#multiplicity adjacent activities

[aspenforest732]

Mortem ad Wrens Chapter 16: We Are Determined to Live and to Die!

Summary:

tw: addiction, elevated gang involvement, suicide, mass murder, grooming, abuse, shortened life expectancy, multiplicity adjacent activities, kidnapping mention Logistics are logicked, plans are explained, and quirks trained

Notes:

Happy Halloween/Samhain! I'm gonna be dressing up as Present Mic for dnd tonight. Next week will include the first art I made of Akira :) Also, Chapter 2 of Memoirs Mori is up! It's an essay Akira will write in book 2 on Forced Quirk Manifestation. Check it out if you want to see how trauma maps to quirks and what the different types look like ‘text’ JSL Text thoughts

Slipping into their room at almost half past midnight, Akira flopped onto the bed and saw over a dozen chat notifications from the Mad Banquet. Koda and Shinso were thriving, although the latter was going through what they called the Eraser Hell Course. Shaking their head at his theatrics, Akira frowned as they scrolled down to Tokoyami being disheartened with his internship, having learned nothing except how self-centered and seemingly unwilling to teach Hawks was. Only Shinso was still online, but Akira sent a quick update that they just got in from patrol and were about to crash. Shinso immediately sent a facetime request, which Akira blearily accepted, barely sitting up enough to sign.

“Hey, how’d your first- woah, our eyes match!”

Akira cocked their head in confusion before remembering that they’d taken their contacts out a bit ago since Taishiro and Amajiki already knew their birth family. ‘Exhausting. I have to more than double my food budget with the plan he said I need, and I don’t know how that’s going to happen. Fat Gum also figured out more than I wanted him to – at least in this phase – and now Purple Moon knows, too.’

“He- I thought you were barely keeping up with Recovery Girl’s?” Shinso switched gears as Aizawa walked into frame.

‘Hi sensei, and I’ll figure it out eventually. I just haven’t had the time to sit down and hammer out more than an unsustainable work/school/sleep balance that’ll set me back too far on that deposit. I have a week to make it work, two if I need to delay continuing the plan.’

“What about those 1000-calorie drinks you sometimes use?”

‘Those are expensive, though. He gave me a bunch of recipes that are meant for a low budget, but they all require electricity to some degree.’

“Did he give you them before or after he… found out?” Shinso asked, drawing Aizawa’s attention. “Then maybe he’ll adjust it tomorrow? If nothing else, I can make you some of the stuff here and bring it to school.”

‘Blank, no. That’s too much. My base intake needs to double, and part of this week is figuring out how much I need to increase my variable snacks to be effective.’ Aizawa choked on his coffee in the background, and Akira stifled a laugh. ‘Besides, you two need to leave soon for patrol; I imagine that’s why Eraser is lurking?’

The next day, Akira found the morning shift in the cafeteria and was quickly spotted by the Diminutive Hero: Mouse. “Hey kid!” the petite hero bounded up. “I’m Mouse, fae/faer pronouns. You must be Umbra Mortis. Not many first years see me on their first day. Let me guess, Class A?”

They nodded, ‘I remember reading about those, but do you know the JSL? I was having trouble finding signs for a lot of neopronouns.’

“Sure thing, kiddo,” Mouse grinned and went through the signs. “They aren’t coded yet, so it varies between people. Kind of like call signs! Fat Gum and Suneater usually aren’t down here for another two hours, so how about you sit with us.”

Gust and Lizarro waved tiredly from the group’s table while nursing coffee mugs.

“What got you up so early this morning? Did Fat Gum forget to give you the schedule? From the shift overview, it sounded like you had an eventful first night.”

‘I’m just used to getting four hours of sleep. Figured I could go back over my new budget I started working on yesterday.’ Noticing Lizarro’s stare, Akira cocked their head, ‘Do you need something?’

“You’re the kid who danced instead of fighting in the quarter-finals at the sports festival, right?”

Akira quirked a small smile, ‘While not accurate, you’re not technically wrong. I didn’t want the media exposure, so approached Pink Queen with an offer of letting her show off an unusual fighting style. She’s been dancing for years and noticed that most people with vocal quirks along with a few outliers move to a beat that can be followed.’

“And since she wouldn’t face a quirk like that, you wanted to show her understanding,” Gust supplied. “Smart move if she was looking for an internship with someone with that type of quirk. Did you get many offers?”

‘I had ten in total, but Fat Gum was the one I was hoping to get the attention of, so it wasn’t much of a choice.’

“Because of your quirk drawback, right? That blonde kid with the copy quirk seemed pretty shaken up about it.”

Why does everyone think that? Akira huffed. ‘That was part of it, yes, to see if he had ideas for better management since his is similar. But the main reason was he’s one of the few heroes with core ideals similar to mine and a track record of consistently upholding them.’

Finishing their breakfast while listening to the group banter about various pros’ codes and – mostly questionable – morals, Akira logged their meal before flipping to their budget again. The thought briefly crossed their mind of convincing Boss to let them be a tester a couple times, but the risk of addiction or serious side effects were too high even for them, not to mention if the drug was picked up by a quirk or a trip to Recovery Girl. Wait. Akira sat up a little straighter as they mentally ran through who had been blacklisted after the USJ incident. We are low on security personnel… While not intimidating on their own, Akira could easily be a cloak in the shadows and eyes in the rafters. They quickly made another chart, grinning as the standard security schedule would get them enough for a security deposit before winter.

“You figure it out, kid?” Lizzaro asked, interrupting Mouse’s rant on the difference between mice and rats.

‘Yeah, I think I can make this work. Just need to pick up some extra responsibilities at work. We’re a little short-staffed, so it shouldn’t take much convincing.’

“That’s great! If you ever need help, though, Fat Gum’s helped all of us out of tight situations before,” Mouse pointed out before faer watch started chiming. “That’s our alarm to get ready for patrol, remember to leave some time for fun, kid.”

Akira blinked, wondering at the idea for a moment before turning their chair against the wall and continuing to encode their notebook. Half an hour into the process, Taishiro and Amajiki came in with the night shift, who mostly grabbed small meals, tea, or presumably decaf coffee. The pair made their way to Akira’s table.

Tucking away their notebook, Akira signed, ‘I figured out the budget. There are some openings that would pay enough to cover food while still putting a bit aside.’

Taishiro smiled gently even as an edge creeped into his voice. “What would you be doing and why are the positions open?”

‘Protection detail. Most likely from the shadows or rafters since Boss will still want me out of harm’s way when possible. Some people were blacklisted after USJ.’

“And if a pro arrives?”

Akira gave him a flat look. ‘I’m not giving you our exit strategies.’ After a moment of Taishiro’s smile turning mildly amused, Akira realized what he meant to ask. ‘Sorry. If it’s Eraser, talk. If it’s any other pro, lead them off.’

Once Taishiro and Amajiki finished breakfast, they headed to the large office. After closing the door, Taishiro guided Akira to a chair, the latter realizing they were shaking. The hero moved back to his desk, pulling out a small bin and offering its contents to Amajiki before heading back to Akira, who was just taking out their texture ball.

“Ah, good, you have one already. I always keep fidget toys in here for harder conversations or days,” Taishiro said gently. “Feel free to continue using that one or peruse the bin as we talk. Now, for today at least, I want to understand why we aren’t moving on the Wrens now and what plan you have.”

Akira unsuccessfully willed their hands to stop shaking as they signed, ‘They have decades old contracts with the Hero Commission and understandings with the Police that protect their status and reputation in both hero and civilian circles. As bad as corruption is among limelights, the Wrens account for most of the cover-ups and blacklisting victims with their teams of lawyers and full support from the Commission as a known producer of powerhouses.

As for my plan…I’ll give you the choice: plausible deniability or reality?’

“The more I know, the more likely I am to be able to help you.”

‘Purple Moon?’ At his firm nod, they continued. ‘Once I get my full license, I’ll be an independent underground hero. I’ll grab one of the young Wren heroes and determine if there’s a way to reverse the memory alteration. If not, I’ll be pretty limited in who I can save, but I’ll still grab as many pre-quirk and “weak” quirked kids as I can, using my associates to help with housing them. Once everyone I can get out is out, I’ll kill the Legacy Holder branch, which is in charge of breeding and breaking memory- and emotion-altering quirks to make the empire more sustainable. If fortune is on my side – which it rarely is – that will end the effects currently over most of the Wren heroes. At that point, it’s a matter of bringing the old guard to justice and preventing mass suicides.’

