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ptergwen · 4 years

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love is more than a word

w/c: a very ouch 3.6k

warnings: so so so much angst and an unhealthy (ish) relationship

summary: after nearly four years together, peter has stopped trying

a/n: listen y’all i don’t know what came over me when i made this but i think it’s the saddest thing i’ve ever written? uh try to enjoy tho

you never thought this would happen, but you’re getting tired of peter. it isn’t your fault. that cliche it’s not you, it’s me line doesn’t apply here.

at first, you actually did find yourself believing the it’s me part. you’d came to the conclusion that you expect too much from peter. he goes to class, he works, patrols, sometimes parties, takes you out when he can. he’s got a lot going on for a full time college student, which is a busy life to lead on its own.

it’s why you don’t complain when he wants to spend the night in and order a pizza instead of cooking together like you’ve been wanting to try. it’s why every time your friends ask you two to hang, you have to reluctantly explain that peter is passed out at eight o’clock on a saturday.

there’s a lazy “wanna make out?” some nights, if peter isn’t yawning when he steps through the front door. even that has lost its enjoyment. kissing peter doesn’t give you the rush it used to, the taste of his strawberry chapstick not flooding your senses and intoxicating you. it’s become predictable. comfortable. boring.

peter is boring.

you’ve slipped into unspoken routine. say your hello’s, work on separate assignments in different rooms. peter eventually yells something like “babe, you hungry yet?” across the apartment, his passive way of asking you to make dinner. you usually order takeout because why make an effort if he doesn’t?

you might watch one of the ten movies peter has liked since before the start of your relationship. he’ll usually fall asleep during it. no surprise there. his overpacked schedule exhausts him, which you’ve talked to him about spreading himself too thin. peter is too nice and can’t say no, so this is where it leaves him.

the main reason you’ve stayed with him is that he can’t take care of himself. he’s clueless about paying the bills, sorting his laundry, simply remembering to drink water. peter wouldn’t be able to go a week without you. he even says it himself.

“crap, i totally forgot about these,” when you picked up his special ordered textbooks from your school library. “can food go in the garbage disposal?” a rare time you didn’t wash the dishes. “thank you, y/n/n. you’re literally a lifesaver,” whenever you do a task for him that someone in their 20s shouldn’t need assistance with.

you didn’t used to mind much. he watches over the city every night. you felt you should return the favor. spider-man could use some help, too. after the almost four years you’ve been together, peter has become completely dependent on you. it only got worse when you moved in together your junior year. you’re concerned how he’ll manage later in his adult life.

you’d think he’d be a little more passionate about your relationship considering how much he needs you. you know peter still loves you, of course he does. that’s not what the problem is. he’s become content with the mutual feeling, so he doesn’t try anymore. he expects the spark to keep itself lit.

no more random joke of the day texts that he used to send you. he stopped surprising you with your coffee order in the morning, the one that he memorized the first time you two went to a starbucks. what you initially found most endearing about peter was that he remembered every little thing you told him.

he put whatever energy he had into showing you that he listened. he’d do it all with rosy cheeks and that toothy smile of his. it seems now like he’s under the impression that being in a long term relationship means none of that matters anymore. there’s no need to impress you, keep you guessing, make you feel special.

tonight is your breaking point. as you go over all of this in your head while peter lays peacefully next to you, you can’t take it. you’ve been making so many excuses for him. you lie to yourself. you’re desperate to believe this is okay and normal and you can work this out, and you can love whatever version of him this is.

but, you can’t. you can’t do it. you need to tell him now because if you sleep on this, you’ll end up feeling bad and be stuck under these suffocating blankets forever.

“peter?” you whisper his name, your back turned to him in bed. you haven’t cuddled each other to sleep in a while. his arms don’t make you feel held now, they make you feel trapped. you’ve been forcing yourself to ignore his look of hurt when you reject his open embrace.

“peter?” you speak louder after a moment of silence, except for his occasional snores. a loud one escapes him before they stop altogether. his eyes stay shut as he mumbles out a, “uh... huh?” your heart is thudding through your entire body. you take a breath in from your nose. “i wanna break up.”

the breath you let out next is one of relief, those three words that have been scratching your throat for months finally out. peter slowly turns his head over his shoulder. he blinks rapidly at your motionless figure. you’re still not facing him.

“what?” is all he says. his voice is surprisingly steady, the confession not yet registering with his sleepy mind. his eyes are burning into you. “i wanna break up,” you repeat and squish your face further into your pillow. peter suddenly sits up, flicking on the lamp on his side. he tries to sling an arm around you. you move further away until you’re at the edge of the bed.

“i’m serious, peter. everything we had, it’s gone.” your words cut through him harder than literal knives he’s been stabbed with. “i- i don’t understand. where is this coming from?�� he rakes a hand through his mess of curls. you turn onto your back, looking up at peter. his eyes are fixed on your lower half.

he’ll most definitely cry if he meets your eyes. he really doesn’t want to cry, not ever again when you won’t be here to make him feel better.

“it’s been coming,” you almost scoff at him as you prop yourself up against your pillows. peter’s teeth tug at his lower lip. “all we do is this.” you gesture to your bed, slapping your hand down at your side. “i get tired,” he speaks quietly, refusing to look at you. “i know you do, peter. i know, but you’d be a lot happier if you ever listened to me.”

your statement comes off as condescending to him. he works up the courage to look you in the face. “are you kidding? all you do is boss me around, and i take it. i’ve never once complained.” anger is coursing through his veins and voice. at the situation, that he’s about to lose the one stable part of his life. you’re getting pissed, too.

“that’s because you can’t do anything yourself!” you throw the blankets off you and swing your legs over the bed in one motion. peter hops out of bed entirely. “my whole life, i’ve been on my own half the time,” he spits as he comes over to stand in front of you. “sorry for taking you up on your offers to help.”

your peter would never spew that shit out. he wouldn’t guilt you for something he’s in the wrong about. this peter takes you for granted. he has no clue how fucked he’d be without you.

the first time you spoke to peter was on your way to history 227. you’d recognized him from your class, much more interested in the pretty boy taking notes with his tongue stuck out than whatever war your professor would lecture about.

he was carrying some books, a pencil case that didn’t fully zip, and a five subject notebook. you watched him do his balancing act through the halls until his legs started to wobble. a knowing smile on your face, you tapped his shoulder. it was a gentle one so you didn’t scare him and make all his things fall over.

“can i carry something for you?” you laughed out and pushed one of your backpack straps up on your shoulder. peter only stared at you, his doe eyes prompting you to reach for his pencil case. “uh, no, it’s fine. i got it. see?” he proved that to you by hiking everything up in his arms. he gave you a smile of his own.

“are you sure? we’re going to the same place,” you’d checked again and pointed at his impressive pile. “i’m not gonna steal your sharpies.” “really, i’m fine,” peter insisted with a heart clenching chuckle. “you can have one, if you want,” he offered and attempted to unzip his case, one handed. you put your hand over his to stop him.

“wait until we get to class,” you let go of him, leaving the tips of peter’s ears a shade of pink you’d later fall in love with. “i’ll sit with you.”

peter was once determined to do things on his own, to be self-sufficient. it used to be something he was proud of. now, he’s completely incapable of holding his independence.

“we’re done, peter.” your tone is short, you getting to your feet. “you’d probably forget how to fucking breathe without me, but call it bossing around, i guess,” you laugh bitterly and go over to your drawers. peter’s face falls as he grabs your wrist, stopping you when you pass by him. “where are you going?”

no answer. you pull yourself out of his grasp with your lips pressed into a stern line. peter follows you step by step over to the dresser. “wait, wait. don’t leave, baby. please,” he begs you, getting onto his knees beside you. you’re pulling random clothes out as quick as you can. a science t-shirt peter outgrew is in your hands.

peter used to give you all his old clothes. the signature smell of his cologne lingered no matter how many times you washed them. they kept you calm on nights he was out late patrolling or away on missions. peter would sport a smirk whenever you wore them out in public, pulling you closer to him and complimenting the look.

it started when he was packing for his first mission since you two had begun living together. he’d realized he became too buff to fit in some shirts. remembering how many times you’d giggle at their funny sayings, peter gave them to you. you threw one on and thanked him with a peck on the cheek. it became your tradition.

peter would set off for a new continent, but a piece of him would stay home with you.

the stretched out hoodies and ripped sweatpants just sit in your drawer now. another meaningful thing discontinued. whatever he doesn’t want goes to may for donations now. the memory of what they used to mean to you makes a fit of rage burst through you.

you slam down his ‘find x’ shirt in the space between his knees and yours. you’re on a mission of your own this time. you aren’t going anywhere until you get rid of all the stuff that went from him to you.

“y/n, don’t do this. i- i love you. i love you.” peter chokes out, tears filling his eyes. his vision is clouded while you toss more clothes to your side. “i love you, y/n/n,” he whimpers again, and this time you briskly push the drawer shut. the whole dresser shakes. this is the most emotion either of you have shown in the past few months of your relationship. it’s a little too late.

“love is more than a word, peter. you have to back it up with actions.” you’re doing your best not to cry. the memories of how loved peter made you feel play in your mind. he briefly wipes under his eyes and shakes his head. he’s so oblivious. “i thought i- i did.” “exactly, you did. you gave up at some point.” your voice gets weaker as a tear drips down your chin.

you didn’t plan on breaking down when you imagined this moment. part of you wishes you could give him another chance. most of you knows it wouldn’t do any good for you or peter. you’re not right for each other anymore. he outgrew some sweatshirts, you outgrew him.

that takes you all the way back to it’s not you, it’s me. it’s really both of you.

for the last time, you pull peter in for a hug. the two of you need this. he loops his arms around your back, keeping them loose around you as he tucks his face into the side of your neck. you’re a mix of tears and sharp breaths with your chin on his shoulder. you bring a hand up to the back of his head, grabbing a fistful of curls.

he sobs right into your ear, effectively destroying whatever composure you had left.

even though you’re not in love with peter, you haven’t stopped loving him. somewhere inside of him is the goofy boy who asked you out on a post-it during class. the kindhearted man who gave so much of himself to the world and saved enough for you. the one whose fingertips left goosebumps on your skin with every touch.

seeing him like this, having caused it feels like a dull pain rippling in every part of your body. you’ve been there to soothe him during countless breakdowns over the years. you managed to stay strong for all of them. this is the only exception. he lost people, felt down about life, made mistakes. you were there to pick up each piece and put them back together.

the one mistake peter made that you can’t fix is not loving you right. you became his rock, his anchor whenever he let grief and sadness rule over him. you’d get him back to himself. he could’ve at least bought you flowers once in a while, or done anything that showed his gratitude. every iteration of awful put together isn’t enough to describe how he feels.

