#murakami nijiro icons

[v6mpcat]

ultraviolence

[bangtaninborderland]

Risk It All (30)- Choose Life pt.1

Genre: Chishiya x f!Reader| angst | eventual smut

Warning: mentions of injuries/blood/violence

A/N:lmao this is nearly the end of the first season yet I've been writing this story for YEARS???

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Neither of you stopped, weaving in and out of burnings, over and under rubble as your feet carried you as far away as possible. Ignoring the chance you were dragging yourself into more danger, you let Chishiya guide you.

“In here!”

It was a small hardware store, the windows were already broken and the shelves raided, no doubt for weapons but luckily hidden behind the counter was a set of stairs. You tripped up them still holding each other's hand. As much as you desperately wanted to slump against the floor and let your lungs replenish the mass amounts of oxygen that you had depleted due to your impromptu sprint you knew that safety wasn’t guaranteed.

“Help me get this across the door.” You gesture to a solid filing cabinet. Mustering up the last of your shared strength you locked yourselves in. Bullets wouldn’t get through metal that thick.

The windows thankfully hadn’t been smashed but there was no heat.

This wasn’t like the home Chishiya had made.

“Did you get hit?” Chishiya asked through a pant. “How is your arm?”

“Fine.” You check to make sure. “What about you?”

He lifts his shirt before nodding. “It didn’t reopen, it’s okay.”

“What the fuck was that.” You drop your head against the wall. “How did he find us.”

Chishiya pulled off his backpack, handing you a bottle of water. “I think he knew people would be heading there to join the game.”

You stilled, the bottle clutched in your hand. “The game Kuina and An left to join?”

“Yeah probably.” He takes another swig of the water before recapping it and putting it back in his bag. “Why?”

“What if they got shot?”

He shakes his head. “Trust me Kuina is like a leech, she won’t die.”

“But what if-“

“Stop worrying about them.” He cuts you off. “They weren’t the ones that just nearly got shot to death, it’s okay to care about them but you have to prioritise yourself. Stop being irrational.”

“I’m not being irrational, I'm worrying about a friend.” You explain through gritted teeth.

He stares at you blankly. “Do you think Kuina would want you to worry in this way?”

You hate how he makes a good point.

Kuina would be angered at the thought you were worrying about her when your own life had been in danger. “No, she wouldn’t.”

“Then forget about her for a while. It’s okay to do that. It’s okay to care for yourself.” He assures you. “We need to figure out where we are.”

You peek out of the window, dropping back into your previous position when you see nothing. “I didn’t see any signs as we ran, it’s too dark.”

He agreed. “We will have to wait until the sun comes up but whatever is going on, I think this is coming to an end.”

“You think the games are nearly complete?”

He sounds sure. “I think that we have nearly won every card we need.”

“I hope so.” You wish. “I don’t think either of us will fare well against another game.”

“We should rest.” He manages to find a blanket and a cushion, laying them down on the floor. “You sleep first we can take it in turns, I’ll wake you up in a little so we can switch.”

“Are you sure?” You eye the makeshift bed. “You’ve just come out of a game one that was no doubt exhausting, mentally if not physically. I’m okay you want to sleep first.”

“No, it’s okay.” He declines the offer. “You get some sleep, I'm going to try and see if there is anything useful here, just let me know if I make too much noise.”

“Okay.” You agree, laying atop the blanket. “Goodnight.”

“Mhm.”

Despite his warning about making noise you don’t hear anything, it was hard to drift off at first. Your mind ran a world of its own as it had you picturing the masked gunman shooting down the door any second but eventually, the adrenaline you’d worked up burned out and you were left depleted and exhausted.

This time there were no dreams, just a void.

“Hey.” You felt yourself being sat up.

“What?” You grumbled, still disoriented from your nap. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s been a few hours.” Ah, it was time to switch.

You sit up, huffing as you brush the stray hairs out of your face. “Okay you sleep, I’ll take watch.”

