#my General hcs for troll heights is like.

[stxrr-strxckk]

Shakedown, 1979 1997!

(General South Park Headcannons)

A/N: Just some silly little headcannons of our favorite main 3 boys! These are non romantic but I can make romantic ones too if y'all want! Cartman isn't included in this except for little cameos he makes in the other hcs.

Any warnings?: Cartman being Cartman, a lot of swearing (obviously), Cartman is just really antisemitic.

What's on the record player?: 1979; The Smashing Pumpkins

Stan Marsh...

✭Stan and Kyle are super close in height. Like, down to the millimeter. You know how some people get measured against wood beams and there's little marks for each age? Stan and Kyle have one they share in Stan's house. Blue marks are Stan, Green marks are Kyle. He made Kyle keep his hat on when they measured since his hair gave him extra height.

"See? I'm taller!" Kyle grinned triumphantly.

"No way, dumbass. It's just that stupid fucking hair, right Cartman?" Stan looked over at his friends for approval.

Cartman nodded. "Yeah, it's that jewey ass hair, Kyle. It makes you seem taller and your nose seem smaller." Kenny's muffled snickers could be heard through his jacket.

"That isn't true, fatass!"

"Yeah stop making fun of his big nose Cartman, he can't help the fact he looks like his bitchass mom." Stan laughed, and Kyle shoved him.

"Hey! Not cool dude, that's my mom you're talking about!"

"Okay, okay, just push your hair down so we can prove I'm taller."

"No way man."

✭Once he gets older, Stan grows facial hair crazy fast. He has to shave every 2 days, at least. One time his razor broke and he had to wait until he got paid to get a new one. He grew the ugliest mustache known to man and Cartman started calling him Chewbacca. His mom said he looked just like a younger version of his father, and that's when he knew he had to get rid of it soon as possible. He wound up finding a waxing kit and tried to get rid of it that way. Long story short, he wound up with half a mustache and burns all over his upper lip. His mom had to let him use her razor to get rid of the rest of the hair. He refuses to touch any kind of wax now.

✭Listens to bands like Weezer and Blink 182, convinced their songs are made for him. "It's just like my life-" no it isn't. You're just a loser.

✭Not a very athletic guy. He's tried every sport under the sun(his parents made him), they're just not for him. He tried drama club too; hated the acting but liked the tech aspect. He ran spotlight for a few productions but ended up quitting because of how much the other guys made fun of him.

✭He had to play cello when he was younger, and quit the moment he started high school. He still knows a few songs and was pretty good.

✭He's insecure about his thick eyebrows and nose. He has a greek nose and thinks it's a lot larger than it is. Kyle judges him every time he starts talking about it.

"No, it sticks out so much! See?"

"You're joking, right?"

"No, it's so noticeable!"

"Dude. At least yours is straight. Mine is hooked. Hooked. You think I like this fuckin' thing in the middle of my face? Hell no!"

✭Whenever he's pissed at Kyle he ends up complaining to Kenny since he can keep secrets better than Cartman (and because people can never tell what Kenny's saying)

"And then he said 'grow up Stan, it's not too big a deal!' Like he wasn't just hung up about some girl rejecting him- At least me and Wendy actually dated! You know who wants to date him? No one! He's never even had a girlfriend. Yeah, you know that girl from Canada who he talked to online for a whole year before she ghosted him? That was a fake account me and the guys made to troll him. He never realized. And what's funnier is that-"

"Dude, you've been talking for like, ten hours. I need to get to sleep, it's a school night.

"Right. Sorry. But can I just say-"

"Out."

"Alright, I'm leaving. But Kyle's such a dick, he won't even stand up to his mom for me-."

Kenny has to push him out the door and lock it so he can't get back in. Then Stan and Kyle make up a week later and everything goes back to normal.

✭Was actually convinced he had superpowers when he was younger, around 5 or 6. He predicted it would rain once and all of a sudden he thinks he controls the weather. He told the guys and when they called his bluff he got super pissed and made everyone on the playground watch as he used his weather powers to try and make lightning strike. He ended up falling off the monkey bars and he now refuses to go anywhere near them.

