#murray hewitt/reader

[izzy-b-hands]

Murray/OC transmasc character because. I don't have an excuse lmaooo, i haven't written Reader-adjacent/OC kinda fics in a bit for any fandom, but I've just got a Need To Write Anything rn and this idea won't leave me so

Here we be.

NSFW as well because i wasn't gonna finally take this idea on and not have Murray get some lol.

---

"So, do you think you could manage them too?"

Murray looks to the man sitting on an overturned empty metal rubbish bin by Bret.

Pretty, especially the eyes. Almost grey, but a hint of a pale blue in there as well. Thick dark hair pulled back in a high ponytail that had been braided. He wondered if there was anyone that braided that for them, or if they did it themselves-

"Murray," Jemaine snaps his fingers in front of his face. "Yes or no? Because if it's a no, then Lux needs to get back to ours and get back to work."

Murray frowns. "What? You said Lux is a musician. That makes it sound like they're your house cleaner! No offense meant if that is the case, of course."

"We don't need a house cleaner," Bret says.

"We also don't have a house," Jemaine notes.

"An apartment could still have a house cleaner come by," Lux adds.

"Oh, yeah," Bret nods. "Would you wanna do that for us?"

"Are you paying me?"

Jemaine and Bret look away.

Lux hesitates. "Could I come use your bathroom while I'm busking if I offer to help clean?"

"Yeah, why not?" Jemaine replies. "We aren't that bad though."

Bret gives Murray a knowing look. It could be cleaner. They all know that.

"That matter is settled then," Murray declares. "Just going to add that to the band meeting agenda quickly...there we are!"

"I don't need much help," Lux says. "Someone to help me arrange gigs, mostly. I have a habit of losing or forgetting details about them, or I get busy and don't call back to confirm I'll be there and...yeah."

Lux rubs the back of their neck awkwardly. It's fucking adorable.

Internally, Murray scolds himself. Things have only been properly done with Shelley for a year, and he's not the type for a rebound. He ought to give it another six months to a year at least.

"I can do that," Murray says. "Let's get you a file."

He pulls a manila folder from his desk and an extra legal pad. "Okay. Name?"

"Lux," Lux replies.

"Lux what?"

"Just that," Jemaine says. "Like Prince."

"Or Cher," Bret adds. "Oh, or Kermit!"

"...The Frog?" Murray hesitates. "But he does have a last name: The Frog."

"No," Bret scoffs. "That's like a title. We don't call Lux 'Lux The Human.'"

"We can discuss that in more detail later," Murray sighs. Truthfully, he really just wants to hear Lux talk. Their voice pitches a certain deep note now and again, and it makes his heart pound.

"I play the theremin," Lux says. "But I have some knowledge of wind instruments and strings as well, if you think that would be good to add on."

"But you're only a one person act," Jemaine frowns. "How-"

"Viol strapped to a table by your theremin," Bret suggests. "One hand can use the bow, the other the theremin? I mean it won't sound great-"

"That would sound terrible," Murray wrinkles his nose. "Let's stick with the theremin alone for now."

Lux smiles.

Oh, that's dangerous. He wants to make them smile again.

"Any gimmicks or themes you stick to?" he asks.

Lux ponders it. "Grungy goth? Like, I'm dressed like this-"

Lux stands to show off tight black skinny jeans with a decently large hole ripped in one thigh. It shows off the edge of a tattoo, with no way to tell how big the full piece is.

Over that is a long-sleeved black tunic, and over that a grey knit cardigan.

On their feet, a pair of black leather platforms, and a final pop of color on their ears in the form of red broken heart earrings.

"I see," Murray tries to say it normally, but he can feel Bret's eyes on him.

"Now, part of it is I can't afford new shit right now, but it works," Lux continues. "And the goth bit too is like, all my music is creepy funerary."

"How does busking go with that genre?" Murray asks.

"About as well as you'd expect," Lux giggles. "That's why I need you."

He's got to be imagining the look Lux gives him. They hold his gaze for an extra moment; their hand flies to cover what looks like another smile.

He can't concentrate. Who could?

"So-"

"Guys, maybe you and Murray should finish up your band meeting, and then Murray and I can have our own after?" Lux suggests. "You can still give him all the ideas you have for me, and that way we can discuss them without taking time away from Flight of the Conchords stuff."

"Alright," Jemaine nods. "Where are you-"

"Murray, did you eat lunch?" Lux interrupts.

"Had planned to, but a dog stole my lunch bag again," Murray replies. "He dropped it, but he looked so hungry and he'd already had it in his mouth, so when he grabbed it again..."

"Oh Murray," Bret frowns.

"Like a paper lunch bag or an insulated one?" Jemaine asks.

"Insulated, but I can buy a new one," Murray waves away the question.

"That's lovely," Lux says. "I bet you made that dog's day."

He can feel himself blushing, and Jemaine and Bret staring him down again.

"Well, I didn't have lunch either," Lux continues. "So write down what you want on a sticky note there, and I'll go out and get it. By the time I'm back, it'll probably be time for our meeting."

He jots down a generic fast food order, not really all that concerned with eating for now.

As he hands it to Lux, there's the brush of fingertips. He wonders how lovely Lux's hands look at work with the theremin.

The thought makes him entirely too warm for a band meeting.

"I'll see you in a bit," Lux smiles and leaves with a wave, sticky note in hand.

"Murray," Bret says as the office door closes. "I know what you're thinking."

"That you guys should get some emergency fund money to go buy yourselves each a new cup?"

"No," Bret replies. "Wait, but can we actually? We broke both our cups last week."

"Been using our one bowl and straws for tea," Jemaine adds. "It really burns."

"Not great for the singing voice," Bret says. "Like the opposite of what tea should do for it."

Murray frowns. "That's no good. Here."

He pulls a fifty dollar bill from the envelope of money in his desk drawer. It holds what little savings he has left.

"Go on, and go buy some new cups. A new bowl too!"

"Are you sure?" Jemaine asks as he takes the bill. "Are we done with the band meeting already? Because we didn't really discuss anything about us yet."

"Or about how you definitely want to get with Lux," Bret says.

