#much love from pizzaland

[elisastro]

i am genuinely extremely sorry for all of people in france rn. honestly, seeing how things are going here in italy, it won’t be long till we get even worse

[clownmaggot]

After hours in Pizzaland was the same ordeal every night. Drinking, smoking and whatever card game the performers could come up with- but mostly poker. They never had enough cash to bet real money, instead opting to use whatever discarded or forgotten belongings were left behind under the bigtop’s bleachers. All of it was for fun though, items would be given back if the finder truly wanted it, and even then they didn’t care if their belongings were borrowed. They were a family after all.

A small blue clown opted to clean the trash this time, letting everyone go to their trailers early. Their game went on for a little too long and Gorgonzola fought ferociously for his friend Sharpe’s rather pathetic haul of one beanie baby-esque doll. A drunken game of slapjack between the two rang out laughter the entire night. Gorgonzola’s pitiful yelps in pain and equally sad slap backs had everyone’s sides hurting. Sharpe knew why Gorgonzola wanted it, and the wedge loved to make things difficult for him. It was a mutual love and rivalry between the two. Their act of being the antithesis of each other leaked into their relationship like an ongoing joke. The two consented to the other being a goofy thorn in each other’s side, it was impressive how much they committed to the bit.

A fairly large woman sat behind him, her skin made of a soft and spongy mocha cake. She gently brushed her cream hair out of her face as she watched her smaller clown husband carefully placing empty bottles into a trash bag. She giggled softly as she watched him stumble, knowing he had been joining in the fun a little too much. Earlier she had offered to help him clean, wanting to go back to her trailer together, but he refused to let her move a muscle. Looking down, she lovingly eyed the newly acquired doll he had won for her. They both adored dolls, and this one in particular was as cute as a button. A little blue elephant lying flat on its stomach. It was the softest material she had ever felt before, she couldn’t help but to stroke her new prize. Tomorrow was their day off, and while they had originally planned to visit the library on floor one, she really wanted to stay home and clean the stains off the toy. “ Do you think they’d like this toy? “ Tira giggled, watching Gorgonzola hold onto the makeshift crate table for dear life. “ Of course they would! “ Gorgonzola smiled, he was so goofy when he was completely wasted. But even when he was impaired, her laughter sent his heart fluttering.

“ Do you think we could just maybe stay home tomorrow? “ Tira hummed, giving the doll another look-over for any more blemishes.

“ Anything you want! “ The clown hiccuped cartoonishly as his voice slurred, raking in the trash off the table into his garbage bag, the bottles clinking together as they hit the bottom. “ I would love to stay home. “ Her smile. Her damned smile. It melted his very being every time her crimson lips curled into her rosy, raspberry cheeks. His heart felt so full whenever he looked at her. The beauty and joy she brought into his life was unparalleled. His pace picked up, quickly throwing the empty bottles away and thankfully not having to worry about cigars or their containers to clean this time around. He wanted to get home as quickly as possible, feeling slightly guilty that she was awake for this long and late. “ Hurkay. I think that’s all we have to worry about. “ The clown wobbled in place. “ Need some help? “ “ I think.. Can you hold my hands? “ She held out her soft, cakey hands to which he immediately held in his own.

His wife exhaled, carefully getting off the crate that she was seated on with the help of himself, putting all of his drunken focus on this one moment until she was on her feet. “ Thank you dear. “ … The two made the trek back to their trailers, the usual meet-up spot was quite far off from the rest of the fair. A bit of blank space full of fake grass and storage crates no one really traveled to. They walked hand and hand through the amusement park, talking about the usual. Her hypotheticals getting humorous reactions out of her intoxicated little husband. Most of the time they didn’t have much to talk about, their day-to-day being all in the same. Performances, poker, circus happenings, maybe the oddball customer here and there. Hypotheticals sparked conversation, a way to escape their rather mundane lives, and if there was anything they loved the most, it was hearing the other talk. “ Do you need a break? “ Gorgonzola squeaked, looking up at Tira nervously. “ What? Oh. I’m fine sweetcheese. We’ve only started walking. “ She looked down to him, her thumb caressing his hand that tightened in hers. “ Okay, if you need to sit down let me know. “ “ I will. “ Tira reassured him. Their walk continued, they were halfway to their trailers now. They were cutting through the park itself, admiring some of the prizes that could be won at the carnival games, eyeing the new posters for upcoming performances, and giggling at how Sharpe would have a musical number in “ Gorgonzola the Clown meets Sinbad the Sailor. “ Everyone gave him hell for it and Sharpe was embarrassed beyond belief, but he was an unknown treasure when it came to singing. Gorgonzola told him as much, but Sharpe of course told him in the most loving way possible to fuck off. “ Okay, but what if you were to see the outside? How’d that make you feel? “ Tira hummed after a pause, thinking of more hypotheticals for them to explore. “ Happy, as long as you’re there with me! “ Gorgonzola chuckled, swinging their arms a bit as they walked.

