#muse: mike dodds

[thebestdefence]

I really want to write an alternate version of Mike's last episode where he manages to pull through and maybe decides to stay on at SVU.

[arentthemeasures]

|| Meet the new muses added to the roster:

Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th: Derek Mears

Mark Hoffman from Saw: Costas Mandylor

William Willis/Will Benson from I Still Know What You Did Last Summer: Damian Hardung

Scarecrow/Man in the Mask from The Strangers: Henry Cavill

Axel Palmer/The Miner from My Bloody Valentine: Alex Hogh Anderson

Kieran Wilcox from Scream TV series: Logan Lerman

Charlie Grimille/The Hangman from The Gallows: Joe Keerey

Pfeifer Ross from The Gallows: Hannah Dodd

Stuntman Mike McKay from Death Proof: Alex Calvert

Jud Crandall from Pet Sematary: Theo James

Gage Creed from Pet Sematary: Dylan O'Brien

Jedidiah Sawyer from Leatherface: Sam Strike

[melk917]

Melk's 250 Follower Celebration!

Ah! I’ve hit my first fairly-major follower milestone! As such, I wanted to celebrate with a bingo idea that has been on my mind for ages: What’s Your Fantasy.

I love writing smut and so it only seems appropriate to celebrate with a bingo card full of possibilities. 😈

Each bingo square will be a line from this classic piece of work by the sage poet, Ludacris. If you don’t know the song, go take a listen. For your own education and sheer enjoyment.

Rules are laid out in detail below the cut along with the card but the overview:

I will be accepting requests from today until 1/18 for 250-500 word fills. Feel free to send in a request for Rafael Barba, Nevada Ramirez, Jackson Neill, or Paul Mendelson + a square. Each square will get filled only once. I will be posting the fills as my schedule allows starting Feb 1. If you're writing/producing your own content, there's a lot more you can write for, but I will only be doing these four boys.

This is a bingo! So I’d love for other people to do their own fills as well. See below for more details + the card.

Even if you’re not participating, please share! I’d love to see how wide-reaching this can go and what creative things people can do. This is about community, and I want to celebrate that.

NOTE: Nothing about this song or the card itself is SFW so participation is restricted to 18+ ONLY. This is a hard and fast rule. If I discover anyone requesting is under 18, you will be blocked. If you are under 18 and participating, you will be blocked & your media removed from the bingo.

Rules:

For writing/creating your own work: Pick a single square, a row, four corners, fill the whole card. Up to you. No pressure - this is supposed to be fun!

For requests: send a square + one of the 4 boys marked with MK below.

How to use the squares? You can take them as literally as you want. They’re intended as inspiration, so feel free to use it to just set the tone, or feel free to incorporate the lyric literally. Let the muse lead you how it will. (And even though the bingo card itself is explicit, the fic can be anything from G to E. However you want it, as Luda would say.)

Types of media: you can do mood/storyboards, artwork, long fics, one shots, drabbles, HC... whatever your fancy. Want to do all fics? Great! Want to mix and match? Ok! All moodboards? No problem!

If your story is more than 500 words, you must use a “keep reading”. Anything explicit must also be below a cut.

One square per fic (note: multi-chapters can use more than one square, but it must be one per chapter).

Characters allowed (**can be reader insert or OC or fandom pairing. I will only write reader inserts**):

Rafael Barba (Can request from MK)

Jackson Neill (Can request from MK)

Nevada Ramirez (Can request from MK)

Paul Mendelson (Can request from MK)

Frederick Chilton

Jonas Nightingale

Bryan Kneef

Sonny Carisi

Nick Amaro

Mike Dodds

Rita Calhoun

Olivia Benson

Amanda Rollins

Want to write for someone else? Feel free to shoot me a message for requests. No promises, but open to requests.

No RPF/real-person fanfiction. No underage character (incl. reader/OC). No non-con. If you have any questions about something, feel free to shoot me a message. I also reserve the right to refuse any requests or add additional restrictions on a case-by-case basis, should there be an issue that arises.

Posting will be between 2/1 & 2/28 (this goes for both requests I fill and anything you wish to post)

Please tag me in your entries! I want to see the madness you create. Please also use the following hashtag: #melk917fantasybingo.

Any questions let me know. AGAIN HAVE FUN. Bingo card is below

You do not have to participate but a signal boost is always nice!

[thatesqcrush]

LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU NOT  BINGO MASTERLIST

All fics are reader insert unless otherwise denoted & you should assume all are NSFW.

@thatesqcrush

Voire Dire, Part 3 (Barba)

Ivy & the Ink (Nevada Ramirez)

Fall From Grace, Pt. 11: Case of the Ex (Kneef)

Drinks & Theories (Barson)

The Nanny (Kneef)

Retrouvaille (Barba)

Time of the Month (Kevin Mulrooney)

@itsjustmyfantasyroom

Just Relax (Chilton)

Jealous (Barba)

Peaches N Cream (Barba)

Green Eyes (Barba)

Not So Blind (Amaro)

Since You Left (Barba)

Goodbye (Amaro)

Forever More (Chilton)

Ivory Dress (Amaro)

A Mature Date (Jackson Neill)

Sweet Serendipity (Barba)

Wages (Nevada Ramirez)

No Judgment (Dennis DiPalma)

Purple Love (Rafael Barba)

Via Email (Bryan Kneef)

Friendly Gossip (Barba)

Use to It (Amaro)

Understudy (Carisi)

Sweet Touch (Chilton)

Finally (Barba)

@law-nerd105

Drunk Love (Barba)

@beccabarba

Light in Your Eyes (Amaro)

Le Vice Anglais (Barba)

Handcuffs and Tea (Amaro)

Nevada & the Good Girl: Into the Dark (Nevada Ramirez)

Nevada & the Good Girl: Put on a Show (Nevada Ramirez)

Dinner to Go: Part 1, Part 2 (Nick Amaro, reader, Alex Cabot)

Summoned, Pt. 4 (Chilton)

Going Public (Kneef)

Nothing Sweet (Kneef)

Fine Wine (Barba)

Broken (Cabot)

Feelings (Rollins)

My Heart Says Cupcake (Amaro)

@dreamlover31

Love Me Like You Do (moodboard)

@storiesofsvu

Valentine’s Game (Calhoun, Barba)

You Can & You Will (Calhoun)

Found Family (Benson)

Put On a Show (Bryan Kneef)

Put On a Show (Part 2) (Bryan Kneef)

Snail Mail (Casey Novak)

Island Interlude (Casey Novak)

Uncoordinated (Mini Dodds)

Hidden Love (Alex Cabot)

First Date Blunders (Carisi)

Platonic Valentine (Kat Tamin)

What You’re Waiting For (Carisi)

Delectable (Rita Calhoun)

Bruised Ego (Barba)

Power Play (Kneef)

You Never Knew? (Carisi)

Forget You (Alex Cabot)

February Phone Call (Barba)

Not So Blind Date (Alex Cabot)

Negotiations (Barba)

@karens-imagined-world

Exam Prep Destress (Harvard!Barba)

Post-It (Carisi)

Goodbye, My Love (Mini Dodds)

PDA (Mini Dodds)

Move In With Me (Jackson Neill)

Oils & Marks (Mini Dodds)

Oral Sex (NSFW) - Harvard!Rafael Barba x reader

Candy and Flowers - Sonny Carisi 

First Date - Sonny Carisi 

Public Sex / Public Display of Affection (NSFW)

Aftercare - Nick Amaro

Love Me Like You Do - Mike Dodds 

Catchin’ Feelings - Bryan Kneef 

@teamsladsandgents

Glimpses (A Glimpse of the Future, Part 5.5) (Carisi)

Morals (Nevada Ramirez)

Out Like a Flame (Amaro)

The Tum (Barba)

My Beautiful Rose (Carisi)

Homemade Valentines (Olivia)

Take It Out On Me (Amaro)

Make It Up (Carisi)

A New Muse, Part 2 (Barba)

100% Certain (Carisi)

The Choices We Make (Barba)

Moving On (Jackson Neill)

Sister Troubles (Amaro)

Bella’s Wedding (Carisi)

Trying New Things (Barba)

Bar Games (Amaro)

24 Hour Flu (Carisi)

Dinner, Dancing & Doting (Mini Dodds)

Trying to Change (Amaro)

Study Buddy (Carisi)

Study Buddy, Pt. 2 (Carisi)

Catching Feelings (Barba)

Claimed As His (Barba)

Subtle (Amaro)

Lack of Communication (Carisi)

Time Tears us Apart, but Also Brings us Back (Barba)

@madamsnape921

I Believe You (Part 2) (Bryan Kneef)

I Believe You (Part 3) (Bryan Kneef)

On The Plus Side (Chilton)

@darkheart-brightsmile

It’s a Love/Hate Thing (Barba)

@alwaysachorusgirl

Almost Perfect (Chilton) 

Playing Matchmaker (Barba)

An Exile of Our Own Making (Barba)

We’ve Got Tonight (Barba)

@infiniteoddball

Saved Sauce (Calhoun, Fin)

@detective-giggles

Hobby (Barisi)

Secret Love (Barisi)

Forgotten Love (Barisi)

@navalcriminalimagines

Sit, Drink, Smile (Barba)

@redlipstickandplaid

Blind Date (Barba)

@the-hopeless-haze

I Hope He’ll be a Beautiful Fool... (Sonny Carisi/reader, past!Rafael Barba/reader)

@lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo

Cuddling (Amaro)

@tropes-and-tales

Memory of a Love (Carisi)

@prurientpuddlejumper

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Kneef, Ch.11 (Kneef)

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Kneef, Ch.12 (Kneef)

Crying in the Shower (Barba)

@crylovereblog   

Lucky (Casey Novak)

@dreamlover31

Love You Like I Do (mood-board ft. Barba)

@redlipstickandplaid

Fade Into You (Nick Amaro)

@altsvu

Sneaky on the 8th Floor (Carisi)

Surprise, Lets Be Valentines (Barba)

@raisethebarricade

Terrible, Horrible (No Good, Very Bad Date) (Barba)

@victimsofunsynchronizedpassion​

Exile, Pt. 1 (Barba)

Exile, Pt. 2 (Barba)

[writingdayandnight]

Coincidences- Aaron Hotchner Imagine

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader; SVU crossover (kinda) 

Word Count: 1.3k

WARNINGS: Basic mentions of death, murder, the likes. Nothing graphic!

A/N: This is just something I’ve been thinking about recently, much like Hotch and his dreamy eyes. It’s a crossover with SVU in theory, but honestly you don’t need to watch the show to read. Let me know if I should make a part two or not!! I love your feedback 💗

You had been working with the BAU team for over a year now. Even within that short period of time, you had grown to love them like family. They reminded you of the slightly-more functional version of the team you left behind in New York. 

When you left New York, you made a promise to your friends and family that you would make an effort to take better care of your mental health. Now that’s a little challenging when you’re catching serial killers on a daily basis. Although, these cases tended to have a more satisfying conclusion than the ones you worked on with Special Victims Unit. Neither were ideal, of course. 

Garcia had just announced that there was a case, summoning you all to the conference room. You straggled behind the rest of the group, finishing up an email that needed to be sent. You weren’t the only one falling behind the pack, though. 

You had noticed that Hotch was in no particular rush to get to the conference room. He looked spaced out, as if his mind was in another place. Aaron Hotchner was no easy man to read, so for you to pick up on his behavior, he must really be distracted. 

“After you,” you said, meeting Hotch at the door. He gave you a simply nod and take his seat. 

Garcia dispersed the case files and presented what information was available. Three women from Eugene, Oregon had been killed in their homes, while their significant others had been on business trips. 

“That can’t be a coincidence,” Morgan remarked. 

“There’s no such thing as coincidences. Wheels up in 30,” Hotch sternly spoke, rising from his chair and leaving the room in a hurry. 

You looked at Rossi for an explanation. While you prided yourself on being able to communicate openly with your boss, nobody could read Hotch like Rossi.

“It’s been five years since Haley passed.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.”

“Well, he’s not one to share. Take it easy on him this week. No heroics,” Rossi lectured, wagging his finger at you, as had been known to take a few risks. 

“I can’t believe you’re saying this to me when Derek is right outside.” 

The plane ride to Eugene was pretty typical. Although, you found your eyes fixed on Hotch. You couldn’t help but to sympathize with his pain. It was never easy to lose a loved one, let alone your significant other. 

As the case progressed, you recognized the unsub’s patterns and habits. He was a predatory stalker; you just needed to lure him out. Rossi proposed that Prentiss and Morgan play husband and wife for a day or two, just to see if he would attempt to break in. 