"Yeah, that too," Jemaine nods.

"Look, I'm not going to be improper," Murray sighs. "I just want to see if there's a connec-"

"No, we know," Bret interrupts. "Earlier, I was trying to say I'm sure you thought Lux was coming on too strongly. We did tell them to be chill-"

"More than once," Jemaine interjects.

"But...I don't know," Bret chuckles. "The more we told them about you, the more dreamy-eyed they got."

"Like how Bret looks at pictures of David Bowie," Jemaine explains.

"Like how we all look at pictures of David Bowie," Bret scoffs. "Don't deny it."

"He's right," Murray nods. "So... they're into me? Like for real?"

Jemaine and Bret nod.

"I think we should go buy some cups," Bret smiles. "And let Murray prepare for Lux's onboarding band meeting."

They leave discussing what kinds of cups they want, and if they might even have enough for some plates, and normally Murray would feel sad at their leaving.

But today, he's happy to watch them go.

--

"Here we are," Lux sets the bag of fast food on his desk. "How did it go with the boys?"

"Fine," Murray replies. "Went over the usual things. You know."

"Like what?"

Neither of them have made a move for the food, and he has a feeling it might be cold by the time they get to it.

He's very much alright with that.

"What sort of gigs they want," Murray says. "If they have new merch ideas."

"Ooh, speaking of," Lux says. "I had kind of a weird idea for merch for me."

"Oh?"

"So, when I'm bored I sit and redesign the logo I made for myself. Still the same general idea, but different colours, patterns," Lux continues. "It's a simple one, but I thought maybe patches or stickers, or, if we partner with a tattoo shop, I could sell them as tattoo designs."

Before he can speak, Lux stands from Jemaine's chair.

"I can show you the logo, if you want."

Murray nods. "Let's see it."

Lux blushes and lifts their shirt to show off a simple, yet flashy design of their name in black and red.

The tattoo sits just at the bottom of Lux's ribcage, and while there's nothing inherently sexual about the location, the flash of skin is about to do him in.

"Like what you see?"

Murray nods, then shakes his head. "Wait, no, I do like the design and the ideas! I didn't want..it came off like-"

"I know," Lux interrupts softly. "And I was asking both ways."

He hasn't felt like this since his first years with Shelley, and only now does he realize how much he's missed it.

"I know with any big record company or music agency this would be something frowned upon," Lux says. "But you already manage a band and have your consulate job. So I trust you with that mix of priorities."

Murray nods. "Um. Does that mean. Well, it must mean, no, must is presumptuous-"

"I'm waiting for you to kiss me," Lux says, and steps behind his desk.

He's certain he's going to fumble some part of this. And if it ends things right here, then so be it. He's not going to let that hold him back.

He stands and pulls Lux into a kiss. His hands toy with the edge of their tunic, but he goes no further until Lux nods and tosses the tunic off and aside.

"You're still serious about this, right?" Murray asks.

"I am," Lux replies, and leans up to kiss his neck.

"Such a mean manager," they joke in between kisses. "Making me wait so long."

"For what?" Murray asks, just before the lightbulb goes off. "Oh! Oh, well, I don't want to be too mean-"

Lux's hand rests on his belt buckle, a nonverbal question.

"Yes, please," Murray says, trying to sound like he isn't begging. But he can admit he is, a little bit. So much for not being desperate for a rebound.

The rest of their clothes come off in short order, dropped to the floor around his desk.

Lux sits on his desk. "I hope you know I'm not just trying to get in your pants for my music. And Bret told me to think realistically but..."

They hesitate. "If you'd maybe want to see if this could be more than a one night thing... I'd like that. If you would too, and if not that's perfectly fine of course-"

"I'd like that," Murray interrupts as gently as he can. "Maybe after this, we could take the food back to mine and heat it up? Have a movie night together."

Lux beams and nods, and he feels like he just won a fucking Grammy.

"Oh," Lux says as he drops to his knees in front of their spread legs. "You don't have to if you don't want to. Not everyone-"

"What, wants to go down on you?" Murray asks. "Why wouldn't they?"

Lux shrugs. "I've only been with a few guys that were into it with me."

"Well, their loss," Murray says, and wraps his arms around Lux's thighs to keep them in place.

He focuses solely on doing everything he can to make their legs shake. Sucking and licking at their cock, tongue lapping at their folds, and his nose pressing against their skin.

He knows the office is empty by now. Bret and Jemaine had asked to come in later, and honestly that worked better. For band meetings, but especially for this.

"Sorry," Lux murmurs after a loud whine. "I'll cover my mouth."

"Don't you dare," Murray says, surprised at himself. He likes it though. "I want to hear you."

Lux is still fairly quiet, but the panting and gentle moans he earns are perfect.

"Might want to pull away when I-" Lux pauses to grind down against Murray's face. "Yeah, you know. Fuck me."

"I'm getting there," Murray lifts his head and peppers kisses over the inside of Lux's thighs. "Come for me this way first."

"Why on earth did your wife leave you?" Lux asks.

"Because sex isn't everything, and I make poor financial decisions," Murray sighs. "Per my ex, that is. She's not wrong."

"Well, that's not a deal-breaker for me," Lux says. "Who doesn't make a poor financial choice now and then?"

Murray presses a longer kiss to Lux's right thigh, then kisses his way back to where he's most wanted.

It takes a moment more, then Lux's thighs clench hard around him.

He laughs when he's free from their grasp. "I understand what you meant about moving now. Didn't mind that at all though."

"Mhm," Lux mumbles blissfully.

"If you do want a break, or to st-"

"Murray," Lux says, eyes fluttering back open. "If you make me wait all that will happen is I'll end up wanting to fuck you in your car."

"You really want me that badly?" Murray asks as he stands. Everything thus far has shown it, but it's unfamiliar enough for him to worry he ought not take it for granted.

Lux nods. "Please."

"Um. I don't know how to ask this delicately," Murray hesitates. "I'm clean and snipped, but I think Jemaine left condoms here because he didn't want Bret stealing them for himself."

"Has he ever come back for them?"

