#my bad it was just a pile of nasty kink shit LOL

[haltiamieli]

tell me about sea daddy au

congratulations for picking out the thirstiest and nastiest kink fic i had on the list lmao :'D

this au came to be when i read marco/ace pwp fic that had ace call marco his sea daddy, and i was like yes. but also no. and most importantly, i could do this but better (= as in more to my tastes). what you have to know is that daddy kink is something i have very particular opinions on, and the average writer does it in a way that doesn't do it for me.

i never got very far into writing this, but the core idea was that for whatever fucking reason undefined by me, it is traditional that young crew members have a sea daddy assigned to them to look after them and instruct them in the ways of sex and/or relationships. it was an elaborate kink society set up type thing with many rules about what sort of things you should do and with who and how to ask for stuff and what sort of variations there are between specific crews and how the culture evolves and what expectations are just expectations and so on.

it was also about ace opening up emotionally for the first time, and about marco being a ruthless bastard who is just super fucking reliable, about consent and boundaries, trust and arousal, and feelings of insecurity and safety about sexual attraction. and some tiny daddy kink, but really this was the "daddy kink fic where ace hates daddy kink and instead has daddy issues"

[strangesugar-blog1]

Pot update: Snow

I kinda just put the hard sell on Snow. It could totally backfire but honestly whatever, better than being in limbo.

Our date yesterday was only ok. It wasn't the most awful thing in the world, but I feel like maybe we could have a better connection? Part of this is definitely on me, I know I need to up my game. Part of me is actually like, maybe I should step back from the bowl and get my shit in better order, then come back rearing to go. Like actually learn some more about more topics, current events, get all my grooming stuff in order, my house in order, create systems, a few more basic nice things to wear on dates, catch up on everything in my personal life, etc etc. But also like, a lot of that takes money - which I need these men for 😂 And realistically I'll probably never reach that magical point of having my shit properly in order haha. But it just seems too overwhelming to tackle it all as I go. I don't know.

Anyway, there were a few awkward silences, but he's kind of a weird conversationalist. He sort of doesn't ease in to topics, he will suddenly just ask really vague kind of questions and I get caught off guard. The restaurant we were at also had a glass wall by where we were sitting that looked through to a place with stuff going on next door that was enthralling him, so he'd keep looking at that and the conversation was kind of bitsy and weird. He was asking about turn ons, fantasies etc too, but considering it's our second date and I haven't seen a dime I'm kinda thinking that was a bit much, but also like, I really do need to make a list of interesting enough but not too weird things to say when they ask, lol. I felt like a boring human when I just clammed up and didn't know what to say. My turn-ons/kinks change depending on who I'm with, the situation, etc, and honestly not that many apply with him. Like I know we all joke about it on here, but for real, money actually does make me so wet. I can't exactly say fuck me in a pile of your cash then give it all to me. Or talk dirty about how rich/important you are and all the things you're going to buy me 😂 My two other main Things are a really specific body type that doesn't apply to him, or "cheating" (he knows, but still) on my husband with lots of verbal stuff about it, which is a) weird and b) incriminates, for lack of a better word, my husband, which I don't want to do in case anything goes wrong the last thing we need is anyone coming out with bad/embarrassing stuff about him as well as me. Or maybe like, me being all dom (fin-dom even better) on him and making him fucking worship me while I deny him orgasm 😂 Which once again makes me look money-hungry and conceited, and like, I'm not under any illusions, I'm really not worshippable, I'm not really that hot or put together or interesting or fun, and probably not that good in bed tbh due to the whole long-term sexless marriage thing. So I'll have to make a list of some less weird things to pull out I think haha, just some basic subby stuff I guess, teasing, maybe fun/cute orgasm denial on both our ends instead of it being mean, cutesy names, blah blah. Maybe ask to call him Daddy? A bit of exhibitionist stuff to tie in with him? Lmao.

Anyway. I talked to him a bit about the privacy stuff and he actually bought up first getting stuff sent somewhere else or whatever, then i expanded on that with the po box idea, so that's good at least. He seemed quite open to me continuing to be vague on identifiable details in general, which I appreciate.