Akira looked up from their lap to check in before the darker alternative. Amajiki once again looked sick, but Taishiro’s prominent emotion was worry with nearly concealed fury. “And if fortune isn’t on your side?”

‘If the process is reversible, reverse those I can, but… When justice is an impossibility and the crime too great, revenge is the path to take. I would take my army of vigilantes and “villains” and gut the Wrens. The Commission should then be weakened enough for the kids to take them down in a legal battle.’

“The kids?” Amajiki whispered. “What about you?”

Akira blinked. ‘I doubt I’ll make it to 30 with everything that could go wrong. Given that the Wrens will underestimate the kids they practically or literally left for dead, they’ll have a better chance of surviving the war.’

Taishiro quietly observed them for a few minutes before continuing. “If you took out the leaders, would the group not fall?”

‘No, part of the alterations from the differences I’ve seen is convincing the victims that the abuse was justified and doing the right thing. They will just continue because they were programmed to not know better. They won’t face justice because they’re so ingrained in the justice system, and if I target the Hero Commission and police first, I’ll effectively be facing all of Japan. Anything I expose on their end will be refuted by the family, and they can easily bring in the Legacy Holder branch to turn witnesses and victims.’

“What if you target the Legacy Holders then the Commission?”

‘If I move on the Wrens, I have to keep them on the defensive because they have the quirks to find me once they realize I’m alive and taking revenge. Giving them the time it would take to go after the Commission would also give them the time to make an excuse to obliterate whatever building I’m in along with my followers.’

“Sounds like you need some people on your side, then. Many of the twilight and underground heroes are unhappy with the state of the Commission and have been for a long time. You’ll need people to help evaluate your first target, right? I know some, and we can help with stable environments for the kids you bring.”

Akira nodded, deciding not to bring up Plan B for now, at least. ‘Twilight and Underground only, though, and I want to watch them before they know any part of this. If word gets out, the Wrens will not hesitate to kill anyone they think might be associated with their secrets.’

The somber mood followed the trio to the training rooms after Akira finished encoding their notes and destroying the keys and plain text. ‘When I warped to the lamp post, I noticed a new shadow next to me in my mindscape.’

“Next to you?” Suneater asked.

‘Yeah? I was standing in my neutral space, and a figure made of shadow appeared next to me.’ Akira paused. ‘Do you not see in first person in your mindscape?’

“I… don’t see anything. I know what I have, but it’s just black.”

“Let’s start with you warping, then, and see if the shadow figure is back,” Taishiro suggested. “You can text me while invisible, so we have a line of communication.”

Akira nodded and warped a meter to the side and, closing their eyes to focus, once again saw the shadow figure. They texted “it’s back” to Taishiro before refocusing. Circling the figure, Akira noted that it looked like someone had taken a silhouette of them and made it 3D. They reached out to touch the figure, but their hand passed through with a sensation not unlike petting Dark Shadow.

“It twitched,” Fat Gum called out.

Interesting, I wonder…Akira stepped into the shadow figure and moved into a defensive position. A deep feeling of wrongness settled in their gut, and they quickly stepped out.

“Keep doing what you just did, it changed position.”

Akira opened their eyes to see the clone now in the pose they took. They texted Fat Gum, “Something felt very wrong when I tried to step into the figure to control it, but it moved as I did.”

“The first few times I transformed a body part, it felt unnatural and almost wrong,” Suneater said softly. “It might be the unfamiliarity.”

After a moment, Akira texted that they were going to warp again to see if anything changed when they had two clones active. With Fat Gum’s go-ahead, they noticed that the first figure split into two. Closing their eyes, Akira touched the connecting thread of shadow and startled at the distinct thrum of energy. Slowly reaching their hand back in, they grasped the tendril and felt what was almost like two additional pulses harmonizing with their own.

Even as they stepped back from the connection, they felt the pulses remain. Breath hitching, they quickly dispelled the clones. The pulses faded out slower than the clones, echoing in their chest.

“Are you alright?” Fat Gum approached, eyes searching their frame.

Akira shuddered before nodding, ‘Just… a bizarre feeling. It was like when Pink Queen and I synched up at the sports festival, but I could feel the two pulses.’

“Okay, do you want to slow down or keep going?”

For the rest of the session, Akira focused on getting used to the connection with clones and forming it with only one active. Mentally stepping into a clone still didn’t seem like a good primary control method, but they were at least moving in the right direction. Once it seemed Akira wasn’t being a danger to themself, Suneater started his own training routine, focusing primarily on his arms for the day at least.

Notes:

fun fact: I actually have hyperphantasia, which is like the opposite of aphantasia, which I gave Amajiki. I can see all the things in my head and my other senses often interact with them. Great for learning what injuries feel like, horrible when the same activates involuntarily I was double-checking the trigger warning edits for this chapter and registered the “multiplicity-adjacent activities.” Hadn’t really thought about how I picture Stranger quirks working that way, but makes sense. In order to differentiate control mechanisms from Masters and Changers, I set up how I picture each of them being represented in the user’s mindscape. For Masters, are usually strings leading to the people they control or their summons. Amajiki’s description is standard for Changers, although those without aphantasia can see their options, a switch, or some other on/off visualization. Additional note: yeah so I didn't know I'm host of a DID system at the time of writing this. Akira is a bit system-coded between that and her masks being somewhat based off Shallan in Stormlight Archives, who is also canonically a system (forgot about that when I was drawing inspiration)

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[here-there-were-dragons]

i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that

[wastinawaaay]

jason todd does not need new friends new team new costume new romantic plot he just needs a fucking decent writer

[prokopetz]

I'm fascinated by the Knights in Tight Spaces demo for what can potentially be taken away from it for the tabletop – less in terms of the deckbuilding stuff, and more in terms of its asymmetric action economy.

Basically, the structure of each round of combat is as follows:

Each NPC moves – typically either one or two squares in cardinal directions, though some NPCs move in other ways – and chooses a facing.

Player characters do their thing, spending action points from fixed pools to perform a variety of tactical manoeuvres and attacks.

Finally, each NPC performs a deterministic action based on their final position and facing; in the simplest case, this is "deal your damage to whatever is in the adjacent square you're facing".

In a hypothetical tabletop context, this creates a environment where the players and the GM are functionally playing different games. The players have this whole complex action economy with multiple semi-independent resource pools to engage with, but the GM has no resources to track beyond making sure each NPC gets to move, and the only choices they make are where to position their playing-pieces.

It's certainly not offering any magic-bullet solutions to the traditional problems faced by games that want the GM to be an active player, but this sort of totally asymmetrical action economy feels like it could be a fruitful avenue to explore for solutions to the problem of overwhelming the GM with options because they have to simultaneously direct half-a-dozen characters while each player only has to deal with their own.

[tau1tvec]

Some tips for The Sims 3 Buy/Build

Install LazyDuchess’ Smooth Patch to alleviate lag, esp in Buy/Build and CAS.

Keep your CC merged and organized, esp your patterns, this will also alleviate a lotta lag across all modes.

When building on community lots, or any lot rlly, avoid going to the edit world menu, and just put testingcheats enabled into the cheat window, then shift+click the ground of the lot to enter Buy/Build mode. This makes leaving it to save a lot easier, with less “preparing” screens to possibly get hung up in.

Lower your settings, you don’t need any adjacent lots loaded, and you certainly don’t need super water on either. You can always switch these back on when you’re done.

While you’re at it, remove your HQ mod, and turn off your Reshade/Gshade preset, or at least turn off your depth shaders. I only ever turn on my depth shaders when I’m taking screenshots for better fps while playing. The DoF shader esp requires a lotta resources your game could be using to simulate all those 78 townie sims instead.

Save as… vs Save, I Save as… at least every third save. It’s also just good habit to keep backups.

When using the CASt tool, set down everything you plan to CASt first, then switch to a category like the wall tool to avoid eventual lag and drag when using it a lot. Love yourself. You don’t have to suffer using CASt tool in an overpopulated category like misc deco.

Utilize the clone option through testing cheats to duplicate already CASted objects, it’ll keep your design just like the dropper tool, but it’s a lot less time consuming, I promise.

Don’t be afraid to use the swatch save tool for objects you use often, esp community lot objects, as it helps to keep your aesthetic consistent. I also keep all of my favorite streetlamps, benches, and public trash bins etc in a convenient custom collection folder to speed up the process of doing multiple lots in one sitting. These handy tools are there, use them.