“i’m so- i’m so fucking sorry, baby. i don’t deserve you. i never have,” peter murmurs as he cries, wetting your skin that his face is still pressed into. your fingers pull roughly at his hair. hot tears overflow from your own eyes. “i should’ve done more.” his voice cracks on the last word. “that’s all i wanted to hear, pete,” you breathe out and pull away from him.

“does that mean you’ll stay?” he croaks, arms still wound around your body. his eyes are hopeful when they lock with yours. a frown pulls at your lips. “only for tonight. i should... one of us should sleep on the couch.” “oh,” his voice is gravelly, so he clears his throat. “i’ll do it.” you’re not going to fight him on it for once.

peter removes his arms from your waist, you sitting back down on your thighs. you give him a blink and you’ll miss it smile because you can’t keep one for long. it’s to let him know you’re not mad. you were at the start of this conversation, then he took accountability. you also came to terms with the fact that the downfall of your relationship was a joined effort.

there are more factors than peter not giving you what he should have. time, different goals, new outlooks on life. you can’t hate only him because a whole bunch of things lead to this.

instead of a smile, since he physically can’t put one on his splotchy face, peter brushes the pad of his thumb over the corner of your lips. he gets up to leave the room, but you stop him with a “wait!” he freezes in front of you. you get out a hoodie from his pile of old clothes and stand up. “it’s cold.” you put it in his hands, earning a grin that he didn’t think was possible.

“thanks, y/n,” peter sighs and holds the hoodie against his chest. “goodnight. um,” this is the part where he’d usually say i love you. “sleep well, okay?” the replacement stings for both of you. you’ll have to learn to fall asleep without hearing that phrase first. as much as you didn’t feel it anymore, you’d become used to it. “you too, peter. night,” you say softly.

you head back to your bed while peter walks out the door. he glances at you once, and you’re already settling under the covers. he shuts the door behind him before finding his way to the couch.

your bed has always seemed too small. it’s gigantic without peter. you aren’t sure how you feel about that yet.

peter lays across the couch, the hood that doesn’t quite fit him pulled over his head. he’s only wearing it because you gave it to him. you doing that not even five minutes ago was how you backed up your love with actions. it’s so easy. silent tears spill from his eyes at the realization.

he wishes on every star that he could’ve figured out he wasn’t doing enough sooner. you’d be together right now, had he just caught on. there was a time he prided himself on knowing you fully and completely. how to turn you into the shy one with certain combinations of words, what your schedule was each week so he could plan his free time around it.

your relationship became something he thought would last unconditionally. if only he was able pinpoint the exact moment he went wrong.

you’re right in the other room. he can go in there and bawl, plead for you to take him back. how could he do that and claim to love you, though? you’ve made it clear you‘re over him.

the best way for peter to show you he loves you is by letting you live your life, without him in it.

you don’t see peter again for weeks. he moved back in with may, and you got to keep the apartment. you were the one who took all the care of it, anyway.

your semester ended at the perfect time because peter isn’t in any of your new classes. the city is too big to bump into each other. you’re free from the hold he had on you, which would’ve been four years long since yesterday. you’ve been good at picking up his broken pieces for too long, and now it’s time to pick up your own.

for all the hangouts you missed on his behalf, you made up for it. you called mj the day after your breakup and met for lunch. she never explicitly said it, but she took your side. peter had a feeling because when he had the same idea as you, to lean on his friends for support, she never reached out.

betty is indifferent, ned stays cordial with you. his real loyalty is to peter. you can’t blame him.

peter hasn’t been doing well since you broke up. he’s not eating enough, he can’t focus on work of any kind. you were right when you said he would forget how to breathe without you. he often wonders how you’ve been.

he finds out today.

you’re walking around campus, heading in the direction peter just came from. he has a class in the building your last one was. the two of you are on the same sidewalk, opposite sides. he almost doesn’t recognize you.

mj is on one side of you, a guy he’s never seen before with an arm around your shoulders. you’re all laughing about whatever dumb thing your professor said during the lecture. your hair, which is done in a new style, flows behind you in the spring breeze. a smile takes place on your glossy lips. the smile is directed towards that guy. your new boyfriend, peter assumes.

you look amazing, and not only physically. you seem happy with your small group of people. peter hadn’t been able to give you that happiness in years, so it’s nice to see you got it back somehow.

he must have stared too long because you notice him. you fall behind mj and your potential boyfriend, both of them wrapped up in discussing your next project. peter stops walking. you do the same. he’s not sure if he upset you, or what’s going on. his instincts tell him to apologize. his mouth stays closed.

that infectious smile of yours appears once again. you thought about peter yesterday, it being your anniversary and all. you’d only let yourself remember the good things. they outweighed the bad ones when you look back on everything.

“aye, grandma! get over here!” mj calls to you, your boyfriend nudging her side. “take your time, y/n/n. i’m not in a rush to write seven long ass pages.” you laugh to yourself at the two of them. peter fiddles with the zipper on his jacket. it’s from the drawer of things you used to wear. “one sec!” you yell back.

“hey,” you turn to face peter, who’s giving you a tight lipped smile. “how’ve you been?” “i’m okay. just, you know,” he shrugs and clasps his hands behind his back. there’s a short silence before peter says, “you seem good. really good.” he smiles for real this time. “yeah, i am. i hope you are, too,” you tell him and genuinely mean it.

you’d like to catch up soon, but it’s not right yet. you both need more time. “i’ll see you around?” you’re already starting to walk, backwards so you can see peter. “uh, sure. bye,” he gives you a quick wave and continues on his way.

you get back to mj and your boyfriend, his arm returning to your shoulders. they waited for you by the stoplight. “what’d ya get up to over there?” he teases, mj suspiciously watching your face for any tells. you carefully think through your answer with a grin. “love.”

#tom holland #peter parker #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #spiderman #marvel #peter parker angst

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aetheternity · 3 years

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Sight, smell, touch, taste, sound and which one I believe would draw the Aot girls to you. Kinda Modern Au 🤷‍♀️ idk you be the judge.

(Pov: none of you asked for this but I got bored and decided to give it to you anyway.)

Mikasa

~Touch

The first time you touched her it was to pat her shoulder and tell her, "good luck" on a mission and she's been riding that high til the day she finally had you.

She was already so infatuated by you to the point that every bit of your touch became a daily necessity.

Locking you into her tight hugs late at night.

Pulling your lips back into hers whenever you try to escape.

She'll give you tiny kisses spread all over your face as soon as you wake up. And she's a huge fan of eskimo kisses. You might even trigger a little giggle from her when you initiate them.

She wants to rest her head on your chest and fall asleep to your heartbeat.

She's got your fingers perfectly knotted with hers in every situation.

Tangles your legs when the two of you are resting on the couch.

"I have to get up sometime Mikasa." Not today you don't.

Her favorite spot to scratch is your lower back. She softly circles her nails over that bit of skin after hiking your shirt up.

Please let her spend the day with you in her lap it's the perfect amount of intimate for her.

Annie

~Touch/Sound

One day you came to her with concern filling your eyes and hugged her even though you never had before. You simply told her, "I feel like something's wrong but I won't pry. Just know I'll be waiting for you to come back to me." So softly in her ear and despite her push back at first her feelings for you grew stronger everyday.

She grew to adore the smallest things about you.

The sounds of your low morning yawns before you kiss her face.

The warmth of your knee resting between her thighs

Loves when you whine her name. It sends heat flowing through her entire body. "What do you want?" (She'll pretend she hates it tho.)

Whenever you two are alone she has her head firmly placed on your chest, falling asleep to your heartbeat. Just like Mikasa (No you do not have to pee lay back down)

Loves when you card your fingers through her untied hair. (Sometimes you make her hum when you scratch the back of her head just right.)

She's gotta have your hands when you two are cuddling. Holding you like she's scared you're not really there.

Whisper in her ear and she just might shiver for you.

Laugh when she's sarcastic and watch the pretty pink color dust over her cheeks.

Tells you she loves you under her breath and melts when you say it back after kissing her cheek or neck.

Sasha

~(Sweet angel 🥺) Touch/taste

She held your hand like she'd always done with you and asked what you'd want your last meal in the world to be. Fucking around you said, "You." And the girl practically burst into flame. Meanwhile Connie at the opposite end of the table is mocking y'all talking about some, "Get a room already!" And then you did 😏

Oh, you just had some candy? She's biting your lips and sucking on your tongue.

Oh, your shampoo/body wash smells like banana, coconut, strawberries etc? She's got her face in your neck giving you little kisses. (Sometimes she'll give you a little kitten lick but it's fine cause you love it 😃).

She likes mutual feeding (ik that sounds weird idk how else to put it.) Like if you guys are eating popcorn together while watching a movie, she likes when you place the popcorn in her mouth and she does the same for you.

Licks the butter off your fingers when the popcorns gone.

When you stretch your arms next to her and then proceed to wrap them around her neck or waist she's in heaven.

Adores the feeling of your fingers splayed over her stomach right after she finished eating and the way you tease her by stroking her inner thigh.

Randomly jumps in the shower with you so that she can run her hands up and down every inch of your skin.

Sometimes she wakes you with a bunch of forehead kisses.

"Five more minutes please.." You beg

If you wake up before her though she'd love to be wrapped in your arms as she eats breakfast.

