#mustn't push myself

[ajaneofmanytalents]

I just woke up from a dream where I was wandering around (what my sub-conscious labelled as) the uni campus I used to attend. There was no anxiety, no panic, no "shit I forgot I had a test and I didn't study!!!"; only happy nostalgia. It was very pleasant and it left a smile on my face.

Is this what it feels like to be healing from burnout?

[sgiandubh]

Despair, much?

Hey, Moo,

I see you are back at your old shenanigans, again.

Like this Anon you have sent yourself. Or your Evil Twin did:

Unlike many of you, Antis, I have never pretended to be online someone I am not in real life. Warts and all.

Marriage and kids wise, Moo, what can I say: you live in a glass house, girl. Maybe writing and/or publishing that stone-throwing Anon was not the smartest move. You are single and have no children either, correct?

You should have chosen decency. It eluded you, again.

"Never wanting children", your Anon said? How dare you discuss that, punks? I have never said that. In fact, I very quickly made myself very clear on that point, back in June 2023 (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/720850834949373952/conundrum):

Now, quick: you, or your Derailed Lying Savant, go look for endometriosis on Google. See what you find. And think deep and hard about discussing someone else's life choices. Someone else you never met and never will. Someone whose struggle with it you have not the slightest idea about. This is not only tasteless: this is cruel.

I have never mentioned your own health struggles, Moo. I am a decent person and I dislike intensely stigmatizing people, like that. We all know they exist, though. It mustn't be easy, dealing with them on a daily basis. Perhaps one day you will find the light within yourself, again. Who knows.

You have chosen to make this a personal problem and that is your choice as far as I am concerned, Moo. Giving you more space on this page would mean I do consider you a person, though. Such a mistake. Never again.

PS: it's not other shippers I treat with despise. It's the Fencers and the odd person pushing things a bit too far, especially when religion is concerned. Your Anon knows that very well. Since when is duplicity a virtue, Moo?

[cringelordofchaos]

random craig tucker headcanons

has level 1 low support needs autism

gay (not a hc bt whaever.)

special interest is star trek and space in general

watching red racer every day is a routine he mustn't under almost any imaginable circumstance break

got some peruvian ancestry (from which parent's side? heck if i know) + knows a bittt of spanish

his family mostly goes without saying a word to each other during meals

when hes waiting outside the counselor's office for flipping off someone again he sits and either thinks about space or looks at images of stripe on his phone to ease any tension that migth be there

barely ever smiles except when stripe, space or tweek exist

closer to thomas than to laura

his parents taught him everythin ghe knows <33 (emotional constipation and invlulnerability but breaking the ice every one in a while)

sometimes just randomly infodumps about random facts about star strek or space or guinea pigs at the most random of times (actually canon as briefly shown in TFBW)

likes to learn / memorize random facts abt red racer, space, star trek or guinea pigs

random fact i almost mispelled guinea pigs every single time wtmf is wrong with me

for birthdays he mostly gets space-themed stuff cuz everyone knows he loves it

if hes overwhelmed, instead of having a meltdown he'll usually have a shutdown instead

sometimes rants to stripe abt stuff like relationship drama w tweek lmao

he actually liked the clothes he wore during the metrosexual fad, (evident by keeping them in his closet as shown in TFBW)

most emotion he shows is anger/being pissed off

"sooooooo happy" is actually a stim of his and it feels satisfying for him to say it every time hes sooo happy

even when hes sooo happy the most emotion he'll show is a faint smile

doesn't really smile in any pictures unless hes forced to

flipping people off for him is kinda like pushing people away and making them pissed off at him so he wouldnt need to care abt what they think of him and that way he sorta protects himself (mostly saying this bc of one of his attacks in tfbw)(i swear im sane)

hes sometimes overwhelmed from his relationship w tweek but he fucking sucks at communicating (his kryptonite in TFBW is literally communication) he didnt communicate that to tweek just yet (this is mostly shown in buddha box)(NOT SAYING CRAIG DOESNT CARE ABOUT TWEEK HE LOVES HIM HES JUST OVERWHELMED SOMETIMES FROM FEELING LIKE HES COMPLETELY RESPONIBLE FOR HIM ANDN OIEAHDKKSH leave him alone) i like to imagine tweek and craig resolve this at one point cuz im pretty sure they get married in the future and they always push through their struggles together and they rly need each other so .

u can point to a star n hell name it

has space themed pajamas

(StOLEN HC IdK FroM whO) has those glow in the dark stars in his room

i googled it sometime ago n apparently he has blue eyes ? idrc

his childhood dream was to become an astronaut (I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT I LITERALLY HAD TO GOOGLE IT I HATE MYSELF) but when he grew up he probably settled for something less extreme. idk what though

either got diagnosed w autism at age 10, in his teens, in his young adult years, or far afterwards, or never at all. when he was told by someone that he migth be autistic he didnt rly even bother to look it up or anything but if he did he would go like "idk i dont really think im autistic i dont think i do (x symtom) all that much" and tweeks like "You do that literally all the time !!!!". but yeah even if he gets diagnosed he doesnt rly end up taking any medication or specializzed therapy but he does gain a larger understanding of himself and how to handle things like shutdowns.)

really picky eater (cuz sensory issues)

hates wearing jeans or similiar uncomfy clothing so he wears exclusively sweatpants (again cuz of sensory issues)

his whole family is autistic actually ive decided so when mr mackey brings up the possibility of him being autistic laura and thomas deny it cuz all the symptoms he shows are what they do as well, andthyere obviously not autistic so neither can craig be.

sometimes he goes over to tweeks house completely unannounced and so does tweek (actuallycanon as shown in put it down)

0verwhelmed by the concept of emotions in general but his relationship w tweek forces him to confront that part of him he tries to avoid and forces him to open up a bit which is actually rly important

since tweek is on meth, he heavily lacks appetite and sometimes skips meals or just doesnt take care of himself enough. craig learns abt this (not the meth part cuz tweek doesnt know that eithrer) so he helps him eat enough food throughout the day so he doesnt fucken starve to death

replies to tweeks texts instantly (actually canon)

tolkiens best friend (canon according to the official south park wiki). clydes a closee second

clyde annoys the fuck out of him but in a friend teasing way and they both care abt each other obvu

i actually dont rly have hcs for him n tolkien sryyyy

jimmy makes the best remarks abt creek (canon)(in put it down he asks craig (when craig doesnt know why tweek isnt in school) "uh oh. trouble in paradise?" and in TFBW during a battle tweek tells craig smth like "ill be right with you super craig!" and jimmy says "OK, i guess illbe the third wheel." anyway live laugh jimmy)

extremely blunt pessimist (canon)

despite his reputation as a troublemaker hes actually a decently polite kid (minus the constant flipping off)

barely goes out the house or does anything exciting. nice n boring. just the way he likes it.

hates changes or sudden surprises or his routine being broken

on the verge of being diagnosed w oppositional defiance disorder

sometimes wears black nail polish (again cuz in tfbw its kinda implied he liked the metrosexual fad n black nail polish migth be a more neutral form of such self expression)(mostly self projecting here)

tumblr user

during one pride month thomas went all out and bought craig a shitton of pride themed merch that he mostly doesnt use

he loves loves lovess seeing tweeks smile !!!1!! hes like omfg finally hes getting a fucking break (tweeks life is a fucking mess)

appears unphased by some stuff even when hes really uncomfortab;le

sometimes sleeps without pillow ehn he deems it more comfortable

deals w some form of small anxiety, not to a disordered amount thogh

maybee has depression ?!? idk

dated a girl in the past cuz he thought he was supposed to, but he felt like "she was holding him back". overall he didnt give a fuck abt their breakup cuz he didnt really care that much abt the relationship and when others questioned him abt it he was confused and didnt know most ppl were heartbroken after a breakup. (sorry i love early craig being a gay mess in denial)

sometimes cartman calls him a pocoyo rip off and each time he feels the strongest urge to either decapitate or defenestrate him

before he n tweek got together he would joke to tolkien abt how he was gonna propose to him when they grew up so he could live off his wealth and not have to work for any money. (SORRY i got this concept from a webcomic (the four of them))

he n tweek send heart emojis to each other (implied)

mostlyyy dry texter (he doesnt mean to)

at one point he n tweek buy a pair of guinea pigs for stripe to befriend and craig names them castor and pollux

he n tweek get married in the future

mostly likes dry, tasteless and cold food (There r obviously exceptions thats why i said mostly)

says and intreprerts things more literally than most

still sarcastic at times

hates huge social events with too many people and noiises

used to blend in well and fit in w mob mentality but doesnt really care anymore

it wont let me write anymo

[the-fiction-witch]

It's Dr Dawkins!

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Adorable

Requested: I love this story and your writing! Do you think you could write one about Y/n being blind or deaf?

I followed the lead of sound and feel, My cane in my gloved grip as I slowly moved it in a circle shape in front of me through the dust of Port Victory, the sound of the silver tip as it moved through the dirt, and the little force or pressure the wooden handle applied back, The heat of the day bore down on me as my face hid under the soft lace. I counted the steps I took and made sure to listen to that of horseshoes, and voices to ensure I was where I was supposed to be.

I heard the silver tip clink and I felt the pressure of the hit, to my left I pulled it back and did so again hearing the same and feeling the same, I moved it up slightly hearing the silver tip rub against the wood. And I smiled.

"Good Afternoon Miss Y/l/n!" I heard yelled into my left ear,

"Good, Afternoon, Mrs Artland." I answered, Mrs Artland always was one to... overcompensate.

"How. can. I. help. you. today!" She shouted slowly so close I could feel the heat of her breath on my face,

"Just the usual please," I asked as politely as I could, It's times like this I am thrilled I wear a vale so I may make any facial expressions I like without offending anyone. She did as always and helped me to pick out the items I needed even if at times I had to debate her, but slowly I added the various items to my basket.

"That all!?"

"Yes, Thank you Mrs Artland."

"You need a gentleman to walk you home Miss Y/l/n?"

"No thank you, I got here myself I can get home myself, I assure you I am quite capable."

"You sure miss?"

"I'm sure, thank you." I nodded,

I ensured my basket was on my arm and turned myself until the silver tip hit the same wooden cart stand but on my right now, so I stepped on and made sure to follow the route in my mind making sure my little points of reference were checked until the silver tip hit into the usual device and I heard a sweet bell to my right.

Home again.

I reached out my hand and my gloved hands met the smooth wooden door and I ran my hand over the cold brass feeling the debossed letters 'Y/l/n'

So I pushed open the door and headed inside, I almost didn't need my cane but I kept it as I slipped my hat and vale off and headed inside using my mental map to go to the kitchen and begin to unpack my basket.

But I soon heard steps rush down the stairs and into the room.

"Miss Y/l/n!" Marcy complained, "Miss Y/l/n please, you mustn't do that! It's not safe miss." she said as she took my basket for me doing it herself,

"I just fancied a walk to town and I know we-"

"I know Miss but please, we needed things you should have rang and I'd have gone. It isn't safe for you to go walking into town alone Miss."

"I got there and back just fine didn't I?"

"Yes, but bad things could so easily happen. Please just go and sit down miss."

I sighed but went and sat in my usual chair by the fire, even if I was hot from the day's walk in the sun I liked to sit in my chair by the fire listening to it crackle and hop, hearing the hisses and whines as things burnt, feeling the dancing heat upon my skin. I slipped off my gloves and sat my cane in its place leaning on the arm to simply enjoy the changing dancing shadows.

I heard her footsteps approach my chair, "Now? shall I make you a pot of tea miss?"

"I'm alright for the moment Marcy, I might make some later,"

"Miss, I'd much prefer to make it for you." She said as she went to the kitchen not giving me much of a choice soon enough returning with the tea tray that she sat on the table "Just call if you need me, Miss,"

"I will Marcy." I nodded, and I heard her head off into the house, I sighed a moment, Fantastic I'll have lukewarm over-steeped tea when I do want it later.

But I let time melt away for a while enjoying the fire running my fingers across my chair texture until I heard the door knock.

I sat up to go and get it but,

"No! please stay Miss." Marcy told me as she went to the door,

I sighed but stayed in my chair enjoying the fire a while more trying to listen but I heard nothing that could help me once the door opened, I then heard footsteps on my floor I heard Marcy's and another with her, tender heel first steps with a heavy leather sound on the wood, the shift of fabric and small sounds I couldn't place.

I didn't know who now stood in my living room as it wasn't like Marcy to not announce someone for me, and I hadn't been expecting anyone, but I'm sure if given a few guesses I could make assumptions as to who it was.

"Someone with you Marcy?"

"Yes miss," she said sheepishly,

"I see," I chuckled, "And It's a secret is it?"

"He asked me not to tell you miss."

"He did, did he? Well, that's a hint." I laughed,

I think I knew as really only one person would ask such a thing of Marcy,

"He uhh he says you have to guess miss."

"I see." I nodded so I sat up a little perching myself on the edge of the chair and I held out my hand.

Soon enough a hand took mine, his hands warm, his skin callus, dry as if just washed with soap and dried off moments before this, short dirty nails, slender fingers, thin wrists, I found the frayed edge of a shirt worn so much it was no longer soft cotton, I even found stitches my own repair work, I found the long and roomy sleeves with a strong arm below it, I found a sharp shoulder which forced a sound of out him a small chuckle, I found the soft tie around his neck and his collar above it, I felt his smooth skin on his neck even giving his adam's apple a joke which he struggled to silence his laughs too, Both my hands cradled his face feeling his warm smooth skin, tracing the lines across his face, how everything sat where I knew it should, the picture in my mind melting with what laid before my hands, my fingertips gracing his fluffy hair. I already knew my answer but I took the time to stroke his face to hold him in my hands and learn his every crack and crevis, I felt him smile the corners of his lips twitching, and his cheeks hardened as he smiled, I felt around his mouth was a little abrasive not as smooth as the rest of him, he had shaved in the last two days giving his skin that roughness from the blades work, then again if I knew anything about the man in front of me, he could have shaved two days ago or two months ago and the grow back would have still been about this. I'd never known a twenty-eight-year-old man to be so lacking in the facial hair department then again he made up for it.

"Can you guess who?" He whispered almost so quietly I could barely determine his voice but I knew long before his word, who sat in front of me.

"It's Dr Dawkins." I gleamed,

"Well done," He smiled, "You guessed right, you get a prize," he smirked flirtatiously moving to take my hand in his and then he moved to press a soft kiss to my forehead. "So how is my little flittermouse?" He asked as he moved away doing various things I'm sure,

"Fine, just fine." I smiled

"Good, Glad to hear it."

"How are you?"

"Aww, I'm fine flittermouse." He cooed, "Marcy's gone." He whispered,

"Ohh good, She made me tea."

"That was nice of her," he said sitting on the ottoman for my chair as usual, so he could sit in front of me and he could hold my hands,

"she made it twenty minutes ago."

"Oh... Seems worthless."

"It is," I pouted, "I swear she doesn't trust me to boil bloody water."

He chuckled, "Well it's just you and me now, You can boil all the water you want." he said, "So long as you are careful."

I sighed, "Jack! I'm a grown woman I can boil water without you or Marcy's supervision."