The issue with custom counters. They mess up sometimes, if you can’t recolor it suddenly, here’s how to fix that. Now if you can’t place down a cupboard suddenly, even though nothing’s in the way, and you’ve got moveobjects on activated, try putting it on the wall a tile over, and then try adding it to your desired spot again. Lastly if you set down counters or cupboards at a corner, and it messes up the textures, but you can still recolor it, you could do what the video I linked above does, or you could simply pull out the CASt tool, and switch it back to any of its original swatches and click the check, then feel free to recolor it as you want.

Railings will also do the “can’t recolor” trick too, but this is a simple fix, just delete it, and replace it, and you’re good.

“Oh no, I switched between buy and build mode, and now my catalogue won’t load, and I can’t click on anything at all!” Don’t panic, hit F2 and/or F3 on your keyboard, these are shortcuts for switching between them, and if you’re lucky it’ll load properly again. Should you get the bug where you load a category and it’s somehow empty, don’t fret, just click on a different category and this should fix it. Then if you get the bug where all the objects you put down disappear suddenly, sorry your game is haunted. Call an exorcist, or just reload, they might reappear if you do.

Tbh, if you run into any kind of major bugs, it’s likely a sign to either save immediately or just restart your game. These only ever show up when you’ve been at it a while ( at least for me ), therefore starting fresh wouldn’t hurt. Probably also wouldn’t hurt to check whether you might’ve installed something the game didn’t agree with by running Dashboard, or put it through the ol’ Save Cleaner.

Honorable Mention: Keep an eye on the texture sizes and poly counts of objects. I know it’s tempting to build these ultra hyperrealistic lots with clutter at every inch, but unless you’re just doing it for screenshots, or for your story, or using it very sparingly, it is not by any means recommended purely for gameplay. This is just the truth when it comes to any Sims game. You don’t want lag, or max memory crashes, or save errors? The Sims 3 is a 32bit game, that’s almost old enough to drive, be easy on it.

[bring-backup-99]

They Will Not See

Read on AO3

Am I in a bad way about Season 3 and the finale? Yes.

PAIRING: tech x fem reader

SUMMARY: You spend a sweet, unexpected night in bed with Tech.

WORDS COUNT: 1274

RATING + WARNINGS: 18+, spicy, porn with minimal plot, PiV

NOTES: This is installment eighteen of my reverse harem “Bad Choices” smutlet series on Ao3, but I think it’s also a sweet, intimate stand-alone Tech story. And I do love Tech losing a little of his control, especially since he’s kind of Dom in the series.

Although it’s written in second person, my heroine has a very established relationship with the Batch.

Tech watches you sleep. This is a recent development.

Usually, he would disentangle himself and leave the bed as soon as you drifted off, staying that long only because he knows you enjoy not falling asleep alone. He has spent his entire life sleeping in close proximity to one or more people, so he understands the general idea that this might be comforting. Tech can fall asleep anywhere, under almost any conditions. He has never accidentally fallen asleep, at least not since he was a cadet, but, when circumstances allow, he can just pass out. He overheard someone on an extended mission refer to him as the king of the power nap, which he took as a compliment.

You have always rested on Tech in casual moments; physical contact clearly being one of the ways you show affection. Touch has never been important to Tech. He has never had the need to show anyone affection or have it shown to him. In his life, he has categorized touch as negative or neutral. The addition of sex as physical intimacy has expanded the categories slightly. The touch associated with sex is usually positive. He certainly enjoys the physical sensations he experiences during sexual activities, and he understands that touch pre- and post- said activities is something you need, but it was not something he previously thought about for himself.

With the regular addition of multiple partners to your intimate activities, and their own needs for your attention, the idle time you spend with him has diminished, and, to his surprise, he misses that. He also finds that when he returns to the bedroom and sees you sleeping intertwined with someone, there is an unfamiliar feeling present. He wouldn’t call it jealousy, because he has never previously experienced that emotion, but he might acknowledge that it could be adjacent to that on an emotional spectrum.

So, he watches you, considering, then he puts down his datapad and stays next to you, your head resting on his shoulder. After a few minutes, your body fully turns and presses to him, your arm on his chest. He decides this is not a neutral touch and recategorizes it as positive, and then he falls asleep.

*

You are dreaming. Tech is kissing your neck, and his hand is cradling your head. He’s whispering soft words to you as he nuzzles your ear. You don’t understand what he is saying, but you can tell that the words are sweet.

For a moment, you feel bad; this must be Wrecker or maybe Hunter, but you refuse to wake up, instead basking in the gentle touch of someone who rarely touches you gently. You don’t remember either of them being there, but Tech doesn’t stay in bed with you.

Dream Tech kisses you, pressing his lips to yours before you open your mouth to him and wrap your arms around his shoulders. You hear your name whispered with such a tone that your whole body shivers.

A knee nudges between your legs, parting them slightly, and then another spreads you open, and his body is flush to your own. A strong arm nestles to one side of your head, and you finally open your eyes, ready to let the dream go, to stop this nighttime lover before it goes too far. But it’s still Tech above you, his eyes partly closed, and you feel an unexpected excitement and warmth course through your body. You pull his face down to yours to kiss him more, your fingertips running through his short hair, against the strap that keeps his goggles a permanent part of his face, like Wrecker’s scar and Hunter and Crosshair’s tattoos.

As he begins to slide into you, you softly cry out his name into his ear. He stops for a moment, as if confused, and you wonder if he thought he was dreaming as well. At least it was your name he called out. His eyes are fully open now, looking at you. You smile and tip your hips up to encourage him to continue. Another moment passes and then he is buried inside you.

He’s moving slowly, almost hesitant. It’s been a long time since someone was in your bed who could initiate the dreamy fun of middle-of-the-night sex, and maybe Tech has never done this at all, considering he rarely even falls asleep in your bed. Would he have slept in others’?

But it feels so good. So nice. So satisfying. His body is against yours, his strokes long and careful, and when he fills you, he presses in just a little more, and you murmur at the pleasure of it. You could do this all night, whispering encouragement in his ear, telling him how you never want this to stop, how good it feels. You squeeze yourself around his cock, gratified to hear him make a small sound of satisfaction, moving your hips to meet him. Your arms wrap around him, feeling those strong muscles in his back, feeling his ass tighten as he pushes into you.

He’s different, his breath catching more right now than when he is pounding into you. He hooks your leg over his arm, finding an angle to be deeper into you. He stays like this, rolling his hips against you as you moan in ecstasy.

Eventually, he has to stop, holding himself still as he tries to control himself, but you can tell he’s close. You move under him, tightening around him in tantalizing pulses, pressing him into you, not letting him collect himself enough to halt his body.

“Wait,” he whispers to you. “I will finish too soon.”

“No,” you answer. “I want you to come.” You keep moving against him, feeling his resolve giving way.

“But you…you have not…”

“It’s okay. This feels so good. I don’t want to change it. Come in me like this.” And you want him to lose a little of his usual control. He looks into your eyes before giving in.

His pace picks up slightly, as you push against him, your fingers raking along his back, your teeth finding his shoulder. His lips are to yours, muffling his moan as he starts to come, pumping inside of you.

You cry out in shared bliss, holding him tight, your legs wrapped around his, riding every wave, until his face is nuzzled against your own, his breaths against your neck.

*

You lie on his chest, his arm around you. You thought he’d fall right back to sleep, but you can feel the wakefulness in his body. You stroke your fingers against his chest, then absentmindedly lick his nipple.

“Mmph,” he groans in surprise, catching your hand in his. He turns his head slightly to you. “I feel that I have left a task incomplete.”

“Tech,” you laugh. “I’m not an item on a checklist…or are you concerned about your perfect record?” He rolls his eyes, but you can tell you’re partly correct. “Do I seem any less satisfied to you than at other times?” He has no response. “Then leave it…Or leave it til morning. Let me just enjoy this.” You feel his body relax slightly in acquiescence.

Yes, you want to soak this up. A few hours of soft Tech, with sex no less intense or satisfying because he wasn’t rough with you – with his strong, naked body against you, and his attention not diverted by his datapad. You don’t want to fall asleep yet, but slowly his warmth and steady breathing lull your eyes to close.

In the morning, he ticks off that final box on his checklist before he leaves.

*

The rest of the series can be found here.

Warning: It gets kinky.