"Ah, no," Murray shakes his head. "I think he forgot about them, but they're not expired and-"

"I'm on birth control, and I'm clean," Lux interrupts, pulling him close, legs wrapped around his waist.

That's more than enough impetus to slip himself inside of them.

His office door creaks open, and they both crick their necks to see what the fuck is happening.

"Murray, we got the cups, but could we steal some tea from the offi-" Bret looks up from the new cup in his hand. "Oh."

"Hi" Lux says. "You guys need tea?"

Bret nods. "I should have kno-"

"Did he say we could take the teabags or not," Jemaine interrupts, pushing past Bret into the office. "Oh."

"Oh my god," Murray drops his face into Lux's shoulder. "Yes. Just take them and go."

"You guys should have locked the door," Jemaine says. "I would, if I had an office to fuck in."

"Yeah, but I could have knocked," Bret adds. "Even if they weren't fucking, they would have been in the middle of a band meeting."

"Ah yeah, sorry," Jemaine winces. "We'll just collect the tea and g-"

"Please leave," Murray says desperately.

They trip over each other as they go, thankfully shutting the door behind them.

"I understand if you want to just go," Murray says as he lets himself slip out of Lux and step back. "I'm so sorry."

Lux sits up. "Why would I do that?"

"Mood's ruined a bit, I think."

"So what?" Lux shrugs. "Let's get dressed, take the food back to yours, and continue there."

He blinks. "Seriously?"

Lux nods and hops off the desk. "We were going to do that anyway, and we can get up to more in a bed than on a desk anyway."

Murray can't hold back a grin. "Okay! Yeah, let's... alright!"

"You're cute," Lux giggles, and brings him his shirt with a kiss.

They finish up and grab the food, locking Murray's office door and the main consulate door after them.

Lux holds his hand on the way out, and he decides he'll happily manage them for sure.

And if they want some dates arranged with him in between gigs, well, he'll happily do that too.

--

"I think they left," Jemaine peeks out from the dark break room/kitchen. "Shit."

Bret peers out beside him. "Oh. Well, if we leave we can't lock it."

"No, we can't."

They stare at the door together for a moment, as if Murray and Lux might burst back in.

"Should we eat those leftover donuts and sleep under the table until tomorrow?" Bret asks. "Don't want Murray to get in trouble if the door is unlocked."

"You just want the donuts."

"It can be both!"

Jemaine nods. "Might as well steal the rest of the tea too."

"Might as well."

[bowieandqueen11]

Dating Jemaine (FOTC) Would Include...

Thank you everyone who flooded my ask box for FOTC imagines I love it also this gif PHEW I keep re-watching Sugalumps on loop. Also I’m sorry this is so short, I need to get used to writing for this show!

If you enjoy, please let me know by commenting! <3

(I do not own Flight of the Conchords or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @flipyeahjemaineandbret.)

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°

You first met Jemaine at one of his concerts, down in the basement of a dingy bar in the suburbs of New York city. Standing awkwardly next to a strange woman who seems to be the only person there, flailing her arms around and almost hitting a bemused man in a lime green suit bopping silently on the spot next to her, you kept on catching Jemaine’s eye. Mel nearly thwacks you in the face as well, but when she finally realises that it’s Jemaine’s cheeks that are turning a tinted peach and not Bret’s, she backs off a tad. After the show ends to a round of stilted applause, he hands his bass to Bret and jumps down off the stage. Sliding over to the bar next to you, he can barely meet your eye this time as he offers to buy you a sparkling water.

After a couple of hours of sitting on the bar stools next to each other and talking about the weather, his band, your favourite brand of cereal and whether you like to make blanket forts, Jemaine fumbles to a stand and asks if you’ll walk him back to his apartment. Even though the sheets of rain are absolutely drenching the two of you as you wander out, the two of you kick happily through the diamond crusted puddles as he tries to keep pace next to you. In the end, he finally builds up the courage to shrug off his leather jacket and hold it over your head and shelter you from the downpour - his glasses become fogged up with how much he’s being pelted, but the casual, calm, warm smile that seems to light up his face like rising rays of sunlight melt your heart and let’s you know its okay to snuggle up next to him.

Then he kind of just... hangs around the same bar every afternoon for a couple of weeks in the hope of bumping into you again. When he finally passes you on the sidewalk in a chance encounter he passes down to fate, he stumbles so nervously on every syllable as he asks you ‘would you maybe want to go catch a movie with me in town or something.’ And everything sort of just takes off from there.

When he tells Murray that he has a girlfriend during the next band meeting, he 100% thinks he’s having him on. It’s only when he knocks on the apartment door a month later, head dipped and misty eyed because his wife has left him again, that he finally stops shaking his head every time Jemaine mentions his S/O when you answer the door and invite him in with a massive hug.

After that he pretty much becomes your number one fan, and makes it his first point of call to ask in meetings how you’re doing and if Jemaine is remembering to look after you.

Every morning is spent sitting around Bret and Jemaine’s circular, rocky dining table. Two bowls of cereal sitting in front of you, Jemaine switches between holding your hand, fingers intertwined between his on the table top, and using said hand to feed you cereal with a soft smirk.

Look I’m getting really emotional he’s just FINALLY so over the moon and overjoyed that he’s finally found someone who appreciates a good bowl of cereal as much as he does. He knows that he’s quite a stoic person - someone who doesn’t easily present his emotions to others, but he wants more than anything to show how devoted he is to this, to you. So he feeds you cereal, and he hopes that between this action you can read how much he’s saying he trusts you - he loves, loves, loves you.

He’s quite ticklish, so he always feels like his day is off to a fresh, good start when you turn over from your sleep to find Jemaine’s nose bumping against your cheek. He’s still fast asleep, mouth open wide and forehead furrowed in intense crinkles when you reach down and tickle his sides, but this serenity is quickly replaced with another, more intense kind when he laughs against your mouth. It’s his favourite time of the day - 1) he gets to spend all night cuddled up against your side like a ‘koala backpack’ as he likes to call it, and 2) he can wake up to joy and glee every day with one of the most important people in the world to him.