"I know you can, I know. But I'm allowed to still worry about you," he said trying to make the tea from the pot but I took it and did so myself slowly of course,

"I'm not a bloody cripple."

"I know you're not. you're the smartest woman I've ever met, that doens't mean I don't still worry over you." He said taking my hands in his, "Hey, you know how much I worry over my little flittermouse when I'm not here." He cooed stroking his nose on mine, "You are incredible, but that doesn't mean you can't ask for help every once in a while."

"I know Jack."

"That's my girl," He smiled, "Now, I got you a present."

"A present?"

"I did, something very special for you." He smiled as he left my hands,

"It's not my birthday or anything for a while yet Jack,"

"I know, can't I just get you presents?"

"I suppose, what is it?"

"I need to borrow this." He said stealing the cushion that had always sat on my chair behind me,

"Why?"

"Just. Patience." He warned, and a few moments later he sat back down, "Okay, here we are." he smiled gently taking my hand as he handed over the cushion now with a new case, I always had the cushion to support my chair with a silk cover on it as I liked the feeling of it, but now that cover was gone replaced by a cotton one, but this cotton had padding with thread forming crisscrossing lines all over the cushion,

"It's very soft," I smiled

"Turn it over," he said

So I did as he told me turning it over and feeling the same padded cotton but this was different, this side of the cover had small sewn-on hearts, each one made of a different fabric with thread surrounding it, each heart a fabric with a different texture, silk, satin, organza, cord, chiffon, lace. Sixteen in total in a grid design. I felt like crying, as this could not have been bought he must have taken the idea to the town tailor and had it made for me each heart a new texture, something I could run my hands over and feel the intricacy, the beauty, all the various textures and design elements. All without needing to see.

"You like it?"

"Ohh Jack... It's beautiful,"

"I wanted to get you something you know is beautiful not something I describe to you. I thought you'd like it."

"I love it so much! Thank you!"

"You're welcome my little flittermouse." He cooed giving my lips a tiny kiss, "Anything for my sweet fiance," He cooed "Now, shall I make you a new pot of tea?"

"Yes Please Jack,"

"Coming right up." 

[minispidey]

The Duke and The Wildflower.

Leto Atreides x f!reader

Miniseries Masterlist.

II. Dancing with Our Hands Tied.

3.2k words

Summary: Leto and you start your secret love affair. After a meeting, your father notices the way you looked at Leto. You started to question your feelings towards Leto.

Warnings: not beta read, some wrong grammar, garden seggs, timeskip, oral on table f!receiving, almost caught, smut, a lil angst at the end.

Leto felt the ghost of your touch that night. Your father arranged a room for him to stay in your home. He's never felt so comfortable in a planet he's never been in, and his mind was clouded by thoughts of you.

Your whimpers as he thrusted into you a few hours earlier in the library, the way you felt around his cock. He wanted you.

He left the guests' quarters and walked through the dark and empty halls, spotting you in your nightgown as you knocked on the walls to open the secret garden.

"My Lady."

His voice startles you, making you face him and backing away against the entrance of the secret garden but tripping down and sitting on the grass.

"Your grace, you frightened me." you breathed out, holding your chest.

"My apologies." Leto helps you up, entering the garden as well before it shuts close. The moon illuminates the sunroof of the garden, showing your beauty in a different light.

"What are you doing up late?"

"I could ask you the same thing, my lady."

"Well... I couldn't sleep." You said, walking towards the large tree in the middle of the garden, your bare feet touched the grass despite your previous insistence to avoid the grass "How about you, your grace?"

"I can't stop thinking about you..." he whispers.

You exhaled "It... It mustn't happen again. It was... just a pleasurable escapade. I still despise you, yet I force myself to tolerate you."

"Is that how you truly feel?"

"Yes."

"Yet you tighten your cunt around me when I first thrusted into you."

"Your grace-" your eyes widened at his boldness.

"Leto." he says "Call me Leto."

"Your grace, it is inappropriate-"

"Call me Leto." he repeated.

You took a deep breath in before letting out a sigh of defeat "Leto."

The way you said his name made him melt, his tense shoulders relaxing. He looked at you with desire and you looked back at him with your chin up and serious focused eye contact.

"Please... say it again..."

"Leto."

He slowly made his way to you. His hand was cupped and hovered your face but doesn't make contact with your skin.

He didn't have his gloves on. He didn't want to touch you that way.

But you two had sex, so he might as well, right?

"Can I... Can I touch you?"

Did he ask for permission to touch you? A Duke? Permission? It was indeed a scandalous, but they were alone

"You may."

His rough palm rested on the side of your face, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. Your skin was so soft, it made him weak.

"Can I kiss you...?"

"Leto, it was just..."

"Please." Leto leaned in and whispered softly in her ear "I need your lips." he murmured, sliding his hand up your nightgown, feeling your thigh through the silk fabric.

"You've driven me mad." he breathed, his voice a low croon as his lips hovered over hers once more "Please... let me kiss you..."

As if hypnotized by the way his eyes stared at yours, you nodded.

Leto continues to explore your body with a heady mix of reverence and hunger, his touch igniting a fire within you. His hands glide over your skin, caressing and teasing, his fingertips leaving a trail of tingling sensations in their wake.

He breaks the kiss, his dark eyes burning with desire as he gazes down at you "I want this." he breathed, his voice barely a whisper "I want you."

Lowering his head, Leto starts to lavish attention upon your neck, trailing a line of kisses along the sensitive skin. His lips move with purpose, alternating between gentle nips and lingering caresses, each touch leaving you yearning for more. Your hand rested on the nape of his neck, pushing him towards you "Leto..." you moaned.

His hand slides down your body, hiking up your silk nightgown and finding its way to the apex of your thighs. With skilled fingers, he begins to explore the depths of your desire, eliciting moans of pleasure from your lips. Leto continued to nip on your neck, leaving marks.

Leto rubs your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you squirm against him. His fingers move in slow, deliberate circles, teasing and coaxing pleasure from your sensitive bud.

"Feels good, huh?" he murmurs seductively, his voice low and husky. "Have you ever been pleasured this way before?" he asks, his fingers never ceasing their gentle movements.

"No..." you breathed out "Never. I-It feels too good..." his fingers continue their persistent movements, driving you closer to the edge. He can feel the tension building within you, the telltale signs of your impending release. And as his own desire grows, he's determined to make sure you reach your peak before he allows himself to. Your stomach twists, reaching your high, moaning out loud.

"You're beautiful...." he placed a kiss on your breast before licking his fingers. He removes his pants, taking out his hardened cock and positioning himself at your entrance, his gaze locked with yours, seeking permission for the final act of surrender, for your pleasure "Leto..." you say as an answer. It was a yes.

Leto's lips curl into a devilish smirk as he hears your breathless admission. He hooks one of your legs around his waist "I can't forget the way you felt around me..." he whispers "Your warmth... your voice..."

With a controlled yet powerful movement, Leto enters you slowly, filling you completely. His eyes roll back, feeling you once again. The air is thick with the sounds of your shared pleasure, the symphony of moans and gasps filling the secluded garden.

"Leto... oh my..." you breathed out, arching your back. Your head rested against the tree, hitting it with each thrust Leto delivers. He noticed it and placed a hand on the back of your head and he continued thrusting into your warm cavern "More..."

His grip on your hips tighten, his fingers digging into your flesh as he increases the force of his thrusts.

Leto thrusted into you with a raw, unrestrained power, his movements becoming more forceful and demanding. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the air, mingling with the symphony of your moans and gasps. He pushed you more against the tree with each powerful thrust.

Finally, with a shuddering release, you both succumb to the overwhelming pleasure that courses through your bodies. Breathing heavily, Leto held you close, his body pressed against yours as you both catch your breath. You still had your leg hooked around him, pressing your forehead against his.

"Your grace... you've gone mad..." you whispered, looking into his eyes.

"Indeed. And I would prefer to stay this way." Leto kisses you again with overwhelming passion. He's addicted to your taste.

He pulls away before laying your body down on the grass, and resting your head on the tree trunk. Leto lies down next to you, staring at you lovingly.

"I've never wanted someone so badly until I met you..."

"How charming."

"I've read books of greek gods and goddesses— Aphrodite to be exact..."

"What about her? Let me guess, you think that she created me?"

"Not at all." he shook his head "In fact, the description of her beauty pales in comparison to you."

Your gaze softens, looking at him "I fear you have angered the goddess with your compliment."

Leto let out a small laugh "If I had angered Aphrodite, I certainly didn't mean to. It's truly her fault for blessing you with such beauty."

The two looked at each other in silence. Your voice shuddered "You... You have rendered me speechless, your grace." you turned your head away from him but his finger rested under your chin, turning you back to face him.

"Are you flustered?"

"Yes." you replied with no hesitation.

Leto only smiled and pressed a kiss on your temple "Allow me to court you..."

"You have already had sex with me. Why would you want to court me?"

"Because I want you..."

You let out a sigh "You can't."

"Why?"

"My father will not allow it. Imagine the scandal."

"I see..." Leto's eyes shifted down to your lips and back to your eyes again "But... if given the chance, would you let me court you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I refuse."

You got up, straightening your nightgown before walking over to the fountain, taking water to splash your face.

Leto watches as the water drips down to your chest, making him gulp. He walks towards you, pressing his chest against your back "Please..."

"Leto..." you looked at him "We mustn't..."

"But we could." he rests his nose on your scalp, smelling your intoxicating fragrance "Allow me to love every inch of you."

You slightly smiled, looking at him "Here's uh, a peace offering." you handed him a small potted flower nearby "Father said it stood out from the garden too much and it's greedy when it comes to the sun. It just needs an inch of water a week, so I hope it's not a bother when you take it back to your planet."

Leto looked at the ivory flower. It had a strong smell, very zesty. It smelled like...

"It smells like you." he says, looking at you.

Your eyes lit up "It does?"

"Yes."

"What a coincidence."

You walked back to the tree, noticing wildflowers started growing on the grass. You started to pick them out one by one.

"Poor flowers. Lives cut short."

"In my father's garden, everything must be in order. That means absolutely no flower must stand out."

Leto only stared at you. Because in his opinion, you were that flower.

Months passed since your love affair started. For every meeting with your father, he'd stay the night and make love to you in secret. The garden and the library were your safe haven as he helped you reach the heights of pleasure.

"I heard you have concubines... you're unmarried."

"Yes. Political reasons."

"Keep telling yourself that..." you were cut off as he pressed his lips against yours.

Each interaction when your father is around consisted of longing stares and impatience. As you sat in the meeting room, your father hasn't arrived and Leto stared at you. It was just the two of you.

"My lady."

"Your grace."

You two greeted each other.

You wore your usual chiffon attire, your hair was decorated with small flowers from the garden. Silence filled the room. Leto continued to stare at you, but now with a familiar look on his face. You shook your head.

"My world."

"Leto." you sighed, clearly flustered by the endearment. He started calling you that more often during your previous private meetings.

A soft smile graces his lips as he moves closer, his hands gently caressing your face.

Leto guides you to lie back on the table, his hands roaming your body with a gentle yet possessive intent. His lips find yours in a passionate kiss, his tongue teasingly exploring your mouth.

As the kiss deepens, his hands roam lower, tracing the contours of your body, igniting sparks of pleasure with each touch. He breaks away from the kiss, resting his face in the crook of your neck.

"You're too beautiful." he whispers, his breath warm against your skin. You shift a bit on the table, hiking your dress up "We must be hurry... father could enter any time soon."

Leto's fingers glide over your skin, his touch leaving a trail of tingling sensations. He takes his time, savoring every moment, his mouth finding its way to your neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses. His fingers stopped on your clit, rubbing it in circles, making you moan softly.

His voice is a low, seductive rumble as he murmurs "Be patient, my world... I assure you he won't know a thing."

Leto's control remains steadfast, his hands and lips working in perfect harmony to bring you pleasure. He takes his time, exploring your body with a mix of gentle caresses and more demanding touches, his voice filled with praise and dirty talk.

"I won't rush. Your pleasure takes time." he murmurs "This arouses you, doesn't it? Going painfully slow..."

You suddenly hear footsteps approaching the meeting room. You snapped back up and Leto fixes himself, making himself presentable.

Some of the flowers from your hair fell, but you gathered them in your hand and took your place near the end.

Your father enters the room, smiling "I apologize for my tardiness. My garden needed some care." he laughed, taking his seat "Leto, my friend. I wish to not waste your time anymore."

Oh no.

"But we cannot continue with the trade. Our winery would have limited stocks after taking a thousand. We only make so little a year. Our vineyard has gotten smaller. We've recently planted new seeds yet we do not have enough workers to care for everything."

"I hope you could reconsider-"

"I cannot." your father cuts him off "The vineyard is what made us... decent for a minor house. Without it, major houses won't acknowledge the Alaak house." he chuckles.

"If we circle around a thousand of your wine, your house would be much known.

"And if it did, where will I get the wine to sell?"

Leto fell silent. His eyes flickered towards you from across the table, but you only looked at your father as he talked.

"I understand..."

"It was a good run while it lasted, Duke Atreides. I apologize for your constant visits and revisions of the trade."

Your father noticed a small flower stuck on Leto's beard, but ignored it. Leto stood up from his seat, doing a small bow "It is alright. Good day, Duke Alaak."

Then he faces you "My lady."

Your father noticed the way you looked at Leto. Your eyes were soft, pitiful. Then he noticed the flowers on your head... was the same as the one on Leto's beard.

Your father wasn't as stupid as he shows himself to be. But surely, he wasn't angry and stood silent.

Leto leaves the meeting room, walking off into the hallway in defeat while you and your father stayed seated.

"Beauty. Is there something you wish to tell me?" he says your nickname as he looked at you. Maybe you would tell him yourself what's with you and Leto.

"Father..."

"Daughter."

"Alright." you let out a groan "It may not be the best idea, but I do think it's a fair trade. He's offered us materials, alliance, and more. Though I do agree a thousand is too much, perhaps half could work."

Oh. So it wasn't that.

"Brains, we can't afford so much loss from our stocks. The Atreides house is indeed powerful yet they won't fool me."

"Father, it's not just about their materials. This is about our exposure as the Alaak house. Imagine if we grew. The vineyard would be cared for."

Your father let out a long childish groan "Alright then... it's going to be your vineyard anyways."

As the celebration commenced, your father walked towards Leto with one of the bottles of wine "You know, my daughter was the one to convince me. Not you. So, take it as you will." clearly as you were as prideful as your father.

Leto chuckled, extremely surprised "She did? That's very kind of the lady to do."

"I trust my daughter's judgement. She sees the truth in everyone." he hands him the wine "Besides, it's rare for her to like someone. I don't know where she got that from. Probably her mother."

"I heard her mother tried to kill you."

"When we first met, yes. She definitely got her personality from her mother. My daughter is a perfect mix of me and her mother, she knows what she wants and what she's worth. I'm not letting her settle for any less."

Leto's eyes made it's way to you. Watching how your dress flows as you walk across the room, instructing staff. You were aware of his gaze, but the burning desire in your heart let him be.

"I have another proposal."