[probablyasocialecologist]

Solar farms don’t just have to be about low carbon electricity, they could also help reverse biodiversity decline. Under appropriate management and the right policies, solar farms have the potential to deliver benefits for nature and climate. Our team’s research on solar farms across the UK shows that these energy facilities can boost local pollinator populations and enhance pollination services to adjacent crops. For instance, managing solar farms as wildflower meadows can benefit bumblebee foraging and nesting, while larger solar farms can increase pollinator densities in surrounding landscapes compared to smaller sites managed as turf grass. Solar farms have been found to boost the diversity and abundance of certain plants, invertebrates and birds, compared to that on farmland, if solar panels are integrated with vegetation, even in urban areas. Solar farms can also deliver multiple “ecosystem services” in addition to biodiversity conservation, including food production and support for rural activities such as recreation. Yet, as with any changes, there will be winners and losers. Some species, such as bats, find it harder to forage for insects and travel along protected corridors of habitat due to to the presence of solar farms. The jury is still out on whether solar farms change the soil’s capacity to store carbon. With clearer understanding of how different species respond to the presence of solar farms, the design, location and management of these facilities can be adapted accordingly to benefit nature. Solar farms may challenge some deeply held perceptions in the UK of a cultural “green” countryside dotted with lush farmlands in which wildlife co-exist in apparent harmony with human-dominated land uses. However, centuries of agricultural intensification have pushed several species and habitats to the brink in the UK, a nation that’s been highlighted as one of the most nature-depleted countries in the world.

12 August 2024

[kedreeva]

I have a question. I have a very senior mouse (got her in May 2022 from a pet store, unsure of how old she was then). She originally had 4 sisters that she lived with but the last of them passed. I know it isn't ideal to keep one mouse, but due to living situations I'm not in a position to start a new colony. Is there anything I can do for enrichment to keep her happy? She has lots of places to climb and burrow, multiple hides, gnawing sticks, toys, and a wheel she adores. I hand feed her a seed a few times a day and spend time adjacent to her (she's never been a fan of handling). She eats well and is active but I worry about her long-term.

Most likely she was 4-8 weeks old if the pet store was getting them shipped in from a large breeding facility. That's very old for a mouse- the oldest mouse I have personally witnessed was 2 years and 4 months old at the time I saw him (birth date tracked at a research facility so I know it was accurate to within a few days). So you're doing well!

You have most of the bases covered. The only thing I can think to add would be scent-based enrichment (safe herbs/grasses/flowers, safe leaves from trees outside, if there's someone else you trust their husbandry that has mice, something small from their mice like a used chew that she could smell, etc). Soft hides like hammocks, and varying her offered nest material (different sizes/colors of krinkle paper, pulped cotton, tissues/paper towels/napkins in various textures, dried grasses, tissue paper, cardboard etc), are good enrichment.

They also slowly lose the ability to thermoregulate, so giving her a warm spot in the cage like with a small heat source may help improve her QoL as she gets ancient. I wouldn't use a light because that screws up their light cycle but you can get a small piece of reptile heat tape for a few bucks and use aluminum tape to tape it under her cage or along the side. For safety it should be used with a thermostat, and double check with the manufacturer before purchase to ensure it's ok if your cage is plastic not glass.

[kisakis-boyfriend]

May I request something with dragon Freminet? I’m not… entirely sure how do to this, but a friend introduced me to the concept and it won’t leave me alone now. Dragony boy, like Neuvilette- or maybe Yanfei would be a more apt comparison, for a part human one. Something soft if possible? Headcanons or some sort of scenarjo

Dragon Freminet

Pairings: Freminet x reader

Warnings: GN!reader, Dragon!Freminet, all fluff + a tiny bit of hurt/comfort

Genre/Format: Fluff; Headcannons

Author's Note: Oooohh Dragon Freminet is a cute idea! I took a few liberties with his design, though he is still depicted as mostly human. I hope you enjoy these, anon :3

Please check my blog title to verify whether requests are closed or not! Thank you!

Cryo Dragon Freminet who's such a sensitive soul. He's only capable of partially understanding human emotions, though when he does feel them they hit him hard. Overwhelming waves of sadness, joy, despair, anxiety, or love that empty his mind of anything else

Oftentimes you're the only person who can help him deal with these emotions. Helping him through bouts of despair or profound sadness, sometimes prompted by insignificant things such as accidentally dropping something. It's enough to bring forth a flood of tears from the poor boy, but you're more than willing to help him

You'll reassure him of his worth, tell him over and over again that he is not a failure. Remind him of how strong he is while cupping his freckled cheeks, kiss his pretty lips and nose until that smile that you love so much comes back

Dragon Freminet who is the biggest cuddle monster of them all. Especially when he has a loving partner to cuddle up with! He basks in your warmth and comfort whenever you're kind enough to indulge his needs. With arms wrapped around his torso and your legs tangled with his, resting underneath his favorite blanket that his Father gifted him, Freminet purrs from deep within his chest

It's a deep rumbling unlike anything else in this world. The content (or distressed/threatening) sounds of an elemental dragon can influence a human's emotions, causing the human to either feel complete relief and safety or fear/terror, if the dragon is threatening them

Dragon Freminet who's embarrassed by your endless stream of compliments about his draconic features. You ask him to open his mouth a bit so that you can catch a peak of his terribly sharp fangs, carefully tapping their points with the pad of your thumb as you admire them. Or staring into his gorgeous blue eyes, memorizing the swirls of multiple colours mixed in

Even finding the time to coo about how cool his true form looks! While Freminet is quite small compared to other dragons and dragon adjacent beings, he is massive compared to humans, easily towering over you like a god. You stare up at him during one of the rare moments when he actually reveals his true form, wide-eyed and unable to move in pure awe at the sight of your boyfriend before you

Dragon Freminet who adores winter activities, as most of them make him feel connected to his element, cryo. He begs you to play in the snow with him, or to teach you how to ice skate! You do have to remind him that your human body can't withstand the cold in the same way that his can though...yours needs breaks to warm back up unless you want to get sick...

And Freminet will happily oblige, bringing you back inside and hugging you tightly to help you warm up. He'll breathe on your icy hands and envelope them within his own, covering your fingers with his until your skin is pleasantly warm. If he's feeling particularly bold Freminet might pull you closer and breathe down your neck, hot puffs of breath that cause you to warm up incredibly quick, especially your cheeks

Dragon Freminet who keeps multiple hordes of items. Collecting different mechanical parts and scraps that catch his eye, broken down gardemeks, gears, and children's toys that are no longer on the market. He also has a more intimate horde of things related to you in some way. Things that you give him, trinkets he thinks you would like, even a few things from your past that you gifted to him specifically for this collection. These things are his most precious treasures, besides you of course. You'll always be his number one treasure 💙

Reblogs are extremely appreciated <3

[wanderh3art]

i am too communist for syscourse bullshit.

even if the coexistence of multiple beings in one body ONLY exists as a biological reaction to chronic stress—a colonial imperialist viewpoint—it is counterproductive to gatekeep plurality on that basis

humans bodies are specialized for community and play. human bodies are NOT specialized to do labor for multiple hours every day. human bodies are NOT specialized to live under the "work or die" paradigm.

there is not a being alive on this planet not feeling some of the environmental stress of living in a world undergoing a manmade mass extinction event

and the vast majority of people i know are struggling to make ends meet. pressure is building, it's been building for awhile.

depression is rampant, and still undercounted. given how many people actively lie to therapists i think it's no joke fair to say the vast majority of people in my country, especially same age peers, are dealing with a chronic anxiety disorder and/or mood disorder

and we've all been going through it since we were young, right? how many of us had friends who were and are fully okay? chronic stress, anxiety, and/or depression since childhood are literally traumatizing.

in the united states, children have no rights. the american education system is traumatizing by design. it teaches youth how to be deprived of rights.

"but multiplicity is an extremely rare phenomenon"

Nope, it isn't. It simply isn't. Even by official metrics (which are always undercounts when it comes to stigmatized diagnoses), DID diagnoses are more common than red hair.

Psychistry lied. Psychiatry stigmatized plurality as a part of its colonial agenda to police ideas of self, body, and spirituality that don't fit into the western imperial dogma of One Self One Reason One God But Don't Think About That Last One Too Hard.

so listen. i don't actually give a fuck about scientific research into the "etiology" of my existence as a being, i find that offensive and adjacent to eugenics in mindset.

why am i here? well you see i'm an ex-imaginary shadow siren. i came here through the television while my then 5yo host was playing the thousand year door, i used to be an imaginary friend made out of shadows, i can operate in shared reality and also hold these beliefs about my self concept, it's not impossible.

