#muto khaghh
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hermits-hovel · 3 years ago
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some rp-inspired memes wherein Ancel is just so tired all the time
Miyu @ryukodragon Muto @neomikey
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neomikey · 3 years ago
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Contributing to the #RyukoPrompts this month (albeit belatedly), Final Fantasy 14 with my wife and sister-in-law has been helping us to get through the lockdown!  After all our time spent running through Eorzea, original adventures inspired by our time playing came to mind...and I thought to write one out.
Enjoy~!  :)
The following story’s canon is questionable,
both with the in-game lore and how the characters are presented.
Viewer discretion is advised, void where prohibited,
see store for details, careful of wet floor.
~
Hear...
Her voice was calm and crystalline.
Hear.... Feel....
The air was warm.
Hear.... Feel....  Listen....
There was great weight to her tone and a quiet urgency.
I am Hydaelyn. I know all...see all...I have seen you...and you are needed.
You will be required for a great task.  One of which you must not fail, for to do so would bring great ruin.
The task which you have been given is monumental – you will help to stop a primal where no one else can.
My words...keep them.  Remember them. Heed them.
You must not forget, Muto. You must not forget.
~
Muto blearily opened his eyes.  Outside the world was waking.  Light was coming in through the window, still orange as the sun started its journey above the horizon.  Birds were already in song, announcing to the world that they had survived the dark night.  Windows were beginning to light as the people of Gridania awoke.
As he lied in bed, something urgently tugged at Muto's mind. ��Something desperate. Something important.  His eyes shot open.
He was out of toilet tissue.
This was the fourth attempt that Hydaelyn had made to spur the Hrothgar toward his quest.
Stumbling out of bed in his boxers, he rushed for the door and threw it open. Rushing across the small house, he passed by another white-furred Hrothgar and a tired-looking Lalafell who were sitting at a table with mugs.  On the side of the beastman's in large block lettering had originally been “#One Brother,” but the number had been messily scratched out and replaced by “#1st”.  It was a gift Muto had made while still learning to read and write Eorzean.  The Lalafell, meanwhile, had a tankard large enough for a Roegadyn filled to the brim with coffee.
“Just one morning,” Lalinu sighed, “I would like for him to be decent when he comes out of there.”
“Muto is not naked,” Tahro observed.
“A marked improvement,” the Lalafell admitted.
The door to the back was flung open and Muto rushed out.  A minute later, he rushed back and stood before them, eyes wide with excitement.  “No more emergency!” he announced.
“...I'm sorry?” Lalinu asked.  “Wait, no, forget I—”
“Muto thought there was no more toilet tissue, but Muto was wrong!”
“You were wrong about something.”  She went to have a drink of coffee.  “How about that.”
“Tahro buy,” Tahro informed him.  “Tahro also fill up larder.  Get groceries. Get good deals.”
“While somebody was out playing adventurer.”
“Muto is real adventurer....” Muto insisted.
“If you got sustainably paid, you could be considered a 'professional' adventurer.  Just like how I'm supposed to be a 'professional' accountant.”  She had another drink of coffee.  “Though I currently lack the dignity that comes with such a position.”
“Muto think Lalinu is great!”  He grinned brightly, hoping the smile would affect her mood.  It remained as dark as her coffee.
“Muto need a good job,” Tahro informed him.  “Get good money.  Money not lasting.”
“He's right.  It's not.”  Lalinu swiveled in her chair, then hopped off. She walked across the kitchen to where her desk was set up, which was a little lower than the Hrothgars' knees.  She sifted through the stacks of papers, brought up one, then put on her glasses.  “After your last trip to...hold on....”  She squinted and leaned in, then removed her glasses and sighed.  “I can't even pronounce half these names....  Anyways, your exploits are currently not economically self-sustaining, even cutting back on everything – including feeding that beast in the barn – and your queen's 'adventuring grant' won't last forever.”
“Muto need to do more,” Tahro gently informed Muto.  “Cannot keep doing light duties.”
“Grand company have nothing but light duties for Muto!” Muto protested.  “So many adventurers in Eorzea!  So many legends!” He put a hand to his chest.  “But Muto is legend in heart.”
“We know how great you think you are,” Lalinu said after another drink of coffee, “but until you make that a reality, you're under a ticking clock.”
Muto looked above himself.  “...where is clock?”
Lalinu gave a throaty sigh of frustration, but Tahro spoke up in her stead. “Lalinu mean...get big job...or no more adventuring.”
It looked for a moment like someone had slapped Muto, as his expression went from shock to heart-rending sadness.  His ears drooped, his tail went limp, and he looked like he was about to cry.  However, the moment was brief, as moments later, his ears went back up, he brought his fists near his chest, and he bore a determined expression.
“Muto get help!”
~
The world was warm and comfortable.  She was a ball.  A warm, fluffy, pink ball.  All was well in the world.
And then she woke up.
“Miyu...!”
“Mm....”
“Miyu, hey...!”
“Nuhhhh....”
“Come on, it's time to get up.”
“Nuhhhhh...!”
“Don't 'nuhhhh' me.  You asked me to get you up.”
A pink tail emerged from the blanket ball and began to angrily swish.  “That was before it was morning....”
“I even let you sleep in a little,” Ryuko said, poking Miyu through her hammock.
The blanket ball tightened.  “Then you can let me sleep in more.”
“If you sleep in more, you're going to miss all the good jobs.”
“Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmhh.” The blanket ball loosened and Miyu's head poked out.  Her hair was skewed to one side and only one eye was open.  “You know how unfair this is.”
Ryuko stood before her already clad in her dragoon armor, leaning on her spear.  “Oh, I know, but Eorzea isn't gonna help itself.”
“Why not?”  Miyu tucked herself back into the blanket ball.  “Seriously.  People treat us like their servants sometimes.  Like...picking mushrooms a little outside the city's walls.  'I'll give you 50 gil to get ten for me!' Get them yourself! Seriously, the creatures outside are not bad if you don't bother them.  We have other things to worry about, we're not here to do your chores for you.”
She heard the Au Ra's boots walking away.  “Technically speaking, that's exactly what we're here to do – do whatever people pay us to.”
“Well, some of us have standards....”
Ryuko's boots came back.  “Are you getting up?”
“In a moment....”
There was a pause. “Moment's up!”
The carbuncle was dropped into the hammock and immediately starting rooting through the blanket to find an opening, while Miyu's limbs flailed.  “Ack! Twitchums!  No! Stop!  Off!” His nose found Miyu's face, then eagerly started licking. “TWITCHUMS!!”
The hammock twisted from all the activity, dumping Miyu and Twitchums on the floor, followed by the blanket, which fell and draped over half of Miyu's face.  Ryuko did her best to hide her amusement.  “Glad you're up!”
“That was meeeeaaan...!” Miyu whined, pushing Twitchums away.  He was trying to jump up on her chest to lick her face, both because he loved her and because it was time for breakfast.  He was a bright, shining topaz color, indicating how thrilled he was to see the Miqo'te.
“You asked me to get you up,” said Ryuko as she turned and headed for the door.
“I'm asking you for less next time...” grumbled Miyu.  She stroked Twitchums's head, making his tails twitch in delight.
“Go and get ready soon!”  Ryuko waved from the door.  “I'm sure you're gonna get a great job today!”
~
“It's Declan,” he said, flashing a bright, sly smile, “but you can call me 'Dec.'”
The Viera lady looked to the Miqo'te less than enthused.
“Y'know, I'm kinda big around these parts,” Declan went on.  “I took out some primals singlehandedly, you know.  Like Titan?  Yeah, that was me.  I even took his crystal, just because I felt like it.  I sold it for a million gil, even though I didn't need the money.  Did I mention I was rich?”  He flashed the Viera a bright smile again, who returned a flat stare.
“Declan,” said someone behind him.
“Not now,” he said, waving the person away.  “Okay, okay,” he went on to the Viera, “I've got a secret...but you've gotta promise not to tell anyone.”
She just stared.
“I...am actually one of the original Warriors of Light.  I know!  I know, but it's true!  I was there when Bahamut broke out.  I was actually right by Louisoix's side.  I told everyone, 'Get out of here and I'll protect you!'  I was gonna save everyone, but Louisoix decided to hog the glory.  He totally stole my idea.”
“Declan.”
“Not now.”  He leaned against the wall, still eyeing the Viera.  “So, I wouldn't call myself a 'legendary hero,' but some people do.  I just was trying to do what was right, y'know?  However, I'd love to have lunch with ya.  I know this lovely place near the Steps of Nald.  My treat! You like Lalafell cooking?”
The lady sighed. “I'm gay.”  Then she walked off.
“All right!  All right, that's fine!  Hey, you do you!  Just making polite conversation!”  She wasn't stopping.  Declan sighed, his ears lowering a bit, then looked to a nearby man in a hooded white robe with glasses.  “What do you think, Bo?  You wanna try?”
“No, Declan...” he wearily sighed.  