Kyle Broflovski...

✭Puberty hit him like a truck. And not in a good way. All of a sudden he's 8 inches taller, growing a ratty mustache, with some of the worst acne and and a voice that cracks like no other. (Cartman makes fun of his voice until his starts cracking too. The hypocrisy is wild.) He was also the first in the group to start puberty. He thought he'd feel so mature and cool but ended up hating it.

✭Thankfully, now that he's taller he can actually play basketball without getting blocked by everyone. He's the tallest in the group, around 6'2 or so.

✭He has prescription glasses but never wears them because he thinks they make him look dorky. They do, but that's only because his mom picked out the thickest frames so they wouldn't break easily. When he's wearing glasses, he looks like Bart Simpson in the episode The Last Temptation of Homer, when he gets all nerdy and shit. Kyle even has the orthopedic shoes to boot.

✭He runs a dnd campaign for him, Stan, Kenny, Tweek, Craig, and Token. He used to invite Cartman but after his millionth tantrum they decided it was better without him. Kyle usually dms and sometimes writes a few of his own oneshots for the gang to do.

"Okay, as you trudge through the jungles of Chult, an animalistic cry pierces the air. Everyone roll an intelligence check!"

"This better not be another one of those dinosaurs," Stan groaned. "I just got mauled by one back there."

"Roll perception and you'll find out!" Kyle replied with a grin. "The tomb isn't far, guys. This should be one of your last encounters."

"Wait, we're not even at the tomb yet?!" Tweek's eyes widened. "We've been in this jungle for days!"

"I told you guys Tomb of Annihilation wasn't going to be an easy adventure." Kyle shrugged, before going back to business. "Okay; Craig and Token: while the rest of your party shrugs it off as just another monster you'd rather not deal with right now, you two recognize the call as a Hydra's- and it sounds hungry."

"A hydra? Dude, we are so fucked!" Stan yelled.

"Those things have like, 20 heads! Oh fuck!" Tweek added. A residual groan was heard around the table as the boys realized the danger they were in.

"This sucks ass, Kyle. How'd you talk us into this adventure? We shoulda done Curse of Strahd..." Token complained.

"Mm hmm!" Kenny agreed, crossing his arms.

"Come on guys, I believe in you! It doesn't even have that many hit points!"

"I hate to admit it, but we could really use Cartman's fireball right now." Craig sighed.

"Hey, we all agreed. He's never invited back. Not after the massacre..." Kyle shuddered.

"You're right. We'll just have to hope Princess Kenny can charm this thing." Stan nodded.

(Little bonus: Stan is a fighter, Token is a warlock, Craig is a ranger, Tweek is a paladin, Kenny doesn't have a main class he likes but mostly plays rogues or bards. Kyle usually plays as a sorcerer when he's not dming and when he's invited Cartman plays a wizard.)

✭Kyle doesn't seem like it but he actually is kind of strong. Yeah he's lanky and uncoordinated, but he can throw a pretty good right hook. He's done boxing for years. Started because he wanted to get Cartman to quit making fun of him. He's pretty fast too- he tried track out in middle and high school. He's good at jumping hurdles because of his long legs.

✭He has braces and the amount of food that gets stuck in them is criminal. He starts carrying around a little compact (the ones with two mirrors) just to make sure his teeth are clean after lunch and Cartman calls him gay for it.

"Wow Kyle, I didn't think you could get any gayer but here we are." Cartman said at lunch as Kyle whipped out a little compact.

"Shut up fatass, I'm just making sure I don't have food in my teeth like you always do."

"Ey! I do NOT have food in my teeth, thankyouverymuch." Cartman crossed his arms in a huff.

"Yeah, cus you're too busy eating everything that gets stuck in your mouth, fatboy." Stan said, Kenny laughing in agreement.

"I already told you, I'm just big boned! You're just jealous that my mom cooks me good food, not that jewey stuff Kyle always has."

"Fuck off Cartman, you'd probably eat that too."

"Yeah, no way dude. I like my food American, thank you very much."

"Dude. That's so racist."

"Oh, I'm sorry, is it racist to want to eat normal, all-American food?

