#my angsty writing is taking over and i should've gone for fluff lmao

[loyalflutist]

Stony Expression (F!Byleth x Edelgard)

Rating: General Audience Archive Warning: Major Character Death Category: F/F Summary:  It's a compliment to Byleth. Any sort of emotion beyond the generic smile and cheeky attitude never saw the light of day, even in extreme situations. But in her life, there were only three people who saw through her facade.

A/N: RIP, I had an idea after reading the screenshots of dialogues from Byleth in Fire Emblem Heroes. Decided to write a somewhat... heartwarming... not really... kind of work? (We need more Mama Edelgard, if you know what I’m saying.) Hope you enjoy the work! 

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“Gosh, don’t you think the professor is scary, Dorothea?”

“How so?”

“She’s never shown any sort of emotion to us!”

“Um… why are you so bothered about it? Isn’t that the point of keeping cool-headed?”

“It is, to an extent.”

“What do you mean?”

“I heard that when her dad died last week, she didn’t even shed a tear!”

“Whoa. Talk about creepy.”

“You sure you’re telling the truth, Ferdinand? You always seem to blow these situations out of proportion.”

“Um, duh, Casper. I’m sure someone else can attest to it.”

“I doubt so—”

“I did.”

“Lindhardt? YOU?”

“I saw it with my very own eyes. Mmgh… I’m gonna skip class and take a nap, ‘kay?”

“HEY! Don’t you leave us hanging like that!”

“Geez, why are you so loud, Petra?”

“U-Um… don’t… you think we should be… you know… comforting her?”

“I would, Bernadetta, but Teach is clearly keeping her guard up. I mean, just… look at her right now.”

Caspar, Dorothea, Ferdinand, Lindhardt, Petra, and Bernadetta shot a glance at their professor. In the classroom where lecture won’t start for another fifteen minutes, the early birds were given the treat to gossip, jest, and horseplay. The perfect occasion for learning about the hottest rumors too. Today, Ferdinand brought up a rather morbid rumor—No, it wasn’t even a rumor. It was facts about their professor, Byleth.

They kept an eye on Byleth. The young woman in her early 20s fingered through the worksheets behind her desk. Based on their observations, their instructor remained the same. Diligent in her duties, attentive to her colleagues, and always there for her students. That’s the Byleth they knew all too well. However, Ferdinand wasn’t wrong from his remarks. The Byleth they envisioned was a bit more… reactive. Byleth’s stony expression and lack of anything beyond her rare, cheeky attitude painted her in a different light. Strange is a euphemism about the older female. Cold-hearted as a dysphemism about the ex-mercenary.

‘ I’m used to it. ‘

Byleth was not oblivious to their dagger-like stares. It pierced her exposed skin and armor without a moment of hesitation. Despite the mental remark, her shoulder’s muscles became rigid, hidden by the worksheets tossed onto the wooden podium.

‘ They’re just like everyone else. ‘

The male student was not wrong with his impression of her. Her father, whom she looked up to so dearly, died in the heat of battle. It was supposed to be a practical lesson in warfare for her students. The once-a-week “field trip” the staffs put together as part of the Officer’s Academy curriculum. Tragedy hardly described the scene that had befallen them.

Byleth and her father were chaperones and commanders of last week’s trip. A simple mission of pushing back the rebels that dare disrupt the peace near the monastery. It was the usual skirmish to counter any troublemakers and doers. Little did they know of the rebel’s leader. It was an old-time friend of theirs back when they were mercenaries. An older male roughly the same age as her father now stood on the opposite end. They tried to reason with him. The students were uncertain of their role in the fight. He rejected their proposal with a spear thrust into her father’s chest.

The spear

that

pierced

his heart.

It was a complete blur afterward. Byleth knew she didn’t lose her composure. That would be disastrous for the remaining troops and students left on the field. In lieu of fury, she coolly commanded the units to defeat the rebellion. Victory was easily achievable… but at what cost?