“Awww, you're no fun....”  Bo hadn't been “fun” ever since he had become a white mage and swore a vow of celibacy.  Declan ran his fingers through his hair, then turned to face the young, dark-skinned man.  He had a metal-clad grimoire hanging from his belt and waiting with his arms crossed.  “Yeah?”
“About time.”
“I was doing important business, thank you.”
Enzo took a hardboiled egg out of his pocket and bit into it through the shell. “Does Kijhon'a know about this 'business?'”
“Hey, I was just being friendly is all!  Just making a lady feel welcome!”
“Sure, whatever.” Enzo tilted his head.  “I've got a lead on a job.  A big one, and I could use your help.”
“Ehh?”  Declan arched a brow.  “Well...maybe.  Maybe.  What's it paying?”
Enzo inwardly cringed.  He knew this might be where things fell apart. “Technically, it doesn't.”
“Not interested,” Declan immediately responded.
“It's a Garlean facility,” Enzo went on.  “It's currently lightly guarded.  I've got a lead on—”
“Ehh....” Declan gave a dismissive wave, then walked off.
“You can have a share of whatever we find inside!” Enzo called after him.  Declan turned a corner, then was gone.  Enzo's ears flattened, while his hand went to the ring on his necklace and rubbed it while in thought.  As much of a blowhard as Declan was, he did have considerable skill, which was exactly what Enzo needed right then.
Enzo popped the rest of the egg into his mouth.  If Declan was out, what other options did Enzo have?  His sister, sure, but he could guarantee she would say “no” straight-out.  This wasn't something that he could entrust to just anyone at the grand company either, as secrecy and decorum would be needed, and the grand companies documented everything.
“Hmm....”
There was an idea.  Not the best one, but it would work...enough.
~
Miyu waded through the crowds.  She was running a little behind, both because she had been tired, plus Twitchums had decided to take his time with “doing his business.”  What made this situation all the worse is that it was Tuesday, meaning that all the week's fresh jobs were just posted. Miyu mused that maybe this week, people were still recovering from the last one and weren't likely to be out there this early.
Seeing the grand company's building, her heart sank.  She was definitely wrong.
A large crowd of adventurers clustered in front of the building.  Some were crowding around the posting boards, while others were waiting in line to talk with representatives.  It was always surprising to her how most of the larger races hardly ever stepped on the smaller ones, particularly the Lalafell.  If she were a giant, she could see herself being lost in her own world, but then again, it was likely taught to them from a young age to be mindful of the small ones.
Getting to the board, she likely wouldn't find too many good postings left. Her best bet would be to wait in line with everyone and to see what someone of her rank could get.  Given her record of...nothing big or impressive...it likely wouldn't be much.  But she had been consistent, at least!
Speaking of which....
Someone who was determined to be an adventurer, even if he just got duties picking mushrooms, was a Hrothgar she was always happy to see.  Regular as ever, she always saw him in line at this time.  While waiting, he was looking to the large postings, reading them and slowly sounding out the words to himself as he did.
“Muto!” Miyu called, jumped, and waved.  Despite her best efforts, it was all for naught.  His full concentration was on trying to sound out “tyrannic coeurl.”
Miyu knit her brows, then knelt down and gave Twitchums a stroke from head to tail.  “Eee!” squeaked the carbuncle.
“Where's Muto?” she asked. Twitchums's tails went up.  “Wheeeeere's Muto?” The carbuncle eagerly looked about, his nose snuffling at a surprising speed.  His tails flicked about wildly as he concentrated, seeking out his quarry, until his eyes locked on the Hrothgar. “There he is!”
Twitchums shot off like a bullet.  He nearly collided with a Lalafell as he went past, snaked through the crowd, and the next thing Muto knew, there was a carbuncle who was so happy it was bordering on gold pawing at his leg.  It took Muto a moment to realize he knew this carbuncle, then broke into a wide smile.
“Oh!! Is Twitchums!!”  He bent down and scooped up Twitchums, who eagerly went to wash Muto's face.  “Are here alone?  Is not good to be alone!  ...wait, is Twitchums here to be adventurer?!” The Hrothgar became incredibly excited.  “Oh!! Muto teach you everything!!”
“Mutooooo!!”
The carbuncle's ears flicked, then wriggled out of Muto's grip and ran back towards Miyu.  The Hrothgar followed his path, then brightened up.
“Is Miyu!! Hello!!”
“Muto!” Miyu called over the din of the crowd.  “Wanna adventure together?”
“Miyu and Muto be party?”
“Yeah!”  She nodded.  “Let's party up!”
“Join Muto!!”
The crowd was thick and unmoving, and prodding a couple Hyur's in fur-trimmed armor to ask to get by only got Miyu dirty looks.  She then eyed a nearby street lamp, shimmied up it, then – at Muto's encouragement – leapt straight for him.  He caught Miyu, and after a bit of shuffling, she crouched perched on his shoulders while holding onto his horn for support.  She could feel the glares of the Hyurs who initially spurned her, and simply playfully swished her tail back and forth at them.
“Next.”
“Hello!” Muto greeted the Elezen representative.
She blinked in surprise at seeing the Miqo'te perched on top of the Hrothgar, but neither of the pair paid it any mind.
“Badges, please.”
Muto passed hers down to Muto, then he placed them onto the counter, smiling brightly to her, hoping his smile could at least pass on to this person.  As it turned out, working customer service did not make the Elezen feel like smiling.
“Okay, two one-stars.  Are you working together?”
“Muto and Miyu make best team!” Muto affirmed.
“Uh huh.  All right, we have plenty of one-star jobs.  If you're interested in working locally, there's a farmer who has had some kobolds spotted near her farm.  It looks like she'd love to have some able-bodied adventurers on hand to scare them off...or permanently deal with them if it comes down to it.  Until they make a move, though, she would love to have some help harvesting her crops.  That will be 200 gil and 50 points towards your next rank.  Sound good?”
Muto perked up, happy to have work at all, completely forgetting what Tahro and Lalinu had said earlier.  “Muto think sounds g—”
“Wait...wait, wait, hold on.” Miyu's tail began to angrily swish.  “You're dealing with two one-stars...and you're giving us farm duty? That should be a zero-star job!  We qualify for at least a two-star.”
The Elezen gave a weary sigh, and in her best customer service voice, she repeated what she had many times before.  “The stars in your rank do not accumulate when doing jobs together.  You can only do jobs at your current rank or below, except in special exceptions.  Those exceptions are when requested specifically by a higher-ranking adventurer or in times of great peril.  Is there a third member to your party who is above you in rank?”  She paused only long enough to see the tell-tale facial expressions that said “no.”  “Then in that case, you'll have to take one of the one- or zero-star jobs, and at the moment, this farm job is the best one I have to offer you. Tuesday jobs are first-come, first-serve.”
“Muto think that sounds gr—”
“Come on!” Miyu pleaded, leaning further down and out, yet somehow keeping her balance.  “Do you know how long we've been working?  How much we've been trying and trying to rank up?  We've been grinding for who knows how long!  Week after week doing these one- and zero-stars, just wanting a chance at a two star!  Just a chance to make an impression, to show how truly amazing we are!  Haven't you ever wanted just a chance?  And here you are, the only person able to give us – us great adventurers with greater promise – that chance we need.  You are the gatekeeper and we are horses, only wanting to get through the doors, wanting to gallop on our way through to the beflowered fields promised to us.  We want to truly spread our wings in the skies of—”
“If I give you a two-star, will you stop the monologue?”
“Yes.”
A paper was shoved towards Muto.
“Next,” she called, looking past the pair.
Muto and Miyu made their way out, looking over the assignment.
“M-mee...” Muto sounded out.  “...meerk...meer-ka-haynt....”
Finally hopping off his shoulders, Miyu leaned into Muto and dragged her finger along the page.  “Merchant seeking protection along road from Gridania to Ul'dah.  See, says here they're departing tonight and are looking for at least two guards.  Well...with you, me, Twitchums, and maybe some friends, I'd say we have this one in the bag!”
A fairy flew by, making tinkling noises and illuminating the page before flying off.
“Muto did not bring bag....” said Muto bashfully, suddenly worried about his bag-less status.
“No, it's...ahh, nevermind.”  Miyu had tried explaining metaphors before, including cracking the joke “I never metaphor I didn't like!”  In response, Muto had given the smile that said he had no idea what Miyu was saying, but he was very happy that she was enjoying herself.  “Either way, we have an actual two-star! Sheesh, trying to give us farm duty, pff, go eat a chode, we're adventurers, not bloody farmers.”
“Muto sometimes get bloody when doing farm work!  Weeds are spiky....”
“That's why you wear gloves, Muto.”
“Muto strong.  What does not kill Muto make three mistakes – not kill Muto, make Muto stronger, make Muto angry!”  He grinned, showing off his teeth, then punched into his palm.  “Muto kill and eat, just to show how tough Muto is! Weeds taste bad, though.  And make tongue bleed.  But Muto show them.”
“Muto, please don't say not killing you is a mistake.”  Miyu rubbed at his arm. “The world would be less without you in it.”
“Oh, Muto not leaving!”  He flexed hard and showed off his bicep.  “Muto too strong for that!  Plus Muto have Miyu!”