“Okay.” He agrees, slipping onto the mat you’d just moved from. “I found a spare wrench, it’s against the wall.”

“Oh that’s good.” You yawn, leaning against the wall opposite Chishiya. “Sleep.”

“Goodnight.” He mumbles.

It didn’t take him long to fall asleep, it made sense though. He hadn’t exactly had time to rest after his game and it was unlikely he had managed to eat anything.

That was another pressing matter - food.

You quietly looked around, sifting through drawers and cupboards. Most of it was no good, perishable foods that were so rotten they looked as if they had been there for a millennia.

At this point they probably could have been.

It was hard not to wonder what was happening in the real world, if time passed different here then how long had you been gone? Years? Months? Days? It felt as though you’d been here for at least a year but it was probably something more like a few months.

The sun was already rising, it seemed as though some days night lasted forever, an unending darkness accompanied by a few hours of dull sunshine but some days it was the opposite, a hot sun with little reprieve found in the minimal hours of darkness that coats the city.

Today seemed like the latter.

You peered over the windowsill, the city as always was dead but you took that as a positive rather than a negative, you dropped back to the floor with a thud.

It was probably weird to watch Chishiya sleep but it wasn’t as though you had a variety of things to keep you entertained, you missed the small house and all of its perks. You forgot, even for a few days, what it was like to have absolutely nothing in a world where there was no permanency.

Your life in the real world - if it could be called that - had grown dull. There wasn’t much variety in the things you’d do, you were lonely and had grown accustomed to living alone but you missed how permanent things were. You had a home you could return to, you had a job, you had people you’d interact with, the sun rose and set at a normal time, you could go to stores and not worry about the shelves being empty.

Nothing here was permanent, not even the people, that’s what hurt you the most.

From the corner of your eye you saw an object stutter in the sky, you scrambled up, your heart racing in preparation to run.

Only to see something that, for once, provided you comfort.

“Chishiya wake up!” You slap his chest.

He jolts up, body rigid. “What?!”

“Look!” You point out the window at the mass ball of flames falling upon the city.

“Is that the blimp?” He squints. “It’s the king of spades. If I’ve worked it out correctly and I’m sure I have, that means after Kuina and Ans game finishes there’s just one game left.”

“What one?” You ask, a part of you relaxing at the blimp crashing into the ground.

“The queen of hearts.”

“We should go.” He stands, brushing his clothes off.

You quickly pack up, both taking a few sips of water and halving an oat bar before setting off.

The journey to the final blimp was thankfully a short one, the game stationed relatively close to the hardware store you'd hidden in the day prior. It made sense, you were practically in the heart of the city.

“Is that-“ You were shocked to see so many familiar faces. “Arisu? Usagi?” You called out.

They both turned to you at the same time, eyeing Chishiya cautiously before approaching you. “You’re alive?”

“Clearly.” Chishiya scoffs under his breath before turning to you. “I’ll be over here.”

You nod as he walks away. “How are you both?”

Arisu smiles although it’s strained. “As well as can be, are you going to play?”

“No.” You shook your head. “I have enough days on my visa.”

Usagi shrugs. “We played a few, I think we all just want this to be over.”

“You can say that again.” Arisu laughs. “Heart games are never good.”

“They aren’t.” You agree, the memories of your own horrifying experience with the card were always on your mind. “Have you seen anyone else?”

“Like who?”

“ An? Kuina?” You ask.

“Not for a while.” Usagi answers. “I saw them both after we split up at the train station they were doing okay.”

“We were staying together.” You explains. “Only for a few days but they both had to leave to join a game.”

“The Queen of Clubs?” Arisu questions.

You make a noise of affirmation. “How did you know?”

“I saw the blimp pass over, I also saw it crash.”

If the game was over and they weren’t here that could mean….

“Didn’t you say you were staying together?” Usagi seems to notice your train of thought and intervenes. “Did they know you were coming here?”

“No.” You purse your lips. “We were hiding out at a small house type hut but the king of spades turned up and quite literally blew it up.”