"What is it?"

"I prefer it we talk about it in private." Leto says. Your father nodded before slipping out and into the meeting room.

You were curious what they were talking about, but you kept quiet and grabbed yourself a glass of wine.

"Dearest," your father held your hand "You've been unmarried for years. I'm getting older. Your beauty is indeed like a flower, but flowers don't last."

"Father, please. I know."

"I can't let you die without experiencing the beauty of love. The same thing me and your mother had." he smiles at you "I care for you, Beauty. I wish nothing but your happiness and power."

"Father. Where exactly are you going with this?" You looked at him, skeptical.

"Brains, I hope you understand that I'm doing this out of a feeling. I think you may be in love with Duke Atreides."

You pull your hand away from his grasp, eyes widening "That is non sense. Why would I be in love with that-" your eyes shake, you couldn't find a reason "Never mind that. What do you mean I may be in love with him?"

"I see the way you look at him. The same way your mother used to look at me." your father smiled "It isn't a gut feeling anymore. I know you're in love with him."

"Father." You started tearing up "I can't be."

"Why not?"

"Because I..." you tried to find a reason. You knew there wasn't one. You knew you loved him "He doesn't wish to be married. Political reasoning."

"Dearest, he asked to buy half of our vineyard to help with the process of our wine."

"Oh how surprising..." you mumbled.

"I agreed upon one condition." your father let out a sigh "Only if he marries you."

"You did what? Father-"

"Beauty, you know I want nothing else but the best future for you. Being in love with Duke Atreides, marrying him and being in a Major House will guarantee you a better future than I could ever offer you. The vineyard is indeed keeping us rich, but it might not last to ensure you a life of luxury."

"I do not need a life of luxury. I could live here until the day that I die. I do not want to be parted from you, father."

"You did inherit my arrogance." he chuckles "But for sake of you, and the children you bare for the continuation of the Alaak family, please marry him." he took both of your hands and kissed them "Brains, I want nothing but the best. But you are better than any diamond or gold that I own, you are a wildflower... you don't deserve what I could only give you."

In a garden where all potted flowers have a picture perfect role, only one thing truly stood out: The wildflowers.

"Though..." he sighed "I can't force you. It's just what I thought was best... goodnight, dearest." your father kissed your forehead before leaving your quarters. You looked out the window, thinking about your feelings.

Did you love Leto? Not including the secret sessions in the library or the garden...

Did you?

[inlovewithregencyera]

Elmsworth House, July 4th, 1818

Martha: Oh dear cousin how I've missed you!

Aurelia: Oh Martha!

Ashley: It's very good to see you cousin! We are so very happy to have you here! I'm glad Patience and I have returned from Winshire in time for your arrival!

Aurelia: And you as well Ashley! I'm glad to be here.

Patience: Ashley you've acted like you've not seen her in a year, please calm yourself.

Ashley: Oh yes dear, I fear I've excited myself too much.

Peregrine: *scribbling manically* Good to see you, dear Aurelia! And Patience, must you always be a nuisance? Stop being blue-deviled.

*Patience scoffs*

Helena: Oh will you all hush up! Lord Worthington is in our presence!

Frederick: No need to make accomodations for me Lady Helena. The times in the library with my family were more chaotic than this.

Helena: Oh I'm sure of it! With 4 sisters and a mother, I'm positive you and your father never knew peace!

Martha: Aurelia, do take a turn around the room with me!

Aurelia: Well what did you want to discuss?

Martha: My God! I must tell you how annoying that Patience is.

Aurelia: *giggling* Oh Martha you tell me this every time I'm here!

Martha: Oh yes, she's absolutely insufferable. I can barely stand her

Aurelia: Oh, I'm sure.

Martha: I have the most exciting news...

Aurelia: And that would be?

Martha: Well, I-

Patience: Martha! May you help me relocate my fan! I seem to have lost it.

Martha: Well can't you ask-

Patience: No! You are the closest and I don't want to ask your poor mother or dearest Aurelia.

Martha: Well why can't Ash-

Ashley: Well no Lord Worthington! I don't like The Castle of Otranto, it's frightening!

*Frederick and Peregrine sigh*

Patience: He's preoccupied! And he could scarcely find his head if it wasn't attached to his shoulders.

Martha: *scoffs* Fine. Excuse me, Aurelia, I shall tell you when I return.

Martha: And where did you leave it?

Patience: Oh! Near the stairs!

Martha: Seriously Patience?!

Patience: *in between kisses* Why have you not returned my letters?

Martha: *in between breaths* Because...

Patience: Oh, *kisses neck* don't tell me you're infatuated with *breathing hard* Aurelia.

Martha: No, it's something else.

Patience: *eye starts twitching* Is it that scullery maid Verity again? Because God if so-

Martha: You're extremely jealous, it vexes me.

Patience: How couldn't I be. Have you *nose rub* seen yourself?

Martha: *pushing off* Stop. Please.

Patience: We haven't kissed since April. You barely touch me anymore. God knows how long it's been since we made love.

Martha: Not since March 22nd.

Patience: And why is that?

Martha: I'm not sure Patience. Perhaps it's the fact that you're married to my brother?

Patience: Oh you know he might as well be an invalid. He lets me do what I please. We haven't even consummated our m-

Martha: Stop it. Don't talk of him in such ways. And it's my fault you haven't consummated it, you won't let him touch you! You're lucky he's told Mama and Papa so they wouldn't call a physician to examine you!

Patience: You know he's weak.

Martha: Patience Ramsbury, you are too. I'm done with this conversation, I will not have you insulting my brother and your HUSBAND in front of me.

Patience: Wait! What were you telling Aurelia that was so urgent?

Martha: You'll find out soon enough. Excuse me.

Ashley: Oh good you've returned! But without my dearest, where is she?!

Martha: In her room, you should go keep her company!

Ashley: Oh of course! *shouting whilst running* MY LOVE! I'M COMING.

Peregrine: It pains me I cannot have a son like you, Lord Worthington. It truly does. God, where did I go wrong.

Helena: Oh hush up! You know he's always been a good boy.

Peregrine: Yes, yes he has. I blame myself for letting you nurse him.

Aurelia: What did you want to tell me?

Martha: Oh! *whispers*

Aurelia: Really?!

Martha: Yes, it's most exciting! You mustn't tell Mama or Patience yet. Only Ashley and Papa know.

Martha: You mustn't tell Lord Worthington either...

Aurelia: What are you implying?

Martha: You've got that look in your eye again. Something occurred between the two of you...

Aurelia: Dear Martha, you tease me! I assure you...nothing has happened between us.

Martha: We'll see about that...

Helena: Oh my, I've completely forgotten! We are having dinner with the Carews tonight! Aurelia, you and Lord Worthington will attend and I'll have you seated beside one another!

Aurelia: ....

Frederick: I-

Peregrine: If that is agreeable to you of course Lord Worthington.

Frederick: Yes-I mean absolutely! I will happily sit beside Aurelia.

Peregrine: Capital! Tonight will be a night to remember. Helena, do make sure you shove Laudanum down Patience's throat. I'm sure she'll tire our guests with her mawkish chatter.

Helena: Of course my love!

[luneariaa]

☀︎ 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 | 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝

❥︎ - ; ɢɴ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

❥︎ - 𝐭𝐰 : ɴᴏɴᴇ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ᴏꜰ ꜱɪᴄᴋ ᴊᴏꜱʜᴜᴀ 🧡

❥︎ - 𝐚/𝐧 : ʀᴇqᴜᴇꜱᴛᴇᴅ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ,, ᴅᴇᴄɪᴅᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴏꜱᴛ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀꜱ ᴡᴇʟʟ 🧡

☾︎ - 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.

-✰-

"Joshua, you mustn't push yourself too hard. You should take a rest, as you are still sick as ever." You scolded the Dominant of Phoenix, shaking your head slightly in disapproval.

It's your task as his personal attendant, or a caregiver of some sort after all; ever since his childhood years.

Though this is like a normal occurrence for the both of you, you still couldn't help it-- always worried over his natural born sickly condition.

A soft sigh escapes from your lips as you put the leftover food and medicines away after you've made sure he has taken them.

Joshua merely smiles reassuringly at you. "You worry too much. If I were to rest almost all the time, I would never get anything done."

His tone clearly shows that he's gotten used to it, and is perfectly fine by this point.

"Besides, I got you here with me, don't I?" He lightly refers to you with no hint of anger or even annoyance whatsoever. "Even if I do push myself too hard, you'd be there to scold me back to reality."

His last sentence genuinely earned an amused look from you, at least a bit; smirking slightly with your head turned away.

"Josh, come on now," you merely chuckled, finally giving him your full attention.

"While your point is completely valid, that doesn't stop me from worrying about you."

A gentle smile adorns upon his handsome face, now holding onto the eye contact as well with a certain fondness being apparent.

And it's completely reasonable, since the both of you have basically stuck up with each other for uncountable years; ever since his childhood years alone.

While you are like, a year or two years younger than he is, you always do your tasks dutifully without a single complaint. Well, unless you needed to. But aside from that, you never did.

"You always tend to my needs even when I didn't really need them. You even brought me books to read with, or even when my Father was away."

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

His ocean-blue eyes wandered out and onto the bright afternoon sky as he spoke those words; reminiscing the old times that have surely passed.

Several birds have even landed on the windowsill of the currently open window-- their' heads tilted adorably for a few seconds, before flying away once again to join their group of friends someplace.

You turned your head to spare him a glance, now noticing that his previous smile was gone, yet still somehow distracted in his own cloud of thoughts.

You even took the opportunity to simply stare at his handsome side profile, though it only lasted for a few minutes or less as you didn't want to be seen as improper. Even more regarding to the clear difference in rankings between you both.

He did notice the stare that you've given him but decided not to say anything, or even choose to not mention anything. After all, it did not once make him feel uncomfortable in some way.

His beautiful, ocean-blue eyes found their way to your figure once more, seeing that you've now seated on one of the vacant chairs nearby while averting your gaze toward outside the window as well.

"You know," he grins a bit as he starts on. "I remember back then; when you stood inside the library, perhaps checking and dusting off some of the old books for Father, and you were so focused that you didn't notice my presence."

"It's quite funny that you screamed a little, even jumping in surprise when you finally noticed me."

An annoyed look became visible from the moment those words left his mouth. Baffled, even.

"Hey, it's not my fault that I didn't notice you that time-! Besides, I didn't even jump that high.." You muttered under your breath as your cheeks became pinkish in pure embarrassment at the old memory.

"It's adorable actually." He chuckles again, this time most likely directed at the current expression you're making.

With your cheeks being puffed out in response to his teasing, you grabbed the cushion that was settled on the sofa and threw one at him; still out of embarrassment.

The cushion did end up hitting him straight on the face, yet he only laughs it off at your actions alone.

"Just know that I could tease you all day if I could."

But you knew better-- you couldn't even stay annoyed at him no matter how hard you tried to be. And he's completely aware of it.

In the end, you've simply given up and decided to laugh along as well. All the while that it happened, Joshua just fell in love more deeply with you than he ever did in the process.

It's just a matter of time whether he admits his feelings for you or decides to go against it.

𝐞𝐧𝐝.

-✰-

@ 𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚜.

[nayluvsmatt]

“Tension.”

As we sat on matt’s bed watching a movie I couldn’t help but notice how close his body was to my own. The space between us felt heavy, full of unspoken desire. His leg rests a ruler's length from my own and I want nothing more than to run my hands along his thigh. To feel his warmth under my fingertips.

I clench my left hand which rests between us, I mustn't let my mind wander right now. I don’t want matt to notice, I’m supposed to be focusing on the movie, not on him. As if on cue he turns his head towards me, lightly places his right hand over mine, and speaks in a soft tone “Is everything okay?” I look into his eyes for a few moments and smile

“Yes, just thinking. That's all”. His head tilts quizzically, like a puppy struggling to understand the word of man.

“What troubles your thoughts?” he asks. I hesitate to reply, shall I speak the truth? I gaze into his eyes for another few seconds contemplating whether or not to do so. I whisper in a tone that is barely audible to myself, a singular word.

“You”.

 

He doesn’t say anything, only holds my gaze. It’s difficult to tell what he’s thinking. Sitting this close to him I can see every detail about him. I notice the way his soft lips are lightly damp from a lick of his tongue.

Desire burns through me, a desire to kiss those lips and run my fingers through his silky hair. He closes his eyes as he leans towards me slowly, like a hunter stalking his prey. I inhale as his lips hover in front of my own, they are only millimetres apart.

Our bodies press together, I can feel every inch of him. His hands rest on my hips as one of mine travel to his hair, the other slowly running over his chest.

I exhale through the kisses and slow down, savouring the moment. Matt’s hand which was once held over my own now pulls me in closer to him. My crotch presses against his own. With this, I can feel he is becoming hard which makes me shiver even more.

 

Matt pushes me to my back on the bed and his body comes down with me. He presses his cock onto my crotch slowly grinding through our clothes as he continues to kiss me.

I pull my head away and angle my neck up. “You’re so sexy” I mumble through a moan. He kisses my neck and trails down with kisses to my shirt all the while still grinding on me.

“Tell me how sexy,” he says while clasping the hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head to reveal a black lace bra “moan it to me”.

 

I pull his shirt off him and admire his half-naked upper body and pull him down to kiss his lips. I bite his lower lip, pulling on it lightly which ejects a moan from him.

I make eye contact with him and say in an embarrassingly desperate voice “I want you so bad”. He smirks and removes his underwear and his cock sticks out almost straight, he’s already rather hard. He teases me by kissing the inside of my thighs and trailing up. He kisses my stomach, my chest and finally up to my lips. He stops to remove my bra, but only ends up fiddling with it and not figuring out how to take it off. I chuckle and remove it for him.

 

He sways his hips left to right on my underwear.

“Do you want me” he smirks.

“Stop teasing me. I want you.” I bite back playfully. He pulls aside my underwear and slowly enters my pussy.

 

His strong hands grab my thighs to spread my legs. He starts off slowly and enters me halfway, pulls out slowly and fully removes my underwear. He then enters me again this time going further, his cock stretching me and my pussy becomes wetter.

He kneels his left leg on top of my right and slowly enters my pussy, this time going deep into me. Matt holds himself inside me for a few seconds before pulling out almost all the way. He then pushes his cock inside of me faster this time and back out again.

I clench the bedsheet in my hands and moan his name, louder this time. This fuels him to go faster and harder. I close my eyes and bite my lower lip holding back from moaning more.

 

His pace slows again as he reaches an arm out to grasp my tit. His hand teases with my nipple and he moans. Matt’s hand comes away from my tit and he pulls himself out of me “Sit up” he demands while he lays on his back next to me. I follow his command, his hands grasp my waist and he pulls me on top of him.

“Me on top? Someone must be getting tired,” I say in a joking manner.

“Just shut up and fuck me, love.” he snarls with a smile. This sends a shiver down my spine. I follow his desire and mount his stiff cock and start bouncing on him. I lean over him slightly and place my hands on his sexy body. I begin to move my body quicker now, feeling his cock enter and exit me repetitively.