✭Hear me out on this one: He's fluent in brainrot. Says skibidi on the regular, refers to himself as a sigma rizzler, all that shit. Since he has to babysit Ike all the time he's pretty caught up on gen alpha slang (Ike watches skibidi toilet unironically. He makes Kyle watch it with him). He started using it around Cartman who was convinced he made it all up. Him, Stan, and Kenny had a field day with it.

"Dude, that's so skibidi!"

"Kyle. What the fuck are you saying."

"You know, skibdi. Like, the thing on tiktok?"

"Don't tell me you don't speak brainrot, Cartman."

"I- I do too! I just... Didn't understand Kyle with his gay ass voice.

"My voice isn't gay, you gooner!"

"Hey! I'm not the gooner, you are, you... gooner!"

✭He barely ever gets haircuts. When he does, his mom just puts a bowl on his head and cuts it herself. It's part of the reason he started constantly wearing his hat. If you've seen that scene from pen15 where Maya gets her hair cut, it's just like that.

"Mom, you promise you won't go too short this time?"

"Of course bubby! It'll look the same as always, I promise."

"Mom- the clippers-"

"Shh, I know Kyle, just trust mommy."

"But the guard-"

"Trust mommy, Kyle."

"It's not the right one- it's too short-"

"No, it's okay! Trust me, I've done this more times than I can- oh."

"What? Is it bad?"

"Uh- bubby, just remember, you have a very handsome face, and if any of the boys say anything about your hair-"

"Oh, no. It's bad."

"No! No, it's just- it'll take some getting used to."

"Let me see. Where's the mirror?"

"Uh- maybe it's best if you just... Put your hat back on..."

✭He can't talk to girls for shit. Resorts to online chatrooms to try and flirt. Has gotten catfished 13 times. At least 3 of them were Cartman.

"No, Stan, I swear! She's real! Her name's Daisy, and she lives in Florida. She says she really wants to meet me, too! So I saved up for months and sent her 1500 for a first class plane ticket here. Check it out, she's pretty cute, right?"

"...Dude. That's Taylor Swift."

"Again?!"

Kenny McCormick...

✭He's a biter. And I don't even mean in a "ooh so freaky and kinky" way, I mean in a "he once bit Cartman so hard he peed his pants and refused to be within 5 feet of Kenny for a week."

✭When he gets older he ends up growing his hair out into a kind of mullet-wolf cut thing, he looks like Kurt Cobain.

✭He's actually pretty smart. He just doesn't think school is that important for him and doesn't wanna try too hard and get unwanted attention for being smart. Purposely gets Bs and Cs so his friends won't beg him for answers.

✭starts giving himself piercings once he's older. He's too poor to get them from a professional so he just uses old needles and snow to numb the pain. They almost always get infected.

✭Draws penises on his friends homework so they get in trouble when they turn it in.

"Yeah, and then she was all like- Dude!"

"What?"

"Again? Mr. Garrison is gonna collect this any second! You really had to draw a dick on it?"

"Heh, you gotta admit stan, it's pretty funny."

"Shut up fatboy, he drew it on your paper too."

"Wha- hey!"

✭He's a scrappy fighter. If a kid tries to fight him, he's biting, scratching, hair pulling, everything. 9 times out of 10 he wins and the other kid winds up absolutely wrecked. Once head-butted someone so hard he knocked out the kid's teeth. Now nobody fucks with him.

✭He was the only member of Moop who actually stuck with making music after the whole strike. He's the most musically inclined of the main 4. Wrote a few of his own songs but most of the lyrics were about loving boobs and pussy so record companies didn't end up signing him.

✭We all know he plays drums, but he also started learning electric guitar when he started his solo career. Can't sing for shit though (unless it's opera), so he tries using autotune. It just makes him sound worse.

✭He's the only member of the main 4 who's nice to Butters. Not just because he feels guilty he's a loser, but because he actually enjoys hanging out with him and how genuinely nice Butters is. The two are actually pretty good friends, Butters gets his mom to pack him extra food he gives to Kenny so he and Karen don't end up going hungry.