HOWEVER.

even IF i thought there was a legitimate line of inquiry to be made into the "etiology" of multiple beings existing in one body

where is the untraumatized control group?

first off, you cannot accurately control for trauma or for particular types of trauma in this world. you just can't.

even if you could somehow only survey very honest people, i have had more than one clinician literally ignore me about not having had certain kinds of trauma and tell me that i must have experienced that trauma bc i'm multiple. so how the fuck can we trust these people's data on what causes multiplicity and plurality?

second off, everyone is traumatized. psychiatry and pop psychiatry lied about there being a meaningful divide between weak victims and resilient survivors too. - Vivian 🔥

[mollish-art]

What is Generation Loss: Unperson?

Unperson is a Generation Loss AU written, illustrated, and narrated by yours truly!

The story begins as canon-adjacent to Generation 1 (the first chapter, Savior's Stigmata, is technically a prologue, in that it takes place during the events of episode three of The Social Experiments). In chapters 2 and onwards, the cast of TSE begin an adventure anew.

Showfall Media has revolutionized the field of interactive entertainment. In Hetch's Social Experiments, this entertainment took the form of three consecutive livestreams, which the audience could actively participate in and, ultimately, decide the fate of the Hero [i.e. Generation 1 of Generation Loss]. Now, Showfall Media is proud to bring you entertainment through an even more immersive medium: video games.

Anathema Annihilation is Showfall's most innovative use of "Phantoptics" technology to date: a video game where one's choices really matter and actively impact the world we live in.

Charlie awakens in a new environment and with a new purpose as the face of the beta tester's Hero avatar. Elsewhere, Ranboo has been revived, reprogrammed, and repurposed with a new face of his own: a biomechanical, bestial antagonist known as "The Devourer".

The player character - the Hero (who we know to be Charlie) - joins forces with a helpful non-player Companion (Sneeg) to eliminate a wide range of enemies - known as "Anathemas" - across multiple levels, each culminating with a fight against a powerful boss: an "Abomination".

Depending on the player's Variant choice, the theme (and therefore appearance and ability mechanics) of the Anathemas, as well as the Hero and Companion classses, changes.

Regardless of the player's Variant choice, however, the Abominations always remain the same: previous cast members who have been previously rejected by an audience and have been revived and repurposed as biomechanical monstrosities.

As the Hero and Companion progress through the levels of Anathema Annihilation, their minds become increasingly plagued by questions concerning their memories, free will, and grasp of reality. But they are not the only ones cursed with introspection; the Devouerer, too, clings desperately on to whatever shreds of humanity it still possesses, and seeks, above all else, to avenge its friends.

...

Now that you have a brief synopsis of the world and premise of Unperson, if you are so inclined, you can read the available chapters here or check out the in-universe website I created for it!

On the website, you can find additional lore, concept art, links to all currently available chapters (as well as audiobook adaptations of all of them, narrated by the author), themed playlists, and a fanworks feature page (showcasing some of the fanart and cosplay that you guys have made for this story)!

I am always open to Tumblr asks if you have any further questions!

Please note that Unperson is currently on a bit of a hiatus, however, as I am in graduate school and must focus on my academics before working on this AU. It will be completed - I promise you that! I have plans for the rest of the story, as well as more art and such on the way. Patience is key ;)

Here are the currently available chapters:

That's all for now, folks! Remember to check out the official website as well as my Unperson Youtube Playlist, which contains speedpaints for all of the chapter art as well as the audiobook adaptation!

Lastly, if you'd like to keep up to date on this project or share your feedback, follow or post on the #UnpersonGL tag!

[rabnerd28]

Chronicling the Cats Broadway Revival Lifts

Hey, you know how we joke that you could make a drinking game out of all the lifts that they do in the Broadway Revival? Don’t do it. You will die of alcohol poisoning before the Jellicle Ball.

4:54 Electra, Victoria and Tantomile are all lifted during the "Heaviside Layer" line of Jellicle Songs for Jellicles Cats (3)

9:20 Electra and Tantomile during Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats. (2)

9:28 Not a lift, but Tanto, Victoria and Electra are swung forward across the floor. Doesn’t count but I’m marking vaguely lifting actions.

14:41 Sillabub is lifted in the background at the start of Invitation. There might be more cats being lifted but my bootleg is mostly focused on the main cats for each number. (1)

14:50 Not even a full 10 seconds later, Sillabub and another cat (I think it’s Tantomile) are lifted again. (2)

18:45 Coricopat and Skimbleshanks lift Jenny so that a ball can go under her (1)

19:39 Bomba and Demeter grab Jenny and slide her across the large sports balls. (Side note: I really fucking hate the balls. Why are they in this number???)

23:28 Tumble and Plato lift Victoria and Tugger walks under her. (1)

22:36 Rumpleteazer, Demeter and Victoria are all lifted (3)

23:40 Victoria and Tanto are flung forward and then flung back.

24:05 Electra, Tantomile, Victoria and Rumpleteazer are held on at their armpits as they drop so that they would be flat on their faces if their partners weren’t holding them, followed by said partners lifting them off the ground and spinning them. I’m counting it. (4)

24:32 Tantomile and Victoria are spun on the ground and then lifted by cats right after. (2)

26:08 Sillabub, Victoria and Electra are mid cartwheel when their partners (Mungojerrie, Plato and Pouncival (?)) grab them and slow them down. Tantomile is then lifted by Coricopat. (1)

All lift adjacent behaviors are forgiven for Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. What’s not forgiven is how literal the choreography is.

39:25 We went almost a full fifteen minutes. Coricopat lifts Tantomile when they first sense Old Deuteronomy. (1)

39:34 Once again, Tanto is lifted by Cori. (1)

40:14 Tanto climbs on Cori’s back and Victoria climbs on Plato’s and they are lifted. (2)

43:15 Victoria is lifted by Alonzo, Tanto is lifted by Cori (?). (2)

45:07 Mungojerrie lifts Rumpleteazer onto the stage, same for Cori and Tanto. They then lift them both again to go behind Old Deuteronomy. Followed by another lift after those. (6)

45:22 Munkustrap carries Victoria out to the front of the stage, then hand her to Plato, who lifts her, alongside Sillabub being lifted by Tumble (3)

46:23 Tumble lifts Sillabub (1)

46:40 Victoria, Electra and Tanto are all lifted by multiple cats. (3)

47:06 Several cats are supported during their arabesques

48:20 Teazer, Tanto, Sillabub and Victoria are all lifted, followed by Victoria being lifted a second time (5)

49:40 Electra, Demeter, Victoria, Tanto and Teazer are all lifted pretty much upside down (5)

50:18 Plato picks up Victoria for a little run lift thing, followed by carrying her as she does a cartwheel. (2)

50:29 Tanto, Teazer, Sillabub, Bombalurina (her first lift) and Victoria are lifted. Everyone but Vicky gets lifted a second time. (9)

51:33 Vicky gets lifted twice for the Pas de Deux (2)

52:58 Tanto is lifted (1)

54:16 Sillabub and Electra are both lifted twice (4)

55:16 Tanto and Tori are lifted…twice in a row (4)

55:50 Tanto, Tori, Teazer and Sillabub (4)

56:09 Tori, Tanto, Sillabub (3)

56:23 You know, Victoria’s big lift would be really impressive if we didn’t just see 100 of them before it (1)

I’m surprised they didn’t work a lift into Memory

At intermission we have 79 lifts…I am loosing my goddamn mind. I am actively crying from how funny this is.

1:36:48 Victoria and Electra were flung forward

1:49:25 Victoria is lifted. I thought we were going to make it through the whole second act without one, but nope. (1)

We end with a total of 80 lifts.

[cinghialefedele]

Sometimes I think about how writing Arrancar is NOT for the weak.

They're a Latino-adjacent minority race, and suffer many very real struggles, like the colonization from both Shinigami and Quincies alike. Often written off as a savage race of people, or animalistic monsters.

They're seen as stupid by other characters bc they don't have access to the education that living folks/Shinigami/Quincy have, bc Hueco Mundo is an isolated place and Hollows aren't allowed to go to the living world or Shinigami (and Quincies) will kill/eradicate/"cleanse" them if they do leave.

Their canon strength is only used to further the plot but only when they're antagonists, otherwise, they're cannon fodder for Shinigami and Quincies, too, which makes writing fights something I personally avoid, bc no one seems to take their power seriously anymore.

They're oversexualized by the wrong people, and it's shown in how often Arrancar writers get sexual anons compared to Quincy/Shinigami writers (this doesn't include my friends who ASK me before sending sexual asks, but on Tesla's account alone, we have seen multiple times over the years how some anons have really gone too far).

Idk...just, as an Afro-Latino myself, sometimes I really wince and grimace at the ways some people write about Arrancar, ic and ooc. The amount of times people have gotten upset w me for my Arrancar muses calling their muses colonizers or racists for legitimately racist or biased shit their muses have said or done just boggles my mind.

