’ fame had skyrocketed and he had more money than he could ever spend in his life and is quickly running out of things to spend it on.

Still, it was hard to take all the coddling. It was better when they treated you with the distance platonic relationships had granted you.

The sound of a zipper broke through the awkward atmosphere before the flush of the toilet came. With a tug on your hand, you stepped back into the bathroom to follow Jimin to the sink so he could wash his hand, eyes still refusing to meet.

God, how did a friendship where he could literally strip off to his underwear in front of each other could turn so awkward like this?!

After spraying his hands with an overloading amount of alcohol—”Noona that’s overkill, I’ve already washed my hands.” “That’s just water, I’m not letting you touch me with a hand only washed with water!”— you and Jimin returned to the bed, huddled next to each other as you both scrolled on social media with both your bare legs thrown over his.

There's been comments left on your instagram page asking for Jimin's health and you decided to reply to one comment to say that he's fine and recovering. Silencing the app, you move to twitter when the door suddenly opens and in comes Seokjin holding up two plastic bags of takeout, flexing them as if they were golden medals and you sit up.

“Your handsome savior has arrived with fries and actually good food!”

“Hi noona!” Taehyung greets as he steps out of Jin's shadow.

“Jin you're actually the most good looking man I've ever seen in this forsaken planet, did you get me cheese and sour cream flav—”

“Of course I did,” He scoffed, putting down two paper bags and one drink carrier on your bedside table before placing the rest on the table near the bathroom door. “Who do you think I am?!”

“He almost ordered it all in cheese until I reminded him that you wanted sour cream too, noona.” Taehyung chimes in with a grin as he closes the door, a hand hidden behind his back while he holds a covered cup in the other. 

Seokjin snapped his head towards him with an indignant ‘Ya!’, to which Tae only giggled at.

“You bought that heinous, god awful sweet tea with my money! How could you do this to me?!”

“I offered to pay but you—”

“WITH MY MONEY!”

Everyone only laughed and Jin trudged over with Jimin’s lunch in hand, offering it with an outreached arm and he took it. At least, he tried to. Jin suddenly raised his hand over his head. You watched as Jin continuously teased Jimin whose reach is limited due to the need to be holding your hand. 

Jimin then finally got a grip on the plastic bag’s bottom and suddenly, their fishing game became a tug of war.

“Wait wait wait! You're going to tear it! It's going to spill!”

“Just fucking give it to me, hyung!” Jimin grunt, tugging one last time and the side of the bag rips, immediately Jin lets go.

“Why would you pull that hard?!”

Jimin ignored him in favor of pulling out his container, which he realized is overwhelmingly little compared to your three packages.

“Hyung!” He screams with his bottom lip jut out, dragging out the word. “How come I only have one food package? I'm also a patient, you know?!”

“You didn't request anything.” Jin says nonchalantly, shrugging.

“We've been together for years hyung! You should've known what I wanted like you did noona! This is blatant favoritism hyung!”

Seokjin ignored him, handing you a large bowl of mixed flavored fries, a large boba tea, and a plastic container where an aroma of caramelized fried chicken is leaking out of it the moment it leaves the paper bag. Next to you, Jimin scoffed, incredulous as he crossed his arms.

“She gets fried chicken, fries and boba but I only get Jajangmyeon?!” 

Once again, he ignored the younger man, rolling his eyes as Taehyung bounds up to his disgruntled best friend to reveal the half occupied half empty paper beverage carrier hidden behind his back, grinning widely as Jimin’s face morphs into disbelieving betrayal.

“Wow, so this is how we do things now, huh? I can’t believe you’d do this to me when I’m a patient!” 

“I’m so sorry, you poor poor thing.” Taehyung pouts as he offers out the food and Jimin spared no time in swiping the bag from him.

With their bicker finally coming to an end and Taehyung comfortably sitting crossed legs at the foot of you and Jimin’s bed, you turned to your food.

After eating nothing but bland, runny soup since the night at Jungkook’s birthday, tasting the cheddar almost made you tear up. You had taken advantage of the privilege of tasting far too long, being able to finally ingest something else felt euphoric, as if you were given the chance to walk through the garden of eden.

Exaggerated much but it's the only way you could explain the feeling.

Wasting no more time, you dug into the french fries bowl. 

You hear Seokjin whisper something underneath his breath, sounding incredulous. You watched as he crossed over to Taehyung and snatched his cup, ignoring the younger man’s indignant yelp and took a sip.

Instantly, the mixed taste of cheddar and sour cream was washed away by the familiar taste of Taehyung’s heinous tea preference of illegal amounts of tea and milk. The harsh difference of the three flavors along with the texture of fries gliding on your tongue makes you gag. Your soulmates react, Jimin placing his food down to place his cupped hands under you as if trying to catch your puke while Tae flinches, about to reach over until he sees his brother already positioned to help you and turns to fetch you a glass of water instead.

“You ate too fast noona, try to chew it first.”

“You ate too fast noona, try to chew it first.” You mimic in a tone far too high to be his and Jimin rolled his eyes.

“Why are you being so annoying today?”

“I’m sorry I’m getting cranky after someone disrupted me eating—” Your words abruptly end as Jin suddenly surged in to hug you.

You look at Taehyung who’s staring longingly at his tea still in Jin’s grasp behind you before turning to a similarly perplexed Jimin mid-bite of his tteokbokki. Raising an eyebrow at him, he responds with a shrug before continuing to stuff food into his mouth.

But as you rested both hands on his shoulders, Jin suddenly sniffled.

“Jin?”

Alert, you gently push him off and your eyes meet with his misty pairs, matched with a teary smile stretching plush red lips. Your heart leapt to your throat as both his hands cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead in under a second. But instead of getting a seizure or being struck with an overwhelming amount of pain, nothing happened.

Instead a warm feeling, akin to what the rest of your soulmates caused you, wrapped around you like a thick blanket and you froze.

Then, Jin stands with an excited yip and excused himself out of the room, leaving you and the others confused.

What?

You didn't need to look at Jimin or Tae to know they all had huge question marks hanging over their heads as they stared at where they last saw their hyung disappear out of the room.

Why didn't your body react from having someone kiss your forehead while your bonds were still unsettled? From what you've read, there's always a chance of it happening, yet even if your relationship with him stretched over years, there shouldn't be any reason why he's not causing you and Jimin pain.

Unless he's also a soulmate.

Immediately you were reminded of the time he had carried you and wondered why no one ever questioned why nothing fatal had happened when he had done that in the DFA. Even if it had everyone in a flurry of panic, someone should've noticed and questioned it right? Yoongi should have at least.

There was also that one time Hoseok had held your hand in the car, it was brief but it should've done something still with a Nexus bond as complicated and huge as yours. Yet like with Seokjin, nothing happened.

“What did I just watch?” Taehyung began and you wish you had the answer. “Did I just witness my soulmate get stolen by Seokjin hyung?”

“No,” Jimin says, eyes thoughtful as he looks at you before turning to the bathroom door. “I think we just discovered that hyung is also tethered to her.”

Both your head snapped to the man next to you.

In the small amount of time you stared at your soulmate, the pieces began to click as the cogs in your mind whirs with all the possibilities before it took you back to the moment the horrendous taste of Taehyung's tea violated your tongue. Your mouth falls into an ‘o’.

“Shared Tastebuds.” You mutter.

Jimin opens his mouth to ask you to elaborate when Seokjin reenters with a doctor following behind him, red faced but the blinding wide smile he wore was enough to make you forget he was crying not a second before. The doctor next to him looked ecstatic, eyes a little crazy at the newfound discovery.

“Congratulations, it seems that also Mr. Kim here is a part of your Nexus bond!” He says a little cheerily as he hugs the clipboard close to his chest. “It would do you all well to inform the rest of the group of this finding. From a professional standpoint, I do think that Mr. Jung has a huge chance of also being a part of your Nexus.”

To say you never had doubts that the other two members were a part of your nexus would be a lie, you had hoped they were but the absence of mark manifestation symptoms made it hard to believe they’ll be one of your soulmates.

Who knew all it took to find out if you and Jin were connected was eating while in the presence of each other? If you hadn’t fainted from the lack of food and the Soulbond strain, would you have found out about it earlier?

Was he the reason you’d taste the savory taste of a well-seasoned grilled meat or the sweet fizzling taste of a soda late at night yesterday?

Or is the bond you both have will allow for long distance sense sharing? There are two types of Shared Tastebuds after all.

“The results are due today right?” Jimin asks and the doctor turns to his watch.

“This afternoon I'm sure just before you both are discharged. But,” He turns to Jin. “For now I'll be taking Mr. Kim with me to register his soulbond and involvement in your Nexus.”

When they left again, the three of you remained unmoving, stunned. 

It must be Jimin’s touch that had kept you calm throughout the revelation because you didn’t know how to react. There’s no doubt joy in the hurricane of emotions swirling in your chest, as well as the pacifying effect from both your and Jimin’s touch overwhelming the rising stress and conflict at the back of your head, forcing and pushing them back into the shadows.

You knew you should be stressing over the possibilities of having seven soulmates and how you’d divide your time to be able to equally spend time with everyone, it was already difficult having five these past few days. More often than not, you found yourself suffering a headache caused by the constant noise and overwhelming sensations each individual soulmarks gave you. 