I mean, of course you now try to go to every concert you can as well!! Even during the library gigs, it’s usually now Mel sitting up near the front while you and Murray walk in and grab a table to yourselves. You share biscuits, Murray grinning brightly the whole time at the crowd numbers going up by a third, while you just blow kisses and chuckle up at Jermaine, trying to make him smile while he plucks away.

He ends with a little surprise, Bret’s shocked expression alerting you to the fact that even he was unaware of its happening. He finishes off by performing a sixteen minute songs he’s spent all night sitting up in bed writing - just a long list of all the things he loves about you, and all the fuzzy, ‘butterfly exploding in your tummy’ kind of feelings that you’ve given him for the first time in his life. When it’s over, and you run over to the stage to meet him, you’re both too overwhelmed to say anything so he just automatically (and slightly mechanically) leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek. When he finally stops hovering near your face and stands back up again, he has a smile so bright on his face that disco lights seem to be shining out in a multitude of fragmented rainbows through his glasses’ lens, all thanks to you.

Even though he has basically absolutely no money, he does like to try and treat you from time to time (on Dave’s orders. Thanks Dave, you’re a legend.) Usually this comes as him taking you out on a Saturday night for a kebab, where he spends the whole time letting you eat most of his share and staring intently and quite earnestly on the other side of the booth. He has the most chilled look on his face, his eyes never leaving yours as he seems to hang onto every word you say as if you were explaining the laws of the universe to him.

You usually have to come up behind him each morning and slip his glasses back onto the dip of his nose, because he left them behind on the edge of the sink again. He always thanks you by grabbing your wrist and pressing a kiss against the back of your hand with a shy ‘thank you’.

Getting to be co-director with Murray and help direct some of their music videos!! The funniest set to help on was ‘Robots’, though, mainly because every time you would stroll up to help straighten your boyfriend’s helmet between takes, he uses it as an excuse to reach out and chase you with kisses. He nearly destroys his whole costume, since he spends most of the time reaching out with his lips through the head and tripping over quite a number of trash cans as he chases your giggling form down the alleyways. 

It takes Bret quite a while to get used to your presence, but once he does, you become like another family member to him. Often times Jemaine has come home from the markets to find Bret flopped down on the sofa, head resting on your knees as he animatedly counts on his fingers all the reasons why ginger nuts are his favourite biscuits.

You steal his clothes quite a lot - especially that favourite denim jacket of his, laughing at how shocked but slightly turned on he looks when you wear them out to dinner with him. They just smell of pine, soap, cereal crumbs and spiced apple, that they’re wonderful to wrap around yourself while Jemaine wraps his own arms around your waist. 

Please, please teach this man how to use chopsticks. It may take a few goes, and a lot of you shuffling your chair next to his and leaning over to guide his fingers within your own, but he listens and learns from you so intently that he will master it after a while. (He may pretend to drop his dumplings from time to time, though, just because he’s too nervous to admit that he enjoys the feeling of you pressed against his back and your arms comforting him as they lean around his chest. Man is a secret massive little spoon I don’t make the rules.)

Sometimes Bret will start groaning in the early morning, that period when the streets are just starting to bustle with an electric hum and the internet cafe’s are beginning to light the pavement cracks with their neon lights once again. He throws his pillow out at the two of you, because you keep waking him up with how loudly you’re giggling while you play leg footsie in bed. The rest of the morning, when Bret finally leaves to go hang out and bake a cake with Dave, the two of you feel safe and comfortable enough with each other to just move over to the couch. You sit on his lap, tucked under his chin, and the two of you just have another sleep for an hour or two.

One time you complimented his casserole, and my man rode on that compliment all day as if he was flying above the clouds on bird’s wings.

But other times, as soon as you walk in the door Jemaine will just crumple like an origami doll into your chest and grip, crying onto your shoulder as you rub the broad expanse of his back because Bret had said something mean to him. 

You come to the band meetings quite a lot, often just to share around the sandwiches you’ve made for them all and to share an inside joke or two with Murray, much to Jemaine’s dismay. Even he comments, when he meets up with Jemaine and Bret later for an evening walk down by the waterside, that Jemaine keeps on looking over at you with an almost smile on his face.

It’s the most love struck he ever has, and ever will see him.

[simpfo]

Here’s my list of fandoms and characters I write for!

Supernatural

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Castiel Novak

Crowley

Jack Kline

Lucifer

Rowena Macleod (platonic only)

Criminal Minds

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Spencer Reid

David Rossi (platonic only)

Jennifer "JJ" Jareu

Penelope Garcia

Emily Prentiss

Bones

Temperence "Bones" Brennan

Seely Booth

Zack Addy

Jack Hodgins

Lance Sweets

Angela Montenegro

Camille Saroyan

Daisy Wick

Finn Abernathy

Wendall Bray

Colin Fisher

Vincent Nigel-Murray

Arastoo Vaziri

Clark Edison

James Aubrey

Hayes Flinn

Hannibal (NBC)

Hannibal Lecter

Will Graham

Hannigram

Frederick Chilton

Marvel

Avengers

Tony Stark

Bruce Banner

Steve Rogers

Thor Odinson

Natasha Romanoff

Clint Barton

Sam Wilson

Wanda Maximoff

Pietro Maximoff

Vision

Tom!Peter Parker

Stephen Strange

James "Bucky" Barnes

T'Challa

Scott Lang

Loki Lauefyson

Ultron

Zemo

Raimi Spider-Man

Tobey!Peter Parker

Otto Octavius

Norman Osborn

Harry Osborn

Webb Spider-Man

Andrew!Peter Parker

Harry Osborn

GOTG

Peter Quill

Gamora

Drax

Mantis

Groot

Rocket

Daredevil

Matt Murdock

Foggy Nelson

Venom

Eddie Brock

Venom

Deadpool

Wade "Deadpool" Wilson

The Punisher

Frank Castle

Billy Russo

Harry Potter

Golden Trio Era

Harry Potter

Hermione Granger (platonic only)

Ron Weasley

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Fred and George Weasley

Ginny Weasley (platonic only)