The Arrancar are clearly an oppressed minority, and in tybw they are ALSO experiencing an active genocide. They're entitled to call your muses out on their biased behaviors.

[cygnusdoesthings]

Case File 081: The Unmasking of the Aussie Anon

(Catalogue by Det. C. DoesThings)

Case Description:

On July 12th, 2024, 0108 (AEST), CygnusDoesThings received a message from an anonymous asker, claiming that they were Australian. CygnusDoesThings then proceeded to try to figure out the identity of this Australian Anon- often shortened to Aussie Anon.

From there, multiple people have joined the case as we have investigated.

This is a long post. You have been warned. It may be a little overwhelming. I will reblog this post with status updates.

Investigators:

@cygnusdoesthings (Codename: Cyg or Cygnus) as Lead Detective

@igotthisaccountunderduress (Codename: Iggy or Rosie) as Assistant Detective

@quotidian-oblivion (Codename: Quo or Quotidian) as Lead Investigator, Organizer, and Catering

Involved Suspects and Identities being Interrogated;

@brb-on-a-quest (Codename: Birb) as scribe,

@walkthruthewords (Codename unknown) as Birb's Mutual (Adjacent Role: Lawyer)

@gracefulchristiangirl (Codename: Gracie) as informant.

Jury Members (If you wish to not be involved, feel free to message me and let me know!)

@auroraofthesun1 (Codename: Aurora)

@book-girl4eva (Codename: Bea)

@thomasstaples (Codename: Thomas)

@myfairkatiecat (Codename: Katie)

Suspects Ruled Out (or not): (unless proven guilty)

Katadastical (Australian, Cyg's Mutual) (i think i got a message from her or smth, not her)

dsabian (They/Them). Has been following along most posts. Just I think likes observing (tags).

MispeltNostoglia (Australian, Cyg's Mutual) (Lack of Activity)

Iggy (Being Canadian) (And this)

foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego (Evie) (Fitting Criteria)

ah0yh0y (Fitting Criteria) (Denial)

ko1e (Mutual, Australian) (Hasn't done Anything on Tumblr. Like. At All)

its-stairs-time (Stairs) (Aussie Quo Mutual) (Unlikely)

the-echos-error (Echo) (Aussie Quo Mutual) (Unlikely)

foineswoine (Pigeon) (Aussie Quo Mutual) (Unlikely)

godsenther (hasn't responded lmao)

brb-on-a-quest (Birb) (Still a Major Player) (but unlikely to be culprit)

gracefulchristiangirl (Gracie) (Still a major player)

periwinkle-the-11th (Codename: Peri). Has been following along, and has been online at the exact times of the anon asks. I have not yet pulled her into this investigation, but it is worth keeping an eye on her. (American.)

Assistants: N/A.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon Asks so Far

Original. The catalyst. If you want to see how this all happened, this is a good place to start.

Unrelated (Anon 2). Thank you for the well-wishes.

Mysterious Anon Maybe That I'm Just Realising Probably Was The Red Herring. Birb sent a reblog that outlined that we missed a red herring. My theory is that we missed this.

Anon Mentioning The Involvement of Gracie. This is... Incredibly suspicious. Gracie has inserted herself into this case (btw i totally do not mind, we have fun here), and has brought to our attention.. several other suspects.

Gracie In Disguise (Evidence: here)

Matching Fish Posting: Birb, Quo, Cyg, Walking. Fishy Anon is not innocent; but also not necessarily Aussie Anon. We need to find out who they are. (I'm pretty sure it's Gracie.)

Informant, possible code anon. Focusing on the capital letters. Code yet to be deciphered.

(right in front of you) (Binary Anon)

Series of asks, from an unknown (presumably) The Original Aussie.

Series of asks from the original Aussie Anon. Focusing on the capital letters. Code yet to be deciphered. Knows my status on discord. Possible leak.

1 (Do people lie on the internet?)

2 (A Fan of Fans)

3 (Well-Wishes from An Anon)

4 (Akabura Western Hats)

5 (Straight Shootin’)

6 (Are Hints the Norm?)

7 (a swing and a miss.)

15th July, 2024 asks:

1 (Along the Way)

2 (Still Figuring it Out?)

3 (Blind)

Binary Anon and Binary Anon Poem

Jury Anon

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suspects:

Birb. Sent by someone to give us a red herring. Who sent (i dont know what your pronouns are) Birb? They at least have possibly connections to whoever sent the message, and we would love to know who did, under what circumstances, and, most of all, how to contact them.

Update: Birb is the Red Herring Anon, and the Sending Information anon, but not the Aussie Anon. Evidence.

walkthruthewords. A mootal lawyer. Is kept in the loop, but seems.. suspicious. Met with cooperation, but passed the blame to Gracie.

Update: Involvement as an mooterny only.

Gracie. Possible ally. Will need to interrogate further regarding fishy anon asks and the ask about who she tagged. But.. very suspicious. Multiple people involved with the Innocence Ask have pointed to her, as well as the Fish Ask itself.

@godsenther. Has not yet responded. Aussie. Recently made a personal Tumblr account. Is in the server I posted updates to. Knows me on Discord. Can be cryptic as hell.

And one other.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Current Process of Investigation (outlined by Quotidian):

interrogating birb about the details of the red herring

investigating the mutuals who are most likely to find cyg's post

Go through the notes of each of the unmasking posts and see who interacted and interrogate them

Try and lure kindly convince the anon to send another ask to one of us

Beg the Aussie anon to give us a hint

Drop to our knees and surrender ourselves to the nimbleness and cleverness of the Aussie anon

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interrogation and Progresses

> Detective Thread 1: Process

> Detective Thread 2: Decoding

> Detective Thread 3: Anons and Identities

> Interrogation Room 1: Birb (With Walking as a mootual lawyer)

> Interrogation Room 2:

\The Final Confrontation:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anon Identities

Aussie Anon

Red Herring (And Fishy#3) Anon - @brb-on-a-quest

Advice Anon @mayamohini

Fishy Anon- @gracefulchristiangirl

Fishy Anon #2 (Possibly also the Jury Anon) -

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last Updated: 15th of July, 2024, 6:55pm AEST, by Det. C. DoesThings.

(Thanks for joining the fun. If you want to clarify things, I'm CygnusDoesThings on most platforms, but Discord is the easiest way to reach me.)

.

.

.

CLASSIFIED ADDENDUM FOR CYGNUS ‘ONLY’

> One: Suspicions of my Teammates. (~1pm, July 14th, 2024 AEST)

> Two: Clear of Suspicions & A New Suspect. (~5pm, July 14th, 2024 AEST)

> Three: Thought Process and Private Journal (6:40pm, July 15th, 2024 AEST)

[quatregats]

Thinking about transfem Hornblower and like...I do absolutely think that there are things that read as dysphoria, but that's not the stuff that really makes me headcanon Hornblower as trans. I think the way in which the narrative is set up, in which we have a main character who is obsessed with performing a particular brand of masculinity despite the fact that he is terrible at it and it consistently makes him miserable is actually what does it for me. Like there's a point in the books where Hornblower's internal narrative becomes so unbelievably dishonest and unreliable about him being so! happy! that you can almost see that there's some central disjuncture in who he is that he refuses to address, and that's what really sells me. I do think you can read it multiple ways (the only readings of it that I personally actively disagree with are any that imply that he's legitimately happy in that situation because he's clearly not) but when you put the dysphoria-adjacent comments in with the larger context of insane cognitive dissonance of older Hornblower I think it makes a transfem reading really compelling and honestly explains the later books better than a direct reading could.

[sunflowersandsapphires]

Make a Mistake

Wake Up, Chapter 6

Series Masterlist           Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader 

summary: In an attempt to stop the advances of an unwanted suitor, Matt Murdock accidentally condemns you to being his fake girlfriend.

warnings: smut-adjacent towards the end (steamy kissing), swearing

a/n: This chapter was so much fun to write! I tried to unpack Matt’s insecurities a little bit and I had so much fun with that. As always, like, reblog, respond, and request if you have feedback!!

w/c: 3.6k

It had been a few weeks since you survived an attempted mugging, the pain in your head having mostly faded. 

Matt had stayed with you at your place for the entire weekend, reluctantly departing for work on Monday—though he diligently checked in on you every hour. Your boss has been more than sympathetic to your situation, giving you a few days off and letting you work from home until you’d fully recovered. 

