#much 2 think bt with him i could talk bt desire for hours

[unrelatabledude]

“I can’t take it anymore” I want you to make me say it too I can’t with anybody else, let me praise you

for me n nokire's "koujaku comes back earlier" au.

and also my desire playlist bc im OBSESSED with him.

[raggaraddy]

Daddy

Summary: You seduce Namjoon by calling him Daddy and it's a little too effective.

Trigger warning: Smut, mild exhibitionism, Daddy kink, dirty talk.

A/N: Apart of the 'You tease/instigate sex with Yandere BTS' OT7 reaction. But they're all too long, so they will be released individually. 💜💜💜

Other parts

Yoongi

Hoseok

Taehyung

Alpha! Namjoon

You had woken up with a craving, a longing that had carried over from yesterday. It was the kind of mood and the type of desire that only Namjoon could satisfy, but this morning again you woke alone, his side of the bed unused.

When you think logically, you know that he has a lot of responsibilities and that your needs are petty in comparison to the greater needs of the pack. But the emotional part of you, the side that can be greedy, petulant, and stubborn hates it when you're not his first and only priority. Normally you can cull your childish impulses, but after missing him so much you had mentally blocked off him coming home last night as time you would get to have. He would come to bed and you could catch up and talk and relax and have the intimacy that you craved, the physical satisfaction you had been without for over a week now.

You can't wait another day. You don't want to.

Rolling out of bed, you brush your teeth and hair but don't change out of your pyjamas. It's Saturday and you have nowhere to be anyhow.

Coming downstairs, you can hear a racket coming past the door to the kitchen. Namjoon is sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal. His Beta standing at the bench making himself toast.

Seeing you, a smile pulls onto Joon's lips. A pout forming on yours. He came home and didn't come to see you?

"Good morning, Beautiful."

"Good morning, Luna."

Ignoring the other man, your attention stays on Namjoon. Your hip jutting to the side, with your arms crossed.

"You didn't come to bed?" You ask, trying not to sound as sulky as you are.

"Sorry, baby." He says, shovelling in another mouthful. Continuing to answer as he chews. "Only had, like, 2 hours so I just slept on the couch."

He works too much. Between the pack, the territories, and his business, you're surprised he ever has any personal time. It makes it impossible to be grumpy at him for not giving you all the attention you want.

"Do you have to work late today?" You step towards the table, fidgetting with the half-full water bottle standing on it.

Namjoon looks past you to his Beta who takes his cue to answer, "Nah, once we've done the thing at Max's we should be good."

"Then we should be finished by 3, 4 at the latest." Namjoon gives you a more specific time. "Might be home a little bit later though." He gestures to the other wolf, "I think a few of us are going to go for a drink after. Right?"

And now you have a reason to be annoyed.

Is he kidding? You have hardly seen each other all week and he is going to take the first moment he has free and spend it with his boys. Mean. Rude. Not fair. Honestly, you don't care if he wants to go out and have a drink after, but he better come home and at least fuck you first.

You have to be careful though. If you get snarky or show him that you're annoyed, he is just going to get mad at your attitude. You don't need that drama. Besides, you have a smarter way to make sure that he rushes home to you. And a way to punish him for treating you like an afterthought. Let's see how he likes being left horny.

"Sounds like fun," you say, unable to completely smother your resentful tone. Taking long idle steps towards Joon, the exact idea is still forming in your head.

Your fingers trailing as you walk, hop the distance from the tabletop to his arm continuing up his chest. The heel of your palm pushing him back in his seat, you lift your leg and you climb over his lap. With his complicit movements, you easily and comfortably end up on top. Squeezing yourself into the space between the table and him. Your arms draped over his shoulders, hands joined behind his neck, and your feet resting on the chair's spindles helping you stay propped up.

"What is it baby?" he coos, cheekily. His eyebrow raising, dimples popping from the soft smile.

There isn't a need to answer. Your actions speak for themselves.

Spreading your knees wider, you press yourself down into him, shifting on his lap in a subtle- but not so subtle- manner. Your fingers combing through his hair try to shadow your obvious intentions, massaging slow firm circles into the back of his head. All while looking at him through your lashes with a coquettish smile.

Namjoon's eyes close and he hums under his breath in relaxed enjoyment. His hands grabbing either side of your waist a little tighter.

Licking your lips, you lean forward and place a light kiss on the mouth. Repeating once, twice, and a third time, with him delicately matching your energy. And on the fourth time, you suck his full bottom lip. Dragging your teeth over it very gently. As you again grind in his lap.

Your Mate has very limited self-discipline when you act like this. And you've easily set him off.

In contrast to your tender, deliberate movements his response is much more coarse. He leans into you with his eyes still closed, kissing you with fever. His tongue driving into your mouth, lapping yours.

God, it feels good. But there is no point in letting yourself get caught up in what you can't have. You're not going to let Namjoon hijack what is meant to be your evil plan.

Bringing one hand snugly around his throat and the other remaining fixed in his hair, you drag him back from you. Panting a little as you fight to hold onto your own diminishing self-control. Having become frustratingly wet, your centre throbbing.

"I'm going to miss you today, Daddy." you purr just above a whisper. Your words accompanied by the tightening of both of your hands as you lean in and a single time more, lightly kiss him. Pulling back as he opens his eyes to your provocative expression.

It's not a name you've used before, though it's definitely a word that springs to mind when you see him. And you know Joon well enough to know that he likes any kind of behaviour from you that reinforces that he's in charge, that you look up to him and are dependant on him.

With an amorous grin returning to his parted lips he nods his head, licking the corner of his mouth. A look in his eyes that is between pride and resignation.

"You're going to be sore today," his raspy voice rumbles through his chest. Making you squirm a little from his fingertips digging into your skin firmer. Your core clenching achingly around nothing.

That's your queue. If you wait any longer and you're not going to be able to stop yourself.

Swiping at his hands on either side of you, you take a large gulp of air and exhale it as a sigh. Using his chest to support yourself, you uncouple from him, kicking your leg back over in a swift motion. A blatant smirk pulling onto your lips at the confused look on his face.

"Sorry Joon," you say in a straight, casual way. "But you're too busy today. You'll just have to wait until you get home."

His eyes and mouth both get wider in puzzlement.

Flicking your ponytail like a full stop, you spin on your heels. Catching a glimpse of the other wolf who is stood awkwardly behind the counter, staring down, giving his attention to anything but the two of you.

You don't care. Joon paws at you in front of them all the time. You've kind of lost the shame of these public displays. And anyway, your Mate needed to be made to suffer a little.

Taking one step, two steps, your wrist is caught as it swings beside you. Tugging you back, your body slaps into Namjoon's. His arms quickly wrapping around you, holding you in place. Looking up and back at him, he doesn't look stunned anymore. He looks like he isn't finished.

Bending lower, his mouth dives into your neck. Kissing and sucking at the bare skin. His tongue flicking at your ear lobe, sending shivers down your spine, making your body pulse. The first sound of a moan pouring out of your open mouth before you catch it and silence it in your chest.

"Beautiful, are you teasing Daddy?" he growls in your ear.

Fuck.

When you said it, it felt fun. But hearing Namjoon's low register as he calls himself Daddy has you aching inside and out. You're dripping. Feeling flustered at how quickly this backfired.

Closing your eyes, biting your lip, you sink into the feel of his body and hands and mouth. The last little thread of your restraint just snapped.

Leaning into his touch, you entirely disregard your plan to make him wait.

It was stupid anyway. You need him just as much, if not more.

You turn on the spot, pulling at his shirt untucking it from his jeans. Desperately fiddling with his belt trying to get it undone. Your breath becoming heavy and panted. You need him right now. All of him.

Briskly shoving you back by your shoulders, Joon separates from you. Looking down with the same smug glint you gave him just before.

"No, you were right. We're too busy today. We should probably go." he calls over your shoulder to his Beta who abashedly nods, sucking in his cheek. "Sorry, baby. You'll just have to wait until I get home." he turns your words against you. Pride pulling his shoulders back.

No. Not fair. You can't wait.

Pouting your lower lip, you reach out for him again. He can't be this mean. You're not as abstentious as you thought and you've unintentionally become even more turned on than when you woke up.

"But Joon," you whine, fluttering your eyes.

You wriggle out of his hold and you fall into him. Grabbing at his shirt again, one of your palms hungrily caressing his crotch. Trying ungraciously to get your way.

There is no way he isn't as horny as you are. You can feel how hard he is. You can feel his whole body tightening with every touch.

It won't be the end of the world if he is late just this once. You just need to convince him to listen to his dick rather than his brain.

"Pretty please Daddy," you moan, your fingers hooking under his belt. "fuck me."

He lets out a low animalistic grumble. His head tilting to the side sharply. As he struggles to keep his wolf from clawing to the surface. Seeing the ravenous look in his eye you know right away that you've won.

"You can handle the patrol briefing on your own," he tells his Beta in an indirect order. Sounding so much more level than the wolfish look in his eyes makes him seem. Grabbing under your ass, he lifts you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. "I'll catch up in a bit."

You're so focused on Namjoon but in the corner of your eye, you see his Beta rush out of the room without a single word. Seeming extremely eager to not be here.

With your eyes not leaving his for a moment, he paces forwards, sitting you on the edge of the table. Tearing the fabric between his hands, he shreds your pyjama shorts and tank top. Ripping them away from you, stripping you naked by the time you hear the front door slamming closed.

Once again you start to fumble with his belt. Shaking with how urgently you want to get his pants down. Your actions only made even more frantic by Joon's hands running through your hair as he kisses down your mouth, jaw, neck, and chest.

Finally, you are able to pull his belt free and you yank his pants down. Starting to unconsciously chant and plead.

"Oh please, please, please," you whisper, your whole body trembling in anticipation.

Neither he nor you can wait and the moment he is free he jerks your hips forward, spreading your legs around him. Not hesitating to thrust his cock into you. The feeling of him stretching you makes your eyes roll back. A pleasurable outcry from deep in your soul pouring out at finally having your craving filled.

Your arms wrap behind his head, pulling yourself closer to him, your mouth joining to his. Kissing him passionately. Sucking his tongue. Moaning into his mouth as all the while he fucks you into a state of frenzy. Your mind getting clouded from the waves of unrelenting ecstasy that is coursing up your spine and down your legs.

Shoving you back, you instantly prop yourself up on your elbows. Shifting to stay in rhythm with Namjoon. With his hands running down your thighs and calves, he raises your right leg, resting it against his shoulder. The new position spiking a new sensation that makes your arms weak and you drop back flat. Closing your eyes, your hands tangled in your hair as you bite your lip. Inadvertently stifling your moans.

"Don't get quiet on me now, beautiful." Namjoon purrs, his hands raking down your chest. "Daddy wants to see how loud his cock can make you scream."

[thomotomo]

Through everything pt.2

A/N: Here’s the part 2 of my Nmajoon x male Reader story! I hope you will enjoy it! Shoutout to @ben-c0c​ who beta read this part and corrected all my shit  (*¯ ³¯*)♡

Words: 2.5k

CW // Talk about stalks and sasaengs

Part 1

Namjoon held your hand during the whole escalator trip and you tried to calm yourself down by singing some random song’s lyrics or trying to concentrate on the warm feeling of Namjoon’s hand holding yours but nothing seemed to do it and before you knew it you were at the desired floor.

As the doors opened you saw a muscular man was waiting for the doors to open, he was looking at his phone and looked up as the doors opened. Namjoon took the first step, still holding your hand and you had no choice but follow him.

“Manager-nim! Hello! Sejin meet (Y/N), (Y/N) this is Sejin our manager!”

You smiled at him, bowing a little bit.

“Nice to finally meet you! Namjoon talks quite often about you!”

“I can’t say the same but nice to meet you anyway!”, he put on a friendly smile, even though you could feel that he was tense and you could easily understand why. If you were going to proceed announcing your relationship the company could be in very deep shit. You pushed those thoughts away, concentrating on your boyfriend and his manager discussing.

“You’re going to meet the members and then we’ll go see the CEO and the PR so we can discuss this!”

“Fine by me! Even though I don’t have much choice.”

He laughed gently and you followed Namjoon and Sejin to where the other members were in a big room, discussing about anything and everything. You were quite intimidated when they all looked at you as you walked in the room. You flushed and put your head down, looking at your feet. You heard Sejin talking to the members, quickly explaining the situation to them and what was about to happen. The members stood up and came toward you, smiling warmly and you were standing there awkwardly.

“H-Hello… It’s nice to finally meet you”, you waved at them, trying not to avert your eyes from them.

“Hi! Nice to meet you! Namjoon talked so much about you!”, it was Jimin who talked first as he extended his hand towards you. You took it and smiled at him, you were happy they seemed to like you too. You were scared that they wouldn’t like you because you could cause the “downfall” of their group, but they seemed genuinely happy to meet you.

Each of the members went to shake your hands, as you grinned, feeling more at ease with each minute passing. All of you then moved, discussing with them stories about Namjoon or learning about each of your lives (both yours and the members’). You kept discussing until Sejin told you it was time for the meeting with the CEO and PR representatives.

You let out a shaky breath, trying to appear not too worried but Yoongi seemed to notice it and he came to give you a hug, surprising you.

“It’s going to be okay! I’m sure everything will go alright!”, he grinned at you, doing thumbs up too, making you laugh gently.

The other boy wished you good luck and tried to reassure you gently. Namjoon took your hand in his, smiling gently at you, tugging you to follow Sejin to the office where all the important representatives were waiting for you. After what seemed a walk through an endless corridor, Sejin knocked at a door and entered first then let both of you in.

Before stepping in, Namjoon kissed your cheeks, whispering a “love you” before entering the room. It was plain grey, with big cabinets filled with paper works, probably all the cases they had to “resolve” or hide from the public. In the middle of this oppressing place was a big desk where Lenzo Yoon sat, the CEO for business; you supposed that your relationship was business considering he was the one meeting both of you. Next to him 3 people were present, two women and a man who looked at you as you walked in.

You repressed a shudder, the atmosphere in this office was really negative and if it wasn’t for Namjoon, you would have run away. Lenzo greeted you in a professional manner and you did the same, smiling a bit. All the PR representatives presented themselves and you took a seat in front of them. The woman at his right was Kwak Joo-Ho, the man at her right was Park Yong-Nam and the other woman at the left of the CEO was Sohn Eunseo.

You were very antsy and probably appeared as a nervous wreck despite trying not to appear this way. You were sweating profusely, your shirt was sticking to your back and your hands were shaking, but you kept trying to calm yourself, thinking about good thoughts and fluffy memories with Namjoon.

“So, I’ve been made aware of why Namjoon had requested a meeting with me and the PR team. I guess you’re his boyfriend right?”, Lenzo Yoon spoke first, a serious look on his face.

“Y-Yes it’s me.” You croaked, your throat dry because of the stress.

“From what he told us, you’ve been dating for a good while, 7 years if I’m correct and that he wanted to announce your relationship to everyone and that you were absolutely sure about that.”

“That’s right sir.”, it was Namjoon’s turn to respond affirmatively.

“Alright. I’ll let Ms.Kwak Ho-Joo talk to you about our thoughts on it and how we could do that announcement.”, he moved his hand towards a woman with her hair put in a bun. She nodded and looked at you, opening a file.

“So, I’m sure Namjoon had talked to you about it already but the medias are going to want to know everything about you, they’ll search any kind of social medias where you are, know that sasaengs will look for you too, they’re going to invade your private space and probably follow you and try to get all of your personal info, like phone number, private email, workplace etc. We’re going to need you to not do any public declarations that could be detrimental to the group like their private information, so you’re going to have to sign a non-disclosing agreement to ensure that.”, she slid a paper across the table to you.

Truth to be told you were a bit hurt that they thought you would publicly release their info but you understood why they did that, after all they were often chased by sasaengs and some of them even already had their private information. You read the contract carefully, not wanting to miss any info and you took the pen that was slided to you and signed at the bottom of each page before giving everything back to Ho-Joo. She put the contract back inside the file and continued.

“About the press and the sasaengs, you might want to put your online account such as twitter and Instagram in private to avoid any hate comments that could arrive to you, and to stop them from maybe digging up some things that you aren’t comfortable with sharing publicly.” You nodded at that, it only made sense, after all you didn’t want to get a flood of hate, same for your friends and family.

“Also, to announce your relationship it won’t be a press conference but we’re going to do a lengthy post about your relationship and post it on all of the company’s social media. We’re going to have to redact it with both of you, even though we already have an idea of what to write we will need your approval for some things.”

You nodded as she explained that. You got a lot of information at once  but it was only fair, considering what could happen in the minutes or hours following the statement, you also didn’t want to reveal more than necessary about you. You were realistic, surely you would get a ton of hate, after all BTS was one of the biggest bands of its time so it was only obvious you’d get hated on, but you knew that some people would support you too and be understanding.

Park Young-Nam pulled out a computer, you guessed it was to redact the statement. You felt Namjoon’s hand on your thigh and you looked at him, a bit surprised, he smiled at you and you felt a boost of serotonin as you looked at his dimpled smile. He never stopped to make you feel at ease even in a nervous-wrecking situation as this one and you took his hand in yours and tangled your fingers together.

You stayed around an hour in the office, writing the lengthy statement about your relationship, then they recommended you not to leave the building already, not that you were planning to, considering the bomb you would have just dropped for the whole world to see, and other recommendations about how to act and react to hate.

After everything was said, they told you that they would publish the statement in roughly ten minutes and that both of you could go back with the other members. You bid them goodbye and Sejin accompanied you back to the apartment where the other members still were. You quickly went on your phone, being careful of privating all of your accounts just like they told you, you almost forgot about it but luckily you did it before it was too late.

You sat on the couch with a sigh, and so did Namjoon. Taehyung was looking at you a bit worried, your hands were visibly shaking and it didn’t seem to want to stop anytime soon. He went and brought you a glass of water, which you accepted and drank in one go.

“Do you feel a bit better?”

“Yes, t-thanks a lot.”

“It’s okay. Do you want to play to keep your mind off it?”

“Yes that would be awesome, please.”, he grinned at you and turned on the Xbox and gave you a controller.

“Do you like Overwatch?”

“I don’t play it as much as before but yes I really like it.”

“Great! Let’s play it then, does that work for you?”

“Absolutely! Though I’m not very good anymore.”, both of you chuckled and kept discussing about the game as he turned it on. Soon you were joined by Jin and Jungkook who discussed with you about the game and did a pretty good job at keeping your mind out of the current mess on social media.

Meanwhile RM observed the four of you and he felt his heart singing at the sight of you being in great terms with the other members, but he couldn’t help but be worried about all the mess the announcement was going to create, you weren’t used to all the attention, well a little bit considering your job as a tattoo artist you had to have a public social media, but not of this magnitude.

Yoongi shook him out of his thoughts, putting his hands on his shoulder.

“You okay Nam?”, he looked pretty worried about him, honestly he could understand.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m really scared for him. And for us too obviously.”

“You know, both of you overcame a lot of things. Not everyone could date an idol for so long even if he was one, you’re also still together even with the distance and the time zones. I wouldn’t worry much, as long as you communicate, nothing wrong should happen. And don’t worry about us either, we’re big boys. If they can’t accept you being happily in love well they don’t deserve you.”, Yoongi smiled at him, trying to cheer him up. Namjoon’s lips rose a bit as he nodded.

“You’re right. But I really can’t help it, some people are wild, I’m scared they find his address and go and harass him in his own country too.”, he sighed in frustration. He hated knowing that some people weren’t able to respect the boundaries of public figures, even his parents weren’t sometimes immune to being followed by horrible people who wanted dirt on him or them.

“I understand but honestly, I’m not worried. You’ll get your happy ending with him, I’m sure about it. Come on let’s try to keep our minds off that. You should be happy it’s a respectable fine man you got there”

“You’re acting like an old man Yoongi, I didn’t know you were 50 years old.”, Namjoon chuckled, gently hitting his bandmate’s shoulder.

Yoongi chuckled too and they both stayed here looking at the other members and (Y/N) bantering about which character was the best in Overwatch. He observed your face, as cliché as it was, you were laughing at something Jin had said and Namjoon could swore you were lighting up the whole room with that blinding smile.

At the same moment a mess was created on Twitter and on every other social media where BigHit had published the announcement of the relationship. Namjoon’s phone didn’t stop vibrating and so did the other member’s (they were all logged on the BTS’ official accounts so obviously people were trying to get answers here too) but they all ignored it, in favour of turning it silent.

Obviously their next promotions weren’t going to be quiet so they would like to enjoy some calm. You all had fun for a good while until it was noon. You decided to order food and Namjoon used this time to call his parents, telling them both of you would sleep in the dorm that night (probably for the better at the moment).

The eight of you ate the food, discussing, and you were engrossed in a conversation with Jungkook and Jimin about tattoos. You showed them the big ass tattoos you had on your legs and talked about the others you had on your torso and they showed theirs too.

All in all, you were having a pretty good time with the members, until the inevitable moment where everyone didn’t really know what to say anymore and were just chilling. You were used to checking your phone and you shakily reached for it, looking at all the notifications you got. It seemed that some people found your personal Instagram account really quick and you already had a ton of notifications by people requesting to follow you. You were even @/ by some of them in their publications, some hateful, some pretty wholesome.

Same went for your tattoo shop account, you got a lot of followers and an alarmingly quickly growing number of comments under your last tattoo picture. You sighed tiredly and decided not to deal with it right now and closed the application in favour of playing a game. Namjoon looked at you and put his arm around you and kissed your cheek a few times earning a “Ewww” from Yoongi, whose eyes were shining with mirth as he did that.

You stuck your tongue out to him and went back to cuddle into Namjoon’s side, trying to ignore the growing number of comments and requests. You could feel your anxiety growing and just like earlier, your back was sticking to your shirt and you wished the situation wouldn’t be as scary as it actually was.

____________

A/N: Hope you enoyed this part 2! Don’t hesitate to leave feedbacks and reblog! You can also support my writing on my Kofi ! Take care  (つ≧▽≦)つ

[timextoxhajima]

Grounded: Level 1

Level 0 | Level 2

Member: Minho (Lee Know)

Genre: idol minho x idol trainee reader, angst cause is it a dana fic if there is no angst

Taglist: @jaehyvnsvalentine​​ @licorice526

[O C T O B E R 2 0 1 7]

Now the pain was exquisitely bitter. His shoulders are slumped and he's got those eyebags he has whenever he sleeps one hour every night for a week straight.

And yet, he still manages to spit out that stupid smile when he spots you idling at the entrance of his residence.

"Has BigHit gotten back to you about your second round of audition?"

The sourness in your face overwhelms your nose and eyes, instinct immediately pushing you to run in his direction. Minho quickly slings his duffel bag over his shoulder and behind him, letting you sink your head into his chest as you quietly sob.

"Why are you crying? Even I'm not," Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, you can feel his fingers tapping on your hair.

"That's cause you have a problem with letting your feelings out, you dumb cunt," Your mucus is threatening to slide out and stain his jacket, so you quickly move away and haphazardly wipe it off with the back of your hand. Minho's eyes are tired, and it feels like someone's stabbed your heart with a fork and tried to tear it open.

"Come on, my parents know you're here right? Let's go up and get some food."

Through the small laughters and interesting stories Minho had to share, you can tell by the way his parents look at him eat that they missed him; that they were already proud of him for trying because there was absolutely no way they could've created this specimen of a human by their two hands. Minho had completely personified his entire being into someone that he owns, but right now, he's manifesting that fake, seemingly-emotionless act right before his family and you.

Minho struts into his bedroom, you trailing slowly behind as he trudges his feet. Quietly shutting the door behind you, an interal debate sparks off in your chest. To force Minho to talk or--

The pinch in your heart is particularly challenging to tolerate when you see Minho scoop Doongie up into his arms, sinking to the floor next to his bed when he lets his tears fall. The muscles in your face distort into something torturing to look at in the mirror right next to his bed, the reflection triggering you into more of an emotional mess than he was in. 

Doongie meows, nuzzling her snout into Minho’s hands. The fact that the cat, that usually wouldn’t give two fucks about her owner, was bothering to provide him some attention was threatening to shatter your spirit into a million pieces. You can hear him gulp down the desire to fall apart when he wipes his tears away, and you choose to remain silent, simply resting your head on his shoulder with your arm interlocked with his. 

Gently closing your eyes, his crying gets physically more aggressive when his shoulders start to shake. He remained silent, and yet all you could hear was him cracking open. 

Was it worth picking yourself apart for a dream that is difficult to attain? Why do we subject ourselves to this life - this life of mirrors and camera flashes and headlines that might not speak the truth? You are halfway there, maybe permanently stuck here, and while most people would want that freedom, you choose to subject yourself to those restraints? 

Why?

Why are you so persistent in your dreams and what you love that you put yourself through this intricate torture that does nothing but pulls you apart... and then you’d have to shove your pieces back all together again?

Lee Minho, is it really worth it... breaking my heart so I can watch you travel miles away from me? Is it really worth it... to spend hours and months and years away from me, where I can protect you and tell you it’s okay to cry? Is it really worth it... to sacrifice your own desires for just one thing you want? 

Is this really what you want? 

Is it so hard to realise... that I need you by my side and not on a stage that I’m not on?

His harsh sniffles jolt you out of your inward misery, cuing you to quickly blink back the tears that were alarmingly close to dribbling over your lower lids. 

“I messed up the lyrics.”

Minho chokes himself into a chuckle, and his laughter alone is enough to make to smile to yourself.

“You messed up the lyrics?” Raising your brows out of his sight, you can feel him moving to wipe his face. 

“Yeah.”

“I’m sure Chan would’ve killed you on the spot if he could.”

Minho laughs through an exhale. “He would’ve.”

“So,” A gentle shuffle as Doongie finally shifts her attention away from her owner and to his duffle bag. “What now?”

The boy hums in soft contemplation. “I’m heading back to JYP tomorrow to practise more until he tells me what to do.”

A small pout finds your lips. Is this your impending future too?

“You haven’t told me what happened at your BigHit audition.”

Sitting up, you purse your lips before turning to look at Minho. His eyes are a mixture of red from the crying and dark from the lack of sleep. 

“Should I even bother having this conversation with you since you literally just got back--”

“Yes?!” There is some degree of change in Minho; he doesn’t want you to feel burdened by the need to pity him for being eliminated off the show. “I was a backup dancer for BigHit since I was like, 17. You waltz in at 15, get into the backup crew unit at 16 and get casted?” Minho scoffs, unsatisfied.

“And I can’t even get into JYP.”

You fail to stop the slap that you were landing on his arm.

“See what I mean? I’m not having this conversation with you if you’re going to compare.”

He smiles. 

“Alright, alright. So, seriously though,” He tilts his head forwards so he can meet your eyes. “How did it go? What did they say? Are they calling you back for a second round?”