“I’m sure they are fine.” Usagi rubs your arm. “They probably went back there first.”

You truly hoped that was the case.

“Thanks.” You smile at her. “Is there anyone else here?”

The atmosphere around you turned into something solemn.“Tata…he passed away during a game.”

“How?” You weren’t close with him but he wasn’t a bad person.

Arisu looks at you with unbridled guilt. “He died helping us win.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t regret that choice.” You reassure him, it was never easy when you were the reason for someone’s death even when you weren’t directly involved in it. “I’m glad you’re both okay.”

“Likewise.” He doesn’t make an attempt to smile, you can understand why. “I think the game is starting.”

You look back to find the gates surrounding the large building open, something they hadn’t been when you arrived. “I’m gonna go get Chishiya.”

He seems to have the same idea as he walks towards you. “Happy?”

“Just peachy.” You retort sarcastically. “Let’s go.”

“Without us?” You could scream as you turn back to see Kuina and An walking towards you, both worse for wear with various cuts and bruises littering their pale bodies.

“Fuck.” You curse as you run towards them, your arms wrapping around their waist as you help them stay upright. “Chishiya!”

He understands and wraps Ans arm around his shoulder. “You owe me, both of you owe me.”

“Stop complaining.” You hiss at him. “What happened to you two?”

“We won our game but it was hard.” Kuina says tiredly. “I need to sit.”

“Here.” You help them both slump down against the set of stairs beside the building. “You’ll be okay, you will. Chishiya do you have anything to help?”

He looks at the pair before grabbing your hand and pulling you aside. “I’ll be honest. I don’t think they are going to make it.”

“Don’t say that.” You felt the colour drain from your face. “You can help them.”

“There’s too much blood.” He shakes his head. “It will be pointless.”

“Chishiya please.” You bat away your tears. “I can’t lose them.”

He groans but pulls the bag off his back. “What one first?”

“Her.” An nudges Kuina. “She has it worse.”

“Take this.” Chishiya shoved a small bottle of cleaning alcohol into your hands. “Clean as much as you can. I’ll deal with Kuina.”

“What happened?” You glance at Arisu before tuning back to An.

“They were in a game.” Your voice wavers as you carefully dab at the large gash on Ans leg. “We need to finish this and get out of here, they need a hospital.”

“Usagi and I have decided to play.” He informs you. “I’ll do my best.”

You hear him turn away. “Arisu?”

He turns back to you. “Yeah?”

“I know you can win this.”

You watch as he and Usagi disappear inside the building, both of them limping as they go, clearly sustaining their own injuries.

“Hey?” An croaks.

You turn your attention back to her. “Yeah?”

“It’s okay.” It takes her far more effort than it should to brush the tears away from your cheeks. “It’s okay.”

Arisu needed to win.

You needed to get out.

They needed to live.

You needed them to live.

[coqiito]

͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏THE ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏END.

[cupofcappuccino]

nijiro heyyyyy

[vinamari]

HELLO??

[chuova]

ィ      ִ    (🗑)     𝆬     sad  eyes    ๑     ׅ    ᰋ    𓈒   ♡ิ

◎     ׅ       ᰋ     𓈈     ໑       ࣪       🛵     ᭡      𝆬     〢

[binbonsescape]

Nijiro Murakami - fanart (Nijiro got me inspired today 🥰)

[missorigamimk]

[bucciniexe]

— 𝐊𝐚𝐳𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚, 𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

[klaustozier]

i can't believe that i'm this in love with him

[welkinsky]

Chishiya X Reader | Come Here

WARNING: Spoilers, curse words & mention of weapons, death!

Author's Note: Thank you so much for your support and reblogs, as always! I see and appreciate each one of you! This is a PART OF A SERIES so people who are just reading this one post for the first time might not understand the context please read the parts linked below.

Part 1 | ... | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

But before you two can cross even one hallway, you were faced by shooters who were now pointing at you two and started shooting like crazy. You suddenly felt pain in the right side of your abdomen.

