#my anxiety is making everything hurt | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

moonlight-alexia · 1 year ago

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#need my head to stop screaming at me pls #make it stop #it’s been non stop for days #i just want to feel okay #my anxiety is making everything hurt #my chest feels so tight and burning all the time #i’m always crying #ugh i want to stop existing pls

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worthless-misery · 2 months ago

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Dear diary...

I somehow feel at ease today. But I know this won't last.

It never lasts.

I won't fall for this again.

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mooifyourecows · 12 days ago

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god my anxiety is off the charts today. i cant stop doomscrolling and feeling horrible about the world im living in.

#i hate my government #i hate them i hate them i hate them #im paranoid about bird flu #been keeping all my cats inside just in case #and they just stare at me in boredom #making me feel horrible about choosing to write instead of play with them #feel like a piece of shit bad pet owner #and a loser in general #to make matters worse the anxiety is literally making me physically ill #stomach hurting all morning #like pleeease stop giving me information #i cant handle another thing #and yet i cant stop looking at my phone in case something wonderful happens to make everything else go away #daisuga save me

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kitkat13001 · 18 days ago

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update on love song event: i am hard at work on remaining requests! so far im planning to complete every one i’ve gotten so far, it just might take me a while bc i’ve been really busy as of late 🙈

#love song event!#kitty rant in the tags incoming→#no one look at me #this is slightly embarrassing for me as i usually don’t get insanely personal on here #esp about my genuine personal issues 😬#i am an unserious person by nature😋#but i’ve been really struggling w my mental health lately?? and it’s been kicking my ass #i have a feeling it’s at least partially rooted in the whiplash of having my writing be publicly viewed #i’ve been writing for like eeeever but i’ve never posted it anywhere #and i finally got up the courage to start putting it out there #and it’s been rlly fun!! i’ve met a lot of great people and had many nice things said about my stuff #generally a very positive experience #unfortunately i have MAD anxiety and overthink everything to death #and the constant like influx of having my inner thoughts viewed by people #makes my head hurt #and my heart race #and it’s made me feel very performative?? and overthink like who am i doing this for #bc it used to be just for me?#and idk where that whimsy and joy has gone #so i’ve been thinking abt taking a step back and like #LMAO like reconnecting w the kitty who likes writing stupid shit in her notes app #bc this constant access to all of this is nawtttt good for me i think #i won’t be gone gone i’ll still be around i just need to give myself some grace yk LMAO n time to recover from this shitty ass week #if ur still here ily hi hello sorry this has been kitty’s inner thoughts and feelings goodbye :)

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asfdhgsdkjhgb · 3 days ago

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god is swuarshing me beneath his thumb like i am an aphid or perhaps a clover mite. yeah. its slow and painful and im small. and also meek

#just me rambling again #guys. guys i have been just barely scraping by for what feels like so long it's genuinely so overwhelming and confusing and just very #unsettling for me to be having good feelings especially like.. big ones #i kind of feel like im dying ?? not actually physically but my entire brain just really doesn't know what to do #ive got some rational anxieties but also a lot of really stupid small ones just that are so all over my brain #and the cause feels so stupid. ok cool so ur falling for one of ur friends. happens. ok so same friend VERY OBVIOUSLY likes you too. ok ok #a little weirder but something that has happened before #but there's just so much in mybrain anxious abt stuff (ive been forgetting to take my anxiety meds a lot the past week(#idk i just feel like somehow it's not fair to them??#like. being with me or me trying to maybe be with them feels like... im taking away something from them or from their life #even tho we literally talked last night abt dates we really really wish we could go on #and how we obviously would just work well together we're compatible in basically every way #it also would be low pressure not heavy commitment because at the end of the summer we're both planning to move for college things #and she's looking at colleges in New York and nyc and im looking at colleges in oregon or Washington #so yeah.. literally across the entire country from each other #but that almost scares me more bc i have the it will come back hozier type of attachment issues where it's so so difficult for me to ever #let go of things once ive latched on (everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it or whatever) and i really don't want to leave my #claw marks in them bc like. god i really would adore having a thing for however many months we have but im so goddamn scared #that im either not going to be able to let go or one of us is going to detach well before we leave bc thats a reasonable emotional response #and thatll be it's own hell #but also #im 18 almost 19 (and i will make clear that they're in the year below me which also makes me feel really bad but that's a whole other can o #worms there) and its been a long while since ive just. let myself LIVE. ive been the shell of a man for months now. maybe another #stupid and wonderful and beautiful and terrible teenage romance wouldnt be the end of the world.#hell i was so convinced i would never ever ever not be in love with my more recent ex girlfriend and i still love her as a person but im #definitely not still in love with her and our splitting hurt but it was something that i was able to cope with and grow through #idk im rambling a lot longer than i have in a while i just have a lot of feelings right now.#i want to kiss them (again and more) i want to go to a stupid drive in movie and go to museums together and a picnic and all the shit that #we talked about last night and we both love in similar ways and feel our feelings really big and unapologetically #idk i have so much to say but running out of tags on here. double date maybe on friday ? we'll see what happens i guess.