He thrusts his cock inside of me at the same time in a fast motion, my body feels like it’s going to explode. My tits bounce with the fast motion and Matt’s hand returns to grasping one of them. “You’re such a good girl” he moans.

My pussy tingles with delight and my legs shake slightly “Oh god, I’m going to cum” I exclaim. To this, he stops and I follow by slowing down. I bounce on his cock slower now, a steady pace that feels amazing.

I fasten my pace again and his moans persist more, this time loud and faster. He begins to thrust again and our bodies move fast, filled with the need for release.

I moan louder, not caring if anyone overhears. “Don’t stop” I manage to demand through moans. My body feels hot and ready to cum.

I feel his cock enter my pussy so fast now and we both moan more intensely. Knowing we’re both about to cum I force myself to continue at this pace, even though I am feeling tired.

matt’s eyes squint and his head throws back. I feel like my body is going to explode with delight. It feels too good.

I let myself go and become overwhelmed with an orgasm. I give out one final moan as my body cums, at the same time matt cums and we both stop moving. “I haven’t cummed that strong in a long time,” I say while dismounting myself from him.

“Pleasure to be of your help.” Matt breathes out while chuckling , and we both laugh at each other.

[canirove]

Rodrigo Riquelme Imagine

Author's note: This is a request I got on Wattpad. They wanted something where you meet Rodrigo as a fan and then start a relatioship, so I've used an idea I had been wanting to use for a while but hadn't had the chance to. As always, I hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜 Little summary: After losing a bet with one of your friends, you now how to do wherever she asks you too. And what has been her brilliant idea? To make you sneak a little piece of paper with your phone number in the pocket of the person visiting you at work today for a fan event: Rodrigo Riquelme. (Female reader/pov)

Masterlist

“You are crazy. This is crazy.”

“Oh, shush” my friend says while she keeps writing.

“What if someone sees us? What if the one seeing us do this is our boss? They could fire us, you know? Both of us.”

“No one will notice or fire us, stop worrying” she says. “Here.”

“I'm not doing it” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Yes, you are. You lose the bet, remember?” she says, putting the little piece of paper between my arms. “You have to do it.”

“Can't we change it for something different? Like, I could clean for you during a week. A month! Or pay for your coffee. Or…”

“Or nothing. This is what I want you to do, so chop chop. The event is almost over” she says, pushing towards the crowd

“Urgh” I groan. 

It will be a silly bet, nothing serious, my friend had said. I won't make you do anything risky if I win, she had said. Yet here I am, on my way to ask Rodrigo Riquelme for a photo, and take advantage of the moment to sneak a little paper with my phone number and Instagram handle in his pocket. 

My friend obviously got inspired after seeing other girls doing it with Pedri and Gavi during fan events, but the fact that people had made fun of them after being caught, some even finding it kind of disrespectful, hasn't changed her mind about it. Not even the possibility of me getting fired if I get caught since I work at Atlético de Madrid's shop, where today's event is happening, has made her stop to reconsider her plan. 

“C'mon” she says, giving me a little push once the queue of fans in front of me starts moving. “Don't miss your chance.”

“This seriously is the worst idea you've ever had.”

“Or the best one. What if he ends up falling in love with you, marries you, and you save us all from being poor and having to work?”

“What?” I gasp.

“I was joking, relax” she chuckles. “Now focus on what you have to do.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too” she smiles.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Hi. Can I… We… Ummm…” I mumble when it finally is my turn.

“Take a photo?” Rodrigo smiles.

“Yes.”

“Sure. Just you or both of you?”

“Just her” my friend says. “And don't forget about the paper” she whispers in my ear before pushing me towards him.

“Thank you for your work here today, by the way” he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulders.

“Uh?”

“You work here, don't you?”

“I do.”

“Then organising all this mustn't have been easy” he says, looking at me.

“Oh, it… yeah” I reply, finally understanding why my friend had picked him for this crazy idea. He is so handsome. 

“Should we?”

“Should we what?”

“Look at the camera? I don't mind this view but…” he smirks.

“Oh, yes, umm… Yes” I mumble once again, feeling my cheeks on fire. 

“Perfect!” my friend says with the biggest grin once she's taken our photo. “Thank you very much, Rodrigo.”

“You're welcome” he says before turning to look at me. “It was really nice meeting you.”

“Me too. I mean, you too. Yeah. Bye” I say, giving him a quick hug while his arm still is around me and leaving the note on the back pocket of his jeans. Thank God he is wearing a pair of baggy ones and I've barely had to touch him. 

“He liked you” my friend smirks as we walk away.

“Shut up.”

“And you liked him back. Look at the colour of your cheeks!”

“I hate you.”

“Won't be saying the same on your wedding day!” she laughs as I keep walking and hide myself in the staff room, hoping to be allowed to stay there until everyone has left so I don't have to see him again. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Everyone has left, the shop is basically empty” my friend says, walking into the staff room. “You can go outside if you want.”

“What I want is to go home, but I guess some has to tidy up.”

“I can do it.”

“What?”

“Yeah” she shrugs. “Besides, there is someone outside who wants to speak with you.”

“With me?” 

They saw me. Someone saw what I did with the paper, told our boss, and now they want to fire me. I'm losing my job because of a stupid bet and…

“It isn't our boss, don't worry” she chuckles. 

“What?”

“The person who wants to speak with you. It isn't our boss, you aren't getting fired.”

“Then who…”

“Go outside and you'll see” she says with a smile that I don't trust. She's hiding something, but what?

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“You!” I gasp when I walk into the shop.

“Me” he chuckles. He. Rodrigo Riquelme. He was the one who wanted to speak with me. He… what? “I believe this is yours” he says, showing me a little piece of paper. My piece of paper.

“Fuck” I say under my breath. “I'm really sorry, I… I…”

“I'm flattered.”

“What?”

“I'm flattered” he smiles. “I thought these things only happened to more famous players than me, like Gavi or Bellingham.”

“Yeah, ummm… I still want to apologise for doing it. I lost a bet with my friend and she thought it was something fun to do even though I told her it wasn't and that she was crazy and…”

“Does that mean that I can't text you? Or follow you on Instagram?”

“What?” I say again, my voice sounding all squeaky. 

“I was thinking about texting you later today. Maybe have a little chat, get to know each other a bit, convince you to come watch me play one day… those things” he shrugs. “But if you weren't serious about this…”

“No, no. I mean, yes. I mean… urgh” I say, covering my face with my hands.

“Yes or no?” Rodrigo chuckles.

“No, I wasn't serious, but yes, I would like you to text me later” I say, looking at him from between my fingers. He is smiling. That's good, isn't it?

“Ok. Then I guess I'll see you later. Or text you” he says, showing me the paper and putting it in back on his pocket. 

“Yes. I… Yes.”

“Bye.”

“Bye” I say as I watch him walk away. But when he makes it to the shop’s door, he looks back at where I am standing and waves at me, a stupid smile definitely showing on my face when I wave back at him.

“I knew it!”

“Holy mother of Jesus!” I yell. “You scared me!”

“I know” my friend says behind me. “But I knew he had like you and that you had liked him back!”

“I didn't. I don't.”

“Oh, c'mon” she laughs. “I heard everything.”

“You… seriously? That was a private conversation!”

“And I'm sorry. But I needed to have all the info for my future speech at your wedding.”

“You… urgh” I say, rolling my eyes. “Let's go tidy up. I want to go home.”

“And wait for Rodrigo's text?” she smirks.

“Urgh” I say again. 

But maybe… just maybe… she is right and I want to go home because I am a bit excited about receiving that promised text. Just a little bit, tho. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

A few months later...

“You've gone on so many dates already… And you've met each other’s friends, and gone away on little getaways, and you wear his shirt to his games… Why hasn't he asked you yet to be his girlfriend?”

“Why does it matter?” I ask my friend as we unpack some of the new merchandising. 

“Well, it's nice to know where you stand in your relationship, you know? To know that you both are on the same page, that you both take it seriously, want the same and to be together.”

“I know we are there. I don't need a title or whatever to confirm it.”

“Oh, c'mon. Are you telling me that hearing Rodrigo introduce you as his girlfriend doesn't make you feel anything on your belly?” she smirks.

“It's just a word” I shrug.

“Then why are you blushing?”

“I'm not.”

“Yes, you are. You like how it sounds.”

“I… Ok, fine” I sigh. “I may like it a bit. But again, I don't need him to ask me.”

“That's true. This is the 21st century, you could ask him to be your boyfriend. Maybe with another note?” 

“Oh, no. No more notes. I don't want to see one of those ever again.”

“Why? You wouldn't be dating Rodrigo if it wasn't because of one.”

“I know, but… no. And let's focus on finishing with all this unpacking. I want to have time to stop by my place before going to his.”

“You want to change into your sexy lingerie for later tonight, uh?” she smirks.

“Idiot” I reply, hitting her with a bunch of bubble wrap.

“I'll take that as a yes” she laughs, this time managing to dodge me when I try to hit her again.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Have I told you yet that you look beautiful tonight?” Rodrigo smiles.

“A few times, yes” I smile back.

“Not enough. And you know what else is beautiful though not as much as you?”

“Tell me.”

“The moon.”

“The moon?” I chuckle.

“Yep. There is a full moon tonight that apparently is super big, and the best place to watch it is the balcony in my room. Shall we?” he says, getting up from the table where we've been having dinner and offering me his hand.

“Ok” I giggle.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“And?” Rodrigo says, kissing my shoulder.

“It's just the moon” I shrug.

“Just the… You are hard to impress, aren't you?” he laughs.

“Not really” I say, moving on his arms until I'm facing him. “I was impressed by you, wasn't I?”

“Oh you little tease!” he laughs again, tickling me. “Anyway, should we go finish our dinner? We still haven't had dessert. Unless you want to skip it and move into the other dessert” he smirks, nodding behind him.

“Oh, so that was why you wanted to bring me here to watch the moon, uh? It was just an excuse to get me into your bed.”

“Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't” he shrugs. “So, dessert… or dessert? 

“What about both? First that one…” I say, nodding behind him. “And then the other one to recharge.”

“I like the way you think, my lady.”

“Rodrigo!” I laugh when he lifts me in the air and carries me to his bed. 

“As if you didn't like it when I do this” he says, moving to be on top of me once I'm laying down.

“Not as much as I like you” I smile before kissing him.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“What the…” I say as something falls from my pocket while I get dressed. 

“Are you ready yet? We can't be late, I made a reservation for breakfast” Rodrigo says, showing up at his room's door.

“What is this?” 

“Uh?”

“This was on my jeans” I say, showing him the little piece of paper.

“I don't know” he shrugs. “Why don't you open it?”

“Rodrigo…”

“C'mon, open it” he says, trying really hard not to smile.

“Ok” I say, my hands shaking a bit for some reason. “Do you want to be my girlfriend? Yes / no” I read to myself. “Is this real?”

“Uh?”

“Rodrigo, don't play dumb.”

“I don't know what you mean” he shrugs again. “Anyway, I'll wait for you downstairs. And oh, there is a pen on that drawer over there in case you need one for whatever the reason” he winks before leaving his room.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Ok, I'm ready” I say, joining Rodrigo downstairs. 

“All good?” he asks me.

“Yep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Umm… yeah” I shrug.

“Ok, then” he says, getting up from the sofa where he was sitting. “But are you really really sure there is nothing you want to tell me? Or show me?”

“No.”

“Well, then let's go have breakfast” he sighs.

“Wait, Rodrigo.”

“What… Oi!” he laughs when I pinch his butt. 

“Sorry. Couldn't help myself” I say, giving him my best smile. “And you had something there.”

“What?” 

“On your butt” I say, opening his house’s door and walking outside.

“I… What?” he says with a confused look, touching it. 

“Rodrigo!” I laugh when he suddenly shows up behind me and wraps his arms around me.

“That was cheeky.”

“What was?”

“Sneaking that note in my pocket? Again?”

“What note?”

“The one I left in your pocket.”

“Oh, was it you?”

“Don't tease me” he says, biting my ear and making me giggle. “But then… is it official?”

“I'm pretty sure I circled the yes, didn't I?” I say, moving to look at him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

“You did. But just to be sure… Can you say it aloud?”

“You'll have to ask me first.”

“Ok” he chuckles. “So, ummm… God, writing it down was easier. Ok” he says again, taking a deep breath. “Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

“I do” I smile. “I want to be your girlfriend, Rodrigo.”

“Great, cool” he says with a nervous laugh. “Cool” he says again before kissing me and kind of making it official.

We are boyfriend and girlfriend. 

[idabbleincrazy]

Never a Wish Better Than This (7/7)

Fandom: Smallville

Rating: E

Pairing: Clex

Characters: Clark, Lex, surprise guest appearance

Word Count: 9346 (8265 without the lyrics)

Warnings: angst, schmoop, fluff, smut, oral, anal fingering, anal, intensely emotional smut, soulmate-ish stuff, So Much Kissing, bottom!Lex, top!Clark, subby!Lex, songfic (kinda)

Summary: Clark surprises Lex. Lex surprises himself.

A/N: and that's one more chapter fic finally finished! Now onto the daunting task of rewriting as much of the rest of the show as possible.

Lex's POV:

Okay, ow. Gee, Lex, yes, let's allow the computer-generated likeness of your boyfriend's biological father to use alien technology to zap a fuckton of Kryptonian (holy shit, that's quick absorption) knowledge into your brain, sounds like a genius idea. 

As the torrent of information dies down, I become aware of Clark's warmth pressing against my back, solid and grounding, his arms wrapped around my waist. When did I fall to my knees? 

"Lex?"

"I'm fine, Clark." Fuck, wish my voice sounded more steady. I turn my head to look at him, the newly gained knowledge of just how spectacular Clark really is, even more than I'd already figured, making my head spin with the scientific possibilities. Have to clamp down on all that, though. Mustn't treat the love of your life like a lab rat, Lex. I push aside the thoughts of experiments and underground laboratories, and press my hand to the side of his face. "You really are amazing, Clark."

There's that blush I love so much. 

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Other than the start of what's promising to be a fuckingly awful headache? Yes, I'm alright."

"Yeah, I think the only time I've ever had a real, lasting, migraine was when the A.I. did the same thing to me."

I frown at him as he stands up, pulling me up with him. 

"So, it's not just Kryptonite that can affect you physically?"

"You know about that now, huh?"

I nod, thinking. Knowledge is power, and now I don't know if I trust myself to keep from letting this much power corrupt me. 

"Look, Clark, maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all. I mean, sure, it gives a lot of clarity to the things that have happened these last four years; your little walk on the wild side and all that, but…Clark, what if I'm more like my father than I thought? What if I'm worse? I don't want to hurt you, Clark, but what if I really am the villain of the story?"

My heart clenches at the look he gives me just before he envelopes me in his strong embrace. His mouth is just centimeters from my ear as he shushes me. 

"You won't, Lex. I won't let you." He pressed a soft kiss to my cheek before pulling back, his bright, green gaze locking onto mine, full of promises. "Sure, you could hurt me now, physically. But you always had the ability to hurt me emotionally, and you've never done anything that couldn't be forgiven. We've hurt each other, Lex, without even meaning to, with our secrets and lies, and going behind each other's backs. We're still here, together. Because, ultimately, neither of us has given in to what's expected of us."

