#my ND food preferences have been a pain in the ASS with this let me tell you

[hikeyzz]

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[gayoperatorgunclub]

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME: MontaDoc Edition? Pretty please? Or any MontaDoc content. I crave it. Much 💕

of course!!!!!!! sorry this has taken so long, but i sincerely hope you enjoy it!!! 💝💝💝

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - for fucking EVER!!!!!! 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - two words: mutual. pining. this period, often referred to as the “Beginning of Operation: T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. (Temporary Employment As Masters of Dad And Dad Sweethearts)” however, unbeknownst to anybody else in rainbow, by the time Operation: T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. had begun, gustave and gilles had already been together for a couple of years. how did they actually get together? about six months after the GIGN joined rainbow, gustave was in the middle of a mountain of paperwork when he heard someone clear their throat. he spun around to scold whoever it was for coming to medbay when they were sick (despite the fact that he was coming down with a nasty cold), only to be greeted with gilles leaning nonchalantly against the doorframe. “gustave. you look as though you’re about to meet death for dinner. how can you expect to take care of others when you’re not taking care of yourself?” gustave just sighed and shook his head, muttering something about leaving him be for another couple hours so he could finish his paperwork, but gilles has other ideas. in mere moments, gustave goes from standing over his desk, organizing some files, to being held in gilles’ big strong arms. “wh- gilles! i-” he was cut off by his own yawn, and gilles smiled at him fondly. gustave felt himself blush, and he squirmed a little, but let gilles carry him to the GIGN quarters. as soon as it seemed like gilles was going to leave, gustave pulled him down for a kiss, then pushed their foreheads together and whispered “you’re going to carry me all this way and not even stay to make sure i don’t go back to my office?” gilles just grinned at him, climbing into bed beside him and wrapping his arms around him. 

How was their first kiss? - ROMANTIQUE! and smelling of sickness but what can you do

Wedding:

Who proposed? - monty!! he decided to cook a romantic candlelit dinner at their apartment, and when he sees gustave come home from work, all ragged and exhausted, yet still with a glimmer of determination and subtle joy, he says the first thing that comes to mind: “will you marry me?” gustave froze, his cheeks still rosy and his hair sprinkled with snowflakes. “will i what?” gilles realized his mistake and flushed, stammering a response before gustave was standing in front of him, staring at him scrutinizingly. “gilles.” he started, reaching to intertwine their hands, bring them between their chests, “what did you say?” gilles gulped, then steeled himself and got down on one knee. “gustave kateb. love of my life, light of my days. the man i want to wake up next to every day for the rest of my life. the man who i adore with every fiber of my being. would you do me the honor of being my husband?” 

Who is the best man/men? - for monty: bandit! for doc: lion (everyone but them thought it was a joke until the day of the wedding). dominic and olivier’s dual best man speech is the stuff of legends. there were tears, there was laughter, and there was an almost excessive amount of thinly-veiled sexual innuendos at various people in attendance (including both grooms; the best men were both drunk of their asses) 

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - they actually fight over who gets to pick twitch! meanwhile rook is in the background like D: (don’t worry, it’s decided that he and twitch will be ring bearer and flower girl respectively) for monty: dokkaebi. for doc: finka 

Who did the most planning? - they both did! though gustave focused on food and flowers, and gilles focused on the guest list and the venue (but they ran things by each other before any final decisions were made)

Who stressed the most? - gilles! he was so worried about their families not getting along that he actually prepared a “leave my husband and his family alone or so help me i will never speak to you again” speech

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - gilles’ racist, homophobic, french nationalist uncle (no one in the family likes him, so it wasn’t a big loss) (this uncle also made a surprise appearance at the family dinner where gilles introduced gustave to the rest of his family, and started yelling about “godamn immigrants” and other such bigotted statements, before gilles’ sister physically dragged him out of the house and threw him out the door. afterwards, up in the guest bedroom, gilles quietly tells gustave that it’s okay if he wants to leave, or break up, or anything, and gustave just laughs and tells him that if he wasn’t prepared for family members to express their distaste, he wouldn’t be dating a white man. he pressed a kiss to gilles’ temple, before whispering “although, he was right about my being an immigrant; it’s just that i was born in Paris and immigrated with my family to algeria, not the other way around. A for effort, though”)

Sex:

Who is on top? - gilles!!!! although gustave will occassionally ride him 👀👀👀

Who is the one to instigate things? - gustave is lowkey horny 24/7, but if gilles walks in on him bending over to get something from a cabinet, or tilting his head all the way back while drinking from his water bottle, thereby showcasing the way his throat moves as he swallows, he will lose his shit 