Anyway, I kinda thought I might have blown it with my awkwardness tbh, but he said as we were leaving that he really wanted to see me again and then texted later "Was super to see you babe and am excited to know you better and explore if we are going to live out your fantasies". I figured I should take a bit and think about what to reply, because I don't just want him to think I'm going to keep going on dates for free, and try and figure out how to word it, but life got in the way and I never replied like an asshole. I just replied not long ago with an apology and a bit of small talk, but then put the hard-sell on him. I'm not gonna copy/paste bc it's long, but basically like yeah i wanna see you again, but I need to know where this is going (he keeps saying that he's not sure about the whole allowance thing bc he's never done it before, blah blah, but that he's not necessarily saying no, just that it feels weird to him) and whether or not the allowance will work out for him etc before we go too much further. I said I wanted him to want to do it and not to feel resentful, and he could take some time to think it over of course, but that each meet takes time/money for getting ready, transport, other things I don't do with that time, etc etc and I need to know it's going somewhere before investing more time blah blah. I said if he'd like to meet one more time (and casually used the word "platonically" to hopefully make it clear that means I'm not ok with a bunch of dirty talk for free lol) before deciding that I totally understand, but that I would have to ask for a "small gift" to cover my time, transport, etc, and that hopefully he understood from my perspective. Because to be fair, he knows I'm not wanting just a spoiled side-hoe gig, and we've already met twice, so I think it's fair that anything beyond that has some kind of compensation.

Oh also I was thinking of calling in after our meet to the salon to get my nasty growing-out hair cut. He asked where and I told him. They had one same day appt but i said I'd call back to confirm bc it was gonna be a rush to get there after the date. I ended up deciding to take it and tried to call back twice in the Lyft on the way and once after the date but couldn't get in touch with them which was a shame since i was over that way. Anyway he was asking what I was getting done, and asked if it was my roots (he wasn't being rude lol I'd already talked about fixing them) and I said nah I do that at home to keep costs down, just a cut. And he was saying how he wished he didn't have to leave so he could take me and pay. Like, he's so obsessed with being involved with everything, like, I don't want you there while I'm getting a haircut lol? I'm gonna look like a weird drowned rat? It will be awkward as fuck. But of course he didn't offer to give me something towards it to do myself. Oh and he pointed out that there was a salon two doors down like... ok? I go to my other one because it's cheap lol, are you going to take me before you have to leave and give your card details to them or something? No? Well i don't understand your point. It's like he's super willing to spoil but only if he has a ton of input, and like, I get that for fun stuff like clothes/lingerie or fun makeup or whatever, but for my boring daily "things I always get and know what i like" essentials kinda stuff it's like... that's gonna get annoying pretty quick.

Anyway, we'll see how he responds to that i guess, I'm not too worried either way. I'm torn. Like I hope he's down for it but also I actually did kinda lowball myself tbh like he's worth a LOT of money, but I fell into the trap of trying not to look money hungry since he's not used to allowances, and since he was going to be spoiling me a lot on dates and go shopping etc I went with a pretty low allowance figure. I figure since it's my first time etc it was ok but honestly now I'm kinda regretting it like I should have asked for more considering his worth and how often he wants to see me. Plus I feel like he's not going to stop bugging me about traveling which i really can't do. He so badly wants at least a Vegas weekend with me. I genuinely wish I could but I can't. So part of me actually kinda wants him to say no, I don't even know haha. Either way is a win I guess, bag my first SD and maybe try and find another one on the side, maybe be able to work my number up with time or really take advantage of the "extras", and at least have something coming in, ooor not and free up more time for me to find someone else, work on myself and my confidence and be ready to ask for what i really deserve next time.

I'll let you know what happens.

[smittenwithlouis]

Best of the 🦇 Fic

Aka Waiting On You by @lads-laddylads​

This is easily one of my favorite fics so I’ve compiled some of my favorite quotes, lines, and moments from this masterpiece. Enjoy!