God, I don't deserve him, this incredible, beautiful being who somehow believes in me, despite everything. Staring back at him, I feel the bond now, like a pulsing thread stretching between us. During the transfer, I saw the other threads to his potential lovers, coiling out around Smallville, and beyond. Lana, of course, and Chloe. I wasn't surprised to learn of Kyla and Alicia, their threads now severed, laying dark and still. I was, however, surprised by Pete and Lois both having a connection, though Pete's appeared very weak and frayed, whether by physical distance or emotional, I was unsure. Chloe's thread gave off less of a thrum than Lois and Lana's, less like a lover, rather, more like a true confidante, and it made me wonder how much she knew about Clark. Lana's thread, though slightly frayed, still fought to maintain its connection, and Lois' seemed somewhat muted, like there was a resistance being enacted upon it from one side or the other. 

It worried me a little, that these connections still stood. Yes, Clark chose me, and I, him, but any one of these other potentials would be so much safer. 

I'm a Luthor, dammit. Luthors don't second-guess themselves. Luthors have conviction. We make a decision and stand by it, to the end. You love Clark, and would do anything for him.

But what does a Luthor know of love? Luthors hurt and betray, pretend affection to get what they want from people, use them to further their own end. I've fucked endless numbers of people, but I've never cared about them, about their wants and needs and feelings.

Ah, but you did once, didn't you? That first time. You loved him, and would've done anything for him, too.

And that worked out so well, didn't it? Those blue, too blue, eyes flash through my memory with a sting of betrayal. He hurt me, deeply, what's to stop Clark from doing the same thing?

You don't really believe that, do you? Do you really think him capable of inflicting such pain?

No. I don't. And that's what matters, isn't it? I snap myself out of my inner contemplation and pull Clark into a deep, searching kiss. I find my strength, my conviction, in that kiss, his tongue twining with mine, his hands flexing, oh, so carefully, at my waist. Breathless, I break the kiss, pressing my forehead to his, just holding on to him.

"I don't deserve you, Clark Kent."

"Hey, don't talk like that. You deserve love, and I will make you see that. Where'd you go just now?"

"Nowhere, Clark." I disentangle myself from his arms, looking around at the cavern. The hewn-rock table with the element I'd found in Egypt set in the center beckons me, another secret, another temptation. I know enough now to know it wasn't actually Clark who betrayed me with that theft, that Jor-El had been steering him. It can wait. "I know there's still a lot about this place to discuss and explore, but, Clark, can we just go? That transfer, it's taken a lot outta me."

"Oh. Sure. You're okay, though? This was a pretty big step."

"I assure you, I'm alright. I just need time for everything to sort itself out in there." Letting him lead the way back through the passageways, I toss him the key to the Porsche. "You drive back, though, okay?"

"Really?! You're gonna let me drive one of your babies?"

"I trust you, Clark. More than I've ever trusted anyone."

Clark's face crinkles in a grimace at my harken back to the day he came to borrow the red Ferrari. 

"I wasn't exactly myself that day, you get that, right?"

I nod in understanding, all too aware of the truth behind that incident. 

"Red Kryptonite makes you a little uninhibited, doesn't it?"

"Something like that."

"Hey, it's not like I've never done drugs. I get it, and it's okay, Clark." I watch as Clark closes the hidden cavern back up without so much as a goodbye to his father's…memory? I'm definitely going to have to look into that further; I don't fully trust that the A.I. has Clark's best interest in mind in its actions. "Come on, Clark, let's get back to the farm. The sooner we get there, the more time we'll have alone in your little loft."

Clark flashes a smirk to mirror mine and we walk out into the midday sun, leaving me blinking against it as my eyes adjust. I look over at him as we head back to the car, wonder sinking in at the realization that it's our yellow sun that strengthens him, gives him his amazing abilities. Weird to think that on his planet, he would be just, average. Clark Kent and average should never belong in the same sentence. 

Clark's POV:

Jeez. I knew Lex was going to take a bit of work, but I don't think I was expecting it to be this bad. He just doesn't see himself the way I do. He sees the man everyone else thinks he is, a carbon-copy of his dad. He's always so confident and sophisticated on the outside that I've forgotten about those glimpses I've seen of the insecure, yet hopeful, young man he is underneath the Luthor-scion façade. I haven't forgotten about the incident with the black Kryptonite, I haven't forgotten about how truly dark and twisted Lex has the capability to become, but I also remember how good his other side was. I remember how he tried to save me from himself, how he was willing to die along with the other Lex, just to keep me from harm. There is the capacity for terrible evil within him, as there is in most of us, but like most people, there is also the capacity for great kindness. I've seen how caring he can be.

I saw it when he fought against his father and worked out a way to lower operation costs rather than laying off a couple hundred people who were dependent on their jobs at the plant. I saw it when he did everything in his considerable power to try to save Ryan. I saw it when he paid off my parents' mortgage to keep us from losing the farm, even though he'd barely been back from his honeymoon from hell for barely a day, and the only thing he'd asked in return was to be treated, not like a Luthor, but like a Kent. I saw it when he took responsibility for his company's R&D mishap, giving himself up as guinea pig for an antidote that could have killed him. He's done so much for this town, with so little thanks in return. I know who Lex Luthor really is, I just have to make him see it, too. 

I know he still has things he hasn't told me, but I'm not going to push. He'll tell me in his own time, or he won't, but I trust him to not do anything that would end up hurting me or the people I care about. I have to believe in that. Having faith in someone isn't about making that choice after knowing all the facts, it's about making a conscious decision to trust them even when you're in the dark. He loves me, and that's something Lex Luthor doesn't do easily, or halfway. And that knowledge is enough for now. 

As I pull up the drive to the barn, I realize we still haven't gotten around to discussing the us part of our relationship. With the revelation of my apparent ability to forge a more-than-figurative bond, that kinda took a backseat. I'm not completely sure what this connection between us entails, but it's going to take another trip to the cave and a lengthy conversation with Jor-El to figure it out, so I put a pin in it for now. I still have my surprise waiting inside, and I think Lex needs it now more than ever. Grand gestures go a long way with him, after all.

I shift into park and kill the ignition before looking over at Lex, who has been unnaturally silent on the trip back. I don't think he even sees what he's looking at beyond the passenger window. I know it was a lot of information to take in all at once like that, probably even more so for a human brain, but I don't think his thoughts are really on my Kryptonian heritage. Well, self-reflection can come later; I put a lot of work into getting this just right and I'm not going to let Lex's doubts about himself rain on my parade. I take his hand in mine, feeling him startle slightly as I drag him from his introspection, and there's an almost deer-in-the-headlights look on his face when he turns to look at me. 

"Hey, it'll all work out, Lex, trust me. I believe in us."

"I do trust you, Clark. After that, how can I not? It's…it's me I'm not so sure about."

I don't know whether to shake him until he sees sense or fold him into my embrace like a swaddled infant in need of comfort, so I settle for somewhere in-between, pulling him halfway across the center console and crushing my mouth to his. I pour as much meaning into the kiss as I can, hoping he feels the love and trust I have for him. With a gentle, if somewhat annoyed, nip to his bottom lip, I push him back into his seat, slightly smug at his gasping pants for breath. I hadn't even used tongue.

"You're a good man, Lex Luthor. Anyone who actually bothers to get to know you can see that. And, I don't care how long it takes, I will make you see it, too." Unbuckling my seatbelt, I toss him the keys and start to step out of the car, trusting him to follow me instinctively. "But, not today. Today, I have something a lot better planned than trying to convince one of the most stubborn people in the world of their real worth."

He frowns at the dig, but falls into step beside me as we walk through the barn door. At the foot of the stairs, I stop him, pulling him against me, back to chest. 

"Trust me?"

He cranes his head back around to give me a put-upon look. 

"Clark…"

"Indulge me."

Huffy sigh and an eye roll, as expected.

"I trust you, Clark."

"Good." 

I press a quick kiss to his cheek and cover his eyes with one hand, the other dropping to his waist to keep him close. I guide him up the stairs without a stumble and lead him to the center of the loft.

"Clark, what's with the subterfuge? Come on, let me see, already."

There's a lightness to his voice that wasn't there when we left the car. Good. No Debbie Downers allowed. I remove my hand from over his eyes and step back, releasing my hold on him. 

He turns slowly, taking in the sight of the rearranged and redecorated loft, a confused, wide-eyed wonder growing on his face. 

The Look to the Stars banner I managed to find stashed away in the school's supply closet is stretched across one wall. Glittery streamers and twinkling lights hung from the ceiling, their effect slightly muted by the sunlight streaming in through the window, but still glinting and casting shadows around us. The furniture is all pushed back against the back wall, leaving the majority of the floor bare. I couldn't risk using mom's punch bowl that she uses during the holidays, but there were a few snacks and drinks set up on the coffee table. 

"Clark, what - what is all this?"

"Kinda thought it wasn't completely fair that the man who paid for the band didn't get to see them play, y'know?" I speed over to the table and back before he can really register that I even moved, a small remote in my hand. "Prom was great, Dawn's ghostly antics aside, I got to dance with Lana, and it was just like I had spent years dreaming it would be. But, something was missing."

I press a button on the remote, and music rings out from the speakers hidden away in the shadowy corners of the ceiling. Pocketing the remote, I reach out a hand to Lex.

"Can I have this dance?"

Wordlessly, he places his hand in mine, letting me take the lead as I pull him in close. His hands wrap around my shoulders and mine around his waist, and we begin a simple sway to the music, his face tilted up towards mine, eyes bright in the light reflecting around us.

What day is it

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up, and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

I've only known Lex for less than five years, but I feel as though I've known him all my life. Like my life didn't really start until I met him. I spent the last four years and eight months unsure of myself, and unable to admit who I really am. The last twenty-four hours have been the best, most freeing, hours of my life, and I mourn all the hours between that moment on the river bank and now. I just need to make him understand. He's not the only one struggling here, not the only one who's vulnerable.

"You've done so much for other people, Lex, without even being asked, without even caring about the recognition. I mean, who even pays what was probably an ungodly amount of money to fly a real, popular, band out to the middle of nowhere for a high school dance, unbidden? I wouldn't have even known that you organized it if Chloe hadn't told me."

'Cause it's you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me

And all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

"I did it for you, you know. I wanted your high school experience to be complete." He's still staring at me, wide-eyed and marveling. His voice is soft, almost below my range of hearing, like he doesn't know if he wants me to hear it. "I skipped my prom. I couldn't very well show up with the one person I really wanted to, and none of the girls from our sister school seemed an acceptable replacement. I'm not very fond of what I remember of that night. This…this is better."

"It's better for me, too. 'Cause it's you."

What are the things that I want to say

Just aren't coming out right?

I'm tripping on words

You got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

"Clark," his voice so raw, trembling, and I've never heard it that way, not even last night, when we were stripped bare in every way. "I'm…I'm not good at this. At relationships, at love. And I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone, or anything in this fucking world. But I - Clark, I don't know how - how to do this, how to love you and not hurt you and not be afraid of being hurt."

'Cause it's you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me

And all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

God, I love this man in my arms. I want to show him what I see, but I don't know how to put it any plainer than I already have. I hate the world that has made him so jaded and scared so young. We've stopped moving, just staring at each other as the song continues on, neither of us blinking for long stretches of time.

"You do, Lex. I've seen it. When you're not trying to be the man your father spent years trying to mold you into. When you're completely yourself, you're one of the best people I know." 

There's something about you now

That I can't quite figure out

Everything she does is beautiful

Everything she does is right

"Just…help me? If-if I fuck up, if I slip into that man I don't want to be?"

'Cause it's you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you and me

And all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why

I can't keep my eyes off of you

"Always, Lex. We balance each other. That's what people who are meant to be together do."

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

The song ends, and I release him, reaching for the remote and stopping the music before the next song begins, needing the silence. Until this moment, I hadn't decided on whether to give him this next part of the surprise or to wait until we were more settled. I know now, there will be no moment better than this. Forcing myself not to speed, I cross back over to the makeshift refreshment table and pick up the metal box I had hidden behind a bag of chips. Lana had wondered why I asked for it back after all this time, but she accepted my bumbling explanation with the same grace she always does, even through the glint of sadness that flashed behind her eyes when she handed over the lead box made from St. George's armor. I think she sensed the finality of the dance between us as she placed it into my waiting hand. If she ever sees the box in Lex's possession, I don't think it would take her long to put two and two together. 

Fingering the blunt spikes lined along the sides nervously, I start the music again, leaving the remote on the table, and cross back to where Lex is still standing, waiting, his eyes flitting down to the box and back up to mine in confusion.

Lex's POV:

How many times can a person be overwhelmed with emotion in such a short span of time? I had expected Clark to lead me up here for some simple, distracting, fooling around before running the risk of being caught by either elder Kent or the ever-nosy Ms. Lane. Not this. No one's ever done anything like this for me. 

I'm confused by the St. George box in his hands, and the opening strains of guitar coming from the speakers makes my heart clench slightly in trepidation. Whatever's inside is obviously important, like every moment of the last twenty-four hours has been. 

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you

The funny thing is, I'd never even heard of Lifehouse until I started searching for the perfect band to play at Clark's prom. Chloe had given me a burned cd of the most popular alt rock and pop songs of the last four years, and the second I'd heard You and Me, I knew they were it. My decision had been cemented after I did a bit of research and came across a few more of their singles that seemed like someone had gained insider information on just how deeply my feelings for Clark ran. I'd listened to them so many times, their words were imprinted at the back of my brain. Wonder how  much it would cost to keep them on retainer.

"I thought you gave that to Lana?"

"I did. I thought it was time it was returned to its rightful owner, along with something else I once mistook as being meant for her."

Clark handed me the box, and I opened it warily, wondering if it was perhaps some kind of test involving Kryptonite. Instead of a green, glowing meteorite, within the lead box, lay a thick-banded silver bracelet with a diamond-shaped, blue-hued opal delicately placed within the circular cutout in its center. 

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

"This…Clark, isn't this the bracelet from the cave drawing? The one with the girl?"

Clark stepped closer and carefully, almost reverently, plucked the bracelet from the box, letting the gem catch the light and throw it back across the room, dazzling me even further. 

"According to the Kawatche legend, this is meant to be given by Naman to the one he's destined to be with." He hesitates, his fingers tracing around the pattern pressed into the edges of the silver. "Over the two years I've had this, I almost gave this to three other people; Kyla, Lana, and Alicia, but something held me back. I'll always miss Kyla and Alicia, always regret that we didn't get to follow things to a natural conclusion, but I don't think either of those relationships would have ended any differently than it did with Lana, even with them knowing about my abilities. You don't have to wear it, obviously, but if I am Naman, then, Segeeth or not, this belongs to you."

Forgetting all I'm lacking, completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation, you take all of me now

I take the proffered bracelet from him, my fingers lingering as they brush over his. Setting the box down on the floor, I pointedly clamp the bracelet around my wrist, the open ends just lightly touching to mold almost perfectly to the shape of my wrist. I can see the emotions swimming in his eyes, a surge of unexpected confidence washing through me. Clark loves me, trusts me despite everything. 