✭Was 100% the kid who taught everyone what sex was. Also brought his dad's nudie mags to school and showed all the guys.

"Gross, dude! What is that?"

"I dunno, I found it in my dad's room. All the girls inside are showing their boobs! Check it out!"

"Eww, why are they so pointy?"

"Because, Kyle, girls boobs start out pointy and then, once they turn 30, they get all saggy, like your mom's."

"Gross, dude! Don't talk about my mom's boobs."

"Yeah, don't talk about Kyle's mom's saggy boobs Cartman."

"Stan!"

"What? I'm defending you!"

"Hey guys, you wanna know how babies are made?"

✭As he gets older he starts to see through all of Eric's bullshit like the other guys, but still supports his ideas more than Stan and Kyle. He doesn't wanna just abandon him.

✭Amazing with kids. Shockingly so. He basically raises Karen on his own, so he knows how how to deal with kids better than the other guys. He tried to start a babysitting business after he realized how much money he could make, but if fell apart after Cartman joined and started to get the kids he babysitted involved in a ponzi scheme.

"Cartman, you did WHAT?"

"Nothing! I just had an idea..."

"Oh god, we're screwed."

"Cartman, WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"I just thought, if people invested in our business we could get them to keep hiring us, and we can get them to invest by making them give us money in exchange for more money back, and instead of actually giving them our money, we'd just give them other people's money who also invested, and then we'd have infinite money!"

"Cartman you dumbass! You ruined my business! We're bankrupt now!"

"Ohhh, I'm sorry Kenny! I just wanted to get us infinite money! But I guess if you don't need my genius ideas, I'll just start my own babysitting business and steal all your clients. Is that what you want?"

"If it means you'll leave us the fuck alone, then yeah."

A/N: Hope y'all like these hcs! I'll probably make romantic ones soon. I'm already working on some more South Park stuff, I got a few requests I'm really excited to write! Please like, follow, and repost! XX, Starr!

Wordcount:2747

[makima4ever]

König & Ghost HCs :3

OK I KNOW THE PICTURE IS KINDA SHIT WUALITY AND IM SORRY MY PHONE ISNT HAVING IT RN

fem aligned can interact js don’t be a bridge troll oktyLOVEU

König & Ghost x Cat-like M!reader HC!!

this is entirely separate from any current stories and might become a multiple post thing :3

KÖNIG!!!

~ When König first meets you, it’d be probably be on accident as you bump into the tall man! who disturbs thy?!???? You then see this hulk and MOUNTAIN of a man as your little brain reminds you of how SHORT you are!!!! your instincts are telling you to climb….. ((NO HATE I LOVE OUR SHORT KINGS AND QUEENS FOR I AM 5’2))

König clearly sees how small you really are in comparison to himself, making him ALSO SELF CONSCIOUS… LIKE HE CAN SEE THE DIFFERENCE CLEAR AS DAY AND IT MAKES HIM AMUSED BUT ALSO REALLY AWARE….

~ You, on the other hand… are also actually kinda INTRIGUED!! very tall man who’s tall as the highest fucking mountain… maybe you should climb?? :3 You attempt to climb up the very tall man using his gear and clothing as footing to climb up his body!!!!

König just sees you strolling up to him, as he wasn’t entirely nervous but he was kinda curious and feeling a little confident with a small smirk behind his mask- UNTIL YOU STARTED TO GRAB HIS VEST AND CLIMB UP HIS TORSO…

~ meanwhile König is shocked and slightly panicked as you climb up his tall beanstalk body, throwing him disarray as you scrambled to get to the top!!! He’s not gonna throw you off but he is definitely moving a bit as you climb to the top!!! :3

This was entirely fun until you hit your head against the ceiling… okay, maybe climbing a 6’10 man who’s height REACHES THE ROOF ISNT A GOOD IDEA…. you recoil and start falling!! You do land on your feet as you recoil in pain from hitting your head against the lovely ceiling lights :3 ((CURSE THE LIGHTS..))