She shook her head and refocused her attention to the present time. From the far back, the green-haired spotted Edelgard and Hubert make their entrance into the classroom. The chatters from the other Black Eagles simmered down at the appearance of the two intimidating figures. Both the noble Edelgard and commoner Byleth made eye contact. Byleth smiled. Edelgard’s cheeks reddened before hurrying to her assigned seat at the front. Hubert narrowed his eyes at the professor and seated himself in the back. As if the death of her father hadn’t occurred, her classroom ran exactly as how it should’ve operated. Even the addition of a romantic relationship that recently sparked between Edelgard and Byleth didn’t disrupt the natural order for education.

It was

all so normal.

Like he

never

died.

Was this… really what she wanted though? Did Byleth want some sort of validation?

“Good morning, everyone.”

Byleth’s mature voice rang throughout the premise. If there were any remaining whispers and giggles, they were hushed by the more responsible scholars. She approached the podium. Then, with both hands lightly gripping the surface’s edge, she scanned her surroundings.

Nothing out of place. (Right?) Lindhardt was also present, which was a bit of a surprise. Byleth had lowered her expectations ever since he skipped class for a nap in the garden. The fact that he was here was a huge plus. That amusing idea screeched to a complete halt when he began to nod off. The corner of her lip twitched. At least he did try to come to class…

As for the others… Ferdinand was eyeing the white-haired rival with a small smirk. He twirled a feather between his index and middle finger, eyes twinkled in excitement. A typical reaction from their competitive relationship. Petra toyed with her hair and rolled her eyes at the sight of Ferdinand’s obvious reaction about their future lord. Casper stifled a yawn, elbows on the table and chin resting on the palms of his hands. Bernadetta had beads of sweat fly out of her head as her thumbs toyed with one another. Dorothea sat at the front like an obedient puppy. Maybe a bit too obedient since she was clearly shooting heart eyes at the professor in a playful manner… And then there was Hubert. Oh, Hubert. He was always a loyal servant to Edelgard. The man is kind, but ever since Byleth started a private and secretive relationship with the noble, he has been awfully overprotective with the young lady.

Byleth suppressed a sigh. She closed her eyes and, after counting to five, reopened them and flashed her signature smile.

“Let’s review some materials from last week. It doesn’t hurt to get a little refresher after the long three-day weekend.”

The three-day weekend that was partially due to her absence to quietly mourn for her father. Byleth had disappeared from existence to visit his grave. Accompanied by the ever-so-noisy Sothis that she can only see, speak, hear, and touch, the two paid their respect. Numbness. Byleth felt numb during those three days. No—she still felt numb right now.

“I’m surprised you can still hold yourself together, mortal,” Sothis muttered. She crossed her arms and looked up to the female. “But don’t hold it all in. The bottle is going to explode one day.”

Sothis was one of the few individuals who saw through Byleth’s brick-like features. The second person is her father.

She lowered her gaze. Soon, the woman got down to her knees and reached out to touch her father’s tombstone. His name will forever be immortalized on the thick slab of rock. Unfortunately, it won’t be immortalized for a reason worth celebrating.

“…leth.”

The ex-mercenary now found herself staring at an empty desk. This shared office with other staffs not prestigious enough to earn their own office (like Byleth), who were crammed into this one area. Her father was one of them, yet he never complained. In reality, he had actually enjoyed it. The daughter would always hear his jolly laughter and gruff voice echo from within. Students unfamiliar with his booming personality were in for a shock every single time they walk past the room. To Byleth, she welcomed it. After all, he is her father and she is his daughter.

Most of his supplies were placed in a rusted chest box. If there were any supplies to begin with, that is. Her father was not one to possess many materialistic items, save it for his clothes, weapons, armors, and whiskey. There wasn’t even a family portrait in his possession! He was always a firm believer that memories were picturistic enough. Seeking nostalgia? Dig even deeper into the memory zone. Forgot about it? It was probably not important enough to remember!