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

"I'd be honored to wear it whenever I can, Clark." I wish my voice didn't sound so raw in my own ears. "Sometimes, it's better not to fight destiny."

There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find

There's nothing in the world that can change my mind

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

There is nothing else

The smile he flashes is stunningly bright, a shaky laugh falling from his lips, and I can't help but pull him to me. 

Desperate for changing, starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started, I'm chasing after you

I feel his arms slip back around me as I capture his mouth, sealing all the promises we've made each other today, both spoken and silent. My lips part under his as he takes control of the kiss, my eyes falling shut. 

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know

I'm running and not quite sure where to go

And I don't know what I'm diving into

Just hanging by a moment here with you

At the first touch of his tongue against mine, I moan, my nascent arousal surging startlingly back into overdrive. As he clutches me close, I can feel the evidence of his own desire pressing against my hip and I can't help but buck up into the girth of him. I want him now. In me. Even more than I did last night. I feel like I've woken up on that river bank all over again, a rush of renewed life flowing through me, the lips of an angel, my angel, breathing his essence into my lungs to lead to redemption. 

Just hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment here with you

Hanging by a moment

Hanging by a moment here with you

As the song trails down to an end, I break the kiss, feeling slightly off-kilter.

"Uh, Clark, we're floating again." 

I can't help but laugh at his sheepish look. At least nothing caught fire. The next song starts as we touch back down upon the wooden slats of the loft, and I sober quickly. 

A strangled smile fell from your face

What kills me that I hurt you this way

The worst part is that I didn't even know

Now there's a million reasons for you to go

But if you can find a reason to stay

"Is there still time before anyone comes back, Clark?"

He casts a quick look out the window, and I can see the laser-focus in his eyes as he scans the distance.

"Plenty. Dad's busy enough for the next couple hours, at least, and mom's just now going on break with Lois at the Talon." He crushes his lips back to mine, and he seems to be just as hungry for it as I am, a big hand sliding around my head to keep me from pulling away too quickly. I gasp into his mouth at the feel of his thumb caressing over the bump at the base of my skull, the gentle touch an unexpected shock to my system. "What do you want, Lex? Hmm? Want me to suck you off properly this time, baby? Wanna fuck me? God, I just, I love you so much, Lex. So beautiful, inside and out. Want to make you see that. Anything, baby, just tell me."

"I want you in me again, Clark. Need it." I'm moaning in-between kisses, grinding up into the hand that slides teasingly over my crotch. Turning my face into the curve of his shoulder, I let the fear seep out. "Fuck, please, baby, show me. Show me how much you love me. Show me what I'm fighting against the Luthor name for. God, Clark, I don't know how to be that man you see, but I want to. I want to be worthy of you."

"Dammit, Lex, you already are. Just by being here, by trying even though you're afraid."

I'll do whatever it takes

To turn this around

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

In a whirl of air, Clark is gone, leaving me feeling bereft. The tortuous emotion is fleeting, as he is back in front of me, taking my hand again and leading me over to a shadowed corner of the loft where there's an impromptu set-up of blankets and pillows. 

I expected another mad rush to nudity, but he simply dips his head to brush his lips against my own as his fingers untangle from mine, sliding up my arms and across my shoulders, down my chest to the hem of my shirt. Thumbs caress briefly over my abdomen before he slowly tugs the shirt up, my arms raising without thought for him to pull the slightly sweat-dampened cotton over my head. 

I've never been undressed by a lover like this. So reverently, like unveiling my pale, nearly hairless, skin was something to be savored rather than a means to an end. Clark's kissing me again, a slow, sweeping exploration of my mouth that exudes such a quiet desperation that I can't even try to fight against it, merely allow it. 

When he finally relinquishes my mouth, I tug his shirt off, eyes roaming over golden skin that should never have to be covered by a single stitch. My hands join in, running slowly over dips and planes, my head starting to follow their path until Clark stops me with his forefinger under my chin, nudging me back up. 

And if you give me a chance

Believe that I can change

I'll keep us together

Whatever it takes

A whisper of a kiss to my lips before that sweet, sinful mouth of his starts a trail along my jaw, down my throat, feather-light, his hands sliding up my sides and over my chest. His lips work their way across one shoulder, tongue sliding slowly over the freckles I know are there. I swallow hard, trying to will away the tremble I feel running through me, my hands clenching lightly on his hips as he travels along my collarbone to the other shoulder, teeth clamping, oh so gently, over the skin stretched tight across bone. 

I watch the top of his head as he continues his downward path, kissing and licking, tasting, every bit of me he comes in contact with, thumbs sliding up to scrape over my nipples, sending a jolt of electricity straight to my aching cock.

A broken moan escapes me, and Clark's dips briefly into my navel, swirling erotically around the indent before kneeling on the hard wooden floor. His eyes raise back to mine, deep pools of onyx within thin rings of emerald, and I want to capture that look in stone, in something I can wear, always, and remember this moment. This instant, with his head upturned to watch me watching him, his hands slipping down to the waist of my jeans, fingers easing the button through its hole, sliding the zipper down so excruciatingly slowly that I swear I hear each tooth parting.

She said if we're gonna make this work

You gotta let me inside even though it hurts

Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see

Fly open, he groans softly as he discovers I've gone commando, pressing his face into the sparse russet curls and inhaling deeply, the movement visible in the muscles of his bare back. So close to freedom from its denim confines and Clark's mouth, I feel a spurt of pre-cum ooze from my cock, so much like Pavlov's dog drooling at the sound of the bell. Addicted to him already. Hands slide down my legs, and I curve forward slightly, my hands now on his shoulders to stabilize myself as he lifts first one foot, then the other, removing shoes and socks before pulling my jeans down, helping me step out of them.

Face back on mine as his hands wrap around my hips and he leans forward, engulfing me in the heat of his mouth. Swallows me down in one slick slide of lips and tongue, until I'm pressing at the back of his throat. It takes everything in my vast well of willpower not to tear my gaze away from his, let my head fall back on my shoulders, as he shifts me back and forth, guiding my hips into a steady, if too slow, pace. Christ, too much and not enough, and this is not the way it's supposed to be, so sweet and gentle and not at all the overwhelming and almost brutal taking of last night. 

Not supposed to go this way. Never has. No one has ever been so gentle, so passionate, so caring, not with me. Not even…no. Blink away the memory of blue eyes and swim in the green staring up at me. I don't deserve this, this barrier-breaking affection and selfless attention as he lets me take over, thrusting down his throat, his jaw going slack to take me so completely, lips brushing against the sensitive skin at the base of my cock with every push in. I'm a Luthor, and this is not what Luthors are given, never willingly, not with such blind trust and complete faith, never when it isn't a well-masked lie paid for exorbitantly.

A sound like a sob slips past my lips before I can choke it back, sight momentarily blurry until I can blink away the salt sting. Clark's face changes minutely, just enough to show it didn't escape his scrutiny. His hands tighten on my hips just enough to halt me mid-thrust. One last, slow, backward pull along the shaft of my throbbing cock before he releases it from its newly found haven.

She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be

You've gotta love yourself if you can ever love me

His mouth shapes into those two lines of verse, and a shudder wracks through me, and my eyes fall shut, trying to block out the world, him. 

"I…I don't know if I can." I wrench my eyes open again, hand sliding up into Clark's hair, tugging forcefully, enough that it would hurt anyone else to resist. He gets the demand behind the action, allows me to pull him up to standing, to guide his mouth to mine in a kiss that rattles me more than it does him. Tongues overlapping, sweeping into each other's mouths, his hands still tight on my hips, and I moan desperately against his lips as my cock drags over the rough denim of his jeans. "Teach me, Clark, show me how. Make me trust myself the way you trust me, the way I trust you."

I'll do whatever it takes

To turn this around

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

And if you give me a chance

And give me a break

I'll keep us together

Without breaking the kiss completely, Clark manages to maneuver us down onto the pile of bedding, the remainder of his clothing lost in the transition from standing to stretched out above me. No thought involved as legs spread wide to accommodate the span of his waist between them as he settles, the brush of his cock against mine making me pulse again, slicking the slide as he rocks into me. 

My hands fall away from him to stretch above my head in surrender, (when had I even given in so completely?), as he pulls back slightly, his face more serious and open than I remember ever seeing it. A bottle of lube from fuck knows where, wetting fingers that disappear between us as I keep my gaze on him. Gasp out a breath when his hand grazes my aching cock for the briefest moment before continuing its way further down, my legs spreading wider, hips canting up, as slippery fingers slide over that sensitive bit of skin behind my balls and down, between, there. Flicker of heat in Clark's eyes as the pad of a finger finds that furled ring of muscle, only the merest circling needed before it relaxes, welcoming the intrusion. 

Years of sex without bottoming, without another man's fingers inside me, and after just one time with him, already it feels so natural, opening to him, giving him this part of me. And so different than last night, my urgent, raw need for more and more, replaced with a connoisseur's appreciation of his quickly learned skill. Savoring the way he eases his forefinger into me, his free hand at my hip, pinning me to the floor, the disallowment of movement allowing me to just lay there, just let myself really feel it, the way I never have before. It's…transcendent. His eyes, boring into mine, willing me to understand, to see myself the way he does. 

I'd let the knowledge of the literal bond between us fade into the background once we'd arrived at the barn, distracted by all of - this. I feel it again, now, a thrum running between us, and I can't help but gasp. 

"Clark." God, my voice has never sounded so ragged in my own ears, my breath coming out in short, audible huffs, and I have a flash of fear that my asthma has suddenly returned under the strain of so much emotion after years of denial. "Oh, God, please."

Another finger slips into me, Clark's head dipping down to brush his lips over mine as the digits stroke and stretch. There's no burn to it, surprisingly, even though I know my accelerated healing would have undone nearly all of last night's work by now. Just the slightest pinch as muscle loosens, and then pleasure, pure and honest pleasure. I feel the steady drip of pre-cum slicking my stomach as he thrusts slowly, have to fight the urge to reach down and touch, knowing it probably would bring this all to an embarrassingly quick end. I've made sex last for hours before cumming even once, but with him, it's just. Right. There. He tests my stamina and will with every touch, every look. 

I know you deserve much better

Remember the time I told you the way that I felt

And that I'd be lost without you and never find myself

Let's hold onto each other above everything else

Start over, start over

A few more strokes, and a third finger wiggles in, slightly snug, but still painless. I can tell he's deliberately avoiding my prostate, attempting to make this the least difficult for me that he can. I know there's wetness shining in the corners of my eyes, and know he notices it when his brow furrows minutely. Thankfully, he doesn't break the silence he's kept since he started stripping me bare. 

Barely notice the addition of his pinky, and I swear, he could fist me right now, and it wouldn't be any more difficult than the slight tug of skin as it's stretched taut around the breadth of his knuckles. If this moment wasn't so enthralling, if his face weren't so intently solemn, I might have begged for it. As it is, I already feel so completely owned, a realization that should have alarmed someone so thoroughly un-ownable as me. He's claimed me, through and through; I will never find this myriad swirl of emotions in the attentions of anyone else, even if I searched across the entire universe. God, I want to be worthy of this man, and he believes I already am. Fuck. I'm going to have to make some enormous changes in LuthorCorp. 

To turn this around

I'll do whatever it takes

I know what's at stake

I know that I've let you down

And if you give me a chance

Believe that I can change

I'll keep us together

Whatever it takes

One more deep, gentle stroke, and suddenly gone. Empty for the briefest second, barely enough to voice a mournfully breathy, pathetic, sound of disappointment, before the thick tip of his cock is breaching me. None of that hesitancy of night, no need for guidance, just the slow, steady slide of steel-hard flesh. Hand no longer pinning me in place, and my legs shift to brace against his sides as he stretches back out over me, hands wrapping firmly around my forearms, bracing us both. Feeling of fullness as he bottoms out, and a flare of light and heat from the band of silver clamped around my wrist.

Clark's POV:

Y'know, one of these days I'm going to have sex with Lex where he doesn't shed a single tear. It better be soon, or I'm gonna end up with some kind of complex. But, unlike last night's mystery tear, these don't seem borne of pain, more like a cleansing. Like he's finally just letting it all wash over him, soak in, and maybe it will scour away the doubt and fear he has of himself. I don't know how much clearer I can be on how I feel about him, about my trust in him to be his own Lex, not the carbon-copy Lionel tried so hard to shape him into. I don't have any more words, action is all that's left, and if the damp streaks down his cheeks are anything to go by, there's been at least some headway.

Find me here and speak to me

I want to feel you, I need to hear you

You are the light that's leading me

To the place where I find peace again

I'm not sure if he can even hear the music anymore, hard to tell what's making it past the intense focus he has trained on our lovemaking. I'll be sure to play this one again, repeatedly, just to make sure he gets the message. 

The feel of him around me, under me, is even more incredible than before. More than just giving into our lust for each other, this is Lex, the most willful, independent person I know, seeking guidance, asking me for help, for strength. And how could I ever deny him?

You are the strength that keeps me walking

You are the hope that keeps me trusting

You are the life to my soul

You are my purpose, you're everything

Taking the flare of light from the bracelet as a good sign, since it doesn't seem to be hurting Lex, I ease my way back, feeling my cock drag through the clenching passage. Nearly out of him as my hands slide down his arms to link my fingers through his, bracing, claiming. Slow push back into the twitching hole that opens so willingly for me, makes it so easy to be careful. 

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

Yeah

I feel a thrum run through me, spreading out from my chest, down and outward towards Lex, like the brief connection I felt in the caves when Jor-El was transferring information into his mind. I'll have to ask Lex some time if he senses it, too. Later. Much later. 'Cause, God, not sure if I can utter anything more coherent than his name between the groans I can't hold in. 

Watery smile on his face now, small, but significant all the same, considering the startled look in his eyes. His legs lifting, wrapping around my thighs, heels digging into my ass, a wordless plea for more. And how can I deny him anything right now, with him all open and vulnerable and willing to let me be in control? 

You calm the storms and you give me rest

You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall

You still my heart and you take my breath away

Would you take me in, take me deeper now?

I make a quick sweep over his lithe, pale body, unable not to notice the weeping, reddened cock twitching against his stomach, its contrast that much more obvious as he strains to stay still beneath me. I pull one hand free from his as I thrust slowly, deeply into him, my fingers trailing down his arm and over to his throat, thumb tracing along his jaw. Dipping my head to capture his mouth, my hand slides down to pluck briefly at his nipple, causing Lex to moan into my mouth, before gripping around his thigh, hiking the flexing limb higher up my back. The new position lets me slip deeper into him, and Lex wrenches away from the kiss, his head arching back with a jagged keen. 

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

Rubbing my hand over his upper thigh like I'm soothing a startled horse, I thrust again, keeping aim on his prostate now that I've found it. 

"Clark! Please…I - oh, God, don't - don't stop. Don't ever stop."

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

And this, this is what was missing last night. Pure, raw need, untempered by the haze of lust and four years worth of jerk-off fantasies. That was rutting, animalistic and dirty in all the best ways, but this. This is something more. Divine. 