Hitch

~Sight (y'all already know my baby's a lil shallow)

It was like a movie scene. She saw you across the room during a small party for the anniversary of the military police first debut and she just had to have you. And bug you.. she stayed by your side as often as possible after that.

She'll laugh so that her compliments on your body sound less genuine but she means it every time.

And when you're not looking she's got her lip between her teeth, eyes working up and down your body.

"I wanna see you in this honestly." She'll say late at night handing you a picture and covering her face as you look at it.

"Reminds me of your pink dress?"

"Yeah! Yes.. that's the point we'll match."

Doesn't matter how long you've been dating. She'll always build a little tension before every kiss by looking directly at your lips then back into your eyes with a little smirk.

Whistles when you wear an outfit she recommended.

She never straight up says it but her favorite part of your body is the part you like the least.

Backwards ass compliments.

"You know orange isn't normally your color but today you made it work." And "You seem really confident despite wearing those pants."

Don't worry it's how she shows affection.

Makes you blush as often as possible because she just can't get enough of how gorgeous you are when you do.

Pieck

~Sight/taste

From the second she saw you she knew she had to get you out of your little bubble. You'd both done the warrior training as kids and you always kept to yourself. She thought a person like you looked like you had a lot of secrets. And she was gonna learn as many as possible. The older you guys got the more attractive you became to each other and you kinda fell back into the nervousness she thought she'd driven out of you. Eventually she got you to accidentally blurt a confession. Next thing you knew her tongue was pulling all conscious thought out of you.

Idk Pieck gives me the vibes that she'd always be looking for a way to stick her tongue down your throat?? (Just me?? Alright..)

She'll twirl you around with a hand around your waist. Unabashedly checking you out.

Loves long sweet kisses while she rests between your legs.

Will never stop smiling at you when you exit the shower in only a towel.

Brushes her lips over your stomach to wake you.

She's so enamored by the twinkle in your eye when you talk with the younger generation of warriors.

Playfully suggests you just walk around the house completely naked so she can really appreciate your body.

Her heart one hundred percent drops when she sees you sad for even a second.

Let her kiss you wherever she wants! It's a lot easier than arguing with her!

And she will try in some weird places. (She gives me body worshipper vibes.)

Yelena

~Sound

She heard about you due to rumors about your incredible fighting style. But what made her seek you out was the knowledge that you were next in line to become a titan shifter. It was hard to tell if her affection was due to interest in you as a person or your incredible fighting style but one day she asked you to live with her in the new world. Of course you said yes.

She loves the sound of you singing. (If you can sing) Sometimes she actively seeks you out and asks for you to sing to her.

Your war cries make her back arch (shh I didn't say that).

The second you guys started dating she developed a sixth sense of some sort where she just shows up if you're crying or if your day has been going terrible.

She just adores the sound of your voice and she can't get enough of it.

I could see her dragging you off some place where the two of you can just talk.

Within less than a week of dating you she's already got ways to get any noise she wants out of you.

Graze their neck with the tip of your nose for giggles and kiss the tips of their ears for I love you's.

That sort of thing.

Whenever you make a noise she hasn't heard before she's dying to force you to make it again.

Idk what it's called but I feel like Yelena has that thing where noises are attributed to colors in her brain. And at some point she explains all the colors she sees whenever you make certain noises.

Hange

~Sight/touch

Moblit had to take a.. short vacation after one of Hange's lab disasters nearly crippled him.. so Erwin had asked you to fill in and you said yes. It was only for a couple weeks and during that time Hange stuck to you like glue. Throwing an arm over your shoulder, stealing little glances and laughing loudly when you'd catch her. It felt like normal Hange stuff. But on the last night before Moblit's return, Hange was weirdly not.. Hange.. being quiet, filling in data and barely making eye contact. You asked if you'd done something wrong but Hange barely said anything back. Before you left she was nose deep in paperwork. You said your goodbyes and you were about to leave when Hange asked if you'd be willing to go on a date. When you looked back she hadn't even looked up but you smiled and nodded with a little yes and the rest was history.

It's a no brainer that you spent all your free time in Hange's lab to be Hange's other support system other than Moblit.

And when Moblit died, Hange's entire support system.

Her touch lingering on your lower back as you lean over to check her notes.

Completely enamored with the glint in your eye whenever the two of you come up with a sort of breakthrough.

Deadass pulls you into her lap at the most random times.

Oh hey the meeting finally finished? Yanks your frame right into her lap and laughs at the eye rolling of fellow colleagues.

Hange will say sorry but that blush on your face was so worth it and she's so glad she did it.

Rubs your back as you sleep on the work piled on your side of the desk.

Probably accidentally wakes you up a couple minutes after you fell asleep though.

Hange once sat you on her lap after a meeting right before Erwin tried to hand her some papers over the table. Without thinking she stood up to grab them and your face slammed into the table while her hips were pressed against your ass. Immediately getting everyone's attention. Safe to say you no longer sit next to Hange at meetings. (I had to add this even though it's a little off topic and random.)

Historia

~Smell (First one here.)

She had to share a room with you until she became queen. And almost every night she'd have some kind of nightmare about Ymir. You didn't mean to make a move but one night she crawled into your bed like she always had and you wrapped your arms around her shivering form like you always did. She had her nose trapped in your nape and you pressed a kiss to her forehead hoping it would stop her harsh breathing. And it did. She froze, the world froze, everything froze. You had leaned back to apologize for overstepping her boundaries and she kissed you back.

She'd gotten so comfortable with your scent that not only did it constantly lull her to sleep but always gave her a sense of security.

You're her security blanket. I don't make the rules.

Speaking of blankets. You gave her yours when she moved into the castle.

Whenever she gets even an hour alone she's trying to get you in the castle so she can sit in your lap and bury her nose in your nape like she always has.

She also steals your shirts and hoodies as often as possible until they smell like her then you have to take them back and cover them with your stink again.

Spending early mornings in the castle after washing your hair and her telling you over and over that she missed your smell.

It's legit like having a long distance relationship while being in the same place.

And she doesn't let you go until the last second before you both have to go back to work.

If you guys have time and you shop together she'll keep the candles that you believed smelled the best in her room.

All in all give Historia your shirts to wear cause she loves them/they look great on her.

Ymir

~Sight/touch

You're probably either super sweet like Krista or really sarcastic like her and that's what draws her to look more in depth into you. When she finally gets a chance to actually look at you fully without the odm gear she finds herself fixated, tracing your figure with her eyes. You guys finally become friends, who mutually enjoy bullying Reiner. But she finds that she hates it. Thinks you're teasing her every time you brush her fingertips without actually holding her dammed hand. One day she just reaches out and grabs you properly and doesn't let go. Yeah, you're dating now.

What can I say except, she likes running a finger over the lines on your palm.

She's always grabbing you out of nowhere but you don't mind. You just let her hold you.

"You look extra beautiful today, bet you'll look even better when I put a ring on your finger."

Puts her hands under your shirt with no fucking shame.

Stares at you and yells at the first person that mocks her. Reiner/Connie

Can and will find a way to smack your ass the second she gets you alone.

Trails little butterfly kisses over your shoulders when you're trying to get dressed in the morning.

Literally everything you do is weirdly skillful to her.

Like you're peeling a potato and she's like, "You're so amazing at that.."

Let her lean on you for absolutely no reason she loves it. 🤷‍♀️

(I realized after writing this that Annie and Armin have the same one even tho I don't ship them at all 😕)

#aot x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x reader #aot imagines #mikasa x reader #annie leonhardt x reader #sasha x reader #hitch x reader #hange x reader #pieck x reader #yelena x reader #historia x reader #ymir x reader #cal writes

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isabellehemlock · 3 years

Note

I wanna play!

🍓

😘😘

I saved yours for last because I knew I was going to get all sappy lol. Thanks for sending me a strawberry 🍓

Let's start with something light and work our way to the core nugget of all the feels 🥲

Maybe it's not so much a compliment per se, but it's downright comical how alike we are here when it comes to our fandom consumption and how we had no idea about so many things like not even two years ago 😅 And we still keep learning new things where we both go, "Wait, what??" And yes, that line is included in the fic lol.

So, since I've been making memes for all these asks, here's our now familiar one that gets dropped a plenty in the server lol

BUT! Probably one of the best joys I have discovered in our friendship is how much we both treasure the journey ~ emotional intelligence, humility in never pretending we know everything, embracing the emotional depths and doing that emotional labor for growth. We know that what worked five years ago, won't today, and what worked today, won't five years from now!

We love to learn and explore and expand and yet, we aren't naive - it is a daily choice to remain kind and so I'm adding a second set of pics that made me think of us:

So when I think of you, I think of safe spaces - literally ready to create them at the drop of a hat for any friend, of someone who understands boundaries are a form of self care, who holds space for me because she knows I will do the same for her. Who is kind, so kind, and for you, I would travel 1,828 miles for 💗

And when I reflect on the joy you brought me on my birthday: a perfect opportunity to expand my own boundary around gifts - by giving me something with love, with no expectation - not only because of who you are, but by how personal you made it! You listened to me ramble on about how much it would mean for an aspec Christian to see that visual representation of an interfaith LGBT+ married couple in media - and you made it happen with the beautiful art you commissioned.

Dammit, now I'm getting teary - but y'all, look:

And once I realized what I was seeing, and that you commissioned this for me, I tried to capture my overflowing joy as I literally babbled in high pitched squeals as I wheezed on about the beauty of it all. You did that for me, because you love me, because you asked me about my why, and you heard me and wanted me to feel seen - so there ya go.

