#mushroom parasite stuff always freaked me out

[appri-dot]

It's my art I get to make the hc design!

[scrybe-of-writings]

It's Normal - P03 & FtM Reader

TW: Gender Crisis, negative thoughts about Gender Crisis, internalized transphobia

oughh the first thing i ever post is a fic about two fellas being trans. go figure. fic's under the cut have fun go ham

I am down horrendously bad for this guy but I also kind of meant to leave this ambiguous on purpose so I guess it's your call on whether it's romantic or platonic or just two guys Being Silly

also I've always headcanoned p03 as being ftm but i guess if you think about it this could be interpreted as either? maybe? idk man robots and gender are equally complicated to write for all i know is that this guy is Not Cis

“I think… I’m trans,” you blurted one game. It had been quiet for a few minutes, nearly bordering on awkward—the two of you hadn’t taken a break for quite some time, and you had begun to run out of things to talk about.

P03 set down a card. “What?”

Immediately, your face began to burn. You should have expected this, really. Why did you think that he, of all people, would get it? Did he even know what being trans was? If so, he’d surely find you even more disgusting than he already had. Stupid. Stupid, stupid—

“Are you going to elaborate, or are you just going to keep your face in your hands?”

Oh. Um.

You lifted your head. “Uh. Trans. Transgender? I think I’m transgender.”

“The hell is that?” Jesus. Okay.

“Uhh. You know, like—um. Okay—so—you know how we have, like, the concept of gender, right? Like. Men and women and all that jazz. And you know how I’m like. A girl. But the thing is I’m not. But. Like. Okay maybe yeah I look like a girl but I’m not really because calling myself that is really super gross and sometimes I wonder if I’d feel better about myself if I cut my hair and stopped wearing blouses and—”

 “God. Okay, slow down. I can’t understand a thing you say when you ramble like that. It’s irritating.”

“I want to cut my hair. And wear bigger clothes. And make my voice lower? I guess?”

He just stared. God, you were a weirdo. Even if he was neutral before, there was no way he wouldn’t despise you after that explanation. Why couldn’t you keep your shit together for ten minutes? You could feel his gaze burning straight through you, but the worst part was that you couldn’t figure out why. He hadn’t said anything for several seconds, and you were getting extremely worried. What the hell was going on in that processor of his? You hated the fact that he was so hard to read sometimes.

The silence was getting too much. “So… there’s that.”

“So what’s the big deal?”

You blinked. “What?”

“I said, ‘what’s the big deal?’ Okay, you have long hair and stuff. Just change it. What, you want scissors? We’re in a factory. Made of metal. Find them yourself. Don’t leave hair on the floor.”

“You’re not grossed out?”

“Am I not supposed to be?” There it was. You knew this would happen. Of course. ‘Do what you like, but I still won’t be a fan’-type shit. God. Stupid. Stupid—

“Of course I’m still grossed out by you. You sweat and leave stray hairs everywhere and you make messes when you eat and I had to install a bathroom because of you. Do you know how much that screwed up the synergy we’ve got going on here? Our system? Beasts are disgusting. Was your haircut supposed to change that?” He scoffed, then went back to looking at his cards. “Your ideas are unhinged, challenger.” 

“No, me being trans.”

“What about it?”

“I—?” This was going in a very different direction than you'd thought it would. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little relieved, but part of you still wasn’t convinced that he wasn’t playing some kind of trick on you. “Doesn’t that freak you out?”

“No…? Did you hit your head? Do you have some kind of brain-eating parasite? Did you breathe in some of those freaky mushrooms? I told you not to go back there. Anyway, it happens to everyone. Chill out. You’re not special.”

Wait. “What?”

“What?” “What do you mean it happens to everyone?”

“I mean it happens to everyone.”

Did— Was he—?

“I… don’t think so.”

“Of course it does.”

“So it’s happened to Dredger? And Inspector? Leshy? The mages?”