Draco Malfoy

Neville Longbottom

Luna Lovegood

Cedric Diggory

Oliver Wood

Older Maraduers Era

Marauders Eras

James Potter

Severus Snape

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Before GT Era

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Percy Weasley

Riddle Era

Tom Riddle

Slashers

Scream

Billy Loomis

Stu Macher

Poly!ghostface

My Bloody Valentine

Harry Warden

The Boy

Brahms Heelshire

Friday The 13th

Jason Voorhees

Halloween

Michael Meyers

Nightmare on Elm Street

Freddy Krueger

Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Thomas Hewitt

Bubba Saywer

Child's Play

Chucky

Tiffanny

Laid To Rest

Jesse Chromeans (ChromeSkull)

House Of Wax

Bo Sinclair

Vincent Sinclair

Lester Sinclair

Black Christmas

Billy Lenz

Sherlock (BBC)

Sherlock Holmes

John Watson

Mycroft Holmes

Jim Moriarty

Mary Morston

Greg Lestrade

Molly Hooper

The Maze Runner

Thomas

Newt

Minho

Gally

Frypan

Brenda

Supergirl

Kara

Alex

Winn

Brainy

J’onn

Mon El

specific reader characteristics (male, poc, short, etc.) are only per request if they further the stories plot. Im trying to make all of my stories gn or with a reader with no specific characteristics to make them all inclusive. If they have specific characteristics they will be put at the top of any story!

[theloniousbach]

Week 33: Resist/s/urge: An Epilogue

[This entry concludes a weekly series of Facebook posts started as I sought to cope with going on lockdown.  Though we may well be heading back or should be, I have ended the series.  They are no more than ephemeral, but I archive this one as a record of the series.]

My title is meant to mash up “resist surge” and “resists urge” as I bring to an undoubtedly temporary end to this series which I started as we headed into lockdown.  I used it to focus on how I was coping—how as a measure and how as methods.  I shifted the heading every eight weeks as it seemed that we and I were entering new phases.  

We are certainly entering a new “resist surge” phase as we seem to have had almost 100,000 new cases yesterday and deaths over 1,000 the day before and nearly that many yesterday.  Most states are surging as is Europe and Latin America.  So, despite the profound US leadership crisis, the problems are not even primarily of that character.  It is not who is captain of the Titanic but that we are on poorly designed vessel sailing into a sea of icebergs.

It is also odd to suspend this series right as we end a US Presidential Election cycle where this issue is at the center.  But I have easily “resists urge” to write about that.  More challenging to resist is the urge to write about the broader, more fundamental politics underlying it.  I have such opinions and lived them in my 20s and 30s with pride and no regrets.  But this format is far from the avenue for those discussions—and, frankly, dear readers, even the young ones, for those discussions to matter very different social forces will be involved and lead them.

But I felt the series drifting in that direction as I have been settling into personal solutions to the profound challenges are living through.  So, it’s time for a balance sheet and an epilogue for now.  Again, there are new challenges/icebergs on the horizon.

But I started with addressing how I would keep body and soul together with attention, focusing on physical and mental health in the face of stress.  I continued and continue with intermittent fasting and, rather than the pandemic 15, I have continued to get rid of that middle aged gut and my weight is down 3% (rather than up 10%).  I am back in the range I was 30-35 years ago, but I am well aware that I don’t have the body of a 30 year old.  

Still I might be as fit as I have ever been.  From the start, I knew that daily exercise was key—and daily walks had been my prime exercise for year.  They were and are important for getting out of the house.  But I made daily yoga the focus witchin that first month.  I’ve been doing yoga fairly regularly for over 20 years, since I gave up alcohol as part of a detox prompted by getting off Codeine 3 for a long term bout with kidney stones in 1999 that culminated in surgery.  So I know my poses and had been using Yoga with Adrienne once or twice a week for several years.  I ramped it up with her several annual 30 Days of Yoga series working my way through all of them.  Now I’m a subscriber and follow mostly her daily classes.  I have much better muscle tone, posture, and lung capacity.

So, with the body part of body and soul going, I took up soul in parallel.  

I rolled with the punches with work and teaching fairly well, adjusting to the technology and tempo of remote work.  I am productive in ways that I couldn’t/cannot be at the office and feel connected to students and colleagues.  I get enough peopling in.

But, as someone important once said, life begins when this activity ceases, at the table, at the tavern, in bed.  Now the sale of my labor power is complicated and elements of it truly are unalienated and the rest of it is certainly rewarding and meaningful.  But it is alienated in the sense that, at 65 years of age, I can see the day looming when I can choose not to do it.  Life begins when I do the things I doubled down on to keep soul together.

STORIES—At first it was quite hard to concentrate and I could not read anything with a long arc.  So I read the Decameron, a story or two, but no more than three, a day until I had all 100.  It was a story of plague and distraction, so it fit. I also discovered streaming plays at first from the National Theatre of London but soon the Globe and Stratford Festival.  I homed in on Shakespeare, particularly lesser known plays.  That welcome habit has fallen off and I have missed an October series of three Shakespeare plays from a National Theatre partner.  But it is an acquisition that I hope to foster and grow.

I settled back into novels soon enough with mysteries mostly.  Right now, I’m rereading Elsa Hart’s The Cabinets of Barnaby Mayne to teach and for a Webster University Book Club with my class and Elsa herself.  Since she is someone I take my beginner’s questions about my retirement project book, it is useful to outline it on this reread as I took my note taking to a deeper, multiple purpose level.  Recently I got caught up in the 1632 universe of alternate history.  There have been several Anna Eliot/Charles Veley Sherlock Holmes/Lucy James pastiche novellas which are also good to study for my own project.  I got back into mysteries by rereading, 35 years on, the Martin Beck series on the occasion of Maj Sjowall’s death.  I also dipped into the Hogarth Shakespeare series to see how modern authors dealt with the very challenging source material of “The Taming of the Shrew” and “The Merchant of Venice” which were part of the theater season.  There were also a couple of Jodi Taylor St. Mary’s/Time Police novels as I keep up on that series.