~ König is currently making sure you don’t fall off, until you do!! Then he’s panicking until he turns around so fast he could’ve cracked his neck… then he sees you gracefully land on the ground after falling!!! He’s surprised at how well you moved this maybe does not have anything remotely… and this surely didn’t invoke anything:3

König is stunned for a moment until you make a sound akin to a.. meow? We’re not even sure what sound you made really… that noise creates a feeling that is insatiable…. HE REALLY WANTS TO PET YOU!! :3

- you are currently.. having a weird moment as you are making these weird cat.. noises? not really sure what to call them really, NOBODY DOES

😭😭🥺

then, König slowly lifts a hand to your head as he pays it and scratches it with his hand (THIS IS KINDA CUTE??), just scratching your head and behind the ears as if he were petting an actual cat…

you let out a purr(?) noise, again we can’t tell what noise you’re making but it’s somewhat like a purr… maybe??? KÖNIG IS JS SHOCKED… CAT?!?!?

GHOST!!!!

~ honestly, he had already known your reputation since it was slightly infamous but he generally wasn’t even sure of you in terms of like vibe…

when he does finally meet you in the flesh?? You didn’t even seem off or any different from any soldier in terms of general looks but he did notice your slimmer figure

~ Ghost then has this internal monologue of why the FOOK he notices your body first then he sees you walking on over to him as Ghost continues to idle, chest slightly puffed as he sizes you up although not really… you then lift your head to look up at him as he can see your face

🥺🥺

he’s stunned, like outright stunned as he takes a moment to process this as you poke at his body, like a cat pawing at an arm or kneading someone’s back :3

from that moment on he now fully believes your c/s, but he doesn’t warm up to you immediately but he does find your cat personality amusing a lot :3

[autisticaradiamegido]

hmmm have you ever considered. arafef?

day 339

in fact i have and i think. what if highbloods tall??

[eurydicees]

hi hi! joining in the birthday asks with 1 for kuroo please! 🫶

hi hi hi !! come get a present for my bday !!

1. have a favorite character? here, have 5 of my top headcanons for them

kuroo my dearly beloved!!!! thank you for asking, i want to talk abt him all of the damn time. under the cut because. yeah. i'm just like this. (very minor kuroken notes included, lmk if you want hcs w/o any of that)

i think that there was a time when he dreamed of becoming a professional volleyball player. in the extended haikyuu canonverse that lives in my head, he couldn’t make it onto a professional team after graduating high school, so he decided to go to university and play there instead of going pro. once he was in uni, he got an internship with the JVA and kind of just fell in love with the job. he decided he was better off not as a player but working behind the scenes. it’s not really something that he’s insecure about or regretful of, but it is very much a “what if” that he thinks about sometimes. (ok fine yes i wrote a fic about this and never published it and that’s why i’m thinking abt this, hush) 

he is terrible at social media. like, not only for jva promotional posts (which is canon) but for his own social media as well. his instagram is blurry photos of the sunset with cheesy captions and twenty five hashtags. he doesn’t know how to block people on twitter, which is a problem as he tends to get into passive aggressive arguments with trolls (kenma eventually shows him how, exasperated at kuroo’s complaining abt the people dming him). this being said, he has a tik tok dedicated to making bad fan edits of his friends on professional volleyball teams. this has done more promotional work for the v.league than anything he has ever seriously posted on twitter. 

actually he’s just terrible with technology in general. he doesn’t get how it works, and he’s the kind of person who likes knowing things. the fact that he doesn’t just get how internet and tech overall work drives him insane. he’ll try and take things apart to see how they tick (literally) but he doesn’t know how to put them back together. he claims his computer hates him personally, but in reality, he just spilled orange juice on the keyboard once and now the n key sticks. he doesn’t know what a dark mode is and at this point he’s too afraid to ask. his phone password is 1234. he doesn’t know where the wifi router in his house is because kenma set it up for him and, if pressed, he would not be able to tell you what the said wifi router does in the first place. (kenma knows enough about tech for the both of them, he says. kenma replies, you have ten viruses on your laptop and still haven’t set up face id on your phone. kuroo tells him to shut up.) 