“ What would be the first thing you’d do? “

“ Hmm… “ The blue clown paused. “ Probably see if the grass is as soft as they say in the books we read. “

“ Do you think that’s true? “ Tira asked.

“ I hope so. “

Finally, they approached a ring of trailers that held their troupe. A small ring of rocks in the middle contained a pile of ash from the night before’s cook-out. God that was so much fun, even if they did run the risk of being outed from stealing some of the vendor’s food, every second and burnt fallen marshmallow was worth it. He wondered if they still had leftovers… oh who was he kidding. They probably didn’t. It wasn’t like them not to go all out on something like that. Over indulgence was a rarity, might as well go big.

They walked to Tira’s decorated red trailer. Gorgonzola, though still rather intoxicated, helped her up the few steps she had to scale. The inside was cozy with hanging lights. Tira could barely fit into it at this point, a while ago it was just big enough to survive in. The two would be lying if they said it wasn’t cramped, yet she still insisted he sell his own trailer in favor of staying in her bigger one. Though it was cramped, they didn’t mind having less of their own personal space if it meant they got to stay with one another.

“ There you go~ With all your new friends. They’ll love you. I promise. “ 

Gorgonzola looked over to the end of the trailer, smiling ear to ear at his beloved Tira, placing the newly acquired elephant into a glass case of forgotten toys as well as the dolls they made themselves. Right next to the case sat a small desk and a sewing machine, under it was a little sweater she had been working on a few days prior for another one of their creations. 

“ Do you think he’d look good in a raincoat? I think he’d look nice in yellow. “ Tira thought aloud, tapping her finger against her chin. Gorgonzola tied the top of the garbage bag and set it aside their own bin. “ I think that would be a good look for him. “ He agreed. “ But I think we need to conserve our material for a bit. “ “ You think so? “ “ Yeah, we’ll need it… Probably shouldn’t get so attached to it either, there’s no telling how much baby vomit that thing’s gonna get covered in when you pop. “ “ But then I’ll just love him more. “ Tira’s words made his heart feel at home. “ I don’t think I can win in this situation~”

After a bit of preparation, undressing and redressing into their nightwear, the two held each other tightly in their bedroom. Gorgonzola was careful around her midsection, feeling paranoid that she was as fragile as glass. Their embrace lasted in pure silence with nothing but the gentle creak of a ceiling fan breaking it. The clown could remain like this for the rest of time. If everything stood still in this moment, he would be satisfied for the rest of eternity. His eyes fluttered, believing she was asleep, and began to drift as well.

“ Gorgonzola. “ Tira’s groggy, but seemingly troubled voice rang out.

His eyes shot open, immediately sobering up from her anxious tone. “ What’s wrong? “

“ What would you do if you lost me? “ 

Gorgonzola’s heart lurched at the thought. To live without her? The pain would be immeasurable. The mere suggestion there’d be a day in his life where Tira wasn’t with him or worse. Tears would well in his eyes, had he not been so mellowed out by alcohol. What would he do? He had never felt this way towards anyone like this before, his heart was so full of love, and to think that there would be even a moment in this life he’d go on without her… One thing he knew was for sure. 

“ I would never be the same. “

His answer seemingly satisfied her, he knew her pregnancy was scary. He was afraid for her too. Tira had a bad habit of preparing for the worst, and unfortunately Gorgonzola found himself right there with her. He refused to let her stay down, even if his head was filled with the panic of the uncertainty of the future. He loved her beyond love. Nothing would happen to her. He would never let anything happen to her.

…

….

….. Pasturo stood atop the tower. His eyes wide and wild as a starved, caged tiger. His breathing was ragged and audible. His fingers curled and clung to the side of the tower wall, staring down onto the small building below. Nothing in this world mattered to him more than the destruction of the two men occupying that accursed building. His soul was consumed with hatred, a bitter emptiness that could never be refilled. The bone chilling wind made his painted face numb but the excruciating pain of holding that expression for hours remained. There was no religion that provided a hell cruel enough for them, no god merciful enough to strike them down for the sake of everyone else. He craved catharsis, he wanted his rightful justice to devolve into depraved torture beyond comprehension.

These feelings were indescribable, anger, rage, none of these words compared to the raw emotions that burned him alive. Robbed of everything that could have been. For what? Nothing at all. He was alone and without his family for nothing more than a tyrant’s make believe fantasy and robbed of a friend because he wanted to see what he longed for and couldn’t have. There were no words he desired to share. There was no talking him down, there was no question he wanted to ask. Gorgonzola wanted to ask the two “why?” but Pasturo saw it all too clearly. There were no words to be shared.

There was only vengeance. When the smoke cleared, nothing would ever be the same ever again.