From the constant sounds of Namjoon’s heartbeat at the back of your head, and Jimin’s touch making your skin thrum, even the Amoneuron in your blood is having a hard time keeping you away from soulbond hyperactivity.

Someone’s phone erupted into a shrill scream, it was Taehyung’s. Picking it up, he automatically puts it on speaker and holds the end of the phone close to his mouth. 

“Is it true? Please tell me it’s not true! I’m already competing with most of my hyungs for noona’s time!”

“This isn’t a competition, gguk.” Yoongi drawled in the background. “Didn’t we already establish that? No fighting for her hear—”

“What soulmark do they have?!” 

“Manager Sejin is already on the way with a lawyer to handle the legal side of things, how are you guys doing right now? Is noona good?” Namjoon asks, sounding closer to the mic.

“She didn't faint if that's what you're asking about. If anything,” Taehyung turns to you. “She looks a little out of it.”

“How did it happen? Is it the test? Is it out already?” Hoseok's voice came through, nervous.

“Yeah we'll deliver it to you later also, remember hyung complaining about tasting something weird? Apparently he was tasting the hospital special soup—”

_______

On your dismissal, the doctor had handed the eldest their test results. Seokjin had thrown him out since he already knew what it'll entail but held on protectively on Hoseok's envelope.

Jimin had proposed a small celebration for the mark's manifestation for everyone, nothing too grand, just a few take outs appropriate for tomorrow’s dinner—because Jungkook and Tae had requested pancakes and waffles for whatever reason—and a small cake. 

With five—not counting Jimin as he insisted that you both sit the activity out and Hoseok who visited his sister but promised to return the next day to read his result at dinner—men at your disposal, boxing up and moving your items into their dorm was easy, even if Yoongi has noticeably slowed down the stairs carrying the same one box he’s picked up since earlier; not that you’d call him out on it but you knew Seokjin and Jimin would to do it instead.

If it wasn't for Jungkook's eagerness to have you move in, it would have taken you all longer than you had today.

It was surreal seeing the items in your home slowly decrease, the mass on your shelves and all the personality of every room disappear with every box filled. You had been staying in the same apartment since you were 21, to have its familiar sights and spots be slowly stripped off of its glow felt sadder than you thought it would be.

BigHit had requested your company friends do all the basic packing such as your clothes and products while you were at the hospital, it wasn't forced but they acted like it was anyway. They (read: Minhyuk and Nabi) had jokingly complained about being tasked with doing things your soulmates should’ve been doing, Minhyuk going as far as threatening to sneak off something into one of the boxes and you feared for your life for what that something might entail.

You offered to buy them anything they want the next time you all visit the mall in exchange for their full cooperation and Minhyuk had vowed to run your bank dry with a sly grin.

“It's not like you’d even need them anymore when you’ve got the world’s biggest boyband as your soulmates, might as well spend your hard earned money on important things; friends, especially me though.”

You wouldn't deny the fact that you tried dating Guwon with the hopes of living lavishly without lifting a finger but the world would have to bathe in fire and water before you'd let them buy you expensive things outside of food; that you accept because you'd be able to taste and experience delicious dishes. Not to mention, it's practical.

Having your furniture moved out as well was out of the question after an hour of argument with Jimin and Jin who insisted on having you buy new decorations, except for the books, trinkets, and plethora of BTS collection you were given by the members themselves every comeback.

You argued that you didn’t need them to buy new furniture when you already have working ones.

But that argument was easily disproved when the maknaes (plus you as an unwilling participant and Namjoon because: "hyung you’re big, we need to weight test it!") had jumped into your bed and the frames creaked and trembled.

He was right, as much as it pains you to accept it.

But just because he's right doesn't mean you agree with him.

In the end, with one against eventually all of them, you were due for furniture shopping with Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon the next day. Today though, you were bunking with Jimin due to the need for constant skinship and the lack of bed in your new room.

You spent the better half of the afternoon unboxing and filling your closet with your items which barely filled two shelves out of six that were bolted onto the wall of the small well-lit room.

“Noona, your closet is a bit… barren.”

“The closets are just huge, I have plenty.”

“I’m concerned that you think this is plenty.” He says, thumbing the material of your cream cardigan.

“Don't you fucking dare Park Jimin.”

He smiled. “Who says I'm the one who'll do the buying? I don’t gift clothes noona, you should know that.”

After finding out your and Jin’s soulmark, you had thought deciding what you ate for dinner until the bond settled would be a hassle or until you both learn how to disable it. But Jin had simply agreed on your choices that night with a shrug of his shoulder.

And that amount of trust in whatever you’ll pick scares you in ways you never thought it would.

It's just a simple decision, one would say, but the ugly voices at the back of your head wondered if you even deserve this amount of consideration from him when you hadn’t noticed his lingering feelings for you for years.

But it seems like that fact has long been swept under the rug when the maknaes bounded up to you with mischief in their eyes.

Upon the realization that their Jin hyung would agree to almost anything you’d eat for a while, Jungkook and Taehyung wasted no second running up to you to propose the idea of ordering you a strawberry ice cream for dessert, claiming it was the only way to test their hyung’s love for her.

“You see noona, if hyung really loves you like he said he does, he would suck it up like the man he is.” Jungkook had reasoned to you with Taehyung nodding behind him and Jimin grinning mischievously next to you.

Fortunately for Jin, you don’t think forcing him to taste strawberry flavored things on the day he found out he wasn’t untethered would be a good decision despite the loud voice at the back of your head goading you to follow through their plan for fun.

But you promised the maknaes that you’ll do it someday.

Dinner was surprisingly uneventful with a few talks about the schedule changes and the rumors Jungkook had read and heard from his small friend group outside his brothers. If it wasn’t for the soft glow of gold at the edge of your vision from where your foot is resting on top of Jimin’s under the table and the faint outline of the red string of fate stretching across to Yoongi’s right pinkie, you would’ve tricked your brain into thinking it was a normal dinner with your friends.

With the words streaming out of Jungkook’s mouth, Tae and Jimin’s additional information and the scandalous gasp and widened eyes around the table once the pieces began to form a picture, you almost thought it was an average weekly dinner with your bosses.

But soon enough, plates are taken into the kitchen and Jimin is already pulling you up to your room, saying how he wants to take a shower and that you should take your toiletries.

Something you had dreaded since you heard the doctor had sentenced you to be in constant skinship with Jimin.

Why are you even nervous?! You had seen him and his brothers in their boxers from being one of their make up artists yet your heart had been thudding loudly in your ears the moment you had entered his room with your travel bag in hand.

Turns out, there was a truth in the saying “Ignorance is bliss” in the fact that knowing something could alter the way you think and perceive even the smallest of actions. In your case, knowing Jimin's your soulmate while facing the dilemma of showering together had you completely fucked up.

On the verge of a breakdown, half a foot on the ledge and the other hanging over the fall.

You had swam in public pools with him before but it was always with the presence of others, to be alone in a small room in nothing but your undies while maintaining skinship with your soulmate—

Isn't that a bit too intimate?

Will you even survive?

To stand half naked in a minimal space alone with Jimin, your heart might just collapse.

Seeing him in his underwear shouldn't faze you as much as it should. He and the others has stripped in front of you in a haste of changing into the next costume for the next performance but in the minimal space of his bathroom where you both are secluded away from the other dwellers of the building and he's already topless and is now unbuttoning and sliding the zippers of his jorts, the mass in your throat kept on thickening with the tension in the air.

Your eyes roamed the soft, flatness of his stomach; from up his lightly freckled bare chest and down to the thin trail of hair down his abdomen. The prominent bones of his adonis belt had your throat drying up.

Seeing him topless shouldn't affect you the way it should yet you found yourself heating up at the sight of them.

When he begins to remove his pants, you force yourself to look away, cheeks burning hot as you thumb the top buttons of your—Taehyung’s—polo before beginning to undo them all with your heart thudding loudly in your ears.

The string tied to your finger lights up in a rhythmic beat, persistent and hurried. Wrapping your fingers around it, Yoongi's loud concern immediately washes over your body. You respond to him by pushing down reassurance down the lane and the thread dulls from one side.

“Did hyung contact you?”

You turn to Jimin, already stripped down to his boxers.

God is really testing you today, putting a handsome man in his underwear in front of you and tempting you to let your gaze fall down for a glimpse of his thick muscled thighs you always saw through the fabric of his skinny jeans.

“Ye-yeah, nothing to worry about though. Give me your foot, I need to remove my shirt.”

Obediently, he puts his foot forward and you step on it before making quick work of your shirt. You feel his burning gaze roam your skin and you shiver from its intensity.

By the time you had your pants pooling on the floor alongside his, your heart is thudding uncontrollably in a way that might concern Namjoon at how fast it's going.

Why is the calming effect of Jimin's touch absent when you need it?

“Ready to go?” 

You almost jumped at how hoarse his voice had gotten but recovered quickly and nodded, stepping first into the shower and twisting the valve towards the hotter temperature. Jimin hissed the moment the water touched his skin, breaking the stifling tension for a moment.

“How are your skin not burning off?! It's so hot!”