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - okay i’m gonna change this one to an explanation of some things from below. i personally think doc lowkey a freak, and gilles is happy to oblige him if that’s what his lapin wants (although he’s not entirely sure how he feels about this “overstimulation” and “post-orgasm torture” and “cock & ball torture” stuff. specifically, he’s not sure he likes hurting gustave, but, while he probably won’t admit it out loud, he secretly adores making gustave cry. when he’s so helpless and powerless and mindless, and he’s begging for something, but for what he doesn’t really know. maybe it’s the knowledge that gilles is in complete control, that gustave trusts him to do this, to make him hurt and cry and just melt, the knowlege that gustave is completely reliant on him for his pleasure, his pain, and everything in between. it’s a heady thing, and gilles isn’t sure how he feels about it, but he’s pretty sure the warmth in his chest and the warmth in his gut are good signs 

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - unless they’re doing some of the things mentioned above, or mayhaps some denial 👀👀👀 then yeah, everyone gets the same. they’re very considerate when they’re just doing vanilla 

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children: btw, the rest of this is kinda set in a post-retirement au (idrk i just want them to have a farm and be peaceful). give it whatever context u want tho, i was just havin fun

How many children will they have? - they will have four cats and a dog, as well as 2 horses, a donkey, 5 cows, an alpaca, a rabbit, some ducks, a flock of sheep and goats, and the occasional visit from a herd of deer from the forest surrounding their little farm

How many children will they adopt? - since humans CANNOT, i repeat, CANNOT, give birth to the animals listed above, they’re all adopted

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - no one. the animals potty train themselves

Who is the stricter parent? - gilles sneaks them treats while gustave lectures them about dietary habits, so take your pick 

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - whenever gilles leaves to run errands, one of the goats goes into a depression so deep and miserable that they’re utterly inconsolable until he comes back. once they hear the sound of the car in the driveway, this lil goat, lovingly named “Bastard” by gustave, will climb onto the roof of the house and scream his joy over gilles’ return to the heavens 

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - they tag team on things like feeding the animals and cleaning out the barn, but gustave is much more organized about it

Who is the more loved parent? - the cats, dog, one of the horses, donkey, alpaca, rabbit, goats (except for Bastard), and deer all prefer gustave, though gilles is adequate in the event that gustave is busy with something else (although the alpaca and donkey hate his guts, and will escape their pastures to break into the house and be near gustave. gilles maintains that they’re both devil-spawn, but gustave says he’s just being dramatic and that Thamin (alpaca) and Albalatin (donkey) are complete angels who could do no wrong)

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - animals have NOT unionized. yet. 

Who cried the most at graduation? - idk if this counts, but when Bastard finally figured out how to get himself down from the roof after getting himself onto it, gilles cried for an hour

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - gilles lowkey does whenever thamin and albalatin escape to go out into the world and commit crimes, but only to make sure his husband doesn’t get upset when he finds out his precious creatures are hell beasts. certainly not out of anything resembling tolerance or *shudder* like 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - gustave, but gilles can make a mean bowl of cereal

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - gustave. gilles will eat something straight from the garden and gustave is like “DID YOU CHECK IF IT WAS RIPE?????? YOU COULD DIE FROM THAT YOU KNOW, THEN WHERE WOULD I BE???” 

Who does the grocery shopping? - gustave. gilles is something of a hermit in their town, and people often remark about the “sweet, kind doctor and his utter brick wall of a husband” 

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever Bastard goes a day without doing something Bastardous 

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - both lowkey prefer salad, since they care for many animals that would often get used for their meat, and they can’t bear to think about hurting any of their babies

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - gilles. the people in town helped him when he burst into the little grocery store all panicked like “I NEED TO MAKE MY HUSBAND A SURPRISE DINNER BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE” 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - gustave. gilles like being at home, but city-boy over here thinks that restaurants are a weekly luxury

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - neither. it was thamin and albalatin, attempting to frame gilles for yet another felony

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - gustave. everything is color coded. sex toys included 

Who is really against chores? - gilles. gustave films him whenever he actually does clean and yells things like “go white boy go!!” and sends them to twitch for her T.E.A.M. D.A.D.S. scrapbook 

Who cleans up after the pets? - they both do, but gilles gets stuck with shit duty more often than not

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - gilles, once. gustave walked in, sniffed the air, then glared at him until he actually swept whatever it was up and threw it away 