Taking in a deep breath, your chest puffs out as you lean your head backwards. 

“I just danced for the first audition, and they told me to try and sing something from BTS, so I danced to Not Today while singing it--”

“What? Not Today? While singing it?”

“It was not  a great idea, I’ll tell you that. It was breathy and my volume was inconsistent.”

“Given the amount of Hellish footwork that song has, that’s not a surprise.”

“Right,” You comb your fingers through your hair. “Anyway, they didn’t give me a score or anything. They just thanked me and told me to wait for a call for the results.”

“So... now you’re just waiting?”

You turn to him. “Is there anything else I could do?”

He returns to his original position, back pressed flat against the side of his bedframe and folds his arms. “Well, if they didn’t eliminate you on the spot then I think you have a good chance of being called back for a second round. Companies usually don’t like wasting their time on someone that they don’t find potential in.”

You shrug lifelessly. “I don’t know. I don’t really care... yet, I guess. It’s not a priority. I’m just going because the BigHit assistant manager said I have potential so... I’m just trying to figure out where my potential actually stops.”

“Potential doesn’t stop growing though,” Minho lifts both arms and places both hands behind his neck, elbow touching each other in front of his throat. “Instead of thinking that way, I think you need to start considering if you really want this idol life. Once you’re in it, there’s almost zero chance of you coming back to becoming an ordinary citizen. And besides, word has it that BigHit has plans for a new boy group, right? That makes you, a girl, a new trainee, susceptible to their plans.”

You turn to him in slight surprise and suspicion. “How do you know these kind of things? You sure you don’t train at BigHit?”

Minho laughs wholeheartedly. “Word travels fast in this industry. The idols, managers and CEOs know everything before a single member of the public does.”

Your eyes revert back to his flooring. “I’ll deal with it when the call comes, I guess. I’m like 99% sure they aren’t gonna call me and tell me I got in anyway.”

Minho hums. “We could bet on it.”

His eyes are filled with anticipation – not for himself but for you, and it makes you want to hurl on him because he deserves it so much more than you do.

“Screw off,” Offering a gentle chuckle, you push yourself to your feet. “I’m gonna go home. Call me when you head back to JYP.”

“What for?”

“So I can watch you walk into your death trap of fangirls and paparazzi flashlights.”

“Get your wallet ready, I’m betting fifty.”

“You can ask BigHit for that fifty if I get in.”

Your heart is racing so hard against your chest when you meet those familiar faces again. Those that sit behind that five-meter table with their names printed on silver placards before their hands. The numbers of the digital clock behind them stared down on you like a devil’s eyes emerging from the darkness. 

Among the five judges or audience - or whatever you called them - though, sat Bang Shi Hyuk himself. Gold, round glasses perched on the edge of his nose bridge as it threatened to slip off. One of the panelists was the assistant manager of BTS’ that had handed you the audition card. Another was a choreographer you recognised only because you’ve come to BigHit several times before: he was BigHit’s resident choreographer. The other two were rap and vocal trainers. 

It feels like they were discussing about a price tag to paste on your forehead, then place you on a throne and yell “How much for this one?!”

“y/n?”

The assistant manager’s voice smacks you out of your mid-air sandcastle. Bang Shi Hyuk was leaning over to the choreographer, reading his notes while looking back at his. 

“How are you feeling?”

Bang Shi Hyuk pulls back to his own seat, eyes scanning you above the gold rims of his glasses. The other three panelists have sold their attention to you, the vocal trainer looking like she was struggling to maintain that kindred smile she had on her face, otherwise you might’ve just dropped dead from the anxiety. 

“Um, nervous is an understatement.”

The little smile that curves Bang Shi Hyuk’s lips is miniscule. The atmosphere somehow physically diffuses. 

“Well, you did dance and sing to Not Today in your last audition,” The choreographer speaks up, arranging his notes in a corner and taking a sip of water. Is this it? Have they come to the conclusion that I’m not worth training?

“I-- Well, it’s the only song I know the exact steps and lyrics to.”

“Have more confidence in yourself and you don’t need to worry too much about steps.”

The assistant manager looks over the choreographer sitting next to him and eyes the CEO of the biggest boyband in K-Pop. 

The mirror behind them was only displaying the tiredness that was seeping from your limbs. You’ve never heard of an audition where they allowed the auditionee to look themselves in the mirror, but of course, there was a camera sat right behind Bang Shi Hyuk’s head.

Your palms are sweating, and your knees probably slightly bruised after you performed a bit from GOT7′s Hard Carry, only because Minho had made you learn it with him in your free time. 

The goodbye between you and Minho wasn’t teary or saddening, but it sure as Hell felt like shit when Minho was walking off into such an uncertain future - only for you to receive that phone call for the second audition just minutes after he leaves. 

“What made you do Hard Carry? It’s not an easy song.”

“I... I know the exact choreography but not the lyrics.”

“Would you rather a song that you know the steps to or the lyrics?” The vocal trainer leans over her notes. 

“Um,” I’m a dancer. Of course the steps. “The steps. I’m not over the top with singing... or rapping, for that matter.”

Bang Shi Hyuk finally stops the questioning when he pulls off his glasses and leans back in his seat. 

“We are in the midst of training a group of male trainees for a boy-group debut in 2019, and our previous group is BTS who debuted back in 2013. It’s a big gap. This means that there might be a chance that we’ll only be debuting a girl group - if it even is a girl group - in...” He shrugs his shoulders. “2025? Maybe later?”

“2025?” You blurt out at the mention of the year. 

“If you’re not up for this plausible plan then--”

“Uh,” The assistant manager actually interrupts Bang Shi Hyuk. You’d expect the CEO to be pissed or at least, unhappy, but all he does is blink at the assistant manager and leans forward. 

The assistant manager whispers something to the CEO, leaving you burning with questions. You couldn’t decide if you were more nervous if they turned you away, or if they still remained you the question of waiting for eight long years. 

The low-volume conversation finally fades to a stop when Bang Shi Hyuk pulls away, the assistant manager looking more anxious than before he said anything. 

“I wasn’t much present at all the performances you did back-up for BTS, but Mr Son has informed me that you were pulled out from some 700 auditions and even out of the 20 girls that made it to the dance crew, he only asked you to come for the audition.”

Wait, 700?

“This is the same man who scouted half of BTS, so I trust him when he says you’re someone worth training. But I must know this, are you willing to pull through with this? You’ll have a whole file of contract to read, years of training and even after debuting, you must be aware that there are things you cannot do.”

Of course. Because my best friend is walking straight into this same situation. I’m losing him to this file of contract, will I choose to further the distance by taking one for myself too?

Before you can respond, the assistant manager looks at you with soft eyes. “You don’t have to respond now, but we do need to know if first - you’re interested to become a trainee. You’ll be on probationary training for about two to three years, see how you get along with the other female trainees and only when we have decided to debut a girl group with a confirmed number of members then we will have you sign the group contract.”

“Hold on,” Your tongue is dry. “Does that mean I--”

“You passed the audition. Say ‘yes’ now, and you’ll be a BigHit trainee.”

The force of the revelation feels like someone’s dropped a brick on your head with a post-it on it saying “CONGRATULATIONS!”

“Do I have time to think about this?”

Bang Shi Hyuk already doesn’t look that interested. But the assistant manager nods and offers you a pursed grin. 

“We’ll wait for your answer, so take your time and weigh your options. We don’t want our trainees walking into something they don’t know everything about.”

A deep breath fills your lungs. The words were spoken to you, but why is it that you see Minho’s face in the mirror, because he is what you’re worried about?

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Chapter 5

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: You go to BigHit for your second interview and are surprised to learn the client is a familiar face. 

Author’s Note: TY everyone for reading <3 I am here for the awkward flirtation in this chapter XD

Previous chapter here ---------

You returned to your jobs for the next few days without hearing anything. On Tuesday you received an email **Google Calendar invitation: Audition/Final interview. Very Personal Assistant. BTS Corporate Accept/Decline**

You found yourself strangely nervous as you prepared for the interview. You didn’t actually think you would get this far. You picked out a basic black dress and some cute flats for the day before you left the house. Personal assistant/girlfriend/wife wasn’t exactly a job you had interviewed for before. You found it difficult to focus at your desk all morning; your stomach doing flip-flops. Would you be meeting with Dimples...er...Namjoon again or would you be meeting the client? You had said you didn’t care what the guy looked like, and that was true, but you would like to meet a person and speak to them before making such a big commitment. Before you knew it, the time had come. You hopped onto the subway and headed for the middle of the city.

You entered the BigHit Building with sweaty hands and were waived over to the front desk where a Security guard verified your information. Your throat was so dry you had difficulty answering basic questions. Great. You headed over to the elevator. As you were waiting for it to come down you noticed a tall man wearing a baseball cap stride confidently into the building and right past security. He walked over to the elevators and stood next to you. You glanced up at him. Holy shit that was the famous model, V.  You quickly looked back at the elevator door. You had totally forgotten that models worked here. I guess If I end up working here stuff like that is just normal, you thought to yourself.  The two of you entered the elevator.

“What floor?” He asked, his voice deeper than you would have guessed. You had only seen him in print ads, although you knew he had done some commercials as well.

“22nd please.” You willed your voice to stay calm. How dare a super gorgeous model invade your space and make you nervous when you were already nervous.

“Me too,” he flashed a smile. A very cute smile that made him almost look like a little kid.  He turned back to face the doors saving you from making any awkward small talk.

The ride lasted about a minute, with a few other people entering and exiting. By the time you arrived at the 22nd floor it was just the two of you again. V was a gentleman and gestured for you to exit before him. You did, but then you had to pause and decide which way to go. You looked for a directory. 

“Namjoon’s office is on the right, Jin’s is on the left. And since Jin is out of the country, I’m guessing you’re on your way to Namjoon’s.” V said as he strolled off the elevator and to the right.

“Thanks.” You follow him. “I am meeting with Mr. Kim today. I appreciate the directions.”

“Any time. Hey Jimin.” he said as the two of you entered a wide open area with couches, window views, and a large reception desk. A man who also looked like he could be a model was sitting there, his blonde hair styled absolutely perfectly. “Hey V.” He responded without looking up.

V looked over at you with a grin, pointing to Jimin, then shrugged his shoulders . He found this situation funny. You walked over to the desk. “Umm Excuse me. "

Jimin jumped back in his chair, very surprised. “Shit. where did you come from?”

“I’m so sorry,” you said, covering your mouth with your hands.  V laughed in the background. “We got off the elevator at the same time. You must not have seen or heard me.”

“V. You did that on purpose!” Jimin shouted around you, pointing his finger. V cackled and had a seat on one of the sofas.  

You were beginning to apologize again when you heard the office door open. You all froze.

 “What the hell is going on out here?” Namjoon asked, one hand still on the door. “[Y/N] I should have known.” Jimin turned around surprised that his boss was speaking to you so rudely and casually. “Get in here,” he gestured to the door opening. Jimin opened his mouth to try and explain the commotion, but you were already on your way to the door.

“Oh my God I’m here for an interview, not to get called into the principal’s office.” You responded as you passed Namjoon and into his office.

Jimin and V both stared at each other, determined not to laugh. 

Namjoon stood there with an irritated expression. “Always. Always with the mouth.” He said as you walked through the door. He looked back, “Jimin, hold my calls until I tell you.”

Jimin nods. The minute the door shut he and V started to wheeze while trying to laugh quietly.

V walked over to the desk . “Who is that?” 

“They’re interviewing assistants for Yoongi. The other girl left half an hour ago.” Jimin pauses for a second, “I can’t believe I yelled "shit" at her.”

V laughed again. “She doesn’t seem like the type to be easily offended. So she’s probably a perfect assistant for Yoongi.”

“That’s true.” Jimin agreed. 

On the other side of the door you were still congratulating yourself on your quip against Namjoon when you were surprised to see a familiar face. It was the guy who left his headphones behind last week. Today he was dressed nicer, wearing jeans and a shirt with a vest. His hair was longer than you would have guessed, now that it was free from the black baseball cap. You felt your heart begin to speed up even more.

You had gotten so caught up in accidentally scaring the poor receptionist and messing with Namjoon you had forgotten you were nervous. A fact that you were very much aware of at this exact moment. Your hands were wet and sweaty again and your throat became dry.

“[Y/N] this is music producer Min Yoongi. Aka Suga. Aka the client.” Namjoon gestured to the shorter man and then walked around to the other side of his room, taking a seat at his desk.

You stand there for a few seconds, taking it all in, and then remember that you are being interviewed. You force something out, "Hey there stranger." 

He smirked, “Hey. Welcome to round 2 of the interview I guess.” He sounded almost shy. Which didn’t match his facial expression. 

“Thanks. Are you our chaperone? " You called over to Namjoon who was sitting there barely paying attention to the meeting and scrolling through his phone

" Something like that. Pretend I’m not even here.”

"OK. Well it's nice to officially meet you, Min Yoongi. I'm Y/N. I'd shake your hand but mine are so very sweaty. " You said before you were able to censor yourself. 

You heard Namjoon sigh as your lack of decorum. Yoongi just continued on as though everything was normal. 

"You as well.” He put his hands in his pockets and rocked on his feet slightly. “First of all, do you have any questions for me?" 

You weren't expecting the interview to begin like that. But there definitely were some questions you had about all of this. 

"Ooo I get to interview you? This is unexpected.” You paused for several seconds, pursing your lips together in thought, “Ok. I got it! First question: You're good looking. You seem nice enough. I’m guessing you have a pretty good job if you’re working here, so….what's wrong with you? 

Yoongi stood there for a minute with his mouth open. To your surprise, he responded in a whiny voice," Why would you ask me something like that?" He sounded much younger and more casual than he had before and started to rub the back of his neck.

He turned back to Namjoon, “You weren’t kidding.”

Namjoon just raised his eyebrows, still scrolling.

You scoffed," You told me to ask you questions. An arranged marriage was your first choice? Really?" 

Yoongi tried to play it cool. He had come up with his BigHit-sanctioned backstory. "Namjoon, where did you find this girl again?” You couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

"I picked her up in a bar. I warned you. You pulled her resume," he said almost bored. "Although it is refreshing to have her go after someone else for a change." 

You rolled your eyes. "Why tell me to ask you questions if you didn't want to answer them?" 

Yoongi shrugged, ready to sell the lie. "It makes sense. I gave a list of what I liked and the agency picked you. I'm busy. I'm not interested in dating, but due to circumstances beyond my control I am in need of a long term companion. Someone to attend events with me, travel with me, etcetera etcetera. You read the job description. "

"You want someone to act like your girlfriend?" You asked. Yoongi pulled at his shirt sleeves and hesitated for a moment.

He didn't actually want any of this bullshit, but for the sake of his career and with Namjoon sitting right there, he didn't have a lot of options. He took a deep breath. "Yes. That. I mean a wife would be ideal so we could just skip over all that courtship nonsense."

A dry laugh escaped your lips, "A true romantic. I'm touched, really." You realized the two of you were both still standing. This was by far the strangest interview you had ever been on. "I'm curious as to what your desired qualifications were outside of liking music and a proficiency in Microsoft Word." 

Yoongi paused for a minute, feeling his cheeks blush a little. Surely a little honesty wouldn't hurt. "Ahhh well you see, I can't reveal all of that to you. But you definitely stood out in the interview process.”

You smirked. "Really? What stands out about an average-looking girl that curses too much and drinks waaaay too much shitty coffee?" 

"Shitty coffee wasn't on the list but surely you met most of my criteria or you wouldn't be here." He cleared his throat. "Now it's my turn to ask some questions. Let's start where you did: tell me, what's wrong with you?"

You fidgeted slightly. You sure as hell weren’t going to go into the whole situation with Suho. "My parents are gone and left me and my younger siblings with no money. We're living in a cramped apartment with my aunt and niece. I want to send my sister and brother to school and I want my brother to not have to sleep on the floor or couch every night.” Your honest answers flooded out of you, “I didn't think this offer was real. I figured it would be some weird sex pervert thing or something illegal but I figured it couldn't hurt to go to the interview since it was at a Cafe."

To your absolute shock he responds, "Who says I'm not some weird sex pervert?" He swipes his lips with a tongue.

He had seemed almost shy until about two seconds ago. You kept the same expression you had been wearing. Two could play that game. Your years of bartending made you fluent in flirting. You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, "Guess we'll find out on the wedding night. I need to get back to work soon. Do you have any more questions for me?"

Yoongi was still slightly shocked by the last exchange the two of you had had and he just shook his head.

Namjoon got up from his desk. " Good, I can’t take much more of you two lovebirds discussing your future sex life. Well if that's all, you're free to go. We'll be in touch." 

You picked up your bag and looked over at Yoongi who was looking down and blushing (?!). "I'd say it was nice to meet you but honestly it's just been really fucking weird." 

He laughed and you noticed he has a very unique smile, full of small straight teeth and the tiniest bit of his gums. Cute. He looked back up, his cheeks still a little pink. "I guess if it works out I'll have my people call your people." 

You smiled back, "Yeah, yeah something like that. See you later. Or never again. Bye" 

“You’re not supposed to say the word “fucking” in a job interview Tokki, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Yoongi heard Namjoon scold you on the way out the door as he closed it behind him.

You pouted your lips, “Whatever. I think Mr. Min liked it. And are we back to nicknames again Asshole?I thought we were trying to keep it professional here.”

He rolls his eyes but you can tell he’s trying not to smile. “Oh my God just leave. I’ll email you more information soon.” 

You looked around and found the reception area empty with a little "out of office" sign on the desk. You had wanted to apologize for the interruption earlier. Oh well. You realized that Namjoon had told you he would be emailing you. And you had definitely got a good vibe from the interview, as weird as it had been. You got onto the elevator. You decided you would need to at least tell your Aunt soon about the job you might get so she wouldn’t be totally blind-sided if you moved out. 

-----------------------

"So…" Namjoon asked as he re-entered his office, "Were either of those ladies tolerable? I mean… I know the second one isn't really tolerable on a good day but it seemed like it went well.”

"Yeah. Hire her. Thanks." Yoongi responded, trying to ensure his voice remained emotionless. "When is her start date?"

Namjoon was pleasantly surprised at how easy this part of the process is going. "If she accepts she could begin Monday, but she would probably want to give her other jobs two weeks notice, and she has to move. So realistically, two to three weeks" 

"OK…" Yoongi said, coming to terms that this was actually happening.

"I'll draw up the paperwork and send it to her tomorrow and let you know." Namjoon replied. He realized this was the longest he and Yoongi had ever had a conversation without arguing about something. 

"Yeah OK," Yoongi headed towards the door. "Later." 

Yoongi passed through the empty reception area and down to his studio. He put his head in his hands and sighed. So this was happening. Fine. [Y/N] seemed nice enough. Her heart was in the right place. She hadn't even mentioned herself when the reason she wanted the job came up. He could deal with this. He sat down at his computer to try and get some actual work done today. NEXT CHAPTER

@lidda  @anpanman-sonyeondan  @firefairy1  @cuteipat​  @sugaslittlekookies

[strwberrytae]

So Long, Farewell, and Goodbye For Now -

“I don’t know how you are so familiar to me—or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before—in another time, a different place, some other existence.”     - Lang Leav

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Hello, You ♡ Yes, You. You ethereal, beautiful being. I am writing to you with bittersweet yet wonderful news - depending on the perspective. I am writing this post to inform all of you that I will no longer be writing for this blog for the foreseeable future. What I mean by that is that I am not giving up writing forever, no. But my life has changed so much over the last two years, I do not see myself writing again for quite some time. But don’t worry! I will be back!

Below the Read More section, I have poured my heart and soul into the real reasons why I’ve made this decision. I warn you, it’s lengthy but it’s everything that has led up to this over the years. So, if you fancy, have a read. If not, I bid you farewell and wish you all the happiness in the world. Thank you for supporting me so far. I truly appreciate it and love you all very dearly. Now, if you wish to read it at a later time, I will have a link available on my page at all times for anyone who is curious. It’s a hell of a story if you ask me ~

Edit: Made by Me - also, a surprise photo at the end Warnings/Triggers: Talks of emotional abuse, depression, and suicide but also happiness and love -

When I first started this blog, it was 2016. I had been on Tumblr for over a decade now but BTS led me to writing passionately for 2 years. I was incredibly active and utterly consumed by this website. Not just for the writing, but I was so obsessed because of my friends and mutuals that I made along the way. Can I just say that I’ve met some incredible people on this platform - including my best friend and soulmate? Truthfully, the absolute best friend I have ever had. But more importantly, Tumblr was my greatest escape. I mean this website truly has been my saving grace through very dark times.

In that part of my life, I was in an extremely toxic relationship; by then, it was 6 years I was with him. He was emotionally abusive, had such a short-fuse temper, hated everyone I knew which led me never really seeing any of my friends after college, knew I was anorexic and did nothing to stop me, knew I had depression since we started dating and always argued it as if it wasn’t real, crushed my dreams and ambitions, mocked potential suicide attempts, expected me to just abandon all hope to ever leave home to explore someplace new or get a job that I actually love. He was...just the worst. Never hit me though, so I’m grateful for that. But sometimes I wish he would so it would have given me the voice I needed to get out of that relationship much sooner than I did. But regardless, because of him plus having a soul-sucking job that wore me down to the core, Tumblr was my escape. BTS was my escape.

I fell hard and I fell deep. I created a fantasy world within this world. All of my dreams, fantasies, desires, and hopes were poured into my writing. My imagination was running wild. My activity was through the roof because I was always on here day in and out, just pretending like the outside world didn’t exist. It consumed me...but I needed it. Looking back, it was pretty excessive. At the time, I seemed perfectly normal because everyone else was just as active and saying the same things and doing the same things. I felt a belonging, like I fit in.

But I hated the person I became. It took me getting yelled at, mocked, ridiculed, and belittled by my ex to snap me out of that illusion I built and back into reality. That was the roughest night that we had filled with lots of screaming on his end and crying on my part. He thought my obsession was sick. He thought it was disgusting. It all started because he found fake texts I had made with Jimin and Tae. Don’t recall the story it was a part of but he thought they were texts with the actual members… In my eyes, I should get credit for making them look so legit but he didn’t see it that way. He thought fangirling over men was essentially cheating. No matter how hard I tried to explain, he didn’t understand. But a part of his view was right. I learned that I was a bit too much into it and I really needed to take a step back from Tumblr for a while. So I did. I deactivated my account and disappeared for months. Also because he made me and threatened our relationship if I didn’t. Should have taken the out but ah well.

Just two months prior to this incident, I attempted suicide. Well, contemplated. Everything was planned out. Bought a hotel room for Thanksgiving night as I was working a super late shift until about 1-2am. My commute home was an hour long and I still had to come back to work at 7am. So I got a room. Brought a large amount of pills with me and I was going to call it. No notes written to friends, family, or loved ones. Nothing. I was done. Didn’t think anyone would miss me. I just figured the world would keep turning without me. I had thought about doing this several times before but this was my first time making plans for it. It was my lowest of the low. But then I met someone that night that changed my life entirely just in a 10 minute interaction of talking - nothing special. We’ll get to that later. But this person just gave me hope and to this day, I still can’t explain it. It was euphoric. I felt clarity. It was in that night that I thought I might hold out just a little bit longer.

And thus @strwberrytae was born - but it was far from the same. At first, I restarted the blog in secret. Why would I do this? Why would a 25 year old open a blog in secret? Well, two months after the awful fight, my ex proposed to me and I said yes. I know. Believe me, I know. I was scared. My depression was getting worse again. I no longer had an escape except for books. All I did was read so I had some sort of reality to be in besides my own. But returning to a brand new blog did not give the same satisfaction as returning to an old blog.

I worked so hard on my first blog and this redo, I tried to consider it as a gift. Perhaps this was a chance to start anew and rebrand myself. This optimism kept up for quite some time. Slowly, I added my favorite past works then added some new chapters. If you’ve been here with me since 2017, you would know that my appearance on Tumblr was still not the same. Then I got married in October.

An empty, loveless marriage that I regret to this day. Needless to say, my writing and activity on Tumblr was still practically non-existent as I was still too scared of getting caught. Even though he finally gave me permission to use it again because he could tell how miserable it was making me. Yes, gave me permission. Thankfully, it all ended after a year. I finally went to a therapist even though I hated them so much and all past therapists I had. She was pretty great. Within five sessions, I summoned the courage to break up with this guy. I was finally set free. Nearly 9 years together and I finally felt like I could breathe.

Unfortunately, although I was free, I had to live with the guy for about 5 months after the breakup. Which was beyond rough, believe me. Imagine someone writhing in pain and bawling their eyes out and venting non-stop about all of their faults and wrongdoings every single day. At the end of the day, as shitty as he was to me, he was my best friend too. We went through a lot of shit together and he did have some good sides to him too. So witnessing this was horrendous. Needless to say, I wasn’t getting much privacy either. Writing was not my top priority. Now it’s 2019 and things changed drastically for the better - and worst.

Remember the person I met in 2016 on Thanksgiving night? Well, that person is someone I crushed on every since that night. For 2 years. People, I’m telling you. He did absolutely nothing special that night. He didn’t flirt with me. He didn’t check me out. He didn’t do anything remotely to make a girl swoon but I was so drawn to him. The only word that could describe it was “cosmic” - beautifully cosmic. 

Well in January 2019, 2 months following my break up, he came into my store one day. And my god did he look incredible. He was dressed head to toe in black - a fitted black suit at that. He even wore this long, designer jacket to match. Hair shaved on the sides with beautiful, thick dark hair on top. So tall - 182cm. A smile that could kill; quite literally. The canines are on point. He looked like a five course meal. That day, he definitely flirted with me. By the end of the week, we had our first date. Sadly, I also lost my job in the same week and was unemployed for a year because no one would hire me. I was laid off and one of my seniors took my job. Of course, they needed to keep me around for the holidays and then give me the boot. I was devastated. I hated that job so much as it only aided in fueling my depression but losing it was definitely an amazing thing. And! I survived on my savings and definitely didn’t spend my time writing. I had life to sort out last year - like from the ground up. No worries though. I got a job in February 2020 and I love it, so it’s all good, baby. Now I’m in the health field and feel like I’m actually helping people, which I love.

Now, here we are 2 years later and I’m engaged to the man.  Someone who makes me smile everyday, believes in me, encourages me, let’s me be 100% myself, travels with me, taught me how to love myself, taught me to accept my body, gets me on a level that only my best friend could, and someone who goes above and beyond every single day to show me how much he loves me. Bonus, he welcomes my love for BTS with open arms, reads my writing, AND has even been sucked in himself to the fandom. Jungkook and Jimin, look out. You got another fanboy. I thought true love was impossible for me but I was very, very wrong.