That's who you are to me Tini, someone who sees me, and still loves me the same. And it's so beautifully mutual. You are funny, and safe, and an Aries lol, and kind, and a dear pocket friend. Much love my darling ~ and I hope you have the best week 💕

#signed wife no. 4 #answered ask #🍓

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mcl38 · 6 months

Note

🍓

belovedest vio!!!! not only are u my partner in checo insanity but also genuinely SO smart and insightful i love having conversations w u bc i love hearing what u think abt things. also ur a fantastic writer and perpetually patient exchange organiser:)))

mutuals send me a strawberry emoji sorry im on desktop and i'll give you a compliment

#love u sm!!!!!#ask #ask game #legendofthefireemblem

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spaceandfiction · 3 years

Text

I love this strawberry thing. Mutuals send me a 🍓 and I’ll give you a compliment! It’s the perfect time of year to be kind

#gonna leave this open until at least Jan 2 everybody deserves a nice word this time of year

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strayficks · 4 years

Text

EPHEMERAL 3

1 . 2

smut, fluff, angst.

word count: 11.1k

You yawned as you stretched your arms, easing the tense muscles. The memories came rushing back from last night. Jaehyun’s tight grip on your thighs and butt left soft purple bruises, tender to the touch. The way he pressed your face into his bed made you dizzy.

“Fuck.” You sighed, remembering the panties that you gave him costed a lot. You doubt you have any bravery trying to get it back. You were trying to keep him hooked on you by doing that, a bold move if you will. But damn, you have to get it back no matter what considering the amount of money you spent on it.

To be honest, you don’t know what it is that you want with Jaehyun. You’re not one for relationships, since being in one always left you hurt. You we’re scared of commitment. Scared of uncertainty. You leave before you get left alone, and you hate yourself for it. You flirt for fun, it gives you a surge of excitement. Seeing guys fawn over you makes you feel wanted, and for a while, it was enough for you.

But now, guilt is filling you up to the brim, overflowing. You can’t imagine being hurt like you hurt those guys you toyed with. You want to try to be brave, you do. You thought of giving Jaehyun a shot when your phone lit up with a notification. Text from an unknown number, it must be Jaehyun. Now that you know Jaehyun is friends with Yukhei, you didn’t even think twice that Jaehyun would surely ask him for your number.

UNKNOWN

Hey, it’s Jaehyun. Are you busy right now?

You hestitated on answering, but you quickly tapped on your screen, too quickly.

YOU

Oh jey, I’m not. Whst’s yp?

Jaehyun

Would you like to have lunch with me?

YOU

Sure, i’ll get ready.

Jaehyun

I’ll come pick you up, send me your addy.

You sent him your address and got ready, trying your best to cover the love bites on your neck with foundation. You dressed yourself in a simple shirt and jeans, when you walked over to put on some makeup, a notification startled you. ‘Im here.’ read the text.

“Shit, shit, shit”

You stumbled on your own feet, rushing over to get your sling bag as you completely skipped your makeup. It hasn’t been an hour, and you can already see a sleek black car parked in front of your house.

With rushed steps, you opened the door and greeted him. He was wearing the same thing as you, a simple shirt and jeans. His soft hair tousled by the wind as pink kissed his nose and cheeks. He looked ethereal.

He hugged you gently, in which you were surprised at first, but you hugged him back and he guided you inside his car. He was so gentle with everything. When he scooted over to put on your seatbelt, his scent brought memores of him being close to you and fucking you senseless. Well, you can’t blame yourself. It was the only thing you had done together on the 2 times that you’ve met. He spoke so carefully, trying to not say the wrong thing. As if this is the first time he’s ever spoken to a woman. That is, until he asked,

“Did you cover the hickeys?” He sneaked a glance from the road to your neck.

You instinctively touched the part layered with foundation, “Yes? they were purple you know?”

“Then i did it right.”

You were too distracted seeing his hands on the steering wheel, thick, but gentle fingers turning the steer as your eyes continue to wander downwards to his thighs. You were brought back to reality when Jaehyun cleared his throat, adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he spoke.

“We’re here.”

Before Jaehyun could take your seatbelt off, you beat him to it. Breathe.. You’re having lunch, don’t think about sucking his cock.

Jaehyun silently got out and so did you. The restaurant had a nice atmosphere. With booths and sofas, there were a couple of elders and teenagers there. You walked over to one of the sofas and you both sat opposite of eachother. You brushed your hands to stay warm as Jaehyun watched you with a smile etched on his pretty lips, dimples showing and finding their way to your heart.

You swiped a finger to your nose, nudging your piercing gently. “What?’

“You’re beautiful.”

His gaze pierced into you. A blush creeped onto your cheeks as you tried to be composed. The compliment sounded genuine, heartfelt, ardent. You don’t know if it’s the way he’s looking at you, or the gentle voice he spoke with that made your heart ache. It’s like 4th grade again. You were about to respond, however a waiter came over to the table, asking if you’re ready to order.

"And one strawberry smoothie please." You added.

Jaehyun seemed to have taken a liking to staring at you. Too much was rude, but Jaehyun couldn't get enough. Even when the waiter left after taking your orders, Jaehyun still couldn't believe you were sitting in front of him.

The panties that you gave him sat on his bed at home. He would be lying if he didn't jack off to it last night, but you wouldn't know that. The way you speak hypnotized him, the movement of your lips brought filthy imaginations he couldn't believe he'd be thinking in a restaurant.

Jaehyun had asked for your number to Yukhei.

It took a little convincing and a roll of blunt, but he finally ended up giving it to him. Everytime Jaehyun looked at her, it's like the world is going in slow motion. And he'd hoped it would be only the two of you in this world if it meant you would be staying with him. Your voice lulled him to sleep, your fingers caressing his skin made him shiver. The sunlight bouncing off your skin made you glow, your soft features paired with the glint on your nose ring made Jaehyun want to reach out and kiss you. To kiss those perfect lips of yours. Jaehyun couldn't get enough of you.

"You're so obsessed with me, aren't you?" You teased, the corner of your lips perked up.

Hell yes, that's correct. Jaehyun thought.

He contemplated on answering but he diverted his eyes from her lips and looked at her. Nope, i won't admit it just yet.

"Was that your go-to lunch order?" Jaehyun asked, obviously changing the topic.

You beamed, "Burritos are amazing."

You both talked about the food choice and you agreed that Jaehyun undoubtedly was a picky eater. He completely hated olives, cucumber, and cauliflower. He only liked dark chocolate, and cheese pizza. It was until then you talked about your mutual friends that you cackled on his story,

"He was screaming! i told him that it wasn't true, here, i got it on camera."

He leaned on the table, his phone screen in front of you as the video played. Yukhei was on his underwear, muttering something incoherent as he walked around screaming his lungs out, it was until the end that you heard him scream a one direction song to a toilet.

"Wow," You whistled, "Send that to me."

"Done."

The conversation was pleasant. You realized that Jaehyun wasn't as broody and cold as people say. He was cheerful. Everytime he smiled and showed you those pretty dimple of his, your heart skipped a beat. His voice... god his voice. It was deep, smooth, and soft at the same time. He walked in long strides, graceful and composed. When you both were done, he helped you stack the plates and put the smoothie glass on the side. He offered to take you on a drive around town to catch some wind, but you realized you haven't done anything for an upcoming test you had. He teased you for studying, but you reminded him that you can't just nonchalantly flunk a test, Jaehyun was surprised at your determination. He called you pretty once again when he dropped you off, telling you,

"Text me when you're free, we're going out again."

It was monday, You had been busy studying for a test and had been flipping through the flashcards. Jihyo and Ryujin were mad at you for not telling them the lunch you had with Jaehyun the other day. It was apparently a big deal, Jihyo screamed onto the phone and Ryujin listened with peaked interest as you covered your face from the camera on your phone.

This test is gonna be the end of me, you muttered under your breath.

Another big reason to study, it's 40% of your grade and you couldn't afford to mess up. Collecting every last bit of your will to live, you read through your notes for the 89th time.

ring

You groaned as you looked at your phone, an unknown number was calling. You already saved Jaehyun's number, so it couldn't be him. You picked up, in case it was an emergency.

"Hello?"

"I knew you were a slut, but i didn't think you'd stoop as low as to go out with that cunt Jaehyun."

His voice rang in your ears.

The voice that you loathed so much, the voice that made you cry, the voice laced with pure hate, was talking to you. Hwang Hyunjin was everything you hated.

He was sweet, at first. Then everything went sour. You had found out that he had been cheating on you with 3 different girls, and he had the audacity to say that it was your fault. It was your fault that you weren't interesting enough for him. It was your fault that you were making him tired of you. It was your fault that he cheated.

You were stupid enough to give him another chance. After he came to your house at 3 am, on his knees in front of your front door, he cried on your arms saying everything was his fault, you decided to give it another try. You were dead wrong hoping that he would change, Hwang Hyunjin was a cheater. The second time he cheated, he had been high on drugs. He said that he accidentally fucked another girl because she looked like you.

And as the saying goes; once a cheater, always a cheater.

"Did you forget yourself? You're the lowest of the low. Rot in hell, you piece of shit."

Hyunjin scoffed, "I'm going to make your life hell. Jaehyun won't want you. Listen.. baby.. no one wants a slut. You will never find anyone better than me, remember that."

You quickly hung up, your chest heaving as tears started to brim your eyes. You were angry, hands gripping the bed sheets under you as a hot sensation spreads over your chest. Could screaming into a pillow calm me down? Jihyo and Ryunjin would go after him if they ever catch wind of this. Reaching for your phone again, you pressed the group call button.

The first time that Hwang Hyunjin cheated on you, It was a rainy afternoon and you were just finished with classes. You shook the umbrella on the porch of Hyunjin's house as you stepped on the back of each your shoes to kick them off.

"Babe?" You called out.

He should be home by now, after all you were late to come back home because of the rain.

You headed upstairs when he didn't respond after a few shouts. Walking through the hallway, you heard muffled moans. A mischevious smile appeared on your lips as you silently tip-toe to his room. But then you stopped. It wasn't just his moans.

You barged in the room. There were 2 other girls on top of him. One sitting on top of Hyunjin's face, and one riding him.

"What the fuck."

You were ready to grab the nearest object and cut off his cock when a red head pranced out from the bathroom.

"Oh, Jinnie. You didn't tell me another one is joining."

That made him stop thrusting up, seemingly noticing all the girls stopping their movements as well. His head whips to you as you stand rigid on the doorway. He hurriedly pushed the two girls on top of him and frantically walked over to you.