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - gustave “we can’t have guests over, the house is a mess” kateb

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Bastard. he then proceeded to eat it

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - gustave and his hour-long skincare routine 

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - gustave, bc sadiqi the dog (not to be confused with sadiqi the kitten), or Big Sadiqi (kitten sadiqi is Little Sadiqi) is his, gilles, and he will not allow his precious boy to be influenced by such creatures as Bastard 

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - they get little sweaters for the animals. that is all

What are their goals for the relationship? - joke: gustave always says “the White Man’s money” despite the fact that his family is richer than gilles’. woke: mutual happiness, comfort, and healing 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - gustave. after 11 am, thamin and albalatin decide they’ve had enough and break in to lay down on the bed next to him. gilles banishes himself to the couch for a week

Who plays the most pranks? - Bastard, thamin, and albalatin. although gustave did dye the sheep’s wool (while it was still attached to them) different colors and patterns and, for the ones who were perfectly content to sit still and be held, replicas of famous paintings (his favorite artist is monet, in case you forgot that he’s french)

[ofbeastsandwizards]

Sucker [Loki x Reader]

Still no requests so far! Send some in, I take anons! :D

Anyways, had a bit of an idea after listening to this song, so have another song-shot uwu

Title/song: Sucker (Jonas Brothers)

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: You and Loki had been best friends on Asgard, and he truly felt you were the only one who cared for him other than his mother. When you left for Midgard years ago, he returned once again to Earth, and spent time with you, and he *innocently* took you out for lunch, and it just became a flirtatious, Disney Musical Number mess.

Warnings: Disney romance vibes, LOTS OF OOC LOKI, Loki being a flirt hehe. ALSO I KINDA WENT A BIT LEWD IN THIS ONE EHEHE- (meaning jokes and language)

Italic: Flashbacks

Bold/Italic: Song Lyrics

We go together

Better than birds of a feather, you and me

“Loki!” You yelled, racing up the steps to the palace, a wide grin on your face. You were young, and still a child in most Asgardian’s eyes. 

Loki was sitting on the palace steps, an eyebrow raised. His hands were clasped in front of him on his lap. You sat down next to him panting from climbing the stairs. 

You offered him a smile, and he looked over his shoulder to stare at you with a questioning look. With a mischievous smirk, you leaned over to him. 

“Wanna go prank Thor?” You asked.

Loki’s eye’s went wide, and he gave you a wide smile, standing up. The two of you then ran down the steps. 

We change the weather, yeah.

I’m feelin’ heat in December when you’re around me

You were still young, but looked to be in your teens now. You were sitting on a rock, Thor standing and practicing his powers. You watched him carefully as you felt Loki approach you, and you turned as he sat next to you. It was one of the few moments he wasn't looking for trouble. 

You slung an arm around his shoulder, giving him a smile. 

I’ve been dancing on top of cars, and stumbling out of bars

I follow you through the dark, can’t get enough

You waved goodbye to Loki and Thor, as well as their parents. You were standing at the edge of the Bifrost. You had a sad look in your eye. You had to leave. You, despite being almost full Asgardian, had family on earth, and after your parents died in a fire, you had nowhere left to turn.

The brothers offered to house you, but you declined, stating ou needed to get to know the rest of your heritage. Plus, you didn't want to place that burden on the king and queen.

You’re the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain

And, Baby you know it’s obvious

It’s been many years now, and you have been living on Earth, with your aunt and uncle. You’d even lost your accent, now having a fully American one at that. (Even though at random, usually inappropriate times, you’d drop back into your accent)

It’s a peaceful Sunday, and you’re out to the market to buy some fruit, and freshen up on some plums. As you were walking back from the Sunday market, however, a giant rainbow beam of light erupted in front of you, sending you stumbling backwards. The light vanished, leaving a tipsy Loki in it’s presence. 

He began to fall forward, and you gracefully caught him in your arms. You noticed he had a few injuries and that was probably why he seemed so off.

He looked up at you momentarily, before pushing himself off of you and clearing his throat, avoiding your intense gaze. 

I’m a sucker for you

You say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly

Awkwardly, he glances over to you. Your eyes are wide and you’re examining him. His hair was no longer short, it was shoulder length, and his clothing was anything but casual. 

“What are you staring at, Mortal?” He asked harshly. He must not have recognized you. You frowned.

“Loki. I would have figured you’d remember your best friend.” You smirked.  Loki whipped around and stared you in the eye. Then his crystal blue eyes went wide.

“[Y/n]?” He asked, surprised. 