He has shown me that I can be happy and I have finally experienced true happiness. When people ask how I’m doing, I don’t cringe and lie through my teeth. I smile and say that I am doing well because by George, I am. Everyone around me has seen me over the last two years and made the comment, “you look so much happier”. They meet him and swoon just as much as I do. Is he perfect? No, he’s not. He has flaws just like everyone else but he actually grows and learns from his mistakes to better himself. That’s what amazes me the most. Even if we argue, which is seldom, he refuses to let it go without resolution so we can always fix whatever the issue is. As we like to call it, we’re in-sync. In everything, we’re always so in-sync. I’m wildly in love, my dudes.

So, why am I not writing anymore? To put it simply, I’m happy and don’t really feel the desire to write anymore - at least not fanfiction. Even when I was super young, like elementary school, I used writing as an outlet for my dark escape. I wrote poetry primarily and by middle school, it turned to fanfiction for Supernatural, Simple Plan, and Panic! At The Disco. Along with a very long list of other bands and shows but anyways. I’ve been severely depressed since I was 15 and fanfiction put me in this hole that I couldn’t get out of. I relied on this method to help me get through all the bad shit I was dealing with. It was my coping mechanism.

Now? While depression never truly goes away as the lovely disease that it is, I am genuinely happy. Because of this, when I opened all of my past works and works in progress, I felt nothing but guilt. Guilt for not keeping up with my chapters or keeping my account active. I felt dread to have to escape in this world that I had created. I felt no joy or excitement. It was the strangest feeling that happened all in a matter of seconds. Thus leading to my final decision to take a step away from writing. Do I still love it? Absolutely. But now I think I’m going to re-route and focus my writing on what I love - reality. I’m going to get back into journaling and write essays about love and beauty as I’ve always loved to do. But for escaping into a fantasy world? I don’t know when I’ll be back.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “But you can write and be happy!” Nah fam. Writing has been my aid through dark times and now I mostly associate it with those dark times. And for once in my life, I feel this desire to enjoy reality and remain in it - with the exception of journaling here and there. Even daydreaming is difficult. It’s strange. I love my reality. This sounds like gloating now but it’s truly a remarkable feeling. When you’ve been battling depression for 15 years, it feels really freaking nice to say that I’m happy.

So that’s why I’m taking a break - in a very long, drawn out way. But my hope was that after this long story, you might understand truly why I am doing this. It would have been easier to just say that writing doesn’t bring me joy anymore but I feel that I owe more than that; especially because I really don’t know if I’ll write for this blog ever again. The last time I took a break, I disappeared without being able to explain myself and I wanted to do so now that I have the chance.

Ultimately, thank you to everyone who has stuck by me over the years. It’s truly been one hell of a rollercoaster. The friends I’ve made on here have seen me at my lowest of the lows. But hey! I’ll still be around. I just won’t be publishing or continuing any of my works anywhere in the near future. Seriously though. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This website has helped me tremendously and I’ll never forget it. Besides, there’s lots of other exciting things happening in my life now so you’ll certainly see me pop in here and there to talk about it ♡

If you wish, you can message me for questions or anything you want to know. I’m an open book - at least about most things hehe. And don’t worry. I still very much love Taehyung and still wildly obsessing over how marvelous he is. Umf.

(here’s some recent photos of me as i rarely take selfies anymore haha. and a derp photo of me and the man i love >_< why is the cutest photo of him with the worst photo of me? still cute though hehe)

[softyoongiionly]

Talk to Me in Korean (Limited Edition)

(GIF isn’t mine!)

Your boyfriend knows English very well however, there are certain phrases he isn’t quite familiar with...

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

A/N: guys...this is what happens when I suppress my love for Jungkook. Enjoy the ride. 

**ALL ITALICIZED WORDS INDICATE WHEN THE CHARACTERS ARE SPEAKING KOREAN***

Warnings: smut, language, 18+ over only please :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jungkook’s face is buried in your chest, his strong, toned arms wrapped around you, holding you tightly to the warmth of his body.

Last night, when he got in, he was completely and utterly exhausted. His normally doe-like expression was plagued with dark under eye circles and, slightly puffier red cheeks, no doubt from his 17 hour work day.

Jungkook never really knew when to quit. He didn’t know how to rest, how to pause, until he met you.

You grounded him and, kept him sane.

Through the fairytales that played out in his daily life, there were also scarier stories, darker stories scattered between them: Stories of Jungkook passing out due to overexertion, skipping meals to fit the desired number on the scale and, constant, never-ending self-depreciation.

Jungkook is different now however, he knows how to pause.

In fact, he kind of likes it.

A break, no matter how short, was long overdue for the man currently snoring between your breasts.

It was long over-due for the six other men who slept soundly in their bedrooms.

The news of the break broke to him recently, after months of negotiating.

Jungkook had rushed home, practically tripping through the front door to break the news to you, his smile wide, eyes crinkled in utter joy.

“Noona!” He had said, placing clumsy kisses against your lips, “We’re taking a break. No working for a whole month, isn’t that amazing?”

You had been in disbelief, completely shocked at the news but, you giggled and accepted his eager lips, kissing him with all of the joy you could muster.

Their final concert was last night and, you were thankfully able to get the night off work to come and support him.

He had been incredible.

He always is.

But now, nuzzled so, so closely against your chest, lips pursed against your skin, body vibrating ever so slightly with his snoring, he wasn’t Jungkook of BTS.  He wasn’t the golden maknae who could do no wrong or the incredibly sinful heartthrob you had seen gallivanting on the stage the night before.

Although, he still looked the part.

He was just, Jungkook.

The man who you met in the most cliché coffee shop during a thunderstorm, nearly 2 years ago, the man who laughs at vine compilations at 2am, the man who proudly shows you his Overwatch achievements and literally begs you to watch him ‘beat this noob into a pulp’, the man who makes everything a bet or a challenge, the man who cried when he confessed his love for you and, consistently showers you with affection whenever the two of you were in private. 

The love of your life.

You look down at him, smiling gently at the mass of black hair on his head. He had been growing it out and, you weren’t complaining, he looked amazing.

As you place a gentle kiss on his head, you literally feel him smile against your chest, his arms tightening around you. It’s almost as if he realizes once again, that he doesn’t have to be anywhere today. His legs move underneath the covers to intertwine with your own. You try your best to ignore the toned muscles as they seem to flex and unflex with his movements.

“Are you ok?” You whisper to him, fingers coming up to gently comb through his black tresses, your lips placing another kiss on his head.

The smile doesn’t wane but, he returns your gesture by placing a kiss on your chest, nuzzling into your further.

 He doesn’t speak, he just nods.

You giggle, nails tenderly scratching at his head, one of his many weaknesses.

Jungkook feels himself melting, the sensation of your hand utterly intoxicating, everything feels so gentle.

“Did you sleep good?” You whisper again, slowly coaxing him awake with your touch. Your other hand begins tracing shapes against the bare skin of his back thus, causing him to melt further into you.

He nods, his lips pressing to you again.  

Another giggle passes your lips as you draw hearts on the expanse of his toned back, admiring the curves and dips of his muscles.

He truly is the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen and, you seriously can’t believe he’s all yours.

“Noona?” His voice finally makes an appearance and, it ruins you.

Tender and scratchier than normal, sweetness dripping off the ends of it…

“Yeah?” You whisper, smoothing a thumb over his forehead as he looks up at you.

His bunny teeth make an appearance as he lets a delighted grin take over his features, “Today is…my break huh?”

His English is improving everyday, he started learning it seriously nearly a year ago, after he knew you were the one.

“It’s the first day of your break, yeah…are you excited?”  You comb his fluffy black hair away from his face, trying not to explode with fondness.

He nods eagerly, smiling still as he leans into your lips, kissing you deeply, “I can’t believe it…I get to stay inside today, with you…”

His kisses increased in frequency as he starts pecking at your lips over and over, causing you to giggle as you accept each one.

“Mm…I love when you laugh…it’s so cute…” He hums, still kissing you but, his lips are moving slowly as his hands grip your waist, nose nudging against yours, “so cute…”

You feel something stir inside of you, something warm and intoxicating.

“What do you want to do today? We can do whatever you want…” You murmur against his lips, fingers still tending to his scalp, your movements giving him goosebumps.

A playful smirk is on his mouth now as he nudges your nose again, “We are doing it now…”

“You want to kiss all day?” You affirm and, he giggles this time, slowly beginning to roll onto his back, taking you with him as he does.

“Maybe…with other things too…” His tone is slightly more sultry, his wide-eyed gaze captivating you as you settle on top of him. He lets out a shakier breath through pursed lips as his hands rest on the tops of your thighs.

You smirk, a finger hooking underneath his chin, guiding his gaze to your own, “What kind of things?”

He returns your smirk, his hands sliding further up your thighs, his cheeks dusting pink at your question, “You know…”

His confidence is waning slightly as it usually does when you’re on top of him, Jungkook had trouble expressing his desires and, even after all this time, you still make him nervous.

“I don’t think I do Kookie…will you tell me?” You tease and, you feel yourself growing slightly damp as he begins to plump up against your panties.

“It’s dirty…I don’t know it in English…” He’s practically pouting, his satoori coming through as he speaks to you in his native language.

You’d been learning Korean slightly longer than he’s been learning English so, you understand him perfectly.

“Tell me like this then….” You respond and, Jungkook’s gotta admit, hearing you speak his language turns him on.

“I want to fuck you…” His tone is deeper now but, he giggles at the end of his sentence, shocked by the contents of his own sentence.

You laugh with him, grinding down onto his growing erection, causing him to groan, “You’re bolder in Korean…”

He smirks, his thumbs pushing against the skin on your inner thigh, “I’m a man deprived Noona, forgive me, I’ve gone without your touch for so long…”

Jesus.

You’ve never done this before.

Jungkook lets his Korean slip out in the heat of the moment but, you’ve never heard him talk dirty in his native tongue before.

It was driving you crazy.

And, Jungkook, as smug as he was, could tell…

“Do you like this Noona? When I talk to you like this? Does it make you hot?” He practically whines his words, knowing how weak his submission makes you. His hands roam further up your thighs as he presses his hips up to yours.

You nod, biting your lip as you stare down at him, running your nails gently over the tops of his forearms, trying to stimulate him in some way.

He smirks again, delighting in his effect on you, he isn’t used to being the dirty one, that’s normally your job but, he’s getting off on it.

He wants to tell you how bad he wants you…

“You know how much I ache for you right? When I’m away…I play every night and, I think of you…” He breathes his confession, strong and capable hips grinding deliberately against your core. You can feel his hardness even more so, he’s practically throbbing beneath you.

“You play?” You question, encouraging him to elaborate, addicted to the sound of his voice.

He giggles again, mischief and satisfaction gracing his features, he couldn’t remember a time when he felt so free, he always holds back but, this time he wouldn’t, this time, he would lay it all out, “I touch my cock. I play with it so much and, I think of you. I think of your body, your perfect body…you’re so soft Noona, you know that? I have to bite down on my hand Noona…so I don’t whine too loud…”

The two of you are riding against each other slowly, savoring each wave of pleasure that’s washing over you, “And do you cum for me?”

A delighted smirk is on his pouty mouth and, he hums happily, nodding, his hands securing themselves on your hips, guiding you against him, “I ruin my underwear for you everytime…”

You’re ruining your own underwear at the moment but, you couldn’t care less, the slow, aching build up between your legs is worth making a mess of the sheets.

“Noona? Are you hot? Is that why you’re moving against me like this? It feels good Noona, it makes me crazy…” He’s breathless at this point but, he shows no sign of slowing. His hair, parted down the middle is growing messier and messier as he pushes his head against the pillow.

You nod, biting your lip, trying to breathe through your nose, eyes alight with pure lust, “You’re so hard jagi… it must be hurting now.”

He almost grimaces but, the pleasure on his face is too strong, “I like it when it hurts Noona…you know that…”

You pull your t-shirt off as the heat radiating over your body becomes too much, Jungkook groans at the sight of you, his eyes darkening as he thrusts up against.

“Oh Noona…look at you…” He keens, his hands leaving your hips to palm your breasts, his touch becoming rushed and greedy.

It had been too long, an entire month to be exact, since the last time the two of you were intimate and, you could feel desperation brewing inside of you.

“I can’t tease anymore…I really need to feel you…” You’re back to English now, your focus not sharp enough to speak a different language

And apparently, Jungkook is in the same boat…

An uncharacteristic smirk appears on his mouth, as he leans up towards you, his hands steadying you against him as he lingers near your mouth, his breath leaving his lips in shallow pants, “What are you waiting for then? Put me where I belong…”

You smash your mouth against him and, the kiss is hard and sloppy but, neither of you care. Your hand frantically slips between your bodies and, into the opening in Jungkook’s tight black boxers. He smiles into your mouth, shuddering as he feels your touch, his hips pushing eagerly against your hand.

He assists you, shaky fingers hooking under the side of you panties pulling them aside, looking up at you through his long lashes, a ravenous glint in his eyes, “This is mine…”

Normally, you’d admonish his language, the power is usually in your favor but, this time, you give it to him.

He’s earned it.

“It’s yours…” You breathe, sucking his bottom lip into your mouth, fingers pushing his hair back, tugging on it slightly, your other hand squeezing his cock gently. “And this is mine…”

He giggles, delusional for you, his mouth hanging open for you, “Yes Noona…all yours…for your pleasure…”

You suck nibble on his lip as he scoots back against the head board, his strength impressive as always.

The two of you tense slightly as you begin sliding down on him, never breaking eye contact but, Jungkook’s eyes are glazing over, a lazy fucked out smile still on his face.

“It’s so hot inside…it makes my heart pound Noona…”

His satoori is so thick at this point that you’re having trouble understanding him but, it doesn’t matter.

The feeling of him inside of you is so euphoric, it gives you chills.

Slowly, you begin sliding up and down his length, the feeling completely out of this world.

Jungkook is smiling all the while, its boyish and content, his hands clutching to you, toned stomach muscles quivering with the sensations assaulting his body.

“Pleasure…pleasure…pleasure…all you give me is pleasure Noona…I’m so weak for you, no one else Noona…ah” He whimpers at the end of his sentence but, it’s intentional, he’s trying to drive you wild, he’s letting himself be filthy for once.

He feels drunk.

You breathe shakily in return, your pace increasing as you seek to turn his brain to mush, “You like it when your Noona fucks you don’t you? It feels good huh? Did you miss it?”

Jungkook stares up at you with the same glazed, fucked out expression, “Missed it…missed you…so good.”

He’s back to English but, you already miss his Korean, you didn’t realize how much it would affect you.

His hips are powerful as they fuck up into you, the tip of him curving sinfully against your g-spot, your orgasm beginning to build inside of you.

Jungkook notices this, he notices the details, every single one, “Oh did I hit a good spot Noona? Inside? I’m a good boy yeah? I always know where it is huh?”

The smirk is back but, the twitching of his cock leads you to believe that he’s nearing his finish as well, the pleasure swimming through his veins.

“You’re such a good boy Jungkook…so good for me…” You whisper, grabbing his hands and placing them over your breasts, the two of you grinding harder against one another.

“Oh fuck…” He whimpers, his eyes squeezing shut, his hands squeezing the tender flesh.

He has a weakness for that nickname and, hearing you say it in his native tongue, drives him up the wall.

“Noona…I ‘m getting close…” He’s pleading with you but, you haven’t given him a reason to, not yet at least.

It’s your turn to smirk now, your thumb pressing over his spit-slicked lips. He takes your thumb into his mouth, sucking on it eagerly, bunny teeth nibbling the tip of it.

“Are you? Are you gonna cum hard if I let you?” You inquire, trying to maintain your composure, your finish line rapidly approaching.

He nods frantically, still sucking on your thumb, “Yes but…Noona cums first…always, I want her to cum on me…please?”

The words do a number on your heart and, you move your hips faster against him, your hand finding its way down to your swollen clit, “You want me to cum on you? Fuck me harder then…show me how much you want it…”

He doesn’t need to be told twice, he sits up then, securing you to him as he begins pounding up inside of you.

There’s no warning, you cum, hard, the pace and the curve of him too much to resist, your motions on your clit sending a tidal wave of pleasure crashing against you.

“Jungkook…” You whimper his name and, he nearly looses it, his eyes rolling back at the sound.

But he holds off, he wants to watch you fall apart and, he knows better than to finish without permission.

His eyes widen as he fucks you through your orgasm, in shock at how beautiful he thinks you are.

“So pretty Noona…you cum so pretty for me…on me…oh god Noona, I love you, I love you Noona…I’m so close for you…” He’s practically crying, the emotion, the pleasure, the visuals, they’re too much.

“I love you…” You whisper, still rocking against him as you come down from your orgasm but, despite your exhaustion, you still long to make him fall apart underneath you.

With a finger hooked underneath his chin, you hold his desperate, wide eyed expression, “Cum…”

His body jerks then, as he starts to spill inside of you, his body seizing up slightly as he pounds into you. His cock pulses with pleasure, his nipples harden and, he feels like he’s gonna scream.

“Noona…Noona…cover my mouth, cover it please-oh fu…fuck…” The volume of his desperate voice nearly reaches a dangerous level before you clamp a hand over his mouth.

He whines against your hand, hips still jerking about beneath you as tears stream down the sides of his face.

You lean in kissing them away, your hips still moving slightly as you try and ease him down, “Good boy…such a good boy, it’s ok, I’m right here jagiya, just come for me…you’re so good, such a good boy.”

A muffled cry is felt against your hand as he slowly descends from the most intense orgasm of his life. He whimpers against your hand, kissing it sloppily as his hands clutch your hips, slowing you down.

You place a kiss over the top of your hand but, make no moves to pull it away just yet.

Jungkook’s body goes limp beneath you, his eyes red and rimmed with overflowing tears, as you place gentle kisses over his face.

“I love you…you did so good for me…” You whisper words of praise and reassurance into his skin as he slowly begins to calm down.

He nods, blinking away his tears as he relishes in your touch and, it’s then you pull your hand away, the palm of it covered in his saliva.

“Y/N I love you…I love you so much, I missed you so much…” He whisper shakily and, you nod, placing a gentle kiss against his lips.

“I’m here…I love you, I’m not going anywhere…”

The thing is, you know Jungkook well. Better than he knows himself sometimes and, nearly two weeks ago, he came home to find your suitcase on his bed, causing him to panic.

He thought you were leaving him.

It was a misunderstanding of course, you had only been looking for a necklace you had lost but, still, it shook your boyfriend to his core.

It’s always been a fear of his and, for a moment, albeit it briefly, he thought it had come true.

He had been rather attached since then, checking in on you a lot more, trying his best to express himself, something he has always had an issue with.

You’ve been there through his unease, trying to reassure him in anyway that you can, that you were in this for the long haul.

You both needed this, this passionate unyielding sex and, judging by Jungkook’s current smile, blissful and entranced, you can tell it had soothed him.

“Yah…I’m so hungry now…” He whispers moments later, giggling, “I feel like I worked out…”

You return his giggle, kissing his forehead, “Sex burns a lot of calories actually so, I’m not surprised you feel that way…”

He perks up, smirking up at you, “Does it? Well, I guess I figured out how I’m gonna stay in shape while we’re on break then...”

Sounds like a plan.

[philomenafm]

(NATALIA DYER, DEMI GIRL) - Have you seen PHILOMENA CARMICHAEL? PHILLY is in HER/THEIR SOPHOMORE year. The WILDLIFE SCIENCE MAJOR is 20 years old & is a TAURUS. People say SHE/THEY are WHIMSICAL, PATIENT, APATHETIC and UNPREDICTABLE. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE CONCEALED MURDEROUS EVIDENCE  (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)

ive done sm switches bt. she is the one. she is the one i love. trust me. ples. this is an old intro n im frankly. too lazy 2 read it bt. i love her a lot shes very good please like her

TW CANCER, TRAUMA, DEPERSONALIZATION / DEREALIZATION DISORDER ( ALT. DISSOCIATION ), DEATH, DECAY, MAGGOTS.

aesthetic.

wildflowers in your hair and bare feet against moss, binoculars and maps, madonna beating out of half-dead speakers in a half-dead van, whipping wind, jumping off cliffs and rolling down hills, a bandaid wrapped around each finger, cryptic bumper stickers and cryptids in the woods, facing the sun and letting the rays hit you, counting stars late into the night, dancing naked in the woods with nothing but fire to light your way, mismatched socks and lucky ribbons, hoarding a box of special treasures, shoplifting and diner-dashing, bleach against roots, pink sweaters paired with ripped fishnets and slip dresses with knock off uggs, willingly wearing crocs, glitter stickers, fungi and feeling one with them, lying down and decomposing, they’ll find us in a week. they’ll find us in a week.

basics.

full name: philomena brontë carmichael

nickname(s): philly, phil, etc.

b.o.d. - april 20th, 2000

label(s): the amaranth, the halycon, the neophyte, the wanderer, etc. etc.

height: 5′4″

hometown: woodside, ca

sexuality: demisexual

pinterest ( & her family pinterest b/c they’re my most developed family uwu)

stats

favorite song: wonderfully bizarre, bendigo fletcher / we can be defined by the things we want / i’ll be a life full of free haircuts from the one that i love / we’ll collect fallen out teeth in a candy jar / mice for the backyard peregrine falcon reservation.

background.

a middle child belonging to christopher and imogen carmichael - two stanford professors. christopher specialized in british literature whilst imogen specialized in the classics. hence the name.

the order of siblings goes as such: lysander, elektra, juno, philomena, and twins orion & valora. the deal was that everybody had a greek (or in juno’s case, roman) first name and a middle name inspired by a piece of british literature circa 1800s and under. a family of nerds, if you will.

so, clearly - right off the bat, their parents are … eccentric. they’re both in love with their respected topic, and with each other, and with their kids. the carmichael family is a happy family.

they each have their own quirks and whatnot - though philly’s always been particularly dreamy - even as a child, she’d spend hours watching clouds or caterpillars or the leaves blow in the wind rather than play with other kids. she wasn’t a shy kid - she just had her own interests.

hardship doesn’t hit the family until philomena is five and starts having splitting headaches. they’re slow at first - but as soon as she’s seeing spots and unable to walk in a straight line, doctor appointments are made.

it doesn’t take long for them to discover the tumor, though the official diagnosis of malignant ependymoma comes a month later.

it’s grade ii but slow-moving, small enough to not be as much of a threat as worried, but big enough where removal is necessary. philomena earns a scar and brings it in for show-and-tell. for two months afterwards, philly’s at radiotherapy monday through friday.

they’re lucky - philomena’s considered cancer-free by the next year. she’s babied at first - handled delicately, as if she could break if touched - but with five other children … it doesn’t last for too long.

and life continues as normal.

her personality doesn’t shift much over the next few years - she’s awfully independent for a kid, and awfully quiet - when she speaks it’s about faeries and bigfoot, about how the sky is so blue and if you listen quietly, you can hear the leaves whisper their secrets to each other. this is not odd.

she’s close to all her siblings, but she idolizes her older sister - elektra. elektra’s six years older and dyes her hair whatever colors she wants. elektra bought a knife off a seedy guy downtown. elektra threw away all of her heels and renounced god. elektra is god. her music is loud but it’s not heavy - it’s florence and the machine.

they’re opposites - elektra’s boisterous and feels loudly, philomena’s softer and feels…less. when elektra sneaks out, philomena keeps watch. they are a duo.

philomena is smart - but she’s fifteen and hates school. hates sitting inside all day. hates the same routine - day after day - it’s all the same. her parents’ routine is the same, philly feels contained and she wants to live.

elektra’s twenty-one and just bought a brand new spanking (used but not falling apart) 19-something volkswagen … van - using her entire savings account. she says she’s tired of routine, she’s leaving the next day.

naturally, philomena stows away in the back and isn’t discovered until they’re two states away and she’s got to pee. elektra nearly crashes the van in shock.

it’s an argument - philomena vs. elektra, then them vs. their parents, then their parents vs. the school, the state - it’s an ordeal. philomena switches to an online program in the end.

it hurts christopher and imogen - lysander’s not having any of their nonsense, juno’s betrayed and alone - the twins are twins. in the end, it’s alright. the carmichael family is a happy family.

philomena and elektra take their time - it’s not a road trip, it’s their new life, permanently on the road. they stop and explore often - they do odd jobs in whatever town they settle in. they dine-n-dash, they shoplift. they survive in their own way.

during particularly desperate times, they two resorted to identity theft & credit fraud - getting away with it only by ditching the cards once they’ve made it out of state.

she drops out of high school officially when she’s seventeen - they have to drive all the way back to california to deal with the wrath of their parents and to deal with paperwork, but it’s done. philomena doesn’t know what path she wants in life - but it’s not that.

it’s during this time that the episodes occur - philomena’s outside her body, philomena’s wrapped in cotton, her memories are not her own. she’s looking in the mirror and she doesn’t recognize herself. they take shelter in a city for six months, long enough for her brand spankin’ new therapist to figure out what’s wrong with her. she’s diagnosed with depersonalization / derealization disorder - they think it’s stress. philomena doesn’t get stressed. they think it’s trauma. she laughs - she never laughs.

there is trauma though, deep-rooted but somewhere inside - you just have to look for it.

you. just. have. to. look. for. it. look for it. look for it. look for it look for it look -

you were ten and she was thirteen, an off-trail hike in familiar woods in a familiar town, safe and familiar. it was your idea, to stray from the carved out paths, down creeks and up hills and round, and round again. you’re the one who spotted the scarf first, sticking up from the dirt and dancing in the wind like the beginning of reincarnation. it was not reincarnation, it was discovery. it was ruin. with curiosity drawn, you skidded down - with compliance, followed juno, followed your sister - clumsy in her steps and tumbling down quicker than you. you saw the corpse, but juno felt it. decaying flesh and maggot.

and she left juno, just like that - just five years later, when juno had finally gone to the end of her wits. philly up and left. abandoned her.

philomena and elektra leave the city after that therapy session. they do not return. she’s always been good at hiding her secrets.

three years later and her parents want philly to have a higher education - desperate for it, really - worried for her future. it’s a battle that she loses, getting her ged and applying to a local college in florida in shameful compliance.

they’re there for a year until philly gets (expectantly) expelled from the community college & the two of them are banned from the town they’d residing in up until that point. they don’t talk about it - but boy, was it one hell of a time.

they found refuge in preaker, a town that seemed to suit them well - it suited elektra’s desire to travel up and down the east coast, and it intrigued philomena enough to the point of her being content with staying. soon after, philly officially transferred to yates for her freshmen spring term & theyve been here since.

