#my back keeps spasming and im stuck laying down bc i literally cannot stand without worrying about collapsing
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im currently in hell but im finally almost finished with a fic after a month so that's good
#my entire body feels like its being crushed#my back keeps spasming and im stuck laying down bc i literally cannot stand without worrying about collapsing#my ribs hurt too bc i dont think they ever healed properly and its reminding me too much of january 2020 and im scared im gonna spiral#but its fine. everything's fine. my body feels like its falling apart but its okay.#squeezing a stuffed animal whenever my muscles decide to fuck me over is helping bc otherwise my arms just kind of. flail around. so it -#- keeps me from doing that#ive successfully been able to keep a good chunk of the trauma thoughts at bay if i look for the fake constellations in the ceiling stars -#- i put up in my bedroom#i took ibuprofen but i forgot to eat. hopefully my stomach won't start hurting on top of all this#im using my brief moments of relief to work on a short fic that's been sitting in limbo for like a month straight so thats nice
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