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crybaby-bkg · 2 years ago

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Dabi is surprisingly a lightweight. You honestly would’ve never figured by looking at him, but as you think back on it, you’ve never really seen him drink a lot. Not when there were celebratory parties, or when things didn’t go right for him. It’s why you’re so shocked when you convince two shots into his system, why he suddenly looks so loose, why his grin splits so wide.

He’s a clinger, you’ve also learned as you’ve started observing the blue eyed man where he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. His body bends over almost uncomfortably to fit into the position, and you can’t help but flinch a little when his damp breath blows a quiet little raspberry on your flesh.

omg wait my favorite thought is of you not even necessarily being a heavyweight, you can just handle your liquor a little better than anyone expects. you love to knock back drink after drink, convince Dabi into some stupid competition that he falls for because he’s such a little nerd and secretly wants to impress you. he does it thinking you’ll be the drunk one first, the one hanging off of his arm and hopefully his dick by the end of the night.

it belatedly shocks him when it’s the exact opposite. when he’s slurring a little and smiling at you, when you watch him through low eyes with a wide grin, when he wraps himself around you like a python, when you shake his face gently as you squish his cheeks together in hand. he’s just so utterly obsessed with you in these moments, and maybe it’s the liquor in him, but he knows his lowered inhibitions are only bringing forth the feelings he’s always suppressed.

drunk sex with Dabi where he’s the one too loose limbed and limp and weak. he flops onto bed like some rag doll with his arms and legs spread wide, but he musters up enough strength to release the heavy weight of his cock from its confinements. doesn’t do much besides lift his head from the pillows with a point to his crotch and a lazy grin, an announcement of, go ahead and hop on already before he’s flopping back down again, ready to lay back and get fucked like how he knows he deserves.

#at first I wrote about him getting whisky dick and not even realizing it and being so embarrassed about it the next morning #but it made me laugh too hard and I was like #no one will enjoy that dude shut up AJSHDKDJDJD #but omg lightweight baby that can only cling to you and whine to go back to your room to fuck #only to pass out immediately on the bed lmfao #I love him I’m gonna str*ngle him so bad #anyway I finished all my work for the week and now I feel empty so I will be moving onto next weeks work tomorrow LOL NERD #but everything next week is simple too so why not get it out the way ya know????#after that I might sit down and actually write another fic since it’s been a little minute #everyone voted for therapist obsessed bkg next but I kinda wanna write something emotional for touya now lmfao #I’m becoming so obsessed with him and it HURTS!!!!!#I can only handle one ☝🏻 at a time or else I start getting the shakes #also omg my regular dr is making me go to the heart dr bc she said my anxiety worries her for my physical condition aksjdj embarrassing #okay bye I’m gonna read a little and sleep #—new treat in the streets! 🍫#dabi treats! 🍬#tw: alchohol mention