(whenever anna brings cillian uh. he’s in here too he’s been traveling w them fr like 3ish years. i just cannot rewrite atm KDSGLSDKLGKFGHLKSL bt hes here. n hes sexy. n we love him. bro3tp)

OH. hey yeah the secret. errmm. tht’s on cillian. philly just hid the evidence. no they didnt kill someone yes they did no they did not <3 yes

personality & facts.

she’s quiet but she’s confident - her voice sounds like rustling leaves, if leaves smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

often underestimated - philly’s petite and looks like she’d fall over if a plastic bag blew too close to her. she’s independent - for the most part. elektra is the only person philly takes orders from.

has always been considered odd - weird, strange. still talks about the trees as if they’re listening, as if they’re old friends. she’s vague and doesn’t elaborate on the things she says.

believes in pretty much any superstition you throw her way. luck is very important to her. if you ask her if the earth is flat, she’ll say probably. believes strongly in bigfoot and the lochness monster. has personally seen aliens, and loves ghosts almost more than herself.

she can be amusing - whether you ‘get’ her or not, her outlook is often bright - she talks about the negatives the same way she talks about the positives. can be seen as naive or gullible, but she’s plenty smart. even if half of her education has come directly from google.

philly doesn’t laugh. a smile, yes - often, in fact - not always reaching her ears, or bearing teeth - but these are not indicators of her happiness. philly is consistently content. she thinks many things are funny - she still will not laugh.

her voice is often monotonous - she doesn’t sound dreary, she sounds far-away. her voice carries. her emotions are often unknown to others.

is apathetic in most situations. she’s hard to bother - she’s incredibly patient and enjoys the company of most - tolerates them at the very least. it’s hard for her to express her emotions, because she feels them so little that it’s very nearly not worth it. her affection is not verbal - it’s small touches and gestures of kindness, love in her own way.

is a fan of knock-knock jokes and bad puns. she won’t crack a smile while telling you them, nor does she expect you to laugh. she just enjoys them.

she owns a motorola razr covered in puffy stickers - hasn’t ever had a smartphone. she’s a fan of emoticons. her favorite is :o)

has a lot of bruises and scratches and scars - she’s often getting herself into pickles. there are always, at the very minimum, three bandaids on each hand.

she has insomnia, so she’s awake often. is often seen wandering town - even when she shouldn’t be, even when it might be dangerous. her intuition is delayed. when she does sleep - her dreams are vivid and fantastical.

keeps a box of memories - sentimental bits and pieces she’s picked up over the last few years. there are a lot of buttons and postcards, but any teeny tiny object will do.

her style changes every week - most, if not all, of her clothes are thrifted. one week she’s baby spice and the next she’s lydia deetz. she combines pieces from different styles often - she looks like a barbie clothed by a child. she feels most comfortable like this.

will either patch-up the clothes that get too worn or reuse them in some way. sometimes donates the clothes she gets tired off - isn’t minimalistic, but she’s learned to keep only a small amount of possessions.

the only consistency is her lucky ribbon - it’s pastel yellow and silky and as thin as a shoelace. she ties it onto her outfit of the day, everyday. if she loses it, she’s lost. elektra has a matching ribbon (& so does leo fowler eyes emoji)

has no problem with minor theft - she only takes bare minimum, puts herself and elektra first and that’s how it’s always been. she tries to be good while in preaker / yates - would hate to be forced out by mobs with torches and pitchforks

currently living in calloway while elektra stays in their van, florence - sometimes philly stays there during the weekends.

they used to live in motels on the occasion, the cheapest room, and more often than not they’d both go home with strangers for a comfier bed and a hotter shower.

it was a common occurrence - she didn’t sleep with them - but somehow, she weaseled her way into their homes anyway. has come out mostly unscathed, on most occasions. this has been a practice ever since they’ve been on the road.

really, truly - has not slept with anybody, had her first and only kiss at thirteen with a frog. this doesn’t bother her. edit: her first & only kisses hv been w leo fowler. this is important

will consume anything you put in front of her - isn’t picky.

listens to whatever they’ve picked up along the way but she likes instrumentals the best. her second favorite genre is 1990′s and 2000′s top hits. they’re nostalgic for her. third favorites? florence, of course. fleetwood mac. the bird and the bee.

loves storms - will go out in the rain and will risk her life for it.

owns a pair of roller-skates and is often skating rather than walking. unless she’s on grass - then she’s walking barefoot.

has many hobbies, and gets bored of them often. her favorite hobby is welding. she’s not certified.

also, juggling.

also, accordion.

the kind of girl who’ll do any job you give her. odd jobs are her favorite jobs. babysitting is her least favorite - but she does it anyway. has lost children before. have they ever been found? not by philly.

dyes her hair blonde often and cuts her own hair - bangs included - finds it cathartic, likes the itchiness of bleach.

everything she does is often in pursuit of feeling free, alive, and meaningful.

( like her frequent visits to the woods, late at night when the moon is high and full. it’s freeing to dance around a fire, stark naked in the cold. builds immunity )

comes and goes wherever she pleases, nothing & nobody can stop her. she knows to respect nature. exudes natural trust energy <3 dont know wht tht means but

the trust expands to animals as well, she has a certain knack for getting them to like her. has too many ‘pet’ rats that reside with her, alongside a baby raccoon & a few crow pals. has a new animal companion everyday, but she doesn’t contain them or force them to stay. edit: she hs a tabby cat named pail, now. named in honor of her mother, bucket.

leaves her window in calloway wide open because of this, because her window is conveniently right besides a tree with sturdy branches. good for animal smuggling, sneaking in and out, hiding, etc. etc. world is her oyster.

though her room in calloway is ??? frankly a mess ??? already ??? usually keeps most of her possessions in her memory box but she’s also turned her room into a mini labyrinth of knick-knacks. very cozy, but very nest-like. think of howl’s room from howl’s moving castle.

wanted connections.

how did you get in here ;; someone whose room she perhaps crashed at late at night, mysteriously. she refuses to explain where she’s come from. she’s gone before you wake. they could literally not know her at all she’s just sleeping halfway under their bed like <3 thank you <3

ma’am this is a wendys ;;  someone who sees her constantly <3 doing outlandish shit <3 bc lets b real. shes weird. shes a weirdo. why do u think she wears the same hat everyday. (she doesnt wear hats often) anyways. they probably dnt even like her? just think shes very strange?

im literally going to dissect you ;;  someone who. wants to figure out philly. pick at her brain. wear her shoes. kind of in the same category of above in this general like. ur fkn weird. bt they wna figure out why <3 they wna play therapist <3 jokes on u she hates therapists

liddle thief in the night ;; someone who has caught her stealing. or dining n dashing. either/or. perhaps both. she steals a lot :/

oh like. friends n stuff ;; of any closeness. ppl she talks 2 conspiracies with, ppl she goes on late night walks with, ppl she explores with, ppl she steals with, ppl she smokes with, etc. etc. ppl who bring her out to parties cos they like her funky little ways when she gets drunk n tries to climb atop everything <3 

thts nice. anyways ;; this is fr like. literally anything unrequited. philly doesnt like <3 a lot of ppl <3 In That Way. so its basically just. ur muse thinks shes very neat n she thinks ur muse is very neat bt platonically. she doesnt do hookups or anything n if she does i tend 2 like. run purely based off of chemistry even with. most of her connections in general.

uuhh. anything ;; HLKDGKSDLKGHLKSFDSHGKFD i nvr rly hv a lot of connections up fr philly bc shes like. a very unpredictable muse n i think its usually better to just. throw her in! n see wht happens! we cn still plot obv n come up w some fun things bt fr the most part shes very organic

[mellowmoonballoon]

P2 of the Primer - Minho!

Fandom primer for fandom feels.

So, Minho, dance leader!

Minho (Lee Know, Lino...) is the Stray Kids’ Marilla Cuthbert. Very controlled with showing his feelings. Wants to feed everyone. Hard working and practical. Dresses like an old woman who is constantly freezing.

His lack of desire to embarrass himself on screen is very relatable to all anxious perfectionist introverts. He often gets confused for shy or cold because of this, when he will just not do silly things in front of the camera if he’s not sure of the result. His terrible art? He knows it’s terrible and that’s acceptable. His amazing dancing? He knows it’s amazing and that’s acceptable. Things he’s not sure about which include being vulnerable in front of strangers? NOT ACCEPTABLE. I respect that. So this “primer” will not perpetuate any “mean-ho” ideas thank you bye. (Felix calls him tsundere so if you see me use it, it’s not my fault.)

Anyway Minho is a dancer. That was his job before he joined SKZ (he toured with bts etc) and it was his primary role in SKZ for a while. When he first joined he wasn’t a good singer or rapper, but he would have been ok if he wasn’t constantly shaking because he was convinced he’d get kicked out. Which is valid because he did get kicked out.

oh also - I will treat his and Felix’s story as if the elimination wasn’t a setup just because whatever else was going on, they thought it was real.

His singing voice wasn’t great so he was asked to rap instead. He had never done it but said he’d be willing to try. They were given... what? No time? To prepare for that change and famously, Changbin rapped backup for him and Han held his hand and timed the beat with it.

so i cried, and then he did get eliminated because he messed up the lyrics next time so i cried more and then he sent a final message and i FUCKING BAWLED.

To Han: “The time I failed, was it because you weren’t holding my hand?”

Changbin helped him a lot during practice for the second song and they both felt so bad for different reasons. Minho kept saying he was sorry that someone younger than him had to be helping him and that he was failing despite it. “If I had slept one hour less, would I have been able to do it better?” and Changbin with “What did I do for him, that I couldn’t teach him better?” Anyway this show was torture but I’m gonna go back to the good stuff now.

Minho got to come back and they were a band happily ever after. Before the elimination tho he helped the other members with their dance routines. So, shit i learned about kpop peripherally: most bands are made by formula like “2 members rap, 2 members dance, 2 members sing” or something like that. Minho could dance and Changbin could rap and Seungmin could sing and the goal is rarely to get everyone to be great at everything. And Minho was like “nah.” And he made it his goal to make everyone as good a dancer as possible. So while others were helping him with singing and rapping, he was helping them with dancing.

For me a very important scene in the show was when Bang Chan kinda lost it at IN’s lack of ability to dance and he had everyone stand aside and kept telling IN to try again and Minho gave Bang Chan side-eye and went over to IN to teach him how to do it better.

baby bread’s defeated baby face :(

and Minho’s face just saying “you’re not helping” as he walked over in clear defiance of any hierarchy.

So Minho’s whole approach to the group was “I will help everyone be better at dancing”. According to Chan he picked Minho with the idea that Minho would be in charge of dancing. Which is a big fucking deal. For Bang Chan personally and band as a whole.

Changbin asking this question, who else. Chan was like “that phrasing doe?” But eventually:

(Changbin is listening but also not giving a shit, he’s just waiting for Chan to be done so he can ask what his role is and be told he’s the visual, Minho feeds him so fucking well.)

In group dances Minho tends to not stick out. In fact, Minho would really like it if no one stuck out. His goal is to have them all as synchronized as possible and he’s really good at it.

His solos fucking murder us every time tho :(

m... where was i.

Oh yeah. He’s very good at his job. He has also gotten SO MUCH better at singing. I don’t think he gets enough credit for how fucking hard he must have worked on that on top of everything else they do. I know the color of his voice doesn’t pop out like Seungmin or IN’s, but he can hold his own now. (His parts in Slump and Neverending story for example. Slump in particular because apparently Han wrote that whole ass song to fit HIS high notes and everyone just went “I guess” and then Han said “but I’ll only rap in it”.)

But enough about how much I respect him as an artist. Let’s talk about how if he is your favorite in the band, there’s a 99% chance your kink is being spit on followed by a good aftercare. Look I don’t make the rules. Just accept it like Hyunjin has.

Did he tickle him after that? Who knows. Not Hyunjin.

but he feeds him well so it’s all good.

In fact, other than making everyone dance well, Minho’s second mission in life is to make sure everyone is well fed. (He is definitely that grandmother who will tell you you’ve gained weight and then get upset when you don’t eat everything she made for you.)

Life is too short for a full compilation of Minho feeding people so here’s a little vid and a few pics.

How is this post still fucking going? How do I have so many thoughts on this one man wtf? Anyway just a quick note about his ex husband.

Back in the olden days Minho made lunch and wrote a lovely thank you letter to Seungmin and things were great. Now they jokingly call each other the divorced couple and even though they are roommates they both claim they can’t be roommates. I have a theory that could be way off but I will type it up here anyway. My theory hearkens back to the first paragraph which is that Minho doesn’t like doing things in front of the camera when he’s not sure how it’s gonna end up. And I think Seungmin for his own reasons isn’t very expressive either. And maybe sometimes on camera he didn’t react like Minho needed him to. And it ended in Minho adjusting his on camera attitude. Again, I could be way off, but the way I see it, there is safety in teasing. The same way he’ll show off his giraffe picture and be like “isn’t it beautiful” when he clearly has functional eyes, he can show his friendship with Seungmin and say “lol isn’t it horrible” and he gets the expected feedback and it’s fine. It’s better than being seen as overly needy or reaching out and not getting what you want. And tbh I think he and Seungmin pingpong this at each other and this is why every tsundere needs a Felix or Han to hug them despite the shit that’s coming out of their mouth.

But Seungmin can still recognize him by his tiddies so clearly they’re fine off camera.

As far as fan stuff goes, Minho has a regular live where he eats delicious food and talks to fans. Sometimes fans are really shitty and he plays it off but he is human and y’all need to get your shit together. But since all his fans are subs it all works out in the end. (Go on, tell me he’s your bias and you’re not a sub, I won’t believe you.)

I’m going to end this now and sneak edit when I remember other shit like I just did with BC.

Oh PS: I am not getting into Minho and Han now. Maybe ... MAYBE by the time I’m on Jisung’s profile I’ll be emotionally ready for that.

Wait did I do a whole fucking primer on Minho without mentioning his cats? Shit I’m gonna get arrested. He has 3 cats, adopted or found. He also does a shitload of charity stuff, a lot of it animal related. Ok ok ok there.

Bang Chan - Minho - Changbin - Hyunjin - Han - Felix and Felix2 - Seungmin - Jeongin

[hellishvu]

Imagine BTS (maknae line): when they get interviewed about their crush

— this is an old post that i did on my wattpad, honestly this trend has passed but it is still SO DAMN CUTE so. and also since someone requested i do the hyung line i thought you people would want to read the maknae before i post the hyung line when im done with it. so yeah! this is old writing so beware! but enjoy and thank you for all the support with the requests i did not expect so many but you guys are amazing and im super excited with the ideas you sparked into me so!! 

Park Jimin: ˚✧₊⁎

"I should probably introduce myself right? Well I'm Park Jimin. I've been crushing or something on a person for.. a long time but that's not the point! I was told that this would be used as a documentary on idol lives." Jimin explained as he smiled feeling a bit shy about all this.

"If they lied to me about this I will be extremely mad!" Jimin said as he was obviously joking about the situation. The realization of what he signed up for just hit.

"Okay.. okay enough fooling around let's get this done." Jimin looked up and smiled directly at the camera.

How did you two meet?

"..." Jimin had fell silent as the blush rose up on his face. Jimin needed a second to think about the moment, the memory.

"We.. had met, through a club." Jimin announced as he tapped his foot. His voice slow to cause a dramatic affect.

"Okay I can't keep the dramatic effect." Jimin laughed going back to his normal voice.

"I was in a club with the members and I was ordering drinks and I wasn't feeling too well and so I didn't dance like usual and I was drinking lightly not wanting a massive hangover the next day." Jimin set the setting to the viewers and he did hand gestures to all the words that spilled out.

"It's.. quite a situation. So I was drinking alone, the members were out dancing and I didn't want to hold them up. So I was sitting by myself drinking my water and eating my chips. This guy comes up to me all of a sudden!" Jimin gets annoyed as he has to replay this moment.

"He's like flirting with me and I obviously don't want to do anything with him! So I'm like "yeah... uh huh... sure." Call me mean but I just had no intention of romantic feelings towards this guy!" Jimin explained as he put his hands up.

"So I was fairly getting annoyed, then... he came in. He said that he was my boyfriend." Jimin shivered in embarrassment.

"He was like "Hey baby do you want to go to the dance floor?" And at this time just telling you guys! I never had a boyfriend! So my eyes were basically popping out of its skull!" Jimin said.

"And then the guy wasn't convinced because well he was a drunk, so he said "Huh? I bet he isn't even your boyfriend." And I saw him get so cocky he grinned! He embraced me and I was caught up of what the fuck was happening and next thing I know he's lips are on mine!" Jimin screamed as he hid his face.

What was your first impression?

"Well.. his lips were soft, sweet and tender." Jimin said as he touched his lips feeling the emptiness of his.

"I- He tried to talk to me once the drunk man left but I couldn't hear a single thing so he dragged me to the bathroom, I thought I was going to have like a one-night stand or something because at this point he's attractive, he saved me from a unwanted drunk man."

"I really had to stop myself! I knew in my head that I shouldn't! Cut this out! Cu-" The video suddenly cut, putting the next scene.

"My first impression of him was that I found him bold, I never thought he would kiss me and he sorta acted like it was nothing after. He had said why he did it and he said sorry and I recommended we exchange numbers so I could give him like a reward for being nice."

Did you two get awkward after the kiss?

"No, we usually would laugh it off. He's honestly a really good guy. There was this time where I was so stressed with all this work load I had and it was late at night and everyone was asleep and I had texted him. In my head I didn't have much hope that he would be awake but he was. I just said to "call me" We had talked and I told him everything about how stressful it all was and he calmed me down and he spent like 3 hours just being there for me and he told me he was going come over but I told him he couldn't I wanted him to get sleep." Jimin smiled as he had held up the screenshot of the duration of that call.

"I found me staring at his eyes, his eyes held all the stars in the entire universe. Before sleeping I would always replay that kiss and how soft and sweet he held me. I don't know what's worse, not knowing what it's like to kiss your crush or knowing how the kiss felt but knowing you can't get it again." Jimin frowned as he had rubbed his eyes.

"We would go out and he would pick out things that reminded him of me and he'll do the cutest things that made my heart explode which he would find songs that reminded him of me and he would send them to me and they would be so soft. I have a whole playlist of just his song recommendations. He would buy me little gifts and one time I made sure he got a ticket during tour and he came and I saw him and he was wearing a Jimin t-shirt and he was so so so so so cute. He even got fast shipping of an Army Bomb since I told him he would go like 2 days before and it costed him so much money due to shipping. I imagine he's like my little cheerleader." Jimin showed photos of you two after the concert and the sweet things you would buy him, Jimin would have an whole album just called "Twinkle Y/N and Starry Jimin"

Jimin phone's rang as he apologized and answered it.

"Jimin?" "Y/N? I'm in a interview." "Oh! I'm sorry,, I just never knew my eyes were starry." "Huh?" "You know you should never think I would never kiss you again Jimin." "What!? How do-" "Jimin I'm watching it right now." "Please end my suffering now, you heard everything?" "Yes, you pumpkin. I would love to go out with you Jimin." "Pick me up at 8pm."

Kim Taehyung: ˚✧₊⁎

"Oh god, I'm really like in a buzzfeed interview aren't I?" Taehyung chuckled as he sat in the middle of the finding himself patiently waiting looking around the dark room.

"They told me this was for a like a love documentary so I'm trusting their word on it." Taehyung explained as he looked down to see the mic on his piece of clothing.

"Alright lets get this done." Taehyung smiled as the camera started rolling.

How did you two meet?

"I knew this question was going to come up." Taehyung said as he sighed trying to go back to that day.

"I met him, through a karaoke night. Sounds very cheesy considering I'm a singer but here we are. I was singing that night with some friends and I had started singing. A lot of the time we get a private room due to us being shy... but they were all out and we planned this night so we just publicly did our bullshit." Taehyung said as he gestured fake singing.

"It was my turn, and I had gotten up the stage and felt glares. I was actually really nervous due to how intense they were. Maybe they were drunk or something but I got up there and started to sing one of my favorite songs and I looked around trying to find a calmer face and then I met his.." Taehyung said as he did his classic box smile.

"He... was calming. I couldn't help myself not staring at him. We both found eachother staring the entire song and the song was a love song also.  After that I finished the song, I was going to walk to him and it was quite awkward but he was like honey and I wanted to get closer to him." Taehyung looked down at the ground smiling.

Have you tried to confess your feelings?

"I have. I really had this mental battle between me and myself. We got closer and we shared a same passion for something, I couldn't help myself from getting closer to him. It was nice seeing someone with the same desire for something as you do." Taehyung explained not looking at the camera much.

"So when you find yourself, seeing yourself possibly ruin a relationship. It's really scary, I found myself laying at night a lot just wondering if I should really tell him how I feel. Once I told myself to get it over with and tell him how I feel I later find out by one of my friends he was taken. So it really stung, my confidence and my overall mood went downhill. I had distanced myself from him, and overall just tried to get over him as a whole. Of course he was confused not knowing how I felt why I suddenly had this attitude shift I basically had to see him as a friend. Now I am fine with being friends but I know in the back of my heart that we could have been something more." Taehyung explained as he had a sense of hurt and cracks in his explanation. He had tried to hide it but everyone in the room could sense how much it actually affected him.

What is your favorite quality that he has?

"There has to be so many but I guess I can list one of them off." Taehyung thought about it for a moment before coming to a conclusion. Taehyung cleared this throat as he sat up straight.

"My favorite quality of his was that he was able to look outside of the normal. He was different from a normal perspective. He found things that I couldn't see. He found himself fighting society and overall him liking men was just a battle of society by itself. He wasn't afraid of being himself and even when he was at the lowest point of his time he always found a way to see a brighter side of things through all the darkness. Society saw a box but he would see more than just that, he knew when you felt bad, he knew what you had a small haircut. He was observant. I truly loved that about him." Taehyung said as he sadly smiled to himself. Feeling that he's gushing over a person that doesn't have the same feelings as he does. Taehyung saw all the people behind the cameras go quiet as Taehyung tilted his head.

"I truly did love him." Taehyung snickered as he felt himself cry. Taehyung didn't look up trying to fight the tears that was happening. His eyes burned and his vision turned blurry.

Last Question: What would you say if he was in the next room?

"I don't want to see him. Not like this." Taehyung admitted as he wiped his tears. The red puffy eyes that he had.

"He made a same video. If you'll like to see it." The director asked as Taehyung looked up and saw a screen being placed in front of him. The screen had you in the screen, the same set, same lighting.

"How do you feel about Kim Taehyung?"

"I.. It's a long story with that. I really like Taehyung. Not as a friend, that's why I broke up with my partner. I found myself thinking about Taehyung more than them. I just wish I had done it earlier. I want us to be something more. So Taehyung.. stop crying"

Taehyung looked up and saw the video was live. Taehyung sniffed and wiped his tears once again.

"Taehyung I love you."

"You can't do this to me now!" Taehyung covered his face as you had laughed through the screen.

"Stop crying." You frowned as Taehyung lifted his head from his hands.

"I love you god damn it." Taehyung the delicate feelings he had for you was finally being returned.

Jeon Jungkook: ˚✧₊⁎

"They told me this would be.. helpful for something!" Jungkook laughed as the cameras rolled, he was quite nervous for some odd reason and he found himself playing with his fingers. Jungkook saw the room completely empty.

"I.. What are you going to do with this anyway?" Jungkook asked as the cameras rolled. The cute little smile came back, Jungkook chuckled as to hide his nervousness.

"Alright.. lets get it." Jungkook said as he sat still having his cute little rings on.

How did you two meet?

"Oh gosh, it was so long ago but it feels like yesterday. I had to.. study, you know? I was trying to go to school and learn English and he was one of the ones at my school that knew it and could teach really well... so I took one of his little flyers and gosh,, I was so shy and nervous and I just kept putting myself down every second I couldn't say a word." Jungkook explained as he felt a tint of red on his ears. The heat burned up as he explained how he met you.

"But he.. was so nice? It was really refreshing to see someone that believed in me every second of the way. I found myself staring at him when he was teaching a new word or how the english grammar worked. I just found myself being fond of him, it was embarrassing when he caught me!" Jungkook covered his face as he bounced his foot on the leg stool.

When you knew you started to like him?

"Oh you guys are really just going for it.." Jungkook laughed to himself as he thought and he looked like a light bulb went off when he finally found a moment.

"There was this time, when we had.. been practicing all day due to the comeback and I had missed all day of classes but since his tutoring was afterschool I could make it. So I went so exhausted and my entire outfit showed, I had sweatpants and a hoodie and he noticed. He would ask me if I had enough sleep or if I had ate."

"Of course I had said yes so he didn't need to worry about me, I really been enjoying him teaching me and I didn't want to miss another lesson or class. So half way through the lesson I felt myself slipping in and out of sleep. I drank water to keep myself awake and nothing was working and in mid way of him just explaining the difference between words I fell asleep on his shoulder." Jungkook said as he had been embarrassed that he had let himself get that tired.

"Later I found out from him, that he took me home. He carried me out of the library that we met at and took the bus home, I had woken up at my bed, and I walked to my kitchen to see that he got me take out. I think I really.. fell for him at that point. He could have left me and just not given another though but he had made sure I was okay and I had meals..." Jungkook admitted as you could tell Jungkook thought about the male a lot, that he was grateful for the little things he did.

If you could dedicated one song to him which one would it be?

"Oh my! Come on guys! You really want me to do that!" Jungkook said as he had took out his phone from the permission of the directors. Jungkook chuckled as he clicked through his music playlists.

"Music.. I really cant express it in words of how much it has influenced me throughout my whole life, so just having a song dedicated to someone and that reminds me of them so much is special. It really means they are special to me." Jungkook expressed as he had click on some songs hearing them for a split second before clicking the next one.

Unfold - Alina Baraz & Galimatias

"I think finding someone that you can be safety vulnerable to and be complete yourself without holding yourself back is really beautiful and should be protected. With this song it talks a lot about this person unfolding and constantly feeling that this person constantly saying that they glow and this person can't help but feel okay to unfold their shell of defensive behaviors. That they can't control to fall in love with this person." Jungkook explained with hand gestures and found himself going really deep into a song that was close to his heart.

"This really connects to me and his relationship because he constantly makes me feel like Im glowing with the amount of care he gives me and how much he supports me and he's just not afraid of being there for me. Ahh... I sound so weird." Jungkook said as he felt the blush rise up again.

Last Question: what would you say to him right now?

"What- Is he here?" Jungkook's eyes widen as he realized looking around. The film crew snickering behind their cameras

"Did he hear what.. I just said about him?!" Jungkook got red all over his face as he had found himself covering his face once again.

"Jungkook." Jungkook heard as he looked at the camera man. He took off his hat and soon found out that it was Y/N. Jungkook got up and saw you walk towards him.

"No! You did not jus- You really- You set me up." Jungkook yelled at you as you got closer opening up your arms. You found him walking towards you hugging him. Jungkook mumbled a quiet sentence.

"What did you say?" You said a slightly chuckle leaving your mouth.

"I hate you." Jungkook said as you rubbed his hair.