SCHOLARSHIP—My teaching, an unalienated part of my labor and the part that I will do after retirement from the day job, has been rewarding.  I took Science in the News remote and asynchronous as we locked down.  That worked in the moment as I could make COVID our subject matter (because that what we were all studying anyway) and could think about how the world was testing us far more than I as a teacher could.  So I could relax about some of the mechanics.  I had already built eight weeks of rapport with them, so that helped too.  My current class happens synchronously but largely remotely.  It’s topic—the role of place—has been a way to test some concepts (place as human constructed, therefore rich in history worth studying, and where community happens) that are part of a broader collaboration that may result in a conference.

As we were shutting down, I had made some significant changes to my “last” Edgar Anderson paper for the Annals of the Missouri Botanical Garden with Gar Allen’s suggestions.  It received further polishing from the Annals editor and also pal Peter Hoch.  So it is well and truly done, set to appear in the last quarterly paper issue of that renowned journal.  While I have said it’s the “last” Edgar paper, gee, maybe I could write about his collaboration with Pioneer Hi Bred Seed Company and so might see if Agricultural History might want it.

Place and a historical mystery are where my intellectual interests will shift.

MUSIC—The biggest threat of the pandemic is/was the loss of live music.  That very first weekend of lockdown I had the decision to not go taken out of my hands by cancellations of the SF Jazz Collective celebrating Miles Davis’s In a Silent Way and Sly Stone’s Stand at the Sheldon and Joe Russo’s Almost Dead (where I have invested my Deadhead energy as I don’t think I’ll see any original members again, though talk about “resists urge” pressures) at the Pageant.  Those cancellations were sensible and necessary, but gee it would have been hard to make the decision to stay home.  

The pull for live music is that strong.  

But I’ve found it in ways that might even make for more opportunities.Jorma Kaukonen has done two dozen Quarantine Concerts, mostly solo with local friends from his Fur Peace Ranch operation, but Jack Casady came in for two shows in July and is around currently with the third show tonight.  Kaukonen is not only musically formative, but so forthrightly himself that it is comfortable to be with him.  I have similar warm feelings of connection with Larkin Poe who are extending the southern Americana blues roots etc tradition with slide guitar and killer vocals.  They have done various streams, both from their spare bedrooms to empty venues with their band.

The piano has been key and, at first, the recitals under the auspices of the 92nd Street Y and Fred Hersch’s almost 40 Tunes of the Day were the start.  The Chamber Music Society of Lincoln Center and the BBC 4/Wigmore Hall collaboration (with the helpful YouTube algorithm kicking in) gave me more choices.  Wigmore Hall is my go to source and through them I have seen Angela Hewitt wrap up her Bach cycle and Andras Schiff dig into the last three Beethoven Piano Sonatas.  I have discovered key parts of the horn repertoire including the Brahms Trio and the Mozart and Beethoven Wind Quintets and some of the clarinet chamber works (watching Gassenheuer for example.  I’ll click on most cello sonatas and ensembles and all piano trios.  There is something about this listening that has paid benefits to my jazz listening, particularly more challenging out there works, as I can hear structural elements better.

Jazz is my go to though and there is a wealth of in real time performances as if we really were in New York and had to choose between the Jazz Gallery (got a membership), the Vanguard (an annoying platform but top drawer stuff), the Blue Note, Smoke, and Small’s (a place to check for up and comers but also, with a contribution, through their archive, people who upped and came on the scene).  I have seen folks I wouldn’t have otherwise—George Cables, last night Oliver Lake/Reggie Workman/Andrew Cyrille, David Murray, Billy Hart with Mark Turner, Kenny Werner, Omer Avital.  It goes on and on.  I have lots of Couch Tour FB Note/Tumblr entries.

I was playing piano lots until we went on vacation, exploring how tunes fit together.  Nothing ready to unplug the headphones even for Ellen, but rewarding.  I have a new tune, “Everything Happens To Me” to understand, so I think that habit is returning.  But I do sit at the piano frequently for my almost weekly discussions with a young singer/songwriter/marching band tuba player about music theory where we explore things together.  They’re free to her and she still may be getting a bad deal but it’s part of keeping my body and SOUL together.  Between her, Jorma, and my own inclination, I do play lots of guitar and that helps too.

But it is WRITING that has been my biggest solace.  I come out of this experience comfortable saying I don’t just like to write and that I have a decent body of published work but I am a writer.  It’s how I live in the world.  It’s how I pin down my musical experiences for example.  

But obviously this series itself about coping with the pandemic is how I have coped with the pandemic.  I treasure that more of you have read these than I would imagine and I do take you all into account somewhat as I write these.  I want them to be organized, appealing, and clear.  But I am a writer and I would do this even if you weren’t here.  But social media means that I’m not Franz Kafka or Emily Dickinson writing to make sense of the world but creating papers that they would just as soon be destroyed.  That said, these are thoroughly ephemeral and this one will be the only one in the series curated in the sense that it’s on my Tumblr.

So, I am a writer who makes sense of the world by writing.  The world will call me to write by being insensible.  Very soon very likely.  But this series has run its course.  So as we resist the surge, I will resist the urge to do the same old thing.

Still I bet I see you soon.

[nemesisbinxartifactseries]

Artifact Series M

M.C. Escher's Pen

M.C. Escher's Mirror Ball

MC Hammer's Parachute Pants

M.E. Clifton James's Fake Military Uniform

M.K. "Mahatma" Ghandi's Dhoti *

M.K. "Mahatma" Ghandi's Glasses *

M.K. "Mahatma" Ghandi's Sandals *

M.K. "Mahatma" Ghandi's Spinning Wheel *

M.R. James' Glasses

Ma Jun’s South Pointing Chariot

Mabel Stark's Tiger Hoop

The Maccabee's Menorah

Macbeth's Sword

Mace from the House of Commons

MacGyver's Swiss Army Knife

Madame Alexe Popova's Tea Set

Madame Bobin's Coffin

Madeleine L'Engle's Brooch

Madman Muntz’s Stereo-Pak

Madness-Inducing Chair *

Madrigal Sword Cane

Maeda Toshiie’s Yari

Mae West's Cocktail Glasses

Magdelaine Laframboise's Foxskin Shawl

Magician's Cotton Sheets

Magician's Cufflinks

The Magna Carta

Magnetic Lion Head Ring

Magnifying Glass

Magnus Ver Magnusson's Belt

Maitreya's Purse

Majidae Mic

Makoto Hagiwara's Fortune Cookie

Malachite Ring

Malcolm Forbes Odometer

Malik Nettles' Gun

The Maltese Falcon *

Manco Cápac's Storytelling Cuff Bracelet

Man-Eating Trees

Mansa Musa's Gold Bars

Mama Cass' Ham Sandwich

Manco Cápac's Staff

Man Ray's Camera *

Mandala Tapestry

Mangal Pandey’s Bullet Cartridges

Mao Gong Ding

Maori Warrior Masks

Marble Block from The Papal States

Marble Inscription from Mauslous' Tomb

Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain"