During that time, you were hesitant to be left alone. While you barely remembered the encounter itself, the fear surrounding it was still very present as you went about your days. Matt had become your anchor (to a higher degree than he already was, you supposed.) 

You replayed your foggy memories of that night over and over in your head, thinking back to how Matt had knocked a man unconscious to help you. Though, from what you knew about the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, he was pretty practiced at that. 

After you pieced together the trail of clues he’d unknowingly left you, you began to care more about the public’s view of the vigilante, for obvious reasons. It had become a new obsession of sorts. Reading newspaper articles about the various criminals he had stopped, looking at images of “sightings” online, rabidly defending him in online forums against trolls. 

While others might feel betrayed or disgusted by Matt’s secret, you felt…awe struck. 

This man was devoting every single minute of his life to the people of the city that needed help. The people that needed him. He had saved hundreds of lives, including yours. He had almost died. Multiple times, according to some sources. You’d have to ask someone about what the fuck had happened at Midland Circle, though you doubted anyone would be forthcoming with the story. 

The knowledge of Matt’s alter ego made you want him even more, which was really complicating your role as his fake girlfriend. As was the fact that this sweet, savior of a man was now spending damn near every night at your place to make sure you felt safe enough to fall asleep. 

Sheepishly thinking back to the night two weeks ago when you’d called him sobbing after a concussion-induced nightmare, you couldn’t help but smile at the thought that he cared about you enough to check on you daily after that. In fact, you were expecting him soon for your weekly dinner, which he had promised would turn into another night at your place. For your security, of course. 

Groaning and dropping your face into your hands, you cursed your crush-happy little heart. Here you go getting attached to the man that you were in a fake relationship with. This was bad. Your feelings could jeopardize everything! And Matt didn’t deserve that. The poor man was working another job after coming home from the office and you were begging him to spend time on you for, what, comfort? Sure, you weren’t stopping his nightly activities from happening—if the way he leapt out your window after you had fallen asleep was any clue—but you weren’t exactly making his life easier. 

‘And you should be making his life easier’, you scolded yourself. All this man does is help others. He deserves to have someone looking after him for a change. Hell, he deserves a whole team of people to look after him, but if you needed to act as a one-man army, you could do that. 

A knock shook you from your thoughts. Putting your anxiety on hold, you went to retrieve Matt at the door. 

Picking at your dinner as your nerves tied your stomach in knots, you faked a smile and asked “How was your day, Matty?”

“Not bad. We got the charges on the Jones case dropped. Dismissed with prejudice.” 

“Oh Matt, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you!!” Slipping your arms around him, you squeezed tightly. “Shouldn’t you be out celebrating?” 

“Eh, I was tired. Besides, a bar wouldn’t really be good for your head just yet and I don’t want to give you a migraine.”

You shook your head at him, smiling. “We aren’t sewn together, you know. You should've gone without me!” You gave his shoulder a light shove. 

Matt simply shrugged, burying himself in your hair. “I don’t want to go anywhere without you, anymore.” 

The statement caught you off guard, but before you could blurt out a response, he stammered. “I—I mean, you’re my girlfriend to the public. So it’s best if we spend a lot of time together around other people, is what I meant.” 

Your heart sank. “Yah. No, yeah that makes sense.” You were quiet for a moment while you debated whether to be honest with him about your growing affection. After a bit of deliberation, you choked out “How did you get the charges dropped? I thought that case was a disaster.” Cringing internally at your cowardice, you pulled away from Matt and back into your own seat. 

Matt frowned, hands clenching momentarily before his expression evened out. “The court's error was big enough for us to turn their main argument on its head. The judge didn’t think the case was worth the time after that, I guess.” He gave a mirthless chuckle, staring at his lap. 

“Good thing you discovered that error then!” You squeezed his knee and his expression brightened a little. 

“I did the easy part. It was all Foggy and Karen, really.” 

“Well, you’re a team! So of course they would—“ you tried to reassure him but Matt interrupted. 

“Honestly, I’m shocked they still want to work with me. I rarely pull my weight. They’re both so kind and devoted and I’m…I’m a mess.” 

You looked at him in disbelief, gently taking his hand in your own. “What do you mean, darling? How are you a mess?” 

Biting his lip, he refused to turn into your gaze. “I just— we won today but I felt so…ashamed. Like everyone was giving me all this credit for something I didn’t do. I feel like that a lot of the time.” He closed his eyes, body deflating. 

“Oh, Matt,” You cupped his cheek to try to bring him out of self-deprecation mode, but he wasn’t ready to step out of it yet. 

“And it’s not just work, I mean I have no idea why you haven’t run for the hills yet. I’m overbearing and temperamental and selfish. I just take and take and most people realize that and cut me off— but somehow there are some people that don’t seem to care that I’m bleeding them dry. But I can’t pull away because…I need it now. So I just sit here and take the credit and pretend that I’m helping, but I’m not.” To your horror, his eyes became glassy. 

“You are helping.” You began firmly. “And you are allowed to need help yourself, darling.” You tenderly gripped his nape, stroking the skin underneath his jaw with your thumb. “We haven’t ‘run for the hills’ because we care about you too. And, as much as you want to deny it, you are incredibly patient and sweet and thoughtful.” 

“But I—“ 

“Darling, I’m more than willing to hear you out, but I want you to acknowledge that this is just a flare up of your imposter syndrome and a side effect of your crippling Catholic guilt. Is there anything that you could be doing that would satisfy you? Or would you still be critical of yourself for not doing ‘more’?” 

Matt sighed, leaning into you and resting your foreheads together. You brushed some hair away from his forehead and gave it a firm kiss before letting it fall against yours once more. 

“I am honored that you trust me enough to talk to me about this, and your feelings deserve to be heard and acknowledged, but you have to cut yourself some slack sometimes. Have you ever had a moment where you felt that you were enough?” You posed the question as precariously as possible, but Matt still felt emotion well up in his throat. 

“No.” His soft voice cracked on the admission. 

“Why not?” You pressed, still stroking his warm skin. 

“Because…because—“ he drew in a ragged breath. “I’m just not enough. I’m just not and I never will be.” 

“And I can absolutely relate to how you’re feeling right now, but have you ever had a personal reason for feeling this way, or is it because it’s what you’ve been told?” 

Matt hadn’t revealed much to you about his childhood, but you knew that it hadn’t been filled with love or validation. As someone who had also lacked those things growing up, you expected his guilt and shame surrounding what he wasn’t doing stemmed from never being good enough for others. 

“Matty, darling,” you continued as he stayed silent, your concern and curiosity growing. “When was the last time you felt appreciated by someone close to you” 

“Um…probably last week when you—“ 

“Someone besides me, love.” 

Matt held his breath, wracking his brain for an answer that would appease you, but he couldn’t find one. 

“I don’t know.” A tear finally slipped down his cheek and you brushed it away. 

“Do you feel good when people do appreciate you?” 

Matt nodded against you. “Yah. I know I don’t deserve it but…”

“Matthew Michael Murdock, of course you deserve it.” You chastised, but your words held no real anger. “I know it’s hard to believe when you hear it so rarely but you are wonderful. And if I have to convince you of that all by myself, I will.” You repositioned yourself so that you were in his lap, running your fingers along his scalp, foreheads remaining glued together. 

“You are so compassionate. Everything you do is for someone else. I don’t know many people who would think about dropping their evening plans to console a friend after a nightmare once, let alone consistently care for them for weeks after.” 

“See? Overbearing.” Matt interjects and you push at his chest to interrupt him. 

“No! Not overbearing. Kind. And you might operate on a…unique schedule…” Matt flinched at this so you hurried to praise him again. “But! You are so effective and intelligent that you manage to juggle everything anyway! Like that week when you stayed home from the office because you’d fallen and sprained your wrist. You told me Foggy was upset with you, but you unraveled the opposition’s argument in less than an hour the day you came back. That was impressive. You’re impressive.” Matt flushed at your comment, burying his face in your neck. You smiled down at his adorable position before continuing. 

“And you’re so resilient! You’ve been through so much and you’re still trying to make the world a better place. So many people would’ve given up on the rest of humanity but you don’t. And I don’t think you ever will. You’re just so…good. So don’t ever say that you don’t deserve to be praised for what you do and who you are. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. And I will always appreciate you.”

“Thank you,” Matt spoke your name softly, gripping the top you wore as if it was the only thing holding him together. 

“Anytime. I mean that. If you’re ever having a bad day, I will gladly ramble on about your great body and incredible personality.” 

“I don’t believe you mentioned my ‘great body’ before.” Matt straightened up with a tiny smirk.