You rolled your eyes, placing a hand on your hip. “No shit.” Your smirk fell, and was replaced with a small smile. “Welcome back.”

I'm a sucker for you, yeah Any road you take, you know that you'll find me

It had been about two weeks since Loki arrived back on Earth. He’d been staying with you for a while, and constantly whining about how the food here was never as good as that on Asgard.

Of course, you had forgot all about how the food tasted on Asgard, and couldn't care less. Instead, you stuck to the usual boxed Mac and Cheese.

But, today was somehow different. You’d probably grown closer with Loki than ever before, even when you were on Asgard. You were just about to make a bowl of cereal for lunch, still dressed in pajamas from getting up so late. Obviously, Loki hadn’t bothered to wake you.

Despite being best friends, he was still a jack-ass sometimes. 

I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things No one knows about you (about you) about you (about you)

Loki entered the room, eyeing your cereal in disgust. You regarded him with a raised eyebrow. “Can I help you?” You asked with a light chuckle.

Loki recomposes himself, and looked you in the eye. “Get ready, we’re going out.”

With that, he leaves the room. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “Okay then.” You set your cereal bowl on the counter, heading to your room to change, which you do. You end up changing into something casual, but which you thought was ‘cute’. It was a simple pair of high waisted jeans, and a t-shirt. You added on some random pieces of jewelry and slipped on your converse. 

“Alright, where are we going again?” You ask as you shut the door to your apartment. Loki looks you up and down, before continuing down the hall.

“Lunch.” You roll your eyes.

And you're making the typical me break my typical rules It's true, I'm a sucker for you, yeah

Around 10 minutes later of walking, you arrive at a semi-fancy resturant. You. eye it suspiciously. “Well then, somebody’s feeling generous.” You muttered to yourself as Loki found a seat. 

Sitting down, you pull off your sweatshirt, and stare at the menu. Unbeknownst to you, however, Loki was gazing at you from over his, watching your eyes scan the page.

Don't complicate it (yeah) 'Cause I know you and you know everything about me

You sat the menu down with a conflicted face. “Burger or Pasta...?” You asked yourself.

“Whichever you prefer, love.” Loki mumbles. Your eyes go wide. Loki had never called you that before. He looks up at you, a mischievous look in his eyes. “I think you’ll like the pasta more, though.”

You shut the menu, and raise a brow. “Is that so?”

Loki leans over the table, and looks over your surprised face with a casual smirk. “Believe me. I know you better than I know myself.”

Your face begins to heat up, but you won’t let that stop your witty comebacks. “Oh please. It’s been years, Loki. You barely know me at all. Meanwhile I know you like the back of my hand.”

Loki grins, and leans closer to whisper in your ear. “That’s where you’re wrong.”

He leans back and looks over his menu again casually, as if nothing had happened. You stare at him wide eyed, growing increasingly flustered. He’s never been this way around anyone before.

I can't remember (yeah) All of the nights I don't remember When you're 'round me (oh, yeah yeah)

After ordering, your food arrives, and you twist your fork through the noodles. You bring the food up to your mouth and bite down. The taste is sensational, and you try hard not to let your taste bud orgasm be known to the man across from you.

However your melting state alerts him, and he looks up from his own food with a classic Loki smirk™. You finish your first bite, swallowing hard and putting on your best stoic expression. 

“Mm.” You tried to say as you swallowed. 

“It was good, wasn’t it?” He asked.

You shrugged. “Decent.”

“For Midgardian food, yes.” Loki joked.

You gasped. “You mean my cooking isn’t good?” 

He rolled his eyes and gave you a look. “Please, Darling. Nothing compares to your beautifully cooked top ramen.” You raised an eyebrow.

“What’s with all the nicknames?” You asked. He continued to eat, giving you an innocent look.

“What nicknames?”

I've been dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars I follow you through the dark, can't get enough

You finally managed to finish the pasta, giving into it’s wonderful taste. Sighing happily, you leaned back. 

Loki smiled at you. “How was it?” 

“Okay, fine. It was amazing.” You admitted.

He smirked. “I knew it.”

You rolled your eyes, looking away from those big blue eyes of his.

You're the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain And, baby, you know it's obvious

Soon enough, the bill was paid, and you were both walking outside the resturant. You tied your sweatshirt around your waist. “Where to now?” You asked.

Loki looked to you, confused. 

“Ooh! We should go to the park! Come on!” You were about to start sprinting down the street when Loki caught your arm, shaking his head.

“I really shouldn’t be out in public for any longer.” You looked at him worriedly.