[sunyoonandstars]

BTS Reaction: You get dressed up to accompany them to an official event and get insecure about your appearance || Hyung Line Edition

You, their s/o, get all dressed up for an important event or award show for the first time, and suddenly feel insecure and nervous about your looks and not fitting in with the celebrities.

fluff, hints of/at smut

Word Count 3.144

A/N: I haven’t done one of these in a while, but I hope I still ‘got it’. Enjoy.

1. Kim Seokjin/Jin

"Y/n, are you coming?" Jin called out for you for what felt like the tenth time. "The others are waiting. We're gonna be late. Don't pull a Jimin on me, today of all days."

Fiddling with the bouquet of flowers in his hands, Seokjin peeked around the corner anxiously when you showed no reaction whatsoever.

"Y/n?"

Still no response.

"Y/n? What's going on? You were almost done getting ready half an hour ago!"

Just when he was about to storm your bedroom, a red-faced stylist hurried towards him, eyes cast down, hair tousled, the door being slammed shut behind her.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kim, but she won't come out. I think she's crying."

"She's what!??" Jin burst out, handing the helpless stylist your flowers before rushing past her and towards the firmly shut bedroom door.

"Y/n??" he called your name, hammering against the door. "Open up! Are you alright? What's going on? Open the door!"

"No," he could barely hear you snivel from inside. "I can't. I can't come."

"What do you mean you can't come?"

"Jin, you'll have to go without me. It's not that big a deal. No one knew I was coming anyway. And I don't even belong there. With the stars. On the red carpet."

"Of course you do! You belong by my side, y/n. Besides, we talked about this. It's time to show the world how amazing you are, and that we're, you know, an item."  

One ear pressed to the door, Jin could hear you pace the floor, your step quick, maybe angry even.

"Just go already!" you suddenly shouted. "Please. Don't keep the others waiting. Like you said, you're gonna be late. So just leave."

"Not without you, jagi. Open the door, please."

"No!"

"Why not?"

"I – I can't let you see me like this."

"Like what?"

Jin could hear you grunt in frustration.

"Like this!"

"Jagi, you know I can't see you through the doo–"

"Ugh. You know what I mean!" you groaned. "All dressed up. I look like I'm wearing a costume or something."

"But the dress is beautiful! And it's perfect for you, everyone said so."

"There's nothing wrong with the dress, Jin. It's – It's me. I just don't belong in this scene, in this dress. With people like you. Famous people, pretty people."

"Y/n, what are you talking about? You're gorgeous! Poised. Polite. Clever. You belong there just as much as I do. With me. And I need you by my side tonight."

"You'll be better off without me, Jin. I'll probably embarrass you."

"Never!" He sighed. "Please, jagi, just unlock the door, so I can see for myself how hideous you look in that expensive dress I got you."

"Tsk," you snickered. "All right. You're not gonna leave before I do, are you?"

"Nope."

Smiling to himself, Seokjin stepped back as soon as he heard the lock click, watching in anticipation as the door slowly opened.

When he was finally presented with your full form, he couldn't help but gasp in surprise.

"See," you shook your head, discouraged. "Told you so."

"But, jagi, what are you talking about? You – You're stunning! I mean – Wow! You – I  – How did you ever doubt yourself? You're beautiful!"

Laughing boisterously, Jin came up to you, taking both your hands into his and looking you up and down once more, eyes sparkling.

"Wow. Seriously. You're astounding, y/n! I can't wait to show you off! Come on! I can’t wait to see the guys’ when they see how lucky I got!”

2. Min Yoongi/Suga

"Seriously, y/n," Yoongi groaned, sat in the living area of your hotel suite, slouched on an armchair. "What's taking so long? It's not like you don't have a team of three of the most capable stylists to help you get ready and all."

With a sigh, he shot a glare up the short flight of stairs that led to the bedroom in which you had holed up hours ago, muffled sounds emanating from its open door.

"Y/n-n ..."

"Almost ready, okay!?" you snapped back at him, eliciting a grin from your impatient boyfriend. "Just one more minute."

"That's what you said half an hour ago."

"Well, when you're in such a hurry, why don't you just leave without me?" you muttered, your tone telling of frustration.

"Like hell I will!"

Yoongi knew you well enough to realize that you weren't stalling without reason. You were upset, he could hear it in your voice.

"I'm coming up, y/n."

"No!" you immediately yelled back. "Don't you dare –"

"Too late," Yoongi grinned, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the door frame, watching you watching yourself in the mirror, your gaze scrutinizing. Until you noticed him. And threw your hands up to cover your face.

"No," you whined. "Don't look at me. I'm repulsive."

"Tsk, sure you are. That's why I love you."

With a gesture of his hand, Yoongi indicated the stylists to leave. Quietly, they scurried off.

"Stop it, Yoongi, I'm serious," you muttered, face still concealed from his view, a hairdressing cape draped across your seated figure to protect your dress which you had bought months ago with Taehyung in secret. "I'm not made for walking red carpets."

"Well, why don't you let me be the judge of that, hmm?"

You flinched when you could feel his arms wrap around you from behind, leaned into his embrace, however, as soon as his soft lips found your neck and started covering it with tender kisses.

"Hmm, you smell so good, baby," Yoongi hummed, his voice smothered by your hair in which he had buried his face. "And your skin is so soft."

Yoongi lingered for a few more seconds, nuzzling the crook of your neck before he grudgingly pulled back with a sigh.

"I wish we didn't have to leave right now, but unfortunately we do. Because we're almost running late already. If we take off now, we might make it just in time."

"But I can't Yoongi," you yammered, finally revealing your face when your hands dropped to your lap in disheartenment. "I'll humiliate you and the guys. Just look at me."

"But I am," he said, head tilted to one sight as he took in the view of your face, your beautiful features being emphasized by artful makeup.

Yoongi had to admit, he preferred your face in its natural state, with as little makeup as possible, if not entirely bare of any. But still, you did look nothing short of breathtaking.

"I really don't know what you're talking about, y/n. You look stunning. As always. And now show me that mysterious dress of yours that Tae told me so much about."

"Ugh, I don't know, Yoongi. I'm not so sure about it anymore."

"What do you mean?" he pouted, putting his chin on your shoulder.

"I look fat, Yoongi."

"You're not, fat, y/n! I like you just the way you are."

"But next to all those skinny actresses, models and idols, I'll most definitely look fat."

"Don't say, that, y/n." His eyes, saddened by your self-deprecation, locked with yours in the mirror as he pursed his lips, both arms slung around your shoulders. "You're just a little differently built than them, beautiful in your own ways. Besides, it doesn't matter what they think or say. What's important is that you're gonna be by my side and that I finally get to show the world that I'm yours and you're mine. And that you are yourself, awkward laugh and everything. Because you're incredible. I haven't met one single person yet who did not succumb to your natural charms, y/n. And all those people don't adore you because you're fat and hideous, but because you have a kind, bright heart and are unapologetically yourself. So, come on. Get up. I wanna see you in that dress and fall in love with you all over again."

"All right," you sniveled, trying to contain a smile when you recognized the grin on Yoongi's face.

Smiling, he took the cape from your shoulders and held out one hand to help you get up from the barber chair you had been seated in. Head lowered, eyes cast down abashedly, you took Yoongi's hand and straightened your posture before you made your way around the chair and toward your boyfriend.

"Ta-da," you ironically curtsied before him, cheeks burning with a fierce blush, still reluctant to meet his eye.

Confounded by the absence of any kind of reaction from Yoongi to your flowing black velvet dress that hugged your curves tightly as it fell down to the floor, pooling around your feet in inky black waves of heavy, softly shimmering fabric, you could feel your eyes well up.

"What? What is it? Don't you like it? Is it too much? Should I have gone with something a little more subtle, less revealing?"

Finally, you looked up to find Yoongi staring at you, mouth agape, eyes eagerly drinking up the sight of you.

"Yoongi?"

"I – No. I love it! It's – It's perfect. It's you, y/n. And you – You look. Wow. Just wow. I –"

"It's –"

"Let me guess?" Yoongi cut you short, looking at you as though he had seen you for the first time, his dark orbs filled with adoration and desire. "It's Gucci?"

"Yes," you chuckled. "And vintage. Tae and I went through so many shops until we found it. I knew the instant I saw it that I had to have it. And it fits like a second skin."

"I can see that," he remarked with a smirk. "It looks so good on you, baby. You look amazing. You're gonna be the most beautiful woman there."

"Oh, stop it."

"I'm serious, y/n. You're gonna steal all those other girls the show. Hell, you're gonna steal us the show!"

"You're exaggerating!" you giggled, face flushed.

"No, I'm not." Suddenly, Yoongi was serious, a shadow of lust cast across his features.

"I'll be only looking at you tonight, y/n," he whispered, pulling you close to place a tender kiss on your neck, just underneath your ear, where he knew you were most sensitive. "I just wish we didn't have to go right now."

3. Jung Hoseok/J-Hope

"Hobi, I think this was a mistake," he could hear you complain from the next room, still sat in a barber chair, being tended to by his own stylists while three more where busy preparing you for your first grand night out with him and the members.

"What is it this time, jagi?" Hoseok asked, rolling his eyes since this was not your first minor meltdown tonight.

"Everything," you groaned. "I – I just don't think I can do this. This was a stupid idea?"

"What was?"

"This," you muttered as you stepped into his room, pointing down at your flowy, floor-length gown.

Hoseok's heart-shaped lips formed a pointed 'o' and his eyes nearly popped out of his head the second they fell on your figure, covered from head to toe in silky emerald falls.

The stylist's amused chuckle was hard to miss.

"Wow, jagi! You look – Phew!" He started fanning himself in a melodramatic manner. "Hot! Hot!"

"You look amazing, Miss Y/l/n Y/n," the female stylist confirmed, nodding her head eagerly as she admired your haute couture dress.

"It's your favorite color," you remarked shyly, suddenly very much aware of your curves and the way the dress accentuated them. "But – Don't you think it's a little, I don't know. Over the top? Too revealing? I'm not exactly the skinniest, after all. Maybe I should change. Into that other one I got, the grey one. So I at least won't stick out."

"No. No! Are you insane? You look stunning! You're never taking that thing off again! And your hair. The way the curls fall around your neck. Damn."

Hoseok teasingly licked his lips, winking at you and causing the stylists to blush, abashed to witness such an intimate scene.

"Oh, stop it," you giggled, slowly making your way towards him while Hoseok invitingly patted his lap, indicating you to take a seat. The stylists took the hint, swiftly left the room and the two of you alone.

"Why should I? I'm crazy about you, jagi. Crrrrazy," he growled, pulling you onto his lap and close to his body, careful not to ruin your dress.

"Crrrrazy," he breathed against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. "Besides, your ass looks scrumptious in this dress."  

"Scrumptious, huh?" you shook your head.

"Yes. I wanna bite it. Right. Now."

"God, Hobi, you’re gross," you chuckled, secretly excited by the idea of Hoseok's lips against your skin and his teeth marking it.

"And you're delicious. And don't you doubt that for a second," he smiled up at you, one hand still on the back of your neck, playing with strands of your curled hair. "You look gorgeous, y/n, baby. You'll catch all the attention in this vibrant emerald miracle. And you deserve no less. Because you're my radiant Queen, beautiful inside and out. You're gleaming, those curves you're so self-conscious about are nothing short of gorgeous, and everybody who isn't blind will see that. My starlight."

"You really think so?" you wondered, lips pursed.

"I know so," Hoseok grinned, stretching to give you a kiss and fondly brush a lock of hair behind your ear.

"And now let's go, jagi. Let's not keep the others waiting any longer. Besides, the sooner we get there, the sooner we'll be back here so I can take this thing off of you and have that fine ass of yours all to myself."

"Oooh, can't wait," you cooed, biting your lower lip to contain a giggle while Hoseok gently nibbled on your earlobe.

"Well, brace yourself," Hoseok whispered, his voice husky now. "Because you'll never forget tonight."

Carefully, he helped you get up, not before pressing his lips to your neck for one last kiss.

"Nobody will," Hoseok smiled as he spun you around. "I can't wait to show my emerald Queen off to the entire world."

4. Kim Namjoon/RM

"Baby, could you come down now? Please? You said you were ready fifteen minutes ago. The car is waiting already," Namjoon called up, waiting by the foot of the flight of stairs leading up to the second story of your house.

"I'll be down in a second!" you answered. "But only if you go out first."

"I – What? Why?" he frowned, confused. "I thought we were going together?"

"We are!" you called back. By the sound of it, you had left the bedroom already and were hiding in the hallway, right around the corner of where the stairs began. Namjoon could even spot a dip of shiny silver fabric floating out from behind the wall. "It's just – I don't know if I'm ready for you to see me yet."

"But, princess, it's not like I haven't seen you dressed up before," he chuckled, amused by your unusually shy demeanor.

"Not like this!" you groaned. "Just go ahead, okay? Wait in the car. I'll be down in a minute."

"But you know I'll see you eventually, right? And, I don't wanna scare you or anything, but so will a bunch of strangers. Thousands of people will see you tonight, babe. This award show is kinda famous."

"I knoooow," you whined, your words followed by a sigh.

"So just let me take a look, hmm? So I can see for myself if there's any reason for you to hide."

"But I look ridiculous."

"Hard to believe."

"I look like lametta, Joon. I belong on a Christmas tree, not on a red carpet."

He could barely hold his laughter.

"But, baby, I saw the dress. We picked it out together. It's gorgeous. And you loved it when we got it."

"Yeah, well. I'm not so sure it was a good choice anymore."  

"Just let me see you. I'm not gonna laugh, I promise. I'm gonna be honest with you, y/n. And if I agree with you, there's still plenty of time left to get changed. My stylists got a backup, just in case. It's a fine dress, as well. But I'm sure it can't compare to the one you're currently wearing."

Namjoon had to gather all his self-control to keep himself from climbing the stairs to take a peak.

"Just come down when you're ready, baby. But – Do it ... soonish. The show is starting in about an hour, and we have to factor in traffic and –"

His jaw dropped the moment you finally revealed yourself to him.

"You're – Wow – Baby – You're – Wow!"

He gestured wildly with his hands, his movements describing your curves, clad in sleek and shiny silvery fabric, sparkling in the sunlight like it was made of water.

"WOW!" Namjoon exclaimed again, clapping his hands together, shaking his head in disbelief, apparently at a loss for words.

"Joon, be serious," you demanded, clutching the stairs' banister, afraid to lose your footing in those sky-high stiletto heels the stylist picked out for you, especially with your knees having turned to jello. "You said you'd be honest with me. Is it too much? Do I look as laughable as I feel?"

"Laughable?" Namjoon echoed, saucer-eyed in utter disbelief. "Laughable!? You look breathtakingly gorgeous, babe! How could you ever doubt that?"

"Really?" you wondered, looking down at yourself.

"Yes, really," Namjoon smiled up at you, nodding, his gaze fond, his dimples showing. "Come on. Come down here, into my arms, princess."

Welcoming, he held open for you, waiting at the foot of the stairs.

Smiling, cheeks flushed, you made your way down, careful not to trip or step on your gown, and jumped into his open arms. The brightest smile curving his lips, both eyes beaming crescent moons, Namjoon whirled you around before he let you down and pulled you in for a kiss.

"Seriously, babe. You look otherworldly gorgeous. With your makeup and all, glittering from head to tow, you look just like a fairytale princess. And it doesn't matter what other people might think, as long as you're happy and yourself. You're shining brighter than the stars tonight, y/n. And this dress basically screams 'YOU', so wear it with pride. Hmm?"

"I will."

"Promise?" Namjoon raised his brows, his eyes boring into yours as he swayed you in his arms, paying no mind to the driver who honked outside for the third time in a row. "Because there's really no reason for you to be ashamed, baby. Not a single one."

"Promise."

"Good. Keep your head held high, princess, because I can't wait to show the world how truly beautiful my woman is."

[go-gently-please]

cherry ~ vampire!au (part 3)

~ pairing: human!BTS x vampire!OC

~ genre: vampire!au, smut, angst, sprinkles of fluff

~ summary: life with the seven boys proves to be more complicated than you thought, and you struggle to combat your selfish desires along with their advances.

~ warnings for this chapter: profanity, blood, subby Jimin, fellatio, dirty talk, mentions of BDSM

~ a/n: i’m not super happy with this chapter, but i really hope you like it. please tell me what you think, i would love to see how i could improve :)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 (coming soon)

links in masterlist!

You’d decided that it’d be best to take a break from Jimin. It wouldn’t be difficult, considering that there were six other perfectly good men to choose from, but it was clear early on that Jimin wasn’t about to make things easy for you.

You weren’t sure if it was on purpose, but he had started wearing more revealing clothes, ones that accented his collarbones and showed off his muscular arms. The elegant dips of his neck and chest were always fully on display for you.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew something was bothering you. Ever since you ran out of his room, leaving him sitting there looking like a kicked puppy, his mind had been plagued with dark thoughts of doubt and self-deprecation. These thoughts only multiplied when you continued to ignore him.

You’d gone three whole weeks without feeding on him, which was unusual since your sweet tooth made Jimin one of your most popular choices. Out of the seven of them, you fed on Jimin, Hoseok, and Jungkook the most.

Jimin immediately assumed that he was the problem. He must’ve done something wrong, must’ve upset you somehow. Was it his blood? Did it not taste good anymore?

The thought of his blood disgusting you made Jimin’s stomach lurch.

He tried confronting you, but every time he asked you simply brushed it off, claiming that you just “weren’t hungry anymore.”

He knew that was bullshit. Your pupils had been so dilated that your eyes were almost black. You’d looked like a panther ready to pounce.

You felt bad for ignoring him, especially because it was Jimin. He was the most needy for praise out of all of them. That was one of the reasons why you had a soft spot for him.

After feeding, you would always shower him with pets and compliments, telling him how good he tasted, how sweet he was. Jimin’s face would turn that pretty mochi pink, his head ducking away shyly like a turtle in its shell.

You loved the way you could make him crumble. Jimin’s flirtatious nature made him come across as confident, maybe even cocky, but once you praised him, he would melt into a gooey mess of blushing and giggling.

So, naturally, ignoring him was one of the worst things you could ever do. But it had to be done...right?

“Charlie?” A soft, tinkling voice made you look up from the cutting board.

Jimin stood on the other side of the kitchen counter, looking casual and slightly sleepy in a grey cap and sweater. He was barefaced, letting you see the faint spots and freckles on his glowing skin, his eyes free of any makeup.

You wanted to squish his cheeks and tell him to skip class that day to stay here and cuddle with you instead.

“What?” You forced your voice to come out harsh, slicing through the air and creating an immediate, palpable tension. Yoongi, who was sitting at the bar with a cup of coffee, looked between the two of you like he was about to witness a cat fight.

“I was just wondering if you were free later this afternoon?” He sounded so hopeful, speaking in a low tone as if he was afraid you’d snap at him.

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence for you and the boys to hang out one-on-one. You would often go out for coffee, peruse around a bookshop, or sometimes they would tag along while you ran errands. Nevertheless, the question made you snap your head up to stare at him.

“What?” You said sharply.

Jimin visibly gulped.

“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to that new cafe during your lunch break. I know you wanted to check it out.” He said.

You were endearingly surprised that he remembered. Looking back down at your cutting board and continuing to chop spinach, you pretended to sound disinterested.

“I’m probably going to end up skipping lunch today. It’s been really busy at work lately. Maybe next time.” You mentally cringed at how blunt you sounded.

Jimin’s shoulders sagged.

God, I am being such a bitch.

���Okay…” He said sadly, turning to leave you alone.

Yoongi eyed you up and down as you started to arrange the spinach and eggs on a plate.

“Did Jimin do something to you?” He asked.

You glanced at him very briefly.

“No, why would you think that?”

“Because he’s sulking and you’re avoiding him.”

“I’m not avoiding him! I’ve just been busy, that’s all.” You pushed the plate towards him and crossed your arms.

“Can you eat the whole thing for me?” You said, gaze softening with the question.

Yoongi raised an annoyed eyebrow.

“First of all, I hate spinach. Second of all, would you stop pestering me, please.”

“I’m sorry! It’s just...you’re so skinny.” You said as you squeezed one of his bony arms.

You felt like an old witch preparing a child for the boiling pot, fattening them up with sweets and sugary words. Here, little boy. Eat up so you can become nice and tender. Would you like to be served with butter or gravy?

You were just worried about his health! Every time you fed on him there was always the concern that he might faint in the middle of it.

“Trust me, Charlie, I eat plenty.” Yoongi insisted.

“Yeah, but how much of that is pure garbage?” You said. 

He didn’t have an answer for that.

“Why are you so hell-bent on this?” He whined.

“Because I don’t want to have to worry about you collapsing every time I suck you!”

He quirked an eyebrow.

That came out wrong.

“Every time I suck your blood.” You corrected.

The sound of the clock chime broke you out of your thoughts, which may or may not have turned inappropriate at the mention of sucking. You sighed in relief, glad to have an excuse out of this conversation.

“Gotta go.” You grabbed your bag and hurried to the door.

“Finish that!” You called back over your shoulder, pointing at his breakfast.

“I’ll think about it!”

~~~

You weren’t really busy at work. That was a lie. Actually, you kept the place running rather smoothly. You were good at your job, you had to be as the person in charge. As editor in chief of GENIUS magazine, you held the highest position in the editorial department.

Today was a particularly slow day. Your afternoon meeting had been canceled, which opened up the bulk of your schedule. You were absentmindedly wondering what you’d have for lunch when your phone buzzed.

12:54 — Hobi: hey :)

An instant smile crossed your face.

12:55 — You: hi sunshine

The three tiny dots appeared and disappeared several times. You smirked, picturing him blushing at your nickname and fumbling for the right words to say.

12:57 — Hobi: you free for lunch?

12:58 — You: you just read my mind. Where do you wanna go?

12:58 — Hobi: that new cafe that you were talking about?

Wow. How do they all remember these things about you?

12:59 — You: sounds good. Meet you there in fifteen minutes.

You killed time by scanning over some of the articles for the next issue. After glancing at the clock, you gathered up your coat and bag, walking through the glass doors of your office.

“I’m going out to lunch with a colleague. I’ll be back in an hour to talk with the associate publisher.” You announced as you passed Melody’s desk.

“Okay, boss.” She replied.

“You know, you don’t have to call me boss.” You said with a crooked grin.

“I know. I just do it to tease you.”

The corner of your mouth quirked as your eyes ran over her. She was wearing a cute little pencil skirt that accentuated her petite frame. Not that she was super skinny, her build was medium, but she was a tiny person. She had short legs and was barely five feet tall.

Melody was very sweet and gentle, always right by your side, ready to do anything in her power to help you. She had an innocence about her that was almost childlike.

You were very fond of her.

The walk to the cafe was short. It was only five minutes away, that was why you’d been so eager to check it out. Hoseok was already there waiting for you when you arrived. He was sitting at a table by the window, wearing an oversized sweatshirt with his black face mask pulled down to his chin.

At the sound of your heels, he looked up from his phone. His face broke out into that beaming heart-shaped smile, making your lips immediately curl up in return.

“Hi, Noona.” He said cheerfully.

“Hey, Hobi. How's your day going?”

“Good! Even better now that I get to have lunch with my favorite vampire.”

“I'm pretty sure I'm the only vampire you know.”

“Mmm irrelevant.”

The waiter came, and Hobi ordered a sandwich while you ordered a coffee and a slice of strawberry cake.

“Skipping right to dessert, I see.” He said as you picked up your fork, licking your lips.

“Of course. My main course is still eating his lunch.”

A blush flowered on the plump apples of his cheeks. Yet, he still managed to flash you a sly grin.

“I guess I better hurry up then. Wouldn't want to keep my favorite vampire waiting when she so clearly needs me.”

Hobi smirked.

Something about the way he said it, the way he claimed that you “so clearly needed him,” made something in your stomach jump. He was suggesting that you needed something from him? Cocky little bastard.

Hoseok was...interesting. He was a little bundle of energy, that was true, a total ball of sunshine, but he challenged you in a way that none of the other boys did. He wasn’t afraid to poke and prod and push your buttons. It was almost like he was trying to see how much he could get away with, how much authority he could get you to give up.

You saw the way he treated the other boys, too. He was one of the older ones, so he had a natural air of dominance, especially over the maknae line. It wasn’t uncommon to see him ordering them around, jokingly manhandling or threatening them to get them to submit to his little games.

He was definitely different, you thought as you sipped your coffee, leaving behind a stamp of red lipstick on the rim.

“Nom nom nom.” You said around a mouthful of food, closing your eyes in bliss.

Hoseok chuckled, making you divert your attention away from your plate.

“What?” You asked with your cheeks stuffed.

“I can’t get over how you put off a badass vibe when you’re actually goofy and adorable as fuck.” He said in amusement.

You raised an eyebrow.

“Excuse you, I am a badass.” Your voice was sarcastic as you puffed your cheeks out even further, trying to give yourself a cute appearance.

Hobi laughed.

“You’re still a badass, of course. You’re just adorable as fuck while being one.”

Despite your efforts to suppress it, you blushed. When was the last time a boy made me blush?

Looking satisfied by your reaction, Hobi returned his attention to his food.

You bristled, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically small in his presence.

“Wipe that smirk off your face.” You said in a voice that would’ve made Jimin and Jungkook shiver and comply immediately, but only made Hobi smile wider.

“Oh, did I strike a nerve?” He teased you.

You pursed your lips together, trying to fight another rush of heat to your cheeks.

“Your face is heating up. Was it something I said?” Hobi quirked an eyebrow.

Leaning back in your chair, you exhaled as you stared him down.

“You better watch yourself, boy. Do I have to remind you who’s in charge?” You tilted your head to the side in mock confusion.

“Boy?” He said, challenging the title you’d just given him.

“I am hundreds of years older than you.”

“I don’t believe that, you don’t have the personality of a century-old great great great grandmother.” He said with a playful smile.

“Of course I don’t. We adapt to the times. It’s how we stay hidden. Don’t you think it’d be a dead giveaway if I still spoke like a character in a fucking Shakespeare play?”

He scoffed.

“Please, you weren’t alive at the same time as Shakespeare.”

“Maybe I was, maybe I wasn’t.” You said as you nonchalantly sipped your coffee.

“How old are you anyway?” He asked, genuinely curious.

You gasped, putting your hand over your heart in exaggerated shock.

“Villain! I am sick when I do look on thee. Don’t you know to never ask a lady her age?”

Hobi rolled his eyes.

“Thou crusty batch of nature! The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes!”

“Alright, you’re being dramatic.”

“Zounds! You rogue! You rascal!”

“Now you’re just quoting Othello.”

“Away you three inch fool! More of your conversation would infect my brain.”

Hobi sighed deeply, giving up.

“Finish your cake.” He said.

You smiled in victory, popping a strawberry in your mouth.

~~~

You slid another square of chocolate past your lips as your eyes scanned over the outline board. This was your second bar; it sat there on your desk with the gold wrapper peeled back, curling around the edges. You just couldn’t seem to satisfy your craving for something sweet.