Reid stayed behind, narrowing down the suspect list, while you, Hotch, Rossi, and JJ staked out the place. You had been partnered with Hotch, which was a relatively common occurrence. There was chemistry between the two of you, a natural bond that with undiscovered origins. You were calm, collected, and logical much like Hotch. You were a little more adventurous, but nowhere near the same level as the rest of the team. 

The car was silent, except for the sound of rain pattering against the roof. You were in the driver’s seat, watching the house to see if there was any sign of the unsub. Hotch sat beside you, keeping an eye on the surroundings, a tense grip on his binoculars. One of you would reach for coffee, while the other would take a deep breath and regroup. You repeated this cycle for what felt like an eternity. 

At one point you noticed Hotch staring at his phone. You tried to catch a glimpse of what he was looking at without obviously violating his privacy. Finally, you decided it was time to break the silence. 

“How are you holding up?”

“I could use another cup of coffee,” he said, tucking is phone back into his suit pocket. 

“No, that’s not what I meant. Rossi told me what this week means to you. How are you holding up in that regard?”

He remained silent, staring out at the rainy street. He couldn’t produce an answer no matter how he tried. 

“Wanna hear my sob story?” You asked, ready to tell him your biggest secret since joining the BAU.

He simply nodded. 

“I lost my fiancé two years ago. Shot in the line of duty. It was his last day before transferring units. A month before our wedding.” 

You took a deep breath, mentally preparing to continue with the story. Hotch was quiet, allowing you to finish. 

“His name was Mike. Sergeant Mike Dodds,” you mused, “he was the sweetest guy, a big softie, but God, did he know how to play the bad guy. He transferred to SVU because his father wanted him to. Everyone hated him, but I saw something in him. There was this light in his eyes, this fire. It’s what I miss most about him.” 

You didn’t realize that you had a tear streaming down your cheek, until Hotch offered you a tissue. You wiped your tears, cursing yourself for being so dramatic. Hotch just reached over and placed his hand on yours, gently reassuring you that he was there. 

“I’d tell you it gets easier, but honestly? It just gets...different. You learned to live without them, but those feelings are still there,” his voice was barely audible. 

“I came to terms with it a long time ago. He wouldn’t want me wallowing in pity all of the time; he would want me to have a fresh start. Date new people, move to another city, take all the risks- within reason- that I never took before.” Now the rain had captivated you. “I always joked that we should have leave Manhattan and get a big log cabin in the Pacific Northwest. Have a bunch of dogs, maybe a boat, and live amongst the wilderness.” You wiped another tear from your rosy cheek, letting out a giggle, “But instead, I chose to move to humid D.C. and catch serial killers for a living.”

Hotch laughed, taking a sip of his cold coffee. You swore you saw a tear slid down his cheek as well, but you didn’t mention anything. Instead, you two just laughed cathartically for a moment. In that moment, you had forgotten all the pain you suffered before coming to the BAU. There was plenty in your life worth sticking around for. You liked to think Hotch felt the same. 

“Y/N,” he broke the laughter, “thank you. Thank you for always bringing your genuine self to every situation, for everything you do for this team...for everything you do for me.”

“It’s a coincidence that we found each other, almost like the universe brought us together.”

“There is no such thing as coincidences,” he replied, shifting in his seat. 

You were facing each other now. He had beautiful, brown eyes, you noticed. Even when they were glossy from crying, they were still beautiful. You recognized a light his eyes, one you thought was stolen from you two years ago. For the first time, you saw Hotch as someone other than your stoic boss who needed solved like a puzzle. You saw him as Aaron. Vulnerable, broken, and empathetic Aaron. 

If Rossi hadn’t ruined the moment with a radio call, saying they had caught the unsub, then you swore you could’ve kissed him. Your heart was beating out of your chest. You brushed it off as heightened emotions, but you couldn’t shake the feeling. What if the universe did put you and Aaron together? What if it was a sign that you were meant to be each other’s fresh starts? 

[svucarisiaddict]

"I missed you, you know?" with Mike x Reader for #fault, please? The ending with the Reader moving out was...oof. So good.

//I really liked Rayn O’Halloran’s character so I used him in this fic. Let me know if y’all want to read more fics featuring him.//

“So, I think I found a place,” you informed your brother and his wife during breakfast. 

Your sister-in-law raised an eyebrow. “That was quick. Where is it?” When you told them where your new place was they exchanged looks. 

“Uh, sis, that’s not exactly a good part of the city. Maybe you should wait to find something safer,” he said.

“There’s no rush to leave. We enjoy having you here,” she added.

“I can take care of myself. Plus I’ve never really been on my own. I’ve always had a roommate up to when I moved in with Mike.  It’s something I need to do,” you explained. 

“Fair enough,” your brother said. “When you’re ready we’ll get the rest of your things from Mike’s.”

A couple weeks later you were enjoying an ice-cold beer in your sparsely decorated yet chic apartment. I was a far cry from the apartment you had shared with Mike. There was no doorman, elevator, gym or pool in this building. In fact, you doubted it was even up to code but you didn’t care. It was yours. 

You hopped up from your spot on the couch when the buzzer rang. “Yes?”

“I have a delivery for Ms. Y/L/N,” the male voice crackled over the speaker.

You furrowed your brow but buzzed him up. A young man was coming down the hall with a huge bouquet of flowers. Right away you saw the sunflowers and knew exactly who sent the arrangement. “Sign here please, ma’am.”

“There you are,” you said. After signing you dug into your shorts pocket for a tip. 

“Thank you but it’s already been taken care of. Have a good day.” He smiled and turned to leave.

The flowers were a gorgeous mix of sunflowers, roses, and other brightly colored flowers. The fragrance of the flowers was already filling your senses. You loved freshly cut flowers and always had arrangements around the apartment. Taking a vase from under the cabinet you filled it with water then placed the bouquet and vase on the small coffee table. 

Plucking the small card you recognized Mike’s scrawl. ‘Hope you have settled in your new place. Love you still. Yours, Mike’

Picking up your phone you sent him a text thanking him for the flowers then went about trying to figure out what to have for dinner. After eating a pot pie you took a shower and went to the kitchen to make tea. You smile to yourself. You were proud of you. At some point, Mike texted you back. 

[from: mike 6:00pm] you are welcome. I’m here if you need anything. Night or day.

[to: mike 7:46pm] I appreciate it. Have a good night.

Over the next few months, you and Mike spoke to one another less and less. Then one day he called asked you to go to meet him for coffee on Saturday morning. Although you were a little reluctant you agreed. 

“Y/N. You look beautiful,” he said and pulled you in for a slightly awkward hug. He tightened his arms around you.

“Mike. You’re squeezing me too tight,” you said.

He released you and an embarrassed smile crossed his lips. “Sorry. I’ve missed you, you know.” He directed you to a nearby table.

“I can tell,” you responded with a small smile of your own. You missed him too but not in the way he did you.

“I already ordered for you. Hope that’s okay.” He handed you a plastic cup with your favorite iced coffee. So, what have you been up to?”

“Thanks,” you said before taking a sip of your iced drink. “Working, going out with some of the people from work, reading a lot, and I started crocheting.”

“Cool. Maybe you can make me a warm hat for the winter.”

You chuckled. “Well maybe if I start now you might have it by next winter.”

Before you knew it two hours had passed. 

“This is just like old times,” Mike remarked. 

“Yeah. We have some really good memories,” you mused. Unfortunately, the bad times out shadowed the good, especially toward the end of your relationship. Glancing down at your watch you jumped up. “I gotta go. I’m gonna be late.” 

“What? You have a hot date?” he said jokingly. 

You froze for a beat and looked at him. “Um, well-”

“Oh, o-okay. Thanks for meeting me.”

“Mike, I’m sorry-”

He gave you a tight smile. “Don’t apologize.”

The two of you stood for a moment looking at one another. “It was good seeing you. Take care of yourself, Michael.” You leaned over and kissed his cheek then left the coffee shop.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The restaurant was busy even for a Friday evening. You had been informed that it would be a thirty-minute wait for a table. It wasn’t a big deal. Ryan was running late anyway. You took a seat at the bar to wait and ordered a drink.

“Y/N?” A deep voice said behind you.

Slowly you turned toward the familiar voice. “Mike. Wow,” you said. Rising from your seat you gave him an awkward hug. “How have you been?”

“I’m good. You look great and just... happy,” he replied his eyes sweeping up and down your form. “How about you?”

“Great.” An awkward silence followed. “Umm, how’s your Dad?”

“I haven’t talked to him since our fight.” That had been an ordeal. You had almost been knocked out from a wayward punch when you tried to stop the scuffle. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you said. It didn’t really surprise you that he broke ties with his father, you knew it was for the best. William could be toxic.

“It was for the best. Can't believe it’s been a year since I last saw you. So, what have you been up to?” he asked. “Did you get that hat crochet for me?”

“Uh, no. Turns out I can only make one chain.” You laughed nervously and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

Mike’s eyes landed on your engagement ring. “When did you get engaged?”

“Over the holidays,” you replied. 

The smile on Mike’s face dropped. “Congratulations.” He took a sip of the drink that was in his hand, a gin and tonic if you weren’t mistaken. “Is he good to you?”

“Compared to who?” you asked with a raised brow. 

A hand to your lower back caused you to startle. “Hey, babe. Sorry, I’m late. Court went later than I thought,” Ryan said as he came up beside you then kissed your cheek.

“That’s okay. Ryan this is Mike Dodds he’s a sergeant with SVU. Mike this is my fiance, Ryan O’ Halloran,” you said introducing the two men. “He’s a detective with CSU.”

“Nice to meet you, Mike. I’ve heard a lot about you,” Ryan said holding his hand out to shake Mike’s. You and Ryan had been open with one another from the start of your relationship. Both of you knew the other’s past.

Mike shook his hand. “All good I’m sure,” Mike said sarcastically.

Ryan chuckled. “Mostly,” he said his eyes assessing Mike.

The host approached you to inform you your table was ready and not a minute too soon. You could feel the tension between the two men. Especially from Mike. 

“Thank goodness. I’m starving.” Ryan offered his arm for you slip yours through. “Have a good evening, Mike.”

“Goodbye, Michael,” you murmured. As you and Ryan walked away you turned to look back at Mike. He smiled and waved. You nodded and returned the smile. As much as you loved Ryan a part of your heart would always belong to Mike.

[idasessions]

Famous Muses & Groupies in Rock Music Pt. 41

MUSE: Ann Moses (full name Ann Marie Moses)

Ann was born on February 3rd, 1947 in Long Beach, CA and grew up in Anaheim, CA with her older brother and their parents, where she wrote for her junior high and high school newspapers. When Ann was still in high school in 1962, one of her first jobs was working at Disneyland. Walt was still active around the park then, and she even got to meet the legendary man himself. A couple years later in 1964, she broke through her journalism career as a freelance writer for the local newspaper Rhythm & News, where she got to interview music icons like James Brown and Jackie Wilson. Through this gig, Ann caught the eye of music publicist Derek Taylor who recommended her to the teen fan magazine Tiger Beat, where she was quickly hired. At the same time, she had just finished a year of junior college at Fullerton College and enrolled at San Jose State. But she ended up choosing the writing gig over school when she realized it would be a fulltime position. Ann worked at Tiger Beat for the next six years (1966-1972), and began as their most frequent contributor before eventually promoted to associate editor and eventually head editor. Simultaneously, she was also co-editor and contributor for Monkee Spectacular magazine for its whole run in 1967-68, and also penned her own column for NME magazine from 1968-71. Throughout her career, Ann met and interviewed many popular music acts and also got a few additional perks, like: attending the Monterey Pop Music Festival in 1967; traveling with the Monkees, the Raiders and the Standells; socializing with the Dave Clark 5, the Who, the Rolling Stones, Jefferson Airplane, the BeeGees and Herman’s Hermits; being in the audience for two Elvis tapings; and co-hosting an episode of “Battle of the Bands” with Bobby Sherman in 1969. Ann even helped participate in the clapping heard throughout the Monkees’ 1967 song ‘Daydream Believer.’ One of her close friends back in the ‘60s was famous LA seamstress Genie Franklyn.

Besides being one of the most recognizable women in 1960s music journalism, Ann also became friends with a lot of the popstars she covered back in the day. The band she was most closely associated with was the Monkees from 1966-68, whom she got to regularly interview and profile on their TV sitcom set, in the recording studio and on tour. The two band members she was friendliest with were Davy Jones and Peter Tork. Ann’s said that one of her favorite memories is when she rode around the Monkees set with Davy on his bike. Peter apparently was the nicest bandmate and was always accommodating whenever she was on set. He also occasionally gave Ann offers to try acid with him, which she always turned down. Around the time Peter left the band in 1968, Ann once visited his house where he allegedly opened the front door completely naked and acted like it was no big deal. (#cringe) This was during the peak of his hippie period, and she doesn’t think of it as a metoo type incident.