You rolled your eyes. “You're being dramatic, it's not that hot.”

“It is! The mirror is literally steaming!” He exclaimed, pointing at the long horizontal mirror above the sink which is indeed, fogging up. 

Jimin then leaned over, his naked chest touching your back. Goosebumps prickled your skin and you barely stopped the urge to shiver as he manipulated the valve until he was satisfied with the temperature. When he steps back, you finally let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding.

Hearing your exhale, he laughed lightheartedly. The fucker did it on purpose.

Trying to ignore the thumps of your racing heart, you busied yourself with the task of washing your hair. You reached for the shampoo bottle and popped open the cap, body still facing the wall.

“Noona.”

You looked over your shoulder and Jimin was scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“Can I wash your hair for you?” He shyly asks, his sly attitude from earlier nonexistent. “I've never done that with someone else before. I-I’ve always wanted to do that now and now that we're soulmates, I was–I was wondering if maybe I–we could—”

“Not even with that girl you’ve dated before?”

He shook his head. “We were too busy to do something like that, noona. Idol lives and all that. It's one of the reasons why we broke up.”

“She was pretty nice though.”

His lips quirks up. “Don’t get jealous noona, you’re my soulmate after all.”

You hit his shoulder and he brought his arms up to shield himself, giggling. “Do you want to wash each other’s hair or not?!”

Despite your agreement, you were beyond nervous as you handed him the shampoo and turned around to shut the shower off. The string on your finger thrummed once more, still concerned as your heart leapt up to your throat when Jimin's fingers began to thread and scrape his nails against your scalp.

A thrill of pleasure shoots down your spine and you hold back the urge to mewl as he begins to put more pressure on his motions.

It stayed like that for a while and you reveled in the pure domesticity of it all. 

When Jimin retracts his hands, you reach for his shampoo and order him to turn around.

“What if I don't want to?” He challenges with a mischievous smirk.

“If it gets in your eyes, it's your fault.”

He giggled and shrunk down to your height, to which you hit his shoulder for and he laughed, standing back up. 

“Can you even reach the top of my head like this?”

“Fine but don't complain about your knees hurting, you wanted this.” You jokingly say as he bends his knees once more, a playful lilt in his eyes.

Once you lathered the shampoo enough, you began. 

You’ve seen multiple couples on screen shower together and had once wondered how it’d felt having someone to help reach the spots you couldn’t as well as do those domestic things such as brushing your teeth together and just washing each other in general. The actors always made them natural and romantic, with the soft lighting bouncing off their skin and their laughter ringing in the small space.

But showering with Jimin is anything you’ve ever thought of.

Against the other members, Jimin is easily dwarfed by them, matched with the constant jokes about his height, it's easy to forget that the man is still taller than the average man. He towered over you, his eyes intense and lit with a playful sultriness. His lips twisted into a mischievous smirk as he bent his knees low enough where you could touch the top of his head without risking a stiff neck or standing on your tiptoes.

He’s peering up at you yet you feel smaller under his gaze.

He had always done this, getting into your face while you retouched his makeup. In a way, it was nice that you’re slowly regaining the normalcy 

But it's not appreciated when he’s doing it when you’re already fighting demons trying so hard not to ogle at his body and explode from how flustered you are.

“Are you seriously getting flushed now noona? We’ve done this plenty of times already, why now?”

Is he seriously asking you that?

He laughed. Your thoughts must’ve reflected on your face.

“Didn’t know you’d be affected by something as normal as this. Don’t you see us naked at least every other day?” He asks with a quirk to his eyebrow and you narrowed your eyes further at him.

“You know damn well why,” You say, slapping his shoulder before turning to open the shower once more. Laughing when the water burst open above him, cutting him off from replying.

With the tension dissolving with the shampoo on his hair, a playful grin replaced the coy smirk and with his newly washed hair, he grabbed your arms in an iron grip and began to shake his head at you, flicking water from his hair and onto you.

When he was done, he then pulled you into the stream with a bubbling laugh as he watched the shampoo suds dissolve with the water. But with both your arms pinned in place, you weren't able to wipe your eyes and had them closed the moment he had you under the shower head.

“I'm—I’m going to put chili in your fucking water, I can't see!”

With sorrys in between fits of giggles, Jimin reached up to wipe your face for you when he realized this.

Shower with Jimin sailed smoothly from that point on. After his teasing, he made no more attempts to fluster you, even when he was scrubbing your back a little longer than it should've taken. 

He had, however, made comments on how many steps there are for you to shower.

“Why do you need to shampoo twice, use soap AND body wash? It’s not like you’d ever get sick anymore when I’m here.”

You just rolled your eyes and told him to leave if he’s going to complain about your routine. Eventually though, you speed through your routine due to him whining about how he’s starting to feel cold, lightheaded—to which he dramatized by leaning his hurting head on your shoulder—, and is suddenly sleepy.

Changing into your pajamas was a little hard as you attempted to do it all under the safety of a towel while also maintaining skinship with Jimin every other ten seconds who's also doing the same.

You managed somehow and soon enough, you both situated yourselves into the bed, with your legs thrown over his and backreading the bangtan gc that had awakened the moment Jimin had his phone.

Surprisingly, even Jungkook was active.

           [21:24] Mimi: It's so weird tae            [21:24] Mimi: I’ve never seen someone use soap AND body wash THEN washes their hair t w i c e            [21:24] Hoba: I do that…            [21:25] Mimi: That’s expected hyung, you’re a neat freak.            [21:25] You: Why are you so weird about me being clean?!            [21:26] Mimi: ITS PSYCHOPATH BEHAVIOR            [21:26] Jinnie: hoba I think he just called you a psychopath            [21:26] Hoba: 🙁            [21:27] Ggukie: NOW YOU MADE HYUNG SAD            [21:27] Hoba: 🙁            [21:27] Hoba: you think im weird jimin-ah?🙁            [21:27] Yoongs: why is this even a conversation            [21:27] Joonie: Jimin just because you don’t do it, doesn’t mean it's unorthodox.            [21:28] Minnie: you’re one of them, are you hyung?!            [21:28] Tete: I still cant believe Jimin just showered with noona…            [21:28] Tete: why are we breezing through that information?            [21:28] Jinnie: ok so lets not talk about that            [21:29] Jinnie: what do you want for breakfast, beautiful?

Reading his message felt like cold water dousing you awake and you’re suddenly attacked by a wave of guilt.

Is it okay for you to even make demands like this? Do you even deserve being Seokjin’s dearest?

“Ask him for waffles, I'm craving for them.” Jimin says, his voice slicing through your thoughts and you turn back to your phone.

           [21:29] Ggukie: ask me too hyung!            [21:29] Jinnie: alright I’ll bite            [21:29] Jinnie: what do you want brat?            [21:30] Ggukie: noona’s love :DD

You watched as Jin’s profile pic pop up and came down multiple times, and each time they do, your and Jimin’s giggles multiply.

           [21:32] Jinnie: I’m blocking you            [21:32] Joonie: I should have you kicked out for that stupid, corny ass joke oh my god            [21:32] Yoongs: that activated my fight or flight            [21:32] Yoongs: don’t do that again            [21:32] Ggukie: hyung ask me again            [21:32] Ggukie: promise I’ll respond properly this time :]            [21:33] Jinnie: Y/N?            [21:33] Ggukie: HYUNG            [21:33] Minnie: she says she wants waffles :>            [21:33] Jinnie: I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth, Park Jimin            [21:34] Minnie: D:            [21:34] You: I want scrambled eggs and pancakes :D

“Betrayal!”

“You shouldn’t have played around earlier then.” 

“You shouldn’t have played around earlier then. Give me that!” You stretch your arm away from him but Jimin was faster, managing to pluck your phone from your grasp and moving to place it on his side of the floor.

Without hesitation, you launched yourself at his hand making him yelp before it dissolved into giggles when you managed to catch him and had curled up around his arm, fingers attempting to pry him away from your phone.

It was how Tae had found you both in and immediately lept in, taking your side the moment he had seen you and Jimin tussled for your phone. 

With Tae’s help, you were able to take back your phone only to see that it had locked itself from the many times the screen had picked up on both you and Jimin’s palms and had typed in the wrong combination after the other. For that, you slapped his arm.

“What did I do wrong?! It’s not my fault the stupid phone couldn’t differentiate between palm and fingers!”

“If I wasn’t required to touch you, I’d have you kicked out of this room.”

Jimin pushed himself up, face incredulous. “This is literally my room.”

“Next week you should sleep in my room instead, noona. I’d love to have you there.” Taehyung says, pulling you to his chest and side-eyeing his friend. “I wouldn’t be as mean as Jiminie.”

“Why am I getting disrespected in my own room? Is it gang up on Jimin day?!”

“When is it not gang up on Jimin day?”

“Why you—GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

TAGLIST: @wildestdreamsblog @canarystwin @prettywheenicry @jmnscutie @sassy-snassy @misuguru @11thenightwemet11 @yoongibaybee @rinkud @bri602 @igetcarriedawaywithyou @marvel-potter-1d-korea @comingupwithacoolnameishard @sooha-neul @juju-227592 @coffeewanderer @x-uno @diamonddia-mond @eggsysstuff @dearmyfavoritepeople-bts @sld88 @katsukis1wife

[wandixx]

Greeting comrades,

I’m Wandixx, a history enthusiast, baby writer and budding artist. Grab your tea/coffee/juice or whatever else beverage you favor and let’s go!