Sighing, you picked up your phone to try to distract yourself.

2:42 — You: hey yoongles.

2:44 — Yoongi: afternoon, charles.

2:45 — You: whatcha doin?

2:47 — Yoongi: editing. You? Working hard, I presume.  

2:48 — You: ugh. Trying to. This one copy editor is pissing me off.

2:49 — Yoongi: describe them, exactly.

2:50 — You: bitch. Grade A bitch. You’d hate her.

2:51 — Nice. I love hating people.

You chuckled to yourself. Yoongi always managed to make you feel at ease.

2:53 — You: I made you lunch and left it in the fridge. Did you eat it?

2:55 — Yoongi: it had spinach in it.

2:56 — You: Yoongi!

2:57 — Yoongi: yessss?

2:58 — You: EAT LUNCH.

2:59 — Yoongi: I DID.

3:01 — You: CRACKERS AND ALCOHOL DOESN’T COUNT.

The three dots appeared and disappeared.

3:05 — Yoongi: I don’t like spinach.

3:07 — You: you don’t like anything.

3:08 — Yoongi: I like sleep and you.

A big goofy smile crossed your face. Coming from him, it meant a lot. He even put you in the same category as sleep, which he valued almost more than air.

With a newfound fuzzy feeling in your tummy, you set your phone down and tried to get back to work.

Pacing back and forth in front of the editorial board, tapping a pen on your chin, your analytical mind churned and ticked like a whirring machine on full power.

A soft knock came at your office door.

“Yes?” You called.

Melody shyly stuck her head in.

“Darling, I’m in the middle of being fantastic, can it wait until later?” You said.

“A package came for you.” She said, blushing a bit at your nickname.

You averted your eyes back to the board, waving your hand dismissively.

“Just leave it on my desk.”

You didn’t see as Melody responded with a curt nod, disappearing back into the hall to return a few moments later with her arms full.

Instead of cardboard on wood, you heard the crinkling of wax paper. Puzzled, you turned your head. Instead of a box, a big, beautiful bouquet of bright red tulips sat on the tabletop.

You looked at Melody with confused eyes, but she only smiled knowingly and ducked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Approaching the vibrant bundle, you picked up the card tucked between two of the buds.

Have a nice day, Charlie. Hopefully I was able to make it a bit better.

— Jimin

You read it over three times. Staring unbelievably at the vibrance of the flowers, you stroked the petals, plush and soft against your fingertip. This must be what his lips feel like.

You immediately shook the thought from your head.

He is such a sweetheart! He went through all this trouble for me? And here I’ve been ignoring him for the past three weeks.

A surge of vicious guilt stabbed you in the gut. You cursed at yourself for believing that distancing yourself and turning into a frigid bitch would solve anything. The only thing it did was hurt Jimin and leave you hungry.

Suddenly rigid with determination, you hurried to gather your things.

“Should I block off the rest of your day, then?” Melody asked as you stormed out of your office, your face masked with the purposeful expression she knew so well.

“Yes, please.” You said as you adjusted your jacket. “I’ve gotta get some shit done.”

“Okay, I’ve penciled you in for one day of excess drinking and general ass kick-ery.”

You smiled at her.

“What would I do without you?”

~~~

The front door slammed. A dozen different shopping bags hung from your arms, most of them filled with groceries.

Jungkook was sitting on the couch, controller in his hand, eyes glued to the TV. When he heard you come in, he looked up and smiled, showing his adorable front teeth.

“Hey Charlie.” He greeted.

“Hey bunny.” You set the load on the kitchen counter.

“What's for dinner?” He asked, popping up from his seat to inspect the contents of the bags.

“Beef and veggie stir fry.”

It was Jimin's favorite.

“Jimin's not here, right?” You asked.

You wanted it to be a surprise. After being so mean, you were determined to make it up to him. You’d planned something special, and after he’d had his dinner, you would have yours.

Just the thought of it made you lick your lips.

“No, he's got a class tonight.”

You nodded, excitement bubbling as you set to work chopping vegetables.

Just as you were finishing up, you heard the front door. Jimin came into the apartment, hair damp with sweat, workout clothes rumpled. He dropped his dance bag by the door and inhaled deeply.

“Stir fry?” He called out after identifying the scent.

“Hi Chim!” You said cheerfully as he stepped into the kitchen.

He blinked. You'd barely even acknowledged him in the past few weeks, let alone called him by his nickname, and he was a bit taken aback.

“H-Hi Charlie.” He said as his cheeks flushed. You flashed him a pearly smile, outlined in freshly-applied red lipstick.

“Hungry?” You were in the dining room now, setting the table.

“Ye-Yeah, just let me shower first.”

Once he was gone, you grinned to yourself.

Perfect. You’d snuck up to his bedroom right before he got home and placed one of the shopping bags (a Chanel bag, to be precise) on his bed.

You were just about to set the last bowl on the table after tidying up when you heard footsteps pattering down the stairs.

Jimin was fresh out of the shower, fluffy hair hanging in front of his eyes. He was wearing a soft white sweater; the symbol on his right lapel was two overlapping, back-to-back red C’s. Even with the designer piece of clothing, Jimin’s smile was by far the prettiest thing he was wearing.

You remembered every word of the note you’d written him, you could picture it nestled in the folds of the tissue paper.

Jimin, I’m sorry for being so cold to you lately. It wasn’t your fault. Thank you for the flowers. You always make my day better.

— Charlie ♡

Heart fluttering at the memory, you busied yourself with distributing the silverware. After everyone was seated around the table, you started to pass around the rice.

“So, Charlie, tell us about the eighteenth century.” Hoseok said with a teasing look in your direction.

“Is this your attempt at making dinner-appropriate conversation?” You replied, swirling your tongue over a cherry-flavored lollipop.

Jimin was watching your every move with hawk-like intensity. You were perfectly aware of how he gulped and clenched his jaw every time your lips wrapped around the red orb, and you were deriving a great amount of pleasure from it.

“What were you doing in the eighteenth century?” Namjoon asked, genuinely curious.

“Hell if I know. I spent half of that century in an opium den. And the other half saying “what the fuck is happening?” When you've been alive for as long as I have, the years start to jumble together. Like, one time back in 1904...or was it 1914, wait what year is it now?”

Everyone rolled their eyes and gave up on trying to get any coherent information out of you.

Once everyone was finished eating, everyone but you, obviously, the table was cleared. You were about to load all the plates into the sink when Jin stopped you.

“Don't worry, we got it.” He said with a wide smile.

You glanced into the kitchen to see Namjoon, Taehyung, and Yoongi starting on the dishes.

“Are you sure? I can do them if you—”

“Come on, Charlie. You cook almost every meal. Let us do this for you.” Jin said, putting a warm hand on your shoulder.

The small gesture sent your whole body tingling with heat.

You and Jin got along very well. He was tidy, something you appreciated, and you both valued hard work and organization. You would think that the two of you would get along partly because he was the oldest, but Jin was one of the most childish out of the group, along with Taehyung.

Not to mention he was devastatingly handsome. It was very distracting.

“Alright, thank you.” You said, proud of yourself for keeping your voice steady.

He nodded, flashing another radiant smile, and patted you on the back.

You turned towards the living room, eyes searching for one specific person.

“Jimin.” You called, causing the boy to snap his head up to look at you.

“Yes?”

You beckoned him towards you with one finger, and led him to the screen doors that opened out to the balcony. He eagerly followed behind you as the two of you stepped outside, night air sweeping past your faces. The light filtering through the windows plus the twinkling stars illuminated the wide space. You walked past the fire pit up to the patio table against the railing.

The building towered over the city, overlooking the skyline, glittering against the sea of lights. The view only added to the value of your top-floor apartment.

“Did you like your gift?” You asked.

He nodded vigorously, smiling so big his eyes turned into two thin crescents.

“Thank you.” He said.

“Don't thank me yet, there's more.”

Coming up behind him, you placed one hand over his face.

“Close your eyes.” You whispered, your mouth right by his ear, close enough to kiss.

You felt his lashes flutter against your palm as he obeyed, smiling to yourself as you felt a shiver run through his body.

Jimin felt the cool touch of metal against his skin. Once you'd permitted him to open his eyes, he saw that you had fastened a silver YSL necklace around his neck.

His mouth fell open. First Chanel, now Saint Laurent?

“Like it?” You asked.

“Y-You really didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to, Chim. It’ll make up for the way I’ve been acting lately.”

His gaze was locked on you as you stepped closer. You and Jimin were the same height, so your eyes were perfectly level. Even so, your commanding energy often made you seem and feel taller, especially if you were wearing heels.

“Now that you’ve had your dinner,” You began, reaching up to stroke the smooth slope of his neck.

“Can I have mine?”

You were expecting Jimin to blush, to shrink under your piercing stare, but to your surprise, his mouth twisted in a smirk, looking at you through hooded lids. Instead of those big brown puppy eyes you were so used to, he regarded you with a sultry, sexy expression.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for you to ask me that question.” He said, his voice low and resonant.

You smiled.

“Come here.” You said.

Jimin obeyed. Taking his hand, you pulled him over to one of the patio chairs and pushed him down. You climbed into his lap, straddling him.

“You have no idea how hard it was to stay away from you.” You muttered, barely loud enough for him to hear, staring at the bulging veins in his neck.

“Then why did you?” Jimin asked. You could hear the slight hurt in his voice, making your throat contract with guilt. Your gaze lowered, avoiding his eyes, as you swallowed hard.

“I...I didn’t want you to think this was turning into something it isn’t.”

He stared at you, then looked down with disappointment clouding in his eyes.

You gently held his chin, tilting his head up to look at you. Fingers tracing the line of his jaw, you ran your thumb over his plump bottom lip. His mouth felt just as you predicted, soft as rose petals. You sat there playing with his lips, rubbing, brushing, feather-light, tugging them between your fingers.

There was that blush you were looking for. Jimin’s gaze was focused solely on your face, looking at you like you were the only other thing in the universe.

“If this isn’t what I think it is,” He said. “Then why are you doing that?”

With your breath quickening, you abandoned his mouth to slide your hand down his neck.

“Because I’m selfish.” You muttered.

“No you’re not. You’re the most giving person I know.” He replied immediately.

You just smiled weakly, shaking your head.

“If I was smart, I wouldn’t be doing this.”

But you didn’t stop. You ran your hands over his shoulders, pulling the sweater aside to reveal more skin.

Jimin paused, studying you.

“Who says you always have to be smart about everything?” He said.

That made you look up.

“When was the last time you did something because you wanted to?”

He was looking at you hopefully again, the puppy eyes were back. Jimin had such a sweet face, you wanted to smother it in kisses until he was completely covered with your lipstick.

After a moment of consideration, you made up your mind.

You leaned forward in your position on his lap, hands drifting down to glide over his back. You dragged your long red nails up and down, making him shudder.

“If I did, what would you want me to do to you?” You asked.

Jimin’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

“I would want you to kiss me.”

You quirked an eyebrow.

“Is that all?”

“Anything more is up to you.”

He was right. Jimin wasn’t going to push you. You were the one who cut him off, if things were to go further it had to be your decision.

Your hands grazed down his spine, arms sinking low to cradle his body closer. Anticipation gripped Jimin’s limbs as he hung onto your every move. Slowly, teasingly, you angled your body over his, and moved to close the gap between your mouths.

He could still taste the lingering sweetness of the lollipop on your tongue.

All the tension corded in his muscles seemed to release as you melted into him, like sugar dissolving in water. He finally moved, as if he’d been waiting for permission, and kissed you back eagerly, gripping your waist and digging your hips into his.

The kiss was sweet, gentle, and hot all at the same time.

The pressure you exerted on him was light, barely enough to keep your lips connected. You wanted to tease him a bit, see how much it took to get him desperate.

Jimin chased your lips with his own, seeking friction, seeking you, but you denied him. Drawing back, you disconnected your mouths with a loud, wet sound that was more melodious in your ears than music.

You ran your tongue along his bottom lip.

Immediately, obediently, he opened up, granting you access. But you just continued to tease.

You traced the outline of his big, beautiful lips, sucking on the upper, taking the lower between your teeth and tugging until eventually letting go and allowing it to snap back into place.

Jimin sat there, motionless except for his heaving chest, eyes closed, with his mouth hanging open as you explored its every nook and cranny. The dip of his cupids bow, the sensitive corners, every swell and seam.

“You taste like fucking candy.” You sighed, brushing the lightest of touches along his jaw, then his cheek, then coming back to his mouth to seal it with a kiss, firmer this time.

This kiss was a mess of heat and desperation, all wet and sloppy.

Jimin’s hands slid up to creep under your shirt, drawing you closer by the small of your back. He was gasping now, fighting for breath while still refusing to break away from you. He moaned against your mouth when you rolled your hips on his growing bulge.

Your hands were tangled in his hair, tugging on it like you knew he liked, drawing out more strangled noises of pleasure.

At the sound of a particularly wanton moan, you pulled back, making him whimper at the loss of contact.

“Don’t stop.” He whined, eyes still closed as he leaned forward, trying to find you.

You placed a hand on his chest to keep him at bay. He finally looked at you, a confused expression on his flushed face.

“Are you sure you want this?” You asked. “Once we start, I might not be able to stop.”

The last thing you wanted to do was to scare him. It was no secret that vampires were natural predators, and that ravenous energy often translated into more...intimate aspects of their life. In all your years, you’d only met a few vampires that took on the role of submissive, and you didn’t consider yourself to be one of them. Of course, you liked to be dominated occasionally, but it took a very special person to be able to handle that position.

Jimin was gazing up at you with those wide, docile eyes. He licked his lips.

“I’m sure. I want this. I want you.”

You smiled.

The panther and the prey. The lion and the lamb.

Something inside you snapped. Snaking your hand between his legs, you palmed him through his jeans.

Jimin tensed, screwing his eyes shut as his head fell back.

“You’re already this hard just from a kiss? Dirty boy…” You teased, rubbing him with more friction.

Jimin bit his lip to try to keep in any noise.

“Is this all for me, hm? You get this worked up just for me?” Your voice was high and lilting.

Jimin could only manage a nod.

You chuckled to yourself, grabbing a handful of him and squeezing lightly.

“Tell me what you want me to do to you.” You whispered, looking down at your hand as you continued to play with him.

“T-Touch me,” Jimin breathed out. “Skin to skin.”

You made quick work of his zipper, sliding the waistband down low enough to reveal most of his underwear.

“Can I take these off? I want to see those gorgeous thighs.”

Jimin nodded.

You slid off his lap, dragging his pants down with you until they pooled at his ankles. Settling on your knees, you leaned forward to place a soft kiss on his clothed dick. You ran your hands over his muscular, god-like thighs, and his skin immediately broke out in goosebumps.

“You want my mouth?” You asked.

He nodded frantically.

“Speak up, sweetheart. I want to hear you loud and clear.”

“Yes! Yes, I want your mouth. Please...please, Charlie.” He whimpered. Oh God, just the sound of his desperate voice was making you wet.

You hooked two fingers in the elastic of his underwear and yanked them all the way down. They joined his pants on the floor. Grabbing each knee, you spread his legs wide.

Jimin wasn’t super long, but he was thick, and you licked your lips as you wrapped your hand around his cock.

He let out a hiss of relief.

“I like you begging.” You said, pumping him up and down. “Do it again.”

Jimin sucked in a breath of air through his teeth, jaw clenched. He was panting like a dog on a hot day.

“P-Please...please, Charlie. I’ve waited so long…”

“Have you now?” You purred.

“Ever since we first moved in.”

He was being far more submissive than you expected. Jimin was a tease, you’d known that for a long time, you were expecting a little more brattiness. Maybe he was holding back, giving you what you wanted. He was a sucker for praise, after all.

“You’re being so good for me.” You said, fondling his balls.

The small, shy smile that crossed his face made your heart flutter.

“Are you getting off knowing that anybody could walk by right now? That anybody could see you like this, all spread out and helpless.” You teased his slit to emphasize your point.

A choked groan caught in Jimin’s throat as he threw his head back.

“You’re such a needy boy. It must’ve been torture for you. Sorry I made you wait so long.” You said in an overly sweet voice, jerking him off at a faster pace.

Scooting closer, you leaned forward to lick a slow strip up the underside of his shaft.

Jimin let out a long, breathy “ooohhh.”

You wrapped your lips around his tip and started to suck him like one of your lollipops.

He was squirming now, clenching his fists at his sides, trying to control himself, trying to keep quiet. You were right when you said that anybody could walk by and see you.

Jimin moaned pathetically through pursed lips.

You released him with a pop, only to wet your lips and dive back down, taking his entire length. You bobbed up and down a few times, and then you heard something.

There was movement at the sliding door.

Moving faster than Jimin’s eyes could follow, you yanked his pants back up and shot to your feet.

Jimin blinked, disoriented, as Taehyung opened the sliding door and stuck his head outside.

“Charlie, Jin has challenged you to a game of Mario Kart.” He said.

“I'm a little busy, Tae.” You said, trying to keep your voice steady.

Taehyung just sighed.

“Great, now I owe Jin ten bucks.” He said.

“What?” You replied, interest peaked.

“Well, Jin bet me that you would chicken out, so now I have to—”

“Where is the cocky bastard?” You snapped suddenly, stomping towards the door.

“He's on crack. The headass can't even beat Rainbow Road.” You mumbled.

Taehyung smirked in victory as you slipped past him, even Jimin was laughing at the situation.

Taehyung moved to follow you, but the obvious bulge in Jimin's pants did not go unnoticed by him.

~~~

You came to regret fooling around with Jimin after your head was clear. It must’ve been the guilt of ignoring him, or maybe the fact that you hadn’t been fucked in a while, whatever it was, it wasn’t right.

This realization only filled you with even more guilt. It wasn’t fair to Jimin, your inability to control yourself was only giving him false hope. You needed to come to a decision and stick to it. Either vow to be responsible and only treat him as a friend, or go with your gut and follow your desires.

Of course, you couldn’t make yourself come to a decision right away, so you decided to spend some time alone.

You were lounging in one of the oversized armchairs in your bedroom, fresh out the shower, sipping coffee, when your highly-tuned ears heard the doorbell ring from downstairs. Still in your bathrobe, towel wrapped around your head, you hurried down the stairs.

“I’ll get it, I’ll get it, I’ll get it.” You chanted as you ran towards the front door.

When you re-entered the apartment, your arms were full of pizza boxes. You set them down on the kitchen counter, all of them except one, and then skipped back up the stairs. Now that the boys’ dinner was taken care of, you had the rest of the evening to yourself.

You shed your robe, snuggled into your top-quality silk sheets, and opened your favorite show on your laptop.

You had to order a whole different pizza for yourself because the boys hated your favorite flavor: pesto and white sauce with spinach and mushrooms. Eh, guess you couldn’t blame them.

“Nom nom nom.” You mumbled to yourself as you ate practically half a slice in one bite.

The next few hours were pure bliss, just you, food, a glass of wine, and some mindless TV. You hadn’t done this in a while, since before the boys moved in.

Back when you lived alone, you didn’t have to worry about anyone walking in on you lying naked in bed (you liked the way the expensive silk felt on your bare skin), but now you had to make sure everyone was sufficiently occupied before you tried to go around without any clothes.

You were just about to top off your third glass when a knock came at your door.

“Hang on,” You called, slipping back into your robe.

Taehyung stood there holding a loaded laundry basket. He flashed you a boxy smile.

“Special delivery.” He said.

You chuckled, opening the door wider for him to come in.

“Just set it in the closet.”

He was slightly taken aback. You were very private about your bedroom, and none of the boys had ever seen the inside of it.

You ran a hand through your still-damp hair, turning towards the bed to wipe off the crumbs.

Seeing that you were serious, Taehyung hesitantly took a few steps inside, looking around in awe.

Since it was the master bedroom, it was twice the size of any of the guest rooms. A beautiful king size bed was pushed up against the center of the wall, the frame decorated with swirling gold designs and a mountain of pillows. One wall was entirely dedicated to a large set of shelves, stuffed full of books, leather-bound journals, and what looked like hundreds of vinyl records, all frayed and worn at the edges.

There was a desk crowded with papers and magazines and dirty coffee cups, a heart-shaped ashtray sitting on top of the clutter.

But the thing that immediately stole his attention was the wall unobstructed by any furniture.

It's entire surface was covered in photographs, not a speck of white was visible. Old Polaroids, faded prints, pictures that looked like they were taken decades ago, torn and yellowed with age.

Some of them had you in it, but they were mostly of other people, family members and friends and their children and grandchildren, they were all displayed proudly on your wall.

He saw pictures of weddings and funerals, reunions and holidays. There were a few recurring figures in the photographs, alternating between younger and older versions of the same face, but you always looked the same. No matter how far back the pictures went, you always looked the same.

Taehyung snapped out of it, tearing his gaze away from the hoard of memorabilia to take care of the laundry.

While your back was turned, you didn’t see Taehyung approach the closed door next to the desk, thinking it was the closet. You heard the wood creak, then the sound of the laundry basket hitting the floor.

Turning in confusion, you were about to ask what the matter was, but a gasp of pure horror instantly replaced whatever words you were planning to say.

The door Taehyung had opened wasn’t the closet. Yes, there were shelves and drawers and hooks, but they weren’t for storing clothes.

Taehyung stood there with his eyes blown wide, jaw dropped. He stared at the contents of the small room in pure shock.

Hanging on various hooks on the inside of the door were bundles of different colored rope, varying in texture and material. Underneath that was a rack of nothing but cuffs, leather, metal, fur-lined. There was a large set of drawers, transparent so you could see everything inside, that contained a wide assortment of vibrators, plugs, beads, rings, dildos, and every other toy you could think of. Hanging on the wall behind that was whips, paddles, leashes.

Taehyung could hardly believe his eyes.

Gags, blindfolds, harnesses. Everything he had ever fantasized about was right here.

“I-I...it’s not-I mean, y-you weren’t…” You could barely stutter out the words. You were mortified.

None of them were ever supposed to see that. None of them were ever supposed to know about all your kinky tendencies.

It felt like a nightmare come to life. This would ruin everything. Now every time he looked at you he would remember the mini sex dungeon you had in your bedroom.

Your face felt white hot. The silence rang in your ears. Every muscle in your body was stiff as a board as you waited for Taehyung’s reaction.

His face was unreadable as he reached out to touch one of the collars, the tag hanging from the leather strap detailed with the word Pet in pretty cursive letters.

“Have you used any of these on Jimin?” He asked suddenly.

Your eyes widened.

“I-what?” You watched with anticipation as he ran his fingertip along one of the leashes, a peculiar look in his eyes.

“I saw you with Jimin the other night. Have you used any of this on him yet?” His voice was surprisingly clear and calm.

Your eyes darted back and forth along the floor, desperately trying to string together a coherent sentence.

“We haven’t...we never…” You sighed. “No, I haven’t used anything on him. No one knows about this but you.”

You didn’t know, but Taehyung felt a swell of pride at that. He was pleased that he was the only one who knew about this side of you.

His eyes raked over your form, still in your bathrobe, making you fidget.

“Does it bother you?” He asked. “That I know this about you?”

“Well...it doesn’t exactly make things easier.”

He tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy, something he knew drove you crazy.

“What do you mean?” He knew exactly what you meant.

“How am I supposed to act normally around you now?” You replied.

He was staring you down with those dangerous eyes of his.

“I don’t want things to be normal between us.” He said.

Shit. There it is.

You couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, Taehyung. No more games.” You commanded as you crossed your arms.

You saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard.

“Seeing you and Jimin together…” He began. “Made me think about all the feelings I’ve been having towards you, and it made me realize something.”

You shifted your weight to one hip, urging him to continue.

“I want you too.” He said.

Your heart jumped in your chest.

“I don’t care if you’re fooling around with Jimin, just as long as I can have you too.”

A heavy silence stretched between you, the only sound being the pound of Taehyung’s rushing blood in your ears.

You had to come to a decision now. Either reject him and establish your relationship as strictly platonic, or give in to the desires you’d been entertaining ever since you laid eyes on him.

It didn’t take long for one side of the argument to prevail.

Taking a few slow steps towards him, you let your hands fall back at your sides, your eyes slinking seductively.

You couldn’t wait to see how that collar would look on him.