“Okay, maybe not everyone,” he said, a little too quickly. “But it’s not some super interesting thing like I’m betting you’re hoping it is. Super normal. So calm down. Are we done?” P03’s eyes refused to meet your own, despite how much they were darting around, and you could hear clicks getting increasingly louder as he kept stacking the same cars on the table. “Can we get back to our game, now?”

Holy shit. You didn’t think you’d ever seen him this uncomfortable before. A few minutes prior you might have thought it was because you were the culprit—freaking him out with your weird gender moment and all—but you were beginning to suspect that maybe it was something else. You had never been one to pry, but…

“P03?”

“What.”

“Do… you want to talk about something?”

He hesitated, like he was about to let his walls down, even for a second, but stopped himself, and you saw the emotion leave his face again. Still he refused to show vulnerability, it seemed. He picked up his cards. “No. Not really.”

You picked yours up, too. “Alright. Well, if you change your mind… We’re a little bit in need of a conversation topic, aren’t we?”

“Tsk. Okay."

The room was quiet again, but after a while, you heard a very soft, "Scissors are in the middle drawer. You’re really stupid, you know that?”

“Ha, ha. Okay, buddy."

[thesnivy123]

Original Not-Dead Leif related hot take (call that a cold take lmao):

Long post.

I genuinely, absolutely, do NOT think that pre-death/original/Not-Cordyceps Leif would hate cordy!Leif. I've seen this take here and there, and while i will admit that it's valid and an interesting concept, it's not something I can really agree with.

My first point is that... Leif's a huge fucking nerd. Seriously- Assuming that the current Leif has roughly the same personality as the original, which would make sense... Sure, he can be petty, but he's never struck me as particularly spiteful. This is a guy who's canonically either considered or downright tried to pet and/or steal almost every cute enemy in the game. This is a guy who takes a card game COMICALLY seriously. I don't know how else to put it, Leif's a dork, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Secondly, and related to the first point- Despite everything, Leif's... a fairly normal person. Like, yeah, he's a hundred year old zombie wizard. That's definitely a thing. But before he died? He had a house, a wife, a kid on the way, absolutely no combat skills, all that fun stuff. All things considered, he very well could have been even more of a dork back then, yknow, BEFORE he was an ancient mushroom ice wizard explorer.

Thiiiirdly, mm..not gonna keep up the essay format just gonna wordvomit at this point. Leif's canonically kind of a dork, he lived a fairly normal life, all that. You're here for the fungus angst, though, and I'm about to get to that.

I feel like if... idk, if somehow the original leif "woke up" or something? I don't think he'd be pissed. He'd be freaked out, sure, there's literally a zombie parasite in his dead body living his life for him, that's kind of fucked up. I can't imagine him actually hating said zombie parasite as a person, though. I mean... He would've died in that cave with or without fungal interference, and all things considered? They've done a damn good job at being Leif. He saved the kingdom, got knighted, he's got some good friends, hell, he's literally on a first name basis with god herself. All while still doing almost exactly what the original Leif would have done in these situations. He wouldn't be mad.

No, no. If anything, he'd be a bit jealous. I mean, a mushroom did a better job at being Leif than Leif did. A mushroom took everything that made leif Leif, and used it to become one of the coolest people in Bugaria. AND it's not like he's up to anything shady- This guy was genuinely just living as Leif, no Cordyceps Motives involved. He’s just as much of Just A Guy as he's always been.

So, in conclusion? Angst is fun, yeah, but have you considered "ghost of your past self comes back to haunt you, ends up being confused, mildly disturbed and a bit jealous of you, though otherwise agreeable despite the incredibly awkward situation"?

(Sidenote: I also don't think the original Leif would have any right to forcefully take back control of the body. Like... yeah, that's his body, but he died. He's dead. The cordyceps has been using it for the last century. The cordyceps is the one who saved the kingdom with badass ice magic and got knighted and won a spy cards tournament. The original Leif would not only be clueless as to what he's been up to lately, but would be so jarringly incompetent that he could easily fuck things up for the both of 'em and make it painfully obvious that there's some cordyceps shenanigans going on.)