⚰️ [Spoiler Warning!] 💉 

“You’re feisty for someone so small” [Definition of Louis Tomlinson right here ijs :/]

Harry bites the way he talks, and walks, and kisses, with an intensity that’s somehow on the right side of too much, overwhelming without being overbearing. [ Gentle 🦇 lover Harry tho...need I say more?]

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡WALL SEX!!!!!!!!!!

“What if he saw you up against the wall and taking my cock like this, this desperate for it after you tried so hard to pretend you weren’t interested?” [Lmao gentle lover but then he a nasty™ exhibitionist kinky bastard...excuse me but like...sign me tf up :/ also Niall would be out there pulling a Regina George’s Mom move with a video camera. Lets be real...aslo me as Niall]

"Please, c’mon, bite me again,”....“Baby, I don’t need more—” Harry begins .....”No, I need it, please, Harry, just—” Louis says, and when he sees Harry’s fangs descend, he feels like he could cry with relief [Honestly this scene killed me bc like LMAO he’s gagging to be bitten like...let that sink in for a sec and then you have 🦇 Harry like no no baby I’m good like u don’t gotta but Louis is like BINCH this for my pleasure not u tf...Iconic]

Louis turns around, he sees his clothing from the club last night in a neatly folded pile on the floor [Harry deadass fucking folded Louis’ clothes before he left. Like why is this such a Harry thing to do?When will your one night stand EVER, Lmao I HATE]

They may start humping each other with the next few minutes, and Louis wants to tell them to leave room for Jesus [Louis is such a little binch...why didn’t he leave room for J when he was dry humping Harry at the club?...smh]

“You’re all so fucking full of yourselves and it disgusts me.”....“You were so fucking full of me last week and you didn’t seem disgusted by that” [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LMAOOOOO. Honestly. I’m here for Harry calling out Louis in all his bs. This was iconic]

“Because people get off on being bitten? It’s like...a sexual thing...“Mmmm, no, that’s pretty much just you” [Imagine being that deep in denial or having no once of self awareness. Like kinda felt bad that he didn’t realize his own damn kink but LMAO now all his friends know he gets off on being bitten. Oh Louis hahahaha. Also, Harry being all smug about it. BYE]

Louis gently burrows his feet under Harry’s thigh. It keeps his toes warm [This was just so cute and super relatable cause I literally do the same thing rip]

A young vampire who looks like he’d rather be actually dead than undead and working at Panera [This line LMAO. Idk if many people appreciate this type of humor but I do. I giggled so much]

“I’m a cop and I could report this restaurant for at least three health code violations” [Hahaha he’s so endearing and so aggravating at the same time. But its so cute how he does shit like this and you know on the surface it pisses Louis off but in reality he’s so endeared by it. I’m here for Harry cheating to get what he wants tbh]

“Up we go” Harry says [STOP this was so cute! Literally all I pictured was that gif of that bodyguard picking Louis up like he weighed nothing :’) my smol son...bless him]

“Vampires don’t even fucking sweat” Louis mutters to himself angrily [Okay but how iconic was this scene? Harry is such a damn tease. Louis had been fantasizing about H covered in oil and as if H KNEW he was like I don’t got oil but this water will do...like LMAO. So Louis being sexually frustrated and grumpy like a kitten with a “🦇s don’t sweat” was just so funny lol]

“Are we — are we gonna have sex now?” Louis asks when Harry lays him down.Harry laughs, and that seems rude. Louis and Harry have had sex before, so why not have it again? Louis is in his bed, after all, so he doesn’t understand why Harry is trying to play hard to get. Why else would Louis be in his bed?Louis feels his eyes slipping closed, but he’s going to ask these questions because he wants answers.“Just go to sleep, baby,” Harry says softly, and no. No, Louis isn’t going to do that [The damn nerve Louis has to say Harry is the one playing hard to get BOI lol. But like this scene is so endearing. Like, Harry just saved his ass and Louis is so damn drunk and HARRY CALLED HIM BABY. Ugh its disgustingly sweet. I love it :’)]

“Smaller than I remember,” Louis says, swallowing hard. Harry’s smirk only widens [I’m that gif of that dude looking into the camera like I’m in the office. Like, Louis trying to pretend like Harry doesn’t have a monster**** and didn’t get fucked for an inch of his life is so fucking petty and hilariously embarrassing lol]

“So, I was thinking that we should have sex,” Louis says suddenly, and Harry chokes on his drink [This was so abrupt and just lololol he was so done with being sexually frustrated this was also when I screamed FINALLY BINCH]

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡HANDCUFF SEX!!!!!!!!!!