“Well then, I guess I just added one more toy to my collection.”

~~~

a/n: thank you so much for reading! please tell me what you think and what i can improve on! next chapter will be focused on taehyung, hoseok, and jimin ;)

if you want to be tagged just let me know!

@rainbow-pandacorn @boononx @vannilacake @i-am-always-famished @oxymirror @bangttaeng @baekthecupcake​ @sleepysavya @kclaerhout @lilacbaby11​ @ceciann​

[rosemaryfm]

『ANYA TAYLOR JOY ❙ CIS FEMALE』 ⟿ looks like LYDIA MONTGOMERY is here for HER JUNIOR year as a COMMUNICATIONS student. SHE is 21 years old & known to be HOPEFUL, IDEALISTIC, DEPENDENT & MALLEABLE. They’re living in PERKINS, so if you’re there, watch out for them. ⬳ JAMES. 21. EST. SHE/THEY.

hllo. .. sorry fr switching muses so suddenly .. bt lydia will stick. i swear. as always gib this a like if u’d like 2 plot <3

TW ABANDONMENT, DEATH MENTIONS, BORDERLINE IMPLIED

aesthetics.

knee highs and platform mary janes, tulle skirts and bubbles and beads and lace, and heart-shaped mirrors and heart-shaped bruises, gaudy mirrors and gaudy faucets and gaudy frames and chandeliers and gaudy gold, handwritten love letters and kiss-stained envelopes, flowers braided in hair and dying flowers in vases and flowers pressed in between pages, vintage perfume bottles and old ballet slippers and discarded head-shots, short skirts and satin slips and tiny cardigans, melted candles and burnt fingertips and dripping wax, floral baths and beach waves and seashells and summer breezes, renaissance paintings and statues and praying hands and rosaries and empty beds, masks and identities and sobbing and crying and yearning and wishing and learning and wanting and needing and the cycle repeating and repeating and repeating.

basic info.

full name: lydia rosemary montgomery

nickname(s): lydia delia, lyds

b.o.d. - june 22nd, cancer

label(s): the allegiant, the chameleon, the crestfallen, the facade, the gregarious, the grifter, the malleable, the marionette, the neophyte, the obsequious, the rose-colored glass, the sybarite, etc. ...

height: 5′7″

hometown: new york city, new york

sexuality: bisexual

pinterest

stats

inspired by: amy march (little women), lydia bennet (pride & prejudice), lucy pevensie (narnia), daisy buchanan (the great gatsby), moira rose (schitt’s creek), karen smith (mean girls)

biography.

the product of an affair between christian montgomery, an esteemed doctor at his hospital - and one of the nurses there, allison dermont. the half sister of caleb montgomery (shoutout 2 alli!)

named after her maternal grandmother (deceased before lydia even turned one) and rosemary because it reminded allison of her childhood (rosemary always in the air, growing from pots on their porch and baked into the bread they’d eat)

growing up, lydia never knew her father. but she knew of him - her mother told her stories often of him, and the work he did to save others. built him up as a hero, a role model, someone admirable and brave and just despite the fact he’d no longer look her in the eyes when crossing paths in the hospital’s hallways. lydia idolized him.

was a very lonely child - her mother worked long hours, and babysitters were often distant. tended to attach herself to them, anyways, clinging to legs and arms and having to be peeled off and scolded (which then resulted in tantrums, of thrown toys and stomping feet and red, tearful faces)

her schoolmates were cruel to her, an easy target as a child - she followed behind the girls who seemed the most well liked, trying to mimic how they were. it’d always been a little off, and a little off-putting, and she cried often.

abandonment issues led to an obsession with perfection - as if she accomplished the most, her father would be blown away with her talents when he finally reached out. it’d always been a hope for her - her father contacting her, bringing her into his life. being a full family, loved and attended to. 

strove for the highest marks in all her classes, though there’d been hiccups here and there. she’d done ballet for a number of years before her dance instructor had essentially told her she’d never make it to a company, which led to her abruptly quitting. even put out a portfolio and contacted modeling agencies - she’d done a few small photoshoots as a teenager, but she’d never made it to anything big.

tried her hardest to act and work the part of someone important, elegant and better than who she really was. it showed in the aesthetics she indulged in (thrifted nearly everything she owned, from trinkets to her clothing) and the way she acted. in high school, she trailed behind the popular girls. molded her personality to cater to them, to be more like them. a mean girl, in a way. 

did the same when it came to boyfriends and lovers - she’d mold herself into exactly what they wanted, tried to be the perfect girlfriend for them, or sexual partner, or anything. she just wanted the attention, the love. had a myriad of relationships in high school (and it bled into college, too) where she’d give her all, and ultimately end up used and disappointed.

never felt like the first choice, only the second. always the bridemaid, never the bride. never good enough, no matter how hard she tried. but always remained hopeful - idealistic, always thinking that she’d get her turn one day. optimistic, but with lowering self-esteem and a mountain of insecurities.

became something of a habitual liar, in the process - always wanting to seem better than she was, so she lied about where she lived (instead of a measly apartment, she lived in a penthouse) and her accomplishments and her experience, and her feelings and who her parents were.

found something she was genuinely good at during her senior year of high school, when she’d chosen a fashion elective for one of her class periods. the practical aspect, she was good at - creatively? she had nothing to offer.

because of her lack of ideas, she never pursued it further. in college she chose to go into communications, specializing in public relations, though she’d never thought of actually finishing college. it was just a way for her to find a beau, to marry - to leave new york and have children. has always wanted to be a housewife with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. to be loved and held for the rest of her life.

without cliques in college, it was hard for her to find her footing among peers. joined a sorority, molded her personality once more into something they would desire, and was accepted. got a frat boyfriend until it burned out, and another, and another, until she had something of a reputation.

with all of these expenses adding up - lydia’d never wanted to work a retail job, or food service, or anything measly like that - she found use for her sewing skills in the back of npc shops. worked in a shady operation producing fake designer items. she’d been excellent at producing exact replicas.

it wasn’t a very safe job and it’d ended her up in danger on some occasions, but it paid, and she was desperate.

met caleb for the first time at his mother’s funeral and became obsessed with the idea of having a brother, of being closer to her father somehow. cyberstalked him as much as she could and found radcliffe, where she eventually transferred to when caleb had decided to go back. practically followed him like a lost dog.

got into perkins because she literally pre-wrote her essay to get in and basically sobbed her story in front of secretaries and deans and housing faculty until she’d been granted permission to move in.

currently interning at a company where she has control over their social media accounts, alongside a team of other interns. when she’s feeling particularly upset she’ll post passive aggressive or straight up distraught, distressing messages (tweets, captions, etc.) on their official accounts, sometimes featuring the mascot of the company/brand. they haven’t figured out its her, yet.

personality.

i won’t lie. she’s a bit of a mess. 

constantly changes her personality to fit whoever she’s talking to, desperate for their approval in even the most minimal ways. consistently lies about literally ... whatever, sometimes for no reason, if it’ll make her seem cooler or better in some way. type of person who wants to one-up others.

excessive, in that way. clingy and pushy, she tends to latch onto people and designate her ‘favorites’ - their opinion means the world to her, and when it falters she essentially crumbles as a person.

pretty fragile as a person - emotional, and unable to be yelled at because she’ll wind up crying. takes a lot of things very personally, and always accuses herself as being the problem, which leads to her changing aspects of herself.

loves often, and viciously, will fall for someone at the drop of a hat. yearns, often. sulks often, too.

still has a ballerina’s posture, model’s demeanor, very upright and it could be mistaken as intimidating, though the facade cracks immediately when she speaks. loves gossip and unintentionally - or, intentionally - spreads it at the drop of a hat.

can get very possessive, and jealous, and outright mean. very highly defensive at times, when pushed (it doesn’t take much to push her)

sentimental to a fault - she still has her last pair of ballet slippers despite the fact that she’d dropped that pursuit when she was fifteen.

her room is adorned with mirrors, handheld and mountable and tabletop - they’re all heart-shaped.

has an obsession with hearts, actually, and florals, and gold, when it comes to decor. has hanging plants and flowers falling from her ceiling. her sink is a gold swan (her favorite animals are swans) faucet that she paid to get installed without permission from perkins.

basically her decor is very gaudy. loves fur coats and silk slips and mini skirts, brandy melville, platforms and socks. very specific style that she doesn’t falter from, often.

takes baths often to distress but setting them up is an hour-long process in itself, flowers and herbs and candles surrounding her tub. she’ll stay in there until she’s pruny and the water’s gone cold.

likes to garner sympathy when she can - though she herself tends to be a very sympathetic, compassionate, person. cries for others even when they’re not crying themselves. it’s a lot. tends to make things about herself, in some way.

a smoker, and a bad one at that, does it whenever she feels the slightest amount of stress. she’s very stressed, very often.

likes the aesthetic of art, like renaissance paintings and roman statues, but isn’t deeply knowledgeable on them.

very impressionable, easy to impress, and is loyal to a definite fault. doesn’t tend to give up on people, and holds out for the best.

a dreamer, excessively hopeful and idealistic - is often let down. wears rose-colored glasses and doesn’t see it, anyways. can be vicious, but ultimately just wants to be loved. obsessed with the idea of it.

very finicky and picky, but is also? a hypocrite? says she’s a vegan but she isn’t - she has indulged in mcdonalds nuggets more than once.

very materialistic in that she loves high-end things that she ... can’t afford, but is also financially irresponsible and loves to spend her money on things she absolutely doesn’t need. selfish and immature, at times.

vastly insecure, likes reassurance. double texts. overthinks. romanticizes.

laughs when she’s nervous - laughs a lot.

patient until she’s impatient, the reason why she burns her tongue and the roof of her mouth so often on hot teas and coffee and treats.

is either over-prepared or under-prepared; over-prepared in academics, always doing the upmost she can do (still a perfectionist) and under-prepared when it comes to dressing out - never wears a jacket and is always cold (anemic, too) because she’s hoping that a handsome stranger will give her theirs’

wishes on dandelion puffs and shooting stars and each and every 11:11, wishes for a lot of things - they never come true, but she keeps wishing.

loves romance novels, and period / historical dramas/romances especially. like, frankly obsessed

has a collection of erotica novels, too.

sleeps around often but there’s no guarantee that she won’t get attached to who she’s sleeping with.

la croix fan :/

got onto the cheer team the same way she got into perkins. crying to the coach. but she does have immaculate form, so.

can’t say no to anybody, about anything and for anything its a genuine Problem she feels like she always Has to do what people ask because that’s how you get people to like you (no it isnt!)

tdlr; she listens to marina and the diamonds, lana del rey, and mitski far more than any normal fucking person would and that should be enough to describe her.

wanted connections.

okay so i kind of imagine her as being New to radcliffe so these may not be instantaneous but.

a ride or die... someone tht she wld probably die fr at the drop of a pin or w/e, they dn’t have to be Her ride or die though,, y’know what i mean

bad influences... she’s very impressionable and wants to fit in with people... they cld get her to do anything...

people she annoys... she does that a lot :/ she’s just intense. high care. needy.

friends! just friends... please ... give her friends ... she’ll lay down her life for them ...

a drug dealer... y’know ... just fr funsies.

party pals... needless 2 say ...

unrequited feelings... mostly if not entirely on her part, because she’ll ‘fall in love’ with just about anybody

attachments... that she has on other people. just won’t quit!

new yorkians... who might’ve known her in her youth! she went to a public school.

associated with caleb... people who only know her because she’s caleb’s bastard sister

bad time... something went wrong along the way of their friendship and now it’s ... super bad ... 

enemies... she’ll probably cry to your face or maybe even yell at u! who knows! u hate each other.

perkins roommate... i repeat, mayhaps a perkins roommate? who got thrust with her in the middle of the semester?

something soft... idk what ... cld be cute

the world is our oyster ... we can always brainstorm too... idk!! she’s new in town!! john mulaney vc !!

[blasian-kpop]

Bio Technical Servitude (2)

After a drunken accident, you end up with a humanoid robot. Will he do more harm than help? Is he more than what is programmed?

Chapter 2: Working it out

Word Count: 1,456

Genre: Humor

Warnings: Some cussing, but nothing too harsh

A/N: OK, so for anyone who was wondering, i accidentally deleted this story the first time i did it. but luckily i still had it saved in my word document and was able to recover it. SOOOOOOOOOOOO please give this series a lot of love and i will be done with chapter 3 soon enough. i still don't know is this character should be a (Y/N) or an OC character to PLEASE let me know what you yall want. it would be very helpful. Alrighty then! Enjoy.

__________________________________________________________

“How the hell do I make a profile?” I turned to Jin but of course, how was he supposed to know. That's when I heard the robot speak again.

“please download the control application corresponding to my company, ‘BTS’ is available in the Apple store and Play Store” his eyes still glow in a baby blue tint in the room as he repeats his statement over and over and over in a continuous loop like an alarm clock early in the morning. And just like said alarm clock, it became annoying as hell. “OKAY! I GOt it… damn”. He stopped. I picked up my phone from the countertop and opened the app store while Jin so caringly laughed at my frustration.

“It is available for iPhones and androids.” Jin leans over to tell me as if I didn’t just hear it before.

“do you wanna get kicked in the throat Jin?” I threated, Jin steps back with a teasing grin.

Once I downloaded the app and opened it, I was presented with a notification that is was syncing with the nearest server. That"s when the baby blue light in the eyes of the robot morphed into an intense grassy green colour. Jin and I stood amazed, if not shocked, as this experience continued to prove itself more and more- real?

But of course, I am still sceptical of the actual authenticity of this.

Back at my phone, I see the option to ‘Log in’ or ‘Sign up’.

I ‘Sign up’.

The next thing was a page of questions and statements and blank spaces beyond what I wanted to fill in, 15 may 20 question that just continue endlessly down my phone screen. “oh hell no, they are doing too much at this point” I complain and slug over to cough to sit. Jin following me, carefully passing the robot, but it stays unmoved, standing with a stable posture that was nothing but mannequin-like.

“name, address, weight? Height? Why do they need all this information? Creepy” Jin judged, but before I could inject my own opinion, the robot talked. “any or all question may be omitted. For the best results, please fill in the blank” with its back still facing us, I almost thought it was Jin, but the overly proper diction gave it entirely away.

“well looks like some of these will be left alone cause, I don’t see why this thing needs to know where I live, or my blood type or-“ you gasped a little at the next blank “why the hell do they need to know my menstrual cycle?! Creepy little shits!” I explode at the absurdity of this robot.

"For the best results, please fill in the blank"

"Okay!!" I shout, and it stops talking.

While I start the process of filling in this drawn-out sign up questionary-type thing. Jin goes to inspect the robot some more.

“you know I really think this is a real deal humanoid, this looks amazing” jin starts to touch and mess around with it. “oh yeah? then how about you fill out this form and take the thing with you?” you suggested sarcastically to jin, who in reply laughed “haha I’m actually good, you have fun with that” and continued to examine the robot.

I skipped most of the question by now that I deemed unnecessary and once I hit submit that's where the real ‘fun’ started. Out of what felt like nowhere, the robot made a complete 180 degree turn to face towards me. It was such a shard turn that I would be started, but his hard shoulder slapped Jin in the face in the process. I just laugh my freaking ass off watching jin hype himself up to start one of his whining fits “WHO T-THE HELL DO YO-” “emotional levels; stable. Emotion detected; amused” the robot interrupted as his eyes fade from the previous green to a now natural dark brown. They looked so real it was almost unsettling.

“What did it just say?’ the question was directed to jin, but of course, I got a response out of the Robot first “personal report, to heard it again say ‘PR repeat’, for a brief examination say ‘PR examine.’’

Speechless.

this whole situation is escalating to the point of just more questions. “personal report will be automatically updated bi-hourly, drastic changes will be saved in my database and action will be taken to bring you back to emotional and physical homeostasis.”

Again. Speechless.

I really wanted any reason to debunk this crazy machinery, but I spent my whole bank account on it, and it was starting to get hard to reject this. Even if it were real, it would make a great conversational piece. JIn nudges me and urges that I test it out “do something?” his whispers. “u-um..... PR examine, I guess.” Immediately this robot walks towards me maintaining creepy eye contact, all while I'm backing the fuck up. This thing better not blow up.

“Emotional levels; unstable, emotion detected; scared, confused, on offence. physical levels; unstable, physical defects; 67% hunger, 82% stress, 78% fatigue. Diagnostic; meal high in carbs and vegetables, a warm noncaffeinated drink, and a 6-hour rest in 67-degree temperature. Would you like me to start stabilising your health now?”

This is so ridiculous. “how did he get all of this information from just looking at me?” I directed to jin, but you already know what happened. “I am built with this ability to read your hormone levels and asses your condition accordingly, you can program me to auto-fix unstable conditions on the ‘BTS’ application.”

Jin starts laughing and holding on to my shoulder, shaking me a bit. “This is fucking great! Oh, my goodness. I can't believe your drunk behind actually bought an android! hahahahahahahaaaaaa” I shake my head at this abomination of a situation.

“I think I need a nap or something...”

“if you desire to nap, you will need 40 minutes to feel energised, but according to the time I recommend 6 hours of sleep in 67-degree temperature. Would you like me to start stabilising your health now?” The android dictated but at this point, it was starting to sound like an annoying notification for a weirdly intrusive app.

“NO. I would like you to just shut up for the remainder of the night, you creepy little pain in my fucking neck!” I didn't intend for my word to come out like sandpaper on an asshole, but with the monotone voice and jin taking his little passive jabs at me, I just walked away for the cage and let my demon run free for a bit.

“enabling silent mode.”

I sigh and slouch back into the couch and run my head. “yeah, this is enough excitement for the night I'm going to bed.” I stand up and look at jin “oh and thanks for helping me with....” I gesture to the robot who (while still silent) follows my movement. “...thing.”

Jin chuckles and rubs my back “ trust me. I was more than happy to be apart of this experience with you.” he walks over to the kitchen table to collect his things. “I’ll come back and check on you tommo- actually you want me to just come in the more so we can use the carpool lane?

“Please?” I plead to jin, and he points in the conformation of the plan then takes his leave closing the door behind him. As I start to walk over to lock the door, the robot follows me almost immediately. I stop and look at it as it stops right behind me. Continuing to the door, I can feel his heavy feet stamping the ground.

“ um..... stay,” the robot says nothing and just looks at me with a still face. I assume it understood to stay at the door, but once I started walking, it moved.

“no, don't more. Stay at the door” then oddly enough its lips start moving, but no sound is coming out. Then I remembered the silent mode. “oh. silent more off.”

“disabling silent more...... while I am programmed to protect your physical and mental health I am not programmed with house security, if you would like to protect your home, I recommend ordering BTS android model Jungkook.”

“no nononoonon I am NOT buying another one of you.” I shack my head walking away while it follows me. ‘and I don't need home security, I just don't want you to following me around my house so stay in the living more, place and thank you” it stopped walking as soon as I left into the hallway and out of the living room.... it stayed.

I went into my room and collapsed on the bed. Wished that this was a dream. And passed out.

_____________________________________________________________

if you want to view the whole series. go to the tag sc:bts.

[hollyhomburg]

The Sugar Wars (MYG)

(SOULMATE AU) 

Summary: Maybe tasting everything his soulmate eats wouldn't be so bad if Yoongi’s soulmate didn't have the largest sweet tooth Ever. Maybe you wouldn't need to sweeten everything if he didn't drink his coffee so bitter. 

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

W/C: 5.3k

Tags: Blood, fluff, Intern! Reader, copious amounts of coffee, brief angst

🎵 Song rec: 🎵 BTS - Coffee 🎵

- In a world where some people don’t get to see certain colors until they meet their soulmates, you know that you shouldn’t really complain about your soulmate system. 

- But somehow the taste of something else echoing on your tongue from deep within that long lost part of you- from someone else- is pretty annoying. 

- The taste of coffee at all hours of the day blossoming on your tongue from a mouth that isn’t yours makes you annoyed at the best of times

- At the worst of times, you find yourself piling sugar into your caramel macchiato making it as sweet as possible in retaliation. Your war against the bitterness on your tongue- against your soulmate.  

- Who even likes black coffee? no one with any taste and that’s for sure. Only Unhappy middle-aged men like Americanos and you are not ending up with a grandpa even if they are your soulmate. 

- That’s your soulmate system- you share taste buds with your soulmate and taste the reverberated echoes of their mouth at all hours of the day- though it’s mostly coffee- coffee at 2 am or 2 pm it doesn't matter. You find yourself wondering if your soulmate even sleeps when You wake up to bitterness. 

- Besides the ever-present taste of coffee in your mouth at all hours of the day, there isn’t much to go on to help you find your soulmate.

 - But you do go to coffee shops a lot figuring that it’s the least you can do. Sitting in the corner booth checking Instagram while you eat the sweetest pastry that you can find. 

- Recently you’ve had more free time on your hands since your best friend finally got her soulmate system- a compass on her arm that points in the direction of her soulmate, and she’s been traveling ever since trying to find them. 

- You scroll through her pictures of foreign places and temples. Wondering what it must be like- to search the world for your soulmate. 

- Your soulmate could easily be across the world- but somehow you’re hoping that they’re near you. 

- You wake up in the mornings with the taste of rainwater on your tongue or the cool brush of snowflakes in the wintertime. You pay special attention to the dates that you taste sweets- wondering if any of these could possibly be your soulmates birthday. 

- But mostly you just wait, confronted with the taste of coffee in the mornings, noontime, groaning when you go out for dinner and you can't taste what you’re eating because all you’re getting is coffee. You’re surprised you can still stand the drink. 

- You go on dates sometimes- always to coffee shops - but you usually end the date the second you see them put sugar in their coffee knowing that it couldn’t be them. 

- It hurts you a little when you taste another pair of lips on your soulmates mouth- but after all, you guess they're just getting tired of waiting for you. And you can’t help but sympathize because you are too, over half of the population has met their soulmate by your age. 

- And you know they must be getting at least a little lonely, with nothing but taste to comfort them. you're tired of waiting, you want to experience your soulmate with all 5 senses and not just one. 

- The other pair of lips tastes likes sweet lipstick and you wake up the moment that you do- your mouth tasting like the vanilla chalkiness of mac lipstick and Soju. 

- After that, you don’t stress as much over whether your coffee dates put too much sugar in their cup or not. If they’re trying to move on- or maybe get experience like a lot of people your age do- you can’t blame them. 

- What you don’t know is that At first, Yoongi doesn’t think he has a soulmate at all. 

- As he reaches his 20th birthday he’s more than a little disappointed that his system hasn’t shown its self yet. He wonders if maybe he just doesn’t have a soulmate, it’s not unheard of. But people who didn’t have soulmates weren’t supposed to want them? right? 

- All the boys have already figured out their soulmate system- even Jungkook whose never been able to see color. 

- At first, Yoongi uses it as motivation. Maybe if he didn’t have a soulmate he wouldn't be distracted.  Jin was often- by the other voice, his soulmates voice inside his head. Maybe his dream- their dream would more attainable without a soulmate. His busy life of an idol would always take precedence over any search he might undertake anyway.

- But then he wakes up one morning to the taste of caramel and coffee on his tongue, what could only be a caramel macchiato, which should be impossible because he hasn’t even had coffee yet today. And then he gets the taste of dough and strawberry jelly- what could only be a strawberry pastry echoing out of some deep part of him. 

- His soulmate must be eating breakfast- too sweet coffee and a pastry to boot, yuck- it’s the exact opposite of Yoongi’s taste. How could anyone like something that was that sweet?

- You finish up your degree and look for prestigious internships. Finally getting one at an entertainment company called Bighit. It’s not a lot- you’ll always be the lowest person on the totem pole but you hope that it will eventually become something more, that you’ll be able to prove to them through hard work and dedication that you can be an asset for the company. 

- You’ve wanted to be a manager for a group or maybe a theater for most of your life, loving the pell-mell of making the show run smoothly more than the show it’s self since you saw your first play when you where a child

- Performances are full of moving parts that appeals to your desire for control, maybe one day you’ll be a manager. 

- You’re not surprised when you’re put on coffee runs, for 30 or 40 people within the first week or so- every morning and every evening. Because of that- you don’t realize it. Because Yoongi isn’t the only one who orders his coffee, black without sugar or milk, iced more often than not. 

- One day you mess up the orders and somehow Yoongi ends up with a sweet coffee. Unbeknownst to him that the cute new intern is his soulmate. 

- That day when sugar blossoms on your tongue you decide to pity your soulmate and get an Americano- your soulmates favorite coffee from what you’ve figured. 

- And he’s just starting to complain about his soulmate again to the guys when the bitterness blossoms on his tongue like a balm to his too sweet mouth. 

- He doesn’t have anything to complain about- when it comes to Jungkook’s color blindness or the ever-changing tattoo’s that Namjoon has to deal with. (The times that they’d had to cancel performances because flowers had bloomed along his neck and they couldn’t conceal them). 

- Or the songs that where constantly getting stuck in Jimin’s head- though there was a little bit of joy there when it was their songs- Jimin was sure his soulmate was a fan of theirs Especially when lie got stuck in his head. 

- Or the fact that Hoseok gets bruises along his shins and little cuts on his hands from his soulmate. Pain appearing wherever the other injured themselves seriously. 

- Yoongi’s seen him wince as he gets echoes of pain across his soulmate bond- stopping practice sometimes because he’s got the wind knocked out of him.  Paper cuts and larger bruises blossom on his shoulder or hands. 

- And he knows that really it could be much worse- other than an unforgiving sweet taste that never seems to leave his mouth and can only be soothed by the bitterest of coffee. 

- The first time you meet your soulmate it’s more by accident than anything planned in the stars.  Your boss above you is out sick one day- which puts you in charge of delivery’s, even to the most popular boy group at the company besides the new trainees. 

- And it’s a little nerve-wracking, delivering the coffee to the 7 most popular artists in Korea, but you try not to stutter as 6 very sleepy men crowd around you trying to get their coffee from your overly full arms. 

- “Latte for J-hope!” He snatches it out of your holder trying not to jostle the other drinks. Smiling at you and thanking you with a short bow. He’s the only one with any energy this morning. 

- “Macchiato for RM!” the leader graciously nods at you and accepts the drink. You hand out coffees until they’re only one left. The others disbursing to sit on the chairs until practice starts- the choreographer’s a little late getting in today. 

- There’s only one unclaimed coffee in the tray “Suga?” you call out hesitantly, looking around for the rapper who you’ve only ever seen through pictures on the internet and through brief encounters in the hallway.

- “He’s over there- “one of the other staff says. He points to a couch, a figure covered with a puffy coat using it as a blanket.  “You should wake him up but be ugh… gentle about it?”

- With trepidation you walk over to the sleeping figure- to the black head barely poking out from the top of it, grabbing at his shoulder gently. “Mr. Min” you say softly, then shaking him a little harder when he just groans in response. 

- “The choreographer will be here to start practice soon Mr. min.” he groans a little louder. “I have coffee for you?” 

- “Black?” A Groggy Voice asks from underneath the jacket, muffled.the first response he’s gotten.  

- “No cream, no sugar.” You clarify, and that finally makes him sit up, revealing a cute ruffled head and puffy eyes that blink up at you lazily, squinting a little against the light. 

- You stifle down the part of you that wants to coo and squish his cheeks as he makes a noise in the back of his throat and rubs a hand over his eyes.

- Yoongi’s a little surprised too- not expecting to be face to face with the new cute intern (Hoseok and Jin had been talking about you excitedly a few days before- they had a reputation among the staff for screwing around with the interns- Yoongi’s not sure if Anyone’s warned you about that yet). 

- “Thank you,” he says, quietly, taking the coffee from you. His fingers wrapping around yours. Instant sparks spring across both of your fingers almost making you drop it.

- But luckily Yoongi’s aware enough to grab onto it. “Sorry” you say shyly, trying to banish the blush from your cheeks. “it’s fine” Yoongi’s eye’s fix on your figure as you hasten out of the practice room. 

- You don’t put two and two together even when the taste of bitterness blossoms on your tongue just as you leave the room. 

- It takes a few more weeks before the two of you talk again, this time Yoongi needs help carrying a new speaker into his studio and placing it- preferring to do it himself.  

- The two of you chat as you help him put it into place, you’re about to leave when you peak back into the room. “I’m going on a coffee run for management in a little while, can I get you anything?” Yoongi knows you’re just doing your job but when it comes from you it makes his heart beat a little faster. 

