#my bad on the kinda disappearing into the void: turns out the new adhd meds actually work and i became a lil too focused

[switchblade-serenade]

.👋🏻💕

[shiny-miltank]

why hello old friends, you’ve found me once again (it wasn’t a secret really lol). to start off myello. sorry for disappearing off the Mewcrew blog. It gets all kinda wordy so it’s under a readmore.

Long story short I suffered from a mental Illinois(tm) spiral of depression, work exhaustion, undiagnosed/untreated adhd and big time imposter syndrome + burnout. Zoom into today I’ve been in therapy for my big time sads with some new perspectives and management, got some adhd meds, my job quit on me (long story) so now I’m slinging it freelance artist style and seeing how it goes, and back with family cause living alone was expensive and very Not Good for my brain it turned out. Still working on new changes and learning about the anxious smorgasbord up in the head.

Now there’s still no guarantee? That Mewcrew stuff is going to come back in full force like it did. Im still trying to like it again cause I do miss them. It took a long time and effort just to draw them for the wips I got going in the bg after like the three years leaving. Tbh the blog became something I didn’t want and instead of casual, low effort, funny not serious Just Roomates on misadventures in a pink void comic it became long hours of planning and plotting and rendering and feeling it wasn’t enough with my nasty soup of brain ick continuing to make me feel bad for not keeping up with a constant pace and comparing my work to the artists around me (again it was my brain funguses making reality hard-no one else. The artists around me back then were legit the nicest peeps around-still are). I’m also still really nervous and anxious around big communities that seemed to have sprung up HELLO ALL OF YOU LOL. I remember when it was just three of us xD And I still have to sit with my imposter syndrome and understanding I have things to offer that people do want to see and to stop anxieties from comparing my work to others.

So for now if I am posting Mewcrew stuff it’s mostly going to be here on my main from now on and not an individual blog (me figuring it’s just a lot of effort to keep up with so many blogs and logins, I think any new project or direction I go is just gonna be slapped on my main from now on. The less effort the better for my energy.). It’ll be sporadic and in a much different direction that was more akin to what I wanted it to be and much more casual comedy (or my flat sense of humor-I’ll laugh at knock knock jokes fr) slice of life with very little, even parody “plot”. And most of it until im comfortable with releasing complete mewcrew/mewtwo content will be on my patreon with again spurts of it here on tumblr and on my other socials. And if any of you come into my inbox saying I’m paywalling my own content AGAIN I will come for your kneecaps no joke you are NOT entitled to my work ESPECIALLY when this is now my main form of income. Anything on my patreon is /extra/ and early works and for peeps who choose to/want to and or capable of supporting me. That was literally the final straw that made me take a step out way back then: there’s still somebody behind the screen please remember that. This is just for my anxieties and getting comfortable with my characters again at a slow pace👍 I do miss everyone I use to interact with and want to be part of the bigger community here that’s sprouted up. Just gotta walk slowly with my social anxiety and other things first.

Thanks for reading and choosing to stick around if you do!