"Stop, don't come fucking near me."

"Babe, i-"

"You're what? a cheater? no shit," You sharpened your gaze to everyone in the room, fuming. "We're over, Hyunjin."

And the second time, you were back together with him. Truth be told, you absolutely had no idea why he’d asked and begged you to come back to him, when he ended up fucking another girl on his bed when you came home to fill his fridge with groceries.

Nothing can justify cheating. No matter how many times he called you, no matter how many times he knocked at your door, the excuses never stopped.

Hyunjin was the guy that took your virginity on the back of his jeep. He was rough, and it was painful. You stuck with him because he made you feel enough, he made you feel wanted. But that changed. He found other girls to occupy himself with. Forgetting the fact that you were always there, waiting for him with the dinner that was getting colder as the clock ticked and he left you questioning the reasons why he did what he did.

Part of you knew that it wasn’t going to get better. You knew that he’d very much prefer to be in a crowd he doesn’t know than to be in a room with you. But why? why did he cheat? why did he break your heart into a million pieces, glued it back together, only to end up breaking it again? He changed you. In a way that you didn’t like.

You became someone you didn’t know. You were scared of being vulnerable because of him, you hated that. The feeling that seeped into your pores every time you broke down your facade. This show that you’re performing. Only to make yourself feel strong. But it’s tiring now. Every second you coated yourself in a different image made you feel sick. But you knew that that uncertainty will welcome you once you remove the made up stuff you made yourself go through. A constant inner conflict.

When you ended things once and for all, he grew more obsessed. He messed with your relationships, he made rumors about you. He did everything he could to make your life hell. You just wanted him out of your life, why was that so hard?

"Permission to kill."

"Shut up, you can't even kill a bug, let alone a coward."

You were huddled up on Ryujin's bed, sandwiched between Jihyo and Ryujin as your ability to breathe decreased by the minute.

When you called, Ryujin told you to go to her house. Something told you to give the studying a rest, and rest you did. When you got there, Jihyo dragged you to Ryujin's room where all the venting and rants happened.

They started lecturing you about how you shouldn't stray away at a party. Jihyo and Ryujin were worried sick when you didn't respond to any of their calls and texts. They had been talking to Yukhei, a tall, goofy guy when you were too preoccupied trying to get Jaehyun out of the party to fuck your brains out. You knew Yukhei from a friend you had in class, Yuta.

You liked Yuta when you first met him. He was friendly, sported a smile that could break hearts, and for once, you didn't want to take things to the next level. You thought you had a crush on him, until you realized that he had a girlfriend. Shame, but you're not a relationship wrecker. You and Yuta remained friends until now, he helped you with with a project once because you had cried, frustrated that it was too hard. You would do anything, even risking your life, if it meant keeping him as a friend for as long as you lived.

"I don't know what that prick wants from me." You sighed, sinking deeper into the bed.

"He just can't accept the fact that you're moving on." Ryujin responded.

The girl with dark black hair had always been the problem solver. She rationalizes everything, even though the truth is hard to accept sometimes. If Ryujin says her take on the matter, everyone listens. You can't blame her from being upfront, that's just how she is. Hearing assurance from her felt like you were on the top of the world.

"Listen, just ignore him. If he ever tries anything again, tell us." Ryujin added.

"I agree, he was so desperate to make you hung up on him when he was the one who cheated. He even threatened you because you went out with jaehyun! The audacity of that cunt is unbelievable!" Jihyo exclaimed, hands releasing you and flailing in the air.

Ryujin made a grunt of agreement.

Jihyo rolled over, moving on from the topic.

"So you slept with Jaehyun, twice, and then went on a date?" Jihyo asked, tone lacing with excitement and curiosity.

"Jihyo, it was lunch." Ryujin lazily responded in your behalf. She had no say in the 'you slept with him, twice' part with no way of confirming it, so she stared at the side of your head, pressing the question even harder than the girl on your left.

You groaned, "Yes, twice. Two times."

Ryujin let out a low whistle and released you from her grasp, walking over to her closet to pick out a shirt. The sound of her opening a box full of accessories filled the room with loud jingles.

And then it dawned on you, your ring.

The ring that made a cut on Jaehyun's face, that is. You had your panties and now a ring in his house. How stupid can you be? (how smart can you be, to be honest.) You tried to ignore the giddy feeling of having to see him again the next time you bring up the stuff you left in his house.

"Do you like him?" Jihyo asked. Her eyes held curiosity and a tiny bit of comfort.

You knew Jihyo since you were in 3rd grade. She accidentally brought home your pencil case and when you noticed the foreign leopard print tube on your desk, you cried. The next day at school, you saw your pencil case on Jihyo's seat. That's how you came to know her. She had been with you through thick and thin. She rubbed circles on your back when you cried over your parents' divorce, she helped you with your shift that one time you had your first job and was overwhelmed by a mass of middle schoolers, she held up your hair when you had one too many drinks. You loved her like a sister you never had.

"I think so." You responded. Truthfully, you were sure you liked him. You keep wanting to see him, your heart starts a race when he comes to your mind. "Yes, i do like him."

Jihyo engulfed you in a hug. She nestled her face on your neck as she whispered. "I want you to be happy. That's all i want."

Your heart filled with warmth as you hugged her back tighter. She was truly such a wonderful person. You felt grateful that you're surrounded with good people.

You felt Ryujin come up and joined the hug.

"What are we hugging for?"

Jihyo's words rang inside your head the whole ride home. Your finger was hovering on the call button, just a mere centimeter away from contact.

"Fuck it, i miss him." You pressed on the call button, bringing the phone up to your ear. It rang two times until he picked up.

"Hey, i'm glad you called. I was just about to myself." Jaehyun said, his voice as pretty as ever.

You bit your lip, snuggling into your pillow as a smile formed on your face. Wow, you thought. You really like him, huh?

"Are you busy next friday?" You asked.

He paused for a couple of seconds, you were ready to propose another day until he responded, "I'm always free for you."

You held back a scoff at his cringy line. "Pick me up at 4, i have this place i know you'll like."

You could even hear the smile on his face when he agreed, adding a little 'It's a date then, i can't wait until friday comes. Good luck on your test.'

Friday rolled around in no time. You got a B on your test and that was enough for you. You got the notification on your phone thursday morning and almost choked on your cereal and did a cross even though you were far from religious. Your mood completely lit up when you were picking out clothes for your date. The skirt was, well, short. You paired it with a simple sleveless shirt and a pair of converse. You sent a message to the group, saying that you'd be on a date with Jaehyun. The text was read by Jihyo and Ryujin immediately. They sent a cluster of 'Yes!' and eye emojis.

A light knock came from the door, the giddy feeling on your stomach appearing once again.

When you opened the door and stepped out of the house, you were greeted by his familiar scent as he hugged you. He's a hugger, not that you're complaining.

"You look really nice, like really nice, in that outfit. Maybe we should just stay in today."

"Definitely not." That's a lie. You want to stay home and let him undress you, however, you wanted him to try this cheese pizza that tasted like heaven on a local diner right around the corner. Maybe next time, or after if you're lucky.

Jaehyun pursed his lips and, took a step back to get another look. "I have those exact same shoes."

You cocked a brow as you closed the door behind you. "Really? we should match next time."

The drive was short. You noticed that he was more smiley today. The dimples making an appearance when he caught you looking at him.

"Hmm? Are you okay? Your face is red." His brows furrowed as his hand went up, pressing the back of his palm onto your cheek.

You squirmed on your seat as your hand clasped together under the table. How come he doesn't realize how undeniably attractive he is? You could spend all day looking at him and not be bored.

"I'm fine, just hungry."

As if on cue, Mrs. Miller came up to the table Her checkered apron made your eyes squint, or maybe it was her smile.

"What do you lads want today?" She gave me a look, silently asking who the man is in front of me.

Mrs. Miller watched you grew up. She ran this family owned diner and took care of it so well, even her sons were jealous. You responded with narrowed eyes and a shake of the head.

"Get him a cheese pizza please, and two portions of blt for me."

She scribbled quickly on her notepad, the fluff ball stuck on the end of the pen wiggling with every stroke. "Right, and the drinks?"

"A strawberry smoothie and a chocolate one as well." Jaehyun finished for you, handing back the menu.

Jaehyun turned to you, "The food's better be good

"Oh trust me, it is."

"I can't believe you remembered and ordered me a cheese pizza." He chuckled in disbelief.

He didn't think that you'd remembered something like that, and when you did, he liked you even more.

"You mentioned that they were your favorite, and i can proudly say, the cheese pizza here will blow your mind."

"I swear to god if you're exaggerating, i'll never forgive you for this."

15 minutes later, you could see that Jaehyun was visibly drooling over the appealing sight of food in front of him.

"Wow this is fucking, " pause, "Amazing. Tell Mrs. Miller this diner's gonna be packed tomorrow."

"Told you it's good. She'd be so happy if more people come here, this place's not easy to find.” You breathed out.

You cupped your face in your hands with your elbows on the table as you chew on a bite of your blt. You proceed to watch him gulf down a slice, a big gap already forming in the, now, ruined circle of the pizza.

He swallowed, "Talking about packed, i have this party at my friend Jaemin's this sunday. I'm hoping you could come?"

"How many times do you party in a week? you're sure the party animal."

Jaehyun didn't look to pleased to hear you respond with another question.

"Would you come? You can bring your friends if you want."

You laughed, he made it clear he wanted you there.

"I will."

Jaehyun told Mrs. Miller that he'd recommend the place to his friends, and she gave him a piece of candy which he handed to you when you were outside. You unconsciously stared at his long, dainty fingers. Specifically the rings that hugged them.

"You have a nice sense of style, i see." You squeezed the tip of his index finger clad with a metallic band when he shoved the candy in your face.

"What? this? this is nothing compared to your ring that gave my face a cut."

"I'm sorry, i wasn't planning on doing anything that night, but you know how that ended."