When Ann and Peter reconnected in 2013 after a concert, she joked about him offering her acid and he supposedly was like “yeah, I shouldn’t have done that,” lol. (She also mentioned that they kissed on the lips that same reunion, which makes me wonder if they were ever ~more~ than friends, buuut that’s pure speculation on my part because they’re so adorable.) Ann was also one of the first media figures to publicly coin Mike Nesmith as ‘the difficult Monkee,’ for always being a pain to interview and generally dismissive when she was around. He even attempted to make her go away once by saying he’d do one of her interviews if they slept together, which made her go ‘uhhhh.’ Apparently after filming the band’s movie Head (1968), Mike told her that he was difficult to help make her a better reporter, but she didn’t believe him, lol. Ann doesn’t have many stories on Micky, but he did ask for her phone number the day she first met the group, but he never called her, heh.

But wait, that’s not all! Even though Ann always refers to herself as a ~friend of the stars, she also went out with a few of these guys. In 1966, she spent 4th of July with bassist Karl Green of Herman’s Hermits, and they made out in front of fireworks at the end of the night (cute). Later that year she lost her virginity to lead singer/drummer Dick Dodd of the Standells, which she considered a disaster (though she still thinks high of him as a person). Ann’s frequently referred to Maurice Gibb of the BeeGees as her first big love when they were a couple in 1968. But then he became her first heartbreak too when popstar Lulu walked up to her at a party and nonchalantly told Ann that Maurice was leaving with her instead of Ann (what a bish). Also kinda funny he left her for Lulu because Lulu dated Davy for a minute a couple years earlier too. Ann also had a ‘platonic’ date with Harry Nilsson in 1967. Oh, and Roger Daltrey once blatantly asked her if she wanted to go up to his hotel room and she naively responded, “what’s in your room?” (lol)

In the early 1970s, Ann spent most of her time covering young stars like David Cassidy and Donny & Marie Osmond before retiring from journalism and leaving Hollywood for the bay area. Since the ‘70s, Ann switched to working in dentistry, married a computer engineer and raised their two sons near the Rocky Mountains. As of 2019, she and her husband live in Gilbert, AZ. In 2012, Ann revived her interest in writing with her own blog, which then encouraged her to pen her 2017 memoir Meow! My Groovy Life. She also occasionally contributes articles for the website Rocksbackpages.com. Mark her down as yet another mid-20th century chick I’m jealous of.

[locke-writes]

tag!

rules: answer the questions below and then tag eight people to do the same

Tagged By: @libraryoffandomsuniverse (thank you!)

ONE / name / alias: Noah, NJ, Thor

TWO / birthday: August 28

THREE / zodiac sign: Virgo

FOUR / height: 5′9.5

FIVE / hobbies: reading, writing, filmmaking

SIX / favourite colors: dark green

SEVEN / favourite books: Sci-fi and fantasy mainly. Historical thrillers, and horror novels depending on the plot and/or author

EIGHT / last song listened to: Endlessly She Said -AFI

NINE / last film watched: Yesterday dir. Danny Boyle

TEN / inspiration for muse: mainly music if I'm honest

ELEVEN / dream job: filmmaker to put it simply, technically I’d like to write/direct/edit my own films.

TWELVE / meaning behind your url: @locke-the-strength is my personal blog which was created back in 2012, this blog came about on impulse years later and I couldn’t think of a clever url. To keep on brand I kept it simple, locke to connect it with the other blog and writes because that’s what I’m doing here

THIRTEEN / top 3 ships: Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago, Sonny Carisi x Mike Dodds, Scott Lang x Eddie Brock

FOURTEEN / lipstick or chapstick: Chapstick

FIFTEEN / currently reading: The Iron Marshall by Louis L’amour

Tagging: @kjs-s @aryn-the-wolfheart @nightowleli @regrettablewritings @the-stars-beyond-our-world @myriadimagines @lotsoffandomimagines @welldonebeca

[rauliskafan]

A Little Lesson in Light: Chapter Two

Authors’ Note: Happy Christmas to one and all! @vintagemichelle91 and I thank you so much for your amazing comments last night!!! They were the best gift ever!!! Now with Maggie’s baby on the way, the family starts to gather. Read on for more and enjoy!!! :) 

          “Yes, Mike. It’s time. Well, no. No, not this exact instant. But soon. Yes. You need to hurry. I know but… yes. See what you can do to make that happen.”

           Ending the call, Natalia paced the waiting room. Ashtonja sat with the twins, Hazel narrowing her eyes at every doctor, nurse, and orderly that passed by while Holly nibbled her little nails.

           “Mami?”

           Glancing down, Natalia saw Violetta, felt her tugging at the hem of her skirt.

           “Yes, sweet pea?” she asked as she scooped the girl up into her arms.

           “Will the baby really be born in time for Christmas?”

           Natalia started to answer but suddenly stopped herself short. Despite her own firstborn’s somewhat rapid arrival, she knew all too well that Maggie’s boy could take some time before making his grand entrance on the world’s stage. Still, it was barely afternoon on Christmas Eve. And by the time night rolled around…

           “I hope so, sweet pea,” Natalia finally replied. “Wouldn’t that just be the best present ever?”

           “Yes,” Violetta stated. “It would be nice…”

           The little girl’s voice trailed off, and Natalia could sense her wanting to say something else and waited for the rest of her words.

           “But?” Natalia prompted.      

           “Well, as much as I want a cousin, I also want the book with the lock and key.”

           Only recently Violetta had gotten it into her head that she simply had to have a diary, preferably one with a unicorn adorning the cover so that she could record her most private musings… and keep the thoughts away from her younger sisters’ ever-prying eyes.

           “Something tells me Santa can manage that and a bouncing baby boy,” Natalia assured her daughter.

           “But doesn’t the stork bring the baby?” Violetta asked. Before Natalia had a chance to respond, she heard the sound of her parents’ voices

           “Natty!” Alessia approached with flowers in hand as Trevor balanced a giant blue teddy bear sporting a yellow bowtie, a plush pal to rival Harold in size.

           “How is she?” Trevor asked. “How’s the baby?”

           “The baby not here yet,” Violetta stressed with a roll of her eyes even as she reached forward to hug her grandparents.

           “Not yet?” Trevor asked. “Is there a problem?”

           “No problem,” Natalia said. “But there is a little thing called labor.”

           “I tried to tell him as much,” Alessia chimed in.

           “But she is fine, right?” Trevor asked.

           “Of course,” Natalia said. “And a little waiting gives Mike a chance to get here.”

           “He’s not here yet?” Trevor asked. “Is he alright?”

           “Just stuck in traffic,” Natalia said.

           “Can’t he just use his siren?” Trevor asked, and Natalia tilted her head to one side. “What? Isn’t that part of his gig?”

           “Lots of people driving to the city from New Jersey on Christmas Eve,” Natalia said. “And it’s not like he suddenly has access to the Batmobile. We can’t all be super spies.”

           The Brit blushed, and Natalia handed Violetta over to her mother as Ashtonja took the flowers.

           “But I’ll call him again,” Natalia continued. She took a few steps away from the others and barely began dialing when she felt a warm hand on her arm.

           “Hey.”

           “Atticus!”

           Forgetting the call for a few seconds, Natalia winded her arms around her husband’s neck and bestowed a quick kiss on his lips.

           “How is she?” Rafael asked.

           “Complained the whole way here,” Natalia said.

           “Why am I not surprised?”

           “She’s the most impatient mommy-to-be that I’ve ever seen.”          

           “Hopefully she won’t have to wait too much longer,” Rafael said.

           “And at least she got the time and place right.”

           “What do you mean?” he asked.

           “Meaning she made it to the hospital and had the good sense not to get the ball rolling right before a wedding reception.”

           Natalia gave her husband a wink, and Rafael sighed as he pulled her closer.

           “Our girls were originals from the start,” he said. “But a hospital birth should be a nice change of pace.”

           “Agreed. Of course, it might take a little rearranging for our Christmas.”

           “Which you know you can do with your hands tied behind your back,” he said.

           “Oh, absolutely. I’ll commandeer the cafeteria for my goose if I have to.”

           “We’re having goose?” he asked. “Did your grocery order get mixed up with Bob Cratchit’s?”

           “Just trying something new, Ebenezer Barba,” she teased, lightly kissing him again when she spied the Chief out of the corner of her eye.

           “Bill!” she called out, greeting him as Liv followed closely behind. “I was just about to call Mike again. He’ll be glad to know you’re here.”

           “Mike?” the Chief asked. “Wait. He’s not here?”

           “He’s coming back from New Jersey with Rollins,” Liv said. “I told you as much.”

           “Maybe we should send an escort to pick him up or something,” the Chief suggested.

           “My point exactly,” Trevor concurred.

           “Hold on a second,” Liv cut in.

           “Why?” Trevor asked.

           “It’s Jersey,” Liv said. “Not Mars. And you both know how this works.”

           “He doesn’t,” Violetta said, hugging her father as she pointed to Trevor. “He thought the baby would be here as soon as he walked in.”

           “I did not think that,” Trevor said.

           “But it could be any time,” the Chief argued. “And if Mike misses it, he---”

           “Guys, guys, guys!” Natalia cried out, waving her hands in the air. “There is still time. Let’s just all calm down.”

           The waiting room quieted, and Natalia squeezed Rafael’s hand before walking down the hallway to check on her sister.

           “What do you mean he’s not here yet?! I need him now. You of all people know that I need my husband.”

           “But Liv says that---”

           “I don’t care!” Maggie practically screamed. “Get him here at once!”

           Knowing this wasn’t the time to argue, Natalia backed away from the room and found Liv.

           “Can Bill call in a favor?” Natalia asked. “Last thing we want is Maggie arrested for a noise complaint on this most happiest of days.”

           With a small smirk, Liv patted her arm.

           “I’ll see what I can do.”

           “I’m here!”

           Dodds practically slid into the waiting room accompanied by Rollins. Carisi and Fin had already arrived, and the sergeant flew past the group before turning on his heel. He looked to the others and finally focused on Natalia.

           “Where is she?” Dodds asked his sister-in-law, wobbling where he stood.

           “Third door on the left,” Natalia said. “But just so you don’t get lost…”

           She started to guide him away when the Chief moved forward and slapped his son’s back.

           “So glad you made it,” he said. “Perks of the shield, right?”

           “Chopper was fast,” Dodds agreed.

           “And it’s not like he got sick or anything,” Rollins said, glaring at the stains on her shoes. As if on cue, Dodds lost what was left of his lunch, causing Holly to screech as Natalia and the Chief tried to steady the sergeant.

           “Kid, you okay?” the Chief nervously asked.

           “On me,” Dodds said. “Told the pilot to go faster.”

           “That he did,” Rollins muttered, retreating to the restroom as Dodds was finally led to his wife’s side.

           “You’re here!” Maggie said, her hands on her belly, her breaths coming a little harder as she met his eyes. “And you… you don’t look so great.”

           “I’m fine, Maggie,” Dodds promised.

           “I don’t think so,” Maggie said. “Is it the flu? Do you need to lie down?”

           “No flu, Maggie,” Natalia said. Jutting her chin towards the Chief, she worked with the older man to bring the sergeant to rest in the narrow bed at the ballerina’s side.

           “Mike?” Maggie whispered, stroking his face.

           “I’m fine,” he said. “Just tried to set a new airspeed record to get to you in time.”

           “That sounds dangerous,” Maggie said. “What if something had happened to you?”

           He swallowed a few times, and Natalia held her breath until Dodds eyes focused on his wife’s, and he cupped her face in his hands.

           “Nothing is happening to any one of us,” he said. “And before the day is out, we’re getting the best Christmas present in all of Manhattan.”

           “Amen,” Maggie murmured, a tranquil wave overtaking her face as she smiled and nuzzled her nose to his.

           “It’ll be nice to have a new member of the family at the table for Christmas dinner,” Carisi said as he brought Rollins a cup of coffee.

           “Tio Sonny?”

           “Yes, Little V?”

           “You do know that the baby will not be able to eat Mami’s food or sit up as soon he’s born, right?”

           Rafael chuckled. To Carisi’s credit, he simply nodded, and the ADA kissed the top of his daughter’s head before beckoning to Natalia so the pair could step aside.

           “You doing okay?” he asked.

           “Yeah.”

           “How long has it been now?”

           “Almost eleven hours,” Natalia said.

           “And is there a happy ending in sight?”