I’m part of the DPxDC fandom so my fics are from here. And this list exists so we all can find anything on this blog, welcome!

Here is my AO3:

My finished fics/prompt fills:

“Blood Blossom”:

Desperate times require desperate solutions. When, after escaping GIW, Danny gets trapped by the Justice League, he has only one way to get out of it. Eating a Blood Blossom. (this one includes a sad and happy ending!)

“Contingencies”:

Danny lives with Bats and it all seems to go pretty well. Until they find his contingency plans, including ones against himself, that were just over glorified suicide to-do list. How the hell are they supposed to handle that (that’s a chunky boi, over 20k)

“Ghost of fries and hero of cookies”

Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay Or Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of a local hero? And he looked like he needed a bad day combo anyway. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, art AO3 link

“Reverse summoning”:

It’s always DC characters summoning Danny. How about we do this another way around? Danny was desperate for a mentor and help (and some cold medicine). How- What- Why is Wonder Woman standing in his bedroom? 

“Unknown, the Wandering Hero”:

Unknown was who Justice League called the friendly anonymous hero, who kept helping them with ghosts. Only one with powers working on them. It just turns out, they were much younger than everyone expected. Danny went through a lot lately and the less people knew who he was, the less likely he was to return to the operating table.

Actively posted fics:

"You'll never find the answers"

M'gann was having an amazing day. She met with her civilian friends, drank an amazing smoothie, saw a cute dog. For a few hours, she didn't have to think about problems that took more than 20 minutes to solve. For a few hours, she could just be Megan. And then there was a scream of a woman, mother, who thought too loud and faded too fast and M'gann wasn't enough to save her and it made her whole world come crashing down. And then Danny found her, with a soft smile and patient voice. He kneeled beside her to pick up the pieces. And shards cut them both in the process. 1, 2, 3 AO3 link Art by Clockworkclown

"GIW made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was going against Young Justice" (may change hah)

Young Justice wanted a chill afternoon for once, hanging out at amusment park. And then, Danny was attacked by some freaks in white suits. Well, it seems there are villains to make fun of and... did somone mention ✨an evil lab✨? part 1

Stuff that I shared snippets of:

"Danny and Wally are chaos incarnate"

"Dani's dress-up game and Batman's rouge gallery" (also known as "serious chaos one-shot snippet")

"GIW made a lot of mistakes and the biggest one was going against Young Justice" part 1

"Danny, the Young Justice member" random ideas part 1, part 2

The stuff I have somewhere on paper and would love to share if asked.

Make yourself at home, and I hope you’ll like it here!

[gabessquishytum]

Penniless Artist Dream doesn't have a choice but to take a position as house staff/live-in tutor for Widower Hob's Robin/sell the last of his art supplies for the livery for the job, and while he knows he didn’t have a choice, working on anything not his art makes him very sad.

And he's convinced that Master Gadling (No, Dream is not going to call him Hob) only gave him the position out of pity - which Dream can't abide.

Hob thinks Dream is fantastic! A fantastic artist and person; and so good with Robin. Hob doesn't know how, but he's going to figure out a way for Dream to start doing his art again....Hob's okay if Robin becomes an artist. The finger paintings and hand turkeys that Dream has him making are so great! Hob has kept all of them.

I can't decide if this is Regency-y or Modern Times-y, because Robin+Dream Art would live in a place of honor on Hob's fridge; but Old Time-y Hob getting all the canvases framed at expense and put in places of honor all over the house,,,,,that's totally a thing too.

AND when Dream finally gets back to his art and does a best selling gallery series with Robin's little Gadling handprints all in them,,,Hob would give it to him soooooo good.

Omg. We absolutely need artist Dream with Hob as his patron!! And lil Robin as his biggest fan!! And hey, I cant resist a little regency au in my life *winks at @seiya-starsniper *

Dream is a good tutor, but Hob can see that he's an even better painter. He wants to see Dream thrive and flourish! And so he causally offers him a commission: he wants a painting of a particular view from one of his favourite spots on his estate. Dream is hesitant at first, but Hob persuades him gently. Robin is still quite little, so he doesn't need Dream to be teaching him all the time. Hob can take him out for rides and play with him while Dream works on his art! He's missed playing with his little man anyway, so really Dream will be doing him a huge favour. And so, mostly because the money is too good to resist, Dream gives in.

He paints a magnificent landscape and Hob gushes about how much he loves it. He hangs it in the most important place in the house and makes all his guests look at it. He offers Dream more commissions and Dream can't resist Hob’s puppyish enthusiasm. He paints and paints and teaches Robin at the same time, until the boy is quite the budding little artist. Hob is so proud!

He even suggests that they should send one of Dream’s pictures off to the royal exhibition in London. Dream is very hesitant but Hob is persuasive, and he's got nothing to lose: Hob is paying all the fees. Dream just has to wait and see. When they find out that Dream’s painting is going on display, Hob pulls Dream into his arms and squeezes him, practically lifting him off the ground! He can't wait to take Dream and Robin to see the exhibition! No doubt, he's got it bad for his artist.

They make love for the first night in Hob’s London home, trying to be quiet so nobody will hear. Dream puts his lovely slim fingers in Hob’s mouth and muffles his moans into Hob’s chest, both of them completely floating away on a wave of love and joy. Hob wakes in the morning to the sight of Dream, sketchbook in hand, drawing out his naked form. They're both covered in charcoal by the time they're finished.

Dream isn't exactly a roaring success in London, but he picks up a few commissions from those who saw his painting at the exhibition. It's a huge improvement on his former situation, and he has plenty of room to grow. Although it may be difficult to persuade Hob to let anyone else buy the paintings - he's a liiiiittle possessive. And he'll always worship everything Dream creates <3

[olderthannetfic]

I think the biggest benefit of fancy art school courses is the required critique element where you and your peers basically sit together and rip each others works to shreds (within reason, a good art school will teach you how to give proper critique as much as to receive it) because Holy shit. I used to be terrified of anyone seeing my work because what if they didn’t like it? What if I poured my soul into something and everyone thought it was trash? But going through that on a weekly basis, including for collaborative projects where I was being roasted over whether or not I had accurately and properly understood my peers requests of me was… life-changing, in a good way. I got thicker skin. I learned how to filter criticism to the stuff I could actually work on from it. I learned how to approach telling someone else their work might suck in a way where they could actually listen.

Art school isn’t the be all end all if you want to be an artist, but there’s something to be said for an environment where you and a bunch of other hobbyist 20 somethings who want to go pro someday and are all forced to be sorta mean to each other for ten minutes a week and forced to learn how to Deal With That in a way that just makes you wanna create even MORE artwork afterwards. Met some lovely professors there too who were very encouraging after the first critique “I’m never drawing again” breakdown responses half the students had.

--

If only they were all run well!

I think one thing brutal critique can also teach you is that good critique is an art form, and your classmates are often petty idiots expressing their personal feelings about you or the bad day they're having more than anything useful about your actual work. (A good professor will nip this nonsense in the bud, of course, but they don't always.)

The more important part is getting you out of the "But if I could just explaaaaain" mindset and into the "The audience doesn't care about my excuses" one, but recognizing that a lot of critique is just junk is valuable too.

[starcrossedjedis]

Look, I never really got emotionally attached to Bridgerton as a show, which is also why I never went and read the books, but the sneaky peeks these days remind me how very attached I was to my three "Spinster Society" OCs and their storylines 🥹

Ms. Kitty Turner - illegitimate bastard daughter of the late Lord Bridgerton's brother, who - following a string of rather sad events - happened to grow up with her flock of picture perfect Bridgerton cousins.

When it's time for her cousin Daphne to debut, her cousin Anthony as new head of the family makes the decision not to let Kitty debut alongside his sister.

Worried both about what the merciless gossip machine of the ton might do to her and about what such a ruckus could do to Daphne's prospects, he thinks it best to keep her on the periphery of things.

Alas, Queen Charlotte has other ideas ("I believe we are missing a young lady today...") and commands Kitty debuts along with the others.

The young lady in question however is less than thrilled. She had been looking forward to spending the season in peace and with her two best friends. Learning that Poppy is in France and won't be joining them is bad enough, now she has to prance around like a show pony and make nice with spoiled young men who either wouldn't court her even if their life depended on it or who see her as nothing but an exotic notch to put on her belt.

And when it seems that the rakish Duke of Hastings is making the moves on her very innocent cousin, Kitty fears that this season she really has her work cut out for her...

(In which the scene in the maze really is just a misunderstanding and a certain someone declares his intention to marry a certain bastard in front of the Queen and a crowd of people expecting him to propose to The Diamond™️. Also no one is being raped in this one and pulling out is not contraception, thank you ☝️)

Ms. Poppy Featherington (yes, I know Poppy is also an abbreviation for Penelope shhhht 🤫) - the oldest Featherington daughter used to be her mother's favourite, mostly because the ton was certain that out of all the sisters she was the most likely to strike a notable match. Her mother even harboured hopes that she might be the one to finally tie that inseparable bond with the Bridgertons, when her eldest daughter stroke up a surprising friendship with the future Viscount.