“And Enzo?” said another voice.
“Enzo?” Both Muto and Miyu looked over.  The Hrothgar immediately reacted upon seeing the dark-skinned Miqo'te.  “Oh!! Muto have Enzo today!!”
Enzo was leaning against a nearby building with his fairy Eos fluttering near his shoulder.  “Meowdy.”  His cool demeanor was quickly replaced by mild panic as the ground shook and a shadow overtook him. The next moment, he found his feet off the ground and himself in Muto's tight embrace.  “Hrrk!!”
“Enzo, hey!” Miyu greeted him.  “You already go through the line?”
“Hhhhhh...!”
“Muto, let go.”
Muto did.  Enzo took a moment to get air back into his lungs and straightened out his coat.  “Good to see you guys too.  Bit...less tight next time, hey, Muto?”
“Muto sorry.” He grinned brightly, showing off his fangs.  “Just happy to see Enzo!”
“Always mutual.” He flicked an ear, then took a boiled egg out of his pocket.  “Egg?”
“Okay!”  Muto took it and shoved it into his pocket.  “Have later.”
Enzo brought out another.  “You?”
Miyu lowered an ear.  “I'm...fine, thanks.”
Enzo shrugged, then bit into the shell.  “To answer your question, no, I haven't gone through the line.  I don't need to.  Came here to get some help, actually....”
Miyu squinted, suddenly very suspicious.  “You didn't 'need' to go through the line?  What, did you get a job elsewhere?”
“More or less.” He quirked a brow.  “You two interested?”
Muto looked down at the paper in his hands.  His ears went back slightly as he concentrated, trying to decide.
“Well, first off, what kind of job are we looking at here?” asked Miyu.  “This have a ranking?”
“It's...an independent venture.”
That term – sometimes called an IV – was always a bit scary.  Adventurers may come upon a task that needed doing, and instead of going through the paperwork of posting a job and seeking additional adventurers in an officially sanctioned job, they sought to resolve the problems themselves.  Once the IV had finished, it was documented, submitted, and appropriate ranking points were assigned.
While in the past, adventurers had said certain troublesome events were “IVs” to give themselves an excuse, the grand companies quickly put harsh restrictions and punishments into place.  Extremely foolhardy ventures – such as trying to assassinate a foreign dignitary and potentially starting a war – were punished so severely that getting put to death was an option.  Retroactively saying something was an IV as an excuse for causing trouble or damage was severely punished, with it not uncommon to to lose one's adventuring license entirely, or at least a few ranks.  The same punishment went with falsified IVs.
IVs were always a gamble, though.  While the grand companies could at least guarantee payment and ranking points, there was no such guarantee in an IV.  Even if adventurers barely made it out by the skin of their teeth, if they accomplished little or had nothing to show for their time, they would likely get little in regards to advancing their rank.  However, the benefit was that IVs were not limited by rank or the number of adventurers allowed to join, meaning a great amount of money and advancement could be open to anyone.
“Go on...” Miyu said slowly.
“Not just yet. This's a hot job, big reward, and shouldn't be too tough, but I first need to know if you want to join me.”
“Sounds too good to be true.  Where'd you get this?”
“Long story.”
“Shorten it.”
“I've got sources.  Good and reliable ones.”  He reached into his pocket, dug around, then made a face.  He pulled out a white rat, which looked at him with wide, curious eyes, then handed it to Miyu.  “Hold this, would ya?”
“Wh—?”
He then pulled out a rolled-up communique.  “A little chocobo told me about a nearly abandoned facility that's ripe for picking through.”
“'Nearly' abandoned?”  The rat scampered to Miyu's shoulder.
“A couple leftover guards, they're basically just babysitting the place now. Easy pickings.  And you don't have to worry, they're not 'good guys' by any stretch.”
“Mmmmm...”
Enzo motioned with his chin at Muto's paper.  “What rank's that mission?”
“Oh!” Muto held out the paper proudly.  “Is two-star! Miyu is best ne-go-shee-ater!”
Enzo got a lopsided smile, proud of their accomplishment.  “Well look at you!  You're moving up!”
The rat climbed up to Miyu's head, where Eos flitted near to investigate. “We're looking at 700 points for this job.”  Miyu then snorted derisively.  “She was trying to give us something with 50, can you believe that?”
“Yeah.” Enzo shrugged.  “It's kinda unfair to us lowbies like that.”  He took a moment to look between them with a twinkle in his eye. “...but what would you two say to a four-star?”
“...I'm sorry?”
“IS FOUR-STAR?!”
“Shhhh!!” Enzo and Miyu hissed at Muto.
Muto clapped his hands over his mouth, while Miyu recomposed herself. “Okay, this is definitely sounding too good to be true.  How is it a four-star?”
He moved the hand holding the communique, showing the emblem stamped beneath.  “It's Garlean, but don't let that scare you.”
“Don't let that scare me?!  Just the Garlean empire, nothing threatening....” Her sarcasm was interrupted as another thought came to her.  “And what's the pay?”
“A third of whatever we find over there.”
“And what should we expect to find?”
“That's all a bit—”
The unseen hand of Hydaelyn nudged Muto's memory.
Muto gasped and clapped a hand heavily on Miyu's shoulder.  “Oh!! Muto remember!!  Tahro say to get big job!  Or Muto have to stop adventuring!” He shook Miyu, making her head bounce about and dislodged the rat. “Is Muto's big chance!  Show Tahro!  Show Lalinu!  Show queen!  Show the world!”
“M-Muto....”
“Muto help Enzo!”
“But what about our job tonight?”
“Muto know math!” He was excited to share his academics.  “Four is bigger than two!”
“He has a point,” Enzo chimed in.
Miyu looked between the two.  They were both looking at her with wide, expectant faces.  She gave a heavy sigh, then poked a finger into Enzo's chest.  “All right...but we're trusting you!  If this IV is a bust, you're going to be the one to pay the gil, all right?”
“Sure, yeah, that's fine!  Let's say...500 gil if things don't pan out?”
Miyu squinted.  Her shrewdness was kicking in.  She knew she could negotiate for something a great deal higher, but Enzo was a friend...and she was curious exactly what they would find in this Garlean place anyways.
“Deal.”
“And you, Muto?”
“Huh?”  His attention had gone to Eos, hovering above Enzo's head.
“Is 500 gil acceptable?”
“Okay!  Umm....” He held up the paper with the two-star adventure.  “Should Muto share?”
“Oh, that?” Enzo shrugged.  “Yeah, just pass it along to someone else.”  He turned to Miyu.  “So...out in eastern Thanalan, there's this Garlean lab....”
While Enzo explained the job, Muto looked down at the two-star adventure, then to the crowd.  He saw a frustrated Au Ra wandering away from the company building.  It was the telltale sign of a poor adventure...and Muto had the solution.  He wandered away, while Enzo continued his explanation.
~
Its breath was thick, and stank of blood and meat.  Its lip were curled back in a permanent snarl,  showing every single dagger-like tooth, while ichor-like saliva dripped from between them.  Its teeth were literally the subject of horror stories, capable of piercing flesh and bone easily.  Its jaws were powerful enough to crunch all manner of alloyed metal, whether it was armor or the side of an airship. Each claw was like a curved saber, able to rend its prey to pieces with a single swipe.  Its muscles were beyond natural, fueled purely by aether and pure menace.  Its kind had killed countless and would kill countless more.  “Nightmare” was not enough of a description for the beast.  To be seen by one was to already be counted as dead.
“Smoo-thie!”
It was an odd stroke of fate that a behemoth had ended up in the care of Muto.  It was a hassle to care for, but nobody wanted to take it for domestic purposes, Muto refused to give it to those who intended it for battle, and him and Tahro seemed to be the only ones to whom Smoothie seemed to listen.
Pupil-less eyes swiveled onto Muto as he approached, carrying a fresh pig carcass behind him.  Smoothie growled, and even in the warm climate, a cloud of breath could be seen.
“Muto got you nummies!”
He tossed the pig over the top of the cage, where it slipped through the bars before falling.  Smoothie caught it in its jaws, and bit down, causing a small spray of blood against the side of its enclosure.  Muto leaned against the outside of the stall, his tail swishing back and forth contentedly as he watched the behemoth feed.
“Are hungry, neh?  No worries!  Muto off to do big job!  Can get even bigger pig next time!”  He reached through a patted one of the behemoth's horns.  “But am sorry, is in Thanalanalan.  Smoothie is too big to go on airship!”
There was a loud crack of bone and spray of viscera.
“Awww, don't be sad!  Muto is sorry, but will definitely try to take Smoothie on next big mission!  Will try to get one in Gridania!  Muto knows Smoothie likes hunting for deer!”
Smoothie shook its head, flicking droplets of blood across Muto's armor.
“There you go! Now you behave!  Muto loves you!”  He kissed his fingers, then put them to Smoothie's horn, before absently wiping away the blood.
He walked to the neighboring stall where his chocobo was caged.  For some reason, it was always wide-eyed and nervous.
“Hello, Legbird! Time for adventure!”