“What? No! Please?” You asked, giving him the puppy-dog eyes. 

He immediately faltered, loosening his grip. He looked away, taking a deep breath. “Oh, fine.”

You grinned, grabbing his wrist and racing down the street, catching Loki by surprise. He, however smiled at your antics and rolled his eyes playfully. 

I'm a sucker for you You say the word and I'll go anywhere blindly

The both of you were now entering the park, walking through as you talked mindlessly, whilst Loki got lost in your voice. 

You did things to him, things he couldn’t quite explain.

I'm a sucker for you, yeah Any road you take, you know that you'll find me

You noticed a playground, and suddenly grabbed Loki’s hand, beginning to run towards it making him stop in place, and jolt at the sudden contact. You stopped, being pulled back by Loki’s now stiff form. You gave him a questioning look.

“What is it?” You asked. Loki was staring at you now, with wide eyes. He shook his head.

“Nothing.” He said coldly. You gave him an odd look. 

“What’s up with you?” You asked. 

Loki turned. “Nothing! Alright?!” 

You were taken aback. “Obviously, it’s not nothing.”

I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things No one knows about you (about you) about you (about you)

Loki dared to meet your eyes, taking you in once again. 

That’s when he realized you were still holding his hand, tightly now.

And you're making the typical me break my typical rules It's true, I'm a sucker for you, yeah

You breathed easily, eyes trailing down to your connected hands. You immediately backtracked, and held back your hands, wide eyed.

“I am so sorry.” You stuttered. Loki shook his head, offering you a surprisingly gentle smile.

I've been dancing on top of cars and stumbling out of bars I follow you through the dark, can't get enough You're the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain And, baby, you know it's obvious

He then reached forward, taking your hand back, and placing it between his hands, which were cold, for obvious reasons. You didn’t mind though. It was a nice contrast to the hot summer day.

He moved to a nearby bench, dragging you with him.

I'm a sucker for you You say the word and I'll go anywhere blindly

He sat and looked down. You’d never seen the god so anxious before. It kind of worried you. “Is something wrong?” You asked him nervously. 

I'm a sucker for you, yeah Any road you take, you know that you'll find me

“No, no...” He mumbled. “I just...wanted to tell you something.” 

He had you sit down on the bench beside him, and he took a deep breath.

I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things No one knows about you (about you) about you (about you)

“[Y/n]. I’ve known you for so long, and honestly, I’ve always seen you as one of the bravest, kindest, funniest people I know. You were always there for me when nobody else was, and I know how much it hurt to leave Asgard. At first I was mad, genuinely. But now, I think I know why you chose to come here. And I guess, I wanted to apologize or not visiting sooner...I just, I thought maybe you’d think of me as a monster....after what happened with New York.” He said. You mouth was hanging open slightly as you stared at him. 

“Oh, Loki...you could never be a monster...you’re amazing the way you are. But...y-you’ve never been this open before...” You stuttered. He chuckled, finally looking up to meet your gaze. That’s when you got lost in his eyes. His eyes had a tendency to do that to you. They always had, even on Asgard(which could make for some pretty awkward conversation).

And you're making the typical me break my typical rules It's true, I'm a sucker for you

He was now looking into your eyes, and was holding your hands. “Listen, [Y/n]. I don’t know what you’re doing to me. It’s like you can see right through me, and all I want to do is stare right back at you, to tell you everything. You’re the best friend anyone could ever ask for. You’re beautiful, and I could get lost in those eyes for days...I...I just...I think I’m in love with you.” Loki exclaims. You are stiff, and shocked. Nonetheless, you’re a blushing mess. You clear your throat and smile. 

“I...I don’t know what to say, Loki...this is all so sudden....and new, especially from you. I never expected...-” Loki’s smile faltered. You caught this quickly, however and your eyes softened. “I never expected you to feel the same way.” 

Loki locked eyes with you, and you smiled gently. You leaned forward and hugged him, taking Loki by surprise. He hesitantly hugged back. You stayed like this for a while, enjoying each-others embrace, while there was nobody around. Then, you released him, and looked away awkwardly. 

He smiled, taking your hand in his again, and placing a gentle kiss to the top of your hand, whilst looking up into your eyes. 

You were more than flustered, and you just started grinning like a maniac.

“I love you, [Y/n].” 

You shifted, resting your head on his shoulder. “I love you too, Loki.”

I’m a sucker for you

AHHHH THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE!!! PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! SHOULD I DO MORE SONG-SHOTS? Sorry i’ll stop now