But following her debut season - a season without a match, might we add - she did not return to the ton the following year, chosing instead to study in France, according to her mother.

When she returns for what is supposed to be the season of Miss Edwina Sharma, she is a changed woman - earnest and almost reclusive, without patience for her mother's meddling to intervene with Anthony's and Edwina's budding courtship and opening up only to her best friend Kitty - the new Duchess of Hasting - and her cousin Charlie.

But even they aren't privy to her biggest secret - and the real reason she was missing from the merry and the crazy of the ton for so long...

Mr. Charlie Featherington - cousin of the Featherington bunch, oldest member of the "Spinster Society" and a definite favourite of the ton in recent seasons.

Alas, where in the first few years people were aghast as to why someone like him - handsome and kind, with a sweet smiley and dreamy eyes - hadn't found himself a wife yet, more recently hushed rumours have been starting to circulate behind close doors as to why the young man might not be in a hurry to marry.

Benedict Bridgerton - fully occupied by his family's own dramas and scandals and thus blissfully unaware of most of the ton's secrets, lies and cause for rage - is happy to find a likeminded friend in passionate writer and artistic soul Charlie, as well as someone who is not afraid to be frank about his opinions on Benedict's art.

But soon Benedict sees reason to question Charlie's feelings for him - and yet more importantly, the way he feels about the sweet, young man who seems to be so utterly at peace with the implications of living out his days a "Bachelor".

[orbitalsockets]

Friendly reminder that you can accommodate things to make witchcraft easier. The only realm where it would be difficult to do so is high end ritualism, but for my pals with ADHD I don't recommend that route because the intense planning makes my executive dysfunction kick into overdrive. There's a reason Hundreds of cultures around the world have different practices requiring different effort across hundreds of years - What may work for one society may not or will not work for another, and that same practice applies to witchcraft on an individual level. With that, I want to share the biggest thing that's helped my brain:

I keep my grimoire digitally. I cannot tell you how many journals dedicated to the Occult I've kept over 10+ years and I have never completely finished one. I get too in my own head about how it should look, how I should format the pages, if I want to be more artistic or more plain in my pages, and I get so overwhelmed with choices and the fear that I'm somehow keeping it "wrong" that the journal ends up sitting on my shelf. Digitally, I use Evernote and keep my grimoire as a separate Notebook. My spells and tinctures/balms are kept as recipe cards, my notes are kept however I feel like doing them in that moment and I have the relief of knowing that if I want to change it, I don't have to start an entire new page or journal. I transcribed all of my journal pages over to the app and the sheer relief I've had in being able to have a more forgiving format of keeping my grimoire has made me feel so much more comfortable in my practice.

"Keeping a journal is more personal" so essays written in Word about deep rooted personal experiences aren't personal because they were written digitally? Of course not, that would be absurd. I comprehend that keeping a physical journal is supposed to hold more power and symbology for witchcraft, but you drain yourself of your power by repeatedly plunging yourself into stress over your Grimoire. Not to mention, if you're in the broom closet it's infinitely safer to go digital than to have a journal - Something that would have saved me a lot of grief as a budding teen witch had I not been convinced that I was less than others if I kept it on my phone or laptop.

With that being said, I don't think digital is better than physical journals or vice versa - I know what works for me may not for someone else and I don't judge that. I just know what's best for me and my brain and I've finally decided to listen to that instead of insisting to myself that it needs to be like everyone else despite no other part of my practice being held to the same standard in my mind. Do what's best for you, not what the internet is saying is the Only Way™ to do things.

[mjj-nostalgia]

"This Song's For You" || Michael Jackson One-Shot

Imagine you are also a famous singer. You and Michael tried to be together but it didn't work out. One night at an award show, you sing a ballad that is about him. Michael looks on at you with regret.

Back at it again with another one-shot! lol Again, I did not to use gender/appearance defining characteristics but I did write this with a fem!reader in mind. However, as always, (Y/N) can be just about anyone ;)

Also the song (Y/N) sings is In Case by Demi Lovato - I'm not a songwriter so I couldn't think of any lyrics on the spot lol. This is also one of my favorite ballads. I recommend it!

It was 1980. You and Michael were both at your own levels of fame - him perhaps a bit more than you. You were up and coming and quite popular as you had an amazing voice for any ballad. Michael, of course, was a force all his own. He was not quite at his peak yet, but the fans were already chasing him and watching his every move. The two of you had had a budding winter romance toward the end of 1978 into 1979. Everyone thought that perhaps you were finally the one Michael was going to settle down with. All of his older siblings had pretty much all already married and had at least one child so far. Michael was getting old in terms of husband material - except he really wasn’t. Truthfully, both of you being 20 at the time of your relationship was young in the grand scheme of life. The both of you were also young and dumb for different reasons. Michael wasn’t taking your relationship as seriously as you thought he should. And you were a bit bratty and emotional sometimes still, which made the both of you clash. Not to mention the traveling - at this point in history there still wasn’t a great way to contact someone except for a phone call. Even then, you were at the mercy of them being home or near the phone to answer it. All this to say, things simply got to be too much and you broke up with each other. It was a bit of a dramatic spat that ended with you storming out and Michael trying to call you several times over the course of the next couple of weeks. Because of this, Michael recorded ‘She’s Out Of My Life’ for his album Off The Wall, which was released in August 1979. You also released an album near the end of that year, with your own heartbreak anthem on it.

The stage was set. January 1980 at the American Music Awards. You were both nominated and you were also going to be performing your hit song. You sat backstage as you waited for you to be introduced. You were never so nervous. This was the biggest event for you yet and your ex-boyfriend, in which the song you were about to sing was written about, was in the crowd. Talk about pressure! You walked over to the backside of the curtains. The makeup artist touched up your powder and made sure your hair was perfectly quaffed. You thanked them. Then suddenly:

“It’s my pleasure to introduce to the stage - (Y/N)!” The announcer said, pointing his hand toward you enthusiastically. He left the stage.

The lights dimmed. A single spotlight hit the stage where a single microphone stood. Your piano player began playing the ballad. You stepped out of the curtains as they opened and walked into the spotlight. You were wearing a tight black floor length dress adorned with shiny sequins and black gloves. Your jewelry was silver and bulky on your neck and wrists. The spotlight reflected these items and caught everyone’s attention, especially Michael’s. 

“Pictures in my pocket, 

All faded from the washer,

I can barely just make out your face,..” You began to sing. You tried not to scan the crowd for him. But it was no use. Your eyes locked with his as you got to the beginning of the course.

“I know, one day, eventually, 

Yeah, I know,

One day I’ll have to let it all go,...” You sang toward him before you looked away.

Michael looked down. He couldn’t bear to look at you and couldn’t bear to hear the words coming out of your mouth. He tried not to get emotional in front of the entire crowd but it was also no use. 

Then you belted out the next part of the song, using your beautiful and powerful voice to wow the crowd.

“In case, you don’t find what you’re looking for,

In case, you’re missing what you had before,

In case you change your mind, 

I’ll be waiting here in case, you just want to come home…,

In case…,” You sang.

The crowd was in awe. 

Michael looked back up, noticing you were no longer looking at him. He looked incredibly sad and was full of regret. But, the words offered him some sort of hope for reconciliation. 

As you got to the end of the song, you belted out the lyrics with your powerful voice once more.

“In case, you’re looking in that mirror one day,

And miss my arms, how they wrapped around your waist,

I say, you can love me again,

Even if it isn’t the case,” You sang, tears coming to your eyes.

As you finished the song, the crowd erupted with applause and cheers. You walked back from the microphone for a moment before you smiled politely to the room. You put your hands behind your back and bowed. When you stood back up, your eyes met with Michael’s again. He was clapping and smiling softly at you. He was proud of you. You gave him a bit of a nod.

A little while later, you were backstage, drinking some much needed water and chatting with some other younger famous adult women. The award show had ended and Michael was going home with three wins, while you were going home with one. You were having a great time until the ladies you were talking to got quiet and gave each other, and you, a mischievous look.

“What?” You asked. Your back was facing toward the room.

“I think someone’s here to see you,” One of the them said. 

You blinked and turned around. 

Michael was standing shyly with his hands in his pockets. He smiled softly.

“Hey,” He said.

“Hey, you,” You said in return.

The ladies you were chatting with quickly walked away to give the two of you some space. You crossed your arms and smiled softly at him.

“You did amazing out there, you know. You have so much talent, (Y/N). I’m tellin’ ya!” Michael said sincerely, taking a hand out of his pocket and putting it by his side. 

You smiled with a blush and shuffled your feet a bit.

“Thank you, I appreciate that a lot. Congratulations on your wins tonight, too. You deserve them - more than anyone,” You said to him.

Michael blushed.

“Thank you, (Y/N). That means a lot to me, too. Don’t forget you won, too! Congratulations are in order for you, as well,” Michael smiled with a blush.

You chuckled and crossed your arms, giving him a pleasant smile. 

The two of you then gave each other a look of sadness mixed with some sort of hope. Michael looked at the floor for a moment before he bit his lip and looked back up at you.

“Are you going to the after party?” He asked. 