~
The desert sun was high, but it barely reached them.
The storm had been sudden and filled with rage.  The world was roaring.  Wind violently whipped the sand about, shoving them about as their chocobos struggled onward.  Enzo led the pack, all while keeping his grimoire open, its pages emitting a barely visible light.
Each of them wore caps that had been customized to fit over their cat ears, while goggles protected their eyes and scarves covered their lower faces. The chocobos had been given similar head protection, with glass shielding over their eyes and an insulated covering that went over their beaks.
Enzo held up a hand to halt.  With one hand holding the grimoire open, the other reached into his pocket, then withdrew a scope.  He scanned in the distance, tapped a switch a few times, then grinned to himself.
Turning to the others, he gave a thumbs-up and enthusiastic nod.
~
“You'd think there would've been something in the weather report.”
“What?”
“I said, you'd think there would have been something in the weather report!”
The other man gave a helpless shrug.  He only heard half of what was said, but agreed with the sentiment.  Things had been miserable ever since the main arm of the Garlean empire had pulled out.  Insurgent forces had set up a fantastic base there in Thanalan, which was to be a hub of operations.  However, due to a lack of resources – both material and personnel – and with the staff already there, it instead became a self-sufficient laboratory.
It was a risk having a lightly guarded Garlean base so close to Ul'dah, but it was a calculated risk.  They were able to glean bits of intel regarding Ul'dah to occasionally send back to Garlemald, while the handful of scientists continued their research.
All the while, they held onto hope that the Garlean empire would make a push into central Eorzean lands once again, they would have a seat of power in Thanalan already ready for them, and everyone there could finally return to their lives in Garlemald.
Admittedly, life hadn't been too bad.  It could be boring, even.  The guards took shifts in their camouflaged watch box, nestled under an outcrop of rock that disguised the entrance and gave them shade.  Cooled air piped in from the main facility made even the hottest days pleasant. All the while, the scientists continued working on...whatever it was they did.  Something about crystals...of course.  It was always crystals.
This sandstorm had rattled the guards, though, because their schedules depended upon sandstorms.  Every time there was to be one, a cart would either leave or return with supplies hours before a storm hit, which would then hide the tracks leading to the base.  Sure, someone could follow the cart, but they had had training and tools to help them detect when they were being followed or spied upon.  This system had been working for them for years.  However, the sandstorm predictions had been inaccurate before.  This one, though, was particularly harsh.
One of the guards squinted out through his view port, then turned to his comrade.  “I thought I saw movement!” he shouted over the rush of the storm.
“There's a lot of movement!”  The man smiled.  “It's the sand!”
He just got a flat glare in response.
A Miqo'te stumbled through the sand to the shelter of the overhanging rock.  It wasn't much, but it was at least some kind of shelter.  Her face was bare and grimacing, and she held her hands over her ears to prevent sand from getting in.  She drew close against the wall and tightly pulled her knees to her chest with her eyes closed.
The two guards looked to each other.  This was a problem.  They could wait out the storm and hope she left once it had passed.  However, if she stayed there long enough, she might take notice of the disguised doors.  They had done what they could to keep up maintenance, but years with only what scant supplies they could get from Ul'dah without raising suspicion had left some telltale chipping, uneven edges, and a silhouette if you knew what to look for.
The guards pantomimed to each other about what to do.  One was silently saying they should kill her, while the other one was pleading to leave her alone.  Their silent argument was becoming more heated, until they heard her speaking.
“Please...! Please help...!”
Their hands froze mid-conversation.
Was she talking to them or praying?
A large stone punched through the wall of the watch box, hitting the one guard in the face, rocking his head back and into the wall, where he slid to the floor.
“Witch, you're about to—!”
The remaining guard took up his rifle, wrenched open the door, and ran into a wall of armor and muscle.  Muto picked him up by the face, slammed his head into the rock wall, then let him fall.
Twitchums was low the ground, wearing his own pair of custom goggles.  Flecks of energy came off him, fresh from manipulating the earth.  Miyu walked over and eagerly petted him.  “Good boy...!”  He eagerly twitched his tails, then sneezed, sending out sparks.
Within moments, the sandstorm was gone, revealing Enzo in the midst of it.  He brought up the grimoire, blew off the remaining sand, then clapped it shut. “That's always a fun spell...!”
He opened a pouch, allowing Eos to fly out and perch on his shoulder.  Muto, meanwhile, raised up the goggles and lowered his scarf, then looked to the body at his feet.  “Muto hit harder than meant to....”
“They're bad guys,” Miyu said, doing her best to empty out all the sand that had collected in her robes.  “It's okay.”
“Should Muto kill?”
“Yeah, go ahead,” said Enzo disinterestedly.
“No!” Miyu shot him a glare, then looked up to Muto.  “Only kill if you have to.”
Enzo sighed, looking up.  “You know they're gonna wake up eventually....”
“Yeah, but we don't have to be murderers!  We're better than that!”
“And what would you suggest?”
Miyu thought a moment, then snapped her fingers.  Not even a minute later, thanks to Twitchums manipulating the sand, the two unconscious guards were buried up to their necks in the sand, and thanks to a magic marker, each one bore three whisker marks on their cheeks.
“Perfect!”
“Happy?”
“Very.”
Miyu handed the marker back to Enzo, who put it back in his pocket.  Enzo procured an egg from his pocket, did his best to dust off the sand, then bit into it.  “So inside, there'll likely be a small leftover contingent of guards, but they're not on active duty, so we hit them hard...and after that'll just be the scientists.  We should be able to deal with them.”
“'Deal' how?” asked Miyu, squinting at Enzo.
“Just trust me.”
“No killing.”
“Trust me.”
“Muto trust!” offered Muto.
“Muto trusts me,” repeated Enzo.
“Mmmmm....” Miyu stayed squinting for a long moment, pointed to her eyes, then pointed to Enzo.
“Oh, stop that,” he said, carelessly waving her away and stepping past.  “I'm not a monster.”
“Muto is not monster either!”  He seemed eager to share that bit of information. “Am beast.  Is like monster, but with better manners.”
Going inside the wrecked watch box, Enzo found a keypad.  He unrolled the communique, then tapped in the code.
“Anything complicated?” asked Miyu.
“Just an alphanumeric code,” shrugged Enzo.  “It's literally 'G1234.'”
Hitting the final key, there was a heavy ���ch-chunk” from the outside wall, a hiss, then the rock face slowly slid open, revealing the way inside. The interior was a mix of rock and metal with bright lights evenly spaced along the ceiling, with occasional signs marking the way to various areas.
“You take point, Muto,” instructed Enzo.
“Huh?”
“You stay in the front and protect us,” Miyu clarified.
“Okay!”
Muto unsheathed his axe, Miyu and Enzo opened their grimoires, and slowly they started down the hall.  They froze as they heard approaching footsteps.
“Nar,” came a sleepy grumble, “I swear, if you're coming in to use the can again—”
She emerged from a side door, where her eyes met Muto's.
Muto smiled.
The lady pulled her head back just in time to avoid the axe swinging down.  Se turned and started to run towards a security alcove.  Muto grabbed a hand axe from his belt and lobbed it at the retreating woman's head.  The axe whirled end over end, before it impacted into her head...with the handle.  She stumbled, which was further exacerbated by rising stones.  Twitchums was at Miyu's feet, hunched down, glowing, and growling.
The guard recovered just in time to see a charging Muto bearing down on her, and the last thing she saw was a fist the size of her head flying right at her face.  She was knocked back into a rack where a number of cards were hung, knocking them all to the floor, then fell to the floor herself.
There was a door next to the rack.  The large squad of guards within and the three adventurers saw each other.
“Uhh....” said everyone.
The guards grabbed their rifles and Muto slammed the metal door.  He pressed himself hard against it, while feeling the guards behind it hammering on and slamming into the door.
“Muto cannot hold forever!”  There was the sound of gunfire and divots appearing on the door.  “Muto does not want to get shot!”
Enzo's eyes went to the pile of cards on the floor.  “Help him with the door!” he ordered Miyu.
“Twitchums, go!” Her command sounded in the carbuncle's mind.  Twitchums turned red, a chunk of the bare rock wall came loose, then flew forward to help pin the door in place.
Sifting through the keycards, Enzo found the one he was looking for, slotted it into a nearby console, and his fingers danced across the keys.
Deet. Click-ck.
“There. You two can stop.”  He looked flatly to Miyu.  “And without killing.”
“Thank you,” she chirped.  Twitchums went from red to a light topaz, twitching his tails gleefully.
Enzo rolled his eyes, then began sifting through the pile of cards.  “You know, trying not to kill anyone is going to make going through here that much harder.  We're here to finish a mission, not make friends with literal villains.” He turned his mouth.  “...and how many bloody duplicate cards are there?!”
“Muto wouldn't mind making friends....”  He crouched near the unconscious lady. “Should Muto take her back?”  He started contemplating if it would be easy to add a new friend to the loot they would be taking back.
“Don't,” Enzo said, distractedly, “she probably has diseases.  There!” He was finding card after card with A, B, and D, but only then did he find C.