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brown-little-robin · 1 year ago

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#Robin processes emotions on main #already I am struggling with studying Japanese #not with the language itself so much. I'm making progress on that #but with this horrible kind of anxiety #I writhe not being the best at things that I'm trying to do. I writhe wondering if I should just give up.#this is why I had a horrible time studying Greek in high school as well: can't know it well enough fast enough #it's like I'm dying a little every day convincing myself no it's FINE not to know everything right away. it's OKAY.#it's okay if you stop learning Japanese in the future and it's okay if you keep learning Japanese. it's okay it's okay it's—#hhhhhhhhhhhh #it's such a complicated language it's making my stomach hurt right now thinking about how I want to learn kanji but it's So Much #and I don't know HOW to learn it #I've never really learned a language before (Greek does NOT count) and I'm learning all the complexities of the Japanese language and going #going oh....... this is........ actually extremely much...... and I'm never going to be a native speaker.......#I'm trying So Hard to embrace dying a little to my perfectionism every day but it's HARD. WAILS #No one Told me learning a language would make me want to cry because it's simply impossible to master!!!!#WAH!!!!#I'm trying to keep sight of the fact that it's not about my pride it's about having fun and embracing Small challenge and Small rewards #I really do feel so happy every time I recognize a word or understand the grammar when watching anime #it's just thinking about the Entire language that's psyching me out #Robin learns Japanese

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cemeterym · 5 months ago

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i'm begging my uni to stop making every fucking student social activity something where you have to walk around a bunch if you are a slow walker who cannot help it they literally want you dead

#i try to walk as fast as i humanly can. which i shouldn't bc it hurts and makes me dizzy. and i'm still slower than everyone else #last week we divided into groups and had to walk to checkpoints around the city to do tasks #i had a friend in my group who knows abt my issues and they walked slower with me which was nice. everyone else walked like 10 20 meters #ahead and it was fucking embarrassing bc for every checkpoint they had to wait for me #and i felt bad my friend couldn't talk to anyone else in the group bc they were zooming way ahead of us and i'm the one who couldn't keep up #and like. they didn't know my body's fucked. but these are people i do not know well at all and maybe i don't wanna disclose my medical #history to everyone i interact with #and like this event wasn't mandatory. i could've skipped it #but it's every fucking time #most nights we end up going to a bar and to these people “walking distance” is like a half an hour. and they walk fast #i can never keep up #i don't reallu enjoy bars either and i don't drink but you just kinda have to endure to socialize. some days i can't handle it tho #this week there's another checkpoint type activity. i know i shouldn't. i know i'm gonna slow everyone down #but i got specifically asked and invited to be a part of a team. i can't remember the last time that happened #also we're doing a group costume and mine includes platform heels on the streets of a very old city i am so cooked #my friend is nice tho. they know the basic lore and check up on me a bunch which always catches me off guard 😭#i'm used to pushing through and also used to people not really taking my shit into consideration so i don't know how to respond sometimes #2 people in the group know the issues and i just sent the gc a “sorry in advance i can't walk very fast” so like what else is there to do #only accessibility info we're ever given is if it's wheelchair accessible. and that's good. like you should do that. but it kinda ends there #like how much walking is there. where are the stops. are there places to sit.#i love having to either push through or be excluded disabilities are awesome #been in soooo much pain lately and have to take breaks walking uphill. functional body #i live in an area where everything. literally everything. is uphill one way or another. so as you can imagine it's going great #also “you have to endure to socialize” as if i don't end up hovering around my friend like a lost puppy with separation anxiety anyway #the group costume is winx club. btw

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earl-grey-crow · 2 months ago

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#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals #I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had #trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it #the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport #and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it #I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions #like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i #so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left #to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works #but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder #especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm #which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final #the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources #but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor #that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different #if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier #and with phenomenally less stress #I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc #which is what he wanted it submitted as #except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations #I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where #I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better #anyway #maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough #for me to finish #earl crow ramblings