“Oh c’mon. You and I both know that you’re well aware of the effect you have on women. We’ve been fake dating long enough that you don’t need to pretend with me.” You scoffed.

“I know that other people have considered me attractive, hell, Foggy talks about my ass so much some people think we are married. But I don’t think you have ever said anything.” 

“Because I knew it would go straight to your head and i refuse to give you the satisfaction.”

“Weren’t you just saying that I should be complimented more?”

“This is different.” 

“How?” 

“It just is!” You laughed as he poked your side. 

“It sounds like you’re not ready for my line of questioning. We may have to revisit your testimony at a later date, if the opposition permits.” Clearly his wave of insecurity had passed, if the joking nature of his comments were anything to go by. 

You shook your head at his jest, tracing his perfectly sculpted jaw with your fingers. As you scraped your nails over his stubble he made a sound akin to a purr. Giggling, you did it again with a bit more force. “You like that, do you? Good to know.” Your brain signaled to you desperately. You are treading a dangerous line, ma’am. You ignored your rational side, continuing to stroke the lawyer’s face. 

Matt let his head fall against yours once more, the bridge of his nose pressing against your cheek. Your hand moved back to his scalp, kneading gently. Leaping over your own anxiety, you took a risk. He felt your jaw move as you spoke again. “You know, I’ve been thinking about all the preparation we’ve done, but we haven’t practiced something that seems kind of…big?” 

Matt nuzzled your ear, hearing your pulse throb under his touch. “What’s that, angel?” 

“Well, um, it’s just that—we’ve never, uh, kissed before.” You stumbled over the request, continuing to thread your fingers through his hair. Before Matt could say anything, your ramble continued. “I mean, you’ve kissed me on the cheek, I guess. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound needy or anything—I mean, it’s fine! We don’t need to do that. Forget I said—“ 

Cutting you off, Matt swiftly dipped your body so that you were lying horizontally on the couch cushions and positioned himself over you. A dark smirk crossed his face as your arousal grew. “Have you been thinking about kissing me, angel?” 

“No!” You squeaked, wriggling out from the trap his arms and provocative gaze had created. God, why was it so hot in here right now. Standing up from the couch, you paced away from him. “I just meant— It seems like something other people would expect couples to do, is all.” 

Matt’s sinister smile faded to a softer one. “If you wanted me to kiss you before, sweetness, all you had to do was ask. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“Oh trust me, you don’t need to worry about that.” You brushed off the concern quickly before realizing what you’d just admitted to. “Uh—I mean—“ 

Matt just chuckled, standing from the couch and moving over to you. He softly took your chin in one hand. “You know, you’re cute when you’re flustered.” That statement did not help your feelings at the moment, but Matt wasn’t done. “You want me to show you what we could do, the next time we are at an event together?” 

You were nodding, practically breathless at this point. “Please, Matty.” 

“Well, a pretty girl like you deserves a nice experience, not just a quick peck on the lips.” Matt pursed his lips, thinking, and you fixated on them. Desire was pooling in your gut. Matt, seemingly, did not notice your growing hunger as he stroked the hollow of your cheek before continuing. “We’d want to get their attention, right? So, I think I’d start by pulling you close.” He tugged you into him, making you gasp. Smile widening, he slid a hand around to the back of your neck. “I’d want to hold you like this, I think. Make a real big show of how lucky I am to have you, ya know?” 

This man was going to kill you. He had to know what he was doing, right? Damn your lovestruck heart for initiating this. 

You shifted from foot to foot, a rush of pure lust making you a bit impatient. Matt frowned, “Sorry, too much? Need to stop?” His hand dropped from your nape and you whimpered involuntarily. 

“No!” You squeaked, cringing at how high pitched your voice sounded. “No, it was nice. Please don’t stop, I want to, um, prepare for the next event! Like you said.” 

Matt’s smile flickered back to life, his hand coming to rest under your hair once again. “Oh, I get it now. Did you like this, pretty girl?” He pulls you impossibly closer, breathing over your lips. “I’ll keep showing you what we could do, but if you stop liking what I’m doing, you tell me, ok?”

“Uh huh.” You managed, completely breathless now. Matt grinned, wrapping a strand of hair around one finger and giving a slight tug.

“Good girl.” You bit back a moan, keening into him a bit. Matt steadied you with a laugh, “Well, once we had everyone looking—and they would be looking, sweetness—I’d lean in…” He did so, his lips ghosting over yours. “And I’d kiss you until everyone in the room knew you were all mine.”

You couldn’t take it anymore. You forcibly closed the indiscernible gap between the two of you, wrapping your arms around him. As your lips met, sparks danced across your eyelids. You’d heard rumors, but you were still amazed at how skilled Matt was. He was an incredible kisser. Threading your lips together with ease, he gave your top lip an almost imperceptible tug before slowly pulling away. “Something like that, sweetness.” He panted, brushing a thumb over your lower lip. 

“I think I need another demonstration.” You murmured, hand coming up to his head to push him back onto your lips. His mouth parted in a broad grin as you desperately pressed your mouth to his again. Your knees were practically buckling, Matt was holding you up—hand still woven into your hair. 

Stubble scraping against your chin, you gently pulled at his bottom lip, mirroring the sensation he’d just created for you. His breath danced across your face, a small noise escaping his lips. His tongue gave the tiniest swipe over your lip and you mewled. 

Pulling away abruptly, your own noise acting like an ice bath, your eyes widened with horrific realization. Clearly, you were taking advantage of the position he’d put you in, and you were more than embarrassed at the thought of you getting off on it. 

“Oh god, Matt I’m so sorry—I-I don’t know what came over me!” You stammered, stepping away from him with your head falling into your hands. He let you pull away, but smiled after you, shaking his head. 

“You didn’t do anything I wasn’t more than ok with, sweet thing. I’d be overjoyed to practice that again sometime.” 

You peeked at him between your fingers. “Really?”

His eyes darkened with want. “Really.” 

“Are you absolutely sure? Because I don’t want to push you—“ 

Matt was on you in an instant, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and touching his nose to yours. “Please, angel, kiss me like that again.”

And you did. 

“So are we going to dance around the big fat elephant in the room all night?” You stirred your drink, avoiding Marci’s question. 

“What elephant? There’s no elephant.” You assured her, maybe a little too quickly given her knowing smirk. 

“God, you're a worse liar than Fog. Who told me after little to no pressure was applied that you and Matt are kissing now? Am I supposed to pretend that’s not a massive development?”

“Marce, it’s not like that. We were practicing for the legal conference next week.” 

“I’m sorry, ‘practicing’? You have to know how disgustingly middle school that sounds.” 

Burying your face in your hands, you heaved a sigh, knowing that Marci would not drop the topic until you’d satisfied her curiosity. She was ruthless that way. “I mean, when you put it like that—“

She laughed as heat rose in your cheeks. “Ok then spill! How long has this been going on? Have you told him that you like-like him yet?” Her voice rose in a sickeningly teasing falsetto. 

Ripping your head out of your palms, you looked at her in shock. “I do not like-like Matt. What are you—“ You trailed off, taking in Marci’s knowing look and raised eyebrow. Returning to the shelter of your hands, you groaned. “God, does everyone know? Does Matt know??”

“Foggy, Karen, and I have been speculating for a while. Matt seems to be blissfully unaware.” 

“Ugh! You can’t tell him, Marce. Promise me! It’ll ruin everything.” You pleaded, anxiety swirling through you at the thought of him finding out that you’d been infatuated with him throughout the fake relationship. 

“I won’t tell him.” Marci took your hands in hers, encouraging you to look at her again. “But, I don’t think it would ruin anything. In fact, I know that it wouldn’t. He likes you just as much as you like him.” 

“He does?” You bit your lip, warmth cascading over your face at the thought of Matt returning your affections. 

“Yah, babe. He treats you like you hung the moon. And, apparently, you two have kissed already…” 

You rolled your eyes. “Ok we kissed a handful of times in my apartment and once in public and we agreed that it was so it wouldn’t look awkward in front of Snyder in the future.” 

“Ok so that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. You two have kissed multiple times in the last week and you still think this relationship is fake? I’m begging you to put an end to all of this misery and TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.” She gently shook your shoulders to prove her point and you laughed. 

“Ok! Ok. I’ll do it. I’ll tell him.” 

“Thank god!” Marci downed the rest of her drink. “I'm going to hold you to this.” She pointed at you, sternly. 

“Yah, yah. I know.” 

Little did you know, Matt was getting an eerily similar lecture from Foggy and Karen on the other side of Hell’s Kitchen. 

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