This was the last thing you thought before it all went black.

But as it turned out you were not dead, Tatta just pulled you to the nearest hallway and you kinda just overreacted. It sure was embarrassing when you woke up and had to explain to them why you were out.

Nonetheless, you were conscious and were up and ready to help them. The main goal in mind was to catch Arisu but Chishiya's face would pop up in your head from time to time making it difficult to focus.

You finally found Arisu not before having to fight off a few shooters with your bare hands as Usagi went and let Arisu loose. Once this was done all of you went to Anugi. 

Even though you had this unspoken bond between you and Anugi you knew that he was not himself ever since Hatter was gone. Anugi you knew would never let this massacre happen.

You still maintained your distance as Arisu was beaten up by Anugi again and again. That is when you saw Kuina enter the room, she was hurt. You speed walked over to her, "Are you alright? What happened?" you helped her sit down.

"Last Boss freak happened," she said as she took your help but never made any eye contact with you, which you obviously noticed. As the entire drama enrolled Ann told everyone that the girl killed herself she was the witch. You looked over to Kuina surprised as she nodded, she finally looked at you. It was very clear to her how your guilt was consuming you. She felt bad.

"It's alright," she said holding your hand and smiling, reassuring you that it was fine. Before you can say anything she said, "Chishiya." Following her line of vision, you saw Chishiya on the first floor overlooking all the drama. Then he looked in both of your directions and walked away. He was coming down to the hallway behind you two and she followed him.

Not knowing if you were all on the same terms anymore or not, you decided that it was better to stay back. He did look back to see if you were coming or not. You weren't, so he just smiled and went ahead without you.

Once the game was over everyone went out because someone apparently set the mansion on fire. You knew the game didn't end just there. You went back to see if the card appeared there or not. You assumed that Aguni must still have the cards so it'll be good leverage since you'll have the last card. You can take his help for as long as you want.

That is when you saw Chishiya and Kuina there already. "I knew you'll come," he said still facing away from you looking at the card. "I was starting to think collecting these cards was pointless." he continued taking the ten hearts in his hand.

"What do you think now?" you said walking closer to them. "I'm thinking that we still haven't seen any face cards. So what is it that the game controllers want us to see?" that is when one of the pillars collapsed.

"Time to go," Kuina said as both of them walked to the right exit. You were confused if you should join them or not. Guilt was heavy. Especially with Chishiya. "Come on," he said turning towards you.

You smiled and jogged over them like a happy puppy. 

A few days have passed and no game has appeared yet. You have started to lose hope to be able to leave the borderlands now. 

Even though you all were back to normal with those two but Chishiya always maintained his distance from you. Never sat next to you or was too close physically. As much as you craved it, you understood that this was natural after you doubted him. Why would he want to do all this again you never really pushed him either.

One night you were going over all the memories with him. The day you first met. How you two caught onto the room that could be the one in the apartment complex game. And when you two went to check in on the tagger together. Wait... the tagger. You got a slip from her pocket. What and where was it? 

You looked around, Kuina was fast asleep and Chishiya was nowhere to be found. So you started looking for him and found him sitting on the rooftop. "Hey remember when we first met in the apartment complex game?" you said being restless. "How can I forget," he said calmly. Then he realized he said it out loud and regained his senses.

You asked him hesitantly, "Do you have that slip? The one we found from the tagger? I think I left mine back at the beach" you said now sitting next to him. He pulled it out from his hoodie and handed it over. You looked at it intently and then said, "I've been thinking about it and the only conclusion that came to my mind was the subway station." He raised his eyebrows in surprise because even he was not able to crack this.

You were new to the city and were using maps most of the time. By now the subway map was freshly imprinted in your memory and this resembled a lot like it.

The next day you all went to check it. You were right, this was some sort of facility that sure as hell was not by the subway system. Not to mention that there were so many dead bodies who have been shot. As you all went deeper into the place you heard some voices from outside. All of you were on your toes. But as you went closer to investigate it was Arisu and Usagi.