There was a lot of yelling behind the locked door.  Muto looked to it, then pointed his thumb to it.  “Should Muto open door and quiet them?”
Enzo groaned and started off.  “Come on,” coaxed Miyu, gently taking his wrist and leading him on.
~
As they walked the halls, it was rather obvious the place was unfinished.  Garlemald had sent what supplies they could, but when the supply route had been disrupted, those who were left there made due with what they could. The base had seemingly been integrated into a cave system, and many walls had been left exposed to the rock surfaces beneath.  A surprising number of halls ended up going to dead ends.
It helped with navigation, as construction had prioritized lighting in areas where people worked or traveled.  There were occasional maps posted, though most had been minorly vandalized, both because many of the places on there had never been built, the staff did get bored, and it wasn't like any Garlean officials were there to stop them.
“We're aiming to go...here.”  Enzo pointed to a large circular room.  “This's where their main project should be.”
“Wait, there's a project?” Miyu guffawed.
“Well, yeah.” Enzo raised an eyebrow.  “What, you thought it was just a no-name lab we were going to loot?  Take some cool science equipment, take the Garlean empire down a beg?”
“You didn't specify!”
“You didn't ask.”  Miyu made a strangled noise of frustration, with her tail shooting up behind her in annoyance, while Enzo went on unabated.  “It's a little bit of navigating, as you can see, but that shouldn't be too bad.  Thanks to my friends—”  He fanned out the key cards.  “—it'll be a straight shot through.   Here, though...we'll be passing by the main lab.  We'll likely be dealing with quite a few scientists then.”
“Muto need to deal with?”  He looked between Enzo and Miyu, unsure how he should define “deal with.”
“I've got this,” Enzo said coolly before confidently walking on.  Miyu squinted judgmentally from behind him while Muto looked about wide-eyed.  He'd never been in a secret base before!
Eventually, there was noise ahead.  Enzo looked around the corner, then sighed in frustration.  There were so many more down there than he had anticipated.
“The scientists?” asked Miyu.
“The scientists,” confirmed Enzo.  Miyu crossed her arms in thought, followed by Muto doing the same, imitating her.
“It would be a bad idea if we were to go in with weapons swinging,” Enzo sighed. “They could trigger an alarm or could fight back.  I'm sure there's plenty of Garlean fighting tactics in their heads....”
“Muto fight them all?” offered the Hrothgar.  “Muto is best at fighting!”
“No,” Enzo and Miyu said at the same time.
They stood there together in silence, thinking on how best to proceed.  As they did, Enzo noted Eos floating past his vision.
“Hmmm....”
Miyu was looking down at her feet and saw Twitchums staring up inquisitively at her.
“Hmmm....”
Muto looked between his companions, confused.
“Hmmm?”
~
It was an average day for the Garlean scientists.  They had several crystals hooked up to various electrodes, screens with graphs, and nearly incalculable amounts of data pouring through their system.  It was entirely normal.  Almost boring.
“WHY IS THAT IN HERE?!”
And then there was a fairy riding a carbuncle through the lab.
Twitchums burst through the door, running as hard as he could, while Eos did her best to steer him.  They specifically darted between and near people's legs, leaving a trail of chaos.  Under chairs, over tables, through carefully calibrated equipment.  One scientist went to bar their way, but Twitchums jumped on his face, then springboarded over a handful of others behind him.
Twitchums was having the time of his life.
Eos looked bored.
While the scientists had been going about their business in labs and walking in the halls, they were now clustering together, trying to capture this wild animal.  People were crowding into the lab, aiming to block the doors or to help catch the carbuncle.
Eos piloted Twitchums for the door, and with a kick of her heels, urged him to ride as hard as he could.
“Ready?” someone asked.  They had a labcoat spread out, ready to use as a makeshift net.  Twitchums and Eos drew closer, and they weren't stopping.
“Now!”
There was a fierce roar behind them.  They stumbled and turned back to see a Hrothgar towering over them, fangs bared, eyes fierce, and axe in hand. Twitchums jumped over the startled scientists onto Muto's shoulder. Looking to the crowd of people, he twitched his tails in satisfaction.
Deet.
The fire shutters slammed down across all windows and doors, trapping all the scientists within the lab.
Enzo shoved the keycard in his pocket, withdrew another hardboiled egg, then popped it entirely in his mouth.  “Tha' wash ee-ee....”
“Twitchums, you were so good!” Miyu cooed, walking over to him perched atop Muto's shoulder.  Eos took flight, dutifully resuming her place by Enzo's side.  Twitchums hopped down from Muto's shoulder to Miyu's awaiting arms, then eagerly licked her face.  Enzo, meanwhile, nodded to Eos and she nodded back.
After that, it was no problem continuing through the facility.  Behind the fire shutters, the trio could hear the trapped scientists banging and shouting.  Twitchums walked alongside Miyu with a proud step, satisfied with the chaos he had caused, while Eos hovered along stoically.  Muto followed along, though occasionally stopping and pressing his ear against one of the shutters.
At one point, he pulled back his fist, about to bang back, but Miyu caught his arm and lead him on.  “Leave them alone for now,” she gently goaded.
Cables and general wiring grew more and more condensed as they continued along the hall. Enzo's pace picked up as they grew closer.
“You never told us about what we're specifically trying to find....”
“It's condensed aether,” Enzo casually said.  “Pooled and experimented on. Basically, a certain crystal.  All I want from here is that, and literally everything else here can be yours.”
“Ohhhhh...!” Muto's eyes were wide.  “Muto get secret base...!”
“Probably...not,” Miyu corrected.  “Ul'dah is more than likely to come down hard on this place.  This is in their jurisdiction and is a matter of national security, so they'll likely have their army take it over and conduct a thorough investigation.”  She quirked a smile.  “However, before they get here, there's nothing saying that if it's not nailed down, you can't take it...!”
“It's mostly rivets here anyways...” Enzo observed.
“Muto get so much stuff...!”
The hallway wound around, until they arrived at a heavy industrial door with a console to the side.  Above the door in large, block letters was “INCUBATION CHAMBER.”
“In...in...innnnkoooo....”
“What...form is your aether?” Miyu asked hesitantly.
Enzo slid the D card through the console, his fingers danced across the keys, and the door hissed open, followed by two more doors.
The chamber within was enormous.  It was a large concrete dome.  The floor of the chamber was almost entirely sand, with raised platforms going around the perimeter and a walkway leading straight into the middle.
“There we are....” Enzo said, smiling to himself, confidently walking in and starting down the central walkway.
“Enzo, what's going on?” Miyu demanded.
“Just here for the aether is all.”
At the end of the walkway in the center of the chamber was something organic.  As they drew closer, they found it was...a creature.  It was short, fat, large, and fleshy.  It was reminiscent of a large brown toad, in that it's head seemed to take up most of its body.  In fact, the party wasn't sure where its arms and legs were.  It had brown skin, four deformed horns that wound about in random directions, and large bulbous eyes that stared in different directions.  It looked incredibly dumb.
“Hack!” it noised.
“What...is that?”
“Hack!”
“A massive repository of experimental aether,” Enzo said matter-of-factly. “Drawing upon the streams deep within the planet, they twisted and gave the energy form, and it's what you see here.”
“They created a creature?” Miyu leaned over, trying not to step on the sand.
“In a sense.”
“Hack!”
Twitchums leaned in and sniffed eagerly at the thing, nose to nose.  One eye briefly looked to the carbuncle, then back to staring at nothing in particular.
“Wait....” Miyu squinted at him.  “You want us to take this thing with us?  It's huge!  And, y'know, alive!”
“Oh, that won't be a problem.”  Enzo motioned to the creature.  “Muto, please kill it.”
“Okay!” Muto eagerly agreed.
“What?!” Miyu protested.  “No, don't!”
“Okay!” Muto eagerly agreed.
Enzo sighed, then turned to Miyu.  “I can tell you for a fact it's in pain.  It's not sentient, it's not a person, it's a thing that would be best for everyone if we were to end it here.”
“How do you know—?”
“You'll do no such thing!” came a voice over the speaker system.
The three immediately readied their weapons and looked around.
“Up here...up here...!”
“Oh!” Muto eagerly pointed to an observation room high up with large windows.  Inside was a tall Roegadyn lady in a lab coat speaking into a wall-mounted microphone.  Muto happily waved to her.
“What you're doing here is wrong,” Enzo shouted at her.
“Who are you to decide what is right and wrong?” the lady snarled.  “We gave PP0 life only technically speaking.  It has no idea what it is, nor does it care.  It knows nothing, feels nothing, except what we tell it to.  Sentient thought is beyond us to create anyways...which works out well for you bleeding heart types, doesn't it.”
“PP0?” Miyu asked Enzo.
“Oh...wait, you don't even know what it is?!”
“Not...exactly,” Miyu responded.
“Well!” The scientist paused, then hit a few keys on the nearby console. The multiple doors at the entrance slammed shut.  “In that case, I need to tell you! It's really exciting!  We haven't had visitors in years, so this is actually pretty nice to get to see somebody new for once!”