           “Atticus, not you, too!”

           “No, no, no,” Rafael said, lifting her hands to his lips and kissing each one in turn. “Contrary to current popular opinion, the Harvard graduate in me comprehends the biology of the moment.”

           “But?” Natalia asked.

           “The big brother wants his little sister to have her baby in her arms already.”

           Smiling through a soft haze of tears, Natalia hugged him and pressed her lips to his ear.

           “Same here, Atticus. Same here.”

Tagging: @dreila03 @minidodds @sonshine-carisii @mrsrafaelbarba @delia26 @morbid-apricots @thefanficfaerie @lyssa1385 @letty-o @kkemp43 @gibbs274 @fortheloveofallthingsraul @destroyedbydickwolf @southern-magnolia @imagine-hopper @sweetsummertime99 @obfuscateyummy

[thebestdefence]

Please give this post a like if you would like a starter from Mike Dodds.

The starters will be of varying length (at least 3-4 paragraphs). If you are a multimuse, please specify which of your muses you would like the starter to be for. If you have any plot ideas, or would like me to use one of Dodds' wishlist ideas, please leave a comment or contact via IM's.

[arentthemeasures]

|| I'm looking for thoughts on the following muses. If there is more than one faceclaim listed, it means I'm not sure who to choose and open to suggestions or preferences.

William Willis/Will Benson (I Still Know What You Did Last Summer): Damian Hardung

Scarecrow/Man in the Mask (The Strangers): Henry Cavill

Axel Palmer/The Miner (My Bloody Valentine): Alex Hogh Anderson

Kiernan Wilcox (Scream TV series): Logan Lerman/Joseph Quinn/Dylan O'Brien?

Charlie Grimille/The Hangman (The Gallows): Glen Powell/Joe Keerey/Nicholas Galitzine?

Pfeiffer Ross (The Gallows): Madelyn Cline/Hannah Dodd?

Stuntman Mike McKay or John Ryder?: Alex Calvert

[hmel78]

In conversation with Brian Parrish ...

1973 - the year in which emerging talent included ‘AC/DC’, ‘Bachman Turner Overdrive’, ‘Bad Company’ , ‘Stillwater’, ‘Television’, ‘The Tubes’ ; albums were released by ‘Wishbone Ash’, ‘Nazareth’, ‘Uriah Heep’, ‘Thin Lizzy’, ‘Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band’, ‘Aerosmith’, ‘Mike Oldfield’ ... to name just a few. ‘YES’ were already big on the scene, as were ‘The Rolling Stones’, ‘The Who’, ‘David Bowie’, ‘Black Sabbath’, ‘Led Zeppelin’, ‘Wings’ - it’s really quite a mind-blowing list isn’t it? A seriously exciting time to be around for any music lover, but imagine being a musician at the heart of that scene ... Enter Brian Parrish. 

For many of you reading this, Brian Parrish will already be a familiar name -  amongst many fans of ‘prog’, he is held in high regard as the guitarist / vocalist with ‘Badger’, but this is by no means all that he should be remembered for, or associated with. In fact, to document ALL of his history would require an entire magazine edition of it’s own! ‘Badger’ were co-founded by keyboardist Tony Kaye after he left ‘Yes’, along with David Foster - the pair found drummer Roy Dyke, who thus suggested Parrish, and voila!  Rehearsals began in September 1972, a deal with Atlantic Records followed in quick succession, and with the dawn of 1973 came their first album “One Live”. From a ‘fame’ perspective, it might seem that ‘Badger’ was the point at which Parrish suddenly appeared on radar, but prior to this he really hadn’t been a stranger in the music industry. Parrish had grown up in the “Skiffle” era and says that he “saw the Light“ when he heard Lonnie Donegan, and the wealth of American Roots music at the time.  He Received his first guitar at the age of 11, and despite passing his 11+ exam a year early, cites ��once I had a guitar in my hands I had no more interest in, or use for, formal education” - by the time he was 17, he was in a touring band, and shortly after that the doors opened wide to the world of music and songwriting, on landing his first ‘professional’ job as lead guitarist for rock n roll legend Gene Vincent. During the next few years of touring, and residencies at the Star Club in Hamburg with ‘The Londoners’ [aka ‘The Knack’], Parrish had also landed himself a publishing deal and achieved success with songs that he wrote for Johnny Hallyday, & ‘Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Tich’ amongst others. He was in demand for sessions, playing on albums for Jerry Lee Lewis, Graeme Edge (‘TheMoody Blues’), Jon Lord (‘Deep Purple’) and on hits for the likes of ‘Medicine Head’ (“One and One”), and all the while striving towards his own solo career. Whilst preparing demos for a solo album, Brian ran into old friend Paul Gurvitz (formerly of ‘The Londoners’ / ‘The Knack’) who agreed to help with vocals. The blend of harmonies was so good that they decided to make it a joint project - ‘Parrish & Gurvitz’. George Martin (the 5th Beatle) heard the P&G tapes, and subsequently signed them to his newly formed production company - the resulting album which he produced was hailed as the debut of the “next Beatles”, however it wasn’t long afterwards that ‘Parrish & Gurvitz’ went their separate ways. ‘Badger’ marked the next milestone in Parrish’s career - “One Live” entered the U.S. Billboard charts, and was widely acclaimed. The band had already toured with YES, and Black Sabbath ; and then suddenly, in what he describes as the hallmark of his “bad timing” , Brian Parrish elected to leave the band more or less on the eve of their American tour ... A solo deal with Chas Chandler (manager of Jimi Hendrix and Slade) followed, but his debut album “Love On My Mind” proved to be less successful than he anticipated. From there he moved increasingly into production and writing, becoming what they call a “back room boy” rather than a performer. Whilst he continued to take session work, his live performances all but stopped-  yet throughout the years, he has never stopped writing. Brian suffered a brain tumour in the late 90s - the ensuing surgery, whilst 100% successful in removing the tumour, left him without hearing in his right ear ; meaning he has had to re-learn the recording process in the absence of a “stereo” picture - it did not, by any stretch of the imagination, deter him from carrying on with his career in music! In 2004 Brian returned to the stage when invited to perform in Hamburg as a special guest for a “Star Club Night”.   In 2007 he released “End Game” - his first album of original songs for 30 years, and also formed a band. They still play regularly. This year [2016] saw the release of “Traveller” - a ‘concept’ album in which BP takes us on 13 of life’s journeys, with notes to the listener along the way : “We are all travellers with a one way ticket for our own unique journey through life – and our choices define us”. One thing is for certain, Brian’s choices have certainly defined him, and his life has indeed, so far, been a colourful one in which he muses “Music has dominated my journey, intensifying my experience” , and hopes that his own music is enjoyed as part of yours. He continues to work, exploring new directions, and tells us that “the best is yet to come”! If the new album “Traveller” is anything to go by then we will all be in for a treat. “Traveller” itself is one of those timeless records which contains something that will appeal to just about every taste in music. We caught up with Brian recently - curious to know more about “Badger” as there is very little documented, and also the bits before, inbetween, and afterwards, that have formed the road map of his own journey ... Helen Robinson : By the time Badger’s “One Live” was recorded you were already a ways towards carving a successful career in music ; your first professional gig was with Gene Vincent - how did you land that?

Brian Parrish : I started young.  Somehow getting a publishing deal at around age 17 ( I am not necessarily saying my songs were good, but the publishers obviously thought I might make some money for them - that´s how it works). Our band had done tours of American Army bases in Europe with success, especially among the black soldiers - I believe this was due to our material being R&B (black) influenced. I knew nothing of “race” issues - quite naive, I was! Upon our return we got the opportunity to try out with Gene Vincent, as Paul’s [Gurvitz] father was working for Don Arden, who handled Gene in the UK. I think our musicianship was limited at that point, especially when you consider that Cliff Gallup (one of the all time greats!) had been Genes guitar player in the original ‘Blue Caps’ ; Jeff Beck still cites Gallup as a great influence. Where we scored, was stagecraft - we had been learning from the get go ... and possibly because we were cheap! Both, I imagine!

HR : From there you toured and recorded quite extensively with ‘The Londoners’, and you also had a brief stint with ‘New York Public Library’ - so what made you want to go solo?

‘The Londoners’ worked pretty much nonstop through 64 / 65, scoring heavily in the “Star Club” Hamburg, where we were hugely popular. We also worked and recorded under the name ‘The Knack’, and had a near hit with a Ray Davis song. ‘The Kinks’ connection also came about through Paul’s father, who by then was working for their management. We recorded 4 or 5 other singles - one may have been written by me.  They went nowhere. Finally, shortly before Christmas, I announced that I wished to be home for Christmas Day, so please accept no gig if offered.   There was a job offered in maybe Scotland or Wales (I am not sure, but in pre-motorway Britain it would have been a slog) and the money was good, but I said “I am not doing it!” They gave me an ultimatum: Play or leave the band.    I left, of course. In order to keep playing I joined ‘NYPL’, who as ‘The Cherokees’ had played the “Star Club” with us. They had a hit under their belts but opted for a new name and a fresh start. We released some singles, not all of them bad, some written by me, and all of them died.  For collectors only, I am afraid! When I had the offer to do something solo, I took it.

HR : You became highly sought after as a session musician, and made an impact within the song writing world - what’s the most memorable thing in that period of your career?

BP : I played more sessions than I can remember. Things with Roger Cook, a bunch for ‘Dave Dee, Dozy, Mick & Titch’, for whom I also wrote some songs. It was all very eclectic. I would like to say I stayed true to blues roots, or whatever, but the truth is, the work came up and I took the jobs. Ken Dodd was one, for example. For credibility points I would add that I did a couple of sessions for Paul Jones. In the following years I would play with Jerry Lee Lewis, Tony Ashton (another Star Club friend) and Jon Lord, but there were many that I do not remember. Someone told me I was on a session with Robin Gibb. I really do not remember! Complete blank. I did have some early songwriting success with Johnny Hallyday - Huge in France and Europe. I remember the publishers were very pleased, although Paul Gurvitz (know as Curtis then) asked “Who is he?”

HR : You actually teamed up with Paul Gurvitz next, and were signed up by none other than George Martin! That’s kind of a big deal isn’t it?

BP : The way that happened was that I started a solo project with Lou Reizner, and began working up material in his Knightsbridge apartment, which he gave me the keys for while he was away in the States ...  Me and a Revox . I was taking a break and walking in the street nearby when Paul drove up - “Whats happening ?” etc.  I told him what I was doing and said “Come and listen”. Paul and the drummer from ‘The Knack’ had formed a trio with brother Adrian, calling themselves “Gun”. They had a respectable hit , but 2 albums later had called it a day, so Paul was free and I invited him to sing harmonies with me on my project. Our voices have always jelled, so when Lou returned from the U.S. I said “what about if we did this as a double act?”. In the spirit of the times he said “OK if that’s what you want”. I persuaded Paul to call himself Gurvitz (his real name). I said “it’s more memorable and has authenticity. Think of Art Garfunkle”. We recorded a pretty good album at Island studios, with the guys who would later be our band. Lou drafted in a manager from Canada, and he ran to George Martin with the tapes, without Lou Reizner´s  knowledge. Et Tu Brute? He was a snake really. Long story short , George loved us but wanted to re-record the songs, jettison a couple, and most importantly produce the album. ‘The Beatles’ had just disbanded, and had been huge, so this WAS a big deal. We were not overawed, but were ready to learn stuff and listen to his comments and suggestions. He absolutely respected our instincts, but was able to enhance everything when scoring string parts. Also having worked with John and Paul he was very open to experimentation sonically. No digital effects and limitless tracks in those days! He demystified everything for me, and there is no occasion in front of a mixer, or working on harmonies when I do not draw on what I learned.  A master-and a gentleman. Being hailed as the “new Beatles” was ultimately the kiss of death. We needed time to develop our own identity free from misconceptions and a public who did not WANT a NEW Beatles! We had inherited the infrastructure but we were not ‘The Beatles’, nor wanted to be!

HR :  No, no I see how that would have been detrimental, even with the backing of such major business influences - so,  ‘Parrish & Gurvitz’ was short lived?

BP : Yes. We toured the States with our band a good six months after the album came out. Disastrous timing. No-one would invest the kind of money and logistics demanded of touring without a current “product” to promote and sell. Also we had started on the second album - a more electric, rockier thing than the acoustic vibe of the first one. The band were great but the style of presentation was unexpected, and the new songs not known even to those who had heard the first album. The management were inexperienced in this, and we had already moved on stylistically. We were not about to bow to the demands of the U.S. Record labels “We didn´t sign a ROCK band!” - so the plug was pulled two weeks before the end of the tour. We returned to the UK, and went into the studio to finish the second album, but the honeymoon was over and we could no longer keep paying the band. They joined ‘Peter Frampton’ as an already slick working unit. We dumped the management. Paul and I separated - he going into a project with his brother and Ginger Baker, and I was approached by my friend Roy Dyke who was playing with Tony Kaye. “We need songs, a guitar player and a singer” he said, “I can do those things” I said. Cut to next scene : the rehearsal rooms where Badger would be formed.