Before you all could talk any further the screens lit up and there she was. Mira. So she was the one who was controlling the beach during the last game. She talked about how the next phase is going to be "exciting" but what got your attention was "Let's play together."

You and Chishiya looked at each other at the same time. This was going to be bad. But at least you all knew what was happening.

As you all were coming out of the subway, there were fireworks just like the day when you first entered the game. You all were talking outside when a lot of cars pulled up, they were among the few who survived the beach.

They said that they saw the blimps and hence decided to follow it. Before they can say anything further, a guy was shot dead, then the girl next to him, and then another guy. "A refile. Get moving" Chishiya said to everyone as you all started running. You thought it was better to hide behind the car when he took your hand and pulled away, "That thing's an anti-tank riffle." then a guy was shot dead inside the car, "So I'd forget hiding behind the car." and pulled you away as you both started running as well.

You ran as fast as you can only focusing on finding a good hiding spot. You could hear people being shot but if you looked you knew you'll freeze. So you only paid attention to finding a hiding spot. You found a concrete subway gate and signaled everyone to come there. And then the gun changed "This is an assault rifle I used it back at the beach." you recognized the voice.

"Without any rules, this is a massacre!" Arisu said as he continued, "There could be more than one shooter. They are coming closer!" as they shot a few people nearby you.

"Okay, we have to move. But everyone, make sure to change your position so that they cannot make you the target. Keep changing your direction and lower your head & body randomly. They are shooting from that direction so make sure that if you hide, hide according to that." You guided everyone. Everyone listened intently and then nodded. Your eyes met Chishiya who was smiling EVEN NOW, "Aguni taught you well."

"Now is not the time Chishiya," you said with worry-filled in your voice. You knew Kuina was good in physical games but were not that confident in Chishiya so you decided that you'll stay right behind him to make sure that he is doing all the things right.

You all started running and the shooter always missed by inches. Thanks to your technique all of you made it far enough to take a break behind a few cars. You were with Kuina and Chishiya. Arisu and Usagi were on the other side. 

Which is when the King Of Spade pulled up in the sky.

"Take this, a good luck charm," Chishiya said as he handed you & Kuina a bomb that he made himself. He looked proud of it. Arisu and Usagi finally decided to make it back to you three when they saw someone who was half dead.

Then you saw a figure with a black cloak walking towards all of you. As he started shooting you realized it would be the King of Spades. Arisu confirmed it by saying it out loud. 

You started standing up a little to see him properly but Chishiya pulled you back down. The look on his face scared you, this was the first time you saw him worried. THIS MADE YOU WORRIED. Out of instinct, you held his hand. If eyes could talk then yours were screaming at him that you will make it out alive. Which must have helped since he smiled back but then pulled back his hand as well which you hated.

But you all had a bigger problem at hand. Out of nowhere like a fucking angel a car came and Tatta and Ann were it in. They told you all to get it. You were the last one to get in, as Chishiya was coming you both saw a grenade being dropped right in front of you. "Go on!" you both said at the same time as Tatta started driving as the bomb blasted behind you.

Without giving it any second thought you jumped out of the moving car to be with Chishiya. You knew Kuina would make it since they were all together plus now Ann was with her too.

You met with Chishiya who was hiding behind the car. "What the," he said surprised before you cut him off "We don't have time. RUN!" you took his hand and went into one of the buildings. This one had many levels and there were a lot of people still on the street so King won't come to kill the two of you so for now you two were safe. 

"I'd say I taught you well too," he said for your quick thinking as you two were clear of the danger. You smiled back. Even though there was a huge danger being with him calmed you down.

Before you can look around to check for any supplies, Chishiya took your hand, pulled you in by your back, and brought both of your lips close...

Part 1 | ... | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

Read these chapters before everyone else here. I update them there before posting them anywhere else on the internet.

----------------------------

Thanks For Reading and for all the support! Have an amazing week <3

Alice In Borderland Materlist

If you liked it you can check out the masterlist too!