"I can say for sure you have a nice choice of panties."

You brought your hand up to slap his shoulder but he dodged before you could. "Why would you say that, we're in the middle of the parking lot!"

"I was just reciprocating your compliment. I’m flattered you know."

He stopped in his tracks when he was about to enter the car.

"How about we go to my dorm? you can pick up your stuff that you left."

God was really in your side. What did you do to get this lucky? You reminded yourself not to take it for granted.

"I lied, i'm keeping the panties." Jaehyun said as his chest shook with laughter.

He grabbed your sides to lift you to his bed but you swung your feet, making you drop back to the floor of his single dorm room.

"They're expensive. It's either you buy another one for me or i'm leaving."

He narrowed his eyes as if saying are you serious? With his lips pressed together, he nodded. "Deal."

You were satisfied with the answer. Your hand caressed his cheeks and settled on his broad shoulder. Let's get to work, shall we.

"I only like guys with big dicks, and I always have fun talking filth into their ear about how much I love their cock. "

You paused, smirking with satisfaction from the sight in front of you

"But you….. you’re the biggest guy I’ve had. And there’s no way I’m not going to talk about that while I have the chance. So sit down on the bed, and let me get you going with my voice.. Although we both know it won’t stop there. "

He did as your told, eyes trailing your every movement with a coy smile on his lips. Enjoying every moment.

"That blood is pumping into your cock and fattening you up… the pulses are so intense I can see you flex through two layers of fabric… I know when that happens all you wanna do is pull those annoying clothes down and start beating your cock raw… and I love that."

For a fact, Jaehyun didn't even need to have his cock out to get you wet. The sheer size of that bulge in his pants and the way it looks like it’s trying to burst out is enough to make you tingle and crave it.

You loved knowing that his cock begs to be pleased so badly that you just want to delve into your animal instincts and make it feel good. You loved knowing that your voice alone was the reason for that fat bulge, that blood pumping, that pleasure.

"But we can’t keep it stuck in there forever, can we?"

He shook his head.

Pulling that big cock out is like a drug to you. You couldn't stop your pussy from aching when your fingertips were clenched around the waist of his boxers, slowly dragging them down and anticipating that giant cock’s release… and then it happened. His huge cock bounces out of those tight boxers, flying in the air and bounced on your face. And my god, you loved it on your face.

Seeing that thick, tight undersize of his shaft resting on your face while you salivate for it was almost too much to handle. That’s why you had to get to work quickly… waiting to play with his big dick was like suffocating.

"I know you love my lips. They’re perfect for pleasing big, fat cocks like yours."

"Mhmm, i love those pretty lips you have." He brushed his thumb on your lips as you kissed the pad of his finger.

His cockhead swelled with blood when you wrapped your lips around it, with almost not enough in your body to keep up with the pleasure your giving him.

The deeper your lips go on his cock, the faster his heart rate became, and the fatter his cock got. His stomach began to tighten and flex at the feeling, as your lips and tongue got to the base of his cock. The feeling of his thick cock being jammed all the way down your throat made his legs writhe. You let your throat muscles swallow around his fat cockhead and milked him as fast as you could, pushing him to the brink of explosion.

"It’s too much isn’t it? My throat massaging your head while my tongue licks your balls and my lips push into your crotch like I’m trying to eat your dick."

Jaehyun's face was red as he looked down on you, his ragged breaths signaling that he was enjoying this as much as you did.

You didn’t want him busting yet though… so you unjammed his cock from your throat and slowly pull it out, being sure to form a vacuum with your mouth to roll over his entire length as you exit.

You needed to let that cock calm down for a bit, so it’s a perfect time to talk about those balls.

His cock is amazing, almost too amazing, but a cock isn’t complete without a big set of balls. And his were a true specimen. Even without working up a load, his sacks were massive. Just one of them was enough to fill your entire mouth up if you decide to work them. Honestly, even if he didn’t have a cock down there and only had that pair of balls, he’d still have a beautiful big bulge to flaunt around. And when his balls were full? Well.. let’s find out what that’s like.

His cock seemed to have calmed down now… at least enough to stop him from busting a nut everywhere. It’s not like you wanted him losing that hard on. You thought it’s about time your mouth truly went to work on that cock.. just how he liked it.

You gripped the base of his thick shaft tightly, making him pant and moan. You didn’t carry around a cock ring, so you had to improvise. You wanted to see those veins. God… those veins. Having a huge cock is great and all, but the fact that he had such impressive veins was really the icing on the cake. Grabbing his base so tightly makes all that blood center in his cock, and that blood loves to fill up those veins. They got so thick and fat, inflated with immense amounts of liquid pumping around his dick.

Your lips started working his fat cockhead again, but not with as much mercy as last time.

Your sucking was fast, tight and intense. Your mouth craves that load and the best way to pump it up was to work his cock fast and furiously. His head swelled again, even thicker than last time. Once he had swollen to max size, you moved your lips further down his shaft and began sucking angrily at his entire length.

Each time your lips traveled up and down on his big dick, you felt those fat veins pulsing between your lips and begging to be relieved, crying out in unison at the unbridled pleasure you're giving him. You knew he was close. You knew those balls were filling up with cream, you knew he couldn’t handle it. That’s why you were going to relieve him of all that tension.

Your hand ran up his leg and grabbed those fat nuts, Your nails giving him a lovely tickle as you got them tight in your hand. Your lips still sucking angrily at his fat cock, desperate to work up that thick load that’s built up in his balls.

Jaehyun's breathing became irregular and panicked as he felt himself getting close to bursting.

You pulled his cock out of your mouth and placed your lips on the size of his huge cock. You sucked hard at the huge, fat prominent blue vein that sat there, making him squirm and moan harder than ever before. That vein was so massive and full of blood that it felt like it’s big enough to be a cock on its own.

That’s when you felt it.

Your other hand was still on his balls and you felt that churning. You felt that boiling hot, thick cum sloshing around in his fat sack rapidly as you sucked at his massive vein. But you didn’t want Jaehyun nutting in the air, so you stopped working that vein and put your hand around that base and squeezed tightly, stopping that nut from getting any further up his shaft.

You wanted to swallow that load, and that’s what you're going to do.

You glided your lips back on his huge, fat cock and sucked harder than you had ever sucked a cock before. Your cheeks hollowed as you moved up and down on his dick, those veins still throbbing hard as you pleased them. Your hand went back to gripping those fat ballsacks.

You knew Jaehyun was close, his throbbing and pulsing was too intense for him not to be. You felt those balls churning in your hand again, and obscene amount of cream had accumulated in those fat sacks and he needed to empty them.

As your lips sucked hard and fast on his cock, you felt it coming. His fat balls began pumping that thick, creamy load up the thick shaft of his cock, filling up his massive cockhead with cum. You sucked extra hard at his head, milking it with all the energy you had in you.

Then it burst.

His huge, fat, engorged cock made one big throb and squirted his massive creamy load out of his cock, his balls tightening and flexing as they gave his swollen cockhead more batter to unload. Your cheeks kept filling up with his man-juice, but you swallowed it all down your throat every time. Those veins were extra fat and throb angrily as he busted that thick nut, every nerve in his crotch singing and celebrating the intense release. As the last of his nut emptied out of his balls, you gave his huge cock one last hard suck at the head and he busted the last of his cream in one thick shot.

His fat balls. His thick, huge shaft. His massive, extra creamy spunk. THAT’S why you loved his cock.

"Oh my fucking god.." Jaehyun trailed, his hands covering his face as his whole body trembled.

He shook his head, "I can't let you leave without having my cock in you. Get on the bed."

"Yes, sir."

He hurriedly took off your shirt an panties. Letting out a low whistle as his eyes raked over your body.

"God, I love your body..." Jaehyun's lustful gaze trailed over your body. He was sure you'd be the death of him.

"What do you love about it, Jaehyun? Tell me what you want to do to me." You asked, lacing your tone with innocence.

"Tell you?" He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. Jaehyun tasted himself and deepened the kiss by pulling you closer with his hand on the back of your head.

"Baby, you know I love your body. I..." Jaehyun took a deep shaky breath. He didn't know why he's nervous. Maybe it's because both of you were sober, and not in rush, for once. He'd like to savor this moment.

"I love your shoulders and I really love this place, right here, just by the curve of your neck. I love to kiss and suck the skin there."

He sucked the spot softly, light pecks making you shiver.

He then kissed down your chest while his hands run down your back to your ass. His lips trailed down your body with a touch as gentle as it gets.

"I love how sensitive your nipples are. Maybe even more than mine. I love that when I suck on them..." He brought your nipple in his mouth and soft giggles filled the room as he teased your nipple in his mouth, your hand went up to his hair and tugging softly.

"Your breath hisses in like that. And I love your hand in my hair..."

He flicked your nipple with his tounge, making him get a moan from you as a reward.

"You like that? When I flick it like that? the other one needs some attention too." He sucked the other nipple. He playfully bit on it, making you gasp with surprise.

You tugged at your bra, the feeling of being restricted made you uncomfortable. And you squirmed under him when you felt the dampness on your much more cheaper panties.

"Mhmm, I can take these off."

He watched you take off your undergarments, biting those lips of his as he spoke up,

"Bend over."

Your eyes widened at his strict tone, but you obliged.

"Yes, Sir."

You felt the bed dip as his knees balanced themselves on top of the sheets. He gripped your luscious ass and spread them apart, his hot breath fanning over your cunt. You were getting impatient and started grinding on air. Jaehyun chuckled and buried his face in your cunt, mumbling, "I’ll take care of you."

His tounge worked it's way on you. You moaned and your knees buckled when he sucked on your clit.

"Oh god your mouth is so warm...yes, please, run your tongue up and down, just like that...oh fuck...keep sucking like that."

"You like it that much, hm?" He said in your cunt. His hand came in contact with your butt as he spanked you, the stinging sensation spread over your butt slowly disappearing when he caressed the red print with his hand.

"Do you want me to finger you, baby?

"Yes ...please, please can I have it..."