You shook your head with a chuckle.

“Probably not. Those party scenes aren’t really for me…you know that,” You said in a slightly playfully flirty tone. 

Michael nodded with a bigger smile before he nervously scratched the top of his head for a moment.

“I do know that,” He chuckled.

“Would you like to come back to my apartment? Not like that…Just so we can celebrate in a…quieter space,” Michael said almost sheepishly. 

You raised an eyebrow.

“Is anyone else going to be there?” You asked softly.

“...Not if you don’t want there to be,” He replied.

You laughed softly and thought for a moment, pulling your hands in front of your body and holding them together.

“Sure. That sounds really great,” You said, giving him a bit of a playful look.

Michael kept the smile on his face as he raised his hand to gestured toward the exit.

“After you,” He said with a playful look on his face as well.

You and Michael walked out of the venue together and got into his car. The driver drove you back to his place and you stayed nearly the whole night. But, you didn’t want to rush back into anything if there wasn’t actually a chance. You went home but not before telling Michael to call you.

“Don’t be a stranger,” You said, pulling at his collar on his suit jacket.

“I won’t be if you don’t want me to be,” He said sadly.

You looked up at him with wide eyes that were getting wet.

“What if I told you I didn’t want you to be?” You asked softly, peering up at him.

“Then I’ll call you,” Michael smiled longingly. 

You nodded and leaned up, kissing his cheek. He kissed yours back. You gave each other one last look before you walked out of the door. A couple days later, Michael did call you again. And, the rest is history.

[desire-mona]

dps boys (and keating's) favourite songs (aka me projecting because i love music) (also modern au because you cannot limit me to music before 1960 you just cant)

i made a playlist of all these songs in case you wanna give em a listen, you can find it here. if you totally disagree with me or wanna add more then absolutely let me know!

neil: talia - ride the cyclone (the musical)

yes i KNOW it's obvious to choose a song from a musical BUT. ride the cyclone is special, i think he'd really like the lack of an ensemble and enjoy the dark premise despite the comedic nature of a vast majority of the show. also i totally think his favourite performance would be by gus halper bc of the use of the projector. mischa or noel is definitely a dream role of his.

todd: vincent - james blake ('s cover, og by don mclean)

don mcleans lyricism is like catnip to poets and it has gone unacknowledged for far too long. a lyrically gorgeous, vaguely queer sounding song about a tortured artist, covered by someone with an ANGELIC voice. can you name anything more todd? not to mention the piano is so far beyond moving, nothing short of a masterpiece.

charlie: dear prudence - siouxsie and the banshees (again - a cover, og by the beatles)

firm believer that charlie was an avid beatles hater for a WHILE until eleanor rigby grew on him, much to his dismay. is now a casual beatles enjoyer, only due to the fact that their vocals annoy him. so a cover by siouxsie sioux (whom he most definitely has a crush on) is basically a blessing in disguise. loves the instrumentals, loves the vocals, loves all of it. insists that its better than the original and will ultimately die (correct) on that hill.

meeks: love on the line (call now) - her's

as much as i love and adore meeks, i have been loyal to my headcanon that he is an annoying music snob since day one. of course, this culminates in his favourite song being by THE indie pop/rock band that pretentious people love to bring up the death of. he is no exception, any time the band is mentioned he will without fail go "did you know that they died in a car crash?" either way, id be lying if i said this was a bad pick. the upbeat vibe mixed with the actual meaning of the song being about a guy wasting all his money on a sex hotline? it makes the whole song so fun, and thats right up his alley! super danceable too, which plays a huge part.

pitts: bad fruit - jean dawson

will mona ever shut up about jean dawson? signs point to no. anywho, if you've followed along with my pittsie musings then you KNOW that i consider pitts to be the most well versed music guy to ever step on welton academy campus. realistically, im sure his favourite song changes on a day to day basis, but he always comes back to this. jean dawson makes art that ive seen few do similarly, everything he brings to the table i find so incredibly unique and well crafted. definitely pitts' biggest music crush.

cameron: '39 - queen

absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, an extremely guilty pleasure. i take his parents as the type to ban queen in their household (for reasons that im sure youre able to pick up on) but i ALSO take cameron as a sucker for classic rock, match made in hell. of course, since brian may does the vocals on this song instead of freddie, he can listen on the dl and be fine. also, the concept of time travel in music is SO!!! INTERESTING!! would absolutely go on a 10 minute long tangent about the story and meaning of the song, which only mittsie would actually listen to.

knox: lavender buds - MF DOOM

fine, FINE. i'll give knox a proper headcanon, but i wont be happy about it. i think i would listen to MF DOOM a lot more if i was a former bully, but thats not actually based off anything so dont take that as an insult, avid listeners. honestly i dont really have an in depth explanation for this one, just look at the lyrics and youll understand.

(this repeats 3 times)

i also take him to be a big r&b/ blues enjoyer, also based off nothing at all, so the sample probably appeals to some sense of nostalgia.

keating: clair de lune - claude debussy

yes, even modern keating's fav song would be classical, you can rip that from my cold, dead hands. this song was based off the poem by the same title by paul verlaine, which i'll include because it is just so damn beautiful.

Your soul is a select landscape

Where charming masqueraders and bergamaskers go

Playing the lute and dancing and almost

Sad beneath their fantastic disguises.

All sing in a minor key

Of victorious love and the opportune life,

They do not seem to believe in their happiness

And their song mingles with the moonlight,

With the still moonlight, sad and beautiful,

That sets the birds dreaming in the trees

And the fountains sobbing in ecstasy,

The tall slender fountains among marble statues.

Paul Verlaine, 1869 (originally written in french, so this is a rough english translation)

now the song itself does SUCH a good job at capturing the beauty and moving parts of this poem, and it fits perfectly with a plethora of different emotions. i know without a shadow of a doubt that its his kryptonite. is that me projecting because i love this song and i love keating? absolutely, but i still think its true either way.

[merylstreepsworld]

Ohh lovely! In that case, may I request headcanons on how Donna and (preferably) fem!reader got together? Maybe reader is a guest at the hotel or something like that. With reader having a huge crush on Donna if that's possible. :)

Certainly! Thank you so much for the request! If you have any more requests, feel free to drop them in my request box!

Here are headcanons about how you and Donna got together:

1. You, a guest at Donna's hotel on the picturesque island of Kalokari, first encountered Donna when checking in. Donna's warmth and welcoming smile instantly made an impression on you, leaving you with a fluttering heart.

2. It was practically love at first sight for you. Donna's radiant beauty and magnetic personality had you swooning, and you couldn't help but steal glances at Donna whenever you crossed paths.

3. You found any excuse to ask for Donna's assistance, whether it was with luggage or advice on where to explore on the island. Donna was always willing to help, and you cherished those moments.

4. Donna noticed your frequent visits to the hotel's common areas and bar. She often engaged in friendly conversations with you, learning about your interests and passions.

5. Over time, you and Donna discovered common interests, particularly a love for music. You bonded over your favorite songs and artists, and Donna even serenaded you with her beautiful voice one magical evening.

6. You started volunteering for small tasks around the hotel, like helping with decorations or organizing events, just to be closer to Donna and get to know her better.

7. You couldn't help but daydream about scenarios where Donna might return your feelings, and these daydreams often involved romantic walks on the beach, shared laughter, and heartfelt conversations.

8. Both you and Donna were hesitant to admit your feelings. You shared knowing smiles and lingering touches, but it took a heart-to-heart conversation for you to acknowledge the undeniable attraction between you. You would often blush or stutter in Donna's presence, making it apparent to anyone with a keen eye that they had a crush

9. Donna's friends and coworkers at the hotel would tease her about your infatuation, causing her to chuckle and playfully deny any knowledge of it.

10. Donna, while initially oblivious to your crush, began to sense your growing affection. She found herself looking forward to your interactions and appreciating your presence at the hotel.

11. The island's enchanting moonlit nights became the backdrop for your late-night strolls along the beach. Under the starry sky, you shared your dreams, hopes, and secrets, forging a deep connection.

12. It was during a starlit beach walk that Donna's hand slipped into yours, her fingers entwining with yours as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The connection between you both was undeniable.

13. One special evening, Donna invited you to join her for a private dinner on the terrace overlooking the sea. The intimacy of the setting allowed your feelings for each other to flourish, and a shared kiss under the moonlit sky sealed your attraction.

14. From that moment on, you and Donna became inseparable. You explored the island together, danced under the stars, and enjoyed each other's company in ways that made your bond unbreakable

15. Donna planned surprise romantic date nights for you, including candlelit dinners, stargazing on the beach, and even a private boat ride at sunset.

16. On a quiet afternoon, while watching the waves lap against the shore, Donna confessed her love to you. The words came naturally, as if they had been written in the sands of Kalokari itself. "I love you."

17. As your love deepened, you decided to make Kalokari your permanent home. Donna welcomed you with open arms, and together, you built a life filled with love, laughter, and unforgettable moments.

18. Sophie, Donna's daughter, was your biggest cheerleader. She encouraged your budding relationship and couldn't have been happier for her mom and you.

19. Together, you continued to explore the island, creating countless memories as you navigated the challenges and joys of your newfound relationship.