“By…”

Byleth sat on her mattress, her knees held close to her chest. She hugged them and stared at the somewhat decorated wall. Unlike her father, she allowed a bit of flair to settle in her personal space. Student notes were pinned to the wall. Some portraits and doodles hung alongside with them. One of them was a portrait of everyone in the Officer’s Academy. All three houses were together, and all of the staffs stood for the shot. It took the artist more than five hours to get them squeezed into this magnificent art. The process was excruciating but worth it.

It was the only physical piece of evidence she has in memory of her father. Her heart clenched at the thought of his death. Flashbacks replayed over and over in her head at the time of his doom. She nearly scoffed at mental torment. How much longer was this going to go on?

It

was going to

keep

on

going.

“Byleth.”

The older female blinked. Warmth enveloped her entire being in one swoop. Frantic, she rapidly examined her surroundings—until Byleth considered the context of her current situation. Edelgard held her seated mentor in an embrace. The two were safely hiding in the professor’s now-closed office. It was still early evening where students ran amok in the monastery. Musical melodies from talented choir members faintly trickled through the glass windows. A light breeze ruffled nearby leaves of a tree. Birds chirped alongside with the singers as an accompanist. It was a pleasant day.

Well, it was supposed to be for the two. Edelgard fingers began to run through her lover’s hair, nails satisfyingly brushing the scalp. She planted a gentle kiss to Byleth’s head.

“It’s okay to show what you’re feeling, Byleth.”

No—That wasn’t right. It wasn’t Byleth’s nature to show her feelings to the public. The stony expression, the bland reaction to extreme situations… those were compliments. She’s been told that she lacks emotion since she was a little girl! Even the Black Eagles think she is cold-hearted and cruel in the face of battle! Many of the students and paid troops think of her as an anomaly. Byleth thinks it’s natural.

But when it came to grief this strong, Byleth felt her heartstrings tug. For once, she wanted to let someone know about how she felt. It’s not an easy feat, though. The other half of her rational personality scream that she keeps it to herself. There was no use in burdening others of her sorrows and mourns. The death of her mother was a shining example of this. Besides, even if she did try to open up, she couldn’t. This nature of hers was just too ingrained into her system.

Edelgard continued to smooth through Byleth’s hair. In response, Byleth buried her face into the noble’s abdomen. The aromatic scent blossomed in the teacher’s sensory nerves. She gradually wrapped her arms around the student. Byleth deeply inhaled. A shaky exhale. At that instant, the floodgates from her lacrimal glands came loose as she felt her respiration shudder. The mentor slowly shook her head against Edelgard.

“Why did he have to die?”

She bit her lower lip hard. Eyelids stiff, throat scratchy, a choking cry erupted from her lips.

“I should’ve died in his place!”

Edelgard simply ran her fingers through the green locks, her eyes focused on her girlfriend. Soft “shh”s emitted from her lips as she planted another tender kiss on the head. Small whispers of “you’re going to be okay” and “I’m here for you, Byleth” sprinkled during the breakdown. It caused great agony to the empire’s upcoming lord to feel powerless for her teacher. However, unlike Byleth, who beat herself up, Edelgard’s emotional and mental health was far more resilient. Could it be because she was able to properly grieve when the time came? To release her anger unto others in an appropriate manner? Perhaps. For Byleth, she had always held everything inside.

“Oh, I miss him so much!”

She curled her fingers inward and dug her nails into Edelgard’s clothes. A slight wince from the student went unnoticed as she continued to wail uncontrollably. It was so unlike Byleth. If anyone else were to witness this, they would have assumed a trickster replaced Byleth with another person!

This is no good. Byleth is breaking free from her nature. She shouldn’t be venting, let alone blast her emotions to another person… even if that person is her significant other. Yet it was too late for Byleth. She became oversensitive from being honest with her feelings. The fear. The sadness. The grief. Out of all the people that saw through her façade, for Edelgard, she was the third person in her life to have seen through her stony expression.