#muldersplaning

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Myst.

I bet you got stuck on the rocket ship puzzle, right? You know, the one with the piano. Huh, yeah, I bet you did. You probably had to look it up! I can tell! Look at you, you're getting nervous just thinking about it.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Nirvana's "Nevermind."

Not many people know that "Bleach" was their first album and mostly posers started listening to Nirvana after "Nevermind" came out.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Moon Shoes.

I mean, they were more than just trampolines for your feet, okay? They revolutionized jumping.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Polly Pockets.

Inferior in many ways to the Mighty Max pocket toys, but I guess it was okay for some people.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining compact discs.

Actually, compact discs can contain upwards of 687 megabytes (that's a unit of data storage, like gallons) and aren't just used for music.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Mr. Bucket.

Don't be so immature, people. This was a perfectly innocent toy for kids.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining furbies.

My sister thought beanie babies would be worth millions of dollars when we were little, but I knew furbies would be the real hot item in the future for collectors. I know because I'm better at these things.

[muldersplaining]

Cellsplaining mulders.

Actually it's its it IS as FRIXMoldery,,,,HEX((((9)))),,,,,,,zzt.: ERROR

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Dear Diaries.

Sorry, you probably weren't old enough.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Bop Its.

Do you remember Simon, Scully? Basically the same thing but requiring different parts of the brain that are dedicated to specific actions, not necessarily with quadrants of colors, you see.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining game boys.

Actually it's "game boy" not "gameboy", Mulder. You don't play video games so you wouldn't know.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Don't Wake Daddy.

The object of the game was to not wake daddy. Ostensibly there's hell to pay if you do, but the Don't Wake Daddy wiki is still down, so I can only speculate on the embedded lore.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining Stretch Armstong.

Bend him, stretch him, like...you can fucking tie him in lit-er-al knots, okay? Always, ALWAYS returns to his original shape. You probably didn't know that.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining tiger electronics handheld games.

Swamp Thing wasn't the only one they released but it was the best and I will not allow any arguments to that fact, Sculls.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining a cellular telephone.

Actually, "cellular" refers to the way transceiver towers communicate with one another and your mobile phone. Not many people know that.

[muldersplaining]

Muldersplaining MiniDiscs.

And he was right.