20. Deep down, you believe that Donna is the one who makes Kalokari the paradise it is, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

[letterstomonkey]

I am Second

I am a hearth first and a threshold second.

I am a fire first and an Irish exit second.

I emanate warmth at first, with one foot crossing the threshold from the first posed question-

I’m gone in a second.

I didn’t know what a hearth was,

Until I knew, that blood too creates a spectacle of art upon my face,

I know a fireplace does not insinuate a warm place,

and an audience doesn’t imitate the heart-to-heart I always chase.

Artists don’t know anything, except for how to create space

To perceive and be perceived;

I am an artist second, and first

A literary receptacle, or

A candlelit canticle, or

A memory semantical; I am

A digression indigestible.

I’m fascinated by perspective, popcorn and rare pennies,

My grandma’s orange lilies, and your lack of spatial awareness around me.

I named a garden after myself, and I damned every root and bud yet to bloom to Eternal Internal suffering.

I read aloud my words, then cleanse my teeth with antifreeze,

I bake inedible pastries for the sake of constant fleeting company.

Fringe jacket sleeves depict perfectly

my fear of touching what is forbidden, not realizing until it is too late.

I love Christmas, for I specialize in giving my gifts away recklessly

Abandoning myself,

And I am at home because I know how to do something right when I am second.

I still need permission to enter a room first, I beg for mercy over every mess I make.

I keep my blinds closed, wondering how to be perceived, comfortably.

I keep my door closed, wondering

Who will be the first to leave with the best of me?

If my words are my favorite part of me, then

What am I worth when they’re working against me?

I never wanted to become wild, when

I was seeking forgiveness before permission,

I was spoken to like a child as

My seeking acceptance gave way to remission.

I’m a teacher’s pet, and I’m not sorry for that.

I love learning and I hate being my biggest distraction.

I was a teacher’s pet until they introduced me to fractions.

I wanted to be a teacher until they all

Reduced me to a distraction wearing jean shorts.

They spoke their intentions, and

Eventually I learned to savor such adult attention.

Why do we keep pretending to care about intentions?

How they litter tainted, moral principle remnants?

I still don’t know if I have ever been a good friend.

I have yet to remember not to reach for bread and butter across the dinner table

When I eat with my elbows on the table, I think of my grandmother,

how I love her without needing anything from her,

how I have come to accept people that do not accept me.

Morally obligated intentions haunt my ancestry, but lightning struck my family tree.

It ends with me.

[get-back-homeward]

Now and Then Day

This sideblog began after watching Get Back nagged and nagged at me until finally I started to look closer at context relative to the Beatles discography and suddenly started experiencing these WAIT WHAT moments every day as what I thought I knew got turned inside out. The appeal was in looking at something you knew like the back of your hand from another direction and seeing/hearing something new you hadn’t seen/heard before. But I had no idea we’d get another song to add to the mix in 2023.

I knew Now and Then day would be an experience. I thought I’d have to wait the whole day before listening. But I got lucky and found a few minutes to listen to Now and Then when it was first released this morning. And inexplicably clicked to hear the remastered Love Me Do instead. I cannot explain my brain.

I then tried to start Now and Then and noped out before 15 seconds in. Too overwhelming. Not the right time. I was too rushed and needed more space to mentally prepare for it.

I caught NPR covering the Now and Then release today on my drive home. They had a Lennon biographer (I didn’t catch the name) reviewing the song. He said the song recalls John’s more delicate tunes like Beautiful Boys (sic) and mentioned John started the song in 1970.

Say what?!

Here I was late last night trying to nail down a better date for John’s demo than “late 70s”. Meanwhile, biographers are just here on national public radio pushing lies. Did he have ChatGPT write his comments?

Oh yeah, they also said it was created with AI no qualifier.🤦‍♀️

They played a few snippets of the song including one new piece not in the doc but refrained from playing it in full. It was mostly wrong Beatles facts all segment.

Trying the song a second time hours later, I got through it in one piece but was feeling abit 🥴 about it as a song itself. Having just listened to the original demo was probably a mistake, and I could hear all the seams and feeling the Frankenstein song effect.

Third attempt sounded more together, with the seams not quite as noticeable. I was prepared for the changes, the layering bits from other songs, and noted highlights of the instrumentals: the strings, George’s guitar bits, and Ringo’s flourishes. I love Paul coming through on the future tense certainty of “I will love you” (is that I Will?). Ringo’s shimmering effect choice (is it tams?) is such an entrancing closer. Giles’ score and Beatles recycled bits do mend the seams well once I stop thinking about them too much.

On fourth listen, my biggest notes are questioning why Paul’s harmony with John isn’t more distinct. He shows a lot of restraint here but maybe too much? Did Get Back get to him in other ways than the most obvious? Is he just self-conscious about his own voice? Or is it the limitation of the tech when it comes to harmony mixing?

The strings were what I was most worried about, but their entrance at the 1:15 mark really kicks it up a notch to transition into the singalong. Other standouts are 1:40 with George’s flourish and 2:29 peak with the guitar solo.

Lyrically, it’s the conditional and if I make it through it’s all because of you that haunts in layers of meaning both grim and cathartic that reverberate through time and space.

If John makes it through emotionally to 1980 and has a comeback? Congrats, bud you did it. But he’s stopped physically through no fault of his own. There’s the obvious mourning of that lost potential even 40 years later.

If this song this voice this message of John’s makes it through to 2023 and reaches the public? Well, success there, Paul’s tenacity saw it through with help from many friends. John’s voice and song lives on through Paul’s wish to conjure him by his side. On the Day of the Dead no less. I was reminded of the concept of tulpas today and was knocked back on my heels by the thought.

If John as an artist and Beatles as a band make it through so fans are still listening in 2023? This doubles as a bit of a fan love letter, and thank you for 60 years. Released on the day Beatlemania first appeared in black and white.

But then there’s also a reflector on this. Some original Beatles fans have aged with Paul and Ringo and others have not and aren’t here to share this like John and George. There’s grief and mourning from those still here about those lost, and the song acts as a catharsis. A kind of thank you to the band for being there for fans in good times and bad. The symbiosis of fame between a band and its fans across the decades.

It’s a lot.

I spent some time looking at the youtube comments on the song. Some original fans but many second and even third generation fans. And quite a few stories about a loved one who loved the band and recently passed away like this one:

And this:

But also in there are stories of catharsis and healing.

And many memories of the joy that Beatles music has brought to people’s lives. We all have these stories of how their songs weave into our own life. But it’s the joy that I keep coming back to as the secret sauce to the band’s earliest days. I often think of those early songs more in terms of feeling then anything, and it starts with the first single.

I love the Love Me Do remastering. That harmonica sounds so crisp. The bluegrassy harmonies have never sounded better. The ones on ple-ee-ee-ease still give me chills. Ringo’s drums moved forward in the mix to appreciate that driving beat just a bit more. I can hear the bass too. I can’t wait to hear what the other early Red album tracks sound like.

But next to Now and Then, I’m also looking at the lyrics like I never did before. Why give it another glance? Written by a 16 year old kid, it always sounded a bit juvenile and simple. But suddenly next to Now and Then, there’s a weight to it I never heard before.

Love, love me do

You know I love you

I’ll always be true

So please, love me do

It sounds like a promise. Now and Then is fulfillment of that always. It’s no longer just the whim of a kid. But rather the beginning of 7 decade devotional: To John, to the band, to fans, and reflected back again. The love is reciprocal from all sides.

How’s that for a WAIT WHAT moment? Paul turning the least likely song inside out and backwards. And he didn’t even add a lyrical middle eight.

[official-soulriders]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Pinned Post ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

woa how'd you do the sparkle thing??

It's easy, there's a website you can copy and paste them

Okay are the sparkles necessary-

I think they're fun, I don't see why not?

Guys, focus-

Oh, right. Halo, you wanna kick off introductions? This was your idea.

ok!

hi everyone, my name's Halo :) um, I'm from Jorvik! I live in Valedale and this is my horse, Buddy!

um, my pronouns are they/them

That all you wanna put?

yea

Alright, guess I'm up next. I'll try to keep introductions short too; my name's Alex, tech expert and lover of fun and chaos! And this bozo is my best bud, Tin-Can!

(She/her)

Hi everyone! I'm Lisa Peterson, up and coming music artist from Texas, but I live in Jorvik with my dad. This here is my horse and the namesake of my family ranch, Starshine!

(She/they)

Hi, I'm Linda! If you go to Jorvik High you might know me as the editor in chief of the JHS Gazette. This here is my horse and Jorvik's biggest glutton, Meteor:

(She/they)

My name's Anne Von Blyssen. If you're any amount of involved in Jorvik's dressage scene, you probably know who me and Concorde are already. I'd like to decline any questions about my disappearance a couple months ago, thanks.

(She/her)

Basically we're uh- I guess you could call us a riding club? We're dedicated to helping people around Jorvik! Kinda like charity work, I guess. But we also do fun, casual riding stuff too. When we aren't fighting off dark forces-

This blog was mostly an idea for Halo to make more friends, so they're probably the one you'll see on here the most- but you'll also hear from the four of us too, occasionally! We each have our own individual tags, too:

#🪐 speaks = Halo's tag

#⚡ speaks = Alex's tag

#🌟 speaks = Lisa's tag

#🌙 speaks = Linda's tag

#☀️ speaks = Anne's tag

(( OOC under cut ))

(( roleplay blog for the soul riders (including my OC) from SSO! i'm normal about them. my typical sso posting blog is @starbornsoulrider so go there if u wanna know more abt Halo! ))

RULES/INFO:

-light NSFW jokes are fine but nothing explicit.