HR : Ha! Yes - ‘Badger’. I would like to just sidestep there for a moment though, if I may ... It’s 1972 - that point in music history may well have been the ‘peak’ when you look at the wealth of talent and genuine passion for music that existed ; and remarkably the fact, as you’ve already pointed out, that by that time ‘The Beatles’ had disbanded ; Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and Janis Joplin were already gone - what was it like to be a working musician throughout that time?

BP : An unbelievable time, Yes ... We hung out with a lot of these people. I saw Jimi at a club called Blaizes for the first time. Looking like a black Bob Dylan playing “Like a Rolling Stone” with an upside down Stratocaster - but sounding otherworldly. I could not figure out what he was doing, never mind how he was doing it. I was barely three feet away. He played someone else’s guitar upside down (left hander, was Jimi). He freaked everybody, Eric [Clapton] included. We would meet all of these folks in the clubs. Janis chased our bass player all around the Revolution club I remember. He was quite innocent and the Jack Daniels toting Lady would have devoured him for breakfast! As you say, these artistes were all gone by ´72. I do not know if there were “lows” on a conscious level, but the substance use had hit high levels and I nearly died on a couple of occasions. I was rehearsing at one point with Paul Kossoff, who was in a worse mess than I - and as we know, he died sometime later. Keith Moon, who had been a friend was another. There is quite a list of drug casualties. Better not to dwell upon it. Mostly it was still an amazing time for creativity and one still had the feeling that everything was possible. We were in the vanguard of the counter culture and we were changing the world. HR : I’m in awe Brian, actually ... It really did change the world - certainly the face of music. To be a part of that would have been exhilariating, I’m sure.  I’m fascinated, because I missed it all in person - there was so much going on politically, and musically - including  the birth of ‘prog’ ...

BP : Well, The “prog” thing which was often quasi-classical and Gothic in tone, may have been started in ‘67 with “Whiter Shade of Pale”.  All the classically trained players - Emmerson, Wakeman etc. thought “Right! We´re on now!”  - By 71 /72 it was in full swing. West Coast music flourished, Blues music was marginalised but “Soul”  with a message thrived (Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mayfield, Staples Singers) -even the Godfather of Soul, James Brown was  smart enough to catch the Zeitgeist -“I´m Black and I´m Proud” he sang and it all resonated with the Civil Rights movement.

HR : It all goes hand in hand. But ... going back to You , and to add further perspective to what you were doing in 1972 - Elvis was still around, Lennon and McCartney had gone solo, and many of the UK’s (even the worlds) best known, best loved, bands and artists were already established in the public eye  - ‘The Who’, ‘The Rolling Stones’, ‘David Bowie’, ‘Pink Floyd’, ‘Elton John’, ‘Led Zeppelin’ , ‘Genesis’, ‘Queen’, ‘Black Sabbath’, ‘YES’ etc  ... taking all of the afore mentioned artists into account - they were the people you hung out with, but how conscious were you of them as competition?

BP : I think any musicians forming a band at that time just got on with the job in hand. There were plenty of acts I really liked, but I regarded none as competition. David (Bowie) was a primped up Marcel Marceau acolyte, who would brilliantly morph into whatever took his fancy, exploring Dadaism and so on. Great - but nothing to do with my universe. ‘Zeppelin’ were huge of course (we sat together in Madison Square Gardens to watch Elvis during the Parrish & Gurvitz time) ; ‘Paul McCartney & Wings’ were flying (the correct verb I assume),and I had been privileged to be around Air Studio when Paul with orchestra arranged by George Martin recorded “Live and Let Die”. Breathtaking. ‘Queen’ were nothing like as successful as they would become, but the others you mention were already very big. When Tony Kaye left ‘Yes’ and we began to rehearse ‘Badger’, I had little interest in what ‘Yes’ had been doing - seeing our music simply as the best we could do together without labels, and by extension no comparison, let alone competition with anyone in particular ; certainly not Tony´s ex band. I wasn´t even sure we were that good, to be honest - and I was always insecure about my own playing. We have had enough compliments over the years (my guitar playing included) that I am able now to accept it with good grace and gratitude!

HR : And so you should ... Not only was “One Live” your debut album, but it was also Live (funnily enough!), which was somewhat of a rare thing to do - why did you release that as opposed to a studio recording?

BP : It was not an artistic choice, but a practical one. We were playing  with ‘Yes’ who had ‘the Stones’ Mobile Studio on hand to do a “live” concert recording. To record ‘Badger’ also, was going to cost a few reels of tape and some mixing time to follow. I was not sure it would work, but I remember the “Rolling Stone” review at the time said it was the favourite album (of the reviewer) and if this was what ‘Badger’ could do live, may they never feel the need to set foot in a recording studio. It was a fluke really.

HR : Is it completely Live, or did you work on it afterwards?

There was just a little overdubbing /repair work. Notably on one song (would you believe I forget which one?). We had recorded the songs on two separate nights, and as we listened to a version of the song in question all of the vocal mikes went down half way through. Not in the auditorium, but the recording microphones. The version was great, and there were tempo discrepancies with the recording from the second night. In the digital age this would call no problem, but at that time this was a big problem. Could we lift the vocal from the second night? Splice the 2 halves together despite the tempo problems? Some of the instruments spilled onto the mikes we were singing in, so to re sing in the studio would still leave us with a significant change in sound. Our engineer Geoff Haslam helped us mix and match various parts with minimal re-singing. We tried to keep it as “live” as possible for the sake of integrity. Actually the night following the Rainbow concerts we played in Glasgow, and this was without question a much better performance. It was not recorded! HR : Typical! When you consider the impact this album had, amongst all those other huge albums in 1973 - did you feel that the band should have been bigger, or lasted longer than it did?

BP : Well one sees everything differently with the benefit of hind sight. The “business” or “career” head might have advised “Stick with it. Ride the train! The band is getting such a reaction, growing in popularity, so with touring and so on you could push the album higher in the U.S. charts, to further cement what you have done-and in time, maybe come up with a good second album”. We will never know. I would be interested to hear what the others might answer to this question. I left the band pretty much on the eve of the U.S. tour, as you know. The drug intake was prodigious to say the least, and I was becoming disenchanted with the work rate in terms of working up new material. Frustrated songwriter stuff, but not being “sober”, of sound mind and body (!) my judgement might have been impaired. I may have been too hasty. The others thought it was a tantrum, or something I could be talked out of, but it wasn´t. It was a lousy business move on my part, I would be in a better position today, if I had stayed with the band whose popularity was increasing (and if I had not died, as so many did!). Whatever. I dropped the band in the lurch, and still feel a little guilty about that. I liked them all, and still do. We had something……. Writing wise I was travelling in an altogether funkier direction - and whatever ‘Badger’ were, they weren´t funk (I reject the “prog” label). What happened next was Jackie Lomax replaced me and lo and behold, took them in a funkier direction, with the addition of Kim Gardener on bass. Jackie was a great talent, but the public did not want a reinvented ‘Badger’, so the second album more or less bombed, and my solo album did little better.

HR : Well “One Live” has certainly stood the test of time and secured some loyal fans! Given that you were the main songwriter, how do you feel about the fact that so many people still cite it as a pivotal moment in their musical journey?

BP : At the time I was not so impressed with it. A little bemused even. I was arrogant enough to think there would always be another door opening for me, with something interesting behind it. I had always bumped into people who liked what I did and assumed it would stay that way. I forgot a crucial factor, which is that a young artiste / band is much more marketable. That´s another theme, however. Over the years, right up to the present day I have heard from many people who hold “One Live” in special regard. I also have had feedback from many young people, including musicians, who love it. I think it has to do with the energy. I included a ‘Badger’ song in a concert last year and it seemed so fast! I thought “My God did we really play a whole set at this pace?” It was exhilarating on one level, exhausting on another. Overall I am much more comfortable with ‘Badger’ these days. I think it was a very good album in retrospect. I feel vindicated in respect of the writing (although there are lyrics I would change if I were to do it today) - I would definitely change the album credits to reflect the fact that I wrote four of the six pieces. ‘Badger’ has given me a little cult status. Just a little, mind you, but enough to prove I lived and played on the planet. Oh ... and I am not finished yet!

HR : Well that’s good to hear - we like having you around ... I’m curious about another dynamic of the album - “One Live” - it was produced by Jon Anderson of ‘YES’, but with the departure of Tony Kaye from their unit, were the band friends, or foe?

BP : Should I talk about Jon? First of all I like him. We are very different kinds of people - and certainly his approach to recording is a little more “clinical” than mine, shall we say? I believe that if anyone “produced” ONE LIVE it was Geoff Haslam, the engineer who spent every studio hour with the band and technically and creatively had as much to do with the finished product as we, the writers and musicians. He was great at recreating the live ambience and getting it on tape. Jon came in very little and tended to focus on vocals more than anything. Long story short - I think the folks who would take care of marketing fancied the idea of having Jon’s credit on the sleeve. This would maintain the link with the ‘Yes’ fan base. I see that, of course. Certainly, whatever the undercurrents might have been between Tony and the ‘Yes’ guys, we were all friends. I greatly admired Steve Howe, without wishing to do what he was (is) capable of. I was more pentatonic based, as is David Gilmour, for example, but Steve was perfect for the band. Rick Wakeman too, was a good mate. Great player, funny, intelligent guy and fond of a drink. He fit very well with us on a social level. Remember we played the concerts with them when the recording took place. All friendly.

HR : Happy Campers! You also toured with Black Sabbath - knowing Ozzy, I can only imagine the shenanigans! Would we be wrong to assume that it was one big party?

BP : A detailed answer to that question would be mostly unprintable. Shenanigans does not begin to cover it. We had a break in the tour - 5 days, a week maybe. Ozzy did not want to break the party up. He loved us and said “Come and stay at our house - all of you”, including road crew. We tore it up. I am not sure his wife was amused. She kept a pretty low profile. On the road it was all the smashed TV sets, drink and nonsense you would expect. We were thrown out of a hotel in Italy (Bologna, I believe), passport numbers taken and both bands and the entire crew - perhaps 25 / 30 people were banned for life. This was at 4.30 in the morning, and not in any way to do with noise, breakages (for which we paid) but something less than respectful our party did to a statue of the Pope, which was on the same floor as all our rooms. There were Mafia related events which took place during the Italian leg of the tour which would take a lot of space here and these stories are perhaps best left untold. A party, certainly. I paid my bill in brain cells, I fear.

HR : Hmmm. I’m laughing, but ... not at the brain damage!   Maybe it was for the best that you left the ‘Badger’ party when you did?! You next signed a deal with Chas Chandler, which really marked your biggest step towards becoming a solo artist didn’t it?

BP : Yes it did. I had some material which had not “clicked” with ‘Badger’, and having left the fold I knew that whatever happened next, songs would be a valuable currency. I had friends with connections to Chas. He had managed Jimi, who had recently passed, and was already back on comfortable (pop) territory with ‘Slade’.  He loved my stuff and told me he was starting a new label and that I could have complete control over the recording. I believe I should have had a co producer, or at least a second pair of ears in retrospect. That is another theme, however. HR : That album “Love On My Mind” was tagged as “Blue Eyed Soul” on account of it’s funk / soul vibe ... You were essentially being true to the style of music you loved, but did you enjoy making the record?

BP : White boys can´t do soul - or they are certainly not supposed to! Actually I think the songs were good and, in the main, came out as I would have wished. Good arrangements, some great musicians. I found my own performance less convincing. My singing always seemed detached to my ears. If I had not been wearing the producers hat, concentrating on arrangements and so forth , we might have got a performance. Few could do that. Prince showed us all how its done subsequently. As it is, the notes and arrangements are OK, everything in its place, but it seems emotion free, at least to me. Blue Eyed soul indeed! I am far better equipped to produce myself today, but would always wish for a co producer (as I have in the shape of Steff Ulrich on TRAVELLER). You have to stretch yourself, and it helps when someone is pushing, and offering creative criticism. I bowed to Steffs instincts more than once whilst making TRAVELLER, although I could have pulled rank and said “My songs, brother. I´m the boss” - I think the album is better for my not having done that. Ah humility at last! I am sure we will talk about that later.