You felt him circling your clit with the pad of his thumb until he inserted two fingers inside you. It was still not enough as you clenched around it.

"More, Jaehyun more."

He slowly moved them in and out as the friction give you more pleasure, his tounge now lapping your juice and teasing your clit at the same time.

"...oh god, fuck, don't stop..."

Just as those words left your mouth, he suddenly stopped and pulled out his fingers from your wet cunt. You whined and trembled

"No! Why did you stop?"

"I'm going to fuck you now."

You got more wet hearing that from him You didn't think that was even possible, but the thought of him fucking you made you grew more desperate.

"Please baby, I need you inside me." You softly breathed out, looking at him behind you. He was jerking himself on the sight of you on all fours on his bed. A sly smile on his lips as he positioned his cock in front of your pussy. Just a thrust away from being inside you.

"Whose pussy is this, hm?" He rubbed his cock on your wet folds, making you back up to him once again craving for any sort of friction.

"It's yours Jaehyun, please fuck me.. please." You begged.

"That's a good girl."

With a sudden thrust, you were overwhelmed by his size. You felt the slightest bit of pain until he drew back and pounded his cock into you. You saw stars as your mouth was left agape.

You felt him pull you up, and nestled his face on your shoulders with his left hand on your neck, and the other on your nipple, gently rolling it on his fingers.

"You're so fucking tight for me. Your pussy's all mine. I'm gonna fuck it however i like, isn't that right, princess?"

You croaked out a moan as your breathing got restricted by the second. "Yes, oh god yes. It's yours, Jaehyun. Fuck it however you like."

He sped up his pace and released you from the grip on your neck. You felt his large hand pressing your lower abdomen and giving you a sensation you've never felt before.

"I'm right here. Can you feel me?"

His voice came out raspy, and you felt his heartbeat speeding up on your back as he pressed himself closer to you. Hips still pounding roughly and the sound of your butt slapping against his hips filled the room.

Your eyes rolled back as you sink yourself deeper into this pit of desire. You could only manage a simple 'mhmm' until you felt it coming.

The knot on your stomach grew larger and more intense as he continued to shove his large cock into your pussy. You craved for your release and clenched him harder.

"Oh, baby. That's right, make it tighter for me."

He coiled his hand in your hair and added, "We're gonna cum together, okay?"

"Y-yes, I'm close Jaehyun."

With a few more thrusts, You felt his hot cum filling your hole as he continued to fuck you through your orgasm. The constant friction sent you over the edge in shock waves as your whole body felt like heaven, you felt it even to the tips of your toes. You felt his cock jerk inside you as he pulled out, cum dribbling down your thighs and onto the sheets, Jaehyun witnessing the heavenly sight of his juices mixed with yours just leaking in front of him.

He let out a deep breath as you plopped yourself down on the matress. You felt like your bones just melted. The soft fabric of his comforter covered your butt as Jaehyun laid down by your side.

"It's a little chilly." You muttered, a smile on your lips.

Jaehyun smiled too, but to himself. He was looking at an angel. Your cheeks tinted pink with the gentle rise of your chest letting out soft breaths. You were in that afterglow, Jaehyun liked you even more if that's possible. He might even be in love with you.

"C'mere." You invited him, raising the blanket and patting the spot next to you

He laughed snuggled close to you, the warmth in his heart getting stronger.

"So, what do you want to do now?" Jaehyun asked, his voice lazy, almost sleepy.

"Let's shower." You proposed.

"A shower, huh?" He kissed your nose, "Whatever you want, baby. We've got all night."

"He invited us to a party."

"Don't try to change the topic!"

Ryujin picked you up and witnessed you walk of shame. She didn't say anything and just plainly looked at Jaehyun as he waved at her when he guided you out of the building. Ryujin didn't bring anything up on the whole ride.

It was Jihyo who squeezed every last drop of information you had. You weren't bothered by her nosiness, and answered the questions. You stuffed your mouth with doritos every time she asked too much though.

The three of you were clad in tight dresses and sparkly fabric. Well, except Ryujin who sported baggy jeans and a sweater. You didn't expect what happened in the party. Even though you'd been pushing the thought to the back of your mind, it didn't stop him from coming.

Hwang hyunjin ruined your night.

You were looking for Jaehyun, but his friends said he was on his way. You called him, he didn't pick up. You went out for air, leaving your friends behind to play beer pong. You enjoyed the muted music from outside the house, holding yourself back from taking off your heels to roll on the glass.

And then you heard him.

"Hey."

His voice surprised you, the drink in the little red cup swaying as you turned your head to find where the voice was coming from.

There he stood. Long blonde hair half tied, his lips a pretty shade of pink as he stared at you.

You felt your stomach sank as you took a step back. You knew that he would utter every single thing he could to hurt you once again. You wanted to run away or have the earth swallow you whole when he brought his hand up to hold your cheek. His palm was cold. An unfamiliar sensation to you. You pulled his hand away from you, only to have him grip your wrist.

"Hyunjin."

"Listen to me, please." His eyebrows furrowed, the grip on your wrist tightened when you attempted to break away.

"I have no reason to."

He paused for a while, still not letting you go. It looked as if he was building up the courage for something. And the next second he spoke up, it's as if the wind wanted to save you, it was cold and you were freezing. Almost making you shiver and go back under the blankets.

"I'm sorry." He looked down at his shoes.

Your face grew hot, that familiar feeling started to bubble up in your stomach again. "No matter how many times you say that, i won't forget what you did to me." You spat.

"I'm sorry." He was looking at you now.

"Tears? Fuck off. You've done that already."

You tried to yank your hand away, but to no avail, he kept his grip.

"Let go! You're hurting me!"

"Let's start over, please." A tear fell and rolled down his cheek. The cheek that you caressed and the cheek that you kissed. Now, the thought of touching him is revolting. Even starting over was impossible.

"This isn’t going to be fixed. You’ve ruined this for good now. After all the shit you put me through, and you come to me saying this?" You yelled, exasperated.

He bent his head down. "I'm still in love with you. I was stupid to fuck other girls, when i know you're home waiting for me. I.. i kept contacting you because i didn't want you to forget about me. That's the last thing i want in my life."

He looked at you, his tears falling every time he blinks, dribbling to his chin and onto the cold, hard concrete. "I want to try again. I can't go a day without you anymore. Please."

A million questions ran through your mind, but only a word came out. "Why?"

"I will change. I promise. I will change to whoever you want me to be. I will do it properly. I want you in my arms again." He was gripping your shoulders now, his hair messy and wet.

"I can’t help but think you’re a terrible person. I can go on with my life without you, Hyunjin. Get out of my life and everything will be perfect."

His legs wobbled as his knees hit the ground, his arms wrapped around your knees as he pressed his forehead against the exposed skin of your thighs. His shoulders shook as he sobbed.

"Please. Tell me how you feel and i'll leave, i'll never show my face to you again. I need to be sure." He looked up at you, lips quivering as guilt filled his bloodstream. Oh how much he regretted what he'd done to you.

"You’ll never be the person I love. Not now, not ever." You looked at him with so much hatred, you almost bit your tounge off trying to stop yourself from bashing his head. "I would rather die than be the person who climbs into bed with you at the end of the night."

He grew silent and stood up. Hands by his sides and said, "Okay." He paused and wiped the tears from his cheeks before walking away from you. "I love you, y/n."

You hoped he kept his promise.

How did it come to this, scrolling through his messages and paranoia gripping you by the neck.

How did it come to this? Hyunjin swayed you with his words and it once made your heart race but now you seeing his face had unconventionally made you want to die. You weren’t quite prepared for this feeling.

What happened with his promise of being yours? Was that just a test of courage, to see if you could even form those words in that exact order, to convince him you were his?

You knew all of his secrets and you knew who he really was and you knew what he'd been doing and you knew, you knew every time you came back home to him he smelled like another woman.

They accused you of losing your mind, they warned you about people like him but you thought to yourself, "Maybe he'll be different." Because goddamn baby, he made you feel special, he painted you a blue sky, he was too good with his words. He knew you tried to keep it fun, you tried to keep it good but your efforts were clearly not enough.

You knew you lost him, but it felt more like losing your mind. Was it you, did you say something way too honest that made him run and hide like a scared little boy? Once you thought were so much more than 'enough' to him but it's the same old questions that you asked yourself:

Weren't you enough?

Didn't you try hard enough?

Didn't you pass all his tests?

Maybe you'd known it all this time that he kept what was between you blurry, never really telling you what 'we' were or was it him and his careless vocabulary that effortlessly swept you off your feet?

Spiraling down this endless pit of confusion and secrecy, how did it get to this? Smiling when he came home, greeting him at the door and hugging him, asking him how'd school go and kiss him like you didn't know anything, like he didn't do anything wrong.

You hoped everything would be better as you sank down on your knees and cried harder than you'd ever cried.

at 1 am, Hyunjin's phone rang and he knew it's you. He picked up and ask why you called and you told him to pick you up in an hour and to bring a jacket. He smiled and hung up, wondering what you had in store for him at 1 am in the morning and he knew he would spend the next hour fretting over how he's gonna look because he always wanted to look his best in front of you even if it's just another one of your midnight drives.

2 am and he was driving down the road, with no particular place in mind and he wondered if you knew how perfect this moment was, just him and you and the world that was full of mystery and adventure that you both sought. A joke passed between you, a private one you'd had for months and your friends called you crazy because only the two of you could understand each other. Just two minds in perfect sync.

3 am and everything was shattered because he's in his bed, and all of that was just a memory that somehow crept into his dreams. 3 am, and he realized you're no longer with him and it's not him on the driver's seat of the car anymore.

4 am and Hyunjin was tossing and turning, and he couldn't go back to sleep because all he was thinking about was you again and he thought he was over it and he was not. 4 am, and his heart wrenched when he thought about your smile, the way your eyes lit up when you talked about the things you loved. 4 am, and he's thinking you're with Jaehyun and that should be him, that should be him, that should be him.