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the-one-who-lambs · 7 months ago

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Excellent: I have EXTREMELY vivid emotional development in mind for my character and it's SO compelling

Devastating: It's me projecting onto them

#hannah's rambles #okay listen. without revealing too much of my personal life or anything heres the gen concept:#me @ lambert and #love is talked about as feelinf beautiful #as making everything feel worth it and hopeful but also complex and hurtful and anxiety-inducing #what i dont see people talking about enough is the disgust with yourself.#Anyway lamberts gonna try to gaslight themself about their own (romantic) love

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pink-lemonadefairy · 6 months ago

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🌻 ₊˚⊹ ࿔ 🌳

#the weather is so lovely today. it’s breezy and cool but the sun is warm so it’s not too cold or too hot out.#i wish it was like this forever.#ive been feeling so tired lately. physically n mentally & idk if its an underlying health issue or bc i haven’t been sleeping super well #the past few days i wake up in the middle of the night but im able to go back to sleep fairly quickly. but i STILL feel exhausted.#im supposed to talk about my lab results w my doc tmrw on the phone so. i hope everything is okay but tbh i wouldn’t be surprised if #something wasn’t optimal. my iron was okay last time i checked it though. sigh i just idefk anymore.#im sick of everything. im irritable for no reason. i don’t wanna do anything. like anything. i just want to rot in my bed #and even my interests are slowly slipping away from me. writing? couldn’t care less if i don’t write anything for the rest of the year tbh.#reading? i couldn’t even care to browse the shelves when we went to the bookstore the other day and it scared the shit out of me #kpop? meh.#i have a massive to do list and uni starts in a month and i have no energy. + dealing with my own brain and nonsensical thoughts on top #of that. overthinking anxiety all that super great stuff.#im also sick of putting in 110% into my relationships and getting half of it back. family friends whoever. and it makes me so sad. +#i feel like nobody even understands me. or even tries to or wants to.#im just tired #sick and tiredddddd #actually a bit sick too my throat hurts #anyways whatever #it’ll be fine i guess #i don’t want to give up but i don’t have any desire to push through im sort of just. floating. ill deal with it when i deal with it #♡ dear diary…

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nabsthevulture · 4 months ago

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I need something to change for the better as of like a week ago or else I might as well just never get out of bed again

#im so fucking tired of this shit man #like why did i have to be put in this piece of shit body #everything fucking hurts all the time i have to be very wary about what i eat my brain fucking sucks #like the autism chronic bipolar depression anxiety ptsd combination is wild #who fucking approved that #im exhausted im defeated im tired im just done with this #if im unemployed i wont have insurance for my shitty shitty body #but ill be a little happier #and if i work ill have money for insurance but literally almost zero life enjoyment #i spend my entire weekend sleeping #because im in pain and tired #i dont know what to do anymore #im tired of being asked what people can do to help or make it better #i dont fucking know #just kill me man i dont know what you want me to say #my goals all feel horrifically unobtainable #i dont want to do any of this anymore

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exuberantoctopus · 6 months ago

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#fuck I can’t sleep with the lingering anxiety about my dumbass mistake #this morning I sent my mom camping pics and included one that had a shot of my engagement ring #I never told her about getting engaged because I couldn’t stand the thought of my parents’ reactions #whether they were shocked and then forcefully cheerful #or outwardly disturbed #I just didn’t want it to spoil how I felt #honestly there’s every chance they won’t notice the ring #though my hands are prominent in the picture #but I sent them this morning and she responded that she’d look at the pics later #still no response at the end of the day #again every possibility that she just forgot/didn’t get around to it #but it’s eating away at me to think of her feeling betrayed because I kept it from her #it hurts because I want to trust her with everything and some part of me does trust her with everything #but then I get reminded of why I shouldn’t and it hurts #and I can’t figure out how bad of a person it makes me for keeping them in the dark #ugh #pay no attention to the blogger behind the screen