A-Z Headcanon

[bangtaninborderland]

Risk It All (27)- Temporary Goodbyes

Genre: Chishiya X F!reader | eventual smut | angst

Warning: none for this!

A/N: ignore me spam posting these 😭

Prev | Masterlist | Next

It had been four days since AN  and Kuina had arrived, you'd spent the first catching up, the second discussing the borderlands, and the third making a run to the closest store which went surprisingly well considering  Chishiya had to explain the way from home and the fourth dragging Chishiya from bed to join the land of the living once again.

His wounds had healed enough to walk around, barely....

"I said no Chishiya." You slammed the cupboard door. "It's too dangerous."

"If I don't go my visit is going to run out." He retorts. "There are no choices here."

You huff, blowing a strand of hair out of your face. "We don't even know if we need visas anymore."

"I'm not risking it and I know you won't either." You know Kuina and An can hear everything, it's not like the walls are thick but you're thankful they let you both have your privacy. "We don't know when the next game will start."

You pull out a packet of rice and pour it into a pot. "Don't use terms like 'we' when you decide this all on your own."

"I did but you shouldn't expect any different." You can practically hear him shrugging. "I have to leave today."

"You can't even walk let alone win a game!" You shout, the bag of rice ripping open and spilling everywhere. "Fuck."

"Let me help." Chishiya says, limping over to you. "Just sit do-

"Stop trying to baby me! I can handle a bag of spoilt rice Chishiya. You can't handle an adult conversation where you discuss something as important as joining another game yet you can help me clean up unimportant messes?"

He frowns. "That's not what you're mad about."

You know it's not. "Whatever just go away."

"I'm leaving to enter the game today." He reminds you.

"I know."

"Are you going to join?"

You shake your head. "I don't need to, not yet."

He nods. "How many days on your visa?"

It hadn't been something you'd begun to worry about, the time was more than enough. "I think 11"

"I'll be fine." He mumbles.

You hate that he seems to understand why you're upset. "I know you will."

"You're scared." He points out as though it's not obvious.

You forgo cleaning the rice in favour of pushing your way into his arms. "I'm terrified, what if you don't come back?"

"I will." He reassures you, his hand hesitantly brushing against your waist. "Don't think about pointless things like that, if I die you just keep going."

"Don't say stuff like that!" You smack his arm, tears threatening to fall. "You can't die Chishiya."

"Why?" He asks, pulling back a little to look at you.

The words are no more than a whisper but you knew he heard them considering how close your bodies were.  "Because I need you."

He laughs, shaking his head. "You don't need anyone, I don't need anyone, you want."

"Fine then I fucking want you okay. Is it so bad I want you to be safe?"

"I will be."

It's easy to ignore the way your nose grows stuffy as you shed a few tears. "You don't know that."

"I do."

"How." You mumble into his chest.

He looks the the ceiling as though genuinely considering his answer. "Because you don't know how to fix the power generator if it goes out and I'm pretty sure if it does you'll die which although seems great because I'll never have to hear you complain again is more trouble than it's worth considering the fact there's a great chance you'll follow me to the afterlife, which by the way I don't believe it, and you'll continue to be just as irritating there too."

You push him away in favour of going back to clean the rice. "I should have let you bleed out on the doorstep.

"You wouldn't do that." He laughs

You ask him. "Why are you so sure?"

"Because I fucking need you." He imitates you.

It's almost like a reflex when you throw the broom at him. "Fuck you."

"Can't, don't have condo-"

Kuina pushes past Chishiya, opening up the cupboard containing the canned food. "This looks fun but I'm hungry."

Chishiya glares at you whilst you hold back a laugh, your chest shaking as you try to be quiet.

"Can't wait to leave." You hear him mutter as he sits down at the table.

Kuina looks at him before pointing to the hall. "Door is right there."

"Great, now I won't get lost." He thanks sarcastically.

You watch them bicker as you tip the dirty rice into a bag, a smile on your face as you force yourself to forget the fact that in a few hours, the house that had become somewhat of a temporary home would be lacking one crucial person.