5 am and Hyunjin had given up all hopes of going back to sleep because it's one of those nights where he couldn't help but think about what might have been if he had been enough. 5 am and those nights with you were gone, 5 am and those jokes were forgotten, 5 am and you're not here with him for real.

Jaehyun looked for you. He asked your friends, He asked his friends. But they all said the same thing, 'She was looking for you a while ago.'

He pressed the button on his phone, the light illuminated his face under the dark sky. 5 missed calls from you.

He cursed to himself and pressed the call button, chewing his bottom lip as he tapped his feet on the concrete as he leaned back on his car seat. "Please, pick up." He muttered.

You didn't pick up. He was pulling his phone away from his ear to try and call you again but he was surprised from the notification that came from Yukhei.

'Jihyo said she's at home.'

"Fuck." He sighed, running his hands over his face as he peered over the backseat, the lonely basket filled with snacks that he was planning to empty with you as he took you away from the party.

He quickly scrolled down his contacts and pressed the call button again.

"Hey, Jihyo. What happened? Y/n won't pick up my calls."

Jaehyun heard her sigh as a door closed behind her. He heard rustling, sounding like Jihyo just sat down.

"It was Hyunjin."

Jaehyun knew guys like Hwang Hyunjin, and when Jihyo told him what he did to you, he wasn't a bit surprised. Just angry, very angry.

As Jihyo told him what happened, he couldn't help but wanting to hug you and tell you everything would be okay. He fisted his palms until his knuckles turned white when he heard Hyunjin cheated on you. He'd beat him up for you if you told him to. When Jihyo said you needed time to be alone, Jaehyun listened. You didn't let anyone go inside the room with you, you didn't want to talk to anyone. Jihyo said that you were already sleeping after crying so much.

Jaehyun and Jihyo didn't talk about you again and ended the call. He thanked Jihyo for telling him what happened.

It was 2 weeks after Hyunjin said he'd leave your life.

You were seated on the plush of the booth, a warm cup of milk giving you the warmth you needed. You watched as the bell on top of the door jingled. He entered the room and scanned the cafe. His eyes landed on you and he smiled.

"How are you?" He slid into the booth. His dainty hands covered yours, his cold rings giving you a jolt.

"I'm good now." You paused, and looked at him.

"I'm sorry for disappearing for like.. 2 weeks."

He chuckled and shook his head, obviously trying to lighten the mood and wipe the frown on your eyebrows. "Hey.. it's okay. You know i'll always be here."

"I'm sure you heard what happened."

Jaehyun clicked his tounge, playing with your fingers and turning the metallic band on your pinky. "Yes, i have. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

You thought about it, he's got a point. Hyunjin was out of your life for good, and you'd like to keep it that way. "You know what? you're right. Let's talk about something else."

"Did you know that i filled a whole basket with snacks for you and me, only to eat them myself at home?"

"Thanks for the guilt trip. What do you want to order? my treat."

He ordered an espresso. He was beautiful.

It rained and it rained hard. Hard enough to flush away all the bad thoughts and you solely focused on the man sitting in front of you.

You were talking about a new song that you've been listening to. Jaehyun listened with a smile even though you were sure he wasn't listening. He looked at you with such intensity that it made you ask,

"Do you have anything to say? You've literally had that smile for 5 minutes now, what are you-"

"Let's date."

That shut you up. You had definitely been thinking about it. The thought of dating him felt like a new beginning that you'd been waiting for.

"I know you feel the same way, Y/n. Let's date."

"I was about to say yes anyway, but okay."

You both held hands as you sipped the warm liquid that warmed your heart even more. Jaehyun was smiling like an idiot until he kissed you, his smile still plastered the whole time.

You ran your hand over your hair, only to have it swatted away. He played a lock of your hair and twirled it between his finger.

"I don't have anything to do tonight. Do you want to go out or stay in?"

You turned to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. "Let's go out."

"Where?"

"I don't know?"

He lightly pushed you, "You always say that."

"Let's figure it out on the car."

You left the bedroom, tripping over an unopened box on the floor as Jaehyun snickered behind you. You glared at him and he looked at a nonexistent dust on his shoulder.

You remembered the first time that you slept over. You pulled the simple line of 'your bed is comfier than mine, let me sleep over.' and now your toothbrush and clothes was in his house. You basically lived with him.

Every second you spent with him felt like heaven.

Even the time where he dug the trash to help you look for one of your airpods because you thought you accidentally threw it out while cleaning the house. It was heaven when you went to a concert after getting high with him. You wondered if that even happened or was it just a dream or a thought you had while you were high.

It has been 5 months that you were dating. And you loved every second of it. To even say that you love it was an understatement. It excites you to the point of reaching an unfamiliar degree.

You almost, just almost bought a ring and proposed to him even though you were young and marrying someone that early was too far off from what a 10 year old you would think, when Jaehyun remembered the time that you mentioned you had light sensitivity, and started to wake up early and open all the windows, but he always closes them before you wake up.

You smiled on the seat of his car as he drove by without a particular direction. He lowered the windows down, letting the evening fresh air wash over you. He looked at you with adoration in his eyes. And a coy smile on his lips. Those lips that said the sweetest things.

You looked down at the little white rimmed picture stuck on his dashboard.

It was you and Jaehyun, arms flailing in the air as a pile of thrifted clothes and accessories were piled up beneath, and behind you. You had gone thrift shopping with him, and accidentally made him addicted to it. He always invited you every time he had free time to go pick out some clothes and it was a new thing to talk about. It was nice seeing him excited.

The sun was setting, and you hadn't noticed that Jaehyun had stopped the car.

With a loud click, he opened the door. "Let's sit out here. The sun's setting."

You exited the car and walked up to him, slowing down to sit on a perfect, green patch of grass that tickled your skin.

Jaehyun sat beside you as you engraved the sight to your memory. Him with a sunset.

You suddenly felt a rush in you, every second was difficult as your heart started racing. There couldn't be a better moment than now. You glanced at him, mentally preparing yourself as if you were in a kind of competition. He looked at you and cocked a brow, a silent 'what?'

So he did notice you were acting weird, "Is the sun setting in the wrong direction? What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I love you."

It came out of your mouth quickly as your face becomes red, heartbeat too fast to tame. He was surprised and his mouth was left agape. Until he showed those dimples and said the same thing.

"I love you too."

That was how you said your first i love you's. Now, you were on your knees in front him as he muttered, "So we ended up staying home."

Jaehyun knew he loved it when your lips were on his neck, but on a Saturday evening with both of you loving eachother, everything seemed so much more perfect.

"Fuck," he groaned, "You have no idea what just seeing you on your knees in front of me does to me," he said, running his hand over your cheek before dropping his hands to undo the buckle of the belt and unzip his jeans.

"What are you doing to me?" He murmured, sliding his boxers down, freeing his hardness.

"Give me your hand," he said, holding out his hand. You placed your hand in his and he guided it over to himself, wrapping your hand around his cock with a quiet groan. You looked up at him he groaned again, threading his hands in your hair.

"You're too fucking perfect for me." he said, pain flashing across his face.

"I want you. I want all of you. I don't see anyone else, Jaehyun... Just you." The words came out easily, you were sure of this, loving him and everything about him.

"Fuck," he muttered bending down and placing a kiss on your head before straightening out.

"Open your mouth," he said, grabbing your jaw and rubbing circles into it with his thumb. "Open your mouth and take me in."

You obeyed and opened your mouth, guiding him over to you. You licked your lips before tentatively wrapping them around his tip.

Jaehyun groaned and tightened his hold in your hair. "Bigger, kitten," he said, still rubbing soothing circles into your jaw.

You dropped your jaw and took more of him in. He groaned, holding your head in place as he sunk into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat. You made a sound of surprise, your eyes watering slightly as he stayed there.

"Look at me," Jaehyun said, sliding both hands behind your head.

You looked up at him and he sunk further, going down your throat and making your eyes close briefly at him filling you up until you almost felt as if you were choking although somehow, not in an unpleasant way.

"Are you mine?" You nodded and Jaehyun took a deep breath, reminding himself to move slow with you. "Fuck yes, you are," he growled, sliding out of your mouth and letting you catch your breath before he slid back in. Your eyes shut and you slid your tongue along him.

"Fuck," Jaehyun groaned. "You're perfect. I'm going to really fuck that pretty mouth," he growled possessively. You opened your mouth and he pushed back in. He groaned and guided you down his whole length before pulling you back, repeating the motion over and over until. He stared down at you and moaned, watching you bob back and forth.

He prided himself on stamina but the sight of you sucking him off, the humility he felt that the woman in front of him wanted him like this, it had him feeling sensitive much faster than he was used to.

"I'm close, princess." Jaehyun warned.

You surprised him by speeding up, moving faster, sucking him in deeper and making him moan. He held your head in place when he finished, sinking himself down into your throat as he came. He stayed in your mouth for a moment, panting. He slowly pulled out and you took in a deep breath, wiping your mouth and looking up at him with your beautiful eyes he adored so much.

"Did I do okay?" You asked, you knew you did. You just wanted to hear him praise you.

"Did you..." Jaehyun trailed off, shaking his head

and not believing what he was hearing. He bent down and picked you up, tossing you on the bed and kissing up your legs, sliding your shirt up.

"Yes, kitten. You did more than okay. That was the best fucking blow job I've ever had and I want to show you just how much I appreciate it," he said, tugging down your leggings and underwear.

"You want me to show you how much I liked it, kitten? You want me to put my mouth on you and make you cum?" He asked, kissing your inner thigh and looking up at you.

You nodded eagerly. "Yes."

Jaehyun didn't move right away, he just stared up at you, wondering how it was possible someone like you could ever want to be with a person like him. He stared at you so long you started feeling self-conscious.

"What?" you asked, a blush forming under his gaze.

For him, you were the embodiment of perfection, and he never wanted to lose you.

"Nothing," Jaehyun said, swallowing hard. "Nothing. You're just so fucking beautiful," he said, dropping his head between your legs.

"My love." he murmured too quiet for you to hear before he moved his tongue over you, reveling in the reward of hearing you moan.

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