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clockworkbibliophile · 1 year ago

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accepted a job in october under the assumption it was remote bc it said it was. flash forward to now and it’s no longer remote and my manager is on my ass about not owning a car too. it’s crazy bc I really did think my financial situation was finally improving, I finally have health insurance, and I was this close to moving to my dream state of california. and now im days away from being fired. if I don’t quit first. the situation with my manager has become so dire that the only thing I can focus on is my job anxiety. I swear i’ve nearly had a heart attack every day since last week. the anxiety over when she’ll fire me or when she’ll find out I don’t live in the location the job is and how this job could’ve been ok if it weren’t for the fact they lied about the remoteness and how desperately afraid I am of her firing me is all consuming. I haven’t eaten in 2 days. I have isolated myself from everyone I love bc I can’t think, can’t focus on anything but how soul crushing and visceral the anxiety is, how it’s eating away at my stomach and my brain and my soul and I don’t know what to do

#if I continue at this job I think I will lose my sanity #only to eventually be fired #if I quit at least I can have some control over the all consuming anxiety #but then no job means no money and no insurance #and I was so close #so close to being able to move out and live in cali #everything hurts and I can’t breathe properly and haven’t been able to breathe or have a stomach that isn’t in knots for over a week #being unemployed wasn’t nearly this anxiety inducing #i’ll have to tuck tail and give up on my dreams of moving out if I quit #but I don’t see another option #I just I just truly hope that this coming job search will be more successful than last time #maybe I can find a retail job that has insurance #im so afraid #this is all my fault #I wish that I knew how to make the right decision

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solidcarbon · 3 months ago

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#i'd stayed alone for a few days before. for a week. for weeks #but this week was something for some reason #a fight against depression or whatever shit is in my head and i lost it #it was so shitty i can't even describe HOW. all i know that i was supposed to rest and i didn't rest #ED STUFF DON'T READ IF IT TRIGGERS ETC ETC more food was thrown out in these 8 days than i ate #wake up feel awful feel hunger drag yourself out of the bed to the kitchen #realise you in no condition for cooking #or for making a simple sandwich or something #look at food and think “aye i don't like that :(( i don't want that :(( i feel like dying but i can't force myself to eat :((ok back to bed”#LITERALLY hunger HURTS and i CAN'T eat just fucking CAN'T #you feel like you'll collapse on the floor any minute soon and.... yeah you guessed right #it's not like any typical ed i know and not what i could find when digging information abt it #'cus i also sometimes INTO food and even consider it tasty and even WANT it.......#and i tend to cope with stress with sweets sometimes #like WHAT THE FUCK it frustrates me so fucking bad #idk what to do #except for going to therapy. but i can't afford therapy rn #nor i can tell my mother #just need someone who'll repeatedly poke me with reminders to EAT. several times at a time #ED SECTION ENDED!!!#i wanted to say something ant anxiety but forgot what. for good i guess #need positivity. just a bit of it. today i've done half of the stuff i was supposed to do a week ago and i'm up to finishing it when #i'll get home #and everything else is probably ok.#fictional blorbos halping me survive day 948 #dame can't shut up #vent post

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curly-cottage-girl · 6 months ago

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what do you MEAN I have to face old wounds and fears in order to achieve things in life and grow as a person in those specific areas that’s where I’m sensitive!!

#I’m gonna thrup #took tomorrow off to get totally better from being sick #and my brain decided to speed run all my nebulous anxieties about certain things in the future #and how I need to be doing MORE right NOW #and how it’s all gonna be completely TERRIBLE if I don’t do everything now and perfectly and it makes me a pathetic person #and then I look under the surface and it’s like #hmm I remember this issue what are you doing here #which like #HELPS to see that that’s what it is #and as I get older and wiser I feel more capable of dealing with stuff every time #but still!!!!#I need to focus on relaxing but apparently the closest I can get to that is rotting #before it turns into full blown vague panic #ughhghhhhhhhhhh now my stomach hurts

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