Marcel Marceau's White Gloves

Marcel Proust's Tea Tin

Marcel Vogel's Crystal

Marc Isambard Brunel's Quadrant

Marco Polo's Compass

Marco Polo's Chopsticks

Marcus Aurelius' Sword *

Marcus Tullius Cicero's Ladle

Margaret Cavendish's Inkwell

Margaret D Craighill's Bandages

Margaret Keane’s Sketchbook

Margaret Sanger's Nursing Bag

Margaret Devaney’s Pocketknife

Margaret Hamilton's Broomstick

Margaret Hughes' Stage Dress

Margaret Q. Adams’ Badge

Margaret Mitchell’s Manila Envelopes

Margaret Sanger's Nursing Bag

Margaret Waters’ High Chair

Margarete Steiff's Bear

Maria Montesori's Gloves

Marian Anderson's Hair Pins

Marian Rejewski's Cards

Maria Sibylla Merian's Painting Set

Maria von Trapp's Devotional Scapular

Marie-Angélique Memmie Le Blanc's Bracelet

Marie Antoinette’s Cake Server

Marie Antoinette's Guillotine Blade *

Marie Antoinette’s Hand Mirror

The Marie Celeste *

Marie Curie's Research Papers

Marie Curie's Silver Pendant

Marie Guichon's Red Hood

Marie-Jean-Leon Lucoq's Memento Mori

Marie Laveau's Crucifix *

Marie Laveau's Voodoo Doll *

Marie Rose Ferron’s Nightstand

Marie Tussaud's Wax

Marilyn Monroe's Hairbrush

Marilyn Monroe's White Dress

Marilyn vos Savant's Pen

Marina Raskova’s Polikarpov Po-2

Marion Davis' Scarf

Mark Allen Hicks' Nunchucks

Mark Antokolsky's Mephistopheles

Mark Antony's Roman Aquila

Mark Fischbach's Moustache

Mark Twain's The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

Mark Twain’s Fountain Pen

Markus Hess’ Oscilloscope

Marquis de Sade's Pillow

Mars' Ancile Buckler Shield

Mars' Axe

Marshall Fields' Chevrolet Impala

Marshall Ratliff's Santa Claus Suit

Marsyas' Aulos

Martha Clarke’s Kaleidoscope

Martha Graham's Ballet Shoes

Martin A. Couney’s Baby Incubator

Martin Fullam's Jacket

Martin Kaylor’s Wallpaper

Martin Laurello's Shirt

Martin Luther King Jr.'s Bible

Martin Luther King Jr.'s Handcuffs

Martin Luther King Jr.'s Shoes

Martin Luther's Cross

Martin Luther's Nails

Martin Waldseemüller’s Construction Gores

Martino da Como's Crock Pot

Marty Cooper's Cellphone

Martyrs of Gorkum Wooden Barn Beam

Maruyama Ōkyo's Paintbrush

Marvin "Marvelous" Hagler's Boxing Gloves

Marvin Heemeyer's Welding Helmet

Marvin Hewitt’s Credentials

Marvin "Marvelous" Hagler's Boxing Gloves

Marvin Middlemark's Rabbit-Ears *

Mary I of England's Dress

Mary I of England's Pearl Pendant

Mary I of England's Tea Cup

Mary Amdur’s Guinea Pig Wheel

Mary Ann Cotton's Apron

Mary Babnik Brown's Hairs

Mary Baker Eddy’s Bible

Mary Baker's Necklace

Mary Bateman’s Eggs

Mary Delany's Embroidery Samples

Mary of Jesus of Agreda's Casket

Mary of Jesus of Ágreda's Rosary Necklace

Mary Magdalene's Cross Pendent

Mary Mallon's Cleaver *

Mary McLeod Bethune's Cane

Mary Poppin's Traveling Bag *

Mary, Queen of Scott's Croquet Mallet *

Mary Shelley's Box Desk

Mary Shelley's Glasses

Mary Shelly's Weathervane

Mary Somerville's Book

Mary Todd Lincoln's Gloves

Mary Wortley Montagu's Floristy Gloves

Mary Worth's Mirror

Marybeth Tinning's Childhood Doll (canon )

The Masakichi Statue

Masao Asano's Racing Car '42'