-mun is an adult

-you probably know me from pkmn irl, so i just wanna say that even if you're a pkmn rp blog/any other kind of non sso rp blog you can still feel free to interact! i mean i might block for certain fandoms but i don't feel like listing them here

-magic anons are on, but depending on how I'm feeling i might delay answering them

-for ask games i kindly ask you to specify who you're sending an ask to! unless i specifically say im only doing an ask game for a certain character. otherwise i'll just pick one randomly

[maxicaiman]

hey! (evil)

so if i happened to want to get some tips on how to draw mechs,, could you spare a moment of your time to provide some small tips? i really wanna draw my partner's oc because hes SO COOL?? shoutout my boy tactic

-totally not october <3

Absolutely bud!! Shoutout to my wife (Tactic,,,, tactic is my wife,,,, guh)

The thing that helped me the most was learning the Transformers Animated style! My style is very cartoonish and with it being a cartoon it fit super well and helped me a ton

One of the biggest things is that robots are very shaped. Lots of squares especially. Just getting that shape language down will help a ton

Also like? Don’t worry about getting details down or making it look robotic necessarily. A lot of transformers artists will tell you that you don’t have to get every single detail down, and are absolutely fine with it as long as a character is recognizable. I tend to go a little more detailed than normal, but it’s not necessary at all

So yeah I’d suggest looking at the Transformers Animated, looking at screenshots and scenes and such to get the feel for robots down!! (Also you gotta show me when you’re done,,,,, show me my wife,,,,,)

[skiptomy]

Help a disabled trans person get back on their feet

Forcing myself to ask for help. It's really hard for me to do this cause I always feel like I've already asked way too much, but a few kind folks have suggested I do something like this, so I guess here goes nothing.

For more info about what's going on you can check out this post, but the tl;dr is that I'm flat fucking broke right now with no way to get extra income. A lot of my stuff is super old or super broken and at the point where I need replacements that I cannot afford.

So I guess here's a list of stuff, and general prices, though if anyone has better recommendations I'm super open. I'm limiting it to things I actively need rather than just things I want cause that obviously doesn't seem fair to ask folks for.

Bedding: at this point all my pillows are so old they are actively yellowing. My comforter is pretty stained and starting to tear up at the seams and whenever I come home from doing one of my dog sitting jobs I've noticed how much worse my allergies are. Fixing this will drastically help my lungs and sinuses, as well as help with joint support/comfort.

Allergy safe pillows: Usually between 8$-15$ x 2 at least, 4 preferred (joint support)

Cooling comforter: [link] 35$ plus shipping

Allergy safe mattress cover: Most I can find are between 30-50$

Cooling mattress pad: [link] 43$ plus shipping

Med support: This part is pretty self explanatory as to why I need them. But just in case you'd like to know; I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, fibromyalgia, chrons/ibs, asthma, pretty bad environmental allergies, as well as being recently diagnosed with ADHD/Autism. This leads to near constant pain, always constant fatigue, and just general bad vibes y'know? My body is essentially a poorly constructed ball joint doll that thinks it's funny to just sprinkle on the symptoms.

This one is just way easier to do as a wishlist, cause there's a LOT of things that could help and a lot of them are very expensive.

Work: I work as a digital artist, and the biggest thing I'm saving up for right now is a functioning PC, as my current computer continues to crash and is plagued with a whole lot of troubles and has never really had enough RAM to do what I need. Thanks to the incredible people in my life I have a little towards this already, as well as a big discount through one of my friend's jobs. The build that my tech buds and I worked out would suit my needs and keep me going for a good decade or so is about 1,400$. I've got 500$ towards it already that I refuse to touch for anything else (if it's not life threatening), and I'm trying my best to save up on the side, but bills and life keep making that very hard.

I've got Paypal, Venmo (just ask for QR), and Ko-fi.

I also do commissions but those are quite slow going right now because of all the aforementioned problems. But if you don't mind waiting a while (trying to catch up on older ones right now) you sure can put an order in.

If you are able to help, I cannot express how much that would mean to me. But I also completely understand if you can't. It's tough out there. Especially right now with everything going on. In any case, I wish you all the best, and thank you heartily for reading and sharing.

[meenawrites]

Trudy Parenting Spider

SOOOOO here are some random thoughts I had about Trudy figuring out parenting and she's going to go about it!

I 100% think that she just barely sees a tiny Spider outside, somehow having breached the airlock on his own. His little cheeks are puffed out and he's holding his breath and she realizes that this kid is going to be an absolute menace to her heart and his own safety. So when he's finally allowed to go outside because he can fit into an exopack, she fashions a kiddy leash or something for him because she just knows if she doesn't watch him for a second he'll go bounding into some cranny or another and get himself eaten by a palulukan or something. The Sully kids think the leash is hilarious but Jake having Lo'ak as a rascal and Kiri who just randomly wanders off something totally gets it and applauds her decision. He can't get Neytiri to agree to one for the kids though. 

Trudy couldn't help but coddle the kid in Spanish when he was a kid so he used to go around as a toddler mixing up English and Spanish as a toddler, then eventually English, Spanish, and Na'vi. As soon as she decides she whole-heartedly taking this kid as her responsibility, she decides to teach him Spanish. Spanish becomes a language that connects just the two of them and it creates a tight bond between the two. Spider thinks Spanish curses are funnier than English ones so he'll randomly curse in Spanish under his breath and Norm will be like "I don't know what that means, but I know it isn't appropriate, young man!"

I think Trudy's go-to when addressing Spider is "Kiddo",  followed closely by "Bud" or "Buddy", "Rascal". I have to assume she uses some Spanish terms of endearment as well, but I'm not as well versed in those seeing as I'm not Hispanic (though I do get looked up and down and immediately get spoken to in Spanish most of the time so I'm flattered). I think she'd try to stay away from terms like mijo (my son) for a bit because she's unsure whether she should be putting some that distance between them or simply doesn't want to encroach on his feelings about his mom, but at some point when he's older it kind of slips out and Spider almost cries (he totally does and Trudy does too).

I think she would probably sit and watch Grace's video logs with him or with him and Kiri when she joined in because Spider's a voracious learner and he loves watching Grace talk about the biology of Pandora and its interconnectedness. Trudy learns a lot about Pandora in this way as well, and she misses Grace a lot while she's watching them. 

Like I think I said in a previous post, I think she definitely helps Spider prank the scientists here and there and they both run away from the aftermath laughing maniacally. 

Once she realizes how much Spider wants his height to be measured like the Sully kids, she totally carves a pole out of some fallen wood and sets it up in the room that they share and starts marking his height and cooking him whatever he wants when she sees he's grown taller. 

I imagine they share a room mostly because there probably aren't that many rooms to go around and when Spider was little and after the McCoskers, she wasn't okay with leaving him alone at night and neither was he okay with being alone. I think eventually, if the construct of the base allows for it, they would have like knocked a wall down or something and expanded the room for both of them, maybe drawn a curtain in the middle for some semblance of privacy. 

In my characterization of Spider (which I revealed in the latest installment of my Spider Chronicles fic) Spider is a great artist and he's been drawing since he was little so Trudy definitely has like the biggest collection of Spider's drawings and keeps his old sketchbooks and stuff. She notices that a consistent topic of his drawings is Kiri and she only gets portrayed more and more beautifully as he gets better, and she thinks it's hilariously adorable. She worries a bit for him and his love for the Na'vi girl with him being human and all, but at the moment they're too young for it to matter and frankly she's not quite sure what to do about it, so she just teases him about it every now and then. 

Trudy would definitely teach Spider how to pilot her kestrel, and one of his favorite activities with her since he was little was flying with her. He becomes better than Norm at piloting eventually which he doesn't cease to remind him. 

I think Trudy knows what it's like as a kid to not really get much physical affection from your parents and being touch-starved and she recognizes the signs in Spider almost immediately. It's a lot worse after the McCoskers who didn't even speak to him, let alone hug him, so she starts communicating to him as best (and awkwardly) as she can that it's okay to ask for hugs or to hold her hand, or just generally ask for anything he needs from her. He doesn't really go for it at first and never initiates anything because he doesn't want to be a burden so she changes tactics and just kind of demands physical affection from him like, "hold my hand" or "Spider, I need a hug" , and he slowly gets more comfortable with just grabbing her arm or holding his arms out for a hug or just generally wanting to be held. 

I think Trudy's always worried whether she's doing a good job for this kid or if she's missing something vital so she does watch how Neytiri and some other Omaticaya parents interact and handle their kids and like actually takes notes. Neytiri's really unnerved by her less than subtle staring until she sees her notes one day or something and is endeared. She tells her she can just ask her whatever questions she has in like a very tsundere way. 

If you guys have any ideas or asks please let me know! I finally figured out how to add the ask me questions button online so hopefully that's there for you guys.