HR : Sure ... and we’ll talk more about “Traveller” too, but around the time of “Love On My Mind”, Did something change for you at that point? It seems that after working so hard for your first solo release, you then made a move towards the production side of the business, becoming - as you say yourself, “A back room boy” - were you more comfortable there?

BP : This was never planned or envisioned. I had publishing deals as folks always liked my writing.  I should have stuck out for recording deals in tandem with publishing, ensuring that records would come out with my name on. At the very least some level of success might have been on the cards as some were still anticipating some news from the guy who had been with ‘Badger’. It was a strange time. I had no band, no records out, some sessions certainly - but publishers pushing me for material. Most publishers were not what I would call working publishers as they once had been. Less and less were we seeing covers generated by publishers. This was the beginning of the “writer/producer” era. Many people were finding artistes as vehicles for their material and producing them.  Alan Tarney is a case in point, producing Leo Sayer, Cliff Richard, Barbara Dixon and so on. I did a little of this, producing Alvin Stardust, for example. Not my finest hour I think. I was still torn between the need to play and sing and not to be limited to one genre and the fact that the publishers vision was often at odds with the labels. I was kind of fading into the background rather than choosing it. There was a point where I was getting “clean and sober” as the popular expression would have it, so there was important stuff to focus on there, and I never for a moment stopped writing ...

HR : You also worked on the “Many People, One Planet” project through the United Nations?

BP : This was an interesting, and somewhat unexpected detour. The concept was to provide education resource packs for underprivileged Italian school children. There is a huge divide between those schools which had computers and up to date visual aides, and the poorer schools where, for example, if the roof of the school needed fixing the parents would give up their time to do the work. A North / South divide basically. The resource packs were re usable, and so passed along to the other students in succeeding years. My job was to persuade companies to get behind it financially. In return for which they would receive a small credit on the laminated packs. Many people became involved, including Zucchero - something of an Italian musical icon. The high point for me was to travel to Rome to meet some very excited school children, attend the launch at the UN headquarters there, and the director had privately asked me if I could formulate some words to address the UN ! I had the experience of hearing my “speech” delivered in Italian. Of course we were provided with headphones and little handsets where we could select a language. There were live translators speaking French, English, Spanish and so on. Quite exciting. I thought “I am addressing the UN!”. I wasn´t of course, but actually seeing the joy on the faces of the kids was a necessary humility shot.

HR : Sounds like a rewarding detour ... meanwhile, a 30 year gap between solo records ensued ...

BP : A gap between publicly released recordings, certainly - I suppose it must seem that I just disappeared, although I never stopped writing or working in music, as I said. You may know I was diagnosed with a brain tumour in 1999, which was kind of a banana skin in the road at that point. I had been experiencing unpleasant symptoms, including hearing problems for some time. No need to dwell on any of this as I am super fit these days! I had the successful operation to remove it early in 2000. I was left deaf in my right ear, so some re-training was necessary. All far behind me now ... but my first foray into live music following this was in Hamburg in 2004. It was strange as the information I was getting onstage soundwise was completely different. It wasn´t easy, but I resolved to work as much as possible in this altered “soundscape”. More gigs followed, some in Germany, and to make a long story short I have lived here since 2006. I wanted to see how I could function recording-wise . In the 5 or 6 years since the operation - my “recovery years” if I can put it that way, a lot had changed technically. I opted for a small multi track digital recorder, which I had then to learn to use. It was not only that I had dropped off the Radar from a public standpoint. I had missed stuff!

HR : So along comes “End Game” in 2007 - It’s a completely solo album in that, on top of the writing, you play ALL the instruments too. Did you feel a greater reward from producing a record like that?

BP : It was a “necessity as the mother of Invention” scenario, I would say. I was alone working with my digital recorder laying tracks alone as I had for a long time when I made demos. So I played guitar tracks, of course, but also bass , some keyboards (which was laborious as my skills are less than rudimentary). I did all vocals. I have much experience with harmonies. ( you may notice that many tracks on the new TRAVELLER album have harmony vocals by me - not all though, as I love the texture of girls voices. The “amen corner” as Ray Charles used to call it)  I also worked with a digital drum machine. I was not really wonderful with it - there are people who could do it so much better. I think the ENDGAME songs are pretty good, and it was an important stepping stone for me. That said, I would like to re record the material utilising the recording methods (and musicians) I had for TRAVELLER. Actually I have started tinkering with some of them in my studio. I think you are familiar with the “live” version of “Many Moons Ago” (from ENDGAME). There is a vid on YouTube. This is an example of a good song (in my opinion!) changing, especially dynamically, with the participation of a group of musicians.

HR : Yes - it is a good song, I will vouch for that - I love the album - Time and Tide particularly. I would urge people to seek it out ... You’ve touched briefly on your hearing, and having to work around that these days -  You’ve found a new love for performing , so apart from your ‘altered soundscape’, is it a different experience to when you were playing at first?

BP : Very different. In some ways I am more confident as I have a better idea of what I am doing these days. I can draw on a lot of material from my back catalogue. When I started I was too nervous about introducing my own songs into the act, and our focus was in being creative with other songs which we liked. I always tried to make some kind original statement in the interpretation of other material. That is something which continues today. I enjoy performing R&B tunes, for example - but if you want to hear the familiar arrangements get a juke box or go see a cover band! These days I love contact with the audience. Some musicians are less comfortable in a stage environment and just get their heads down and play, probably speaking very little. We don´t do lasers and dancing(!) but there is a performance element, which I like. Bruce Springsteen has talked about a time required to psych himself up, to go out and “be Bruce Springsteen”. I identify a lot because there is a zone which I find I must enter in order to pull it off. It´s a “front man” thing, probably.

HR : Haha! You know, I have learned over the years not to invade a ‘front man’s’ zone before he goes onstage ... I’m not sure people who haven’t grown up around the business ever truly appreciate what it takes to psyche yourself up, but - we’re onto at least the 3rd different theme if we go down that road now! Which, talking of 3rds, brings us nicely to your 3rd album - “Traveller” - which you’ve mentioned a couple of times there. It’s just been released, and is sort of a retrospective collection of songs about your own journey through life ... was it an emotional album to make?

BP : Well I am not sure it is ALL about my journey through life. Some of it has to be of course, but I wanted it not only to be about an individual experience but through character songs, which most are, to reference a commonality. You must have experienced that thing of thinking “I wonder if other people have felt this way? “ ... This is personal, individual, as I perceive it, but with millions of people on the planet I can´t be “the only one”. Some of TRAVELLER was personal and emotions do come into play, yes . I had a lot of material so the final choice of songs, the sequence, even the time between tracks was something I paid a lot of attention to. In an age where few people play an album right through and listen as we used to, this was perhaps, superfluous, but I wanted the experience to be there for anyone who elected to listen in this manner. HR : How did you decide on which tracks, or journeys, to include?

I had around fifty songs - some accumulated over time and others newly written. I had the song “Traveller” and had wanted to loosely base an album around the idea of each of us being a traveller and that each of life´s experiences may be perceived as a small journey, each of which contribute to our life story and the greater journey. My task then was to choose songs which would reflect some of these experiences. I knew right away that I could reference various musical styles - dip into musical waters I have sailed in, and that this might enhance the sense of variation in our experiences. I threw out any ideas of chronology right away. It is not, nor is it meant to be, my life story. The label calls it an “acoustic road movie” and I like that. My deliberations regarding sequence was about taking the listener through a series of moods. The opening song “Land of the Night Games” is about falling into the dream state. Dreams do not follow any conscious logic. They just are. I wanted to start with this as a preparation. To give myself and the listener permission to go anywhere. In this way themes like sex, loss, our spiritual quest, death, faith, joy, reflection etc. can be explored whether I have written from a personal perspective or in character, which I do quite a lot. “Angel of Death” for example, is not about me, although each of us will cross that bridge eventually. I could talk at length about how this came about, as I could with each of the songs if time and space would allow. I am not sure how important or even interesting this would be. Suffice to say that there was a song called “Oh Death” which was part of the African American blues / folk story which I never forgot. Library of Congress stuff. Alan Lomax was the Marco Polo of American folk music. Without his obsession and tireless enthusiasm we would have none of these recordings. There is more to this shit than Robert Johnson!

HR : HAHA! Well, musically, I think it’s fairly eclectic - for anyone wishing to check it out, there’s some blues, rock n roll, funk, a good helping of classic rock, some great guitar work, it’s a little jazzy in places, with a hint of country, and even a ‘nod’ to Bruce Springsteen -  generically the influences are clear, but how much have you been influenced by other musicians?

BP : Now we are into an area I enjoy talking about, because this relates to my own journey! I have inevitably been influenced by everything I have heard. I have been required to play in different styles / situations so I guess it is not too difficult to slot into different genres. As a writer my only limitations are to do with technical ability. First and foremost I am a music fan, so when I am noodling and something comes up, some kind of shape, I try not to hinder the process. I try to get Brian out of the way and listen. At some point I might think “ah this is kind of an R&B thing”. The task then becomes trying not to be too generic - not to churn out a musical cliche´. On TRAVELLER I had no problem developing the songs consciously drawing upon different genres - so that “Slow Riding” for example is absolutely recognizable as coming from a “soul” tradition, but hopefully with modern production values and some arrangement features which are not purely from that time. Your comment about different styles on the album is precisely the obstacle which kept labels from getting involved in the 80s and beyond. “We don´t know how to market you. Are you Rock? Blues? Soul / Funk? Prog?” The answer would have been “yes”  .

HR : At least you have the freedom to create now ... We talked earlier about your musical peers in the 70s - many of whom WE, the fans, would call our ‘heroes’, but I guess to you they were just friends - so beyond them, have you any defining moments where you’ve met or worked with the people you’ve looked up to? BP : It is always great to play with people who are good at what they do. In my early teens I saw what you might call a “pop exploitation” film which included Little Richard and a clip of Gene Vincent doing “Be Bop-Alula” which galvanised me. Just a couple of years later I was playing with him. For a young musician it was like winning the lottery. I was and still am in awe of George Martin, from whom I learned a great deal. Peter Green was a good friend of mine back in the day, although we lost contact as he became increasingly withdrawn and suffered mental problems.  A truly gentle soul - and I am glad that he is around and still playing. Herbie Hancock got up with my band a year or two after my solo album came out and blew us away.  He only inspired me to practice! I worked with Eric Burdon, as you may know, and played a Wembley concert with him and Carlos Santana. I met Carlos and his wonderful band back stage and marvelled at what they were doing together. Their example of interaction is something I took away with me. Years later I wrote a Latin style tune - not really my forte ´style wise, but a good song and maybe I was drawing on the Santana experience. I think a writer is like a magpie ! Those birds steal things, and I strictly avoid that, but I certainly borrow stuff. I have contact to many people whom I hold in high regard. I met Albert Lee on a Jerry Lee Lewis session in the 70s and we catch up when he gets to Germany - He lives in California where some of my British musical friends (Tony Kaye, Brian Chatton ) are living. They hang out together certainly, but I am happily ensconced miles away, here in North Germany where I have a small circle of musicians as friends. Otherwise I meet some great musicians who come through to play the Music Hall where I live, including my big favourites - Little Feat, our friend Eric Burdon played here not long ago. I get to meet them when they come through but writing is mostly a solitary occupation, so I am pretty much in studio captivity. I do socialise a little and for example Blue Weaver, veteran keyboard man from the Strawbs, Bee Gees and before that, Amen Corner is a really good friend who lives here in the village. Not surprisingly he is on a couple of tracks of TRAVELLER , and he is my “go to “ guy if I have technical problems - He is way better than me with technology. A half a step away from being a gadget freak. He is always telling me of the new toys he has bought for his studio. So there are dinners and inevitable improv sessions.

HR : I saw that Blue is on the album too - It’s a really interesting record, and you’ve paid a great deal of attention to the ‘whole package’ - the artwork etc ... in a way you’ve referenced an answer to this question already. With regards to the way that people listen to, and experience an album in a digital age - do you feel that somewhere in the evolution music, we’ve genuinley lost something?