Masco Brand Pocket Knife

The Mask

Masked Marauders Vinyl Record

Mask of Anubis

Master Sword & Hylian Shield

Mata Hari's Stockings *

Mathias Zdarsky’s Ski Bindings

Matroshka Experiments Mannequin

Matt Smith's Bowtie

Mattel Blue Race Car Toy

Matthew Brady's Shoes *

Matthew C. Perry's Box

Matthew Henson’s Inuit Bird Carving

Matthew Walker's Rigging Rope

Matteo Bandello's Cross

Maui's Fishhook

Maurice Andre's Trumpet

Maurice Chevalier’s Boater Hat

Maurice de Sully's Three Gargoyle Statues

Maurice Koechlin's Original Eiffel Tower Model

Maurice Tillet's Trunks

Maurice Vermersch's Waffle Iron *

Maurice Ward’s Extruder

Mauro Dolce's Seismoloy Chart

Max Baer's Shorts *

Max Keith's Test Bottle of Fanta

Max Lüscher’s Color Cards

Max Manus' Stapler

Max Page's Helmet

Max Schreck's Fake Teeth

Max Sievert's Brass Blow Torch

Max Wertgeimer's Zoetrope *

Max Yasgur's Glasses

Maximilian Grabner's Jacks *

Maxwell Sharpen's Atrocity-Denying Armchair

Maxwell's Silver Hammer

Maya Angelou's Bell

Maya Angelou's Church Hat

Mayan Calendar *

Mayan Divine King's Mask

Mayan Sacrificial Knife

McGuffey's Eclectic Readers

The McNamara Brother's Suitcase

Mean Coach Whistle

Meat-Shaped Stone

Mehmed III's Silken Cord *

Mel Blanc's Pitch Pipe

Mel Brooks’ Hat

Mel Fisher's Diving Mask

Mel Water's Shovel

Melchisédech Thévenot’s Spirit Level

Melvil Dewey's Filing Cabinet

Melvin Dummar's Will

Memorial Fresco of Hanno the Elephant

Memory-Living Victim Shoes

Memory Replacement Pendulum

Menes' Crocodile Scale

Mercy Brown’s Shawl

Merit Badge Sashes from Boy and Girl Scouts of America

Meriwether Lewis’ Bear Trap *

Merry Man Dagger

Meshach Browning’s Turkey Quill

Mesopotamian Bronze Stele *

Metacomet's War Bonnet

Metal Bending Blacksmith Gloves

Metal Ram's Head Drawer Handle

Metal Rooster Statue

Metal Whistling Top

Merle Evans' Cornet

Methuselah's Shawl

Meyer Lansky's Desk Fan *

Mi Fu's Bamboo Scrolls

"Miami Zombie" Rudy Eugene's Bible

Michael Bay's Leather Jacket

Michael Crichton's Rough Draft of Jurassic Park

Michael Durant's Dogtags

Michael Ende's Volume

Michael Fagan's T-Shirt

Michael Faraday's Balloons

Michael Faraday's Horseshoe Magnets

Michael Faraday's Magnetic Stones

Michael Jackson's Glove

Michael Jackson's Red and Black Jacket

Micheal Keaton's "Beetlejuice" Makeup

Michael Larson's Watch

Michael Malloy's Scarf

Michael Meyer's Kitchen Knife

Michael Servetus' Parchment

Michael P. Murphy's Tactical Radio

Michelangelo's Brushes

Michelangelo's Poems

Michel de Montaigne's Desk

Michel de Montaigne's Original Copy of Essays

Michel Lotito's Mineral Oil

Michiel de Ruyter's Crest

Michigan Highway 185 Highway Shield

Michonne's Katana

Mictlantecuhtli Statue

Midori Naka's Kimono

Miguel de Cervantes' Windmill *

Mika Jenkin's Sword and Scabbard

Mike Fink's Rifle

Mike Powell's Track Shoes

Mike Rowe's Ballcap

Mikhail Britnev's Journal

Mikimoto Kōkichi’s Pearls

Miles Davis' First Trumpet *

Milk Drinking Hindu Statues

Minamoto no Yoritomo's Katana

Mind-Refracting Chandalier*

Minecraft Creeper Wind-Up Toy

Minerva's Helm

Ming Vase

Miniature Smith Alarm Clock *

Mining Cart From the Benxihu Colliery Accident

Minnie Pearl's Hat

Minoan Trident *

Minoru Yamasaki's Model of the World Trade Center

Mircale on 34th Street Santa Hat

Mirin Dajo's Rib Bone

Mirra Alfassa's Prayer Rug

Mirror from Kitson *

Mirrors from the Luxor Hotel

Mirza Ghulam Ahmad's Topi Taqiyah and Charpai

Mischa Barton's Handgun

Mischievous Salt Shaker

Miss Belvedere

Miss Chantilly's Fancy Dancing Pump

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children Series

Missile from the Zone of Silence

Mitch Hedberg's Glasses

Mithridates VI of Pontus' Cup

Miyamoto Musashi’s Bokken

Miyata Unicycle

Mizzenmast from the Hanging of John the Painter

Moctezuma's Headdress

Model 1890

Moe Howard's Necktie

Mohamed Bouazizi's Gas Can

Mohammad Sidique Khan's Prayer Rug

Molly Williams' Apron

Molotovs from Stalingrad

Momotarō's Peach Pit

Mona Lisa's Wooden Teeth *

Monarch Butterfly Clip

Mongol General's Shortbows

Mongol Paiza

"Monkey" Typewriter

Monopoly Board from the Great Train Robbery

Monte Saldo's Wristband

Montesquieu’s Folding Screen

Montgolfier Brothers' Sackcloth

Mont Saint-Michel Abbey Bell

"Morans" Protest Sign

Mordecai Kaplan's Torah

Morgan Earp's Billiards Cue

Morgan Spurlock's Belt

Moriz Gottschalk's Fairy-Castle Dollhouse *

Morphers

Morphing Cube

Moses' Staff

Mother Jones' Purse

Mother Shipton's Tarot Cards *

Mother Teresa's Rosary

Mound Builder Hoe

Mouse-sized Skateboard

Movie Projector from the Berlin Wintergarten Theatre

Moysan of Blois' Miniature Skull Clock *

Mr. Bean's Teddy Bear

Mr. Creosote's Tie

Mr. Freeze's Freeze Gun

Mr. Mental and Coco's Fezzes *

Mrs. Pac-Man's Bow

Msiri’s Katanga Crosses

MTV VCR

Muhammad Ali's Boxing Gloves *

Muhammad's Ghutrah

Muhammad al-Idrisi's "The Tabula Rogeriana"

Muhammad ibn Zakariya al-Razi’s Bimaristan

Muhammad ibn Zakariya al-Razi's Mortar & Pestle

Mummification Linen

Murderous Car Headlights

The Murder Weapons from Grigori Rasputin's Assassination

Murray Ball's Electric Fence

Murray Becker's Camera

Musician's Fiddle

Musō Soseki's Bamboo Brush Cup

Mutsuhiro Watanabe's Sword

MV Joyita

Myrrha's Noose

Myron of Eleutherae's Bronze Discobolus Discus

Myrtle's Plantation Mirror

Myrtles Plantation's Noose