“I want to watch the Vampire Diaries,” Louis decides finally [need I say more lmaooo]

He reaches for Harry. Harry opens his arms to Louis immediately, burying his face into Louis’ neck, and Louis shivers slightly, rubbing at Harry’s back [this was such a small and tender moment. It was just so cute since up to this point they had rarely been really affectionate like this it just made me feel all asdfghjkl...also tho I felt bad for Niel]

Louis can’t help but scoot closer to him, wrapping his arms around Harry’s torso and clinging to him like a koala bear [this was just cute okay???]

Finally, Harry huffs out a sigh and leans in, giving Louis a kiss on his cheekbone [I live for small little moments like this FUCK ME UP with emotions and feelings rip]

"I have Steve talking about pterodactyl porn, I have Niall speculating about whether it’s legal to marry ducks in the District of Colombia" [shit like this makes me side eye writers tbh like...now I know u’ve seen or talked about some weird shit. Like, Emma how did u even come up with this??? How much pterodactyl porn have u watched? like...I’m not judging u or nuffin but lowkey I’m like how much of a freak is she? Ya feel me? Get back to me on this lmao I need explanations....]

Harry’s shirt is riding up slightly, exposing the trail of hair that leads into Harry’s boxers, and there’s a small bit of a drool pooling on Harry’s skin. Oops [Excuse me but like this is so cute? Louis droolin on Harry...as gross asit may be like...how endearing tho? Again little shit like this is what makes me adore fics so much. Bless]

“Why aren’t you into me?” The words burst out of Louis suddenly, and that definitely wasn’t what he meant to say [This made me feel so asdfghjkl for Louis cause like I felt bad but also it was his fault in the first place but again with him bursting out with his feelings is so cute]

“I was waiting on you,” Harry says simply, and Louis’ heart skips a beat [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LIKE YALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE WHEN AUTHORS PUT THE TITLE IN THEIR STORY OR LIKE THE TITLE COMES FROMA LINE IN THE STORY. BLESS UP]

“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want you,” Harry says, pulling away just enough to speak. “Do you think I handcuff all of my friends and let them ride me on the sofa?” His eyes are sparkling [Honestly Louis...like wyd boi]

Louis can tell that even in the throes of pleasure, Harry’s first concern is making sure Louis doesn’t get hurt [Gentle 🦇 lover Harry at it again]

Harry bites into Louis’ left ass cheek with his fangs, and Louis cries out loudly enough that he’d be concerned for Harry’s neighbors if he cared about anything other than this right now [How much nastier™ can this get tho? BYE]

Harry reaches his finger down Louis’ crack, teasing gently, but he can’t quite reach where he wants to touch. He makes a frustrated noise and hitches Louis’ leg up, forcing Louis to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck until he’s up against the wall yet again [Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE WYD??? LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!! So, Harry loves to have Louis pinned to walls and lives for the exhibitionism...me as H tbh]

“I didn’t even hear the goddamn door open,” Louis mutters. “But what’s your excuse? You have super hearing!” [He was to busy fingering u in the bathroom hallway NOT EVEN IN THE BATHROOM but the damn hallway!! :/ Also, did he even wash his hands afterwards? Harry over there talking about health code violations to the wanting to be dead, undead Panera boy but he over here fingering Louis’ ass and not even washin his hands afterwards...ya nasty]

Harry goes full on drama with it and dips Louis right there in the middle of the restaurant [Louis as if ur life doesn’t revolve around drama...sit yo big ass down istg...also this was extra af but cute af so like I’m here for this]