- “Yes please- I’m probably going to be here all night trying to get this hooked up.” “Iced Americano, no sugar, no milk right?” 

- “You remembered my order.” Yoongi jokes, playfully swooning, you’d been surprised at first- having known their dynamic from social media- to discover that Yoongi was so at ease and talkative when he was marketed at the cold member of the group. 

- But you suppose that his name has something to do with it.  You laugh and wink at him. “I remember every order- especially when they’re for people who are sweet like Suga.” You tease. the pun makes Yoongi chuckle and shake his head. He can see why Seokjin likes you. 

- Yoongi’s heart doesn’t stop beating fast until he’s already got the new speaker in place. And he finds himself wondering if he should ask you what you think when you get back. If he should ask for your help- maybe he could say that he needed to go get a new stand or something- and ask for your help bringing it back from the studio. 

- The thought of walking with you- just talking and exchanging banter makes him happy- even though he barely knows you- they’re so starved for human contact as idols.  

- He’s just coiling some of the spare wires in his room when the taste of blood blossoms on his tongue. 

- And it reminds him of the time that Hoseok fell over, clutching at his arm saying “shit shit shit” because it felt like his soulmate had just gotten shot- it had taken them nearly an hour to calm him down- only after he felt the pass-through of stitches and confirmed that his soulmate was in fact alive. 

- Hoseok’s soulmate would certainly have a lot to answer for when they finally met. 

- But soulmates die all the time, Yoongi often wonders what would happen to them if they did, would Jungkook loose his vision? Would the flowers that bloom on Namjoon’s body shrivel up?

- If his soulmate was going to die- it would probably start like this. 

- And he drops the wires onto the floor as the taste and the panic fills his mouth. The cold copper of it even filling his nose- His soulmate was bleeding, - his soulmate was hurt. How the hell does Hoseok handle this constantly?

- “Yoongi? Yoongi! Hey-“ a voice says, large hands grab him by the shoulders, its Namjoon- who’d probably walked into his studio to ask him a question and found Yoongi standing in the middle of it with wide eyes. Yoongi hadn’t even heard him come in. 

- Yoongi tells him about what’s happening more importantly about what might be happening. 

- “It’s probably nothing Yoongi- your soulmate probably just bit their cheek or something” “I know but-“ Yoongi stutters, unable to word his panic in the right way with worry working its way like molasses through his veins. Namjoon grabs his jacket and his hat. 

- “Come on we need to get your mind off of this-“ he says, “let's go out and get some food.” He says as Yoongi pulls on his jacket. This isn’t the first time that he’s eaten something to get the taste out of his mouth of his soulmate. 

- Namjoon knows this; back before they’d debuted, he’d often asked why Yoongi had stopped eating in the middle of dinner or brushed his mouth multiple times a day eventually getting the answer out of him- that his soulmate ate the weirdest combinations of food at the weirdest times. 

- Namjoon is no stranger to the difficulties of soulmate marks; his own flowers are blooming above his collarbones today so he wraps his neck in a scarf before he goes out, hiding the blooms of roses. 

- Yoongi decides that yes, he probably does need a meal to get his mind off of things. He hasn’t eaten any food today and he’ll probably need something to get the taste of blood out of his mouth. His thoughts of the intern who brings him coffee firmly out of his mind. 

- On their way out in the main entryway, a group of people is clustered around the bottom of the stairs. The first thing that alerts Yoongi is the Coffee dripping down the top steps, a half dozen cups spilled across the linoleum floors.

- Some of the staff crowding around a figure on the bottom stair where someone sits at the epicenter of the mess. You. Someone helps you sit up. “You lost consciousness for a moment there y/n” “I did?” you answer- but the words come out groggy and not all there, and muffled by something- like you’re talking through liquid in your mouth. 

- Y You hold the back of your head with one hand while the assistant manager- your boss holds, an ice pack too it. “y/n-ah” your boss says in a chastising tone. Your boss berates you gently for not being more careful taking the stairs- or for just taking the elevator like a normal person. 

- “I just swipped and I twide-“ “don’t speak y/n you’re getting blood everywhere.”  A makeup Noona says, holding a towel to your chin. A few people who must have seen you fall move aside as Namjoon and Yoongi slow. Passing you on the stairs. Namjoon winces when he sees the blood, 

- “is she okay?” Namjoon asks the manager, you look a little delirious. “She lost consciousness for a moment. We think she might have a concussion.” Namjoon nods and asks if there’s anything he can do. But Yoongi hears the words like they’re coming through water. 

- Yoongi almost flinches when he sees the blood that’s dripping out of your mouth- you bit your lip when you fell and the wound is unforgiving even dripping a little blood onto your blouse. But it’s already soiled with coffee stains anyway. 

- Yoongi is frozen to his spot on the stairs. 

- You try to speak, and a fresh dribble of blood drips out as the Noona shushes you not to speak. At the same time, a fresh pulse of the flavor in Yoongi’s mouth blooms on his tongue. 

- Someone comes running from outside, followed by an EMT.  Your manager and the noona help you stand and walk to the ambulance, you don’t put up much of a fight in fact- it barely looks like you’re conscious. 

- As Namjoon talks with the noona, he doesn’t notice that Yoongi is rooted to the spot. His wide eyes trailing after your form as they carefully lead you outside, an EMT catching you as you almost trip. 

- “Yoongi what’s- oh” Namjoon realizes when he finally remembers his friends.  

- “You don’t think- Namjoon what if-“ Yoongi stutters as the two of them watch the ambulance pull away. 

- “It’d be tough to know for sure unless-“ Namjoon says, a plan already working through his mind. 

- Yoongi walks into the hospital a few hours later feeling like a nervous schoolboy, carrying a cardboard holder full of two coffees and a separate bag with two pastry containers. 

- Tae has this favorite bakery that he always gets all their birthday cakes from, and from what he knows over the years you have a certain affinity for strawberries, so the strawberry tart is more than just for you- it’s a test. - Really he shouldn’t have spent so much money on them- but he couldn’t resist.

- Because if Yoongi could watch you, as you tasted the tart and know for sure when the taste of strawberries erupted on his tongue down the soulmate bond- then he could definably know he’s your soulmate, that you’re his for sure this time. 

- “I got you some coffee- with lots of cream and sugar,” he says shyly from the doorway walking in to find you propped up in bed. 

- You’re a little bashful when Yoongi hands you the tart and sits down- because you certainly didn’t expect your boss’s boss’s boss to take such an interest in your recovery. You’re just an intern and There’s no reason why Yoongi should be so sweet to you. 

- You take a sip of your coffee and find it overly sweet. “How did you know this was how I liked it?” Yoongi sucks on his cheek for a moment thoughtfully tasting coffee- but it’s not enough to know for sure for sure. “Just a lucky guess?”

- You talk softly about your recovery, about your concussion and overnight observation and complain about how long it will take you to get out of the hospital and go back to work. “Take as long as you need to recover.” Yoongi passes on the message of management. 

- You take a bite of the strawberry tart and almost startle when Yoongi stands up abruptly knocking over his chair. “I knew it!” he yells, and you look at him like he’s got three heads. Your what the fuck expression makes him sit back down, stumbling and accidentally dropping his fork onto the ground as he tries to get out his tart- a chocolate one.  

- “Hold on a second,” he says, reaching into the box for a second tart. He nearly shoves half of the chocolate tart in his mouth in eagerness, not bothering to find another fork.  His eyes lock with yours until he see’s recognition in your face as you put two and two together.  You let out a little “Oh”

- Yoongi reaches out for your hand, his gummy smile on his face sweeter than your coffee. Sparks light up along the edge where your skin meets his again, “Hey there soulmate.” He says through a mouthful of chocolate tart. 

- He can’t spend too much time at the hospital but he brings you food every day until you’re released and start back at work. 

- Yoongi calls you to his office by telling your manager that he needs someone to help him move something- which is a total lie, but regardless he’s happy to see you. 

- He asks you how you’re doing and you shyly reply that you’re just a little tired. He shows you what he’s wanted to show you since forever- since he first realized what soulmate system he had. The song that he wrote for you- Coffee.

- The song it’s self almost brings you to tears but Yoongi just pulls you down onto his lap, and at first, the affection feels somewhat awkward, but when you tuck your head into his shoulders it starts to feel more natural. 

- “I was waiting for you, you know,” he says softly.  And you reply that you were too. And it’s true; the both of you have been achingly lonely.

- “Can you please Please stop over-sweetening your coffee?” 

- “I was only over sweetening it because someone like’s their coffee bitter af” “like my soul,” Yoongi says with a small smile. But you relent- Now your coffee tastes like the normal amount of sugar. 

- Sometimes he’ll walk into his office and find a piping hot cup of coffee with a little heart on the side, placed on his workbench.  Every time it happens he finds his heart beating rapidly, and he’ll walk into meetings smiling like an idiot. the others oblivious accept for Namjoon, who sends him a knowing smile.

- As a counter attack, Yoongi gets you roses and chocolates and has a delivery person surprise you in the middle of work. He doesn’t know exactly which kind of chocolate is your favorite despite having tasted it on his own tongue many times before so he gets you a bit of a selection. 

- He knows the second you get it when the taste of chocolate blossoms on his tongue- milk chocolate with… almonds? Walnuts maybe. You text Yoongi later. With a little bit of a jibe. “Who knew Suga could be so sweet?” He knows you’ll make that joke till the end of time.  

- “Don’t pretend you didn’t love it.” Yoongi flirts back. Waiting anxiously in the car for the ding of his phone to let him know that you’ve messaged him back. “You know how much I like sweet things ;)” you send back and Yoongi almost explodes.

- In order to get a little more time together Yoongi starts walking you back to your apartment from work- and then he’ll walk back to get a car to the boy’s dorm. The two of you will spend ages drawing out the walk, going as slow as possible so that you can spend as much time as is possible together.

- His hand in yours feels so nice, even if it’s just his thumb running senseless patterns and rhythms down the side of your hand and thrumming along the line of your wrist. The sparks that you feel when he touches you never really go away. 

- You couldn’t fit Yoongi better; you dissolve his worry’s without him ever admitting that they are worries, dissolving his stress with gently jibing funny comments that make him snort iced coffee out of his nose more than once. 

- On your breaks, you Duck in with him to his studio sometimes just to say hello and those times quickly become his favorite part of the day.  

- You have to admit it’s a little confusing at first- seeing as he is your boss. But you keep a completely professional relationship at work, your career means too much to you and Yoongi respects you enough not to put it at risk. But you can feel Yoongi’s eyes on you whenever you enter the practice room with a run of coffee, and you’ll often hide little hearts or a note or two underneath the sleeve of his coffee.

- You continue on your internship track. Eventually getting hired as an assistant manager- with no one at the company any the wiser that your soulmate is the young rapper. 

- Yoongi and you start to date casually it works out surprisingly well- seeing as you’re both busy at the same times (most of the time) and you know his schedule pretty well.  

- Management doesn’t find out until they’re discussing soulmates one day, seeing as Joon recently found his own soulmate (at a community garden of all places). Talking about letting them have their own apartment. 

- They’re having a meeting when you walk in with a coffee run and Yoongi casually says “seeing as we’re finally getting around to talking about it- it would be nice if y/n and I could finally move in together too.” And Mr. Bang almost chokes on his coffee as you nearly trip over J-hopes chair narrowly avoiding spilling the coffee. 

- You flush, everyone’s eyes suddenly on you. “um- hey?” you say awkwardly, Yoongi chuckles and you send him a look at that says “what was I supposed to say? Hey sorry, I didn't tell you that, I’m your best friends soulmate?” 

- “Do you mean to say that Y/n- ah is your soulmate?” you place Yoongi’s coffee in front of him roughly- a little angry that he ousted you, across the table Joon facepalms.

- The two of you have a private meeting with your boss and the head of the company and they decide that since the two of you were obviously so good at keeping your relationship on the down low- that they won’t penalize you. 

- All it takes is another coffee date to make you forgive him however though it does take a few more pastries than usual. 

- A few weeks later Yoongi gets you a mug with a key in it to officially ask you to move in with him, seeing as you haven’t broached the topic since the discussion with management. It’s a little soon- you guys have barely been seeing each other for half a year- but you’re soulmates, so it’s not like anyone will judge you for taking things quickly. 

- You take time decorating your first shared space, it has a mixture of modern and old touches; from the warm hardwood floors to the modern windows and couches, to the plants that you insist on, to brighten the space with pops of color.  

- Since space is limited- Yoongi and you find an old stand up wooden piano at a flea market, leaning it up against the wall and spotting pictures of the two of you and your families around it. 

- It’s surprisingly easy to hide from the fans- seeing as you work for their company very few people suspect you, even when you walk next to Yoongi they don’t seem to notice too much. And it keeps your relationship blissfully out of the tabloids. 

- Now the bitter echoes that you get down your tongue don’t make you angry no matter what you’re eating. He loves the sudden burst of sweetness when he’s working on something early in the morning, of your favorite caramel macchiato. 

- Kissing him tastes like sparks, like the perfect compliments, bitterness and sweetness, saltiness and savory next to each other. A breath of warmth. Mixed with a cold huff, the perfect balance. 

- Your apartment is always filled with the smell of coffee. You get him a cappuccino maker for your first anniversary jokingly telling him that he needs to widen his horizons from just Americanos. 

- The two of you spend Sunday mornings wrapped up in each other’s arms, and when Yoongi wakes in the morning, his cheek pressed to your hair he finds himself so so lucky- that he got a soulmate that fits him so well. 

- You wake one morning to find him banging away at the piano in the corner of his apartment. Quietly playing a few lines of “I need you” and it’s such a soft moment he doesn’t notice you watching from the doorway, listening to him play as you watch him close his eyes against the music. 

- You wordlessly lean over him to put a cup of coffee on the top of the piano he stops playing. Looking up at you startled, saying that he didn’t know you where awake as he thanks you for the coffee. 

- “Won’t you keep playing for me,” you ask him, taking a sip out of your own coffee. The taste of your soulmate bond has dulled a little over the years- Yoongi doesn’t automatically taste it anymore. He has to reach a little further into himself before he can feel it- before he can taste you again. 

- You wrap your arms around his shoulders. Yoongi wraps another around your waist in a sleepy good morning hello burying his face in your sternum.  

- You put a hand against the cords to steady yourself unintentionally making a noise but Yoongi just smiles back up at you. “You’re in a cuddly mood this morning.” 

- “Always in the mood for you” he mumbles against your shirt- or more specifically his shirt that you’re wearing. 

- The coffee cools on the top of the piano as Yoongi reaches up for your face, his favorite morning drink forgotten. 

- Because right now- all he wants to taste is you.

Read Namjoon’s story- Wings and Thorns- HERE 

[waitinginthedarke]

He’ll be wrong, for you.

A BTS/Kim Taehyung Fanfiction

Summary : What happens when you take on Kim Taehyung… Type: Mafia!AU (BTS)

********************Prologue********************* Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6

‘Have you got any coffee?’

The question is asked in a gravelly voice, the sight of the warehouse presenting itself to you through a slightly blurred, and exhausted, vision, but you still manage to seek him out in the darkness, his omniscient smirk being illuminated by the single table-side light that separated the space between your two chairs.

‘And why might you be asking that, Angel?’

A spark of irritation flickers in your stomach at the pet name, tiredness weighing down on your responses to him, but you’re too spent to really acknowledge it with how much you desperately needed caffeine, and deeply despised your need to sleep.

‘Taehyung, have you got any or-‘

‘Its 5am, Y/n. …maybe instead of drinking coffee, you should consider getting some sleep?’

The way he cuts you off forces a biting reply to the forefront of your tongue, but before the words can leave your lips, you’d caught sight of the worried expression he was watching you with, your eyes slowly following the length of his arm till you see the way he’d reached over to gently cover your hand with his.

‘I don’t need-‘

‘The guys went to bed almost two hours ago, beautiful. And I’ve spent the past two hours watching you try not to fall asleep in that chair, despite me telling you amusing stories about the gang.’ He points out, a wry smile curling the edges of his lips, despite the deep bow in his brow, one that grows larger as he gets elegantly to his feet and takes a step toward you only to come to kneel at your feet.

‘Whatever it is that’s brought you here tonight, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. …but what I do want you to do…is to forget about it whilst you’re here; …you’re safe with me.’

He speaks the words with such sincerity as he peers up at you, his hair falling into his eyes slightly where he’d spent his evening nervously, or perhaps stressfully, raking his fingers through it. In that moment you think you might tell him everything, that you might spill your life into his lap; the ugly dark truth.

…but then you think about the way he’ll run away from you…the way he’d walk away in just the same way all the others had. 

You weren’t sure why the thought of him turning away from you bothered you so, this man who, for all intents and purposes should be your enemy, whose warehouse you’d waltzed into this evening with no idea as to why but every intention to stay...

... you just knew you didn’t want to lose him just yet.

‘I’m not going to judge you, y/n. …I just want to make sure you’re at your best so that you can deal with whatever it is that’s plaguing you. …I might have only know you for a few days, but you’ve always intrigued me from a distance. I’ve always found you-‘

‘What do you mean from a distance?’ you cut him off, the last corner of your brain that wasn’t laden with exhaustion picking up on the odd use of words that hinted at something further, and you find yourself watching him carefully as his eyes widen just the tiniest bit.

‘I monitor all the gangs in the area closely, y/n. I didn’t come to be of the caliber I am by ignoring others and simply focusing on my own wants for my gang.’ He explains, squeezing your hand gently and distracting you momentarily with its warmth and reassuring feel, before you’re quickly looking back up at him.

‘When you say monitor,….’ You begin, brain working faster than your conscious reactions as hope burns beneath your rib cage, the thought that maybe he already knew about your past and was still ready to accept you causing your heart to pound as your breathing silently speeds up.

‘I study my rivals. I learn their weaknesses and their strengths. I infiltrate other gangs databases so that I’m ready for any kind of attack I may encounter-‘

‘So you know the-you know everyone’s pasts? You know-‘

‘I know almost everything about you since you joined Kyuho’s gang…yes.’ Taehyung confirms, a glint of unsurity in the depths of his gaze as he watches you accept this information, but the way he’d worded his confession had you worrying about something much different than what he was concerned about.

‘since I joined…so you don’t-‘

‘I know the entire backstory of every single assassin and trainee in your gang,’ he begins intently, eyes flickering between yours as if he was searching you for something, and before he could even speak the words, you knew what he was going to say.

‘…except yours. Your file, before you met Kyuho, …was blank.’

A measure of despair enters you, the hope that had been building in your gut instantly being dashed as you realize he didn’t know. The need to run begins to tighten your muscles, a moisture welling in your eyes, and you quickly move your gaze from his, staring at your joined hands momentarily before all the defense strategies you’d adopted as habit over time suddenly swarm your body, taking away any control your subconscious had.

‘I think I should probably go. …get back to work and all-‘

His face fills your vision as he pulls you back to him from where you’d got to your feet and attempted to move away, and despite your cemented need to escape, you find your steely façade fracturing under the concerned expression he was pinning you down with.

‘I don’t care who you were before, y/n. We all come to be where we are for different reasons…but what brings us together is a need for comfort, and a need for revenge- it doesn’t matter how pretty you try to make the situation.’ He begins, his hold on your arm where he’d grabbed you being secure, like it could stay there forever and you’d never grow weary of it.

‘Please don’t run off because you’re scared about what I might think of your past…we’ve all got demons, angel…’

The need to flee takes a pause with those words, your eyes immediately flickering up to his to see him staring down at your hands once more as he slowly comes to grasp your fingers with his own, before peering up at you and offering you a timidly reassuring smile.

‘Please tell me you wont leave just yet.’

It’s the way he says the words so quietly, so timidly, that has you realizing the position you’d found yourself in; standing defenseless before the master assassin Kim Taehyung himself…with your heart racing at the way his eyes watched you closely as his tongue slipped out to moisten his lips.

You shouldn’t have gotten this close.

‘I have to go.’ You murmur, swallowing thickly as you battle against your desire to stay, seeing the light in his eyes dim as he frowns at your hasty retreat, a look of hurt painting his features as his grip on you loosens so that you can put some distance between you.

But even as you get to the doorway that would take you back outside, you find yourself slowing despite yourself, slowly turning back to look at him only to see him stood in the exact same space as he looks back at you, mournful expression flicking momentarily with hope at your pause, before his features become painted stoically once again when you make no move to return.

And its that charade of indifference that he shows you, the sight making you crave his soft side once more, that has you speaking your next words.

‘I’ll be back…I promise.’

-------------------------------------

‘And where have you been all night?’

You roll your eyes at Kyuho’s abrupt, demanding question as you stroll into HQ a few hours later, barely 20 minutes of sleep under your belt, and only 4 shots of espresso to keep you going.

‘What jobs have you got for me today?’ is all you respond, not wanting to talk to him after what he’d said the night before, but knowing you had some unfinished business to attend to. 

‘Are you going to answer my question or-‘

‘Im just here to finish what I started.’ You cut Kyuho off, the interruption pulling you from your memories of the way Taehyung had held your hand more or less all night, and you flash your gaze up to look at your boss directly in the eye, finding him looking back at you with a steely gaze that flashes with mild surprise.

‘And what exactly-‘

‘Just give me my file for the day. I want to get finished asap.’

All he can do is stare at you with a single raised brow, before turning around to retrieve your prepared instructions, muttering something under his breath as he does so. As he turns back to offer you the file you can see he’s about to say something, but before he can say anything you’re snatching the thin paper folder from him and heading for the door.

‘Y/N, I want to talk-‘

‘Works calling.’ You shout over your shoulder, hating the way you felt bad about your actions with the hint of regret you could hear in his words. But before you let yourself get hung up on him, you were mounting your motorcycle and speeding toward the destination of the day’s first tests.

You preferred the hand to hand combat; the pure rush of adrenaline that takes over every move you make until you find yourself blending into a machine of pure strength and skill, only surfacing from the high of it all once all danger had dispersed from your immediate path.

So few combatants that you faced these days really appreciated the focus and skill that was required for physical attacks, preferring to hide behind guns or other such weaponry that showed just how cowardly they truly were.

The person you faced now, for example, was clearly lost without the aid that he was so used to having, his nun-chucks lay 10 meters to the left where you’d thrown them only a moment before. However, it had only taken you seconds to realize that they were the only thing this guy was really skilled with; the sight of his hands trembling slightly where they were pursed before him making your lip curl, not in amusement, but anger at his clear disregard for the basic knowledge and skill of combat.

‘Just give up, it will be easier for you. I’ll even let you go if you tell me where your boss is hiding.’ You tell him, voice neutral, emotionless, not allowing him any advantage as you hold your ground, slowly, un-susceptibly moving closer to him as he continues to bounce ridiculously on his toes.

‘I’ll never give up. You’re the one that should turn around little lady.’

Boy did he sounds like a walking cliché.

For the past 30 seconds you’d been waiting for the swipe of his right arm to jut out toward your throat, the constant eyeing of your jugular having given away his intentions before he’d even consciously decided on making the attempt. Sadly for him though, you’d already plotted your own plan of attack, within miliseconds having his face pressed harshly to the concrete, and your knee forced snuggly against his spine, his cry of pain in response resonating around the darkened shipping yard.

‘I’ll give you one more chance. And I swear to god if you call me ‘little lady’ once more I will rip your arms from your sockets without thinking twice; don’t think I wont.’ You explain, leaning down to hiss the words in his ear as you hold his arms tightly behind his back, daring him to move as you wait for him to show his understanding with a barely susceptible nod of his head.

But of course, his ego ended up getting the better of him, and within minutes you were leaving him in a heap of collapsed limbs on the concrete, the groans and cries of pain emanating from him as you walked away with the USB he’d had hidden in his jacket, proof that if you made a promise to someone, even if it was to rip their arms out of their sockets…

…you were going to keep it

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‘Boss, she’s back.’

You’d had all day to think over what had happened the night before, how Taehyung had confessed that he knew everything about you but the thing you simultaneously wished he did and didn’t know most. You’d spent almost every waking hour thinking about how you could tell him, what you wanted to say to him…..considering the way you’d found yourself thinking about him…

And yet you’d still arrived at the warehouse with no idea of what you really wanted to say-

-or why you’d even returned.

The simple sentence that had been called by Jungkook into the vast space of the room had been enough to conjure him from the small office hidden in the corner, the second he appeared in the doorway, hands in his pockets, regarding you across the space with a level yet silently thankful quirk of his lips causing your pulse to thunder in your ears as you look back at him, trying to stifle the smile that wanted to grace itself for him.

But that’s before his expression is suddenly slashed by one of concern.

‘What happened?’

Confused, you watch him stalk across the space towards you, eyes drifting over your body and bringing your attention down to your clothes, causing you to recall the struggles of your last mission in which you’d been painted by a couple of bloody spatters in a dirty brawl.

‘Oh, its nothing…I just- I should’ve gone home to change before I came, but-‘

The end of the sentence stops short on the end of your tongue, the words ‘I couldn’t wait to see you’ hanging silently in the air between you, and when your gaze flickers doe-like up to him you see him looking down at you with silent intrigue, mouth quirking into a knowing smile where his friends could only see his back as he stood before you, and the private moment had you subconsciously biting your lip as you continue to hold his gaze, heart racing in your chest.

‘Perhaps you’d like to get a fresh shirt.’ He mused, his statement seeming to offer you the chance to leave, but just as he sees the logical answer conflict in your gaze, he’s quickly remedying his choice of words, into one more promising for you to stay.

‘I have one in the office.’

Every time you saw him again, you found yourself getting caught up in his beauty. Compared to all the other mafia bosses that you’d ever met, with their hard faces, stubble sharpened jawlines, and perfectly gelled hair, the clean, smooth skin, soft sweeping hair, and perfectly sculpted features of the man before you always caught you off guard, causing you to admire his angelic perfection for a few moments before he caught you looking-

-as he did in that moment.

‘Come with me.’

The dagger-like, curious gazes of Namjoon, Jimin, and Jungkook staked themselves into you as you followed their leader across the warehouse floor and into his office without a word of explanation, the silence the moment held feeling like it was weighing you down up until the moment he shut the door behind you, and the two of you were alone once more.

His switch from mafia boss to caring man was almost instantaneous with the click of the door shutting.

‘How was your day?’

You watch him as he moves past you to a closet in an alcove of the room, his question being dropped into your hands as casually as though the two of you were life long friends, and despite your awareness of the fact you hadn’t automatically responded to his inquest with an answer, you couldn’t help but watch after him, confusion clouding your mind as you work to get your brain to catch up with the moment, and to stop dwelling on the way his hand had felt clutching yours as he’d pulled you into the small room.

‘That bad?’

His voice suddenly being in front of you, snaps you from your thoughts, your gaze shooting upwards to find him looking down at you with an eyebrow raised, smolder subconsciously twisting his features as he waits for your answer.

‘Here.’

You hadn’t even noticed the shirt he’d been holding before him, the way his hand suddenly clasps around your own as you go to take it from him causing you to nervously swallow as you wait for his next move, letting go of the breath you’d been holding when his hand gently drops from yours, before thanking him quietly.

‘I’ll leave you alone for a moment.’ He murmurs, his expression when you glance up at him being clouded with concern, and the way he looks at his feet, eyes not meeting yours, has you suddenly reaching for him before he can walk away.

‘Taehyung-‘

His instinctive, instantaneous turn of his head in your direction, eyes lighting up as every facet of his body seems to fine-tune itself to you has every concern you had trying to battle their way out of your mouth at once, the need to tell him just how you felt, the confusion, and the blind want for him bubbling to the surface…

…only for your instinctive assassin nature to smother them as though they were the enemy.

‘Thank you.’

‘No problem, Angel.’

Staring at his back as he disappears out of the door, you’re left wishing you could have said more.

(T.B.C)