Enzo glared flatly at the Roegadyn, then sighed to himself.  He gestured for Miyu and Muto to come with him, then hopped off walkway to the sand and started towards a door at the opposite end of the room, presumably which led up to the Roegadyn.
“See, we were kinda stuck here, since Garlemald kinda got cut off from us, and we're all, 'What do we do?'  But then we found that with our set-up, we could hypothetically infuse aether energy from our reactor into something! Wasn't tough at all! So at that point, it's like, 'What can't we do, y'know?' Well...I mean, not much, we're all stuck here, but then, then we get this super cool idea, right? And we sent out a secret communique back to the empire asking for this one thing, and we didn't think they were going to, but they did!”
They got to the walkway in front of the door, then Enzo swiped a cardkey through the console.  He blinked when the display came up with the error “INCORRECT CLEARANCE.”  Confused, he tried again.  That was supposed to be the maximum clearance card.
“Things...okay?” Miyu asked.
Enzo just furrowed his brow and tried another card.  INCORRECT CLEARANCE.
“I mean, it took awhile, but they delivered it, and we were super excited!  A scale from Bahamut!  Like, who'd have thought, right? But, I mean, doing genetic stuff with Bahamut isn't anything new, but now we get to!”
Miyu's eyes went wide.  “Wait...Bahamut?!”
While Muto didn't entirely understand everything going on, he understood at least that. “Uh oh....”
INCORRECT CLEARANCE.
“So we have some cloning technology, which was kinda-sorta based off the Allagan process, and, c'mon, that stuff is ancient, and we only kinda-sorta understand it, but we were able to modify it and use the modified aether to infuse into Personal Project 0 – or PP0 – and that's where its nickname came from – and I know it's not the best acronym, but Garlemald isn't exactly here watching over our shoulders for the best naming conventions – but I guess he also has those giant peepers – but anyways—”
A small pile was forming at Enzo's feet.  There were a few suspiciously large money pouches, three full-sized books, a collapsible staff, a surprising number of keys, a melon, three cartons of boiled eggs, a light back-up robe, a few squirming malboro hatchlings, several keycards, a unicolt figurine, a wind-up soldier, and a few flowers with attached tags labeled “Corpse.”
“WHERE'S THE BLOODY KEY?!” he snarled.
~
The guards continued banging on the door of their barracks, hollering for help, shouting threats, and making noises of utter frustration.
In front of the door was the pile of keycards.  Towards the bottom was a key labeled “E.”
~
“—but anyways, it was nice to have visitors, but it's kiiiiiinda our policy that intruders aren't allowed to leave, or at least leave alive, and PP0 has never had proper combat testing, so this is probably where you're going to die. I'm sorry, but not really, but also am.”
She tapped a few keys and the entire room began to hum.  Moments later, the sand began to bubble.  Large amounts of air were getting pumped in beneath the sand, causing it to go from being a settled, solid mass to a liquid. Muto had been standing in the stand, quickly began sinking, then jumped up to the walkway.
His axe was immediately readied.  “No worries!” he said with an eager swish of his tail.  “Miyu and Enzo are safe!  Muto protect you all!”
What they thought had been a whole creature ended up being only its head.  It began to raise, attached to a long neck.  Massive claws burst through the sand, struggling to raise up its large body in full.  The tips of the wings were visible next, with one wing much smaller than the other. Thick cables emerged from the sand as well, plugged into the creature's arms and back.  The dragon's proportions were all wrong, with some muscles incredibly large, while others were noticeably underdeveloped.  Once it had climbed to the top and its body was fully visible, the sand stopped bubbling.  The artificial dragon stood nearly as tall as the dome.
The three stood there wide-eyed, ears lowered, and with bushed tails jetting out from behind them.  Twitchums had gone from growling and being a deep red to whimpering and turning white.
“Muto...maybe not able to protect...from that.”
Without the body moving, the head spun around on its neck to look down at the adventurers.  Its body then slowly lumbered around to face them. Energy flowed through the cables and its bulbous eyes went red.
“Behold!” the scientist bellowed into her microphone.  “PEEPO!!”
“HAAAAAAAHCK!!!” it roared, then blinked an eye.
“Mew...!” mewed Miyu.
“This could get messy, so if you'll excuse me.”  A fire shutter slammed in front of the large window.  A few cameras positioned around the room blinked to life.  “Make sure to have good deaths.   This is all getting recorded for our records! PEEPO, KILL!”
“MOVE!!”
Peepo's neck glowed before letting forth a jet of flame.  The group scattered, feeling the white-hot heat on their backs.  The wall where the flames had hit had partially melted the metal and crystallized the scattered sand.
“I can't believe we're about to get killed by something so stupid-looking!” Miyu yelled in aggravation.
“If you had just let Muto kill it, we wouldn't be here!” Enzo snapped.
“Whatever Muto did, Muto sorryyyyyy!” Muto wailed.
They were running across the sand for the exit door.  The exit may have been blocked by several locked doors, but with Enzo's keycards, they could at least escape.
Muto gasped.  “DOWN, NOW!!” He palmed the backs of Miyu and Enzo's heads, then fell forward, making them faceplant into the sand.  Peepo's tail whooshed just over them, then impacted heavily into the wall.  Enzo rubbed the sand out of his eyes, then his ears went limp.  The console in the wall near the door had been destroyed.
“It's him or us right now,” Miyu sighed defeatedly.  She looked back up to Peepo and whined to herself.  She always hated fighting dragons.  Twitchums pressed himself up against Miyu's side, both for comfort and seeking instruction.
“Muto choose us!”
Muto got to his feet, axe in hand, then charged Peepo.
“Muto, wait!” Miyu looked agog to the Hrothgar, then to Enzo.  “Does he seriously think he can beat that thing?!”
“Maybe....” Enzo took in the room.  “...but more importantly, he's keeping its attention off us.”
“HRAAAAAAA!!”
Muto rolled out of the way as Peepo went to smash down with its claws.  Muto swung down, his axe biting in deeply in the back of Peepo's hand.  In return, the artificial dragon's neck glowed again, then spewed down fire at Muto. The Hrothgar knew the creature had limited mobility when using its breath weapon and darted for Peepo's legs.  The stream of fire followed him, until it started to cook Peepo's feet.  Being right by the artifical dragon's backside, Muto swung back and took a couple hacks at Peepo's tail.  In response, the dragon went to heavily sit down, aiming to crush Muto.
Sand was tossed up and hung in the air briefly.  Silence had descended upon the cavern...until a fierce battle cry pierced the din and Peepo bucked. Muto had climbed several cables and was hacking at its back.
Enzo stood with Miyu, Twitchums, and Eos against the wall watching the fight ensue.
“Kinda impressive...” he mused.
“That's what you're thinking during all this?!” Miyu snapped.
Peepo flapped its mismatched wings desperately, trying to dislodge the attacker.  It craned its neck to see and possibly bite Muto, but couldn't quite reach.  It finally settled with launching itself back and slamming its back into the wall of the dome.  The room shook violently, with dust falling from the ceiling.
“Muto!”  Enzo called.  “Are you alive still?”
Peepo did not seem in distress anymore, and was repositioning itself to try and get a better view of what happened to Muto.
“Enzo, Muto hurt!” the Hrothgar called.  “Muto...really hurt!”
“Go.”  Eos flew.
The Hrothgar was lying in the sand, with his leg badly damaged.  His axe was just out of reach and he looked terrified.  Peepo, meanwhile, was waiting for the dust and sand in the air to settle, trying to spy Muto.
Eos found Muto, then flew in front of his face.
“Mmm?”
Eos slapped Muto across the face.  It was a tiny fairy, but she hit hard.
“Ow!”  He rubbed his face.  “Was mean!”
“Are you still hurt bad?” called Enzo.
“Huh?”  He looked down.  Any blood and damage to his leg was now gone.  Eos had channeled her healing energy when she had made contact.  “Ohhhh....”
“Keep fighting him!” Enzo called.
“Okay!”
“And don't die!” Miyu added.
“Okay!”
He grabbed his axe and rolled out of the way as another jet of flame scorched the sands.
“Its aethereal energy is too complex to hold steady on its own,” Enzo said, rubbing his chin.  “So the cables—”
“Attack the cables?” Miyu interrupted.
“Go for the connection ports.”
As Muto and Peepo battled, they could see that when it had rammed itself against the wall, several ports had been damaged and cables had fallen away. They briefly spewed aethereal mist before the emergency shut-offs initiated.  While the cables had been heavily insulated to keep in the aether, the ends were less so to allow for flexibility and movement.
“Get 'im, Twitchums!”
The carbuncle, while still scared, was bolstered by Miyu's command.  It gave a fearsome squeak before launching itself forward.  Sand began to gather in the air, hovering next to him, and coalescing into crude spears.
Muto was flung across the room and hit the wall hard enough to leave a crater in the concrete before falling to the sand.  He lied there groaning, bones shattered, life leaving him.
Eos flew over and kicked him.
Healed, Muto grabbed up his axe and charged again at Peepo.