that all being said, his spotify account is insanely organized and personalized exactly how he wants it. he has music OPINIONS and he is not afraid to share them. he’s always ready with a song rec for any genre, but he is also ready to tear apart a person’s music taste if he thinks they like something compositionally bad. he absolutely has a superiority complex based on his music taste but refuses to admit it. he has playlists for every mood and situation, all sorted into folders and listed alphabetically. for people’s birthdays, he likes to give them carefully curated playlists based on their taste and things he thinks they would like. (he makes kenma a mixtape on a cassette tape for their first anniversary and kenma is very very grateful but also “kuro literally how am i going to listen to this. what were you thinking.” “it’s romantic!” “i mean sure but that doesn’t change the fact that i still can’t listen to it.” “....fine, i’ll send you the spotify link.”) 

he loooooovesssssss bad b rated horror movies. he thinks they’re hilarious and the height of entertainment. at a team sleepover, he convinces the team to watch one with him, and he provides running commentary throughout the entire thing. just in general, he tends to talk a lot during movies and tv shows, whether or not they’re good. the more he talks during it, the more he’s enjoying the movie/show. his commentary is usually pretty good/funny/entertaining, but there are times when it just gets obnoxious. kai is a patient man but he will deck kuroo if he laughs at a dramatic death scene one more time. 

[wxldchxld]

Ok my own anger at myself has gotten my ass out of bed even if it upsets my stomach.

I’ve had about 4 or 5 rewrites of Beck’s tattoos, and here I am doing it again because I feel like I was off my rocker rereading the last time I did it. So, after this post I’m going through all my hcs and straight up deleting all the old shit.

Beck’s tattoos currently in all verses are: 

A rearing horse on her left leg with a shattered chain breaking off its neck. 

A tattoo of a jumping fox between her shoulder blades with a cougar beneath it so that the two silhouettes form a loose circular pattern. Similar to this.

A wolf on her right hand with a scattered leaf/ pedal pattern climbing up her arm to her shoulder.

A tattoo of a hawk in front of a sun on the back of her neck right at the base of her hairline. Both a symbol of the form she can take and of the sky/sun.

A vegvisir on her chevage area that she got very young, as an adult she had the outer edges expanded to look like a sunflower.

Below that, between her breasts and slightly beneath them as well, is a tattoo of the Web of Wyrd / Skuld’s Net and there is a small raven on either side  at the bottom that represent Odin’s ravens. This tattoo is the only tattoo Beck has that will always mean the same thing in every verse. It symbolizes that she was born into the priesthood at the height of the winter solstice. People born on this day/night enter and order of the Priesthood that is connected with story-telling and songs. They are responsible for retaining the memories of the past through these tales and their music, and reminding people of the old ways. The Web symbolizes past, present, and future, which the priests/priestesses are meant to bridge together. And the ravens symbolize wisdom and memory. All members of this order of the priesthood have this tattoo and it is always in the same place.

On her left upper arm she has a tattoo the forest spirit Otso: a Bear with a forest growing out of its back. Above him are little snowflakes that travel up to her shoulder, and below are a cascade of small falling leaves that go down to her wrist.

On top of her left wrist is a small, simple whale, and on the bottom, over her veins, is a troll cross.

The reasons Beck gets tattoos can vary from verse to verse, but the general meaning behind them is usually the same. Generally they represent aspects of nature or her role in society.

The tattoos are all relatively simple in design, and they’re all in black.

She does hide these tattoos in most verses where she’s actively on the run. If we’re in a verse where, for some reason, Beck isn’t living in hiding or running from Fen or Elea, she has her tattoos on display and is very proud of them.

While all of her tattoos were physically applied, they are all magical. Among witches that do tattoos it is just good practice to put simple enchantments on them so that they don’t become misshapen over the years or fade away.

[kayforpay]

my hcs for the beta troll girls are like, 

aradia is average height and build, maybe a little thicker around the hips

nepeta is tall as fuck and buff, with a general ruler body shape

terezi is like 5′2 and looks like tinkerbell

kanaya is also tall as fuck but also slim as fuck and just generally waiflike

vriska is 5′6 and has bigger biceps than everyone EXCEPT feferi

feferi is shorter than nepeta and kanaya, but still tall, and buff as hell