Lex's free hand clutches around my neck, fingers twining into my hair, his other clutching my hand tight, nails trying to dig into flesh. Pressed against him like this, I can feel his cock throb, feel the slick warmth as another spurt of pre-cum rushes out. He's sobbing softly, his head turning away into the pillows. I bury my face in the curve of his throat, inhaling the sweat-slick scent of him, and wish I could mark him visibly, worry that bit of flesh between my teeth and show the world that he is mine. This beautiful, fractured, amazing, human is mine. 

You're everything, everything

'Cause you're all I want, you're all I need

You're all I want, you're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want, you're all I need

You're everything, everything

You're all I want, you're all I need

Everything, everything

Tangled around each other, we fall into a rhythm, his body arching up into mine as I thrust into him. As slow as I've kept the pace, I can still feel my orgasm rushing towards me sooner than I thought possible. Lex flexes, his ass clenching around me, and I know it's a losing battle. 

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

"I love you, Lex. So much. God, you're beautiful, baby, just…perfect. Look at me, Lex." I watch his eyes close for a moment, some internal war taking place, before he turns his face back to mine. Jesus, he's breathtaking like this, all his walls down, and it's like I can see straight into his soul, flawed and perfect at the same time. "No matter what happens, I'll never feel like this with anyone else. I chose you before I even knew there was a choice to make."

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better, any better than this?

Lex's hand slides around to cup my face, his eyes boring into mine. My thrusts stilled, my cock protesting the sudden lack of friction.

"I-I can't promise I'll never fail you, Clark, but I promise to never stop trying. Since the day of the meteor shower, my life has felt…disconnected, incomplete." Lex let out a soft laugh, his warm breath ghosting over my lips as I stared down at him. "That feeling disappeared the moment I woke up on the riverbank, and saw the eyes of an angel looking down at me."

And how can I stand here with you

And not be moved by you?

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

He drew me into a deep, sensual kiss before I could respond. Not that I'm sure I would have been able to say anything more impressive than 'wow'. If there had been any lingering doubt that maybe there was someone out there better suited to me, that squashed it. Lex is only human, to expect him not to fail at some point, to never slip back into the darkness that had surrounded him for so long, would be naïve. But, even if he does take a wrong turn on his path, I know now that he'll let me help lead him back in the right direction. As he kissed me, he writhed against me, thrusting down on my cock, urging me back into action. 

"God", he whispered against my lips, voice rough and so thoroughly erotic. "Need to cum, Clark. Make me cum, baby."

And that was it. The tenuous hold I had on my own arousal snapped. With a deep groan that almost sounded like a growl in my ears, I clutched Lex to me as I began a faster pace, my tongue thrusting into his mouth in a mirror of my cock. I could feel my climax racing closer, my balls pulling up tight, that electric tingle pooling at the base of my spine.

Orgasm looming, and wanting Lex right there with me, I slid my hand up from his leg to wrap around his cock, swallowing his moans as I started stroking the thick shaft. It doesn't take much, a few firm strokes, my thumb brushing over the head of his cock in time with each nudge of my own against his prostate, and he stiffens beneath me. Bottomed out within him, his cry of pleasure smothered within my mouth, I feel the surge of warmth rush over my hand and against our stomachs as he cums. His nails are scraping at my impenetrable skin, tugging at my hair, and his internal muscles are clamping down on me, tight enough to actually register beyond my invulnerability. All senses narrowed down to Lex, the scent of his cum, the taste of his tongue on mine, the sound and feel of him coming completely undone. It's enough to send me falling over the edge just behind him, pulsing inside him, the backflow of my cum slicking my already sticky cock as I continue thrusting into him, riding him through our mutual release. 

Would you tell me how could it be

Any better than this?

Panting heavily, half-sobs hiccuping throughout, Lex goes limp in my embrace the instant his climax ends, limbs unwinding from their tangle around my body to flop unceremoniously to the floor. If he weren't so devastatingly beautiful like this, it would almost be comical. As it is, the sight of him as I open my eyes, all sprawled out and attempting to recover his wits, tear tracks down his cheeks and lips red and slightly puffy from abuse, leaves me breathless as I freeze above him, two last, powerful spurts of cum emptying into him.

"Lex," and Christ, my voice is raspy in my own ears as I finally speak, barely remembering not to just flop down on top of him. "You okay?"

He hums in acknowledgement, pulling me down onto him, seeking comfort as he comes back to himself. My deflating cock slips out of his stretched hole on a rush of wet warmth, and I can't even find it in myself to care about the mess that's going to leave. Plenty of time to hide the blanket in the laundry later. Lex snuggles into me as I roll us onto our sides, my hand rubbing down his back soothingly. Distantly, I notice the CD has started back at the beginning and the soft sound of Lex's voice singing along draws my gaze to his face. 

"Seriously, Lex. That was…intense…are you sure you're alright?"

"I will be. Trust me, Clark, I'm good at compartmentalizing. I just want to be here, with you, right now. I'll process it all later."

I sigh and give him a wary look as he gives me a quick kiss before pulling himself upright, looking around us for his discarded clothes. 

"Okay, but…promise me, if you start having some kind of freak-out, all alone in that empty castle of yours, surrounded by…everything…call me? I'll hear you, even without a phone, and I'll be there in seconds. You don't have to go through this alone, Lex. This is new, and scary, exciting, but scary, for me, too. We have to navigate this together."

I know Lex. I know, that left to his own devices, with no one to confide in, to work things out with, he'll internalize everything and let his own doubts override everything else. And that could never lead anywhere good.

Lex smiles down at me as he stands, reaching out a hand to pull me up with him. There's a lot going on behind those bright blue eyes, but I see the walls falling back into place, shuttering away the deep turmoil that had been there before. He pulls me into a tight hug, briefly nuzzling his nose into my neck.

"I promise, Clark."

Lex releases me and starts rooting around for his jeans. I have to look away when he bends down to retrieve them, my spent cock twitching interestedly at the sight of his ass, the light glistening on the trails of cum wetting the backs of his thighs. Busying myself with my own redressing distracts my teenage libido enough that I'm not too uncomfortable by the time I pull my zipper up.

Once we're both dressed, I pull him into my arms, my eyes roving over his face, memorizing. There's still a bit of openness there, enough to see the determination to succeed cementing within him. When a Luthor sets themself on a goal, it's like a dog with a bone. A soft smile twists my lips as I dip my head to capture his mouth, my tongue soothing over his kiss-bruised lips before delving between them.

I'm so focused on Lex, his taste and the scent of his sweat and cum still filling my senses, I barely hear the soft gasp over the sound of his moan and the music still playing from the speakers. The clatter and crash of ceramic on the wooden floor breaks through, though. Wrenching away from each other, as one, our heads whip around towards the stairs. I gulp loudly at the sight of the figure standing on the top step. 

"Oh, my God."

*******

@leatafandom

[xxlady-lunaxx]

Confession, rejection, acceptance, repeat | {KokuZan}

Theme: Angst, angst, and more angst 🤩✨

"Yes? What would you like?" Muzan asked, turning to his highest ranked demon.

"Uh.. Master, I would like to, uh, ask you...out?" Kokushibo said nervously. For over thirty years his crush on his king had only grown. And only just a couple months before, the other uppermoons had found out. They'd pushed him to confess ever since he told them and he'd finally decided he would today. Which was what he was currently doing.

Muzan cocked his head to the side, confused. Ask him out? To leave the room or...? 

But reading his uppermoon's mind proved he'd gotten it completely wrong.

Forcing away the heat that was rising up to his face, Muzan quickly got ahold of himself. "Kokushibo," he said.

The said demon looked up and met the red-pink eyes of his crush with the six of his own. "Hm?"

"No."

The word bounced around the room several times before it sank into Kokushibo's mind and he realized what his master meant. "...No?" he whispered, more to himself than to the other.

Muzan nodded and turned to leave. He paused at the doorway, though, and said, "Oh, and, tell the other uppermoons that if they so much as think about any of these stupid relationship things, they can forget they ever existed. That goes to you, too, Kokushibo. I'm surprised you even considered it. And for thirty years?" He shook his head, disappointed, and left, leaving Kokushibo to process what had just happened.

___________________ "I knew it. I told you he wouldn't accept it.." Kokushibo repeated for the 10th time, looking off into the distance.

Daki sighed and continued rubbing Kokushibo's back. Usually it was the elder of the two acting as the comforter, but this time Daki had to play the part to her father figure. "I'm sure he's just in shock."

"No.. no, he was clear about it. If he thought we might be together at any point he wouldn't have put such restrictions.. He's right, though. I can't let myself think such things, I mustn't ponder this any longer." Kokushibo's mind was set. Kind of. Well, not really. A little. ...Not at all, if he was honest, but he had to obey his Master's orders. He got up and gave Daki the fakest smile ever. "I'll be fine, no need to worry. I apologize for this inconvenience. I'll see you later." (BRO HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT- Edit: Nvm i fixed it 😁)

He left without another word.

Daki sighed again and looked down. If she hadn't pushed him to confess this wouldn't have happened. How had she messed everything up.. 

Douma walked in and sat next to Daki. "Don't worry, they both just need time to think about it!" He clapped cheerfully. "I'm sure in no time they'll be together."

From behind the two uppermoons, Akaza groaned in annoyance. "Master literally said we can't even as much as think about those kinds of things, stop acting like it's going to happen. Because as much as we want it, the Master's word is his word and we can't disobey."

The blond nodded, still acting as optimistic as ever. Akaza sighed. Daki rolled her eyes at the two and got up. "I've got to go now, you two stop fighting." And at that, she left.

___________________

For another week, Kokushibo grew restless. He couldn't believe he had actually gone out there and asked Muzan that. Or that he had been rejected. The humiliation and disappointment weighed down on him. The other Uppermoons tried desperatly to cheer him up, but as much as he appreciated their attempts, it did nothing to lift his spirits. He was just to sadened about this to be happy.

Meanwhile, Muzan couldn't get his mind off of this. He was surprised, shocked, flustered (although he would never admit it), and apprehensive. He didn't know how to feel about this but he did know (or at least he thought he did) that he shouldn't accept this confession. It would get in the way of everything. Of course, he felt that that might be wrong but... who would listen to their heart anyways. That was weak and for humans. Which was how they were always so vulnerable and fearful. Getting attatched caused problems.

Then again.

If he didnt accept, who knows how long he'll be thinking about this on and on. He couldn't stop, and if he didn't at least consider accepting then who knows how long he might think about it. But of course that was the whole point. Distracting him from important matters.

He sighed, annoyed. Why were emotions so annoying and complicated?!

Muzan rolled his eyes at himself. Whatever, this wasn't worth his time.

But then an hour later he caught himself thinking about it, yet again. What was wrong with him? Had these emotions gotten ahold of his head...?

___________________

Kokushibo sat in his study, reading. 

Kiyoko took his hands and smiled up at him. "What I would give to live with you forever." She smiled softly and faded away, leaving Hiroshi crying deeply as his lover disappeared in his arms.

The Uppermoon paused, wondering why he was reading this. He'd gotten so into the book that he hadn't even realized he was reading a romance novel. Was this because he wanted to replicate this with Muzan? ....Wait.

Why couldn't he just stop thinking about this? Every day it was Muzan this, Muzan that. Wishing he was in his arms now, knowing that he'd never be then. What was with him? He had to stop this. Push down all these disrupting feelings. No. More. Emotions. 

Sometimes he wished he could be like Douma. Never feeling real emotions, only faking. It would make things all the more easier. He got up and tucked the book back into the bookshelf. That was enough thinking. He had to accept his fate. Enough of this wanting, he was done with wisihgn he had something he would never get. Leaving the room, he vowed he wouldn't have anything to do with love again. Never ever.

_________________

Muzan was having completely different thoughts. He felt as if he shouldn't have been so harsh on his uppermoon. Besides, he had always favored his top ranked Uppermoon best. Which was one of the reason Kokushibo was Upper 1. And besides, there was something there. He hated to admit it, but he had definitely flushed JUST A LITTLE (totally-) when the confession had risen. So maybe he should accept this? Maybe.. 

He looked around. Where was Kokushibo? He would accept the confession now. Two weeks of thinking was enough, who cares about the restrictions he'd set. They didn't matter anymore. He was going to get Kokushibo and accept the stupid (or not) confession. He couldn't take it anymore, too much thinking and theorizing and restless nights of worry. He was going to give his own confession to his favorite Uppermoon.

_________________

Kokushibo had been called to see Muzan for a reason he did not know. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

 Muzan looked up. When he realized it was Kokushibo, he took a deep breath to get himself ready before he said, "Come in." He motioned for the other to sit across from him as the demon strode in. "I know you're wondering why I have summoned you here, and, well, the matter is quite simple. It's a matter adressing what happened a couple weeks ago. Your... 'confession.'" 

The room grew painfully quiet as the demon king waited for an answer. Then, "Yes?" Kokushibo wondered if it was to reprimand (me writing that but only vaguely knowing what it means) him for thinking about it. But whatever it was, at least he had decided to let it go and stop paying so much attention to it, right?"

Muzan took a deep breath, deciding to let Kokushibo have his privacy and not read his mind. If they were going to do this, he needed everything to work out as he wanted. "Well. I'm going to.. accept it. Or rather, I'll confess something as well. I.. I'm asking you out."

Kokushibo was beyond shocked. "Wait what?"

"I'm asking you out," Muzan repeated, getting impaitent.

"No.. I heard what you said but.. I'm just.. surprised."

"Yes, I suppose you would be. But anyways, now you can accept this an-" the shorter of the two was cut off by Kokushibo.

"No. I am going to reject this. I apologize, Master, but I have no interest in this sort of love nonsense." And with that, he got up and left, leaving the demon king, the one who got everything he wanted and everything had to be his way, alone.

"....." Muzan was shocked. How could he have just been rejected? Him? The demon lord? Been rejected by his own subject? ....this couldn't be happening. How. Why?! He got up to storm after Kokushibo but then paused. This.. humiliation, this embarrassment and disappointment.. It was how Kokushibo must've felt when he'd rejected him, right?

He sat back down and slumped in his chair. He supposed he deserved this, then. But.. how would he go about this? Kokushibo had gone with acceptance.. Suppose he did the same? It wouldn't be easy but.. that's just life for you. Was this how it was for the humans as well? Perhaps emotions had more to them than fragility....

Word count: 1523

{Look I didn't know where to end it ok- But anyways this was too short 😞

Anyways, ignore the amount of spelling mistakes in this, I was too lazy to look up the proper spelling.}

Edit: AGAIN I WROTE THIS A WHILE AGO AND ON WATTPAD SO IT'S KINDA GOOFY BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT 😭

[asifyoucouldoutreadme]

Hermione Granger is riding a career high: her biography on Voldemort was a smash hit, her agent Blaise Zabini has just negotiated a lucrative new contract with her publisher, and her follow-up work on the writing of Hogwarts: A History already has buzz. She is happy… happyish… content… fine. Definitely not interested in reconnecting with her former childhood bully, even if he possesses a first edition she’d kill to get her hands on. But their explosive reunion poses more questions than answers and Hermione finds herself curious about more than the contents of a book.