Twitchums drew upon Peepo.  It was so, so much bigger than expected.  Miyu's voice directing him in his mind steeled his courage and pushed him on. With the artificial dragon's attention on Muto, Twitchums had a clear shot along Peepo's arm.  The sand spears launched forward.  Several missed, impaling into Peepo's arm, but a few hit home.  Cables came lose, briefly spewing aethereal mist, before stopping.
Peepo's head swiveled to look to Twitchums before a thrown hand axe hit it in the face.
“NO!” Muto scolded.  “Fight Muto!”
“HAAAAAAAHCK!!”
“Stop! STOP!!” pleaded the voice over the speaker system.  “You don't know what you're doing!”
“We're winning,” Enzo observed with a smirk.
“No, you don't understand!” The Roegadyn was in a panic.  “This is years' worth of research and experimentation! You'll destroy everything! And if you—”
Muto was airborne and Peepo plunged its hand at him.  The Hrothgar just barely missed it.  The artificial dragon's sword-like claws thrusted deeply into the concrete dome.  Unsure if it had grabbed him, Peepo squeezed, then yanked back, ripping out a huge boulder of concrete and wiring. The room's speakers went immediately silent, all camera lights dimmed, and the lights about the room began to flicker.
“Hit it faster!” Enzo instructed.  “Burn it down!”
Twitchum heard Miyu's command in its mind, and gave a mighty squeak.  Sandstone spears materialized and flew in violent waves at Peepo's back.  The creature's attention was divided between what was happening behind it and the very loud and angry Hrothgar.  Peepo's actions were also becoming more and more sluggish, as less aether was pumped into it.
A jet of flame followed Muto as he charged directly for Peepo.  He was barely staying ahead of it.
“Muto also have flame!” Muto roared.  “Flame is inside!”
Cable after cable was severed from Peepo's back.
“Flame is Muto!”
He jumped.
“Flame is friends!”
The final cable was severed.
“Flame is hotter than dragon's!”
His axe went straight into Peepo's chest.  The artificial dragon stood there stunned and wobbling as the last of its aether had dissipated. Muto's axe was lodged deeply in Peepo and refused to come out.  Muto took the opportunity to push his feet off the creature's chest, pivot off his axe handle, and launch himself upwards.  He reared back his fist and uppercutted Peepo in the chin.
The artificial dragon dissipated into aethereal mist.  A moment later, Muto's axe hit the sand, followed by Muto, landing in a crouch.  He stood to his full height, thumped his chest, then gave a bestial roar of victory.
“MUTO!!” he announced.  “WIN!!”
As the echo died down, Enzo muttered, “It was technically Twitchums who killed the thing....”
“Shhh,” Miyu whispered back.  “Let him have this....”
Enzo's attention went to the aethereal mist.  He squinted, waiting for it to start...and there it was.  It all began to come together to form a crystal.
...and then the lights went out.
“Ehh?”  Miyu looked around.  “Twitchums!  Light!”
The carbuncle's forehead gem lit up.  It was in the middle of the room, looking around confusedly.
“Everyone okay?”
“Muto is fine!” announced Muto, somewhere in the darkness.  “Muto and friends have great victory!  Oh!!  So many stars!!  Muto and friends level up for sure!”
The dome lit up in red.
Enzo was crouched in the middle, holding a crystal.  Miyu was against the back wall. Muto was on his hands and knees, looking in the sand for a trophy from the fight.
“That...can't be good,” muttered Enzo before shoving the crystal into his pocket. Miyu found herself wondering exactly how he had so much space in that pocket.
“AETHEREAL OVERLOAD,” came an announcement outside the room.  “UNABLE TO CONTAIN.  200 SECONDS UNTIL MELTDOWN.”
Something that many of the base's workers had feared was that many basic safety features had never been implemented into the base's hasty construction.  For example, there was the matter of being unable to access overrides for locked doors and fire shutters from within the affected rooms. Another big issue was that of the base's power.  Since the aether was not being pumped into the PP0 project anymore, it was instead getting pumped in massive quantities back into the reactor.  It couldn't handle it...and there was no way to either stop the flow of aether or shut down the reactor.
“Uhhhhhh....”
The exit doors made a noise, then despite being damaged, partially opened.  It was big enough for all of them to get through, if barely.  At least it had been built in the emergency systems that in the event of a catastrophic failure, everything would be automatically opened.
“GO GO GO GO!!” shrieked Enzo, making a mad dash for the exit.
All of them ran across the sand, kicking up clouds behind them.  Enzo, Miyu, Eos, and Twitchums had no problem getting through the gap.  Muto threw his axe through first, then went to squeeze past...and became stuck.  He struggled, but barely budged.  Instead of fear, he looked confused.
“Is Muto getting fat?”
Enzo had been running ahead, but stopped to run back.  He and Miyu grabbed Muto's wrist, and pulling together, got him dislodged.
“120...119...118,” counted the speakers.
Down the halls they ran, with Miyu glaring at Enzo.  “You have so much explaining to do,” she demanded.
“I didn't know this would happen!” Enzo insisted.  “In case you haven't noticed, I'm also fleeing for my life!”
“You're paying us double!” Miyu snapped.  “If I die, it'll be triple!”
“Oh!!” Muto had a revelation.  “Loot!!”
“Please, Muto, now is not the time for—”
He skidded to a halt in front of a computer console.
“No, leave it alo—!”
He grabbed the sides, groaned, and pulled.  Nothing happened...then with a terrible shriek of protest, the metal ripped from the wall.  He held the console over his head and started running again.  “Okay, Muto good!”
“70...69...68....”
Down the halls they ran.  Emergency lights pointed the proper directions to the exit. They passed the labs, which were now empty, as the shutters had retracted and the scientists had escaped.  A few tried to remain behind to rescue their data, but others had pulled them along, telling them their lives were worth more.
The halls wound round, until they could see daylight ahead, blocked partially by the last remnants of fleeing scientists.  “There!  There!” Miyu eagerly pointed forward.  “We're gonna make it!”
“15...14...13....”
“It's them!!”
Some scientists stopped, considering trying to fight them off in revenge for ruining all their research.  However, the prospect of remaining in an exploding base urged them to quickly leave.
Catching up with the scientists, the crowd fanned out into the Thanalan desert.
“4.”
People were running as hard as they could.
“3.”
They couldn't put enough space between themselves and the base.
“2.”
There was no shelter.
“1.”
Sand dunes were the best they could find.
“MELTDOWN COMMENCING.”
There were screams. Some dove for the ground and covered their heads.  This would be huge.
...
And then nothing happened.
What was to be anxiety and fear for their lives turned into confusion, then frustration.  There wasn't going to be an explosion.  The countdown system had been implemented, but must have been faulty.  There was no danger.  And it was a bit too perfect for there to have been a countdown with a round number like 200 seconds.  Everyone was safe.
And then all attention drew focused on the small party of adventurers in the middle of all of them.  Muto was still holding the ripped-out computer console above his head.  Then there came the noise of several rifles cocking.
Miyu nervously laughed, “Eh heh...!” then raised her hands.
Enzo, meanwhile, squinted at everyone.  A dark expression came over his features.
Miyu elbowed him, then hissed, “Do you wanna die today?  Put them up...!”
“No....”
“Muto's hands are up!” declared Muto cheerfully, still not putting down the console.
“Do you have any idea...” said a guard approaching them, gun pointed at them, “...what you have done?”  His cheeks still had the drawn-on whiskers.
“To be fair,” Miyu squeaked, “we were kinda hired to?  I-it was nothing personal?”
“Ready!”
Rifles were raised, safeties were removed.
SHOOM!!
A mushroom of fire erupted from the base, shooting debris and sand into the day sky, blocking out the sun.  A visible shockwave went out, kicking up sand and knocking a number of people over.  There was a climbing roar, which was then followed by an explosion of blue flame that erupted from the base's entrance.
Chaos had taken control of the crowd once again, before everyone had calmed once again.
“Wait...where—?”
“Buh-bye!”  Muto was up on his chocobo, alongside the others on theirs.  The console had been awkwardly shoved into the chocobo's pouch.
Enzo looked over the group and gave a smirk.  Not saying another word, he put on his goggles, pulled the reins, and headed off into the desert.
“You can fake your own deaths here if you want!” Miyu said with a wave.  “Start new lives!”
“Wait!!”
They didn't stop.  The chocobos were running.  Moments later, Enzo began the spell to again create a sandstorm.  Their tracks would be covered and hopefully, they would never see anyone from the base ever again.
Silence descended over the base's staff.
“I forgot my Triple Triad deck in there...” lamented a guard.
~
Standing in Ul'dah at the airship station, they gathered around their pilfered crystal.  The sky was darkening, as the sun was just disappearing behind the horizon.
“So in the end...it wasn't anything special,” lamented Enzo.
“It's just a normal fire crystal?!” groaned Miyu.
“Ehhhhh...yee-eahhhhhhh....”
“Anything special about it?” she demanded.