Lunch passes by as no more than a blur, the food you'd helped Kuina make sitting practically untouched on your plate by the time everyone else had finished. "You weren't hungry?" An asks, taking your plate as you'd asked.

"Not really." You force a smile. "I'm going to lay down for a little I think my head is starting to hurt."

You don't wait for a response from anyone before you pull yourself up, walking directly to the bedroom and closing the door behind you.

It turns out that forgetting Chishiya would be gone was harder to forget than you'd ever imagine.

You don't ask who it is when there's a knock on the door, your instincts know who it is before they walk inside. "You're being a crybaby."

"Fuck you." You know it is probably ineligible from the way your face is buried in the pillows that you and Chishiya share but you don't care. "Go away."

The bed dips as he sits down."I'm not going away, not until later."

"Stop making jokes." 

"Look you're right, I could die but I won't and if I do you'll be okay. I told you not to fall for me, not here but you didn't listen and this is what the outcome is. I won't baby you and tell you that it's going to be fine because we both know what could happen but I'd rather not leave here with you being sad and depressed." You force yourself to look at him despite how awful you must appear.

"Because you'd struggle in the game if I was sad?"

He snorts before schooling his face when he catches your expression. "I wouldn't let it affect me so no but afterwards it would be annoying."

"If there even is an afterwards." You say aloud with it thinking.

"I haven't lost a game up to now and I won't anytime soon so stop being ridiculous and come and show me how to play this stupid card game you kept mumbling about ." He pulls the blanket off you.

You manage to smile at the way he remembered the conversation you'd had two days ago. Chishiya, still unable to get out of bed, you'd wanted to try and keep him company, but despite your 30-minute pleading session for him to let you teach him a few of your favourite card games he had refused.

"Chishiya?" You grab his hand before he opens the door.

He spins on his heel to face you. "Yeah?"

"Please don't die on me."

"I won't." He smiles, pulling the door open.

Kuina and An are already sitting around the makeshift table, the deck of cards in the middle with various snacks dotted around the floor.

You take a seat on one of the pillows, Chishiya sitting beside you. Kuina catches your eye, mouthing an "Are you okay?"

You nod with a smile, despite knowing you looked sad. You wanted to enjoy today, even if it was for a short while you could pretend like everything was normal. "Isn't it morbid playing card games considering where we are?"

You laugh at the question An asks as she shuffles the cards. "Not really, I think it's kind of ironic."

"Idiotic more like." Chishiya scoffs.

You and Kuina both roll your eyes at the comment, An seemingly unbothered as she hands you the pack of cards to which you deal out equally.  "So the name of the game is called cheat but some people call it-"

"Bullshit." An finishes.

You raise your eyebrows at her. "You know it?"

"Of course I do." She laughs. "I'm the best at it."

"I doubt it."

You both laugh, as Kuina and Chishiya stare at you both in confusion. "The game also has another name, some people refer to it as "I doubt it."

"Ohhhhh!" Kuina claps. "Now I get it."

"Okay forget this im going to sleep." Chishiya makes to stand but you pull him back down by the pocket of his pants.

"Sit and shut up." He raises his eyebrows in something akin to shock before huffing and sliding back down into his previous position. "So as I was saying, the player to the left of the dealer, which would be Kuina, starts by placing between 1-4 cards face down in a discard pile in the centre. The player must state what the cards they have placed down are but they do not have to tell the truth. They do however have to keep the value the same. For example, I could say I have the 3 kings but place down 3 of the clubs... are you all following?"

You wait for all three of them to say yes before continuing. "The other players can call "cheat" or "bullshit if they think the player is lying about the value of their cards."

"So what happens then?" Chishiya asks, looking at his cards.

"Well, I'd say Kuina, for example, were to say that if you were to call cheat you would have to show your cards to everyone. If Kuina was right you would have to pick up all the cards in the centre, then it would be Kuina's turn to go. If Kuina is wrong, the person on the left of the player, which would be me, will go next."