OR

Hermione and Draco reunite to heal, write a book, fall in love, and solve a cold case.

6,121 Words (1/? Chapters WIP)

Read the first chapter!

EXCERPT:

“I loved Pureblood Hypocrisy ,” Malfoy muttered, cutting short the spiraling of her mind. His voice was almost lost in the ambient noise of the pub, and she felt him speak more than she heard him.

Whirling in her chair to face him, she caught his eyes completing a scan of the room. His comment had to have more complicated intentions than bearing a compliment, but she was automatically distracted with the reference to her last book.

“Is that your biography of the Dark Lord?” Theo asked, embracing the change of topic with an eagerness that made Hermione cringe.

“Yes,” she answered coldly, eyes never straying from Malfoy’s blank face. “As you may recall, I sent you a fair amount of owls to try and schedule an interview.”

“You did,” he confirmed casually. The disregard grated against every single one of her nerves.

“You didn’t feel the need to respond?” Hermione asked, attempting to match his insouciance. She could see from Blaise’s worried face that she wasn’t pulling it off.

“Silence speaks for itself,” he shrugged, watching the remnants of his drink spin at the bottom of his glass before downing it.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Hermione sneered, knuckles white against her mug. “Almost as if you still hold some loyalty to your former master.”

The entire table froze, silent until Blaise forced out a strained laugh.

Malfoy defrosted at the sound, relaxing into his chair and giving her a tight smile. “I’m sure you can relate to finding a topic that hits too close to home.”

“Apt wording, considering you welcomed the man into your home,” Hermione countered.

“It is not a period of time that I wish to revisit,” he gritted out, avoiding her provocation. Somehow it only fueled her wrath.

“Mustn't dwell on the past, not when you're so very culpable,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

Malfoy leaned forward, eyes molten and nostrils flaring. She could feel his hot breath on her cheek, sharp with alcohol and faintly minty. “I’ve paid my dues,” he growled.

Hermione laughed. Her mouth curved into a dark smile, but Theo smothered the fire growing on her tongue before she could release it.

“I’ve heard wonderful things!” He nearly shouted, slowly adjusting the volume of his voice as he rambled on. “About your book. I only read when I’m paid to, I’m afraid, but I’ve heard wonderful things. Never been much of a reader, outside of school. More of a numbers man, myself.”

“It’s still on the top seller list, three years later,” Blaise provided helpfully.

Theo gasped, overselling his astonishment. “You don’t say!”

Malfoy rolled his eyes, pushing back in his chair and glaring out at the room. It seemed he enjoyed being managed as little as she did.

[zanydreamlandwonderland]

When I was young 2

It had been quite a few months since Emma had come to stay at our house. In the meantime she had started attending the local school, where I also went.

At night I had become accustomed to hearing Emma's sweet moans, when she caressed herself before falling asleep, that I almost didn't pay attention to them anymore, and when I happened to hear them, I fantasized by stretching my fingers in my most hidden parts, finding a way to fall asleep peacefully.

One evening I heard Emma breathing differently, in the dark, I asked what was wrong. She answered that she was very cold and had shivers. So I got out of my bed and entered hers, holding her close. "How are you now Emma?" - "Better" She replied "Press closer to me".

I tried to hug her tighter, encircling her waist, which she did with me too. I felt her arms around my waist and her hands sliding down my hips until they reached my buttocks. His face in the dark was turned towards me I felt the heat of his breath, of his mouth, I felt the smell of the toothpaste of his breath close that mixed with the smell of his saliva. Suddenly I felt his mouth lean on mine.

It was a new sensation never felt, his lips seemed to have a fever, they were hot, for the first time I felt the desire to leave my world that I knew until then to discover distant lands.

With a certain fear but with a great desire to feel his warmth, I pushed my tongue between his lips, I pushed it into his mouth as if there were no bottom. But I found his tongue that came towards mine, that moved and rolled.

Soon our tongues were full of our saliva that merged together. I pushed myself forcefully against his body. Emma moved her pelvis rhythmically and rhythmically on my right leg that was resting between her thighs. I felt her panties rubbing against my skin. As she caressed my belly with her hand, moving down to my stomach, she tried to lift the elastic of my panties to slide underneath.

At a certain point I felt his fingers slide on my pubis, go over the last curve, slide inside my lips effortlessly since my excitement was so high. In the meantime we continued to kiss as if there was no tomorrow: with those caresses and kisses the whole world around disappeared.

Emma told me that she didn't care that her parents were divorced that she felt good with me I felt my heart melting I felt, in my own small way, that I had done a small good deed.

----

Life went smoothly in our house, my aunt Stefania continued to paint, she had moved from the living room to dad's studio. Maybe she would have even held an exhibition of paintings to be able to sell some.

Aunt Stefania was a very particular type: she had a rather haughty appearance, she was 38 years old, younger than her sister, my mom, by 4 years. Tall with a nice body as if she had played sports, compared to mom she had lighter hair and she was also taller than mom with a more ample breast that she liked to show off with low-cut blouses.

Mom sometimes said that aunt had always been an independent type, and she didn't understand why she had ever gotten married given how her story had ended.

And you could tell that Stefania was an independent type infact she often walked around the house half naked, went into the bathroom to pee she left the door open, mom would tell her "there are girls, close it!" even dad sometimes watched her while she was walking around without a skirt, in fact she had nice long legs.

My cousin Emma and I kept touching each other, sometimes before sleeping other times while we were studying in our room. We had promised each other we would never leave each other.

When we touched each other, we ran our fingers down between our lips, sliding under our panties. Her fingers moved slowly. I liked that feeling I felt when she opened my pussy lips for the first time, I felt the cold of her fingers against the heat in the heat of my pinkest and most hidden part.

Sometimes Emma tried to go deeper… I stopped her: "Emma we mustn't go in… it's our secret.. we can't"

Emma went back to walking away but then she was a bit sulky.. then you do it to me… and I answered her "No I won't go in with you either.. I'm not capable of it… like this…" Only caresses… Okay Emma said but sooner or later I would like to try what it feels like inside!

[sonxofxgondor]

@lightcreators asked: ❛please, just tell me the truth, even if it hurts. i can handle it. ❜

Emotionally Charged Sentence Starters! \\ Aragorn

Sun of the afternoon washed away by the waves of night stars, the radiance of moonlight and the fall into slumber for the Fellowship. Bedrolls made for the sake of seeking rest; heads onto makeshift pillows and snores come from tired noses. Near midnight upon them, whispers into the almost dark signaled that all had found their sleep, comforted and kept warm by the fire constructed in the center of camp. Kindle burned to black - wood cracked and charred - Boromir could find no such peace. Mind gathered to thoughts and frustrations most unkind, his task to tend to the little ones resumed. Flames danced in his gaze, the slim stick between his fingers a boresome plaything, its end pushed into the ash pile of the fire, tossing around the bits and grayed pieces. Seated on the ground directly, the hem of his clothes bound to be marked by stain and grass, an unexpected voice made certain that Boromir was not alone.

Quiet on his feet, the step of a ranger, the movement of a king not yet crowned but hidden within shadows. Dressed in dusk and black - not free of choice - Aragorn had taken place beside Boromir. None too close as to disturb the others - heads of darkened curls, straightened beard of silver, forest of red and stream of gold - the clash of fabrics and material, Elven and Man. Stance made more aligned, backbone tightened like a fiddle string, goosebumps run across exposed skin, none to the fault of the windless twilight. Request shared between them, Boromir noted the earnestness in Aragorn. A desperation that was not born of their fight against the forces of Mordor; a conflict that sprouted from personal intrigue, concern and interest rooted. Not one to quiet the woes of his heart, the nature of his grandfather, Boromir breathed deep. Mouth had turned to dry and barren. His throat like a desert without water; ached for reprieve, the chance to make right the wrong but unsure how to start. Tortured in his heart - the fires a light that shined on misdeeds - irises of blue-gray gazed southward, counted the peaks of blade that rose from brown earth.

Boromir began, the voice that carried so taxed. "But it is just that, Aragorn. I don't wish to hurt you. Despite our first encounter, I truly do not think ill of you. To hurt you, with knowing intention, that would be the worst thing I have ever done."

"But you ask for the truth, so I will give it. I do not understand you, Aragorn. You confuse me. Leave me with more questions than answers. I have gone all my life to protect the people of Gondor. I have given my soul, my heart, my body for their sakes, and would do so a thousand times over. Until the end of all my days, without thought to myself. But you... you have called the people of Elrond your own. You prefer Elf to Man; speak their tongue, sing in their praises. I was unkind to you at the Council, and I ask for your forgiveness in that, but my worries remain unchanged. Aragorn... the people of Gondor have suffered so. Their lives have been lost in this battle against the Dark Lord; our fields home to their final rest."

"I cannot stand to see my people waste away, anymore. You are a good and kind man, Aragorn. You have done much for me and our friends here. I would give my last breath for you and they alike, gladly. But... your hesitation scares me so. You know not which path to choose; your destiny unites you to the kingship but your heart leads you another. Aragorn, our people need you. They cannot have merely half. Gondor would not survive on that alone. You ask for the truth: you mustn't be afraid. It needs to end."

[livlepretre]

pt 2

“A Jeremy-who-was-not flickers in her mind’s eye, the details of his lifeless face grown hazy over the years. She pushes the memory down, down…” even so far down their relationship, the memory still haunts her, she cannot fully move past that situation Rebekah put her in (but she can forgive klaus for actually murdering her aunt in front of her? like im kinda surprised it doesn’t cross her mind much anymore, but so much time has passed and so much has changed)

I was a bit confused by this bit “A new enticement, that tears at her heart far worse than any other of Rebekah’s previous offers, because she knows that she will ultimately turn this one down, too. To take her up on it would be to place Jeremy directly before Klaus’s wrath.”, I see it this way: she was talking about Rebekah’s offer to go a different path when Esther awakes, as in going separate ways with Klaus, which of course he wouldn’t like and consequently, kill Jeremy. She knows she will ultimately turn this proposal down too, like her rejection of vampirism, because she can’t possibly leave Klaus behind. I may not be understanding it correctly; if so, pls correct me.

“And besides. Her mother will never awaken. Things will never be different.” this is 100% foreshadowing lol

“Elena rubs her palms against the echo of the past, of a time when she had stood victorious over that glorious force of nature.” Elena reminiscing about her past with Klaus? Stood victorious when she daggered him or when she had his devotion and had an impact on his decisions??

Also I wish we could get a Stefan x Kol friendship, I feel like you kinda hinted it when Stefan walked in the opera box. It would make Klaus even more lonely and depressed than he is rn which I NEED.

“Since you were obviously digging, there’s the answer to the question you so desperately wished to ask me: here is the subject I have been most intrigued by since my rude awakening last summer” the subject is the doppelgänger and her blood’s abilities? Very interesting

Can’t wait for the next chapter cause I feel like so many things will make more sense I HATE BEING IN THE DARK. Splendid chapter, I adore it and how you wrote Kol it’s just perfect👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Well. I think that if Elena was asking Klaus to track down information on Jenna/maybe even come into some kind of contact, she would have trauma flashbacks/misgivings about that too. Like, the situation is bringing it back up. I don't think Elena really forgave either Klaus for murdering Jenna or Rebekah for her cruelties in the usual sense we mean it in... I think Elena hit a breaking point, sanity-wise, and also emotionally, and gave herself permission to accept the totality of her feelings, which included falling in love with monsters. And it was sort of like-- okay. I will accept that this happened. I will accept that I still committed the very grave sin of falling in love with you, and I will stop punishing myself for what you did. But you mustn't do it again.

And-- I recognize that the past few updates have taken me years to roll out, but she does still think of Jenna-- she brought it up directly with Klaus as recently as chapter 63! (Even though Jenna was not mentioned by name, that is who she was talking about when she told him she had "forgiven worse.")

I interpret that little flash at any rate as Elena having this moment of clarity when she remembers Rebekah is a monster, and actually sees her that way, but she suppresses it because she's not able to deal with it.

Yes, your interpretation of the enticement bit is correct-- Rebekah is saying, here, choose me, go with me when my mother wakes up, and leave Klaus behind, and I can offer you a better future-- one that includes your brother in it (and also, of course, you as a vampire!). And Elena is tempted, because this is actually the thing that would really tempt her, but she can never turn it down because 1) she won't leave Klaus, for various fucked up reasons she cannot articulate to herself but which actually come down to the fact that she is loyal to him in her heart and, like him, thinks her fate is tied to his; 2) she takes Klaus's threat to kill her loved ones if she bails seriously, and she won't take that risk, when that has been the entire point of her sticking around all this time; and 3) she knows that Esther will never wake up because, per Klaus's confession to her, she is actually dead, and she knows Klaus is lying to the rest of them about being able to wake her up (just like on the show, right? ;-D )

probably a little of both, but mostly reminiscing about that time she murdered him/conquered him

there will be some Stefan x Kol friendship this next chapter, but I wouldn't call that a good thing!

maybe especially not for Klaus?

and yes, Kol is VERY interested in Elena's latent supernatural abilities, and how that power can be turned toward certain uses...

[holofoiltowercard]

The Journey of The Tarot Haiku

VIII: Strength - Holding on

Do you ever find yourself in the present, looking back on a big project that is now finished, and the euphoria or relief of having finished it settles on you like rose-tinted glasses and suggests that because it was possible and now it's done, it mustn't have been as hard as you thought? Surely it was barely any work at all, you just did this and that and it came together as it should... And there I have to stop myself because it only feeds into downplaying not just the effort, but the genuine struggles I had at the time.

Tracking down the timeline as best I can, the whole thing took almost three years between that first poem popping up in December 2020 and my self-publishing in early October 2023, and in that time, I spent at least a year if not more in a state of burnout. My initial enthusiasm and confidence got me to over a hundred poems within some months, the illustrations were also coming along, and I even had a manuscript structure, rudimentary as it was. I then pitched my idea as a proposal at a place where I thought it might find support and traction - and it didn't.

Back then, I accepted this and literally collapsed. I had pushed myself too hard to get that far, and without support I could not go on at that point. My head was full of ideas I would have loved to bring to fruition, but I no longer had the energy.

The only thing that didn't die was my love for The Tarot Haiku, and my firm belief that what I had was golden, if only I could finish it and share it with others. It's a strange thing, self-love and self-confidence, because they weren't taught to me growing up: I had to instinctively stumble into them on my own. I often struggled with both, and yet there was always a part of me (and I probably owe the book to that part) which genuinely and passionately loved whatever projects I was doing. This part believed in me and in the book even as I was lying there in pieces. Whenever I looked back it would say, what you have here is super and I'm convinced other people would love it.

This post is a love letter to that well of inner strength, because without it all might have been lost. My computer crashed twice at the start of this year, and in those two crashes it nearly took everything from me, from all my professional work materials to projects like The Tarot Haiku, and even after my files were restored, I went through a really difficult time. I was genuinely exhausted, and needed two months to recover. But once I did, I looked back on what happened, and tapped into that inner strength and said, please see me through, I have to finish this and share it.

And now here we are.

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