BP : Each generation believes that their time is the best. The young discover sex and somehow think they are the first despite the biological contradictions inherent in having parents! It is common for the older generation to be nostalgic and trumpet “It was better in our day!”. So maybe if we accept that knowledge as a given we might still consider that some things may actually have been genuinely better even when not viewed through the rose coloured glasses of age. So, yes, the packaging was definitely an attempt to provide an interesting visual aide as with some of the album sleeves from the classic rock times.  There are the obvious examples among the “prog rock” fraternity. I designed a booklet with lyrics and photo montage illustrations, fully realising that most people today do not listen to music in the depth that we used to, much less sit reading the sleeve notes and illustrations. A 12 “ album sleeve was of course a better canvass to work on. I need glasses to read my booklet ! I hope the music stands up well alone. It is not in the Gothic / mock Classical style we might think of if we talk of “concept” albums, But I am fond of saying I have just released the last concept album - but hopefully it is not all too cerebral. I want the layers to be there if you look for them, but equally the listener can read the lyrics, comments and credits and just enjoy the pictures without seeking any explanation. In an age where everything is commodity music is not regarded as “art” by most people. It has to compete with video games, all kinds of apps and other entertainment options, so the sense of wonder has left the planet, and creative people are less revered. Folks mainly think that everything is digitally programmed! Few think about the writing I suspect. There is an interesting documentary on the late Tom Dowd, legendary producer of Coltrane, Aretha, Allman Brothers, Eric Clapton and many more. He could accept that times and methods change but lamented the fact that so little music today is performance driven. He talks about computers and plug ins from “Toys R Us” and the heavy use of samples etc. Understandably he maintained we have lost something. We have so many programmes and techniques used to recreate the sound and excitement generated in a time when the tracks were recorded live on analogue machines. It is supremely ironic.

I know I am being very “wordy” in my answer to this question. Simply put, I know that most download one song at a time and have little patience to sit and listen to an entire album created as a single piece of work. The concept is alien. Many cannot even listen to one song without looking at selfies on their cell phones, texting a friend.  Multi tasking is seldom spiritual. People are not in the moment, are seldom able to do one thing at a time. The attention span of people these days is ridiculously short. I have noticed some people are incapable of listening to one song through without talking, interjecting . It is disrespectful to the artiste, of course, but people do not intend this.  

I had a decision to make. In the face of some of negativity, people were saying “why produce a CD? Almost no one buys them” and “ Forget about doing a book. Who will read it? Put the information on your website if you wish. That way your true fans can access it-but otherwise forget it”  ... I did the book despite this and the label love it, thankfully.  I wanted to make some kind of statement. The album and booklet are there in one package should you wish to listen and experience the project as we used to. I doubt that I will do anything like this in future, although songs are already in the pipeline.

HR : Well I, and I am sure anyone reading this will also be interested in whatever you produce for us down the line ...  but for now - do you have any great words of wisdom to impart to your fellow travellers?

BP : I do not really do “words of wisdom”! I have learned a little and this is a process which continues, however - these lessons are for me hopefully informing the way I spend my time. I practiced Buddhism for some years and became a leader in the lay organisation. At some point I realised that this was the biggest joke of my life - and the joke was on me. I had nothing special to impart to anyone else! I learned more about Spirituality, if you will, from alcoholics and addicts in recovery who had reached a point of acceptance and purpose through suffering. Most do not want to pay the price of love. If there is a reason for our being here I believe it is to learn to love.  As we travel we understand “love” differently. It is quite hormonal when we are young. Later we might confuse sentimentality with love, or sympathy. There is no love without suffering, without sacrifice - but love is everything, I believe. Big topic. One for the book, perhaps. No words of wisdom for fellow travellers, then - I would merely say “Good luck” ...

[vintagemichelle91]

A Hard Lesson in Vanity: Chapter 4

Author’s Note: Time for another chapter! Just what could Natalia be up to? And how is the squad feeling with the new ADA?? Read on to find out! Thank you so much for the feedback as it means the world to @rauliskafan and I!!

           “Well look who’s here!”

           Fin was first to greet Natalia as she pushed the double stroller through the squad room. Errands to run and Holly wanting to stay in constant motion aside, a quick stop to make peace seemed like the very best of ideas. A small smile spread across Natalia’s lips as she surveyed the squad going over their latest case. And suddenly the twins were wide awake as everyone else dropped the search for justice to coo over the babies.

           “I hope we aren’t interrupting anything too important,” Natalia said when Carisi hugged Hazel and Fin gently took out Holly.

           Rollins gave her a knowing look. “Wanted to take the longer route hoping they would fall asleep?”

           “Your investigative skills never fail,” Natalia chuckled, and she pulled a small rose-colored blanket from the diaper bag and handed it to Carisi. “Here. Hazel likes being swaddled up like a burrito for some reason.”

           “Well what the little lady gets what she wants.”

           Carisi started to wrap her up and rubbed his nose to Hazel’s as Natalia glanced at Rollins.

           “And?” Rollins asked.

“And… maybe I was after a little exercise.”

           “Good idea,” Carisi mused as they swaddled Hazel. Both sets of hands came to a halt when their eyes locked, and Natalia cocked her head to one side.

           “Care to elaborate on that?” she playfully challenged.

“Uh… no, Natalia. You don’t need to… I mean you’re not… it’s just good that you’re… you know… taking care of yourself.” The blush on his cheeks matched the pink blanket, and Natalia had to laugh at the flustered detective.

           “It’s okay, Sonny,” she said. “I know your heart is always in the right place.”

           “Yeah… it’s everywhere nowadays,” Rollins scoffed, and she moved away from the group for a cup of coffee.

           “What was that?” Natalia asked.

           “She’s been on the sour side of things lately,” Carisi said, keeping Hazel close to his chest and peering over her little head while Rollins sipped from a chipped mug.

           “I wonder why,” Fin replied, rolling his eyes. “Might have something to do with our new ADA.”

           “Fin, for real?” Carisi scowled.

           “What? Just stating the obvious.”

           “Can we not to this? Again.”

           Natalia turned to see the sergeant, and she kissed Dodds’ cheek before he stared both men holding the babies down.

“Let’s all relax and just focus on the job,” he continued. “Leave the rest of it at the door.”

Fin pressed one hand into the air, and Carisi shrugged his shoulders as Natalia looked to her brother-in-law, the tension filling the room still evident out of the corner of her eye.

           “Copy that, Sarge,” Carisi replied while showing Hazel the shiny certificates adorning the nearest wall. “Still waiting on a few things from the lab, and we need to interview that agent.”

           “Fin and I can take that; you should just hang here for results.” Rollins retuned and practically ripped her coat from the back of a chair and flung it over her shoulder. With a sigh, Fin reluctantly placed Holly back in the stroller.

           “I’ll have to catch up with you later, kid,” he said. Before Carisi had a chance to protest, they were already headed out the door. He frowned, and Natalia felt her lips curl into a sympathetic if confused smile.

           “Why don’t you give the lab a call… hurry them along,” Dodds suggested as he patted Carisi’s back and extended his arms to take hold of Hazel.

           “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Carisi handed the baby and her blanket over to make the call.

           “This is how it’s been?” Natalia questioned while tending to Holly.

           “Come with me,” Dodds said, leading Natalia to the back room so they could sit in privacy. “That right there was on the tamer side… but ever since Eve Selby has become our go to… well…

           “Well what?” Natalia asked.

“Carisi’s kind of developed a crush on her,” Dodds said. “Suffice it to say Amanda is less than happy about it.”

Stunned by the news, Natalia’s first instinct was to track Carisi down and shake him hard for failing to realize what was right in front of him.

“I mean…” Dodds continued. “Amanda has sort of been sending him mixed signals these past few months. And it’s not like anything was ever official.”

“But---”

“You know I’m right, Natalia.”

At that she nodded sadly, and her heart felt heavy as Dodds offered her a water. Along with a Danish left over from breakfast.

“You know exactly how to make me feel better,” Natalia said.

“Maggie would have my head if she heard I didn’t get a smile back on your face.”

           “You’re in the clear,” Natalia promised, biting down on the fluffy pastry brimming with cheese and cherry. “But you look like you need something stronger.”

           “Tension’s been hard to handle,” Dodds admitted. “I’ve been trying to keep it all out of Liv’s line of sight.”

           “Is that even possible?” Natalia asked.

           “No small order,” Dodds said. “But this case needs all hands on deck. Last thing we need is someone out of commission for whatever reason.”

           “I’m sure they’ll make up,” Natalia insisted.

           ���I hope. At least we have a certain familiar face back. Rafael must be relieved.”

           “Oh yes,” Natalia said, making with a white lie. “And actually… I was actually hoping to speak to Ms. Selby.”

           “Why?” Dodds quickly asked, and Natalia let her treat fall to a paper plate.

           “Why not?” Natalia asked. “Is there a problem?”

           “No,” Dodds started. “Just… there’s something I can’t put my finger on.” He glanced over Natalia’s shoulder, and she took his hand.

           “Oh right,” she joked. “The scary Eve Selby. Think you best keep that thought to yourself.”

           “No,” Dodds promised, caressing Hazel’s plump, pink cheek. “I’ll keep it between me and Maggie.”

           “Do not set her head spinning either,” Natalia gently warned.

           “Don’t worry,” Dodds said. “I haven’t really said all that much to her. Just an inkling… you know?”

           Sadly, she did, recall a man with Rafael’s face, someone that she had given herself to without so much as a second thought… yes; Natalia knew where Dodds was coming from.

“Our instincts can be wrong, Mike.”

            “Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up any bad---”

           “Let’s not dwell on ghosts,” Natalia said, reaching for Holly who was starting to fuss. Dodds moved to help her, but their heads turned in unison at the sound of laughter echoing through the squad room as Liv and Eve Selby emerged from the lieutenant’s office.

           “She sure looks happy,” Natalia remarked.

           “Guess it’s a saving grace,” Dodds said. Standing slowly, the sergeant was at her side as she rolled the stroller forward to greet Liv with a friendly wave.

           “Natalia! So good to see you!” Liv exclaimed, her smile growing wider when she saw the twins, and she knelt to tickle their tiny tummies.

           “Just stopping by to say hello.” Natalia said. “And it’s very nice to see you too, Ms. Selby.”

           The other woman shook her hand as a charming smile spread across her crimson lips. “Please… call me Eve.”

           For a second Natalia wondered what Rafael called her behind closed doors, but she let the thought fall away.

           “Since we’re dropping the formalities, call me Natalia. After all, we’re family here.”

           “Always,” Dodds promised before ducking into a corner with Liv to update her on the case.

           “So sweet,” Eve said. “Really everyone had made me feel so welcome. Well… almost everyone.”

           “Rollins?” Natalia asked.

           “Bingo. Look at you hitting it out of the park right off the bat.”

           “She’ll come around,” Natalia reasoned sympathetically. “For now, I was wondering if you’d like to join me and Rafael for dinner tomorrow night.”

           Eve nibbled her lip for a split second before laughing lightly.

           “Oh, that sounds like such a marvelous idea!”  Eve said sincerely as she placed her hand over her heart. “Thank you, Natalia. I can’t wait.”

           “Same here,” Natalia said as Liv and Dodds returned from their impromptu conference.

           “Dinner date?” Liv said.

           “Why don’t you join us?” Eve suggested, and Natalia was quick to nod, wanting to have made the offer first but holding her tongue.

           “Sorry,” Liv started. “Someone’s taking me and Noah to a concert in the park.” The lieutenant laughed, and Dodds just touched her shoulder.

           “Your little man likes his phone,” the sergeant said. “Sent his big brother a text all about it.”

           Liv audibly sighed, and Natalia smiled when she saw the excited text message pouring through Dodds’ screen. For her part, Eve Selby stayed still for a second, but soon she shared in the admiration before looking to her watch.

           “I have to get to court,” Eve said. “Natalia, I---”

           “I’ll text you and---”

           “No worries! I’ll get all the info from Rafael!”  

           Natalia forced a smile as Carisi returned and Eve shot him a wink, the confidence never leaving her step.

           “Hey.”

           Dodds took her arm and the stroller to ease Natalia to the other side of the room.

           “What is it?” she asked.

           “Think it might be best if Maggie and I came to dinner, too” he said.

           “Mike, you don’t have to.”

           “Call it an excuse to get away from Maggie’s desserts.”

           “Oh?” Natalia narrowed her eyes, and Dodds begged her to keep quiet when she hugged him.

           “Of course you can come,” Natalia said. “The more the merrier.”

           “Let’s hope you can still say that once the night is out.”

[theseourbodiesrp]

Permanent Starter Call for SVU Muses

Like this post to give me permission to throw random starters at you, tag you in things, and come randomly plot with you for one or more of the following muses:

Detective Amanda Rollins

Detective Nick Amaro

ADA Rafael Barba

Detective Dominic “Sonny” Carisi

Sergeant Mike Dodds

If you want a specific muse, let me know via messages or reply here. 

[o177-blog]

MUN STUFF.   /   remember to repost, not reblog.