"And if no one calls the bullshit thing?" You almost choke at hearing Chishiya cuss but you hold it back.

"Well I would take my turn but I must declare the value of my cards to be only one up or down from what you have said yours is." You answer him before turning back to Kuina and An. "For example, Chishiya says his cards were kings. I would have to say mine are queens, kings or aces."

Kuina nods enthusiastically, smiling at her cards. Her body angled away from the rest of the table. "I get it, so how do you know who the winner is."

"The person who gets rid of all their cards first is the winner."

Chishiya hums. "Who's going first?"

"An?" You offer.

"Sure." She smiles, placing down one card. "I have the 7 of diamonds."

"Bullshit." Chishiya spits with a grin the second she finishes her sentence.

You can't stop yourself from laughing at how his face falls when An turns over her card, the 7 of diamonds. "Don't forget to pick it up."

"Go away." He huffs, picking up the card as though it's tainted.

The game passes like that, thankfully no arguments arise despite a near miss when Kuina calls Chishiya a liar because "you're a bad liar your face looks weird when you lie." Only for him to respond with "Your face looks weird all the time but I still believe you when it's necessary."

You'd had so much fun playing, the memory of your sister beside you as you silently remember the way you used to help her cheat at the game against her friends. She would always call you her eyes.

"I have to leave soon." Chishiya whispered as he pulled you aside, Kuina and An still at the table packing up the cards. "I need to be there before I miss my opportunity."

"I know but can't you stay just a little longer?" You ask, fighting the urge to lock him in the bedroom and prevent him from leaving.

"I can't risk not getting a place in the game. I'll be back but I have to leave soon."

"How soon?" You don't need him to answer, the sickening feeling in your stomach tells you what you need to know.

He looks to the floor. "In the next thirty minutes."

You bite the inside of your cheek, not wanting to cry. "Okay."

"Fuck." He huffs, grabbing your wrist. "Come with me."

You let him pull you into the bedroom, waiting until he closes the door to speak. "What's wrong?"

"I'm going to come back but if I don't the generator won't hold out with all three of you using it for an extended period of time. If it comes between saving yourself, Kuina or An you know what to choose."

You ignore the subtlety of his message. "You'll come back it doesn't matter if the generator won't work."

"I will but if I don't."

"But you will." You insist.

"I will."

"Chishiya?" You whisper, taking a step closer.

"Hmm?"

"Can I kiss you?"

He takes a step closer, closing the already small gap between you. "Are you incapable of making your own decisions?"

"No?" You shake your head.

"Then don't ask."

If you could freeze a moment in time this would be it, his hand resting against your hip, albeit awkwardly. His lips pressed against yours, your body ignoring the need for oxygen by supplementing it with a need for him.

He is the one who breaks the kiss, his eyes mapping out your face before smiling a little. "You'll be fine."

"You have to come back."

His tone was definitive. "I will. I should leave now, don't come out until I leave. I'll tell Kuina to come in here." 

You so badly wanted to beg him to stay, the fear that he was walking into his death was almost crushing and despite how final the words felt you'd hate yourself forever if you missed an opportunity to say them. "I love you, please be safe."

"Tell me when this is all over." He places a light kiss on your forehead before extracting himself from your hold and leaving the room. You watch as the door closes behind him, the silence in the room is deafening without him.

You tried so hard to ignore the sound of the front door opening and closing, so so hard, but you couldn't, you couldn't stop yourself from hearing him leave nor stop the tears you'd been holding back since early morning.

He was gone and you, you were truly realising just how lonely the Borderlands were.

[lonkim]

[tokyocyborg]

you got me, baby

are you mine?

[chuova]

𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗈 𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗒 𝗂 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎

𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗈𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗋-𝗏𝗂𝖾𝗐

[yeosangsasskisser]

now playing 2080 ~ mstfz . . . . 📼 ıllı

nijiro murakami birthday moodboard !! ᐢ..ᐢ

spring / summer theme 🌸