He wraps his larger pinky around Louis’ smaller one as he speaks, and Louis gives him a small smile and nods [THIS IS LOWKEY SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING FOR PNL. YOU AIN’T SLICK BINCH. I SEE U. Anyways, y’all can read Pinkies Never Lie HERE. Good shit. Good shit...lots of hot sex especially H wearing his rings fingering Louis scene...ijs. This scene was cute too btw]

It was raining that day, and in Louis’ mind’s eye, every rain droplet that hit the car window was there to cleanse him of everything that he had been with Luke [Literally look can CHOKE but I liked this sentence quite a lot]

“And in the last ten minutes, I’ve revised my opinion on your intelligence quite a bit, so for it to go even lower is saying something" [Listen, Nick being involved was quite a shock I will admit...but also he was literally so dumb af in this scene and I love that Harry told him so lololol]

“Louis,” Harry says, and Louis forces his eyes open again. “I love you. I love you so much.” “I love you too,” Louis says, voice quiet and raspy from the damage done to his neck. “Yeah?” Harry says, smiling as he wipes some blood from the corner of Louis’ mouth. “Don’t get cocky about it,” Louis says. His vision is spotty and Harry’s voice sounds very far away. Harry laughs, eyes still wet with tears. “You hadn’t said. Before.” “I was waiting on you,” Louis says, a small smile on his face, echoing what Harry had once said to him [This fucking scene ripped my heart out like wtf SO ASDFGHJKL!!!!!!!!!!!! Like this would be the time they said I love you. I HATE but like I love all at once??? and Like this time Louis was waiting on Harry and IM A MESS FUCC U EMMA U SUCC!!!]

Louis can feel Harry’s fingers tracing a three on his good wrist, and he realizes suddenly that he’s not drawing a three, that he was never drawing a three. He’s drawing a heart [THIS. JFC. Honestly Emma you’re such a sapp...this was so fucking cute and fluffy and asdfghjkl FUCC U]

“But don’t pull a stunt like that ever again,” James says, smiling ear to ear. “I don’t need my lead detective to be the first vampire to die of a heart attack in the history of vampirism” [Lmao me as James...honestly the way Louis attracts trouble...Harry would get a damn heart attack lol]

“Why does everyone always think that arguing is our version of a mating ritual" [Is this binch forreal??? Cause it literally was...they’re bickering and arguing was all foreplay tbh. LOLOLOL]

“Oh Luke,” he says, voice amused. “You still don’t get it. I figured out for myself that I was worth something long before I even met Harry. He was just the first vampire I’d met in a while who believed it too” [YASSSSSSSSS BINCH. THIS RIGHT HERE!!!! IS SO IMPORTANT.SO SO SOOOO IMPORTANT!!! HE DON’T NEED NO ONE TO REALIZE AND KNOW HE’S WORTH IT]

While Harry gets their satanic ritual or whatever it is he’s aiming for going [Hahahaha again with this type of humor. I LOVEEEE]

“A lifetime with you is never going to feel like enough,” Harry says honestly” ... “I guess it’s good that you’re going to have me for longer than that, then,” Louis says [LOUIS GONNA BE A VAMP!!!! FOREVER TOGETHER IM SO HAPPY!!! Also, can we get a sequel? drabble? SUMFFIN?? I vote for hot and hard 🦇 sex ayeee!]

“We were worth the wait” Louis clarifies finally [BINCH FUCK U IMA MESSSSSSSS]

Anyways, this is long af and totally unnecessary but I enjoyed reading this SO DAMN MUCH. I’m in love with this fic. There was a little bit of everything I enjoy reading. I’m still a bit annoyed that I didn’t guess Nick was the second person involved...I was always side eyeing Jeff just cause he didn’t do shit in this fic (funny how art imitates real life lol) and thought it would of been a big WTF lol. Emma, I know this fic was a nightmare at times to write but thank you so much for writing this. Especially bc it was somewhat out of your comfort zone and stuff so I really appreciate it. Okay, Imma stop being sappy and shit but you know how much my weird ass adores fics like this. So, THANK YOU! 

Everyone please go read the 🦇 fic if ya haven’t already and if you have...READ IT AGAIN. 

Xx.