“I mean...it might have a bit more of aethereal concentration?” shrugged Enzo.  He passed over his scope.  “But if you look at the aethereal mapping on it, there's literally nothing out of the ordinary.  You could find this in anything.”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said,” he grumbled in aggravation, “but despite them altering the aether they were pumping into...that thing...it ended up having absolutely no effect on the crystal it left behind.”  He wiped his face frustratedly, then pushed the crystal away.  “Honestly, you two can keep it and turn it into the grand company, have more 'proof' of this whole misadventure.  Put it right beside that console Muto grabbed.”
“Thank you, Enzo,” Miyu said quietly.  “But you really don't have to.”
“I'm going to,” he insisted, “and I'm going to pay you too. Just as agreed.”  He rolled his eyes.  “Though...that might take a bit.  All my money was kinda left in the base....”
“Take whatever time you need, all right?”  Miyu gave a consoling smile.  “I'm sorry this all happened like it did, but we...made some kind of difference, right?  And this should get us some advancement, at least!  I mean, once we document it all.  Right, Muto?”
They both looked up to the Hrothgar, who was standing with the biggest smile on his face.
“Why're you so happy?” asked Enzo.
“Muto go on adventure with bestest friends!” declared Muto, barely able to contain his glee.  “Muto and friends fight bad guys!  Muto and friends defeat dragon! Muto and friends—”  He made an enthusiastic explosion noise. “—blow up secret base! Muto and friends real adventurers!  Real heroes!”
Enzo, despite his disappointment, smiled.  “Well...I'm glad you guys had such a great time.  Sorry you missed out on your other mission.”
“Is okay!” Muto said with a bright smile.  “Muto helped Au Ra!  Muto help community!  Oh!” He remembered something incredibly important.  “Muto now can have egg!”  The hard-boiled egg Enzo gave him hours ago had been sitting in his pocket the entire adventure...and was likely destroyed, but that didn't stop Muto's enthusiasm.  He reached in, then looked confused.  Grabbing a hold, he pulled out a wadded piece of paper.
~
While Enzo explained the job, Muto looked down at the two-star adventure.  If they were doing something else, then it would be a waste to hold onto it.  He saw a frustrated Au Ra wandering away from the building.  It was the telltale sign of a poor adventure...and Muto had the solution.  He wandered away, while Enzo continued his explanation.
“Are okay?” asked Muto.
“Ehhhh....”  She shrugged.  “My fifth week in a row with a zero-star.”
“What is rank?”
“I'm almost to my first level,” she shrugged, “which kinda is awful, because I was doing adventuring for years before. Just...it never got documented and there's such a backlog with level appeals.”
“Oh!”  Muto held out the paper with the two-star adventure. “Muto have solution!  Au Ra friend can have adventure!  Is two-star!”
She blinked, taken aback.  “Wait...really?”
“Uh huh!”
“You're sure?”
“Uh huh!”
“Because I know how hard it can be to get these kinds of missions if you're not leveled up...a-and if you don't want to, you really don't have to, it's okay!  I mean, of course I want the mission, but it's fine if you'd rather not—”
“Muto!” called Miyu.  “We're leaving!”
“Oh!!  Coming!!”  He absently shoved the mission in his pocket, then ran after the others, leaving a confused Au Ra behind.
“Umm....”
~
“Muto...have mission.”
“I'm sorry?” asked Miyu.
“Muto still have mission.”
“You what?”
“Muto still have two-star mission.”
“You what?”
“Muto not mean to!”  He held out the paper, crumpled up, covered in smashed hard-boiled egg and eggshell shards.  “Was accident!”
“That's—!”
“Muto screw up again?!”  He looked absolutely terrified.
“No, no!” soothed Miyu.  “It's okay!  Just—”
“Where is the mission again?” asked Enzo.
“Ummmm!!”  He opened the paper and did his best to read. “Um...um—”
“Gridania!” cut in Miyu.
“Do you have everything you need?”
“I think so?”
“Are you sure?”
“Um, yeah, sure!  Wh—?”
He shoved the fire crystal towards Miyu, who took it confusedly. Enzo's grimoire was thrown open.  He channeled his magic, then uttered the words, “Oovoo javer!”
Space folded around Miyu and Muto, and not even a moment later, Enzo was there on his own at the table.
They were only a little late.  Not even twenty minutes later, the two adventurers were on the merchant's carriage with Muto blowing a melody into a bone flute, serenading his companions and the darkening sky.  The mission was only beginning.
~
It was utterly still and dark.  There wasn't a single noise in the house.  It wasn't because it was abandoned, but because he chose for his footsteps to be silent.
A light source was approaching, illuminating the neighboring room. Instead of trying to hide from it, Enzo waited and crossed his arms confidently.
A young dark-skinned lady entered the room holding a lit lantern. She saw Enzo, then deeply frowned.
“Thanks for letting me know you're home...” grumbled Emory. “Where were you?”
“Oh, out,” Enzo shrugged.  “Nothing big.”
Emory scowled at him.  “I know that look.  What did you do?”  She sighed with frustration.  “Who did you kill?”
He put up his hands, palms out.  “Nobody this time!”
“Don't you lie to me!  How many was it?”
“Seriously, Em, it's not actually not a lie!”  He gave a wide grin.  His teeth were pointier than they had been earlier.  “You should tell your brother what a good boy he's been!”
“Oh, shove it...” she grumbled.  “What did you do?”
“Wanna see something amazing?”
She just raised an eyebrow.
He reached into his pocket, where he had a small portal to the Void, and withdrew a crystal, then set it on the nearby table.  It glowed a dull red and was lined with veins.  Emory looked at it, and moments later, recoiled.  The shadows cast behind her from the lantern twisted for a moment before resuming that of a normal lady.
“What did you do, Enzo?” she snapped.  “What is this?!”
“Aether!”  His grin widened.  “Can't you tell?”
“You know exactly what I'm talking about!” she snarled.
“Oh, come on, Em!”  He nudged the crystal, making it spin in place.  “Just a little crystallized aether!”
He noted the shadows behind her were growing and darkening.  Spiky protrusions were twisting and forming in the dark.
“Fine, fine,” he lamented.  He flicked the crystal to spin it the opposite way.  “So I have to say the people of this plane can be absolutely brilliant and incredibly stupid.  They had no idea what they had.  They were taking aether from the planet and corrupting it.  Corrupted aether is nothing new, sure, but the way they were doing it was...certainly unique.  They absolutely ruined it, depriving it of being aspected, while maintaining the energy and refusing to adapt to any other aspect.  And then they channeled it through a remnant of Bahamut, who was able to amplify it so much more than I thought possible.  Even with just one of his scales.”
“How'd you get it?”
“Ohhhh, you know....”  His tail flicked playfully.
“Do not make me ask again.”  Emory glared.  “Or I will make you tell me.”
“My friends just helped me get into a Garlean base is all!”
“We don't have 'friends,'” she stated flatly.
“I like to think Miyu and Muto are.”  He received a withering glare from Emory.  “Oh, come on, I don't consider them as equals! They're just useful!  Entertaining too.”
He picked up the crystal and turned it about, so that both he and Emory could get a better look at it.
“Anyways, I don't entirely understand everything those mortals did to the crystal, but long story short, they basically created something that is outside the six elements.  And I'm not even talking about unaspected aether.  I'm talking about technically a seventh element....”  His smirk grew wider.  “...which should provide for some interesting possibilities.”
“Do whatever you want with it,” grumbled Emory.  “Just keep that thing away from me.”
“Oh, this thing?”  He held it out just a hair more.
Emory glowered at him, then turned and left in a huff, leaving the room.  It was pitch-black in the room once again...save for a glowing pair of red eyes.
~
Thanalan Desert.
“I have a suspicion...” murmured the gentleman to himself.
“What kind of suspicion?” asked an eager Miqo'te.
“I believe....”  Hildibrand suddenly gave a wide sweep with his arm.  “...that there was an explosion.”
The two of them were standing at the bottom of a crater, surrounded by debris.
“And where there are explosions, there are crimes.”
“What about Bahamut?”
A finger was thrust into the sky.  “He is the greatest criminal of them all!”
Some of the debris moved.  The finger was lowered and pointed to it.
“A clue!” both of them said together.
A hand eventually came forth from under the rubble, followed by a ragged sleeve.
“Nashu!”
“Yes, sir!”
“We must assist!”
They crouched next to the hand and pulled away concrete, stones, and all manner of debris.  A Roegadyn lady in a torn white lab coat lied underneath.
“Who...?” she croaked.  “What...?”
“My lady, you have stumbled into the authorities!”
“We have authority?” asked Nashu.
“Absolutely!  All of Eorzea is ours to patrol and to bring justice to!  And you, my lady!”  He dramatically pointed down to the scientist.
She just stared blankly at him.
He knelt next to her, then reached for her hand.  “...are most obviously the victim of a terrible, terrible crime. Pray, tell me...who did this to you?”
The Roegadyn looked at him blankly as her thoughts started to come together.  What were the names the Hrothgar said?
“Muto,” she finally managed.  “Muto, Miyu, and Enzo.”
Click!
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