NAME: keelin GENDER: ???!!??? idk man??? EYE COLOR: green-grey HAIR COLOR: blue (naturally brown) RELATIONSHIP STATUS: taken ZODIAC: scorpio FAVORITE COLOR: blue FAVORITE SEASON: winter FAVORITE PLACE: big whiteshell lake FAVORITE VIDEO GAME: dragon age: inquisition LAST SHOW YOU WATCHED: law & order: svu WHAT’S YOUR HONEST OPINION ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: MIKE DODDS DESERVED X10 BETTER THAN CANON AND X20 BETTER THAN WHAT I DO TO HIM. #LETMIKEBEHAPPY WOULD YOU DATE YOUR MUSE?: if I weren’t gay, maybe WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINDS OF THREADS?: I cherish every thread I have ARE YOU A SELECTIVE ROLEPLAYER?: yup DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE MUSE?: it’s either mike or my oc, fin WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO JOIN THE FANDOM?: @miisterbarba got me into svu because barba MONTHS ago, but its only been in the last month that I’ve been debating writing mike because I lost muse for my oc. DO YOU SEE YOURSELF STAYING WITH THE FANDOM FOR A LONG TIME?: god I hope

tagged by: @o188 and @raiinonme tagging: @miisterbarba @yxtes @strawpolls @bardolctry listen I don’t follow enough people for this

[svu-stories]

.79

For: Anon Characters: Olivia Benson, Deputy Chief Dodds, Rafael Barba (and a guest appearance by Carisi) Warnings: None Word Count: 2,344

If it wasn’t an outright disabling of her authority, Chief Dodds never let Olivia forget her incompetence with snide remarks and subtle jabs at past failures. She would always know that Mike’s death was at her hands. Not only did she leave him alone, but she should have known to search for a drop gun when they went into Munson’s house.

Just a single thought of the day still made her stomach drop and heart jump into her throat. Single memories led to flashbacks, labored breathing, and the all too prevalent feeling of her arms wrapping around her superior as news of his son’s death invaded the world of hope William Dodds had been building around them the entire tragic day almost one year ago.

It had been one of the worst days of her career, and there was little she could do to move on from it.

Not with Dodds watching her every move.

Not with him reminding her of every misstep, every moment of risk.

When he’d requested a meeting with her, she felt the familiar drop in the pit of her stomach as she started to question what it could be about. There were a million possibilities, none of which sounded appealing to her. From the serial rapist they’d yet to catch that had been sitting on the corner of her desk for six days to why she’d chosen to wear contacts instead of glasses in the last week. She never knew anymore.

The one thing she could be certain of: Chief Dodds wouldn’t be happy.

Olivia stared down the computer screen before her, fingers barely resting on the keyboard of the laptop. She wanted to write, to fill out reports, to answer the emails that were building up in her inbox, but her hands wouldn’t move.

Maybe Dodds was right. Maybe she wasn’t fit for command. She had always said that being a detective was enough – being hands on, helping the victims, collaring the perps. Until Cragen’s vote of confidence and encouragement, Olivia Benson hadn’t wanted to move up the ranks. Maybe Dodds was right.

Lost in her own thoughts, Olivia jumped when a firm knock resounded on the door. She glanced up, regaining her composure quickly, and waving in Chief Dodds, she rose from her desk, hand extended in greeting.

“Sir,” she said with a curt nod. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Lieutenant, is there a reason that you are staring at a blank email reply? I don’t pay you to daydream,” he reprimanded firmly, accepting the handshake before commandeering the empty chair across from her desk.

Olivia’s head sunk instantly as she returned to her chair, shutting the top of the laptop smoothly and taking a deep breath. Within moments, she began to explain herself, barely starting a sentence before being cut off.

It was almost as though someone had started slowly letting the air out of a balloon. Olivia shrunk into herself, desperately wanting to disappear as a tirade of missteps, unfortunate events, and errors in command were recounted for her to reflect upon. Never before had retirement felt like such a good idea.

---

“I wouldn’t go in there,” Carisi warned, jumping up from his desk and strolling through the squadroom easily.

Barba paused, frowning as he turned to look at his mentee with a confused gaze. Normally, he would disguise his desire to talk to Olivia as work – something with a case, a question about a witness, a hair-brained idea that might actually win them a case that had been previously impossible to crack. Today, though, he just wanted to bring by coffee and ask for their usual sidebar.

“Carisi, I can go wherever I want,” Barba chided, turning back to reach for the door knob.

“Dodds is in there,” the eager detective continued, voice low and laced with apprehension. “You don’t interrupt the Lieu and Chief Dodds. And it could be a while.”

Barba let out a low sigh before glancing at the door. The blinds were drawn and the voices were murmured, mostly the deeper voice of Dodds ringing through with the occasional hiccupped phrase from Benson. Nodding in his agreement, he turned away from the office and perched himself against Carisi’s desk.

Sonny watched him with wide eyes before making his way back over, instantly using his skills of small talk and legal knowledge to engage Barba in conversation for several minutes. He didn’t fail to notice, however, that Barba’s attention wavered between their political debate and Benson’s office door.

It took everything in the Staten Island Native to not be disappointed when Barba leapt from the desk he’d taken a seat on as Benson’s door opened. Briefcase in hand, he quickly stepped toward the newly opened office. Dodds walked out, face firm and stoic, but Olivia didn’t follow. Instead, her door slammed shut almost as quickly as it had opened.

“She probably needs some time,” Carisi reasoned. “Usually does after Chief’s been in.”

“What do you mean?” Barba asked, eyes still trained expertly on the blinds as though he was trying to see beyond them.

Carisi shrugged, “Lieu’s always in a bad mood after talking to him. We’ve all learned to just give her some space and keep our heads down on days that he shows up.”

“It hasn’t always been that way.”

“No,” Carisi agreed. “He was never her favorite person, but it’s gotten worse since…”

Barba turned as the sentence trailed off, green eyes darkening as Carisi awkwardly looked toward his desk. He sighed, “Since Dodds was killed.”

“Yeah.”

Barba sucked his lower lip in, swallowing hard. Something didn’t sit well with him, and he started to debate his next move. A slammed door generally meant taking your own life into your hands by knocking, but he couldn’t leave his best friend alone. Knowing how Dodds had treated her in the aftermath of his son’s death, and with rumors flying that he hadn’t managed to cope well since either, he couldn’t just sit back and wonder.

Besides, it probably wasn’t as bad as Carisi was making it out to be. The young detective had always been a bit over-enthusiastic.

Gliding toward the office door, he knocked twice before reaching for the door knob. It wiggled beneath his fingers, but didn’t turn.

“I told you-” Sonny started.

Barba cut him off, knocking again before speaking loudly, “Lieutenant Benson, I need to speak with you.”

He waited with baited breath, realizing she wasn’t going to answer that quickly. Barba sighed, shaking the doorknob again, “Liv, c’mon, it’s me. Open the damn door.”

The sounds of her footsteps approaching the door caused him to step back slightly. He watched as the doorknob turned and she cracked the door open, stepping away to collapse behind her desk again as Barba let himself in, gently closing it behind him, “Aren’t we just a ray of sunshine?”

“What do you need, Barba?” Olivia snapped harshly, turning her attention to her email. She quickly began typing, not looking up as she swallowed hard and blinked back a few tears.

Rafael sighed, dropping himself into the chair Dodds had previously occupied, “I was going to ask if you wanted to make a coffee run?”

“No time,” she answered complacently. “Do you need something from me or the squad? Otherwise, you can see yourself out.”

Arms crossed over his chest, Barba shook his head, leaning back in the chair, “Would you just look at me?”

Olivia continued typing, though he could tell she was quickly losing focus. The rhythmic tapping of the keys slowed as she felt the weight of the afternoon wearing on her, chin falling to her chest before she turned in her chair, finally letting their eyes meet. “Okay,” she murmured. “I’m looking.”

Barba’s lips forced the tiniest of grins as he swallowed hard, “Are you okay?”

“Aside from the fact that I’m on probation for Dodds and my professional life has been falling apart this year? Yeah, I’m just peachy.”

“Probation? For what?”

“I have too many open cases with the squad, I can’t prove that I’ve been using my time effectively, and I regularly allow my subordinates to enter into unnecessary dangerous situations, apparently,” Olivia sighed. “Oh, and I let Chief Dodds’ son die on my watch.”

Barba watched her carefully, noticing how each negative caused her to shrink a little further into her chair, trying to hide from the prying eyes of the outside world. Before he could answer her, though, Olivia started rambling again.

“And, you know, maybe he’s right? I do worry about home more now that I have Noah, and sometimes I do spend more time chatting with you or Fin than working. I’m not the commander Cragen expected me to be. Maybe Tucker was right,” she mused. “Maybe retirement is the logical net step.”

“Stop that,” Barba insisted.

Olivia rolled her eyes, “What? Trying to make life make sense? Trying to keep people safe? Trying to pretend that I’m not responsible for Mike’s death?”

“We’ve gone over this. You’re not.”

“Then who is?”

“Munson,” Barba hissed. “And only Munson. You have too many people counting on you, Liv. A squad that needs you. You’re the glue. You’re the one who keeps them on the right path, and you’ve got scared victims who will need you there every step of the way. Hell, I need you here. I don’t know that I’d want to do this job without you riding my ass.”

“Don’t,” Olivia countered, her head shaking slightly. “Don’t try to convince me that I can do this.”

“You can,” Barba continued, ignoring her pleas. He shifted his weight, leaning forward in the chair with his elbows resting on his knees. “I can’t tell you the number of times you’ve saved my case. I don’t want to work with anyone else. Your squad doesn’t want anyone else. Dodds is still grieving. He never dealt with it properly.”

“But it’s on me.”

“He needs someone to blame and you’re the scapegoat. But you don’t deserve probation, and I’m going to take care of that.”

Olivia’s eyes snapped up as Barba stood, reaching for his briefcase. Her hands gripped the armrests of her chair tightly, knuckles turning white, “You can’t. Please let me handle this.”

Barba sighed, turning back to face her, “You’ve got people on your side, Liv. When are you going to realize that?”

Olivia swallowed hard, pursing her lips before nodding slowly in resignation. Her unspoken gratitude hung in the air for several minutes before he left her office, phone already in his hands to call in a favor or two. He ignored Carisi’s sendoff, causing the detective to frown before Amanda could distract him with a trip to visit an eyewitness on the latest case.

Watching her squad set to work, she forced herself to remember Barba’s words.

You’ve got people on your side.

---

It took everything in her to leave her office and return home to her son, but Olivia Benson managed to clock out before six o’clock in the evening. Noah was curled up on her lap, reading his favorite picture book together.

Olivia ran a hand over his hair before reaching forward to pick up her buzzing cell phone. She let out a low breath as she recognized the number. She swallowed hard, addressing the Chief of Police easily, “Benson.”

Noah reached for her phone and giggled as she pushed his hand away. She carefully slid her son to the couch before standing up, walking across the room. She needed to breathe, to focus. If Dodds had his way, this was the end. This was the offer to put in for retirement and bow out gracefully, no one having to know that the only other option was being forced out.

And part of her still believed she deserved it.

“Lieutenant, I hear you had a bit of an issue today. Probation?”

“Sir, I’d be more than willing to come into your office tomorrow to discuss the consequences.”

“Jumping ahead of ourselves, don’t you think?” He asked, a gentle chuckle following his words. Olivia leaned against her dining room table, eyes trained on Noah as he retrieved the cup of juice from the table and popped the straw into his little mouth. “I am aware that you’ve been having a rough year. I was looking through your jacket-“

“I can explain,” she began.

“Let me finish,” he offered gracefully. “I’ve had a conversation with Deputy Chief Dodds. He and I are going to sit down, but I believe some of the accusations being made against you are somewhat biased, which is understandable given the year he has had, but completely unprofessional as well. I will be in touch with you, but you can assume your personnel file will be cleaned up considerably.”

“How did you find out about this?”

“You have people who very much want you doing your job, Benson. I happen to be one of them, but others in high places are looking out for you and your squad’s well-being.”

“Thank you, sir,” she murmured, offering a quiet farewell and hanging up the phone.

She paused for a second, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, before fashioning a text message beneath her finger tips.

You went to the Chief of Police?

Her eyes closed as the iPhone buzzed beneath her fingertips, Barba’s name flashing on the screen.

I told you. You’ve got people on your side.

Olivia scoffed, shaking her head.

Thank you.

She made her way over to the couch, scooping Noah into her arms with a lightness in her chest that hadn’t existed fifteen minutes before.

Her phone buzzed again and she glanced at the newest message, knowing she would be forever grateful for the friend who would always have her back.

Coffee. Before court tomorrow. Sleep well.

She hammered out a quick You, too, before breathing a sigh of relief. Allowing herself to have people was one of the best things to happen to Olivia, and nothing could ever take that away.